Chapter Text 章节正文
Walking up and down the corridors in the dead of night, with Sebastian breathing down his neck, sets Ominis's teeth on edge. He keeps being poked and prodded, like a life-sized and horrifyingly life-like doll, asked constantly if he 'hears something over there.'
深更半夜在走廊里来回踱步，塞巴斯蒂安的鼻息喷在他后颈上，让奥米尼斯牙关发紧。他不断被戳戳碰碰，活像个等身大小又逼真得吓人的人偶，对方还总问他"听见那边有什么动静没"。
"Yes," he snaps. "I hear one massive prat running his mouth."
"听见了，"他厉声道，"听见某个蠢货在喋喋不休。"
Sebastian's lips are one continuous line of neatly pressed impatience.
塞巴斯蒂安的嘴唇抿成一道紧绷的直线。
"I'm trying to help."
"我在想办法帮你。"
"You aren't," Ominis sighs. He lifts his wand in front of his face and paces slowly, conflicted.
"你不是。"奥米尼斯叹息道。他将魔杖举到面前，缓慢踱步，内心充满矛盾。
**
"How does that spell work?" Sebastian asks him one evening; the Slytherin common room is gradually emptying around them, stubs of nearly burnt out candles flickering, painting stretched shadows on the stone walls. The amount of homework Professor Sharp assigned to his fourth year students has doubled in amount compared to last year, and Sebastian is nearly falling asleep with his nose in the parchment.
"那个咒语是怎么起效的？"某个夜晚塞巴斯蒂安这样问他；斯莱特林公共休息室在他们周围逐渐空荡，几近燃尽的蜡烛残梗摇曳着，在石墙上投下细长的阴影。夏普教授给四年级学生布置的作业量比去年翻了一倍，塞巴斯蒂安的脸都快埋进羊皮纸里睡着了。
"It's fairly simple, isn't it?" Ominis responds; the enchanted quill scrapes against the yellow paper. Its handwriting is chopped and loose; it does no justice to Ominis's elegance. "I am just telling it what to write and it does."
"相当简单，不是吗？"奥米尼斯回应道；魔法羽毛笔在泛黄的纸上沙沙作响。笔迹断断续续且松散，与奥米尼斯本人的优雅毫不相称。"我只是告诉它要写什么，它就会照做。"
"No, no.." Sebastian stifles a yawn with the back of his hand, glancing down in disdain at his interminable essay. His wrist hurts. Maybe he should get Ominis to charm his quill too. Or persuade Anne to write it for him; her homework is already done and she's enjoying the comfort of her own bed as they speak. Lucky.. "I mean the one you use to walk around. The red one."
"不，不是..."塞巴斯蒂安用手背捂住哈欠，嫌弃地瞥了一眼自己没完没了的论文。他的手腕酸痛。也许他该让奥米尼斯也对他的羽毛笔施个咒。或者说服安妮替他写作业；她的作业早已完成，此刻正惬意地躺在自己床上。真走运..."我是说你用来走路的那个咒语。红色的那个。"
"The red one," Ominis chuckles. "Don't ever say that to Professor Ronen. It's.."
"红色的那个，"奥米尼斯轻笑。"千万别对罗南教授这么说。这是..."
He pauses, unsure how to explain it himself; he doesn't have many points of reference to use, not when all he knew his entire life is a void where others see shapes and colors instead. Sebastian once tried to explain to him that grass is green and the sky is blue, like it's the most natural and irrefutable concept their existance revolves around, but all Ominis could feel was inadequate. Too many words that for him held no meaning.
他停顿下来，自己也不知该如何解释；他缺乏可供参照的坐标，毕竟终其一生，他所知的只有虚无，而别人眼中却充斥着形状与色彩。塞巴斯蒂安曾试图向他解释草是绿的，天是蓝的，仿佛这是他们存在中最自然、最不容置疑的真理，但奥米尼斯只感到格格不入。太多词汇对他而言毫无意义。
"I can sense... edges." He says quietly. "I know there is something there even though I cannot see it. It's like casting an invisible net around me."
"我能感知...轮廓。"他轻声说。"虽然看不见，但我知道那里有东西。就像在周身撒开一张无形的网。"
"An invsible net?" Sebastian grins, his essay abandoned. "Like I'm what.. a Giant Squid?"
"无形的网？"塞巴斯蒂安咧嘴一笑，放下羊皮纸论文。"那我是什么...巨型乌贼吗？"
"You're a Giant Idiot, that's what you are."
"你是个十足的蠢货，真的。"
Sebastian snorts. These little jabs are never sharp; they come from a place of endearment and he's gotten used to Ominis's unconventional ways of showing affection. It's dawned on him, at some point, that he was scouring for scraps; Solomon Sallow was a cold, authoritarian figure, who never laid a hand on him out of neither love nor anger. Provoking his uncle only earned Sebastian a condemning look and a few patronizing words. Trying to earn his approval gave him absolutely nothing.
塞巴斯蒂安嗤之以鼻。这些小小的挖苦从来都不带刺；它们出自亲昵之情，他已经习惯了奥米尼斯这种不同寻常的表达感情的方式。不知从何时起，他意识到自己一直在乞求残羹冷炙——所罗门·萨洛是个冷酷专横的人，既不会出于爱也不会出于愤怒对他动手。激怒叔叔只会换来塞巴斯蒂安一个谴责的眼神和几句居高临下的话。试图赢得他的认可则什么也得不到。
Your parents were reckless, Solomon once told him. Sebastian had been only eight, crawling into his uncle's study with tears in his eyes and a skinned elbow, after falling out of the apple tree in the garden. And you are following in their footsteps.
你父母太鲁莽了，所罗门曾这样告诉他。那时塞巴斯蒂安才八岁，从花园的苹果树上摔下来，擦伤了手肘，含着眼泪爬进叔叔的书房。而你正在步他们的后尘。
He only wanted to take a closer look at the sparrow chicks crowded in a nest sitting on the upper branches.
他只是想近距离看看那些挤在上层枝桠鸟巢里的麻雀雏鸟。
"Do you ever wish things were different?" His voice lowers an octave and Ominis's enchanted quill stops mid-sentence.
"你有没有希望过事情能有所不同？"他的声音低了一个八度，奥米尼斯的魔法羽毛笔停在半空。
"Well.. of course." Ominis says, rubbing his chin. "Who would ever willingly choose this?"
"这个嘛...当然。"奥米尼斯摩挲着下巴说，"谁会自愿选择这种人生？"
"I mean.." The drawling is bidding him time, to either formulate a clear sentence or just drop the subject. He's been plagued by nightmares lately and they all ended with his parents lying on the floor in the cellar, eyes open and empty. "If you could go back in time and like, prevent yourself from being born.."
"我是说..."拖长的语调为他争取着时间，要么组织清晰语句，要么干脆放弃这个话题。最近噩梦一直困扰着他，每个梦境都以父母躺在酒窖地板上告终，睁着空洞的双眼。
Smoke wafts up from an extinguished candle, an acrid smell in Ominis's nostrils stirring up horrible memories. He slams the hatch down on his charging anger, bottling it for another time.
熄灭的蜡烛升起一缕青烟，刺鼻的气味钻入奥米尼斯的鼻腔，勾起可怕的回忆。他强行压下翻涌的怒火，将其封存起来等待下次爆发。
"I would rather not think that far." He speaks gingerly, as if the words themselves have the power to shatter his ribs as they come out. Sebastian returns to his essay and doesn't say anything else.
"我宁愿不去想那么远的事。"他小心翼翼地说，仿佛吐出的每个字都能震碎自己的肋骨。塞巴斯蒂安重新埋头写论文，再没开口。
**
"There," Ominis whispers, pointing his wand at a bare stretch of wall. Faint hisses behind the stone; a serpent's tongue licking the shell of his ear. Its pull is almost magnetic, calling out to him so fervently he doesn't know how he hasn't felt it before. Perhaps his subconscious had shut it down, the same way he deliberately revoked all that tied him to his cursed family tree. Sheer power of will, that must be it.
"就是这里，"奥米尼斯低语着，魔杖指向一片光秃秃的墙面。石块后方传来微弱的嘶嘶声，恍若蛇信轻舔他的耳廓。那股吸引力近乎磁力，如此热切地召唤着他，让他诧异自己为何从未察觉。或许潜意识早已将其屏蔽，就像他刻意斩断与那个被诅咒的家族血脉的所有联系那样——纯粹意志力的胜利，定是如此。
Behind him, Sebastian's eyes light up.
他身后，塞巴斯蒂安的双眼亮了起来。
"Have you found it?"
"你找到了？"
"I found something." He can't miss the bite in Ominis's tone.
"我发现了些东西。"奥米尼斯语气中的尖锐不容忽视。
"How many fucking chambers did Slytherin hide around this castle? This has to be it."
"斯莱特林到底在这城堡里藏了多少个密室？肯定就是这里了。"
Ominis could do without Sebastian's volatile temper. He can't go back to the days of having a target on his back, of walking on eggshells around the people he never chose to have in his life, keeping himself as small as the head of a pin just to avoid adding more scars to his psyche. He keeps his mouth closed and listens to the serpent's call; it grows eager, vying to be reawakened. It crawls through his veins like it belongs, its venom sour on Ominis's tongue.
奥米尼斯实在受够了塞巴斯蒂安的暴躁脾气。他再也不想回到那种如履薄冰的日子——被迫与那些本不该出现在生命中的人周旋，把自己缩得比针尖还小，只为了不让心灵再添新伤。他紧闭双唇，聆听着蛇语的召唤；那声音愈发急切，渴望着被重新唤醒。它如归巢般在他血管里游走，毒液在奥米尼斯舌尖泛起酸涩。
Yes, he whispers to himself. This is it.
没错，他轻声自语。就是这里。
He takes one step forward; Sebastian's presence closes in on him. He has to grasp his own hard-earned resistance with the tips of his fingers, dig his nails in to keep it from slipping away. The blood in his arteries sings; infused with Dark Magic, his ancestral line begs for the return of its prodigal son.
他向前迈出一步；塞巴斯蒂安的气息逼近。他必须用指尖攥紧自己来之不易的抵抗力，指甲深深掐进掌心才不至于让它溜走。动脉里的血液在歌唱；浸透着黑魔法的血脉正乞求浪子回头。
"Whoa.." Sebastian gasps. The silhouette of a door grows out of stone, a copper snake slipping from the grout, tinged a raw green with the ages. It bares its fangs at him, but when its snout raises, it catches a whiff of familiarity; Ominis's pounding heart. A nursing rhythm that tames its basic instincts.
"哇哦..."塞巴斯蒂安倒抽一口冷气。石墙上浮现出门的轮廓，一条铜蛇从灰浆中游出，经年累月泛着生涩的铜绿。它朝他龇出毒牙，但当蛇吻昂起时，却嗅到了熟悉的气息——奥米尼斯狂跳的心脏。那哺育般的律动驯服了它最原始的野性。
Open, Ominis snarls. Eyes two matte slits, the snake slithers aside; the door is a dark maw with jagged teeth, leading them down the throat of an ancient monster. Sebastian readies his wand, but Ominis steps through first.
“开。”奥米尼斯低吼道。蛇眼如两条无光的细缝，巨蛇蜿蜒退开；门扉化作参差獠牙的黑暗喉腔，引他们步入远古魔兽的食道。塞巴斯蒂安举起魔杖戒备，奥米尼斯却率先跨了进去。
A heavy hand resting on his shoulder stops him.
一只沉重的手搭在他肩上，止住了他的动作。
"What are you doing?" Sebastian asks. "I thought we agreed I'll go in alone."
“你在干什么？”塞巴斯蒂安问道，“不是说好我一个人进去的吗？”
"I'm not letting you go in alone. Maybe we still need Parseltongue."
"我不会让你一个人进去。也许我们还需要蛇佬腔。"
Ominis's clouded eyes are shifting back and forth. Sebastian never realized how cold the dungeons were, not until Ominis's skin singes his hand through his clothes. He wants to tighten his grip. Sink his fingers into the joint between his slender neck and his shoulder just to feel something other than budding despair.
奥米尼斯浑浊的眼珠来回转动着。塞巴斯蒂安从未意识到地牢竟如此阴冷，直到奥米尼斯隔着衣料灼伤了他的手掌。他想要收紧手指，将指尖陷入那纤细脖颈与肩膀的凹陷处，只为感受除初萌绝望之外的任何温度。
"Are you sure?" "你确定吗？"
"I am." Ominis responds. "Besides.."
“我是。”奥米尼斯回应道，“况且……”
"Besides what?" "除此之外呢？"
That sigh is a bad omen. Please don't start again, Sebastian begs. Not when he is so close.
那声叹息是个不祥之兆。塞巴斯蒂安暗自祈求，千万别又开始了。尤其在他离真相如此接近的时刻。
"I knew about the Scriptorium," Ominis says. His face contorts into a pained visage, as if confessing had been an insurmountable burden and he is wrecked by the aftermath. "My aunt disappeared trying to find it, she mentioned it in the last letter she sent to my fa- ow!"
"我知道那个抄经室，"奥米尼斯说道。他的面容扭曲成痛苦的模样，仿佛坦白这件事是种难以承受的重负，而他现在正被余波摧残。"我姑姑在寻找它的过程中失踪了，她在给父——哎哟！"
Sebastian's hand retreats abruptly; Ominis holds his shoulder, rubbing the spot where Sebastian viciously dug his fingers. He didn't mean to, he thinks, it was just an unconscious reaction.
塞巴斯蒂安的手猛地缩了回去；奥米尼斯按住自己的肩膀，揉搓着被对方手指狠狠掐入的位置。他不是有意的，他想，那只是无意识的反应。
"Is there anything else you have been keeping from me?"
"你还有什么事瞒着我吗？"
He surprises himself with the calmness of his voice. He should have been angry. Ominis constantly tripping him while he stumbles in the dark looking for the almost impossible has made him weary instead. He wants to grab Ominis again, fall to his knees in front of him and beg, beg from the bottom of his heart, please, no more lies.
他惊讶于自己声音的平静。他本该愤怒的。但奥米尼斯不断在他摸索于黑暗中寻找几乎不可能之物时绊倒他，反而让他感到疲惫。他想要再次抓住奥米尼斯，跪在他面前恳求，发自内心地乞求，求你了，别再撒谎了。
"No." Ominis says. He's a wounded bird with wet eyes and shaking limbs. "I have known for a while and I've been scared of what I would find out if I went looking for it. But that is all, Sebastian. I promise."
“不。”奥米尼斯说道。他像只受伤的鸟儿，眼眶湿润，四肢颤抖。“我早就知道了，只是一直害怕去追查真相。但仅此而已，塞巴斯蒂安。我保证。”
His promises have a tendency to mean nothing lately; the bitterness of disappointment is a taste Sebastian never wants to feel again, especially not coming from the man who was supposed to be his best friend. Ominis can't see his grimace but he steps aside when Sebastian starts to walk. He's still holding his shoulder, an intrinsic fear of pain wielding him like a marionette, to scurry away in the face of danger. Sebastian doesn't stop to check on him. The corridor beyond the door is lit by torches that burst into flames as they pass by; they light up for Ominis, not for him, but he pushes that thought aside. Ever since Anne got cursed, envy has been gnawing at the edges of his brain. Ominis's father would have never let someone who hurt his family walk away unscathed. The power, the resources, the little hidden talents that came with their descent, Sebastian would have used them all, if only they brought his sister back to him.
近来他的承诺总显得空洞无物；那种失望的苦涩滋味，塞巴斯蒂安再也不想品尝，尤其当这滋味来自本该是他挚友的人。奥米尼斯虽看不见他扭曲的表情，却在塞巴斯蒂安迈步时侧身让开。他仍捂着肩膀，对疼痛的本能恐惧像提线木偶般操纵着他，令他在危险面前仓皇退缩。塞巴斯蒂安没有驻足查看他的状况。门后的长廊被火炬照亮，火焰随着他们的经过骤然腾起；这些火把是为奥米尼斯而燃，并非为他，但他将这个念头抛诸脑后。自安妮遭受诅咒以来，嫉妒就像蚀骨的虫豸啃噬着他的理智。若是奥米尼斯的父亲，绝不会让伤害家族的人全身而退。那些权力、资源、随着血脉传承的隐秘天赋——只要能换回妹妹，塞巴斯蒂安定会不惜动用这一切。
And Ominis threw them all away for pride.
而奥米尼斯为了骄傲抛弃了这一切。
A sheet of parchment rustles underfoot; the tip of his shoe crinkles the page, spotted here and there with mold. He bends down to pick it up, the lit tip of his wand gliding down lines written in a tiny script.
一张羊皮纸在脚下沙沙作响；他的鞋尖将那页纸揉皱，纸上零星散布着霉斑。他弯腰拾起它，魔杖尖端的光芒沿着细密字迹缓缓游走。
"What's that?" Ominis asks.
“那是什么？”奥米尼斯问道。
"A handwritten note," Sebastian frowns. "There's more on the floor. It's.. oh.."
"一张手写的字条，"塞巴斯蒂安皱起眉头。"地上还有更多。这是...哦..."
He turns the page in his hands, studying the creases; water damage and bleeding ink, letters vining like spider legs across the parchment, fusing the lines together into an unreadable mess. But some parts are still intact.
他翻动手中书页，细察那些褶皱：水渍晕染的墨迹如蛛腿般在羊皮纸上蔓延，将字行粘连成无法辨认的混沌。但仍有部分段落完好可读。
"They're.. diary pages." He speaks carefully as Ominis draws closer. "Written by your aunt."
“这些是……日记页。”他小心翼翼地说道，奥米尼斯走近了些。“是你姑姑写的。”
The shadows around Ominis's face jump.
奥米尼斯脸上的阴影跳动了一下。
"What?" He stumbles forward, treading on more parchment, arm outstretched to snatch the prize from Sebastian's hands. He holds them out of reach. A sadistic voice inside his head tells him that Ominis doesn't deserve closure, not yet.
“什么？”他踉跄着向前，踩到更多羊皮纸，伸手想从塞巴斯蒂安手中夺过战利品。塞巴斯蒂安将东西举到他够不着的地方。一个残忍的声音在他脑海中低语：奥米尼斯还不配得到解脱，至少现在不行。
"What do they say?" Ominis insists. Mouth open, lips trembling. He's about to cry. Sebastian stifles the twinge in his chest, looking back at the pages.
“上面写了什么？”奥米尼斯坚持追问。他张着嘴，唇瓣颤抖，眼看就要哭出来。塞巴斯蒂安压下胸口的刺痛，重新看向那些书页。
"They've gotten wet, I can't read all of it. But it's her, I know it, she mentions your father."
“这些字迹被水浸湿了，我没法全部辨认。但就是她写的，我确定，里面提到了你父亲。”
A shiver runs through Ominis's body as his fingers finally close around the parchment; he strokes the paper as if he could absorb the words themselves and still his aching heart. Here, in the darkness spotted with rot and cold flames, his aunt had lived her final days.
奥米尼斯的指尖终于触碰到羊皮纸时，一阵战栗掠过全身；他轻抚纸页，仿佛能透过触摸吸收那些文字，平息内心灼痛。在这霉斑与冷焰点缀的黑暗中，他的姑母度过了生命最后的时光。
"Accio." Sebastian mumbles; the pages flutter, gather in his hand, and he presses them to Ominis's chest. Speckles of dust stick to Slytherin-green robes; Ominis clings to them like they're precious gold, a tear rolling down the cut of his slender nose.
"飞来。"塞巴斯蒂安低声念道；书页翻飞，聚拢在他掌心，他将它们按在奥米尼斯的胸前。细碎的尘埃沾在斯莱特林绿的袍子上；奥米尼斯紧攥着那些纸页，仿佛它们是珍贵的黄金，一滴泪水顺着他高挺鼻梁的弧度滑落。
"Here, I've gathered them all," Sebastian tells him. "We can try to read them all together once we're out of here."
"给，我都收集好了，"塞巴斯蒂安对他说，"等离开这儿后我们可以一起试着解读。"
He fears Ominis will turn on his heel and run, now that he's gotten what he wanted. He wipes his tears with his sleeve instead, the parchment safe in the pocket of his robe, and nods without saying a word. Sebastian is almost grateful Ominis doesn't speak. He woke up one night to Ominis crying, when they were in their second year. A winter chill in the air, prickling his skin. His head was spinning, and dinner had turned to acid in his stomach. The awful choking noises, the way Ominis's voice cracked as he apologized for waking him up, it all wedged a knot in Sebastian's throat.
他害怕奥米尼斯会转身就跑，既然已经得到了想要的东西。但奥米尼斯只是用袖子擦去泪水，羊皮纸安然躺在长袍口袋里，不发一言地点了点头。塞巴斯蒂安几乎感激他的沉默。二年级某个冬夜，他曾被奥米尼斯的啜泣惊醒。寒气渗入骨髓，晚餐在胃里灼烧成酸液。那些哽咽的抽泣，奥米尼斯为吵醒他而破碎的道歉声，像楔子般卡在塞巴斯蒂安的喉头。
The corridors twist and turn, a maze of stone and gnarly wet floors. "Be careful," he tells Ominis when his shoe slips on the foul smelling mud; Ominis's mind is no longer inside the catacombs. He's thinking further in the future, at the moment he will get to sit in a chair in the common room and leaf through his aunt's writings. He's idolized her without ever meeting her, an icon of virtue shining through the sins of his father; for a while he thought he might be just a ghost, a story his father had told him to frighten him into submission - look where going against me got her - but now he has irrefutable proof that she was once alive. And maybe.. just maybe, she still is.
走廊蜿蜒曲折，石墙与凹凸不平的潮湿地面构成迷宫。"当心，"他在奥米尼斯鞋子滑过散发恶臭的泥泞时提醒道；奥米尼斯的思绪早已不在墓穴之中。他正想着更远的未来，想着自己将坐在公共休息室的扶手椅上翻阅姑母手稿的时刻。他从未见过她，却将她奉若神明——那是穿透父亲罪孽的德行之光；有段时间他甚至怀疑她只是个幽灵，是父亲为恐吓他服从而编造的传说——看看违抗我的下场——但现在他手握铁证，证明她曾真实存在。或许...仅仅是或许，她依然活着。
Something crunches underneath the sole of Ominis's shoe.
奥米尼斯的鞋底传来咯吱一声脆响。
"What was that?" He asks; he feels splinters through the leather, crumbling to dust.
“那是什么？”他问道；皮革下的木屑在他指间碎裂成灰。
"Nothing," Sebastian says, averting his eyes. Piles of bones. Ribs cleaned of meat, clavicles exposed. Vertebrae scattered across the floor. "Just a rat skull."
"没什么，"塞巴斯蒂安移开视线说道。成堆的骸骨。剔净了肉的肋骨，裸露的锁骨。脊椎骨散落一地。"只是个老鼠头骨。"
At the end of the maze stands another door, blackened with a substance that writhes on its surface. Ominis hisses his commands but the sludge doesn't move. It pulsates, vined with a red glow like diseased flesh, eaten by plague.
迷宫尽头矗立着另一扇门，表面覆盖着某种蠕动的黑色物质。奥米尼斯嘶声发出指令，但那团黏液纹丝不动。它脉动着，泛着如染病血肉般的暗红微光，仿佛被瘟疫侵蚀的藤蔓。
"It's not working." Sebastian ponders. "I wonder.."
"这招不管用。"塞巴斯蒂安思索着。"我在想..."
"Don't do anything stupid." Ominis says, but Sebastian's fingers already sank into the tarry mass. He wrenches his hand back as if burned, whole body stiff.
"别干蠢事。"奥米尼斯说道，但塞巴斯蒂安的手指已经陷进了那团柏油般的物质里。他猛地抽回手，仿佛被烫伤般浑身僵硬。
"You did something stupid, didn’t you?"
"你又干了什么蠢事，对吧？"
Rolling his eyes, Sebastian holds his arm with his other hand. The pain traveled as a jolt through his nerves and now the bones throb dully in its wake, ending just above the elbow. He scoffs. Of course.
塞巴斯蒂安翻了个白眼，用另一只手握住自己的手臂。疼痛如电流般窜过神经，随后骨头开始隐隐作痛，痛感在肘关节上方戛然而止。他嗤笑一声——果然如此。
"I know what we have to do."
"我知道我们该做什么了。"
"Well don't keep me in suspense."
"别卖关子了。"
Ominis's sarcasm is rather refreshing.
奥米尼斯的讽刺倒是令人耳目一新。
"You have to cast the Cruciatus Curse on me."
"你必须对我施展钻心咒。"
The silence wrecks his second-long satisfaction; Sebastian hears the storm brewing before the first bolt of lightning strikes.
短暂的满足感在寂静中粉碎；塞巴斯蒂安听见风暴酝酿的轰鸣，早于第一道闪电劈落。
"No way." "不可能。"
"Way. We can't pass otherwise."
"必须这样。否则我们过不去。"
"Then we don't pass." Ominis's stubbornness rears its head. The ache boils Sebastian's bone marrow, radiating towards his heart. His patience finds an abrupt end and he whips around to face Ominis.
"那就别过去。"奥米尼斯的固执劲儿又上来了。这股执拗灼烧着塞巴斯蒂安的骨髓，直抵心脏。他的耐心突然耗尽，猛地转身面对奥米尼斯。
"I didn't come all this way to turn back now." He snaps. "If there is something inside the Scriptorium that can help Anne, I'm going to get it."
“我大老远跑来可不是为了现在打退堂鼓。”他厉声道，“如果密室里真有能救安妮的东西，我非拿到不可。”
"You've gone mad." "你疯了。"
Ominis's eyes are shadowed, yet Sebastian can't mistake the pity in them for something else.
"Get over yourself. It's just one time, and I'm asking you to."
"No."
He thinks he might rip his hair out in frustration. That he might put his hands around Ominis's neck and squeeze until there isn't an ounce of opposition left in his body.
"But.." Ominis continues, chewing at his lip. "I will let you cast it on me. I know you know how."
Ominis's hands tremble but his resolve is iron. Despite the searing desperation, Sebastian finds himself shaking his head.
"Don't be thick." Ominis says, his tone almost soft. The pages hidden in his robe scream at him to reconsider; it's the only way he won't besmirch his aunt's memory. Never shall that curse leave his lips again, but if Sebastian needs it he will bear the pain.
He draws closer, one hand wrapping around Sebastian's aching arm.
"I can take it." He says. Firm but gentle, just the way Sebastian knew Ominis for so long. "It's the only way we're moving forward."
Think of Anne, Sebastian tells himself. Ominis's touch reaches bone deep, wipes away the pain and leaves only a trace of warmth behind that Sebastian can't yet identify.
"Okay." He nods, fighting the urge to pull Ominis back to him when he steps away. It empties his lungs of air. In those two days that Ominis didn't speak to him, it was this kind of comfort that Sebastian unknowingly craved. To find that out so suddenly, while he has his wand pointed to Ominis's chest, fills his mouth with acrid bile.
"Crucio," he whispers, and Ominis's thin body folds in half.
**
The night before leaving for Hogwarts alone, Sebastian couldn't sleep. His uncle had taken Anne to St. Mungo's and didn't return; he left food for him on the table and a stern command to behave, one that promised consequences if not obeyed.
The candles in the kitchen still burn; he doesn't want to sit in the dark inside an empty house. The light gives him the illusion that someone had stayed behind to look out for him.
He has violet circles around his eyes when he reaches Hogwarts; he's never wanted to skip dinner and sink straight into his bed before, but now it's tempting him. The Great Hall is too loud. Too many people gathered all in one place, laughing, screaming, squeaking. Living their unburdened lives.
Ominis tries too hard to act like nothing has changed. He doesn't want to be a constant reminder that Anne is gone, but Sebastian finds that he doesn't mind acknowledging it. Things have changed. Holding onto a ruined past is like catching flames with his bare hands.
"You will have to draw me a map of all those quiet places you keep talking about."
Ominis laughs.
"Just stick with me," he says, poking at this pudding, "and you will be fine."