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Chapter Text

The sound of panting, no grunting and moaning was what greeted his first steps back to consciousness...

“Ah! Kakuzu... fuck... I think he’s...”

Then movement... jarring movement and pain mixed with bursts of mind-blowing pleasure as a strange, carnal heat pooled in his belly, making his toes curl...

“Shit... I just knew... he’d be... tighter when he was... awake...”

What?

What was?

“Aahhh!”

That was his voice, he was crying out; the movements were becoming faster, harder and then he became fully aware, as though he’d been struggling to swim beneath turbulent waters and had finally surfaced...

“Ugh! By Jashin-sama, I love hearing you scream like that... do it again... there...”

He was suspended in a hellish spider-web of strings, no, ligaments; his arms were stretched wide, fingers uselessly knotted whilst, his legs spread obscenely and completely naked, the two Akatsuki he’d been battling earlier violated him.

“Aaahhh!”

Threads of strangely pulsing, weirdly warm flesh laced his body and effectively kept him in place; smirking garishly, his hands cruelly clutching the jonin’s hips, Hidan couldn’t stop the delighted noises spilling out of his throat as continued to push into the tight, deliciously hot channel whilst his partner took him from behind.

“Hai, hai... that’s it... ugh! Kakuzu... fuck me deeper! I want to see his face when we... we make him cum!”

Screwing his open eye shut (the lid cupping the Sharingan unresponsive, sealed), Kakashi tried his best to struggle as a thick, long shaft thrust inside of his desperately clenching passage; oh God, he didn’t want to enjoy it but every time that hardened member slammed into him a lightning strike of pleasure bolted through him, making him cry out.

“T-touch him, g-go on Kakuzu... he’s close...”

“Nngghhh! No... no! Stop!!”

He’d never been so conflicted and ashamed; he’d spent every day since he was three training his body to resist and cope with pain...

“Umm... he looks good... hurry and finish... I want my turn...”

But, as it’d turned out, starving himself of human touch and pleasure beyond his beloved books was a weakness he’d borne in himself, and now he was paying for it...

“Gah! That’s it... jerk him off... jerk him hard!”

The feeling of rough, battle calloused fingers clenching his straining erection and tugging had his back arching against his will; after five firm, strangling pulls (coupled with Hidan’s relentless thrusting) Kakashi came, his cry morphing into a scream when the scythe wielder slammed home and buried his teeth into the curve where neck met shoulder.

Writhing weakly, the Konoha shinobi struggled to stay composed as the pair atop him continued to rock and groan until the eerily green eyed male finished with a satisfied grunt; “umm... you taste just as good as you look, ‘Kashi-kun...”

Snarling, his head desperately trying to move away from the lips that were inching up his neck, to his jaw-line and higher, the thirty-three year old hissed angrily when teeth began to nibble on his earlobe whilst those same, nail-varnished hands that’d bruised his hips moved down to squeeze his ass.

“Get off of me!” he spat, his mask-less face still pinked with afterglow and outrage; “y-you bastards... cut me down and fight me like men!”

“Mmm-hmm-hmm... maa, but ‘Kashi-kun, it’s so much better to fuck you like men...” Hidan all but purred through a sigh before, with an indignant squawk, he was rudely pushed to the side (his semi-hard length coming free with a wet pop) to fall into his own web of tangles. And, in the wake of his flailing arms, Kakashi barely had a chance to register Kakuzu resting between his legs until it was too late; the beast of man (sewn into a more human-like shape) chuckled at what he knew to be a shocked expression.

“Oi! Kakuzu! What the fuck, man?”

“I warned you that I was becoming impatient... and you only have yourself to blame for making him sound so...” he murmured, his gaze returning to the alabaster shinobi whilst his left hand cupped that handsome jaw-line and forced the younger man to look at him; “appealing...”

“Don’t!!”

“Heh...”

“Ahh!”

Gods, and he’d thought that Hidan’s shaft had been hard to take...

“Maa~ Kakuzu, you like my idea well enough now, don’t you, neh?”

Biting down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from making any more noise, Kakashi struggled to adjust to the sudden, blistering sensation of being so widely stretched; whatever lube had been used on him prior was of little help as he failed to stop his muscles from clenching and spasming whilst he writhed under the heavy weight pushing on and inside him.

“Mmmh... I hadn’t thought... I’d find a more suitable body than yours... Hidan...”

“Meh, just remember that we’re sharing... you know how I like to covet the toys Jashin-sama blesses me with” the (now casually reclining) crimson eyed shinobi reminded with a pout before a smirk stretched his lips. “You’re lucky that I enjoy taking cock as much as I like to give it...” he purred before reaching down to begin playing with himself; “I want to see you fuck him, Kakuzu... fuck him hard and make him scream so Jashin-sama can hear him being put to good use...”

“I-I won’t... let... you get... away with this...”

“Ha! That’s the spirit! Jashin-sama loves crushing those who spit at the winds of fate” Hidan chuckled before, with a growl, the other Akatsuki member began his turn, his living strings helping to angle and secure Kakashi so that the struggling ninja’s legs were bracketed on his shoulders, ensuring he could push into the quaking male as deeply as possible.

“Ahh... ahh... ahh....”

The pace was slow and controlled, deliberate; the straining member (pulsing, thick and hard) surged inside before almost withdrawing even as the scent of cum and blood tinged the air whilst the Konoha jonin could only bite his lip and try not to enjoy the consistent, expert hits against his prostate by that thick, blunt head.

He needed to a way out; surely they couldn’t have known about the incendiary lodged at the back of his mouth, the one he’d promised to keep even after officially retiring from ANBU...

“Oi-oi! Ha! Oh this is fucking priceless... Kakuzu, look, just fucking look...” Hidan laughed, his words snapping Kakashi out of his plan when the pale haired missing-nin nodded to the ground of the giant, hollowed out tree they were inhabiting.

“The fat boy is crying his eyes out like some little bitch” the fiend sneered; at the utterance, his eye widening and body jarring in shock, the last Hatake felt everything slow down and grey-out when the three huddled figures, cocooned in twitching fibres, entered his line of sight.

“Ha! That is so pathetic... don’t they teach you about crying in your Village? Ha! What a mess... heh, not as disgusting as that blonde skank though... you know, I was thinking of maybe fucking her later but that cheap piece of ass has probably had whole ANBU squads dicking around in her watery-hole” he added, his eyes slanting to the final, unconscious body. “Maa... that one’s a great bet for a good time though, I’m sure he’s pretty cute with his hair down...”

“No!! Don’t you touch them... you... Aaahhhh!!”

Chuckling, his stitched mouth stretching into a grim parody of a smile, Kakuzu started his assault in earnest, his right hand fisting in the younger man’s hair whilst bracing the other’s back to assist in keeping the straining male exactly where he wanted him.

“Make sure... that we’re... satisfied... and we won’t need... to touch them, will we?” he grunted, his words broken by the deep, firm thrusts of his shaft within the scorching heat their captive provided, his eyes rolling when, after angling to hit the prostate, the Konoha shinobi clenched down with a cry.

Hissing with the conflicting sensations rippling through his form, the feeling of sharp, polished nails scraping across his scalp a prickly contrast to the burning stretch and tingling pleasure radiating from his core, Kakashi could only keen and writhe in time with the pounding he was receiving.

Oh, how he wanted to hate that exquisite feeling as much as the situation, the Akatsuki and himself...

“Aaahhhh!”

“O-o-ohhh... he’s getting close again... maa~ you look so good on him, Kakuzu... heh... here, let me get him off...”

“N-no! G-get off of me-e”

“Wooh... you’re so feisty ‘Kashi-kun... let’s see if I can’t... make you feel a bit better, hmm?”

Snarling, his trapped, flagging length somehow grabbed by a keen hand that managed to jam between his sweat-slicked, washboard-stomach and the (now almost desperately) thrusting Akatsuki, the last Hatake couldn’t control his moaned breaths as he drew closer to what he knew to be an orgasm. Especially now that those living cords were rubbing against his pert nipples and the pace was so fast, the pleasure maddening, until...

“Aaahhhhh!”

“Nnnggghhh!!”

Panting through his exhaustion, the feel of Kakuzu emptying into him making him shudder despite the excess of heat roiling through his system, Kakashi struggled not to hiss when the older man pulled himself free; sweat and other fluids dripped off him in the eerie, pseudo silence that echoed around the decaying trunk.

“Mmm, wasn’t that fun, neh?”

Scowling, his storm grey eye narrowing on the reclining cultist who was (slowly, lazily) licking his soiled fingers with a smirk tilting his lips, the Konoha ninja tried (once more) to tug his arms free only to still when the darker-skinned immortal purposefully laid tented fingers and a firm palm over his heart.

Below them, he could almost hear Asuma’s team screaming...

“Eh? Oh, come on Kakuzu... you’re not going to kill him now, are you?”

“Hidan...”

“No, no, no... just hear me out” the other immortal close to whined, his form bouncing on the living threads like an excited dog awaiting its dinner; “if we break his arms he won’t be any trouble and, if you’re getting ancy (”Hidan”) about only having the one heart, well, just take theirs for now and I promise to help you get...”

“No! You leave them the hell alone...”

“Nah? And why, exactly, should we do that?” the crimson eyed shinobi asked, his head cocking to the side as he grinned; “do you have a counter offer, ‘Kashi-kun?”

Huffing, his eye critically slanting from one Akatsuki to the other, Kakashi knew what he had to do.

“In exchange for sparing their lives and letting them leave this place with no further harm, I promise to follow your every order without question” he began, his frown firming when Kakuzu snorted. “And the only way that I can validate this promise and to satisfy you, is for me to become a missing-nin... not that I’m offering my allegiance to the Akatsuki and whether you’re boss would want me is, of course, an entirely different matter” he added, his glare narrowing further. “However, I have been in ANBU since I was fourteen and know secrets about the Village that few people could ever hope to learn... that, combined with the Sharingan should see my bounty sky-rocket...”

“Ooohhhh, he’s got you there, Kakuzu... how much is he worth now?”

“Twenty times more than Sarutobi...” the heart-stealer breathed, his tone slacked in awe until, a truly terrible smirk slanting his lips, the money-lover chuckled and leaned back to observe the man he’d ensnared; “well I’ll be damned, it would appear as though I’ve greatly underestimated you, Hatake” he admitted. “And when Hidan gets bored of playing with you?”

“No resistance” the other returned with a light shrug; “you can take my heart for its lightning affinity and cash-in what’s left” he stated before nodding back down to Team Ten. “We’re only a few hours away from the Village and, given Tsunade-sama’s position, I’d expect to see an updated version of our Bingo-Book released before the end of the week... that is, of course, if you let the kids go before sun-set” he furthered meaningfully, his eye half-closing in a bored expression as Hidan laughed and Kakuzu began retracting his strings.

“You hear that, gaki-tachi? You better help your precious Kaka-sensei keep his word or he’ll be sent to serve Jashin-sama sooner rather than later, you got it?”

Chapter Text

Surprisingly, it’d been Ino who had begun the tale in a fit of broken whispers and screams...

”He surrendered... in... in exchange for our lives... and... and then that creature slammed him into the ground... so hard... I thought... I thought that they’d killed him... and... that’s when he started shredding his shirt o-off... then the strings, those hideous strings started to...”

It had been horrifying to hear... and worse still to think about...

”B-but... b-before he could... rip Kaka-sensei’s heart out... the bastard who... who killed A-Asuma-sensei.... he... he stopped him and said... said... he was too... too pretty not to... fuck first...”

Chouji had joined in then, his babbled words laced with horror, his hands covering his face whilst Shikamaru (all but catatonic) just blinked down at the carpet; he’d been knocked unconscious in an attempt to separate the Akatsuki members and had only awoken when the deal had been struck.

”He... he was going to... to hurt me too... he called me... a... a skank and threatened to... do that to him and to take... take our hearts but Kaka-sensei... he... managed to...”

Of course he did...

Closing her eyes and raising a hand for silence, the Godaime suppressed her rage, her hurt, her needto move by simply saying: “Naruto must not be told...”

Hatake Kakashi, S-Rank Jonin, former ANBU Taichou, an honourable man and a treasured friend reduced to little more than a plaything for two (allegedly) immortal sadists; she knew him to well to hope that he’d betray his valiant nature and activate the incendiary as, alive, her Special Ops would have a better chance of tracking the Akatsuki...

“But... Tsunade-sama...”

Just another sacrifice on his part for the safe-keeping of the Village and the precious people he would endure such torment to protect...

Growling, her fists slamming onto the desk, the Hokage stood, her expression furious; “he will not be told, say it!”

Swallowing, the chunnin once again on the verge of tears whilst Tenzou (and the members of ANBU who’d encountered and escorted the remains of Team Asuma back to the Village Proper from where they were discovered in the borderlands) stiffened minutely even as Shizune paled.

“He will not be told, Hokage-sama” the current leader of Team Kakashi voiced, his large, void-like eyes sliding to observe the young (not as young as he’d been, nowhere near as young as senpai when they’d had to deal with such traumatic events) ninjas. The poor things (mud-strewn, clothes-torn, cheeks streaked with tears), after an initial medical assessment by the Special Ops, had been brought to the Office under a cloak; not even their families knew of their return.

“Good” the blonde breathed, her aura settling down as she all but slumped back into her chair; “the last thing we need is him chasing after them...” she added, her rage leeching away in the wake of this new, awful reality.

“T-tsunde-sama... I... I really want to... to go home” Ino breathed whilst clutching the covering her guard had draped across her shoulders tighter; “ano... I... I can’t be... a kunoichi... not anymore... not after... not when Kakashi-sensei is...”

Sighing, her honeyed eyes softening a fraction, the Senju-hime flicked a glance at the ANBU nearest the chunnin before gesturing at the long sofa to the side of her desk; they followed their guides’ movements numbly. Not that keeping them here was proving fruitful; Chouji stuttered too much to be of any real use, Ino refused to part with the cape she’d been given and Shikamaru looked as though the world was ending...

And with Kakashi in the hands of two deranged Akatsuki, for all they knew, that very well could be the case.

“We will have your fathers briefed when we send for them to collect you” the Hokage stated, her voice firm but not unkind; “however, this is a very sensitive issue and when I tell you that you’re under house-confinement until I say otherwise, I expect you to follow that order, do you understand?”

“H-hai” Ino murmured whilst the boys merely nodded their acceptance.

“Good... now, Shizune, contact the scribes and tell them to prepare for a new entry...”

“No!”

Blinking, the room collectively turning to a suddenly animated, mortified Chouji, Neko moved swiftly to place a firm hand on his shoulder, keeping him seated whilst he wriggled and squirmed as though recaptured by the strings he’d close to wailed about when they’d been found.

“Oi! Calm down or I’ll have you sedated...”

“Then sedate me! But please, please Tsunade-sama, please don’t put him in the Bingo-book! They’ll kill him... and take his body... they’ll do... they’ll” he sobbed, his wide form trembling as Ino broke into a fresh set of tears.

“Chouji” Tenzou found himself breathing, a calm, detached persona wrapping around him with all the comfort and familiarity of a lover; “Hokage-sama does not have a choice here and, speaking as someone who knows him, I can promise you that this is what Kakashi would want...”

“You can’t know that” Shikamaru whispered brokenly; “if he’s in the Bingo-book then every ninja who is jonin rank and higher will be ordered to assassinate him on sight and every chunnin rank and lower will be made aware” he continued, his eyes screwing shut, as though deeply pained. “After all those years of service, after all of the sacrifices he must have made he... he threw it all... all away... for us... for me and my s-stupid... stupid plan...”

“Yes, he did” Tsunade replied, her tone cutting through the sniffles of the young people she felt her ire rising against. “He came to me, he knew that you wouldn’t be able to let Asuma’s killers get away and even though I’d expressly forbid it, you went anyway” she close to snapped, her hands balling into fists despite Shizune placing a calming hand upon her forearm whilst Tonton snuffled sadly.

“Your plan was stupid and foolhardy and brash” she continued, her voice straining; “and now one of my best ninja, one of my friends has become the one thing I swore I’d protect him from becoming if I could... But now, thanks to you, he will become a pariah like his father should he survive this ordeal and, worse still, he is already a hostage to a pair of deviants whom even my best trackers are struggling to find...”

“Tsunade-sama...”

“The scribes, Shizune.”

“Hai” her apprentice replied with a stiff bow; “I’ll go at once...”

“B-but...”

“No Akimichi” she warned, her tone leaving no room for argument; “from this day forward, until he can either be returned to Konoha or eliminated, Hatake Kakashi is a missing-nin” she stated firmly. “Ensure that his bounty is increased ten-fold but do not have him cited as a member of the Akatsuki” she instructed, her furrowed brows quivering. “When they’re dispatched, all Konoha licensed copies are to feature an addendum calling for him to be captured alive, if possible, and that Uzumaki Naruto is not to be informed of his status or the situation surrounding his defection” she finished, her eyes re-narrowing on the chunnin.

“Let this be a lesson to you” she warned, her beautiful face creased with a scowl; “I am the Hokage for a reason... my decisions are made for the protection and betterment of this Village, the whole Village” she pressed, their collective faces whitening in shame. “Therefore, should I hear of any one of you disrespecting or refusing to follow an order of mine again, then you will be facing time in Ibiki’s cells and not the comfort of your own homes”.

Nodding their understanding, Tsunade turned to Kame Taichou; “take them to the ANBU medical unit and have them cleaned up” she said, her gaze then flicking to Neko: “inform their fathers, de-brief them in Inoichi’s interrogation room and, after these chunnin are returned home, tell them to report to me” she ordered.

“I have a mission for them...”

Chapter Text

“I can walk, you know...”

Snorting, the cords he was using to keep their captive restricted tightening in warning, Kakuzu continued his leaping through the dense forest on their road back to Ame, his eyes narrowing a little; “I never have this much trouble carrying corpses” he grumbled, his words causing Hidan to laugh as he swung past them.

“Mataku, why are you so grumpy? ‘Kashi-kun isn’t any bother... hell, and you’ve carried guys treble his size for longer journeys than this” the red eyed missing nin reminded, his gaze sweeping over the nonplussed Hatake who was distractingly naked beneath the borrowed Akatsuki coat the thread wielder had insisted he wear.

(“If he isn’t covered then you will keep wanting to stop to enjoy yourself and we have a deadline to meet...”)

“That’s not the point nor is it the problem” the money-hoarder responded through a grunt; “this is a bad idea...”

“No, this is a fantastic idea” Hidan countered, a grin splitting his face; “you’ll feel a whole lot better when we get home, you’ll see... maa~ I already know exactly where I want to put him for when we’re out...”

Tuning out of the conversation (being spoken about as though you were a piece of furniture in need of effective placement or a pet would only make the journey more unbearable, after all), Kakashi directed his singular eye (the Sharingan still sealed and hidden behind a scratched hitai-ate) at the trees that blurred past.

Being attached to Kakuzu’s shoulders via threads which effectively cocooned him from the neck down (the older man’s fist still clutched the collar of the coat, his coat, near the nape of the younger man’s neck), Kakashi found himself almost grateful to be carried and facing the way that they’d come instead of looking ahead.

It at least meant that he didn’t have to constantly see Hidan’s leers or just how far out of Fire Country they were travelling and, not that he’d ever admit it, but his body needed the rest after the fight he’d endured and everything after.

For all he knew, he may have been inadvertently lying when he said that he could walk...

“Oh come on, just one night won’t hurt! It’s getting dark and I’m starving so you must be, too!”

Blinking, the small knot of worry that’d been consistently building since he’d been hoisted onto the Akatsuki’s back instantly doubling in size, Kakashi managed to contain his grunt when Kakuzu came to a swift, jarring stop by dropping from the canopy to the ground.

“If we keep going through the night...”

“Ugh! We’ll still be days away from the Compound and we don’t need to report until the end of the week, anyway” Hidan cut in, his tone just the wrong side of petulant; “how can I thoroughly serve Jashin-sama, you and the cause if I’m exhausted, ah?”

Snorting, the green eyed heart-stealer felt (despite himself) his unseen lips (the mask he’d had purpose built to conceal his true nature from unsuspecting victims still firmly in place) twitch into a wry smile before nodding to where he knew a fish harbouring river to be and began walking towards it after his partner ‘whooped’.

“Maa~ Kakuzu, you’re...”

“Expecting to be fully reimbursed for this wasted time, reimbursed by the both of you” he interrupted whilst Kakashi sighed and Hidan chuckled.

“Of course, of course” the cultist soothed; “I’ll go on ahead and place some wards around while you two get settled” he added with a wink, his legs kicking back up to the branches with a few well placed rebounds off of the closest tree-trunks, his scythe jangling as he went.

“I’m putting you down... try anything and you’ll regret it” the oldest of the trio stated, his strings retracting to allow Kakashi (a surprisingly gentle) release; standing, his battle-worn sandals still serviceable, the last Hatake rolled his shoulders before turning to observe his captor, his expression (hopefully) bland.

“I gave you my word” he said with a shrug; “I know that might not mean too much to some, but it does to me...”

“Heh, come off it, you’re planning something” the former Takigakure nin snorted, that eerie gaze narrowing; “however, I think you’ll find pulling off any kind of plan will be impossible if you’re paralyzed from the waist down, so just you bear that in mind” he added, his left hand rising to display a plethora of snaking tendrils slashing out from beneath his skin.

Raising his own hands in a universal gesture of surrender, Kakashi only allowed a small frown to grace his exposed lips when the other turned and beckoned him to follow; from what he knew of the immortal walking him through the wild shrubs, the threat he’d just been given was more of a promise.

Him being virtually helpless would probably make life easier for both of the Akatsuki members, after all, and so Kakashi carefully put all thoughts of being subversive aside and focused on appearing passive whilst gleaning any information he could.

If they did take him to one of their bases and he was physically able then, with any luck, he could escape and get that vital intel back to the Village; from what Hidan had said only moments ago, it was, at least, possible he’d make it to their lair alive.

And speaking of Hidan...

“Oooh! What fantastic reflexes” the fiend called, his scythe slicing into the ground where the last Hatake had stood just seconds ago; “no wonder you’re such a good fuck!” he furthered, a pink tongue flicking out to wet his lips as he advanced, the deadly weapon poised and slashing.

Grunting (the few hours respite he’d been granted during their journey not nearly enough to help him secure a victory), the Konoha nin focused on avoidance whilst keeping an eye on where Kakuzu was; the last thing he needed was to be ambushed, especially now that they’d cleared the trees and were skittering across the coarse shale which lined a wide, shimmering river.

Getting knocked into the grit and dirt would only agitate his wounds and do little to ease his fractured ribs and sprained limbs.

“Ya-hoo! That a boy! Make me work for it!”

Glaring, his hands weaving through a series of complex signs, Kakashi skated across the river’s surface just as the huge, powerful blast of water rose up like a great dragon and roared its way towards a grinning Hidan.

“Ha! That’s adorable!” the Yugakure defector cooed, his grin slanting into a smirk when, with a howl, he cut through the attack (far weaker than what it should be thanks to his chakra depletion, no doubt), snagged his new toy by the throat and ploughed them into the water with a giant splash.

Choking (and trying not to let the air rush out of his lungs as the fresh water attempted to gush in), Kakashi desperately tried to pry the hand from around his neck but was finding his efforts hopeless as those cruel fingers simply continued to tighten, the fiend’s face alight with manic joy. It was only when he started to black out that he found oxygen in plentiful supply, his body airborne for what felt like minutes but could only have been seconds until he hit the ground with a pained wheeze, his mouth gasping for air until a hungry pair of lips stole the breath back out again.

Growling angrily, Hidan’s weight planted firmly across his (thankfully) closed thighs whilst stronger, uninjured fingers gripped his wrists and pushed them into the gravel, Kakashi found himself completely subdued and helpless against the tongue filling his mouth.

A part of him was screaming that he should bite down on the damned thing; sure, he’d be dead within a minute, of course, but it might just be worth it...

“Oi, when you said you were starving, I took you at your word...”

Gasping, the other shinobi’s presence having been suddenly removed, the last Hatake was quick to sit up, his left hand rubbing at the new bruises across his neck as he wiped his mouth with the right; next to him, his face furious, Hidan was suspended in a web of strings whilst Kakuzu looked on from a few metres away, his arm distended whilst a fire crackled at his feet.

“Hey! Put me the fuck down, you bastard! I was eating, you jerk!”

“You’re the one who demanded that we stop and I am still waiting for my payment” the older returned, his threads flicking the squawking cultist back into the water with a dark, pleased chuckle; “you’ll not be eating him before I’m fed, now cool off and go fetch more wood... the fish I’ve caught aren’t going to cook themselves” he added, his tone leaving no room for argument.

“Ugh! Fine!” the crimson eyed male groaned, his soaked pants clinging to him as he trudged out of the water, his scythe clacking in the wake of his jerky movements; “but just for that, I’m not going to blow you for at least a week!” he warned, his face warped with displeasure as he stormed up to Kakashi, his hand going to grab him...

“Leave him...”

“Aww, what?!”

“You heard me” the Takigakure defector stated; “firewood, now.”

“But he looks so cute with his hair down, wet and all jaggy like that!” the other whined, his pout becoming more pronounced before he sighed, spared the Konoha ninja a look of longing before marching (in a huff) back into the tree-line, his weapon already brandished and hacking angrily at the undergrowth.

Watching him go, his body relaxing minutely, Kakashi pulled himself up and, with a grunt, popped his shoulder back into its socket and walked towards the fire, his grey eye shifting to the blackening sky; if every day of captivity was going to be like this, he thought, then maybe meeting up with his Team and father sooner then he’d planned wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Chapter Text

“As I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, Naruto’s generation are exceptionally close...”

Now wasn’t that an understatement.

“And that is why what they’re told needs to be consistent and only brought up if any of them were to ask you directly...”

This, Tenzo felt, the twitching of the body next to him definitely a precursor to some sort of outburst, was not going to go down well.

“Tsunade-sama” Gai began, his other side flanked by a determined looking Raidou and Genma; “please, we would like to volunteer as his handlers whilst he...”

“No” the Hokage-cut off, her gaze flitting around the room full of jonin and Kakashi’s closest compatriots; “ANBU are dealing with this issue...”

“But what exactly is the issue?” Konoha’s beautiful-green-beast asked, his question blurted as his nervous energy doubled; “please, I don’t mean to be rude, but Kakashi retired from active ANBU service years ago and gathering us here like this and telling us that he has merely gone undercover for an extended mission is...”

“What you will tell your students, what Naruto in particular must believe, he and Haruno Sakura both” the blonde cut in, her eyes landing on Sai who (despite his years in Root) blinked under the scrutiny; “everything else I’m about to tell you is to be treated as S+ level knowledge; should anyone break the rules of holding this rank of information you will be prosecuted, do you all understand?”

“Hai” the assembled ninja chorused.

“Good” she breathed, her eyes momentarily closing; “then our situation is as follows... Hatake Kakashi has been compromised and is, from now on, to be considered a nukenin...”

“What?!”

“Impossible!”

“There’s no way!”

“You can’t be serious!”

“No... my eternal rival would never~!”

“Silence!”

Snapping their collective jaws shut, the group of jonin stood at attention whilst a wave of lethal aura swamped the room; the Sanin had clearly been expecting the outburst but, just as Tenzo thought, the men his senpai considered to be comrades (many of whom were former class-mates) could not settle for such a sparse explanation.

“When you leave the Office Tori and Inu will provide you with an updated Bing-book... we have provided this version to you and to our allies in Suna; however, for all other Villages, the entry will be standard for a shinobi of his rank, experience and dojutsu” she continued, her gaze narrowing when Gai tried to talk again. “This being said, should you at any point in the near future encounter him then of course I want him returned to the Village...”

“Wait...” Ebisu breathed; “return him? So he has not defected of his own free will?”

“Of course he hasn’t!” Gai close to snarled; “Tsunade-sama! Please, we need to know what’s happened...”

“No Gai, you only need to know what I tell you” was the answer, her tone leaving no room for argument; “you must trust me when I say that you cannot be privy to the details and that too much hinges on your discretion in this manner” she added, her tone softening when the man deflated, his face slackened with a worry which was mirrored around the room.

“First Asuma and now this...” Genma sighed, his voice peppered with suspicion; “Hokage-sama, can we take it that the Akatsuki are involved?”

“Yes you can” she stated with a nod; “and finding, apprehending or eliminating any member of that organization within our borders or otherwise is still our number one priority” she said, her attention turning back to Sai as Tenzou placed a calming hand upon his shoulder.

“As Naruto’s teammate I am entrusting you with the additional task of distracting him and diverting his interest away from Kakashi’s whereabouts... both you and Yamato Taichou need to keep him focused on the training he began last week and are to ensure that he’s safe until Jiraiya returns to the Village” she instructed. “At this moment, protecting him and preparing him to use the Nine-tails’ chakra effectively is something that I want all jonin who aren’t currently involved in long-term missions to be a part of and, whether you agree with my decision or not, I believe that keeping him in the dark about his teacher’s whereabouts is the best way forward” she sighed, her features softening.

“Please know that I give these orders as Godaime and not as someone deeply concerned about the welfare of a treasured friend and valued ally; however, in times like these and with such a destructive threat on the rise I must prioritise the Village over any personal feelings I have...” she furthered, her arms unfolding whilst she turned her chair to face the windows and the star scattered sky.

“I am expecting the rest of you to do the same... you are dismissed...”

Collectively bowing before filing out, their hands grimly accepting the books being distributed by the ANBU stationed at Tsunade’s door, Yamato tried to offer Sai a smile before, much to their shared surprise, Genma and Raidou were at his elbows, their faces pleasant whilst Gai beamed at them in his usual, enthusiastic way.

“It’s on nights like this that the spirit of youth blossoms under the shine of friendship and good sake” the taijutsu specialist announced before giving an incredibly perplexed Sai a thumbs up; “and you, my spritely friend, no doubt have other matters to see to, hmm?”

“I...”

“Sai, why don’t you go and make sure that Iruka-sensei and Naruto-kun have enough money for an extra bowl of ramen, okay?” Tenzo said, his smile equally pleasant whilst he fished his wallet out of the flack-jacket he wore and handed over a healthy wad of ryo. “And don’t forget to treat yourself, as well... ah, tell them that we’ll catch up tomorrow and apologise for my absence, alright?”

“Hai” the palest of the group responded, his dark gaze flitting around the adults before making his leave at a faster pace than their sedate amble.

Watching the Root operative go, the mokuton user sighed and allowed himself to be pulled down the corridor; “where are we going?”

“It’s probably best that you don’t know” Genma said airily, his senbon twirling in what many would assume to be a playful gesture.

“But you know that I can’t...”

“Ah, ah, ah...” Raidou chided, their bodies coming to a stop by an open window; “Tsunade-sama only said that we couldn’t speak about his status or make it public knowledge... I’m sure that she hasn’t explicitly told you not to tell us...”

“And what makes you think that I know anything more than you do... wah!”

Blinking, his expression morphing from shock to genuine fear, Tenzo locked gazes with Maito Gai as he clutched the collar of his top; “I can smell it on you, that’s how” he breathed, an intensity that few would have thought him capable of manifesting over his features.

“He may be your senpai but he was our friend long before he met you and I would not be the man I am today without him so, when I tell you that you’re going to give us information, that’s exactly what you’re going to do” he stated, his tone serious and determined.

“Now come on, that sake isn’t going to drink itself...”

Chapter Text

“No way, you’re shitting me!”

Throwing his fish bones into the fire, his steel-grey eye still trained on Hidan, Kakashi simply offered a shrug; “I’m a busy guy so I don’t really have the time” he said flatly, his stomach (uneasy as it was) thankfully full (which greatly surprised him; surely keeping him starved would see him weaker and more sedate?).

This possibly meant that he was being underestimated which, in time, should definitely work in his favour; it didn’t hurt that the crimson eyed missing-nin was so interested in idle chat, either, especially if it awoke some kind of empathy within the man.

“That’s pathetic, ‘Kashi-kun.”

However, that seemed incredibly unlikely.

“Oh wait, don’t tell me it’s because you’re one of those closet romantics, that’s it, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s the reason, I fucking knew it!”

Blinking (the need to shake his head or face-palm growing by the second), the Konoha shinobi simply shrugged instead; “believe what you want” he offered, his expression bland. “I’ve been in active service since I was six so being around civilians isn’t something I’m used to and having relationships with other ninja outside of missions and team-work just never happened for me” he added, his eye narrowed. “That and, more often than not, I’m sent on solo missions so...”

“So... you and that blue beast guy have never...”

Snapping his head up at speed (he was surprised he didn’t pull something) his face must have betrayed him (God, how he missed his mask; he could never marshal his features in the way his compatriots could and being without it did little to help his over-active sense of smell) because Hidan erupted into a fit of laughter so strong he fell backwards and off the log he sat on.

“O-oh! By Jashin-sama! T-that... that look... oh! It’s priceless” he tittered whilst wiping his eyes and righting himself as Kakuzu continued to watch him with that unnerving, unwavering stare; “ugh! Well, I suppose that’s a relief... I hear that he’s fugly as sin...”

“He’s an excellent shinobi and a true friend” Kakashi cut in, his tone biting.

“Heh, well I wouldn’t trust that to save you when your Hokage gets her new Bingo-book out” the more talkative of the Akatsuki chuckled, a cruel smile tilting his lips; “your Village doesn’t take kindly to traitors or people who ah, break the rules now, does it?”

Blinking, the last Hatake felt everything slow down and grey out as it had done that morning, his whole body stiffening when the other’s smile deepened and quirked; “tell me, is it true that you found him with his guts hanging out or did he at least have the decency to keep his corpse intact?”

Swallowing, his mind moving too rapidly and too slowly at the same time, Kakashi allowed the same detachment he wore during ANBU assassinations to cloak him, a grim grin of his own forming (much to Hidan’s continued amusement).

“No, the wound wasn’t deep enough to allow his intestines to hang out” he said, his voice a strange contrast to the thudding in his ears; “he wanted to suffer for longer, to properly atone for the sins laid on his shoulders” he added dully. “Chichi-ue was traditional like that.”

“Ha! What a moron, punking out is such a stupid thing to do, may Jashin-sama break his soul” the Yugakure defector snorted; “what did he do that was so bad, anyway?”

“He failed to complete a mission in favour of saving the lives of his friends” the silver haired ninja replied; “I didn’t understand it at the time... well, not until the bricks started smashing our windows and I was spat on in the streets” he admitted, his artificial smile stretching wider. “Maa~ but if you really want to get a rise out of me, you’re better off asking about the eye, instead” he sneered, his victory secured when Hidan’s lips slowly dropped to a neutral, almost displeased line.

“Well played” Kakuzu admitted, a chuckle escaping him when his partner squawked in disbelief, his indignation roiling across his face.

“Gah! Oi! You’re not supposed to be impressed by him!” he groused, his annoyed expression morphing to accusatory; “you’re no fun tonight, ‘Kashi-kun” he added a little bitterly, his right foot kicking a nearby twig into the flames before he sucked in a deep breath and stood with a long, feline stretch.

“Now then, where best to fuck you, hmm?”

Swallowing down his nervousness (he could do this, he could do this, he could do this), Kakashi remained seated on his own log, the echoes of this morning’s assault still very fresh in his mind whilst Kakuzu grumbled out: “what did I tell you earlier?”

“Umm? Oh, you want to go first?”

“Come here, Hatake...”

Sighing (his fingers itching for a kunai, a shuriken, anything), the newest nukenin flicked a look at the tree-line before getting up and crossing the small distance he’d been allowed, the butterflies dive-bombing in his stomach going from desperate to ballistic.

“I think that the two of you should kiss and make up” the older of the trio drawled smugly, his eyes flitting from one to the other, a leer present regardless of half his face being hidden; “it’s been a while since I’ve gotten to watch you put on a show for me, Hidan, and I do not want to be disappointed” he drawled, a touch of warning edging his tone.

“Heh! As if we could let you down” the scythe wielder huffed whilst gesturing to his naked torso; “you can see how hot we are, right?”

“Umm, but I could see more without those clothes on... but for fuck’s sake, don’t tear them” he added as an after-thought, his eyes narrowing; “we’re not spending money or making any more detours after this and, if there are not enough serviceable garments to go around, then it’ll be you walking into Ame no Kuni naked” he huffed, his arms crossing.

“Now get to it” he ordered, his ears choosing to tune out the cocky reply of “heh, I’d look damn fine sauntering into that shit-hole with my fine ass on display, anyway... and so what if I cut this coat of yours down a bit, hmm? It’s a crime to keep those legs of his covered up...”

“Ano... isn’t this a little risky?” Kakashi tried to stall, his (thankfully still clothed) arm gesturing to the woods; “we’re in the borderlands and you’re at the top of several nations’ kill-on-sight list...”

“Aww, are you worried about us ‘Kashi-kun? That’s so sweet” Hidan mock cooed, his own legs swiftly striding him forward until he was close enough to snatch the arm the other had been pointing with; “well don’t go worrying that pretty head of yours because the speciality of my piss-stain of a Village was wards... Hell anyone, even one of those milky-eyed Hyuga’s, isn’t going to be seeing us tonight” he chuckled.

Then, in a slow, deliberate gesture, he moved to tap the scratched Konoha hitai-ate directly where the sealed Sharingan lay; “yep, the only thing that could potentially see through my security is one of those and, last time I checked, all of these babies are a part of the Akatsuki now, aren’t they...”

“I am not one of you...”

“Ooh? So you don’t think you’re our property yet, ‘Kashi-kun” the other sneered, a predatory gleam lighting his features; “we’ll just have to correct that now, won’t we?”

Pulling away (or at least attempting to), the last Hatake glared angrily when the hold on his arm tightened; “aww, come on, there’s no need to be shy” the other pale-haired ninja chuckled, his grin positively gleeful.

“Get off me!”

“Ha! Now there’s my ‘Kashi-kun, still so spirited” he chuckled, his free hand striking with a poise and accuracy that (even ordinarily) the dojutsu user couldn’t hope to avoid; within seconds, the back of his head snagged by the hair, his face was tilted and invaded by bruise pressing lips.

The shock of the movement, coupled with threads sliding up his body to unbutton and relieve him of the coat, had Kakashi struggling and pushing at Hidan until, with a kick to his ankles, he was falling with the other man atop him, their lips only parting on impact.

“Heh, someone’s eager” the crimson eyed shinobi laughed, his body leaning up as he straddled the slightly taller man’s waist; “umm, you look like you’ve been painted in amber and ivory next to this fire-light... such a pretty thing, aren’t you?”

“If you’re going to fuck me then just get on with it!”

“Oi, oi, begging already?” he close to giggled; his eyes watching as Kakuzu’s strings threaded through the grass to snag the other’s wrists and sew them into the ground next to his head, his pose one of complete submission despite the angry scowl marking his blush dusted cheeks.

“Well, it’s not like I can deny that kind of request now, is it?” he added, his tongue flicking out to lick his lips; “mmm, Kakuzu, I don’t care how much interest you charge me but we’re definitely buying a camera at our next stop, alright?”

Chapter Text

Watching the pair of them writhe upon the night-inked grass beside the golden flames of their campfire was, Kakuzu would admit only to himself, well-worth the inconvenience of stopping...

“Heh... relax, will you? You keep clenching like that and I’ll have to fuck you without lube and trust me when I tell you that you don’t want that, ‘Kashi-kun.”

Not that he didn’t want the Hatake’s bounty (and he could salivate over the amount of zeros which should follow the new one that’d be posted soon) but getting to see the younger man (his inexperience a pleasant surprise) sprawled out, vulnerable and desperately trying to fight off the pleasure Hidan was exposing him to, well...

“I-I... don’t-t... want any... of... of this!”

It really was quite enthralling...

“Oh really? That’s not what your dick is saying... especially if I jerk it at the same time I press just there...”

“Aaahhhh!”

Allowing a smirk to stretch his hidden mouth, Kakuzu sent his hungry eyes to roam over the creamy skin that was pinked at the cheeks, reddened where his partner was tugging and scattered with purpled bites and bruises across his elegant neck, slender shoulders and tapered waist.

“S-s-top! I-I... don’t want to... aaahhhh!”

“Such a little martyr... umm, I can’t wait to fuck that out of you...”

“Then get on with it” the older huffed, his hands loosely capping his knees as he leaned forward to watch those long, talented fingers disappear inside their captive, three in total, only to emerge still glistening with the crimson eyed ninja’s preferred, jasmine scented lube.

Again, expensive but worth it...

“Heh? So you want to play Director in our show, Kakuzu-sama?”

Chuckling (the sound deep, predatory and primal), the thread user tugged on the strings he’d used to secure their prisoner to the ground, the tightening causing the alabaster ninja to hiss when his fingers blended into the grass along with his forearms.

“Hn, pull your fingers out slowly, don’t stop touching him until he’s hard but don’t let him cum... I want to see him beg you to take him...” he breathed out gruffly, his hidden smirk matching the one now stretching Hidan’s lips.

“Are you sure you can be that patient? He’s a stubborn one” the cultist purred, his tone lightened by glee as his fingers retracted and Kakashi shuddered, paled and turned his face towards the fire in denial, his visible eye screwing shut as he tried to think about anything other than what was...

“A-aahhh... s-s-stop, stop it” he close to keened, his legs (hoisted and spread onto Hidan’s naked lap) uselessly struggling as his breath hitched under the pleasure of being so masterfully handled; on the rare occasions that meditation and training hadn’t gotten him through any built up sexual frustration he had only ever touched himself to end the tension quickly.

He’d never experienced anything like this...

“Nnnggghhhh! Ah! W-wha?”

“Can’t have you cumming until you learn to behave like a good-boy, ‘Kashi-kun” the other pale haired shinobi mock-chided; “you know... I’d feel bad for you if this whole situation wasn’t so stupidly self-inflicted” he added, his fist ruthlessly clutching the base of the purple length he’d captured. “Ooh... you look like you’re in quite the bit of discomfort, there... and people call me a masochist...” he tutted, his face forming a little pout as he gave the other’s side a gentle stroke, a grin forming when goosebumps rippled across his fire-lit, muscular abdomen.

“J-just...”

“Ah, ah, ah... Kakuzu-sama says that you have to beg to get what you want” the cultist reminded; “now come on, I know you can do it...”

“N-not h-h-happening...” the other replied through gritted teeth, a pained cry spilling out of him when Hidan tightened the grip to just the right side of agony.

“Really?”

“Aaaahhhh! N-n-nooo...”

Chuckling, the Akatsuki member skittered his polished nails across trembling ribs to gently pebble a pert nipple, his grin sharpening when the last Hatake whimpered and tugged futilely at his trapped arms.

“My, my, you’re so sensitive ‘Kashi-kun... you really must have been living like a monk all of this time, huh?”

“B-bast-ard!”

“Hmm, yes, I suppose I am” the scythe wielder purred whilst leaning forward, his leer amused as he moved to the next nipple; “but do you know what else I am? Hmm? I’m great at remembering things and ’Kashi-kun promised to follow our every order without question, didn’t you?” he asked, their gazes locking.

“It’d be such a shame for you to go back on your word now, wouldn’t it? In fact, that just might piss me off so much that I’ll kill you slowly, painfully and then, because you’ve taken my toy away, I just might head back to your Village, too” he uttered darkly, his fingers stilling; the sound of Kakashi’s laboured breathing was the only thing to break the silence. “Oh, but what to do when I get there, hmm? Kakuzu will, of course, be dragging your corpse off to the nearest black-market so there’d be no one to keep me in check and no one to stop me from doing all kinds of crazy shit” he reasoned, his teeth flashing an unkind smile. “But my first priority would be to get myself a replacement because I’ve missed getting to fuck someone and you have set a pretty high standard that I’m sure only another person from your homeland could meet” he furthered, their faces almost touching.

“Now... do you have something you’d like to say to me, ‘Kashi-kun?”

Sucking in a breath, visions of the mad-man atop him running amuck around Konoha, his scythe slashing friend, colleague and civilian alike before anyone could stop him twirling past his mind’s eye like a demented carousel, he knew what he had to do.

“Y-you win” he admitted.

“Good boy” he sneered; “and?”

“I...” the younger man swallowed, his gaze wavering slightly; “I... want you to... to fuck me... please...”

“Aww, that’s so cute” the other laughed smugly; “you’re not used to begging, are you?” he said through a grin whilst leaning back. “Hmm... what you need is inspiration” he continued, amusement clearly playing across his face; “say, that blonde kid we’re meant to get at some point? You know, the fox-boy, what’s his name again?”

“Uzumaki Naruto” Kakuzu supplied lightly, the look of horror draining their prisoner's face of colour exciting him further; Hidan was at his best when psychologically breaking their passing interests after all and, right now, against the firelight with such a good man in their clutches, he was in his element.

“N-no... no please, leave him out of...”

“Oh, now you see, that’s kind of difficult because there’s this whole plan thing going on” Hidan sighed, his tone far too sarcastic to be anywhere near remorseful; “hey, do you think that he’d be willing to be your replacement?”

“No... no please... please I’ll... you can’t... he’s just a kid...”

“Well, we all have to grow up sometime...”

Panicking, Kakashi wrapped his legs around the other ninja’s waist in desperation, his eye wild; “no please, please I’ll do anything, I want you to fuck me, I’m begging you, alright? So just... please? I need you inside of me and I promise to umph!”

Gasping into the kiss (a torrent of relief flooding him in waves), the silver haired jonin didn’t fight, didn’t buck but simply opened his mouth wider to allow the other access, his tongue giving way to the dominance he was being subjected to; when he was penetrated (in one hard, swift movement) he couldn’t hold in the scream.

He wouldn’t dare to if he could...

Chapter Text

“Neh, Obito... I know that you said you didn’t want any reports on Bakashi, but...”

Huffing, his maskless face grimacing in the artificial light cascading throughout the accommodation Pein had so graciously offered him, the man who had been Obito (never again, not after Rin, not after...) waved Madara’s servant away before taking another sip of sake.

“Nnh... but I think you really should hear this one...”

“Is he dead?” he wondered dully, his hand absentmindedly pouring another cup; “if so, did you manage to secure my Sharingan as I instructed?”

“Maa~ he isn’t dead...”

“Then why...”

“He’s a nukenin...”

Blinking, his eyes narrowing, Obito turned so that his scar-less side viewed the strange creature partially dripping out of the wall; “what?”

“Ano sa, ano sa, you’re interested now aren’t you?” the being tittered whilst spilling further into the room; from the look of it, it wasn’t the actual Zetsu he worked with but one of its clones, no, the clone he’d bid observe Konoha after his failed attempt to destroy the place.

After slaughtering Minato-sensei, Kushina-san and countless others in this thankless, untrue reality...

“What makes you think that I care? Kakashi isn’t Kakashi, not to me, not anymore...”

“Hou... but do you care that it wasn’t his choice and that he’s ranked first on the Village’s most-wanted list?”

Snorting, his second cup swiftly joining the first, the ebony haired shinobi poured another healthy shot from the bottle into the dainty vessel and stared at it for a long, sobering moment; the boy he’d known, the child who’d been wronged so often and only lived to follow that damned, useless set of rules was a missing-nin...

“Stop dancing around the subject” he ground out, his frown deepening; “it doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t, not unless his current status is a threat to us and our goal...”

“Umm, umm, well, you see, that’s the part I’m not sure about” the insipid being admitted whilst slouching over polished marble tiles, its tendrils snaking over rugs, a coffee-table and book-shelves to skirt across the legs of Obito’s chair and twine up the table he was sat at.

“Well?”

“Ano... Hidan-san and Kakuzu-san have him.”

Glaring into his sake (hadn’t he told Pein to keep an eye on their operatives? Didn’t they know that deviating from the instructions they were given was a punishable offence? Couldn’t they grasp how important collecting the bijuu was?), Madara’s disciple felt his frown deepen.

“So, they have failed to secure Konoha’s jinchuuriki and have taken him instead?” he close to growled; “that doesn’t make any sense” he added, his tone sour. “The old hag who calls herself Hokage would never agree to a ransom, especially where the Uzumaki is concerned, so it would appear that Kisame was right and that the zombie-combo Nagato promised to be an asset has actually turned into a liability...”

“Ooh... I don’t think that they want a ransom” the clone quipped, his tone sly; “just in case you wanted to know more, I went to check up on them and... mmm... I don’t really know what they were doing, but Hidan-san and Kakuzu-san seemed to be having a lot of... fun” he said, his head tilting abnormally in confusion.

“What?”

“Neh, what do you call it when one male human repeatedly pushes his genitalia into another male human? Is it still considered copulation when you cannot produce offspring? Does it matter if the male on the receiving end is being forced to comply? Or is it just some kind of primal response to...”

The sound of smashing porcelain erupted into the general quiet of the modestly furnished, origami accented room, its presence causing that supple form to stiffen slightly as Obito stood, his aura rippling with unsuppressed rage.

“Where are they!?” he snarled.

“Maa... I...”

Snagging the creature by its throat, the leather of his gloves creaking with the force, one of the last Uchiha locked gazes with those pallid, amber orbs: “where are they?”

“A-ah... they’re... they’re a four-r day walk... from A-me... I believe that... they’re he-ading... this way...”

Releasing the ooze-like menace (who still enjoyed tormenting him with inane, base questions about the human body), Obito took a step back, his mind-reeling with a sudden, insatiable anger that he couldn’t quench.

But why?

Why should he care?

What did it matter? None of this was real, none of this was true and so what if the Kakashi who’d failed to save Rin, who’d let her die was being...

He couldn’t finish that thought, he couldn’t allow himself to see (in his mind’s eye, in any reality) the boy he’d simultaneous loved and loathed, the boy who’d always bested him and (in what he’d come to see as his own, socially awkward way) tried to help him improve, to become a true shinobi be reduced to...

“Neh, Obito, do you want me to fetch him? Hmm? It’d be so easy” the ichors-being asked, his tone coated with a childish-glee; “or do you like that they’re being so mean to him, hmm? Maybe he deserves this, ah? Maybe it’s a fitting punishment for the person who allowed Rin to die, hmm?”

Blinking, the other’s words dousing the rage with cold, harsh reality, the Uchiha took a deep breath and calmed himself.

“Regardless of what has happened, it is what is to come that concerns me” he found himself saying, his voice strange to his ears, the rinnegan lazily swirling; “for now, I want them watched... don’t intervene unless you feel Hatake’s life is at stake” he added, his body moving to right the chair he’d inadvertently overturned.

“Having him brought here may actually be fortuitous, especially given his relationship with the Nine-Tails” he murmured dully before, with a light shake of the head, his eyes blinked, widened and then narrowed at the creature who was grinning at him in a smug, knowing manner.

“Umm? Wait... what the hell are you doing here?” he asked gruffly, an artificial hand moving to pinch the bridge of his nose to stump the headache trying to form there, his scowl developing when the servant of his master merely giggled and began its retreat back to the wall.

“Oh, nothing, nothing... just checking in with you” it explained, that strange smile now more amused than anything; “my brothers and I shall return to our watch... mmh... say, could I ask a favour of you, Obito?”

Quirking an eyebrow (his attention slowly coming away from the mysteriously broken sake cup (and its contents) that lay scattered upon the studio apartment's small, circular dinner-table), the raven haired ninja assessed the being with a cautious frown: “what kind of favour?”

“Hmm, oh, nothing big, nothing particularly special” it stated, its tone an attempt at playful; “maa~ in fact, it’s not so much a favour as it is a present” it chuckled, its unnatural smile morphing into something alien and haunting.

“Uh! Why must you always drag out what you’re trying to...”

“Please be here in four days time, at the compound, and stay here all day so that I can, ah, deliver it to you... I promise that you won’t be disappointed” it chirped.

Snorting, an uneasy feeling gurgling in the pit of his stomach, Obito was about to falsely claim that he had other things to do, and yet, for some strange reason, he felt compelled to say “fine” as he retook his seat, grabbed the sake bottle and downed the rest of its contents.

As Zetsu’s underling grinned, laughed about him “making the right choice” and began morphing itself back into the compounds walls, Madara’s heir found himself closing his eyes whilst the headache he’d been fighting bloomed across his consciousness in full.

Putting his head onto the table, a sudden wave of fatigue taking him, he found his mind wandering to strange places full of silver threads, dove-white skin and a disembodied voice crying out his name before everything was washed away in a tide of blood and screaming...

Chapter Text

“So... what’s the plan?”

Staring off into the night-sky, his mind full of horrors as he gazed at a mockingly romantic, porcelain moon (it must be about 2a.m. by now... was his rival sleeping? Breathing?), Maito Gai sucked in a deep breath before swallowing the remainder of his drink and setting the tumbler upon the window-ledge.

“Guys... you shouldn’t...”

“Hey, why don’t you shut the fuck up?” Genma grunted, his senbon effortlessly rolling from one side of his mouth to the other; “I am getting real sick of your bullshit and no Raido, this is not the whiskey talking” he hissed, his eyes narrowing on his lover who merely sighed and raised his hands in surrender.

“Just ease up on the kid a little, okay? He’s only ever known ANBU and how they do things” he reasoned, his voice the quiet-calm that the sombre, tense-thickened room they occupied needed.

“Kid? Don’t use such useless words around us and our generation” the brunette grunted; “the only kids here are the ones tucked up in the Akimichi Compound while their fathers’ are doing the job we should have been given” he added tersely whilst reaching for the bottle that they’d been sharing. “Hell, and can they even be called kids now that they’ve seen...”

“Don’t” Gai breathed, his eyes momentarily closing; “it’s bad enough without you repeating it...”

“Then let’s talk about what we’re going to do, instead” Raido directed, his form hunched in one of the two chairs that dwarfed the taijutsu specialist’s apartment (Tenzo was pertly sat in the other whilst Genma had made his camp upon the floor, his arms crossed on the coffee table which held two empty bottles and a few used glasses).

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to go after senpai, I do, believe me” the mokuton said, his large eyes staring into the amber fluid he hadn’t touched since his uncomfortable interrogation began; “but Tsunade-sama has already dispatched two of ANBU’s best squads along with Team InoShikaCho and, for all we know, this might be a trap to draw key fighters away from the Village” he furthered grimly. “The Akatsuki’s objectives aren’t clear but we do know that they’re targeting jinchuuriki from around the Nations and, if I’m honest, Naruto isn’t ready for this level of threat... not if just a pair of them could subdue senpai...”

“They didn’t subdue him” Genma snapped; “he did what he always does... just throwing his life away like it doesn’t matter for the sake of someone else, for people that don’t fucking owe him anything” he added, his steady hand re-filling the glass he’d just emptied.

Blinking, Tenzo found Raido’s gaze as the scarred ninja leaned forward to give his lover a gentle squeeze on the shoulder; “from what little I know about you and your origins, Tenzo-san, I’d say that you probably have at least a handful of instances where your life would have been ended if not for Kakashi, yes?”

At the younger man’s nod, the usually stoic male sighed; “well, for us, we can’t count the times because, unlike you, we weren’t raised in ANBU and weren’t recruited until our late teens... by that point, Kakashi was a taichou and very different to the boy we’d attended the Academy with...”

“Heh, for the first year maybe... then he was advanced up the ranks, graduated and taking on B-Class missions while the rest of us were still trying to through shuriken straight” Genma huffed, a third of his drink missing as Gai released a long, weary sigh from where he stood by the apartment’s only window.

“In any case... Gen and me? We didn’t have a clue as to what we’d been signed up for... the killing, the exhaustion, the secrecy... you see, we’d specialised in our own fields, it’s true, but the S-Class missions we’d been previously assigned just can’t compare to what we were told to do whilst in service” he admitted, his hand offering his tense partner another, gentle squeeze.

“Kakashi knew all of this of course... hell, we were a couple of months older than him but we were the ones struggling to cope and then, out of no-where, he started to approach us after the bad-missions and we’d talk, eat, drink, laugh and breath until the world made sense again... so we could live with what we’d done” he murmured. “Out of all the shinobi who have ever been labelled inhuman or merciless (”friend-killer” Genma spat, the words a foul taste on his tongue), no man I’ve ever met has cared as deeply for his fellow man as him... Gods... we might never have found each other, or a way out of ANBU proper, without him.”

“I...”

“And those bastards taking him is my fault...”

“What?!”

Snapping their heads towards the last Namiashi, the room as a whole were quick to start their protests before he glared them down, his eyes narrowed; “I got to Team Asuma when Kotetsu and Izumo sounded the alarm and I let the Akatsuki get away...”

“Rai... don’t...”

“No Gen, it’s true... if I’d been a little faster, if I’d sent clones to summon the ANBU quicker, then...”

“Even more people would have died” Tenzo cut in, his voice firm; “Raido-san, they’re immortal, the cultist even survived decapitation, so you cannot blame yourself... why, if you are to be blamed for what happened, then so am I...” he stated firmly, his eyes downcast. “I didn’t even think to ask about where he was going when he left me in charge of Naruto’s training at the waterfall... they couldn’t have been more than an hour away...”

“Stop it, both of you” Gai cut in, his tone strong but not harsh; “we could waste days dwelling on the past, days that we don’t have, that Kakashi can’t afford for us to stand idle” he announced, his body turning to face the other three, his figure standing tall and strong against the moon-light pooling behind him.

“So this is what we’re going to do...”

Chapter Text

True to his word, Hidan put on a show.

“A-aa-aaahhhh!”

So far, he’d been fucked roughly into the grass, his back sliding uselessly into and against the greenery whilst hungry lips had sought to steal his breath away as hands (strong, demanding and relentless) had latched onto his own trapped ones in the mock of a lover’s passion.

“Tell me... how... how good... that feels... ‘K-Kashi-kun...”

Then he’d been released by Kakuzu’s strings, flipped and dragged up onto all-fours before the fiend (somehow still painfully hard despite having already cum) slammed back into him with a howl, the fingers of his left hand digging bruises into his hips whilst the right fisted in his sweat soaked hair, effectively yanking his head back to expose his neck.

“A-ah... aahhhh... it feels... ugh... good...”

He’d been pounded for what felt like hours, his knees and the palms of his hands purpling thanks to the force of the other thrusting so deeply inside of him, his own length hardening despite himself as his prostate was expertly and repeatedly jabbed.

“B-beg me... to... fuck you harder...”

When he’d come for the second time (milked by a lattice of threads), his whole body shaking from the stimulation (never-mind the cool night air that not even their campfire could shield him from) and the feel of the other filling him again, Kakashi had hoped that that had been enough for one night.

“P-please... I... I can’t...”

He’d been wrong...

“You’re always so demanding with the virgins, Hidan...” Kakuzu commented through a chuckle, his stitched body naked from the waist up as he tossed his top to land with the other discarded clothes, no doubt preparing for his turn.

“O-one of... the most... sacred scr-riptures o-f... Jashin-sama... says...” the crimson eyed cultist replied, hips still maintaining a hard, deep rhythm from where he was bending the Konoha ninja over a make-shift altar he’d raised from the earth; “that the innocent were made to be broken...”

Whimpering, the Akatsuki member having buried a particularly fierce bite into the juncture between his neck and shoulder as if to seal his declaration, Kakashi was struggling to breath whilst the build up of another orgasm pooled in his loins, his shaft trapped in a strange, circular symbol that his captor had drawn upon the smooth, cold surface he was being pressed into.

He didn’t want to know what it was for and he didn’t want to cum, not again, not when he was so sore and tired... but he couldn’t deny the pleasure, couldn’t stop his biological urges even when, in the solace of his mind, he was screaming...

“Is he nearly ready?”

Oh God...

“Umm... one more... time... should do it...” was the breathy reply, his chest pushing flush against their captive’s back, his hands once more threading strong, battle worn fingers together as he sought his release with a few slow, grinding thrusts of his powerful hips, his teeth going back to their preferred resting place to sink down.

“Nnnnggghhhh!”

Gasping out raggedly, his left cheek finally able to lift off the altar and turn his aching neck when Hidan pulled away with a contented sigh, Kakashi was vaguely aware of his own shaft emptying but he couldn’t feel it; maybe he was in shock, or numb or perhaps he’d been involved in some kind of demonic rite.

Not that it mattered, not that he cared; he just wanted to sleep, wake up and find that this was all some freakish nightmare brought on by being lured into some ridiculous drinking challenge with Gai...

A raspy laugh left him at the thought; he refused to believe that it sounded like a sob because he didn’t cry, he hadn’t since Rin...

Oh Rin...

“Aww look, I think he’s definitely ready for us now, Kakuzu.”

Closing his eye, his teeth gritting when the scythe wielder slid out of him with a slow, relaxed leisure of someone content (but not yet sated as the member was still thick and heavy with need), a hand gently running down his side until they reached the newest set of bruises mottling his hips.

“So pretty” Hidan sighed; “nah, we best make sure that Deidara isn’t around if he’s still holding a grudge, neh? I don’t want his loveliness being spoiled by anyone but us” he added, a childish, possessive lilt inflecting his tone.

“Just make sure that you keep him close by when he isn’t chained up and there shouldn’t be a problem” Kakuzu returned, his body (erection proudly standing near Kakashi’s eye-line) now stood on the opposite side of the stone dais. “That means no grand-standing around the compound... hmm, unless we get him a collar and a leash...”

“Oh that’s just fantastic...” he found himself spitting; “why not henge me into a dog and be done with it?"

“Ha! Now that would be funny” the sadist chuckled before giving that flawless (albeit nail-scratch laced), marbled back a critical glance, his eyes moving down whilst the oldest of the three ascended the platform; “oohhh, I have a better idea... let’s brand him...”

“What?!”

“Well, tattoos are fine to, I suppose... huh, now I can’t decide which would look better... what do you think? Our names on you in black ink or the red of burned flesh?”

“Branding scars wouldn’t show for long on skin like his, not unless he was exposed to extreme temperatures anyway...”

“Hey! That was not a part of our deal!” Kakashi breathed, a reserve of anger flaring in him as he tried to push himself up on useless, jellied arms; “you fuck me, then you kill me and that’s it” he hissed, the air grunting out of his lungs when a swift, heavy hand slammed him back down.

“Oi, oi, oi, ‘Kashi-kun, you’re not really in a position to stop us now, are you?” the crimson eyed shinobi asked through a smirk; “so tattooing it is... Oh, and just in case this is all getting a bit much for you, please remember what I said earlier because I am really enjoying myself and so, if you want to punk out like your daddy, I’d like for you to picture your cute, little fox-boy wearing my name instead of you, okay?”

Swallowing down the bile which was creeping up his throat at the thought, the jonin nodded his understanding before allowing himself to be pulled up and onto the altar proper, his expression hopefully neutral whilst Hidan crawled on to join them.

“Aww, is the puppy pouting?”

“Telling you to fuck off isn’t breaking the deal, is it?”

“No” Hidan admitted, a demented tint of glee flashing across his face as Kakuzu removed his head-piece and mask; “and telling you that we’re going to fuck you isn’t, either.”

Blinking, his sealed Sharingan spinning wildly beneath his closed eyelid in shock, Kakashi felt his head shaking in denial whilst his body (so sore, so exhausted) tried to shuffle back but found, to his growing horror, he was being entrapped in a web of tendons.

“Now, now, there’s no need to look so worried...”

“You cannot be serious” the Konoha ninja whispered, his singular eye looking from one enemy to the next; “that’s...”

“Ugh, the whole reason why I’ve been trying my best to fuck you loose this past hour? You’re welcome, by the way... although, Kakuzu, he’s still fricking tight, you know, so I think I should start...”

“Not a chance” the thread manipulator grunted; “as delicious as it’s been to see you have your way, I’m done being a spectator” he added, a tug of his living laces easily pulling a weakly struggling Kakashi over to his waiting lap.

“No...”

“Heh, just relax, you’ll enjoy it, you’ll see...” Hidan stated lazily whilst he watched (his tongue flicking out to lick hungry lips) his partner drag their prize to sit on his lap, his hands helping to manoeuvre the cringing shinobi to take the engorged head before pushing him all the way down; the younger man’s cry was like music to his ears.

“Ngh, stop clenching, brat” the immortal grunted, his strings snugly wrapped around the other’s hips before they snaked up to coil squirming arms, effectively pinning them to his sides; “ugh, Hidan, hurry up and get over here before I change my mind about sharing.”

Grinning widely, the cultist scooted into position, a thumb running across dark, trembling lashes to swipe the moisture away from the tantalisingly trembling man’s closed eye lids, his tongue savouring the flavour before he shoved his hand up, past the nape of his neck, and into that soft, thick hair to tilt his head back.

As he began a slow, deliberately gentle kiss, a chuckle thrumming through him when the other still tried to resist, Hidan sidled in to the gap Kakuzu had made for him and waited for the tendons to shift their prize up, his free hand guiding him to the quivering entrance, his groan matching his partners when Kakashi was pushed down to consume them both in his passage.

“A-ah... no... no... I can’t...”

“Shh, shh, shh... just breath, that’s it...” the pale haired menace groaned, his hands then moving to hook under his original lover’s arms, effectively squeezing the jonin between them tightly as they set up a slow, deep rhythm, their throats releasing moans of pleasure as they slid together inside that impossibly tight, sweltering heat.

“Ugh... Kakuzu, I’ll... ugh... get you some... fucking money... alright? ‘Cus I’m not giving this up yet...” he stuttered, his pleasure overtaking him whilst he tried to increase the speed of their thrusting, his eyes rolling back.

“Hn...” the eldest groaned; “I’m sure... we can negotiate a deal, Hidan” he continued, his binds moving to gag the Hatake when he tried to protest.

“I think... even I can... see the value... in that...”

Chapter Text

He awoke to the feeling of cords wrapped around his mask-less mouth and bark pressing into his back; his head, much too heavy, had sagged down so that his chin rested atop a goose-pimpled chest...

“...ahi? Can... ear...e?”

God, he was so tried and everything hurt...

“... ful, it’s probably a... rap...”

He was wet, cold and shuddering but he couldn’t smell rain; the scent of trees, grass and people, familiar people flooded his senses as he became more aware, his unsealed eye fluttering open to see his naked body (heh, just another insult to add to his injuries) tied at the ankles, hips and chest to what he assumed to be a tree.

“...d’ve just... -eft him... as a message...”

There was blood on the long grass surging upwards past his toes...

“Kakashi?”

Lifting his head with some effort, his throat struggling to swallow due to the dryness of his mouth and the strings tightening their hold, the jonin tried to focus on the blurry shape approximately five metres away from him; what?

“He’s conscious!”

No... no, no, no, not them, not three of Minato-sensei’s closest friends...

“We’ll have you out of that mess in no time, alright?”

Eye widening in horror, Kakashi tried his best to shake his head, his eyelid rising and falling in a code that any ANBU would recognise, his movements stilling Shikaku in his tracks: “retreat” he pleaded; “go quickly”.

Signalling Inoichi and Choza to stop, the pair of them already preparing to drop from the leafy canopy, the Nara Clan Leader cautiously scanned the area before refocusing on the last Hatake (the younger man looked as though he’d been dragged through hell and back again; it was heart-breaking to see Minato’s protégée in such a terrible state).

“Where is the enemy?”

“Unknown... close.”

“Condition?”

“Injured, not critical” the younger man replied, his eye closing as he panted with fatigue; this wasn’t good. Shit, how long had he been out? This couldn’t be the clearing they’d stopped in the day before and, from the way sunlight filtered in through the leaves above them, it was mid-afternoon.

“Stay alert” Shikaku urged, a kunai whipping up and out of his weapons pouch; “they’re watching us” he added before making to approach through the knee high, wild-grass, his eyes flitting to Kakashi every so often as the younger man desperately shook his head and rapidly blinked that they should leave.

“Neh? Kakuzu, do these bastards look familiar to you?”

Hissing, his blade raised in a defensive position, the shadow manipulator glared at the man who lazily sauntered around the tree in nothing but his trousers, sandals and a lazy grin perched above the scarred hitai-ate collaring his neck, his right hand holding a deadly looking scythe at a relaxed angle as he leaned against the trunk.

“Hmm? Wait... no, no fucking way!” he crowed, his expression morphing to one of deep amusement whilst Choza and Inoichi dropped to stand just behind their leader, their own kunai drawn; “holy-shit! You’re related to that pathetic little group of chuunin, aren’t you? Wow, well, if you’re their fathers may I just say how absolutely pathetic they were, okay?” he sneered, his smile broadening when the men scowled.

“Especially you, fat-man... that kid of yours needs to grow a pair... oh, and don’t get me started on your slut of a daughter” he continued, a chuckle rippling up his throat to bubble into the air when the blonde male tightened his grip on his weapon. “By Jashin-sama, I can’t believe that you’d let her leave your home like that... hmm, unless you like it when your little girl plays dress-up for daddy, neh?”

Snarling, Inoichi made to move but, at the last second, Shikaku raised his hand, his tone firm: “don’t give him what he wants” he stated, his sandals sliding in the grass; “you’re a mouthy bastard, I’ll give you that much” he announced, his tone low and deadly. “We’ll be sure to have that inscribed on your grave-marker” he added, his glance flicking to Choza in preparation for their preferred opening formation.

“Oi, oi, oi... let’s not get hasty” Hidan called, the blades of his iconic death-tool swinging up to rest near his captive’s throat; “you wouldn’t want to see your precious little Copy-Nin get slashed in half, would you? Not after all the care you’ve taken to approach us in the hopes of getting him back, hm?”

“Hatake Kakashi is a nukenin, like you” the Nara said, his glare softening despite himself when the man in question seemed to deflate with relief; “retrieval of the Sharingan is the only thing that’s necessary...”

“Aww, what? You guys are just despicable, aren’t you?” the Akatsuki operative gawked, his face the very mockery of shocked sadness before he blinked, grinned and moved the longest of the three blades to hover, threateningly, over the seal inked across the jonin’s sealed eye. “Huh, say, if I cut it out and give it to you, would you just fuck off and let me keep him?” he asked, his tone a strange mix of curious and pleading; “that sounds like a fair-trade, right? I mean, it’s not like anyone in Konoha likes the Hatake’s is it? Hell, if what you did to his father is anything to go by, then letting me have him is almost a kindness, isn’t it?”

“Shika... let’s shut this bastard up already...”

“He’s stalling” Kakashi tried to warn, a strange feeling thrumming through him when the cords which bound him seemed to pulse with energy and writhe like snakes; “it’s a trap” he furthered.

“Go. Go now.”

“Mataku... I don’t get what’s so difficult here” Hidan admitted with a sigh. “As it turns out, ‘Kashi-kun is helping me to realise that I’m more of a lover than a fighter and, even though I’m sure it’d fun to massacre you pussies, I have got better things to, ah, do” he chuckled, his scythe dropping away whilst his free hand moved to caress the trapped male’s side, a lascivious grin taunting the lips he licked.

“You bastard! Get the hell away from him!”

“Choza!”

Growling his rage, the Akimichi quadrupled his arms in size, a fist swinging towards the smirking menace until, with a gasp, he planted it into the ground to (narrowly) avoid the body which dropped out of the boughs above to smash into the earth with a resounding squelch.

“O-oh God...”

Mangled in the grass, her porcelain mask shattered about her blood-stained head in the mockery of a halo, an ANBU agent lay, her chest torn open whilst wide, sightless eyes stared across at them, her mouth slackened in a grimace.

“Ugh! Finally” Hidan called to the area at large; “maa~ Kakuzu, you must be getting old if it takes you more than five minutes to restock” he added, his head shaking in exasperation as three more bodies flew to slump atop the green haired woman, the chests similarly punctured.

“You weren’t complaining about my pace last night” the other Akatsuki member snorted, his body landing next to Hidan with all the grace and confidence of a well-fed predator, the laces which made up the greater part of his body leisurely tied his arms back together whilst he pulled his sleeveless top over his head and back into place.

“Meh, that’s true... you were amazing” the slightly shorter conceded, their attention turning back to the Clan Heads as they stared, their expressions shifting from shock to fury whilst they looked away from the carnage to glare heatedly at their enemy.

“Okay, so, the way I see it, you three morons have got a choice to make” the cultist cooed, his thumb jabbing in his partner’s direction; “Kakuzu here really doesn’t like being late for appointments but me? Well, I’m getting a little jealous that he’s been able to slaughter those four guys whilst my tribute to Jashin-sama today stands at a pathetic, unforgivable zero” he added with a sigh.

“Now...” he continued, his scythe swinging through the grass effortlessly, the motion sending torrents of greenery to swirl between them as the wind picked up; “we could just go on our way and I’ll fuck-up the group of shitty bandits we found before you dick-less losers started closing in” he said, his grin stretching. “Or we can have a little fun, slit your throats, arrange your bodies in a way that’ll scar your kids some more and be on our way later...” he chuckled, his smirk pulling into something truly terrible whilst Kakuzu cracked his knuckles.

“And Kakashi?”

“Eh? Oh, you want the Sharingan, right?”

“Not happening” the string wielder huffed, his head cocking to the silver haired jonin, his eerie jade eyes narrowing; “you have any idea what collectors are willing to pay for that kind of dojutsu?” he grunted, a flick of his fingers tightening the cords to the point where his captive wailed.

“Stop that!” Inoichi seethed.

“Make me” the unnaturally tanned male snorted; “Hidan, I’m losing my patience...”

“Tick-tock, tick-tock” the other Akatsuki chuckled, his crimson eyes widening with glee; “what’s it gonna be, boys?”

“Go.”

Snarling, his fist clenching, Shikaku snagged a smoke-bomb from his weapons pouch and launched it before retreating, his movements pulling his comrades into action as they kicked up and into the trees.

“Stay strong, Kakashi!” Choza yelled, his voice strained; “this isn’t over!”

Chapter Text

“Looking good, kid!”

Blinking, a few of his shadow clones dispersing in surprise, Naruto turned, grinned and waved ecstatically whilst Yamato, his eyes widening, stood from his position within the kitsune wards he’d manifested, a gesture bringing a concealed Sai from out of the tree-line.

“Ero-sennin!” he called, his greeting causing the Sage to trip, his face furious as he glared up at him.

“Gwah! How many times have I told you not to call me that, you insolent brat?!”

Smiling brightly, his shirtless form effortlessly flipping from his wooden perch, the genin snagged a towel from the grass and started to walk towards his mentor; if he saw Sai nod at their taichou before sprinting in the direction of the Village he didn’t say anything.

“Ano, jii-chan, what are you doing back so soon?” he asked whilst roughly rubbing the material through his sunny-blonde hair; “I thought you were going intelligence gathering around the onsen again...”

“That’s enough of your cheek, thank you” the older male snapped, his right hand tugging the towel down over the squawking teen’s face, his grin just the wrong side of friendly as Yamato reached them, his expression neutral.

“Welcome back Jiraiya-sama” he greeted with a little bow, a grin trying and failing to reach his lips when his charge managed to duck away from the other’s gentle, physical taunting; it was hard to feel anything other than worry at the moment, after all.

“Umm? Oh, it’s you” the long-haired ninja replied, his gaze moving past the pale brunette to search for the pale (in general) shinobi he’d hoped to find by taking this route back into Konoha; Tsunade’s message had been brief but urgent and, if anyone knew what the situation was, it’d be Kakashi.

(He’d found through long, painful experiences that knowing what his Hime wanted before meeting with her was always better than just wandering into her personal space and being told whilst, usually, having to fend off a devastating punch to the head).

“Maa~ I was hoping the older, taller brat would be here” he sighed, his search proving fruitless whilst Naruto hissed at being referred to as short; “any idea where he might be?”

“I...”

“Tch, he’s not been around since the day before yesterday” Naruto huffed, his arms crossing as he pout-scowled at the make-shift waterfall he’d been using to perfect his natural-chakra training; “heh, he’s probably off perving over one of your books somewhere, dattebayo” he added with an unimpressed frown that did little to hide the hurt he felt.

He’d been really hoping that, this time, Kaka-sensei would take training with him seriously...

“He’s on a special S-Class mission right now...”

“Yeah, of course he is...”

“Oi, oi... easy on the disbelief there” Jiraiya interrupted, his eyes narrowing on Yamato (the inflection in his voice had clearly given the lie away; for a former ANBU to make such a mistake was relatively unheard of and so he must have done so purposefully). “Kakashi is one of the best and it’s likely he’s been sent somewhere for everyone’s protection” he reasoned, his hand now playfully tousling blonde locks until Minato’s son began to smile again.

“Maa~ jii-chan, knock it off!”

“Not unless you say please~”

“Urm... if I may interrupt” the former ROOT operative cut in; “Naruto, Jiraiya-sama has been summoned by Tsunade-sama and so...”

“Neh? You need to see baa-chan? Great! I’ll come too...”

“I’m sorry, Naruto, but this is S-Class level business” the taichou breathed, his hands raising in surrender when the boy turned a glare at him.

“What?! Aww, come on! Baa-chan won’t mind...”

“Oi, simmer down, brat” the Toad-Sage said, his arm snapping out to coil about the fifteen year old's shoulders in a familiar hug; “look, this’ll probably take a while so how’s about you go get cleaned up, then find that little pink-haired cutie you like so much and treat her to dinner on me, hmm?”

“W-wait, what? Hah! You serious?!” the blonde enthused, his blue eyes sparkling at the possibility of having a date and ramen.

“Beh! Don’t act as though I’ve never treated you before, you ungrateful, bottomless pit” he expressed through a snort, his eyes widening when the teen snapped up the ryo he’d pulled out from the inside his haori with a dazzling smile.

“Ooh! Gama-chan is gonna be so fat and adorable when I put all of this in him!” he cheered, his eyes glittered by the possibilities; “nah! There’s enough here for five, six, no, seven bowls of ramen each!” he cried, his legs jogging him on the spot before, with a “thanks jii-chan!!” he was sprinting away at a dizzying speed.

“Uh... you didn’t mean to give him that much, did you?”

Slumping in defeat, the older of the pair let out a deep, regretful sigh; “your reason for lying to me had better have been worth it, Tenzo-kun...”

Frowning softly, the joviality of the moment diminishing by the second, the mokuton user sucked in a deep breath before reaching inside his flack-jacket, a Bingo-book resting between his fingers.

“Mm? Is that new?”

“Hai” the brunette responded, his arm pulling back slightly when the Sage reached for it; “Jiraiya-sama, before you go to see Hokage-sama, would you please come with me?”

“Come with you?” the elder repeated, his brows raised beneath his oil branded hitai-ate; “ooh, I’m not liking the sound of... um? Is that Gai?”

Turning to look behind him, his posture relaxing slightly (much to the older male’s continued confusion), the pair watched as the taijutsu specialist closed the gap and his escort, noticing the dismissal Tenzo shot his way, nodded and curved his trajectory to back the way he’d come.

“I came as quickly as I could” the green clad ninja breathed, his gaze initially locking onto the former ANBU Agent; “does Sai know...”

“No” he answered quickly, his expression resolute. “Being raised in ROOT means that you never question your superiors” he added by way of an explanation before, much to his surprise, the book was plucked from his hand by a suspicious, frowning sannin.

“I don’t know what you two are up to, but I don’t like it... and Gai, you should no better...”

“Forgive me, Jiraiya-sama” the jonin cut in, a stiff, courteous bow forming until, his usually overly expressive face sobering, he nodded at the book; “please, if you would, turn to page seventy-seven and you’ll see the reasons for my less than formal greeting.”

Blinking, his dextrous fingers doing as instructed, the toad-summoner felt an icy tide of shock leech from his eyes to coat the rest of his body when, as though plucked from some unspeakable nightmare, the masked-face of his good-friend’s son stared back at him.

“W-what kind of sick joke is this?” he snarled, his lengths of hair spiking with a flare of chakra-fuelled rage.

“It’s no joke, Jiraiya-sama” Tenzo breathed, his body a little woozy thanks to the aura pooling off of the legendary ninja.

“Explain” the ivory haired fighter snapped, a menacing glare turning to Gai.

“Please, if I may, it’s a long story and one best spoken about in private” the tanned specialist bid, his cautious gaze sweeping the area for any eavesdroppers (ANBU or otherwise); “and one best told before you speak with Tsunade-sama...”

Chapter Text

Pulling his lance free with a satisfied groan, Hidan took a moment to admire the blood dripping from it whilst the helpless, nameless fool he’d sent into Jashin-sama’s snapping jaws crumpled into the dirt (to join thirteen of his colleagues) even as the ebony and ivory of the sacrificial rite receded from his skin.

“Ah, such sweet-agony” he sighed, the hole he’d pierced into his heart already closing whilst he turned to give his captive a wink; “aww, now don’t you get jealous ‘Kashi-kun, ending this fucker’s life was nowhere near as fun as fucking you, I promise” he said through a leer, his smirk spreading when the last Hatake merely glared at him, his gagged face still managing to look distinctly unimpressed.

“You finally done?”

Humming, his arms stretching up and over his head to pop a few joints, the crimson eyed shinobi allowed his gaze to fall on the hide-out (well, it was more of a shack, really) that Kakuzu had started plundering after hanging their captive (like a fly cocooned in a web) from the nearest, sturdiest tree-branch.

“Yeah, you find anything useful?”

Chuckling, a chest and three brief-cases came flying out of the darkened entrance way; the sound of ryo, jewels and jewellery scrabbling together filled the air as the string manipulator strolled out, his arms carrying two more sizeable chests.

“Ooh... it looks as though those bastards weren’t just bragging after all... what bull-shit name did they call themselves by again?”

“What does it matter now?” the money-lover snorted, his hand reaching for and pulling out a scroll after he placed his precious cargo to rest amongst its kin; “mmm, there’s at least 600,000 in ryo here alone” he close to purred whilst unrolling the paper and preparing a seal.

“So alls well that ends well, nah? Hmm, well, for everyone except ‘Kashi-kun... poor thing’s going to catch a cold at this rate” Hidan sighed, his tone incredulously suggesting that this was the only problem his captive was experiencing.

“There’s a chamber full of clothes in there if you’re not too lazy to get them...”

“Bah?! Lazy? Kakuzu, you wound me!”

“And you annoy me... so go make yourself useful and get out of the way for a while” he suggested, their glares locking; “if I make a mistake and can’t take all of this with us, I’ll kill you” he close to snapped, a pot of ink and calligraphy brush snaking out of his side and into his waiting hands.

“Pff, fine” he grumbled, his legs stomping him into the two storey, ramshackle building, his sneer growing when he looked from one shitty set of well-used furniture to the next, a grimace forming when he smelt the kitchen before he saw it.

So food was out of the question.

“Ugh, Jashin-sama, why must you test me?” he asked, his legs easily carrying him over dropped weapons and corpses, a trail of bloody foot-prints tracing his journey to a flight of stairs which he ascended with a put-upon sigh, his head shifting this way and that before he came across a room with the words ‘fancy loot’ written across the door.

Humming thoughtfully, his polished toes kicking it open with a little push, Hidan sauntered inside, his eyes widening as he laughed at what he found.

It was a veritable treasure trove of open wardrobes bursting with clothing from every nation in a plethora of colours, sizes, fits and styles; there was even a pile or three of various ninja uniforms and stacks of hitai-ate.

“Jack-pot!” he crowed, his hands dancing from kimono to kimono, a look of pure, fiendish glee lighting his features until he came across the perfect garment, his digits pulling the heavy, silken fabric from its hanger to view it properly before a cracked, full-length mirror.

“I will never doubt you again, my Lord” he promised whilst throwing the robe over his shoulder (along with its matching belt) and heading over to the uniform section; a quick rummage had him equipped with new trousers, tops and black, multi-purpose cloaks.

“Now then, let’s see... sandals, sandals... oh, there we go... umm, and what’s this? Sets of kunai? Why, I don’t mind if I do” he chuckled and then, his haul in arms, he virtually skipped his way out of the room, down the stairs and back out into the late afternoon sun.

Fortunately for him, Kakuzu had finished securing his winnings and, in an unusually good-mood, didn’t so much as snarl when the clothes Hidan had found for him were dropped at his side along with the shoes.

“Thanks” he grunted, his eyes looking up just in time to see a well placed shuriken slice through his tendons; Kakashi hissed when his bound form smacked into the ground, his mouth spitting out the cords as he started shimmying himself loose.

“Oh, what’s this? Feeling energetic, are we?”

“Not particularly, no” the jonin snipped, his hands shoving the strings away from his jaw and lower body.

“Aww, come on ‘Kashi-kun, what’s with the face, hmm?” he tutted, his smile never wavering; “if it isn’t enough that we let those old bastards go, I have a surprise for you...”

“Not to sound ungrateful” the silver haired man said, his bruised fingers clenching to return blood circulation; “but I really don’t want anything from you, thanks” he deadpanned, his expression as bored as he could muster before, with a yip, he was covered with something soft and heavy.

Blinking and (unfortunately) floundering for a second, Kakashi struggled to push the material aside in his weakened state; taking pity on his prisoner, Hidan pulled it away for the other to view, his smile softening.

It was perfect.

“You’re kidding me...”

“Nope, put it on” he urged, his hungry eyes roaming over the beautiful, moonlight rich fabric as it married beautifully against the Konoha ninja’s skin; wisps of obsidian, slices of crimson and feathers of pure, dove-white accented the entire garment and would, when worn, seamlessly blend into the belt.

“You do know that I’m not a princess, right?”

“A quick castration and few people would be able to tell the difference with that pretty face of yours...”

“Touché” the younger man sighed, his tone resigned; the last thing he needed was to encourage the more demented of his two captors to consider body modification, after all.

Then, with a pained twitch, he slowly got to his feet (dusting his legs and torso off as he went) and accepted the kimono; not that he’d ever admit it, but being covered up again (even if he looked ridiculous) went a long way to soothing his fractured psyche.

“Ah, ah? What did I tell you?” Hidan purred, his hands wrapping the wide obi-sash expertly about the last Hatake’s middle before pulling out and perfecting the wide, butterfly-bow at the back, his smile burning with delight whilst Kakuzu looked on thoughtfully; the oldest male’s jade eyes drank in the image before standing, a pleased sound escaping him.

“Nicely done” he complimented, his arms shrugging the cloak he’d been given up and over his shoulders; “so nicely, in fact, that I believe you deserve a reward, Hidan.”

“Hm?”

“Catch.”

Blinking, his hands cupping just in time, the cultist felt his eyes expand with glee as Kakashi paled and wished, for the thousandth time that day, to be anywhere other than where he was.

“Oh Kakuzu, I’m definitely lifting my blow-job ban for this” he preened, his fingers swiftly and clinically checking the device before swinging around to point it at his captive.

“Say cheese, ‘Kashi-kun!”

Chapter Text

Tenting her well-manicured fingers together, her elbows virtually digging into the desk, Tsunade regarded the Clan Patriarchs who stood at attention before her with a soft frown; “and you’re sure that the powder attached to his skin?”

“Hai” Shikaku confirmed. “My wife and I have been perfecting that formula for years alongside the Inuzuka Clan” he added, his sharp eyes narrowing onto the two smoke bombs he hadn’t detonated; “the scent will be active for at least five days regardless of any washing or chakra-masking” he added before flicking his gaze towards the window as it framed the setting sun.

“Good, Tsume’s chief trackers have already been dispatched and so we should see results soon” their Leader sighed, her own, honeyed eyes moving to a scroll hung just past Choza’s shoulder; “how was he?”

“Tsunade-sama, it’s best not to...”

“They’re keeping him as a sex slave, hell, maybe even a punching-bag” Shikaku grunted, his words cutting through any niceties that Inoichi may have been hoping to spread; “I see little point in sugar-coating the issue, Hokage-sama, and I see little point in us standing here when we were only ordered to plant the trace when we could have done more...”

“Don’t be ridiculous” Choza breathed, his hand resting heavily upon his friends shoulder; “those things are monsters... why, that creature has four hearts now instead of the one, and ANBU hearts at that” he tried to reason. “Even with our strength and experience you cannot truly believe that we could have secured Kakashi? And besides...”

“What?! It’s best that they still have him so we can finally locate one of their bases? Is that what you’re suggesting?!” he spat, his body spinning to glare at his team-mate; “this is Sakumo’s boy we’re talking about...”

“Precisely” Inoichi cut in, his heated gaze matching Shikaku glare for glare whilst Choza deflated; “and if anyone will understand the advantage this could give us, it’s him” he said, his brows furrowing when the Nara hissed. “He is a shinobi, a former ANBU taichou and someone who would willingly die for this Village, just as we all would... the fact that he is...”

“Probably being raped and tortured as we speak? That’s fine if we see positive results? If the Inuzuka can find their hide-out? Have you heard yourself, man! Your daughter could very well have been in his place! You...”

“Enough!!”

Snapping their attention back at the woman who’d summoned them, the Clan Heads’ bowed their respect before standing back at attention, the air thick with unspoken words, tension and regret.

“Thank you for your efforts” she said, her tone resolved (even as Jiraiya’s presence at the window she’d purposefully left unlocked for him made itself known); “you’re dismissed.”

“Hai!” they chorused with another bow, their bodies filing out of the double doors with little ceremony whilst the Toad-Sage easily pushed the glass aside and lowered himself onto the couch which’d always awaited him there since before the days of Minato becoming Hokage.

For a brief second, the sannin wondered, darkly, what Hiruzen and Minato would think of this situation when they, too, had used Kakashi for personal matters that any other ninja would never have been considered for...

”Hurry up and become a man I can write about in one of my books” he’d told him on one of his fleeting visits not so many years ago.

He’d been hoping to cast the boy as a romantic hero, not the victim of a horror story...

“You’re late, even for you, Jiraiya.”

“Maa~ forgive me, Hime-sama, but I happened by Naruto on my way here and, well, you know how he is...” he half-lied with a cheeky grin.

Snorting, her left hand reaching down to open the emergency sake-drawer, the Hokage then flicked her eyes to the doors, a narrowing of honeyed eyes dismissing the two ANBU guards who stood there as her friend and tormenter stretched himself across the seat that’d always been his since Sarutobi-sensei got tired of scolding him for not using the proper entrance.

“Kakashi has been compromised...”

“So I’ve seen” he returned quietly, Tenzo’s Bingo-book flipping to land upon her desk; “I was given this as I came in through the gates” he added, his dark eyes watching as she expertly poured two cups of the rice-wine and gently pushed one towards him.

“Asuma’s chunnin team decided to avenge him... I had, of course, forbidden them to act but they ignored my direct orders and pursued the Akatsuki responsible... Kakashi accompanied them and now...”

“Where were they last seen?” he asked; he’d had a gut-full of the details and wasn’t too keen on repeating any part of them.

“The western borderlands” the blonde sighed; “they’re heading progressively north...”

“Umm, that poses quite the problem” Jiraiya breathed, his lips tasting the drink he’d been offered as he conjured up an image of the route in his mind’s eye; “hmm, there are four potential Minor-Nations they could be heading to before entering The Land of Rock... never-mind any of other small-territories if they were to start head east. Ano, I know of many bandit groups who roam through those borders and, with their knowledge, members of many underground organisations can get around the main Nations in relative ease” he mused, his free hand grabbing his chin in thought.

“I’m not sure how much you just heard...”

“About the trace-powder and the Inuzuka? Mm, yes, I understand the situation...”

“And you don’t agree with what I’ve done?”

“Yari-yari, don’t let the musings of an old-goat like me encroach upon the mind of the Hokage” he snorted, the smile he shot her fading when he saw how deeply troubled she looked; “Tsunade...”

“You should be doing this job, you know” she breathed, her sake cup empty; “you wouldn’t...”

“Hey, none of that, alright?” the ivory haired sannin stated, his own beverage disappearing. “Look, this situation, what’s happened, is something that no one could have foreseen... hell, it was inevitable that our jonin and ANBU forces would clash with the Akatsuki at some point” he reasoned, his tone soothing. “And it’s awful, it’s a fucking nightmare but he’s alive, Tsunade, and so long as he’s alive there’s hope... Maa, knowing him, he’ll already be thinking of ways to sabotage whatever his captors have planned and then some” he continued, the smile he’d tried earlier returning.

“Jiraiya...”

“Look, to put your mind at rest, let me tag along... my toads can track just as effectively as ninken and all I ask in return is a three man squad to help out, just in case...”

“You’re not taking Naruto...”

“Good Gods Hime! Of course I’m not!” he yipped, his hair spiking in shock; “by Kami-sama, could you imagine? If the boy catches wind of this then there’ll be no stopping him running off and getting himself killed” he grunted, his fingers pushing the earthenware vessel back to her for a re-fill.

“No, I want three specialists in particular whose skill-sets will come in handy for a range of situations, and I want permission to extract Kakashi as a priority over dealing with our friends in the black-cloaks” he added, his eyes narrowing. “Logically, I realise that this is a big ask... we all accept and know that our jobs, vocations, involve being tools for the Village and Hi-Daimyo which, of course, means that we should use Kakashi's imprisonment to our ultimate advantage, but...”

“Granted” she cut in, their eyes looking over the sake-cups; “I wouldn’t trust anyone else to bring him home... just make sure that you do and that we don’t lose anyone else...”

Chapter Text

Dusk descended swiftly and with it, came a roiling, unforgiving storm...

“Running in the dark and rain is no fun, you know...”

Once more strapped to the eldest immortal’s back, the ridiculous sleeves of his equally absurd outfit flapping out (since his arms had been locked to his naked sides beneath the kimono) so it looked as though the thread-wielder was hauling around a giant moth or some unsightly, flightless bird, Kakashi couldn’t help but focus on the (pleasantly) numbing cold.

“Hidan...”

“What?! You don’t like traipsing around in this shitty weather any more than I do and we’ve made great time!” the crimson eyed Yugakure defector snapped, his scythe waving around the canopy to deliberately send further sprays of water to patter against their cloaks (and an annoyed, unprotected Kakashi).

“Knock that off before I make you” the string manipulator hissed; “your childishness and constant demands...”

“Bagged us a great lay and a shit-ton of money, so your point is moot” the cultist snapped, his weapon smacking a particularly leafy branch to douse his companions in a heavy shower of cold liquid; his demented chuckle was a sharp contrast to Kakuzu’s angered snarl.
"既捞到个极品床伴又赚了大把钞票，你的反对毫无意义，"邪教徒厉声反驳，手中武器猛击茂密枝桠，冰冷的液体如暴雨般浇在同伴身上；他癫狂的笑声与角都愤怒的低吼形成鲜明对比。

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of your...”
“够了！我受够你的……”

“Nah, but Kakuzu-sama, we should really stop and get you out of those wet clothes so that I can pay you for my camera, neh?” he laughed, his tone teasing as he danced and spun away from the grabbing hand sent to strangle him.
"才不要呢，角都大人，我们真该停下来给您换掉这身湿衣服，这样我才能付您相机钱呀，对吧？"他笑着打趣道，灵巧地旋转躲开那只想掐死他的魔爪。

“Hold still!”  “别动！”

“Umm... not to interrupt or anything, but...”
“呃...不是要打扰你们，但是...”

“Keep your mouth shut or I’ll gag it!”
“再出声我就堵上你的嘴！”

“Okay” Kakashi said, his eye re-focusing on the camouflaged group of (what he guessed to be) Hidden Stone Village ninja; if so, they were probably heading back from a mission and had caught sight of them in the near darkness through the trees. “Just thought you’d want to know you’re about to be ambushed” he added, his head tilting away to allow the kunai whistling towards him safe passage past his carrier’s ear, a grin pricking his lips despite himself when the man grunted out a curse and began a rushed, almost clumsy descent.
“好吧”卡卡西说道，他的独眼重新聚焦在那群伪装过的（他猜测是）岩隐村忍者身上；如果是这样，他们很可能刚执行完任务归来，在昏暗的林间发现了他们。“只是觉得你们该知道快被伏击了”他补充道，偏头让呼啸而来的苦无安全擦过载着他的人的耳朵，当对方咒骂着开始匆忙——甚至有些笨拙地降落时，他嘴角还是不由自主地勾起一抹笑意。

And hell, he may fucking hate the bastards responsible for the Third War and Obito’s death but he would quite gladly welcome them now, especially since this seemed to be a specialist squad with the skills necessary to cover any traces of themselves; with twenty of them, they’d definitely give his captors a run for their money.
见鬼，他或许恨透了那些该为第三次忍界大战和带土之死负责的杂种，但现在他绝对会热烈欢迎这帮人——特别是眼前这支显然精通消除痕迹的特种小队。二十人的阵容，绝对够那些绑架他的混蛋喝一壶的。

Therefore, in all fairness, he should have kept his mouth shut but getting to watch a group of people he despised end each other in a fight where causalities would surely befall both sides was turning out to be the highlight of his week.
所以公平来说，他本该保持沉默。但能亲眼看着两拨自己厌恶的家伙自相残杀、两败俱亡，俨然成了他这周最精彩的消遣。

It might even be worth dying for...
为此搭上性命都值...

“Members of the Akatsuki! Surrender now and your deaths will be merciful...”
"晓组织的成员！立即投降可获慈悲处决..."

“Hah! You pussies talk as if you could kill us!”
“哈！你们这群软蛋说得好像真能干掉我们似的！”

Rolling his eye at the usual taunts, the Konoha nin grunted when he was unceremoniously slung away from Kakuzu, a stream of chords lasing him (like a damned puppet) to hang, by the wrists, from a bough near the ground, his toes barely touching the muddied surface.
木叶忍者翻了个白眼，对这种惯常的挑衅嗤之以鼻。当被粗暴地从角都身边甩开时，他闷哼一声——无数丝线像操纵傀儡般将他捆住，手腕高悬在离地不远的树枝上，脚尖勉强能碰到泥泞的地面。

“Wonderful” he deadpanned, his legs kicking uselessly within the (even heavier) soaked silk garment he’d been so expertly wrapped in, his steel-grey eye watching with disinterest as the fight carried on above him, his neck finding it difficult to turn thanks to the huge sleeves bunching up around his shoulders.
“妙极了”他干巴巴地说道，双腿徒劳地在（愈发沉重的）湿透绸缎里踢蹬——对方用这布料把他裹得堪称艺术。钢灰色的眼眸百无聊赖地注视着头顶持续的打斗，由于宽大袖管在肩头堆叠成团，他连转头都颇为困难。

“You look like you’re having fun...”
“看来你玩得很开心嘛...”

Blinking, his head snapping (as much as it could) to the right, Kakashi narrowed his gaze on the white and black creature he’d encountered a few weeks ago (alongside the enigmatic Tobi) as it sprouted from the trunk of the tree he was attached to.
卡卡西眨了眨眼，脑袋尽可能地向右侧转动，眯起眼睛盯着那只几周前曾与神秘人阿飞一同遭遇过的黑白生物——此刻它正从束缚着自己的树干上破皮而出。

“Meh... gomen... I am trying out sarcasm as my latest human activity but I don’t think I’m doing it right” it commented, its warped voice calm and easy despite its numerous tendrils snapping out to divert a cluster of shuriken which would have torn him to shreds if they hadn’t been caught.
"嗯...抱歉...我正在尝试把讽刺作为最新的人类活动来练习，但好像不太成功呢。"它用扭曲却平静的声线评价道，同时伸出无数触须拦截了一簇手里剑——若非如此，这些暗器早将银发忍者撕成碎片。

“Don’t worry about it” the silver haired male replied with the best shrug he could muster, the eeriness of situation no longer phasing him after the two days he’d already endured on this LSD trip of a journey; “you’re Zetsu, right?”
"别在意。"银发男子尽力耸了耸肩回应，在这段堪比致幻剂之旅的漫长两天后，再诡异的场景也无法让他动容，"你是绝，对吧？"

“Hooo? You remembered my name? Maa~ how flattering” it grinned, its body snaking out of its cactus-like housing to get close (much too close for the mask-less man’s liking), its wide mouth pulling into a (quite frighteningly) pleased, open smile.
"哦呀？居然记得我的名字？嘛~真是令人愉悦呢。"它咧开嘴笑着，身躯从仙人掌般的躯壳中蛇行而出逼近对方（距离近得让摘下面罩的男人感到不适），那张大嘴扯出个（相当骇人的）满意笑容。

“Umm...”  “呃...”

“You are a very attractive specimen, you know? Mm, a lovely face but not overly feminine and your body is beautifully built for speed, strength and agility with not too many scars either, which means you’re strong... I like strong... So, neh-neh, I was wondering if I could do to you what they were doing the other day? Umm? Can I? It looked really interesting” it said, an edge of enthusiasm and excitement tingeing its morphed, waspish voice.
“你知道吗？你真是个极具吸引力的样本呢。嗯，一张俊俏却不失阳刚的脸庞，身体线条完美适配速度、力量与敏捷，而且疤痕也不多，这说明你很强壮...我喜欢强壮的...所以呐呐，我在想能不能对你做那天他们对你做的事？嗯？可以吗？看起来真的很有趣呢。”它说道，变形后黄蜂般的声音里透着兴奋与热切的锋芒。

“A-ah, I would much prefer it if you didn’t” the last Hatake breathed, his legs closing subconsciously under the cover of his kimono, his face trying to edge further away from the now curiously blinking thing that was crowding him.
“啊-啊，我宁愿你别这样。”最后的旗木族人屏息道，和服下摆间双腿不自觉地并拢，脸庞试图远离那个正眨着好奇眼睛、步步紧逼的异类。

“Honto-ni? Oh, but I really want to know what it feels like...”
“真的吗？可我真的很想知道那是什么感觉……”

“It’s nothing special, and neither am I” Kakashi tried to persuade, his eye darting back to the fight as five or so Iwa-nin toppled from the branches in pieces and chunks (to the (quite frankly) terrifying back-drop of Hidan’s whoops and calls to Jashin-sama!!).
"这没什么特别的，我也一样。"卡卡西试图说服对方，他的眼睛又瞟向战场——约莫五名岩忍正从树枝上四分五裂地坠落（背景音是飞段令人毛骨悚然的欢呼声，他还在高喊邪神大人！！）。

“Maa... if you’re that curiously, I’m sure either one of your friends up there would be more than happy to...”
“嘛……如果你这么好奇的话，我相信上面随便哪位朋友都会很乐意……”

“Eeh?! Kakuzu-san is too scary to ask... and Hidan-san’s even scarier” it sighed dejectedly, its head bowing in despair; “yari, yari... Itachi-san said I couldn’t do it to him either... oh, when am I ever to learn about copulation?” it moaned, it eyes turning up to look past the canopy and into what little of the night sky was visible now that the storm had subsided. “Nah... the time for her return is getting closer and soon all the ningen will be...”
“诶？！角都先生太可怕了不敢问...飞段先生更吓人...”它沮丧地叹气，绝望地垂下脑袋；“哎呀，哎呀...鼬先生说也不能对他做那种事...哦，我到底什么时候才能学会交配啊？”它哀嚎着，眼睛向上望去，透过树冠凝视风暴平息后若隐若现的夜空。“算了...她归来的时刻越来越近，很快所有人类都会...”

“Oi! You best get away from our property you demented bonsai-tree!”
“喂！你这疯疯癫癫的盆景树最好离我们的地盘远点！”

Turning back to see a blood-spattered Hidan (the cultist’s right hand gripping a severed head which he launched at Zetsu in hopes of moving it away) the Konoha ninja scowled when a splash of crimson crested across his fringe, hitai-ate and cheek whilst the bizarre being snapped up the offering in its cactus-like maw and started to chomp on it loudly.
回头看见满身血迹的飞段（邪教徒的右手攥着颗断头，正朝绝的方向掷去企图引开它），木叶忍者皱起眉头——一泼猩红液体飞溅过他的刘海、护额与脸颊，而那个怪物已经用仙人掌般的巨口接住这份"礼物"，开始大声咀嚼起来。

“Who the fuck are you people?” Kakashi found himself asking, his hands giving the chords that held him a desperate tug in an attempt to free himself (if anything just to get away from the awful sounds of the unfortunately Iwa nin being chopped up by wickedly sharp teeth).
"你们他妈的都是什么人？"卡卡西忍不住问道，双手拼命拉扯着束缚他的绳索试图挣脱（哪怕只是为了逃离那些倒霉的岩隐忍者被锋利獠牙撕碎的可怕声响）。

“Ugh! You stupid plant-monster! Look at the mess you’ve just made!”
“呃！你这蠢植物怪物！看看你搞的这团糟！”

“G-gomen” Zetsu mouthed around a portion of skull; “but you’re the one... who fed me... Hidan-san” he furthered with a slurp that had the captive jonin shuddering with revulsion.
"对-对不起"绝含着一块头骨碎片含糊不清地说道，"但喂我吃这个的...可是你啊...飞段先生。"他接着发出吸吮声，让被俘的上忍因厌恶而颤抖。

“How was I supposed to know you’d eat the guy, ah?!” the scythe user gawked, his blood-sticky hand rubbing against his water-slicked cloak in an attempt to clean it whilst effortlessly returning the weapon to its rightful place at his back. “By Jashin-sama, that is just disgusting” he sneered, his legs walking him over to the pair as one final, pained scream filled the air (after what was probably a babble of terrified begging).
"我哪知道你会把那家伙给吃了啊？！"镰刀使瞪大眼睛喊道，他那沾满鲜血的手在湿漉漉的斗篷上蹭了蹭试图擦干净，同时轻松地将武器收回背后原位。"邪神大人作证，这也太恶心了"他嗤之以鼻，迈步走向那对搭档时，空气中最后回荡起一声痛苦的尖叫（此前多半还夹杂着惊恐的哀求絮语）。

“Yari-yari, Hidan-san, I’ve seen you drink blood sometimes...”
“哎呀呀，飞段先生，我有时会看见你喝血呢……”

“That is a deeply religious, sacred ritual performed by me for the glory of my God, you feckless, mindless heathen!” he snarled, one of his new kunai whipping from under his cloak as the last body tumbled from the branches to hang (Kakashi noticed thanks to the muted starlight) with fifteen others like some hideous decorations on a nightmarish Christmas tree. “Ugh! I’d cut you up into little pieces and use you for mulch but I don’t want any more grime getting on ‘Kashi-kun, so back the fuck away, alright? What the hell are you even doing here? Ah? We’re still ten miles or so away from...”
"这可是我为神明荣光所行的神圣宗教仪式，你这毫无信仰的愚昧异教徒！"他怒吼着，新锻造的苦无从斗篷下疾射而出。最后一具尸体从枝头坠落，悬挂在（卡卡西借着黯淡星光注意到）另外十五具尸体之间，活像噩梦般圣诞树上骇人的装饰品。"啧！我本该把你剁碎了当肥料，但不想让'卡西君'沾上更多污秽——所以识相点滚远些，懂吗？你他妈到底来这儿干什么？嗯？我们离目的地至少还有十英里……"

“Ooh... Hidan-san, didn’t you know? Leader-sama’s heard that you've caught a scarecrow instead of fox” the monochrome and black accented chakra-creature cooed, its body now moving to twist behind the newest nukenin, its coat stretching abnormally as it used an unusually long tongue to clean its mouth and face. “Why’d you do that, neh? This guy isn’t a jinchuuriki and he’s not joined us, has he? Ano sa... I can’t see what his purpose is and neither can he...”
"哎呀...飞段先生，难道你不知道吗？首领大人听说你抓了个稻草人而不是狐狸呢~"那只黑白相间的查克拉生物用甜腻的声线说道，它扭曲着身体绕到最新叛忍身后，外套异常延伸着，用超长的舌头舔舐自己的嘴和脸。"为什么要这么做呢，呐？这家伙既不是人柱力，也没加入我们吧？那个啊...我看不出他有什么价值，他自己也搞不清楚呢..."

“Bah! So what? There aren’t any rules about taking prisoners” the crimson eyed shinobi snapped, his kunai pointing directly between the unnatural being’s eyes when that deceptively human-shaped head stretched to peak around Kakashi’s side. “And besides, that fox-brat will come running once he knows where his precious sensei is... not that we need the kyuubi yet... Heh, Leader-sama should spend his time sending you to badger the fuck-tards who haven’t caught the lesser tails! Those other losers have only snagged the weakest one from that sand-bastard whereas we have slaughtered several people from the problematic list and Kakuzu has been more than filling his role as treasurer” he added with a scowl.
“呸！那又怎样？可没规定不准抓俘虏。”红眼忍者厉声道，当那人形怪物从卡卡西身侧伸长脖子窥探时，他的苦无径直抵在对方非人般的双眼之间。“再说了，等那狐狸崽子知道他宝贝老师在哪，肯定会屁颠屁颠跑过来……虽然我们暂时还用不着九尾……哼，首领大人就该派你去骚扰那些连次级尾兽都抓不到的废物！其他那群窝囊废只从砂隐村杂碎手里抢到最弱的一只，我们可是干掉了名单上好几个麻烦人物，角都那家伙当财务主管更是绰绰有余。”他阴沉着脸补充道。

“Hmm? Neh, does that make this guy a reward?” Zetsu tittered, his tongue now lashing out to slowly approach (a clearly cringing and squirming) Kakashi, that wet, serpent-like tip, centimetres from the palest fighter’s cheek; “neh-neh, does that mean we get to share him?”

“Whoa!!”

“Aww...”

“Go to fucking touch him again and I’ll rip that hideous thing out of your face and strangle you with it!”

Kakuzu narrowed jade-eyes, his arms cradling a (oh why, why couldn’t he have his mask back?) blushing jonin who (by instinct and instinct alone, Kami-sama-damn-it) had flung startled arms around his neck; he went to pull them away, swiftly, but found the threads that’d so suddenly jerked him up and into the trees pulled tight to keep them there.

“Oi...”

“Tell Leader-sama that we’re on our way and that we’ll speak with him when we get there if he’s so concerned” the eldest shinobi grunted whilst jumping back down to the ground; “now fuck off and don’t bother us again or you’ll be sorry” he added with a menacing glare (if he noticed his prisoner desperately trying to pluck the laces from his wrists then he didn’t comment about it).

“Yari-yari, I guess we’ll have to have a reunion in two days time then, Bakashi” the ichors fiends sighed, his gold eyes intently focusing on the look of shock which robbed that pretty face of its embarrassment.

“W-wait, what did you just...”

“Maa~ I’ll be on my way then” it cut through, the tone of its voice deepening with a chuckle; “mmm, I wonder what fun we’ll get up to, neh?”

Chapter Text

“You told us about the Iwa-nin, why?” Kakuzu questioned, the three of them sequestered in an old, only seasonally used hunter’s shack; they’d raided the cupboards and shelves, started up the two log-burners and had hung their clothing across the meat-curing wracks to dry just as the rain returned.

Kakashi (his back to the others as he worked to put a meal together on the work station next to an ancient stove with equally archaic cookware using the preserved and canned provisions they’d found) shrugged (he was glad when the motion didn’t dislodge the old (but luckily clean and dry) towel he’d been given, its coarse fabric wrapped tight about his waist).

“Heh, you see, I told you that he was warming up to us...”

Snorting (the temptation to throw the water he’d been bringing to the boil at his two captors before making an uncoordinated, limping run for it growing ever stronger), the Konoha nin started to add the sun-dried vegetables he’d expertly chopped to the stock he’d made before reaching for the dry, pre-made noodles; “maa~ I wouldn’t go that far...”

“Then why did you?” the eldest furthered, his form sat at the small table in the open-plan area, his gaze watching the mesh of lean, sculpted muscle across that blemish-free, alabaster back.

“I’m not sure how involved either of you may have been in the Third Shinobi War” he began, his hands adding various seasonings with practised ease; “but I was raised in it” he continued, his eye watching the broth froth as he sent a ladle to scoop and clear it away. “I earned my first kill when I six, on my second B-rank mission... a bunch of them had sacked a small settlement just outside of Tea Country and butchered the farmers as a warning... I’ve hated those Iwagakure bastards ever since” he huffed.

“Ooh... so our noble, white-knight does have a dark-streak after all” Hidan chuckled, his hand grabbing the bottle of rum he’d found hiding beneath a stack of crumpled furs and, with a quick twist of the cap, took a hefty swig before passing it to a still attentively watching Kakuzu.

“What? I’m a ninja, not a samurai or a monk for that matter...”

“Even though you live like one...”

“It’s hard to behave like a human when you’ve been raised a killer” he retorted, the noodles slipping into the hot bath he’d prepared for them whilst he stirred the soup and started shredding the jerky-like meat he assumed to be a delicacy from this area. “And besides, I’ve turned out to be pretty bad-luck for everyone whose ever been involved with me” he furthered, his eye narrowing at the heated pieces of vegetation whilst they bobbed and danced together.

“All of my precious people are dead and, aside from one or two of them, their blood is on my hands” he admitted, his brows furrowing lightly; “I have murdered men, women and children in combat and during assassinations where no witnesses were to be left... there is nothing noble about me” finished, his tone unwaveringly serious before he tossed in a pinch of salt and pepper.

“And yet you’re here when you didn’t have to be...”

Blinking, his eye widening when he failed to stop his body jerking in shock, Kakashi scowled darkly as Hidan chuckled; “you can’t kid a kidder, ‘Kashi-kun... sure, you’re skilled and powerful and I don’t doubt for a second that you’ve done everything you’ve claimed” he said, the sound of the bottle sloshing momentarily pausing him. “Heh, but the difference between good people like you and bad people like me is that you chose those idiotic chuunin over yourself... Hell, you’re even just sticking around now to make sure we’re entertained enough to leave your precious Village and the kyuubi alone” he furthered before taking another swig.

“That sounds pretty noble to me” he sighed pleasantly; “not that I’m complaining, of course, being able to manipulate you into doing what I want has been one of the best things about wearing that tacky uniform and following Leader-sama’s ridiculous orders...”

“Hidan...”

“What? It’s true, come on Kakuzu, I know you feel the same” he huffed; “ugh, I just hope that he’s not at the Compound when we get there... him and his damned, creepy eyes” he said through a shudder, his scowl growing before he downed another mouthful. “Tch, if it wasn’t for him being so insanely strong...”

“Is the food done yet?”

Frowning softly, the wooden spoon moving to break apart the noodle strands to ensure they didn’t stick, Kakashi offered a “five minutes, maybe seven” and bemoaned the older immortal not drinking enough to let any key secrets spill.

Not that knowing their Leader had some form of dojutsu wasn’t vital (and hopefully something he could write on a note and stash in a place any Konoha trackers could find it) but names, abilities, locations and plans would be the best intel to gather.

“Oi, you know what, that actually smells pretty good...” Hidan voiced, the bottle he held sounding emptier than before; “heh, is there anything you can’t do?”

Shrugging, his hands reaching for the bowls he’d set aside, the silver haired ninja bit his lip thoughtfully, a plan to draw information out of the cultist slowly piecing together; “I’m not so great at convincing people from the Uchiha Clan not to do stupid things” he said lightly. “As for the food, I had two choices after I was orphaned when it came to eating” he added, his steel-grey eye focusing on the broth before taking a sip (savoury, slightly sweet, would be better with fresh-meat but it’d do). “So, instead of throwing myself upon the mercy of our Shinobi Council’s group of volunteers, I taught myself to cook using books from the library” he finished before using a set of ryoribashi chopsticks to start pulling the cooked noodles from their bath to enter the bowls.

“Speaking of the Uchiha, do you work with Itachi much?”

“Heh, you got a grudge or something?”

“No, not really” he answered blithely; “he was my subordinate once and after we fought about a month ago he seemed...”

“Stop asking questions” Kakuzu cut-in, the sound of the glass bottle being grabbed (and the accompanied displeased squawk from the crimson eyed shinobi) filling the log-crackled air; “I warned you the other day and I am not fond of repeating myself.”

“Maa, you didn’t directly forbid me from...”

“Well I am now” the eldest grunted, the sound of the glass vessel emptying (followed with a low whine of “aww, what am I going to drink now? You’re so mean, Kakuzu”), Kakashi simply sighed out a “hai, hai” before snagging the ladle he’d found and distributing the soup evenly across the bowls. Then, after popping the cleaner sets of oddly matched chop-sticks he’d pilfered from a utility draw (where a few scraps of used paper he hoped to use later were scattered) into the broth, he steeled himself, turned and placed them before his captors before retrieving his own.

“Itadakimasu” both he and Hidan chorused (the older through habit, the younger through drink) whilst tucking in, the Yugakure nin grinning and happily slurping away as the string wielder hummed thoughtfully; “not bad” he admitted lightly, his green eyes still narrowed; he knew the dish wouldn’t be poisoned since he’d vetted all of the ingredients beforehand but he hadn’t expected it to taste this good.

“Mmm... ‘Kashi-kun, what else can you make, eh?”

“I’m best at fish dishes” the last Hatake replied, “the river near my family’s estate was full of trout and they were free to catch, so...”

“A ward’s just been triggered” the scythe wielder blinked, the pink cheeks brought on by the rum vanishing as he swallowed his meal in one swift, satisfied gulp, his towel clad body standing to retrieve his pants as a pleased, dangerous smirk taunted his mouth.

“How many?”

“One... heh, I think the fucker is shitting himself because he’s falling all over the place, just like...” he stopped, his black cloak flowing into place; “by Jashin-sama, I don’t believe it...” he sneered, his gaze narrowing as he stared out of the window at the comically tripping, squealing and bumbling figure desperately trying to re-attach the paper strips dancing away from the trees.

“What?” Kakuzu snapped irritably, his own form rising; “is that?”

“Tobi” Hidan sighed, his whole posture deflating with exasperation tinged annoyance; “what the fuck is that moron doing here, and all by himself, ah? Isn’t Deidara meant to be watching him or something?”

“Probably returning for a mission” Kakuzu grunted, his arms crossing as he narrowed a scolding gaze at his partner; “remember what I told you...”

“Yeah, yeah” the cultist griped; “don’t worry, I won’t kill Leader-sama’s dopey little pet, alright?” he sighed, his hand clutching his weapon as he strolled to and kicked open the door.

“Not unless he pisses me off, anyway...”

Chapter Text

“Wah! Hidan-san! What a surprise to see you here! Ano! Have you seen Deidara-san? Maa~aa, where could he be? Maa~ I hope that Sasuke boy hasn’t killed him yet...”

Feeling a nerve twinge at his temple, the urge to slice Pein’s bizarre choice in operative straight down the middle growing by the second, the crimson eyes ninja grumbled curses under his breath until he reached the flailing man who was still (despite them continuing to fall) trying to put the Yugakure defectors wards back upon the trunk.

“Ugh! Just leave them already you useless, feckless atheist” the cultist snarled, the blades of his weapon whistling through night air to slice where rapidly gesturing hands had been seconds earlier.

“Aaahhhhh!! Hidan-san! Please don’t!”

“Then get the fuck out of here before I...”

“Wait! Please wait! Tobi is a good-boy...”

“Tobi will be a pile of freshly chopped guts on the altar of Jashin-sama if he doesn’t piss off!” the other snarled; “seriously! We’re trying to have an enjoyable evening with good food and a better fuck so, if you’d be so kind...”

“Eh? Oh! Then it’s a good job I stopped by~!” the orange-masked male declared, his body striking a valiant pose; “I just put down a bunch of dogs making their way through the forest~” he sing-songed, a darker edge coating that childish tone. “Ooh... you’re not getting careless now, are you, Hidan-san?”

“Tch, as if you’re anyone to criticise me” the pale haired ninja snorted; “so what? We could have handled anyone heading this way...”

“Ah, but the question is why Inuzuka clansmen are this far away from their Village and so close to...”

“Bah! What the fuck does it matter since you somehow managed to deal with them?” the uniform-less Akatsuki member sighed, his shoulders rolling as he swung the scythe up to rest at his back; “ahh-ah, you’re wasting my valuable time, you know?”

“And you could be endangering Leader-sama’s plan” the cloud-caped man tutted, his right hand wagging a disapproving finger; “so-da, so-da, what is it you’ve been doing, hmm?”

“That’s none of your concern...”

Snapping their heads to the shack’s doorway, the pair watched as Kakuzu leaned against the doorjamb, his mask and head-piece in place along with the new clothes Hidan had collected for him.

“Demo...”

“Leave” he stated, his tone firm whilst a selection of threads snaked out from between the patchwork of his leathered flesh; “don’t make me tell you again.”

“Yosh!” the enigmatic fool proclaimed with a salute; “ano... but before I go, maa, who else is in there with you... yyyaaaahhhhh!! Kakuzu-san is scary!!” he wailed, his legs spindling around the grassy floor until, with a yip, he vanished just as the chords struck the space he’d occupied at the locations where his vital organs would have been.

“Ugh, that guy gives me such a fucking head-ache” Hidan grumbled whilst turning to make his way to the other immortal; “mataku... the Inuzuka coming this way can’t be a coincidence, though” he sighed, his gaze flitting in to see their prisoner spread-eagle and laced into the floor-boards. “Maybe those old bastards were smarter than we thought, neh?”

“So it would seem” the string manipulator murmured; “I told you that this was a bad idea...”

“What? You’re fucking kidding me, Kakuzu” the younger huffed, his handsome face contorting with displeasure as they regarded each other; “I mean, come one, you can’t be that worried...”

“We’re just under two days away from the Compound” the former Takigakure nin replied, his eerie jade eyes following the gaze of his partner; “even a day later and Konoha’s forces could have...”

“Ugh! Fine” Hidan sighed dramatically. “But you’re not killing him, not yet” he insisted sternly, his scowl leaving no room for argument; “after tonight I’ll seal him in such a way that his body will appear dead in every sense an’ that’ll kill any scent that those dog-bastards were tracking” he said with a nod, his right hand grabbing his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm... that kind of suspended animation jutsu can only last for a maximum of twelve hours before it becomes lethal though, so if he dies before we get to the Compound then you can forget about fucking me for at least a month, understand?”

“Perfectly” the older stated, his left hand reaching out to snatch the other’s jaw (thusly trapping that pale hand in place) and pulling him closer; “you’re a troublesome, whiny, eccentric little brat... but you do have your uses” he murmured in a growl much closer to a purr.

“Mm? Why Kakuzu-sama, don’t you know that flattery will get you everywhere with me, hm?”

Grinning, his free hand tugging his headdress free, the older of the two Akatsuki pulled the younger in for a deep, bruising kiss as they stepped back inside, their feet easily passing over the lightly twitching captive whose hitai-ate had been knocked to the ground so that his hair fanned about his head and across his forehead like the tousled feathers of a fallen angel.

“Umm, I still haven’t paid you for the camera, have I?”

“Perhaps you could instruct Hatake on the finer points of payment while you’re at it” was the other’s reply, his throaty chuckle making Kakashi’s insides squirm at the implications.

“Thanks for the offer, but...”

“Ah, ah, ah, ‘Kashi-kun, that pretty mouth of yours needs an education” Hidan grinned wolfishly; “I’ll pull out the good futon we found while you two get naked” he chuckled, his legs virtually skipping him to the back of the singular room, his hands reaching the plastic-wrapped bundle, tearing it and throwing the bed to lay at his feet. Once done, he turned and began to strip himself, his scythe resting against the nearest wall as he watched the scene before him unfold.

“Stop struggling” Kakuzu snorted, his tendons effortlessly dragging the now towel-less man around the small table they’d been eating at, those long, elegant legs kicking out and knocking into the old yet sturdy piece of furniture to make the empty bowls clatter against the dirtied chop-sticks.

“I am really not okay with this” the newest nukenin breathed, his fingers desperately trying to dislodge the living ropes that were tightening their grip about his throat; “c-come on, i-s-s thi-s-s...”

“Heh, you’ll come to like it, you’ll see” his fellow pale haired shinobi announced, his tone sultry and deviously pleased as he slinked onto the futon that the eldest man had just stepped onto.

“Y-you said that about-t l-last time...” Kakashi hissed, his steel-grey eye narrowing accusingly when the cultist merely leered at him.

“Now, now, just like everything else in life, the first time you do something is always the hardest... ha! Pun totally intended” he laughed, his eyes crinkling with mirth whilst the older of the two immortals grunted impatiently; “ah, gomen Kakuzu-sama, we’ll get right to it” he apologised even as the alabaster skinned ninja still tried to loose the strings at his neck.

“Ah! Don’t” he hissed, his left hand snagging the thread wielder’s wrist whilst cruel fingers dug into the soft strands of his hair as sharply cut nails easily scraped against his scalp.

“Now, what you want to do is...”

“P-please, I don’t... umph!!”

Choking, his eye screwing shut as the warning “bite me and I’ll skin you alive” filtered into his ears over the thundering of his heart-beat, Kakashi struggled to breathe through his nose around his distress as the hot, salty phallus pushed his mouth wider than any jutsu and pressed past his tonsils.

“Wow, I guess you really were impatient huh?” Hidan sighed whilst lightly shaking his head; “honestly, Kakuzu-sama, you could have given the poor thing a little warning” he added whilst moving to kneel behind their prisoner, his chest pressing into a sweat-prickled, shuddering back. “Easy there, try to relax, that’s it... now, you’re going to need to swallow, here” he cooed, his right hand gently rubbing down a goose-pimpled neck, his fingers running over the slightly loosening strings as the other struggled to comply.

“There you go, now keep doing that... ah, ah, ah, don’t try to fight it... gagging will only make Kakuzu-sama want to finish faster and we don’t want that lovely nose broken now, do we?”

Whimpering, his mind screaming against what was happening to him and demanding some kind of ruthless, bloody retribution, Kakashi tried to distance himself from what was happening, was desperate not to react, and yet...

“Uummmpphhh!!”

“Um, see, it’s not so bad, right?” the cultist purred, his lips allowing eager teeth to nibble on a soft-earlobe whilst his hands began to massage the Konoha-nin’s flaccid member, his actions prompting the inexperienced male to cry out.

Growling his pleasure, the heart-stealer steadied his posture before beginning a slow, manageable thrust within the burning, slick channel, his eyes rolling in pleasure.

They’d reach the Ame Compound before the twelve hours were over...

“Uummpphhh!

“Shh, shh, shh...”

He’d make sure of it...

Chapter Text

Frowning sadly, his nimble fingers swiftly penning a missive for one of his freshly summoned crows to fly back to Konoha, Raido watched as Jiraiya split the earth with a douton technique he didn’t recognise whilst Gai and Genma solemnly placed the dead Inuzuka clansmen to rest, their faces equally grim.

“They weren’t killed by our Akatsuki quarry” the taijutsu specialist murmured whilst clapping his hands in prayer, his jet-black eyes watching as the ground softly piled over-top of them; “do you think it was the work of Iwa-nin, Jaraiya-sama? Perhaps in retribution of their comrades we found hanging in the trees?”

“Maybe” the Sage replied, his scowl thunderous as one of Gamabunta’s finest trackers returned to them from her scouting mission; “but if it was then they’ve used techniques that I’ve never seen before... I’d prefer to think that our old enemy wasn’t capable of breaking up bodies like that... there’s not a single trace of blood” he muttered. “It’s as though it’s just been sucked out... along with certain body-parts and organs” he added thoughtfully, his own head bowing at the grave when it was fully covered; when Genma placed an ANBU grave-marker, the three straightened and faced the direction they’d been travelling in.

“Mizuko, can you continue from where these guys left off?”

“Hai, boy-o” the diminutive summon nodded, her warty arm pointing westward; “eto... the rain isn’t helping...”

“Let’s be on our way then” the eldest stated, his wooden sandals propelling him back into the canopy as Raido’s feathered servant cried its ascent to the wind; “and here’s hoping that whatever found the Inuzuka didn’t find Kakashi...”

~*~*~*~

Shizune sighed as she placed a steaming cup of matcha before her friend and mentor, the worried frown hardening her features softening a fraction as Tonton gazed up at her from the writing blonde’s lap, his little snout snuffling until she rewarded him with biscuit.

“Ano, Tsunade-sama...”

“Hokage-sama, please forgive the interruption, but...”

Blinking, the pair looked away from the paperwork the Sannin had been toying with for the past hour, her lunch-tray untouched, to regard Kame-taichou after he’d appeared in a swirl of leaves, his gloved hands holding a familiar, well-aged scroll.

“No, no it can’t be...”

~*~*~*~

“Boy-o, the scent stops there!”

Halting, their bodies scattered in a line across sodden boughs and dripping autumnal-leaves, the four Konoha shinobi peered down at the hunter’s cabin, their eyes narrowing at windows and the main door whilst a steady stream of smoke swirled out of the chimney.

“Thank you for your service, Mizuko, and tell Ma an’ Pa I said ‘hi’, alright?”

Nodding, the toad vanished with a quiet pop whilst the men continued their assessment of the set-up, the heavy rain making visibility poor as it clattered atop the old, slick looking roof-tiles.

“Proceed with caution” Jiraiya murmured, his fists flexing with fingers itching to weave hand-signs; “no matter what happens, Kakashi hasn’t come this far for any of us to throw our lives away” he reminded, his body gracefully falling to land upon the wetted grass beneath them.

“Follow my lead” he instructed, his legs cautiously approaching the hut, a kunai in hand before, with a deep breath, he sprinted the short distance to the door, a hay-maker shattering the barrier to splinters as he slid in, the hopes of having the element of surprise bolstering his strategy.

“S-shit!”

Exploding in shock, the shadow-clone’s dissipated form filled the empty chamber for seconds as the real Jiraiya stood from his hiding place amidst the grass; “no...”

~*~*~*~

Pulling out the ANBU scroll, her honeyed eyed searching through the names written there, Tsunade felt her legs go weak as she sat back heavily in her chair.

“His name, it’s...”

Placing a hand to her mouth whilst Shizune leaned over the scroll, the women stared in muted horror at the blurred lettering that, unlike the vivid red of its compatriots, was a dull, faded brown.

“This only happens after five hours” Kame stated blankly, his voice a touch more gravelly than it had been the day before; “only when all hope of resuscitation and the effectiveness of reanimation jutsu’s are...”

“Don’t you think I know that?!”

Stiffening, the taichou’s masked face tilted in a bow; when his body straightened back into its at ease stance, he breathed out a low, saddened sounding “my deepest condolences, Hokage-sama, Kakashi-senpai was...”

“Eh? Kaka-sensei? What about him, baa-chan? Has he come back from his mission, yet?”

Turning as one to view the open window, the three regarded the genin-Sage-in-training whose boyish features were schooled into a look of curious confusion; taking their continued silence as an invitation, Uzumaki Naruto carefully pushed the glass further to the side (just as his sensei and mentor had always done) and slipped inside the Office.

“Ano...”

“What are you doing here?” Tsunade asked, her tone dull; “haven’t you got training to finish?”

“I...”

“Are you ready to defend yourself against the Akatsuki now?” she cut through, a darkening of her aura making the other members of the room flinch at potency of the chakra oozing off her form. “Are you ready for Jiraiya to teach you about the uses of oil? Can you harness of the power of the kyuubi?”

“Baa-chan...”

“Kakashi is dead, Naruto!” she seethed, her fists smashing the desk into kindling before flipping the scroll to slam into the (thankfully well-trained and prepared) ANBU Captain; “he’s dead, murdered, most likely brutally, by the fiends targeting the jinchuuriki” she continued, her body virtually teleporting to stand in front of him, her right hand clutching the front of the wide-eyed boy’s jacket.

“Tsunade-sama, don’t...”

“Now you listen to me” the Hokage hissed, the sting of tears burning her eyes reflecting in the beads of water dribbling down the Uzumaki’s whiskered cheeks; “I have lost too much, too many people who I’ve loved to see the same thing happen to you, do you understand?!”

“B-ba-a-chan...”

Releasing the clothing, her arms instead encircling the teenager in a fierce embrace which was returned with a choked out cry, the older blonde buried her face into the boy’s shoulder as his hands fisted into the haori she wore.

~*~*~*~

“By Kami-sama...”

Dried blood and other fluids coated the chamber; there was a larger, darker patch of red pooled at the centre of a futon at whose top, its fabric similarly stained, was a slashed Konoha hitai-ate amidst a scattering of silver hair.

Falling to his knees, his shoulders trembling, Gai turned away from the sight whilst fighting to compose himself; at the doorway, Genma leaned against Raido heavily whilst outside, the rain bouncing off and away from them, Jiraiya quietly conversed with another toad-summon, his back to the hunting-lodge.

“I see” he breathed, his eyes softening; “thank you for the update Sho, tell Tsunade that we’ll be heading back soon, I just want to check a few things out... mm, and ask Shin to see if he can find my old Ame students” he added before standing up from his crouch. “If the Akatsuki have been snooping around near his territory than Yahiko will know about it... that, and at the very least, Nagato should be able to sense them if we give him a good enough description” he said, his shoulders straightening.

“If Kakashi’s death is going to teach me anything, then perhaps it’ll be to get back in touch with the precious people I’ve wandered off from in life” he sighed, his hand offering a gentle wave when the child-sized toad vanished to its mountain home.

And speaking of Mount Myoboku...

“Minna” he called as he slowly walked back to them; “I know that it’s hard and, by Kami-sama, I don’t want to do it” he continued, his voice strained. “But we need to investigate the area, just in case...”

“This could be a t-trick” Genma breathed, his voice heavy with regret. “They could have...”

“The ANBU scroll has confirmed it” the Sage interrupted, his tone gentle. “As awful as it is to believe, Kakashi is dead and those bastards have completely covered their tracks... so aside from checking to see if he left us any clues before he died, our best course of action is to re-group at the Village” he announced, his obsidian eyes narrowing on the shack.

“When we get home, we’ll pay our respects properly and I’ll take Naruto to see my Master” he stated, his body carefully pushing past the numbly standing couple to lay a calming hand upon the kneeling taijutsu specialists shoulder.

“Their leader has crazy eyes” Gai said by way of greeting, a quaking hand holding up a piece of blood encrusted paper as he gritted his teeth and allowed his tears to fall.

“Their leader has crazy eyes... and I will knock them out of his villainous head!” he snarled, his head snapping backwards as he howled: “Kakashi! I swear that your sacrifice will not be in vain! This I promise on my life and my honour!” he screamed, his free-hand snatching up the bloodied hitai-ate.

“The spring-time of my youth means nothing now... no, all that’s left is the winter of my rage...”

Chapter Text

“Aaahhhh... ah! W-what... what the fucking-hell... did you... do to me?!”

Grinning madly, his crimson eyes watching as the previously grey, lifeless body he’d had Pein’s minions bring in through the proper channels (the dead coming here was customary, after all, thank you Leader-sama) started to flush with life, Hidan couldn’t help the trill of triumph that left him. Then, the other’s flailing becoming more manic and uncoordinated in his distress, the cultist placed a steadying hand on that panicking chest to effectively press his prisoner into the emperor-sized bed that swamped the plush bedroom within their Ame accommodation.

“Easy, take it easy, ‘Kashi-kun” he soothed; “coming back from limbo is fucking weird, nah?”

Stuttering, the room spinning around him, the Konoha-nin closed his eye and struggled to drag air into aching, painful lungs; the last thing he remembered, his captors had abused his mouth before setting onto each other, their coupling far more violent than how either of them had previously treated him.

He shuddered at the memory, his empty stomach churning as images of them snarling and writhing across the futon he’d been forced to kneel next to flitted across his mind’s eye and, along with those obscene flashes of sound and colour, a piece of paper... paper and a chip of charcoal that he’d used and crammed into a knotty floor-board.

Shit, if only he’d been able to learn more...

“Wh-here?” he tried to breath, the cramp plaguing his limbs finally starting to ease as he shuddered and twitched, the sound of his heart thundering through sluggish veins and arteries slowly lessening whilst he continued to gasp and drink in the air around him.

“Why, your new home, of course” was the smug reply, the fingers of the hand upon his chest tapping an idle tune; “I don’t know how we did it, but we somehow shaved off a whole day’s worth of travel... although, when you’re as strong as we are, you don’t have to run at full-speed all the time, I guess” he hummed, his demeanour calm even whilst continuing to assess his patient’s status.

“W-what... what did you...”

“Mm? Oh, it was nothing, really” the younger man chuckled; “just a little mix of my piss-stained homeland’s secret binding technique and a gift from Jashin-sama, that’s all” he admitted with a little, nonchalant shrug. “What you should be asking is what can I do to repay your kindness, Hidan-sama?” he purred, a leer morphing that grinning face into something quite worrying (since he couldn’t, at the moment, even control his muscles, let along defend himself).

“K-kindness...” he coughed hoarsely; “I...”

“Yes, kindness” the Yugakure defector snorted with a stretch before, much to Kakashi’s displeasure, he moved to lie alongside him, their bodies equally naked and staring up at a bland, sand-stone coloured ceiling. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be a rotting, eye-less body with a hole in its chest... hell, wolves would probably be tearing you apart by now” he added before yawning, his right arm snaking under the still jerking shinobi’s neck so that the last Hatake’s trembling head could be levered up and onto his shoulder.

Anyone looking upon them would think they were a couple resting in the comfort of each other’s company.

That thought made the Konoha-nin want to claw the bastard’s face off...

“M-my h-hero” he tried to sneer, the uncontrollable spasms slowly ebbing as he started to feel his fingers and toes, the ability to breath becoming, similarly, less difficult.

“You’re welcome” the cultist replied with no sense of shame or irony whatsoever; “mm, I’d save your strength if I were you, I had to drain a pint or two of blood before we left...”

“W-wha-at?!” he gasped, his eye closing again as the ceiling spun, the migraine spooling behind the Sharingan doubling in intensity; “w-why?”

“Well, we had to create a convincing display for your little friends now, didn’t we? Heh, that futon looked like a horror-movie prop once I’d finished with it” he close to giggled. “Da-na, I’m not sure exactly how they were able to follow us so well but I know for damned sure that they’ll not bother looking for you now because you were dead, clinically a fucking-goner and for twelve hours no less” he offered, his tone slaked with contentment.

Wait... Friends? Oh Gods, oh no! No, they hadn’t killed more of his Village’s people, not because of him...

“Re-lax, will you?” Hidan chuckled, his right hand gently strumming the other’s goose-pimpled shoulder and the upper most part of his quaking arm in the mock of a loving gesture; “I might be a worshipper of death through the glory of Jashin-sama, but I’m not stupid enough to take on a Sannin, let alone that warty, old toad guy...” he said, his tone becoming thoughtful.

“Oi, you two related?”

“N-no... my f-father was-s... hi-s n-a-kama...” he breathed, his relief evident despite himself as he sagged into the soft, plush furnishings of the modern bed he assumed he was on; Kami-sama, he was so tired.

“Mm, you seem to be coming around nicely” the cultist murmured through his own yawn; “and since you’ll not be able to sit up, much less walk properly until tomorrow, there’s no harm in taking a nap together, right?” he furthered, his eyelids closing.

“Nah, but on the off chance that you do try something stupid, I’ll break your wrists and ankles while I fuck you without lube, okay?”

Huffing, Kakashi just grunted his acknowledgment, his trembling now only a fraction of what it had been as the darkness swallowed him; the feel of a warm body next to his own (no matter how hated) helped to lull him off into a strange, misty-setting where he was dressed in that same damned kimono the fiend had tied him into the other day.

”Ugh... even in my dreams I’m stuck” he grumbled to the wide, endless void, his body floating as though he’d been submerged in a scentless, warming onsen; “maa, why couldn’t I just be unconscious...”

“Kakashi!”

Blinking, the last Hatake turned sluggishly, both of his eyes peering into the near darkness as dread coiled in his belly; “no” he close to whimpered, “not you, not now” he pleaded, his gaze narrowing on the bloodied figure coming into view.

“Kakashi!”

“Rin...” he swallowed, his eyes widening when the gore vanished and his friend, not the kunoichi he’d murdered, stood just a handful of metres away from him, her hands clutched together as she stared at him, her face awash with worry.

No... this wasn’t how the usual nightmare went...

“Kakashi...”

Regarding her carefully, his legs refusing to move, the silver haired ninja blinked; “Rin... I... is it really you?” he asked. He had, according to Hidan, been trapped in a limbo-like state; maybe he’d somehow, even though he was conscious now, partially crossed into that mid-way point Sarutobi-sensei used to tell them about during religious studies at the Academy.

“Kakashi...” she repeated, her hands now moving to rest over her heart whilst crystal tears beaded her eyes and scattered all around her; “Obito!” she cried, her head shaking as the last Hatake felt his hopes sink.

So this was just another nightmare; hell, he shouldn’t have been surprised...

“Kakashi!”

Snapping his head to the girl’s right, his jaw hanging open, the scarred shinobi slowly shook his head in denial; “sensei...”

“Kakashi” he sighed and, by Kami-sama, he looked just the same, just as real and warm as he had been when he was alive; watching on, the Yondaime’s handsome face became riddled with concern as he looked upon him, his arm outstretched but unable to bridge the gap between them.

“W-hat are you trying to tell me?” he asked, his eyes narrowing; “what do you want?”

“Obito” the blonde echoed, his arm lowering to gently bring Rin to his side. “Kakashi... you can still save him...” Minato said; “you can save each other...”

“But...”

“I’m sorry!” Rin screamed, her knees giving way.

“What?”

“I’m so proud of you... don’t give up...”

“Sensei...”

“I love you! I’m so...I’m so sorry!”

“Rin...”

“Obito!” they cried and, just like that, the last Hatake sat up, the feeling of hands lifting and pushing him the only thing he could focus on until, his eye widening sharply, he found himself staring at the swirling orange mask of the man only known as Tobi, his lips parting in a breathy, exhausted gasp.

Chapter Text

Prowling down the corridors of the upper-floors Nagato had set aside for them as their base of operations and personal quarters, Obito found his feet carrying him through walls and doors intermittently, his mind clearly elsewhere even as Zetsu struggled to keep up.

“Ano-sa, ano-sa, I promise you that it’ll be worth it...”

Growling, his artificial hand balling into a fist, all the Uchiha wanted to do was return to his apartment, drink and forget about the Inuzuka’s and their pathetic, worthless screaming.

“Come on...”

“You said four days...”

“Maa~ maa~ it should have been” the ebony and ivory being tittered; “but, since you’ve been such a good-boy...”

“This is ridiculous... why the hell should I care about, let alone meet, the latest little fuck-toy those pair will tear up between them?” he growled, his feet (for reasons unknown to him) steering towards the zombie-combo’s residence. He knew, of course, that Kakuzu (his aura one of rolling thunder) had been summoned to speak with Pein in the Conference room whilst Konan was seeing to other, lesser matters on the lower levels. Therefore, with all other members of the organisation out completing one mission or another, only Hidan stood between him and whatever present the creature wished to bestow upon him.

“Nah, Obito, you’re going to wish you hadn’t been so mean to me when you see” the cactus-like chakra being commented, its multi-tonal face warped by a grin; “ah! Through here, through here!” it chirped, those gold orbs closing for a second before they snapped open, a finger rushing to it skinny-lips. “Shh!” it admonished whilst, unseen, the Uchiha rolled his eyes; “they’re sleeping!”

Snorting, the man (his Tobi disguise firmly in place), strolled through the wall, turned and stopped dead in his tracks when his Sharingan all but pulled his head to find its long-lost twin.

“What...” he breathed.

“Surprise!” Zetsu cooed in a poorly quieted stage whisper, its hands waving excitedly; “didn’t he grow up fine, umm? He even looks lovely with all of those bruises and bite-marks...” it commented with a series of nods. “Neh, neh... I bet your teeth-prints would look much better on his neck though... aww, but he isn’t wearing that pretty gown I saw him in” it sighed, a weird parody of pout marring its face. “Gomen... you’re meant to gift wrap presents, aren’t you?”

No longer listening to the drivel Zetsu was spouting, Obito found himself utterly transfixed, his body moving of its own accord to sit on the large bed, his dojutsu roaming all over that exquisite, sleep softened face before looking down at a marbled chest, tapered waist and long, supply legs.

He was stunning and, without realising it, Obito was removing the glove of his good hand to reach out before, to their combined shock, the last Hatake sat up, his back ramrod straight as they looked at each other; he’d bet a million ryo that their expressions were virtually identical.

Gods, he could almost feel his loaned Sharingan widen beneath that milky, sealed eyelid.

“You...”

The spell broken, the Uchiha felt a tidal wave of sheer, unadulterated rage build up inside him as his brain finally on-lined; Kakashi had been at the mercy of his Organisation’s most deviant perverts, his body, a body that should never have been touched in such a way, was littered with their marks, their demands, their pleasure.

It was unacceptable...

“Oi? What the fuck are you gwahhh!”

Hidan, his face contorted incredulously, was immobilised in milliseconds, those crimson eyes of his shrunken and unseeing as he collapsed back onto the covers; watching on, his soft, bruised lips parting whilst he panted, the silver haired jonin could only blink in astonishment when a hand was offered to him.

“Get up and come with me” a deep, serious voice (not the dopey, light-hearted one he’d used when they’d first met those few months ago) commanded as battle toughened fingers quirked to prompt him.

“I...” the Konoha shinobi breathed, his body awkwardly shuffling; “ugh... I’ve been dead” he said lamely, a broken chuckle leaving him at the ridiculousness of it all. “I... I can’t really... whoa!”

He wasn’t sure when he’d moved (or why Kakashi resting in the safety of his arms felt so right) but, before he knew it, he was marching his way out of the room with a delightedly grinning Zetsu in tow; “ooohhhhh... Kakuzu-san’s gonna be so mad... neh, did you kill Hidan-san? Umm? Do you want me to dispose of the evidence?”

“Leave them for now, they still have a purpose to serve” was the answer, his hands tightening their grip on the other thirty year old who was fidgeting and trembling as they seamlessly morphed through the modern, architectural structure. “When Hidan awakes, he’ll have no knowledge of my presence, so contact Nagato and have him deal with the fall-out” he added gruffly; “tell him that extracting the Sharingan was a necessity and that the body has been disposed of” he furthered.

At the words, his complexion all the paler, Kakashi felt what little strength he had leech out of him, his head lolling onto a firm, broad shoulder as he closed his eye and resigned himself to his doom.

So this was it? This was how he’d die... not as a corpse being torn apart by wolves, not as a broken sex-toy with a hole in his chest, but as a piece of trash, a wrapper for a dojutsu and a promise he could no longer protect.

Somewhere, he thought, Obito must be yelling wildly at him for being so fucking careless, so damned stupid.

Bakashi indeed...

“Wakata” Zetsu intoned, its body sinking its tendril-like appendages into the nearest wall and merging into it; “shall I say you’re not to be disturbed?”

“Hai” the Akatsuki leader stated, his form shifting into a stairwell to begin his ascent even as Madara’s most versatile servant bowed and scurried downwards; with any luck, running those errands would keep the creature out of his hair for a while.

“When did you eat last?” he found himself asking when they were alone, his apartment door providing little resistance as they crossed the threshold, the wards glowing brightly at his guests presence as they acknowledged the jonin's DNA and began knitting it into the seals which guarded the room and ensconced its contents.

“W-what? Why would you bother asking me that?” the last Hatake snipped, his useless (so fucking useless) fingers sluggishly flexing, the knuckles still purpled after so many hours of being tied and restrained; “why waste food since you’re going to dispose of me?”

“If I’d wanted you dead, you would be” was the blithe reply, that dark voice sending chills down Kakashi’s spine; “if you’d prefer to live then you’ll learn to do what I tell you, when I tell you, understood?”

“And if I refuse? I’m getting a little sick of being a plaything for you people to toy with...”

“You’re weak” the other cut in, his arms dropping the other man (who hissed despite himself) onto the small couch which looked out at the five, floor-to-ceiling windows which loomed over the drizzle coated, industrial Village below. “So you’ll either learn or I’ll break you” he furthered, his hands gripping slender shoulders in a strong, unforgiving grip as they gazed at their reflections; “Konoha no longer matters, your old life is over” he continued, his fingers digging into teeth-mark peppered flesh until the other squirmed. “I am your master now and, until such a time comes that you’re no longer necessary to what I want, what I need to do to save this Godless world from itself, you’ll be staying here” he confirmed, a smirk tugging his lips when the other winced.

“Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand” the jonin breathed; “but whether I’ll comply is a whole other story” he bit out, a keen wringing itself from his throat when those lethal fingers pinched him, the pressure being exerted on his body becoming too much to bear.

“Oh, I think you’ll comply, alright” he chuckled, his left hand shifting to pull his mask free, a cold, menacing smirk tugging his lips when Kakashi jerked violently at the revelation, his whole body seizing in shock even when a handful of his hair was roughly grabbed to pull his head back.

“No... no you... you can’t be...” he close to whimpered, his slate-grey eye wide and unbelieving.

“Welcome to the fold, Bakashi..."

Chapter Text

This... this was insane...

“What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”

Struggling to pull his body into some kind of sitting position against the firm, designer-stiffened cushions, Kakashi was torn between laughing hysterically and crying his eyes out like the baby he’d always accused Obito of being.

The irony wasn’t lost on him.

“W-where hav-e you b-een...” he found himself asking, his dulled eye trying to focus on the man who’d released him after the revelation, turned away from the windows (and the view) to stroll back into the apartment. “A-all thi-s-s time... we thought...”

“I was dead? Like Rin, you mean?”

Eye screwing shut, rivulets of tears streaming from his sealed eye as he grit his teeth, the paler of the two former Konoha nin tried to regulate his breathing; “I...”

“You were meant to protect her” was the blunt, cold reply; “but I suppose that was asking too much of you, hn?”

“I-I... tri-ed...”

“You failed” the other snapped, the sound of a bottle being harshly pulled from a cupboard (the glass jangling its compatriots) momentarily filling the air; “not that I’m surprised... no one can be saved in this hellish reality, not really” he added, his tone dull whilst glasses clattered and clinked.

“Y-you don’t under-s-stand... Rin, she...”

“Oh, I understand plenty... I was there.”

Sucking in a deep, shuddering breath, Kakashi nearly jerked to the floor when the words sunk in and the man who’d been his team-mate, his friend sat down beside him, a glass of something strong smelling suddenly shoved under his sensitive nose.

“U-ugh... y-you, I don’t...” he choked, his still unresponsive body trying sluggishly to pull away; “don’t...”

“Don’t what?” the Uchiha sneered; “don’t touch you? Don’t talk to you? Don’t offer you a drink?” he continued, his body sliding closer, the drink (closer to paint-stripper than anything he could imagine a person drinking to enjoy it) pressing against protesting lips. “Or maybe you don’t want me to tell you about that blood-soaked night, neh? How the Kiri-nin were chasing you, how she was pleading not to go back to the Village?”

“H-how c-an y-ou...”

“Do you think you earned that Mangekyou through merit, hmm? Or that you just passed out thanks to exhaustion, despair, perhaps?”

Curling away from the scarred man as much as he could, the sofa-arm effectively trapping him and his useless form until, with a strangled noise of protest, he was pulled into the other’s side in a strange type of possessive embrace (much the same as Hidan had done only hours ago), the glass at his mouth once more.

“Have a sip” the other ordered. “You look like you need it...”

“W-what I need...” Kakashi breathed, this pseudo closeness the cruellest thing he’d experienced so far; “is to... to wake-up from... all... all of this...” he murmured brokenly, his face pulling away from that foul smelling brew. “You’re alive... you’re fucking alive... aren’t you? You’re here... you’ve been here and I... you bastard, you fucking bastard... How? Do you even know what I’ve had... had to go through?” he stuttered, his body shaking with feelings beyond the bone-deep tiredness and emotional fatigue that being abducted and raped and...

“Have a drink...”

“Gwah... fff... oh God t-that’s vile...” the younger spat, some of the liquor dribbling at the corner of his mouth; sending his sluggish tongue to take care of the matter, the silver haired ninja blinked when a thumb rubbed the moisture away before strong fingers coaxed his chin to turn so they could look at each other.

“You look like hell” Obito commented, the surreal purple of the dojutsu he’d found to replace the Sharingan Kakashi had received all those years ago making the jonin feel increasingly uneasy; “would it help if I told you that I know what you’ve been through? That I’ve watched you lay flowers for Rin, for me?”

“No...”

“Oh yes, watching you has become quite the guilty pleasure of mine and, I’ll admit, there were times when I wanted to approach you... times I imagined what you’d say or how you’d react” he mused lightly, his lips quirking into a sardonic grin. “But every time I just swelled up with this rage” he said, his fingers tightening lightly (to the other’s credit, he didn’t flinch) as those mismatched eyes narrowed; “but not at you, never at you, not really... No, no it is the world, this hideous, imperfect world where Rin can die and you can be brought so low, your body covered in the marks of men, men who aren’t me...”

“W-what...”

“Isn’t it only fair, Bakashi, that you fill her place? You’re the one who took her away, even if you didn’t mean to...”

Blinking, his eyelid fluttering rapidly, Kakashi felt his body betray him as he blushed despite himself whilst the Uchiha advanced; he was suddenly aware of how naked he was and who he was with...

“Obito...”

“This world is coming to an end” he stated, his hands (one warm and gentle, the other strange and harsh) moving to cup the last Hatake’s face; “I can’t think of any better person to spend these final months with... not that I planned this, not that I’d wish for you to be touched by them” he furthered grimly before pulling back slightly, his frown softening.

“But you’ll not like what I have to do” he predicted; “no, you’re too invested in this place as it is... you never were open minded and you aren’t now, no matter how much you’ve mellowed... no, those kids of yours, you’ll be blinded by Sensei’s boy, Sensei’s ideals...”

“Naruto, you...”

“Which means that I’ll have to keep you here, that you’ll have to learn to do as you’re told for once” he added, his tone strangely amused; “’s funny that I should be the one instructing you for now on, isn’t it? Considering I made for such a terrible shinobi... the class-clown paired with the class-prodigy...”

“That’s not...”

Snorting, his hands releasing their grip to quiet him with a gesture, the Akatsuki leader pushed himself away, picked up the glass he’d forced on Kakashi (from where it’s been placed between them), downed its contents and reached for his own (which sat at his feet) to do the same.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said that you’ll call me master, by the way” he stated firmly, his gaze assessing the beautiful, ethereal apparition ghosting in the glass which shielded them from the rain, from heaven’s tears. “In formal situations anyway... Nagato will know that you’re here and I conduct a great deal of personal business in this compound so you will pay me the respect I deserve and not use that name for me anymore” he sighed, the rinnengan shifting to narrow on him.

“I am Madara now, say it.”

Swallowing, his lethargic mind trying to process everything all at once (a struggle, he thought, even if he’d been on top form), Kakashi nodded slightly (this man was not the boy he knew, this man.... “you can still save him”... was powerful, dangerous and had moods that seemed to swing on a dime).

“Y-you’re Madara” he acknowledged, his tone slurring now more from the fatigue his spiked adrenaline crash had brought on (or the emotional break-down that would surely hit him any second now); “w-would it be... too much to ask... master... if I could... have some clothes?”

Chuckling, his body standing (tall, strong, imposing) Obito lightly kicked the glasses he’d placed on the marbled tiles to skitter under the couch and out of his way; “let’s get you cleaned up first” he reasoned, that strange gaze resting on the slumped posture of his soon-to-be conquest once more.

“Then we’ll see about getting back that gown Zetsu was talking about, neh?”

Chapter Text

Having a bath, he’d once read, was meant to be a relaxing experience...

“You-u scream-med...” his former team-mate laughed, his right hand pointing at the sudsy-mess he found himself rushing towards; “li-ke... a... a little girl... ha! Oh, oh wow... that’s just...”

Scowling, his sponge (which he’d launched at the thing that’d manifested out of the bubble-crested water he’d been dozing in (the first quasi-real peace he’d had in days), its weird smile dribbling foam as it tried to talk) now a sad parody of a soft, useless shuriken bleeding on the wood-slats of the onsen-like room, Kakashi could only glare.

“Oh yes” he dead-panned; “fucking hilarious” he added, his throwing hand sinking back into the water to splash at the sodden-cloak wearing bastard that swamped the other side of the wide, cast-iron tub, its tendrils spilling over the sides; it was lucky that this was a steam-room with drains, he supposed.

“Meh... Bakashi, aren’t baths meant to be a social experience in Konohagakure’s culture, neh?” Zetsu asked, its warped head cocking to the side in curiosity; “maa~aa and you certainly ran in here fast enough too, Obito...”

“For a second I thought that Kakuzu may have slinked through the drain-pipes, that’s all” the Akatsuki leader snorted, his arms crossed over the black of his long-sleeved t-shirt, his bare-feet rippling the puddles of moisture that were sluggishly making their way towards one of the two grated-drains.

“Please don’t tell me that he can do that” the jonin said, his slate-grey eye narrowing the tub’s fixtures and fittings as though tendons would start snaking out of them at any moment.

“Kakuzu-san can utilize four hearts at once to travel short distances through small tunnels and the like” the ichors being commented, his head flopping to the other side; “hmm, but I don’t think he’s capable of that kind of dexterity whereas I, on the other-hand...”

“Why are you here and harassing my honoured guest? Heh, that’s what Ibiki says, isn’t it?”

“When he’s feeling particularly ironic, yes” Kakashi replied, his hands reaching for the face-flannel his host had provided him with, his battle practised hands putting it to use as he steadfastly refused to acknowledge the thing watching him.

“What’s an Ibiki?”

“Zetsu...”

“Yari-yari... umm, I came with a report... ah, I mean two” it claimed, a wet hand holding up fingers ready to count off; “the first, you’ve had a lovely funeral” it said, golden eyes zeroing in on the younger shinboi’s face, its smile broadening. “Lots of people came, uh-hn, there were flowers and sake and ... ahh, they’ve even written your name next to his on that stone you like so much... da-na, the old, wart faced guy has gone off with their jinchuuriki too...”

“Where?” Obito asked sharply, both Akatsuki either not caring or not bothering to observe the last Hatake as he slid further into the water, his nose just above the bubbles whilst he closed his eye and tried to think about other things.

“Can’t say” Madara’s most faithful servant offered with a shrug which jostled the warm water surrounding him; “it felt like a summoning jutsu only they weren’t there when the seal finished activating...”

“Heh, so Jiraiya has taken him to that place, hmm? No matter, even two Sage’s will be nothing to Pein” he stated, his tone confident; “and the second report?”

“Ano-sa, ano-san, it’s funny you should bring Leader-sama up because he is the second report” it tittered gleefully. “Hidan-san picked a fight with him over Bakashi being dissected which, after smashing up the training-ground, has put our resident cultist firmly in the medical-wing with a very grumpy Kakuzu-san keeping watch” it said before throwing an obvious, poorly staged wink at a carefully neutral looking Kakashi. “So much for not being special, neh?”

“Have they threatened to leave?” the Uchiha asked, his form a touch more rigid; “we’ve already lost Sasori and Deidara with three bijuu still left to collect” he said, his tone grim. “As temperamental as they can be, the zombie-combo are two of our best... hn, and with Itachi indisposed at the moment, their allegiance is something I’d prefer to keep” he continued thoughtfully, his tone quiet and spoken more for himself than anyone else.

“Hmm, using genjutsu might be the only way forward...”

“Why not just give him back then, neh?” Zetsu inquired; “ano, they didn’t seem to mind sharing with each other, so maybe you could...”

“Kakashi is not to be taken from this room and you are not to speak of his presence here, do you understand?”

“Maa~aa, you’re so much like him when you shout whilst Mama is usually so quiet, so softly spoken” the ichors monster whined; “ma-ta-ku, I can’t have much fun with that now, can I?” he sighed whilst slumping into the bath, its form diminishing in increments. “Guess I’ll go back to my post then since, if you’re not going to share with humans, then you’ll definitely not share with me...”

Watching it go, his knees still curled up to his chest (just in case), the former Konoha-nin sighed to himself softly, the sound of Obito padding towards him on wetted tiles echoing around the steamy chamber doing little to put his mind at rest.

“They’ll not be touching you again...”

“Would you like for me to say, thank-you, master?” he asked curtly, his eye glaring at the spot where the bizarre being had been just moments before; “or, maybe, you want some kind of payment in exchange for your protection?”

“Oh, you’ll be paying for your keep alright, don’t you worry about that” was the calm, firm reply as a towel was placed over his head; “you can still cook, can’t you?”

Blinking, his head turning to regard his benefactor, Kakashi felt incredulity pull his face into a deadpanned expression. “You want me to cook for you?” he asked; “really?”

“Isn’t home-making one of the most essential parts of being a wife?”

“The fuck did you just say?!”

“You’re partly blind, not deaf” the Uchiha snorted, a pleased grin playing on his lips; “I think you’ll look pretty cute in a frilly apron...”

“You cannot be serious...” the silver haired ninja breathed, his cheeks pinking in outrage as he continued to sit where he was, the invitation to stand and receive a second towel going staunchly ignored.

“Can’t I?” the ebony haired Akatsuki leader chuckled. “I’ve seen the kimono, by the way...”

“I’m not wearing that, either...”

“Umm? Oh, so you want to walk around naked? Well, that’s fine by me but you did ask for clothes...”

“Obito” he snapped, his scowl livid; “I know that you hate me, I don’t blame you for hating me but is it too much to ask for just a little human decency? All I want are some fucking clothes...”

“And you can have some, dear” the heavily scarred male said, his tone the epitome of sweetness as he grabbed the other’s arm and effortlessly pulled him to stand, a rush water sloshing at the motion; “but you’ll wear what I say and do what I say because, unlike years ago, I’m the one who is in control here, I’m the one in charge, not you...”

“Don’t talk to me as though I ever lauded anything over you... I only ever tried to help...”

“Yes, I realise that now... or, rather, after Kannabi-Bridge, the first day we ever, ha, saw eye to eye” the older stated, his mismatched gaze burrowing into Kakashi’s singular grey one; “but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to show you how strong I am, what I’ve become, to prove to you that I’m far more than just your match, that I am superior” he breathed, his hand tightening its grip. “It’s taking every ounce of willpower I have not to throw you onto these tiles and fuck you until you scream your submission” he added, his grin turning feral when his captive paled a little.

“So I suggest that you get dried and meet me in the bedroom before I change my mind and make a bigger mess all over this floor...”

Chapter Text

Leaving his guest to get dried and (potentially, if this little exchange lasted longer than he hoped) dressed (sadly, the beautiful (and it really was; who’d have thought Hidan would have such good taste?) kimono was in need of cleaning before wear) in the spare pair of pyjama pants he’d left out on the bed, Obito closed his eyes and focused on the shadow-clone Tobi skipping to the medical ward.

“Maa~aa, Kakuzu-san!” he called out, his mission to retrieve Kakashi’s outfit and deliver it to the dry-cleaners within Ame Village a success. Now, his chakra emitting just how pleased he was with himself, he waved ecstatically at the cross-armed shinobi who stood at the foot of the only occupied bed within the six-berth chamber: “I’ve just heard what happened~ is Hidan-san okay~?”

“Get lost” the string wielder grunted, those pupil-less eyes narrowed and dangerous; “you’re not welcome here...”

“Ehh? Ano... Kakuzu-san, I only wanted to see...”

“You’ll be seeing Jashin-sama if you’re not careful” an equally menacing voice snapped, the words drawing the orange-masked face to view the head of the bed where an incredibly disgruntled looking cultist was lounging, his right arm in a cast and a bandage wrapped about his forehead.

“Aww~ but I’ve asked the kitchen to make you spare-ribs~” he sang, his fingers waving in time with the tune; “I know that they’re you favourite... eto, Leader-sama is much too important to try and make amends, too, so...”

“Oh, I see how it is” the crimson eyed ninja sneered; “he’s realised our value to his little cause, has he?”

“Nah... I don’t think that saving the world is such a small thing, Hidan-san...”

“Heh, whatever” the bedridden man huffed, his eyes closing; “yari-yari, just have one of those freaked out Villager’s bring me my ribs and fuck-off, will you?”

“Hai, hai, I’ll get right on it~” he chirped with a salute, his consciousness failing to clock how fixedly the thread manipulator was staring at his arms and shoulders; “get better soon, Hidan-san~!”

Snorting, the shadow-clone dissipating in a puff of vapour to the grumbling patient’s snort of “bastard can’t even send his actual pet to apologise for his stupid, dickish behaviour”, Obito couldn’t bear witness to Kakuzu’s lightning fast reflexes as he snatched at the fading mist.

“Ugh! This is so pathetic! First I get what had to be the best sacrifice I was ever going to find for Kami-sama snatched off of me and desecrated in a heathenistic butchering which probably lacked any kind of finesse” he grumbled, his unbroken hand counting off the offenses he’d suffered. “Then I get my ass kicked by him and two of his creepy, clueless, cronies before that guy just dances his way in here and pawns me off with ribs when I’m fucking starving and he knows the food here is awesome” he snapped, his sneer darkening.

“Ooh... I had such plans, such wonderful, bloody plans for that body...” he mourned, his eyes closing as he gestured dramatically (and therefore totally missed the narrowing of Kakuzu’s eyes whilst he studied his catch). “And now all we have are those photos, those obscenely beautiful photos... ugh! This is so unfair! We didn’t even get to spit-roast him before... oi! Oi! Are you even listening to...”

“No one else, besides you, has pale hair in this place, do they?”

“Eh?” the younger gawped; “what do you...”

Approaching the bed, his fingers holding a few silvery strands for the other’s inspection, the oldest immortal then brought them closer to his face’s mask; “I saw them laying on his shoulder when he bounced in here... they smell like you but the shade, length and cut is all wrong... but why would he be scattered with them, hm?” he furthered as Hidan’s eyes widened in understanding.

“Perhaps our Hatake is not as dead as we’ve been lead to believe...”

~*~*~*~

Releasing the clone just as his former team-mate entered the room, his hands still diligently rubbing the smaller of two towels through his fluffy, jagged spikes of water darkened hair, Obito watched as that singular slate-grey eye looked from the soft, charcoal-pants to him.

“Taa-daa” the ebony haired Uchiha dead-panned; “proof of my human decency, as per your request” he stated with a little shrug, his miss-matched gaze trailing over the marbled body before him (part of his mind admired the svelte muscles whilst the other railed against the purposefully placed bruises and marks).

He’d have to replace those purple smears with darker patches made by his own mouth and hands.

“Thanks” was the reply, that pretty face still wary as he padded over soft, plush carpeting to stand at the other side of an elaborately over-cushioned bed, his hand tentatively reaching for the article of clothing; “so... you were talking about cooking?”

“Hmm... it’s getting pretty late so I’d prefer to eat now instead of after” he replied blithely, his gloved, synthetic hand deliberately skirting the silken covers; “you’ll find the fridge and cupboards are well stocked since I prefer to eat here as opposed to anywhere else” he added lightly, his grin tilting when the other made to sneak the pants on under the towel pulled tight against his hips.

“What’s the matter, bashful all of a sudden?”

“Living through four days of repeated sexual assault will do that to a person” was the equally snide reply; “I really don’t like the way you’re looking at me...”

“And I don’t like that you’re wasting my time” the Uchiha huffed; “you’re not a child, Kakashi, you never have been” he added through a glare. “You’re a tool to be used, either by the Village or by someone else... and now, it just so happens to be me; however, you could always go back to them if you prefer” he threw in for good measure, any kindness is his tone long gone.

“Don’t give me any spiel about wanting something as ludicrous as freedom, you wouldn’t know what to do with that even if you had it” he reminded harshly, his leer morphing to an analytical, deeply considering look. “You’re like a ninken, no, a dog trained to its master’s wants and now, your leash in the hands of someone else, all you can think about is getting back to your old cage to wrestle with the fleas you’re familiar with” he furthered, their eyes locking; “isn’t that so?”

“I don’t know what happened to you in these past sixteen years, Madara” the younger replied whilst slowly and carefully folding the towels he’d been given; “but the boy I grew up with would have knocked your teeth out for saying such things” he stated, his tone eerily neutral as he walked back the bathroom and deposited his bundle into a laundry-wicker hamper.

“I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

Chapter Text

Dinner was, as expected, delicious.

“How the hell did you make this from tofu?”

“A good stock is the basis of any meal” the silver haired shinobi offered with a shrug, his rice bowl virtually empty whilst he drank the remainder of his miso-soup; “do you remember when Gai brought in those under-cooked dumplings for the sakura-festival fair we put together as a class?”

“Ha! Remember? We were all sick for at least three days... heh, I didn’t realise that the human body could produce that many different colours or in such quantities, either” Obito chuckled, his own dishes similarly depleted. “Who’d have thought that war was just around the corner back then, neh?”

“Are you starting another one?”

“Ooh... you’re always just so clever, aren’t you? You always know just how to get your target off guard” the Uchiha snorted, his chopsticks easily picking off the last of the grilled vegetables, swirling them back through the sauce before devouring them with a grin.

In the silence of his bedroom for the past forty-minutes, he’d had time enough to calm himself, his tormented mind sobered by the other’s parting words...

“No” he finally answered, his hands placing his eating implements down as he leaned back to review the man sat across from him; “no, what I’m going to do is end all wars... I’ve been lead to complete a quest which ensures no one else has to suffer, no one else has to die” he added, his real hand lifting to tap just under the rinnengan.

“Do you know what this is?”

“Other than creepy, you mean?”

“Heh... this is the dojutsu which first manifested with the Sage of the Six Paths” he explained, the black lines etched in the pulsing, dulled purple lazily whirring; “with this, the Sharingan and all bijuu brought together, I can unlock a jutsu strong enough to do anything” he murmured, his tone brushed with awe. “I can correct any and every mistake borne in this world, I can cross any divide, grant every desire and even bring back the dead” he stated boldly, a far-off look clouding his features whilst (trying his best to conceal it) a sceptical Kakashi watched on.

There was something so very wrong with all of this and now, his mind desperately trying to make sense of everything he’d seen and heard, the jonin was drawing a frustrated blank.

Surely things had been bad enough when a weirdly put-together team of missing-nin had banded under a blackened-sky crowded by crimson clouds to snatch jinchuuriki for profit or terrorism?

But no, life couldn’t be simple, could it?

He needed to warn the Village, had to ensure that whatever jutsu Obito seemed so infatuated with never came to fruition for, as wonderful as what the older man had said sounded, the last Hatake knew (had lived long enough to testify) that if something appeared too good to be true, it was.

Anything involving that much destructive power (hell, even one bijuu by itself could be world-ending in the right context) could be nothing else.

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

Blinking out of his thoughts, his chopsticks resting atop their whale-shaped holder, the jonin tried to relax the tell-tale stiffening of his shoulders; “I believe that you believe it” he answered carefully, his mind and instincts trying to judge how best to handle the other man.

He was at a critical disadvantage, after all; hell, who was he kidding? Even at full strength and with the borrowed Sharingan at his disposal it was clear (from his gate, stance, dojutsu and his position at the top of an S-Rank conglomerate of highly lethal ninja) that even on his best day Kakashi wouldn’t best him in a fair fight.

“Heh, it doesn’t matter what you think... there’ll be no disputing what I’m saying once it happens” he said with a light shrug followed by a gentle stretch; “it’s getting late, leave the dishes” he furthered before standing, his real hand stretched out towards his honoured guest.

Keeping his expression decidedly neutral (because running to the sealed door, locking himself in the bathroom or throwing punches would only lead to the same conclusion with a black-eye or two), the last Hatake stood and accepted the gesture, his eye widening when strong fingers laced his own so that he could be pulled along.

“You’re nervous” the raven-haired Akatsuki leader breathed as they crossed the threshold, his head never once turning back to view the paler male, his eyes fixed resolutely upon the bed; taming Kakashi was, after all, just another step towards shedding the skin of this old, imperfect world.

“I don’t want you to do this...”

“And why is that, hm?” the Uchiha asked, a jerk of his arm flinging the startled man he’d effectively trapped within his home onto the bed to stare up at him; “do you find me hideous? Does my ugly face scare you?”

“W-what? No, I...”

“Is it because you’re straight, hm? Oh, I think not, Bakashi... I remember how you used to look at Sensei...”

“I never...”

“And it can’t be because you’re in love with someone or, heaven forbid, dating” he chuckled whilst the other propped himself up on his elbows, an angry scowl marring those still purple tinged lips; “between tending to our graves, training those kids and whoring yourself out on missions, where ever would you find the time, right?”

“That’s not... how do you even...”

“Then what’s your problem?” he taunted; “for a man famous for reading soft-core porn in public you’re being awfully prudish...”

“You were my only friend, Obito! That’s why!” the younger snarled, his words angry and harsh as he went to sit up, his legs kicking him further across the bed; “no one else ever wanted anything to do with me outside of training or begging for tutelage...”

“Now that’s a lie” the rinnengan wielder hissed, his artificial hand snatching an ankle to prevent the other from scooting off of the sleek bedding onto to the floor at the opposite side; “Rin didn’t...”

“Rin had a crush on the idea of me... I’ve seen it a thousand times before, she was just looking at the reclusive genius and fantasising about opening me up, changing me...”

“Don’t you sit there and tell me that you didn’t love the attention!” the other exploded, his grip almost crushing the bones he held, the tightening of his fingers causing the younger to yowl; “don’t you fucking dare!”

“She was kind and loving and wonderful” the other admitted through a yelp; “but even if I was interested I never would have accepted her feelings...”

“You bastard! I’ll...”

“How could I when I knew that you loved her?!” the last Hatake managed to wail, his words stopping the Uchiha who was milliseconds away from smashing his ankle into a bloody-paste.

“W-what...”

“N-now who’s the one who isn’t deaf, huh?” the silver haired ninja breathed after pulling himself free so that he could bring his legs up to his chest; “I could never have done that to you...” he said, his slate-grey eye wide and shocked. “You were my friend and she would have seen past any mystique she thought I had eventually... if Kannabi Bridge had never happened, if we’d all made it home that day” he added, his tone verging on wistful. “But we didn’t... and soon both of you were dead... and Sensei... well, Sensei had Kushina-san and I had my skill-set so he buried me in ANBU, wanted me as his right-hand from the shadows where no one could see me... where no one ever did...” he sighed, his eye turning to the bedding.

“That’s why I don’t want you touch me like that... you’re the last good memory I have, Obito, you’re the reason why I changed, why I tried to be a good sensei to my students, why I hold team-work up to be so important... maa... not that it was enough for Sasuke...” he admitted bitterly.

“The Uchiha’s have caused you a lot of trouble, neh?”

Snorting, Kakashi regarded the taller man as he sat down heavily on the bed; “like you wouldn’t believe” he replied through a broken sounding chuckle, his eye closing when the other turned and caught his leg to pull him closer once more.

“Don’t...” he tried, his emotional exhaustion having drained him, his body relaxing against his will when those strange eyes looked at him and the other lay atop him, between his parted legs; “don’t...”

The lips which pressed into his own were soft and considerate whilst a tongue (gentle, questioning) quested for entrance as gloved hands rested on his pant-clad hips, their tips sinking beneath the elastic band.

This was happening...

Chapter Text

The difference in the flesh touching him was as distinct as it was unnerving...

“A-ahh... ow... ah! H-hey... w-would you... would-d you stop-p that...”

The real Obito was calloused but warm, demanding yet considerate, firm and determined...

“You didn’t make me any dessert” was the raspy response; “s’only fair you get eaten, right?”

However, the strange, synthetic material that made up his right side was smooth, bizarrely silky and lacked any kind of restraint or warmth, almost as though it had a mind all of its own, or no mind at all; to be touched by it was a weird and troubling experience...

“S-shit! M-my neck i-isn’t a... a platter of... of... d-dango!” he hissed back, his naked body (stripped in seconds of the first kiss drinking the air from his lungs) writhing atop butter-soft bedding; “y-your w-weapons are-e d-d-igging in m-me” he added, his mind failing to connect why the mouth devouring him had stopped so that a deep, breathy chuckle could ghost across his neck.

“Heh, well, no one has ever called them weapons before...”

“Wha-? No! No! That’s not what I meant and you know it!” the slightly younger man sputtered whilst his arms (their wrists uselessly sealed onto the bedding at the side of his head) attempted to jerk free as his legs (still parted, still spread) squeezed the other’s sides in retaliation. “D-damn it! Why am I the one who keeps ending up naked and on my back? My sex life was non-existent and now...”

“Hmm, you do seem to be naturally good at doing it though... heh, figures a ninja genius would be a great lay, I suppose...” the older replied with a grin, a single-handed sign (that had Kakashi’s eye widen in shock) summoning two shadow-clones who, without a word, started to remove his clothes after he’d kneeled up and away from the man he was claiming.

“Who are you calling a genius?” the silver haired jonin asked, his brows raised and mouth slightly parted as he caught his breath; “single-signing is a Sennin level skill” he added, his eye looking away when the other started to manoeuvre his pants and underwear off.

“Heh, Sennin? The Leader of my Organisation may as well be a God” he admitted, his tone more smug than sneering as he observed the beautiful form spread out beneath him, an angel trapped, pinned down by a devil; “look at me” he said firmly.

Blinking, the last Hatake did as instructed; Obito’s bleach and cream mixed body loomed over him like a tsunami of need and want whilst those eyes (one so familiar, the other so alien) burrowed into him, almost as though they were seeing through him.

For all he knew, they were...

“What do you see?”

Oh, where to start?

“The man my only friend grew into” he replied evenly, his mind begging him to pick his words carefully; approaching a shinobi who had you spread-out across a bed, naked and vulnerable with an agenda was one thing, but to underestimate someone who snorted at the title of Sage was quite another.

“Someone who I’d once trusted with my life... even when we picked at each other, I never had any doubt that you wouldn’t risk everything for the three of us... you and Rin, that’s the biggest thing you had in common” he added, his teeth catching his lip when the mentioning of her name didn’t spark a violent reaction. “Sensei and me... the mission had to come first... your death was the only thing that changed my way of thinking when it came to such things...”

“You came after us... on that day...”

“I wouldn’t have... not until you said...”

“Sensei told me about your father the night before, did he ever tell you?” the Uchiha asked, his eyes narrowing when the younger man’s soft frown gave him the answer; “heh... you’d think we would have known such things about each other, we were a team, weren’t we? And yet, for how much I claimed to love her, I didn’t know her parents’ names, who her siblings were, what the relevance of her clan’s symbols meant” he mused, his tone bitter. “Then there was you... what happened to your father, what you were going through when we were at the Academy, how the adults used to look at you... and I never thought twice about it...”

“We were children...”

“We were blinded Kakashi, by the Village, by the Council, by the Hokage, don’t you see?” he hissed, almost he was seeking confirmation, validation; “why did you stay there after Sakumo died? What caused you to stay? We hadn’t even been put into genin teams at that point...”

“Where else could I have gone?” was the (surprising, honest answer springing from his lips before he’d had chance to stop their movement, his voice very clearly betraying him) answer. “I had no other family, no links to other peoples or Villages, and it wasn’t as though he’d left a ‘will’, or anything beyond the standard procedures to follow should a Clan child be orphaned” he admitted further, his eye closing. “I... I don’t think he was in his right mind when he... well... he sent me out, it was nothing new, he wanted a tray of haha-uei’s favourite sweets... I thought that maybe he was feeling better, that we’d sit down and he’d finally tell me who she was...” he sighed heavily.

“I smelt the blood before I reached our front yard...”

“And the Village? The Council? Your father’s friends? Sensei? He used to take you on B-Rank missions not long after, didn’t he?”

“Umm...” he said, his teeth pulling at his lips again (oh, what he wouldn’t give to have a mask, any mask at all at this point). “No one wanted me, the war had just broke out and they had their own children to feed... as for Minato-sensei, heh, he couldn’t take me in, either... maa, when he wasn’t on missions or training, he was wooing Kushina-san and a reclusive six year old brooding up the place doesn’t really set the mood now, does it?” he tried to chuckle, his words sounding tired.

“Not that any of that matters now... I don’t live in the past, I can’t afford to... so I just go on missions and take every day that I live, use them to make sure no other kids have to end up like us” he furthered, his eye finally opening. “This past week has been hell... but at least it’s been my hell and not some sixteen year old kids’... ano, I’m actually kind of glad that my suffering and death won’t directly affect anyone, won’t cause any lasting damage...”

"You’re a self-sacrificing moron, you know that?”

"Says the dead guy who inspired me” the other countered, his chuckle actually reaching the air this time; “the same dead guy who saved me when I should have been the one buried under that cave-in?”

“You’d just lost your eye for protecting me... and I didn’t die, so I win the point, there, Bakashi...”

“Are you ever going to tell me where you’ve been all of this time?” he plucked up the courage to ask, his adam’s-apple bobbing whilst he tried to swallow any nervousness his fatigue ridden body was threatening to broadcast.

Taking a deep breath, the rinnengan spinning over a few times, Kakashi was suddenly and terrifyingly aware that the man kneeling between his legs was not Obito; if the dramatic shift in chakra hadn’t been enough than the superior, stoic expression most certainly did.

"So this is the last Hatake?” the man asked, his voice deeper, smokier; “your ancestors were good trackers and fairly competent, for farming-stock” he furthered, his tone more blunt than unkind. “My servant is fond of you, too fond, perhaps” he mused, a hand (lightning fast) snapping out to grab and tilt his chin; “it’s hardly surprising, I suppose... he is of my blood, and I did so have a fondness for Tobirama... are you, perhaps, part Senjuu? That pretty face of yours... hmm... yes, I’d say Senjuu on your mother’s side...”

“W-who...”

"I am Madara, the true Madara and, so long as you behave and do as you’re told, there’s no reason for me to kill you, not just yet, anyway” he admitted whilst the flesh-hand skipped across the other’s hip and side before trailing down a warm, wash-board stomach. “The time of my return is mere months away and I must bring about a better world with Obito at my side; you would do well to remember that your part in that future has never been a factor... however, Hatake, I want you to watch over him for me” he said, his lips pricking in a smirk.

"Be his lover, his confidant, the arms he can fall into when his days are soaked in blood... help him to draw out the jinchuuriki and, in exchange, I will afford you and everyone you have sacrificed so much to protect a great swathe of my mercy” he purred as though everything had already been decided, as though this new world was already upon them.

“But be warned.... should you cross me or attempt to dissuade my vessel from his true purpose, then I’ll not hesitate to make your final days excruciating, do you understand?”

“H-hai...”

“Good boy” the ancient Uchiha praised, the smirk he wore on Obito's face progressing rapidly into a leer; “be sure to enjoy yourself now, for, as strange as you may think it, I do have a soft-spot for my descendant and he does so want you... why, he’s been dreaming of savouring you vividly for many years” he revealed, his tone almost sympathetic.

"Put on a good show and I promise to find some way to reward you, too...”

Chapter Text

“Obito?”

Blinking, the strange head-ache that’d momentarily blinded him having receded to leave him clear and fully aware (which was unusual; these fits tended to leave him blanked out for a while. It was, according to Zetsu, a side-effect of the rinnengan and all the more reason to keep the ichors being around, his ever present eyes and form able to protect him should he be truly incapacitated), the Akatsuki leader found himself looking down at his prize in puzzlement.

“Obito... are you?”

“Hm? Oh, wari...” the slightly older ninja breathed, his eyes blinking for a completely different reason; “huh, you didn’t attack me” he stated, his right brow cocking when the silver haired shinobi blinked in turn.

“I...”

“Heh, it’s not like you to ignore an advantage, let alone refuse to take it” he mused, his lips pricking into a heart-achingly familiar, boyish grin; for his part, Kakashi was torn between horror and relief.

‘Rin, Sensei...’ he thought, his body relaxing as he took in every detail of that smile; ‘how can I save him now? He’s possessed and I’m...’

“Maa-ee, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you spared me because you liked me, or something...”

“Like you? Of course I like you, you idiot...”

All movement stopped.

Kakashi felt his breath hitch in time with the crimson stain flooding his face, a look of absolute mortification claiming him as he wished, desperately, for the bed to open up a swallow him whole.

“You...”

“I didn’t say anything!” he tried to deny, his eye shut whilst he struggled not to squirm under the virtual waves of smug vibrating away from his host; “you heard nothing...”

“Oh no, no, no, no, no Bakashi... I heard you, alright” the Uchiha crowed, his body practically bouncing on the mattress; “you~ like~ me~!” he sang, his laugh doubling in volume when the jonin cursed at him, his svelte legs kicking up to wrap harshly about the other’s chuckle-shaken ribs.

“I’ve changed my mind” the last Hatake announced, his tone deadly serious as he glared at the fiend for all he was worth; “I’m not only going to attack you, I’ll kill you... I’m going to crush you, maybe even snap you in half with my thighs...”

“Ohh... kinky” the raven haired Akatsuki leader giggled, his eyebrows wiggling as he leaned down, his hands easily (so easily, too easily) lowering those powerful legs whilst he did so, their stomachs and semi-erect lengths pressing together. “Don’t feel too bad... it’s not as though I don’t like you too, right?”

“Obi-umpph...”

Surrendering to the kiss, his open palms suddenly full of two hands threading fingers between his own, the slightly shorter man groaned when Obito’s hips shifted to make himself more comfortable, their members rubbing together deliciously.

Maybe just giving in and enjoying himself wouldn’t be such a bad thing...

“Umm... you taste sweeter than any dango I’ve ever had...”

Sure, the guy on top of him was a hot-mess (who was he to judge?) with a scary, old ghost living in his eye, a plan for world-domination underway and an organisation of nukenin at his beck and call...

“Y-you... ever done this before? W-with a man, I m-mean?”

But he was, at least, someone he’d known, someone who he could hopefully talk down, talk around, hell, maybe just talk to... unlike the sadists whose intervention had brought him here in the first place...

“Heh, don’t worry, you’re the only blushing, former-virgin here, Bakashi... I’ll have you know that I’ve been experienced for a good, long while now...”

Scowling at that, the Uchiha now preferring to play and nibble his ear-lobe whilst talented, clearly well-practised hands skittered down his forearms, skirted his sides (their tips making him gasp; why should kissing and such pleasant, simple gestures leave him breathless when S-Class missions rarely phased him?) before rubbing soothing circles into hips, the last Hatake closed his eye in the near-darkness.

Next to them, the clones were busily doing something; not that Kakashi cared, not that he could be bothered to look since the strange, arousing tingling sensation dancing through his ear and neck (like miniature bolts of lightning) was so distracting.

“Neh... Are you jealous?”

“E-eh? Don’t be absurd...”

“Hmm... well, maybe you should be” Obito continued, his hips gently rocking, their movements causing the slightly young ninja to stifle a cry; “’cus, you see... I could never be with someone like Rin... I could never betray her memory like that...” he added, his voice darkly and deeply pleased by the sounds he was drawing from his partner.

“However...” he furthered, his hands slipping down to cup the other’s rump, those fingers gently following the taut, firm curves to help spread the cheeks wider; “I found hunting for and sleeping with her polar opposite suited me just fine...”

“S-so... you’ve been with... blondes? Ano... I thought... thought you said it was me... who had a thing for... Sensei...”

Chuckling, the Akatsuki leader jerked the slender creature further down the bed, those trapped hands flexing in time with his shudder; “heh, you did have a thing for Sensei... but no, that’s not what I meant...” he murmured, his lips stilling until the other finally cracked an eye to look at him.

“Rin’s polar opposite... was you...”

“Whoa!”

Laughing at the shocked outcry, his arms (strong enough to crush boulders and jonin alike) effortlessly lifted, twisted and pinned the trapped man on his stomach; the bedding knotted, effectively bringing the former Konoha ninja’s wrists to lock over each other, those beautiful, muscle toned arms pillaring his snowy head.

“Obito!” he hissed, his neck struggling to find a comfortable position so that he could glare heatedly at the stronger male; “w-what...”

“The first prostitute I approached was from Cloud Country... he was eighteen, I was fifteen and he taught me a lot” the Uchiha admitted, his hands gratefully accepting the lube one of his clones had warmed for him, his grin slanting into a smirk when the scent of vanilla permeated the air. “He was tall, lean and had naturally silver hair... maa~ he would have loved you, I’m sure” he grinned, a chuckle leaving him when he started to drip the rich fluid down the parted cheeks, causing Kakashi to yip and wriggle.

“Hey! That’s...”

“Shh, shh, shh... relax, will you?”

“Relax? You’re telling me that you’ve been fantasising about sleeping with me and...”

“So? You should be flattered” the raven-haired shinobi huffed, his tone a little petulant whilst his left hand retained its grip upon the warm, earthen vessel as the index finger of his right made its approach, the position of his kneeling form easily keeping those (wonderfully) trembling thighs parted.

“Ah! Y-you... a... a little warning would have been... ah... nice!”

Chuckling, the digit slowly, carefully thrusting deeper, its form helping to swirl the fragrant oil deeper into the scorching, clenching channel, Obito marvelled at the feel of the younger man, his eyes rolling when a second joined it in what seemed a rather fruitless attempt to stretch him.

“Ahh... ahhh... ahh... Ohh... there... there, that’s...”

Grunting, the tips of his fingers purposefully jabbing what was undoubtedly the last Hatake’s prostate, the Uchiha sent a third finger to prepare his prize whilst drizzling more of the perfumed slick; “ugh... you’re still so tight... ‘Kashi, you need to... ugh... how can you clench like that?”

“Please... please stop ta-alking and... ahh! Aaahhhh... that’s...” he keened, his body quaking whilst his toes dug into the bedding in a frenzied attempt to get purchase; “w-what...”

“Oh, poor Kakashi...” Obito mock sympathised; “it feels good, doesn’t it? Well, don’t you worry, I’ll be sure to keep hitting it until you cum... hmm, I wonder how many times I can make you cum just by doing that, hm? That might be a fun-thing to do, neh?”

Whimpering (fuck-it, he was done, physically and emotionally done), the jonin tried his best not to dwell on those words as the fingers stuffing him withdrew and hands that weren’t Obito’s (but were) moved to make him partially kneel, his legs parted even further as he allowed his teeth to gnash into the bedding.

“Umm... I think you’re ready...”

“O-Obito...”

Sucking in a breath, his right hand now (as quickly as humanly possible) slathering his burning, aching erection with the rest of his lube, his mix-matched gaze taking in every dip, curve and inch of that creamy, sweet skin that was spread out before him like an offering upon an altar, the scarred ninja made his approach.

“Shh, shh... easy... that’s it” he murmured, his body lining up as he leaned back over his prize. “I’m going to take you now” he promised, the head of his member brushing against the quivering, puckered entrance; “j-just try to... don’t tighten up...”

“S’easy... f-for you to... aahhh... ah! Gods you’re... you’re not going to fit” he whined, his fingers fisting the blankets when a thick, burning head speared him; it wasn’t quite as hard to take as when they had shared him, but...

Growling, his hands gripping slender hips, the Uchiha grit his teeth and struggled not to simply ram forward, to rut the younger man like an animal, to make him scream...

“O-Ob-ito... please...”

Snarling, his patience lost, he took the other in one swift hard motion, those eyes (that’d led him this far) rolling as he pressed himself in to the hilt then, his hands strengthening their hold, the older ninja began a slow, deep rhythm, his angle shifting until (instead of the raspy, breathy keens) Kakashi wailed, his sweltering passage slamming down around him.

“Aaahhhhhh! Fuck... K-Kashi... don’t...”

“Y-you’re... n-not... seriously b-blaming.... me f-f-for any-thing...” the silver haired jonin whimpered, his own hips attempting to meet the thrusts that were trying to blend him into the quilt and mattress below. “Ahh... ahhh... ahhh! Y-you...”

Grunting, the stronger of the pair jammed his flesh hand under his lover to carefully tend to the straining member he found in hopes of relieving some of the pressure causing the other man to bear down so hard.

“S-shit... I’m... I’m not going to last... no one... no one has ever...”

“P-please...”

Closing his eyes, the hand securing that ivory hip leaving purpling welts, Obito began his assault in full, his shaft plunging (with some difficulty regardless of the lube and preparation) as deep as he could whilst a frenzied need to make the other man scream filled his consciousness.

“Aaahhhh! Aaahhhh! I...”

Growling, his teeth moving to slam into the last Hatake’s neck, his sweat slickened chest rubbing feverishly against that strong, glistening back, Obito felt a wave of triumph flood his system when Kakashi came violently in his hand.

In turn, that sweltering channel crushed any hopes the Uchiha had of lasting; with a roar that sounded closer to a howl, the heavily scarred male began to empty himself, his mind (awash with pleasure) roiling with satisfaction as he was milked by those trembling, boiling walls.

“W-when I fuck you... again... I... want to see your face... when I make you... cum...” he stated, his hips lazily jerking into the quaking body he’d landed on.

“Umm... you’ll be ready in the next few minutes, right?”

Chapter Text

Whistling, the medics having finally been sent to fix his arm, Hidan continued to tap on the walls of their common-area, his crimson eyes watching carefully for any shift in the fabric of the structure, his scythe jangling behind him as he moved.

“Oii~ Ze-tsuuu~ you skulking around anywhere near here~ hmm~?”

If their plan was to work then recruiting the bizarre entity was vital...

“Nah? Hidan-san?” a disembodied voice called, the cactus-like protrusions nibbling their way out of the electric-light scattered ceiling, those golden eyes peering quizzically at the cultist, a pleased grin taunting its lips; “nan-da?”

Offering his own smile (and diligently ignoring the sweat at his temple), the young man clasped his hands in an over-exaggeratedly playful gesture whilst meeting those eerie eyes. “Ah, there you are... maa~ I was hoping that you and me could have a little chat, you know, since we’re on the same team n’all” he drawled, his head jerking toward an area next to a bay window where chairs and a coffee table had been arranged as though this organisation were just that.

“Umm? Oh! A social engagement with a colleague! How thrilling” it trilled whilst gracelessly dropping to the ground, its keen eyes observing the creamy skinned male as he pulled a thick envelope from beneath the black, cloud accented cloak which adorned his shoulders. “Hmm? What do you have there? Maa~ee, it can’t be a mission... there are only three jinchuuriki left and aren’t Itachi-san and Kisame-san seeing to the seven tails?” it asked whilst Hidan sat and popped the seal securing his passage. “Ooh... or is that it, neh? Leader-sama knows, unn, I told him that that Sasuke-boy and his little troop were closing in on them so maybe I need to go and keep an eye on things... neh-neh? How come he wants to kill Itachi-san so much? Aren’t families meant to protect each other?”

“Eh? Ah, who knows... s’probably to do with all that inbreeding, s’got to make them crazy, right?” he said through a non-committal shrug, a flare of interest sparking his gaze when the monster sat across from him; “those Uchiha bastards are all fucked up... an’ hey, speaking of the guys with pin-wheel-eyes... you remember that pretty piece of tail you tried to lick when you spooked us in the woods?”

“Hai-hai... he was very pretty...”

“Hm, wasn’t he though?” Hidan sighed, his fingers dexterously leafing through the papers within the manila folder; “but you only got to see him clothed... unless you stayed and watched that night or were peeking the night before...”

“It’s Zetsu’s duty to observe all members of Leader-sama’s organisation...”

“Now, now, there’s no need to become defensive there, friend” the cultist assured, his body-language closer to a relaxed jaguar than a human-being; “I was just wondering if you’d be interested in seeing him posed, you know, since he’s gone now and all we have left are memories...” he said, his tone despondent as he fanned the images out across the coffee table.

“Oohhh...” the ichors being crooned, its body stretching to loom over the table, those golden orbs expanding in amazement; “these are...”

“A very rare and precious possession of mine, so don’t get any drool or anything else on them!”

“Hai-hai...” the other nodded enthusiastically, its coat releasing a tendril to carefully, gently pick up the one closest to it; “neh... explain to me what you’re doing here” the chakra eater stated excitedly, the limb turning the image for Hidan’s inspection.

Smirking whilst leaning forward, the Yugakure defector pitched his elbows on his knees so that his palms could cup and support his chin; “hee-hee-hee... that’s a nice one, isn’t it?” he breathed, his face growing fond. “Umm, this must have been taken just before we had to fake his death to sneak him here” he sighed as the monster flipped the photo back to his view; “I remember it like it was yesterday...”

~*~Flashback~*~

Moaning obscenely, his eyes rolling when Kakuzu came for a second time (this time inside of his body and not the previously virginal mouth he’d been plundering not too long ago), Hidan stretched from where he was sat, the other immortal’s re-hardening length still firmly settled inside of him.

“Umm... oi, Kakuzu, you’re blowing my mind, man...” he breathed, his hips giving a lazy, idle roll before moving to stand, his sigh euphoric whilst the older merely grunted his appreciation.

“You’re the one who seems reinvigorated” the ancient male announced as he continued to lie upon the futon, his jade eyes studying the tangled mess of a thatch, branches and glue which made up the hunting lodge’s (surprising effective) ceiling; “try your best not to break him as quickly as the last one” he warned.

“Heh, that little cutie was a civilian” Hidan giggled whilst padding the short distance across the futon to where his current play-thing was obediently kneeling, his grey eye dull thanks to the crude but effective genjutsu he’d put him under before his older lover dragged him onto the stuffed-matt’s centre. “’Kashi-kun is made of much stronger stuff so I can do as I please... well, for a while, anyway” he added before lowering himself to run a deceptively gentle hand through those silky strands of feathery hair; “umm, Jashin-sama will bless me many times over when I butcher him upon His altar...”

“No more talk of that for now” the thread manipulator grumbled, his arms pillowing under his head whilst he basked in the afterglow of his orgasm; “why don’t you occupy yourself with him outside for a while? As I recall, you like taking photos of your toys in natural settings and it must be dawn by now” he mused with a light shrug. “Don’t forget that we need to get moving soon and that you have a rite to perform on him before we start running” he added, his voice the very definition of put-upon. “Hn, make sure you take some good ones, umm, like those you did this morning... I’ll accept the negatives as an additional payment for making me do so much extra work...”

“Ahh, Kakuzu, I know you enjoy him just as much as I do!” he preened whilst making the release-sign with sticky fingers; “kai.”

“W-hat... wait... you...”

“Welcome back to reality, ‘Kashi-kun” the cultist greeted before standing, his right hand snagging the other’s arm to pull him (stumbling, blinking, shocked) towards the door; “okay, I’m giving you a minute’s head-start...”

“I don’t...”

“Starting... now” the younger stated, his hands rapidly forming signs which summoned a shadow clone; grinning at his fiendish twin, the Jashinist chuckled as his quarry took off at speed, a quick henge masking his naked, bruise painted body in a standard jonin uniform from his Village.

“Aww, look at that, poor-thing actually thinks he’s got a chance” he chuckled, his eyes watching that swift, agile form flip up, into the tress and out of sight; “ah-well, it’s always good to let your dog run free for a while, neh? We’ll see you later, Kakuzu” he called whilst his clone (who’d just handed him his pants before moving to secure the camera) walked across the threshold and onto the dew peppered grass.

His partner had been right; the morning light (a symphony of reds, pinks, purples and amber) swamped the sky above the clearing their little hunting-shack slumped in.

It was perfect...

“Come on then” he bid his doppelganger, a loud “yahhooo!” ringing from their throats as they sprinted through the lush grass, their bodies nowhere near the levels of exhaustion that must be plaguing their prey whilst they ran, jumped and tumbled after the man. It was a shame, really, that his last sex-act upon the earthen altar he’d made the night before ensured that they could find him with ease.

Sure, it wasn’t exactly sport but the look of dumb-horror on the last Hatake’s face would be well worth the lack of chase...

“Peek-a-boo!”

Yelping, his henge flickering in shock, Kakashi narrowly managed to avoid the hand which plunged into the earth he’d tunnelled under, his eye narrowed in horror as he rolled out of the ground and away... only to have his chest stamped on, the air wheezing out of his lungs.

“Wow... look how far you got” the cultist mock-cooed, the clone moving in to snap their image; the Akatsuki member grinned at the lens with all the confidence of a ‘big-game-hunter’, his wink perfectly framed even as the jonin tried to push the heavy, sandaled foot off of him. “Oi-oi, there’s no need to get mad at me, ‘Kashi-kun, I did give you a head start...”

“You’re a lying, cheating son of a...”

“Ah, ah, ah... let’s not drag mothers into this” Hidan warned smugly; “now then, let’s see, there should be a knot of birch trees somewhere around here... there’s always that kind of thing in rainy places like this” he murmured, a few more signs producing ten more clones who instantly sprang into action.

“Ugh! Get off of me!”

“Yari-yari, you need to settle down there or I’ll be forced to get rough with you... Oh! There we go, come on then...”

Snarling, his arms and legs lashing out wildly amidst the flashes of the camera, Kakashi yowled and bucked when four of the chakra-beings snatched him up by his flailing limbs and effortlessly began to carry him in a westerly direction.

“Put me down! I am not going to let you keep taking those damned pictures! Bastard! I’ll smash that damned camera to pieces! I...”

“You really do need to have a dick or something else occupying that lovely mouth of yours” the cultist sighed, his smile broadening when the glade of pale, slender trees came into view; “who’d have thought that such disgusting words could spill out of such delicious lips, neh?”

“Let go of me! Whoopphhh!”

Grinning fiendishly, two of his doppelgangers releasing those desperately kicking legs, Hidan watched with no small amount of satisfaction as the others secured him against one of the thicker, sturdier trees; dispelling all but two of them (the remainders keeping the jonin’s hands tied behind the trunk and holding the camera), the Jashinist smirked at his prisoner.

“Drop the henge” he ordered.

“No.”

“Drop the henge or I keep breaking your ribs until you do” was the compromise whilst cracking his knuckles; the camera flashed repeatedly as that naked body (complete with angry, resolved scowls) was revealed as the true shinobi stepped out of his pants and moved towards him.

“You know, these trees are a lot like you, and not just their colouring either” he purred, his legs easily defending against the fatigue clumsy kicks sent his way; “they’re supple...” he furthered, his right hand fisting a portion of silvery hair. “They tend to bend by extraordinary degrees before breaking” he chuckled, his wrist turning so that Kakashi had to face the camera before, with little preamble (Hidan’s mind of the opinion that being fucked earlier would mean the passage was still slick enough to access easily) he strode between the other’s legs and ploughed up and into him.

~*~End of Flashback~*~

“Hoo... how I would love to try human copulation...” Zetsu sighed dreamily, its eyes now going through the next series of photos which showed the Konoha nin being taken roughly, his face flushed, lashes laced by tears whilst Hidan smirked and licked at his cheeks, kissed his lips and eyelids.

“Oh yeah, it’s fantastic” the Yugakure defector said, his tone deeply forlorn; “and ‘Kashi-kun was just the sweetest little thing... say, you know a lot of what goes on around here... do you know what Pein-sama did with the body after he took the Sharingan?” he queried, his face the picture of innocent curiosity.

“Hmm... no, I...”

“’Cus, you see, my Lord Jashin-sama was promised a sacrifice and I really want to know if there’s anything left to, ugh, salvage” he furthered, his lips forming a pout that even Kakuzu had said was cute (well, not directly, that was not a word the immortal would use but Hidan had known him long enough to be sure that’s what he’d meant by ‘fucking ridiculous’).

“Well...”

“Aww, come on, you can tell me” he continued, his inner sadist cheering when the plant-creature fidgeted, its eyes wandering from photo to photo like a kid perusing a candy-shop window; “we’re friends now, right? And friends can tell each other anything including secrets, right?”

Humming thoughtfully, a tendril sliding over an image of Kakashi fighting off the Takigakure defector’s strings as they divested him of his kimono, Zetsu sighed and flicked a look around the room before allowing his head to snake out closer to a (freaked out but hiding it well) cultist.

“Alright, but you must promise not to tell anyone other than Kakuzu-san...”

“Cross my little black heart and hope to be eaten by Jashin-sama...”

“Okay” the ichors monster said with a weird nod of his warped form; “... nah, nah, and you’ll promise to share him with me, too, yes?”

Chapter Text

Curling his flesh arm a little closer to the quietly snoring man (his body completely lost to a deeply sated, fatigue laden sleep) he’d recently manoeuvred under the ruined sheets of their bed, Obito buried his nose into the nape of the other’s neck and breathed him in.

Somewhere not too far from here, he could feel Itachi dying...

Not that there was anything he could do; the boy he’d helped those few years ago to decimate their Clan had been sick for a long while and, he supposed, if the younger Uchiha wanted to die by his little brother’s hand, then he wouldn’t stop him.

He would, however, use their final altercation to his ultimate advantage after giving Sasuke a day or so to grieve, to regret, to stew so that when he appeared, his form offering healing and truth, he’d be able to recruit him and his motley crew straight into the Akatsuki’s service.

Then, there were two very lucrative options open to him: the first? It seemed as though the old hag was starting to take him seriously and had, for the first time since the last war, called a summit of Kages to discuss plans and assemble ideas. It might be fun to send “Team Taka” there to wreck havoc on the leaders of Villages who’d happily sacrificed people like his beloved older brother; however, that might be a little too ambitious. This meant that the second plan was far more viable as they were only a day or two away from Cloud Country and collecting the eight-tails was surely something a boy who’d studied under Orochimaru could handle. However, if he couldn’t, well, Pein would deal with the self-styled ‘greatest-rapper’ before travelling to Konoha.

If Obito’s calculations were accurate (and what he knew about the kyuubi’s current jinchuuriki was true), then the boy and Jiraiya would return sooner rather than later; Kakashi would become the perfect bait in any case, especially if the old toad was as sentimental as he remembered.

“Neh... Obito... are you awake yet?”

Rolling his eyes (the ichors monster suddenly appearing when he chose (usually at the most inopportune of times) no longer causing him concern (Madara had given the thing very strict instructions, after all) or surprise), the Akatsuki leader then flicked his gaze upwards.

Protruding from the wall just above the headboard (that his partner had been gripping feverishly a few hours ago as he’d fucked him to the point of unconsciousness), Zetsu, its face abnormally worried, peered down at him.

“What?” he hissed, his voice thick and rough with sleep; “didn’t I tell you I was not to be disturbed?”

“Wari-wari... but this matter really cannot wait” it said, its golden eyes narrowed; “a group of Hunter-Nin have found the Gedo Mazo” it stated. “I don’t know how they got into the cave... but there is a seal-specialist in their rank and they’re snooping around” it continued as Obito felt his teeth gritting together; “I was going to take care of them myself but I’m spread out too thin... my clones are involved in other fights and observations...”

“How did they find it?” the Uchiha snapped, his arms pulling away from the sleeper, his eyes narrowed as he sat up and edged towards the end of the bed; “didn’t I tell you to keep fifty of your clones there at all times?”

“You did and I have” the monster promised with a fervent nod; “I’m not really sure which Village they’re from, but they’re really strong... and I’m spread so thin as it is...”

“Fine, fine” the raven haired shinobi snapped; “keep them busy, I’ll be there in five minutes” he ground out, his body shifting effortlessly from sleepily relaxed to dangerously poised as he strode towards the bathroom.

“Hai-hai... and Bakashi?”

“Leave him be” was the answer, the sound of a shower running filling the space between them; “the seals’ have acknowledged his presence so there’s no way for him to leave... heh, I don’t think he’ll be walking for a while, either” he added, the water shutting off abruptly as the scarred male emerged and paced his way to the wide, deep wardrobes. “If I find out that you’ve been toying with him whilst I’ve been out I’ll use the rinnengan and have your white-side sealed away again, do you understand?”

“Hai...” it said, a flash of uncharacteristic worry, no, uncertainty causing its pallor to dim; “I... I wouldn’t like that very much...”

“No, I dare say you wouldn’t” the human huffed, his eyes narrowing as he dressed himself in the Tobi disguise he’d constructed; “so, if you like being out and getting to do pretty much everything you like when you’re not doing your job, I suggest that you...”

“Ooohhh... Obito... I think that I have done a very bad thing... a very selfish, wrong and silly thing...” it suddenly gasped, its body morphing out of the wall to bounce on the bed, the sudden movement causing Kakashi to snort awake, yelp and roll off the mattress with a scream of “no! No I am not doing anything with you! Oowww!”

“Holy shit! Are you okay...”

“Ow... why do I keep waking up like this...”

“I told a secret! I told the secret! And now they’re coming here!”

Helping the flaxen haired ninja back onto the bed, the pair of them turning to view the creature simultaneously, both former Konoha shinobi breathed out a “what?” in unison, one the epitome of livid, the over mortified.

“Ooohhh, are you mad? You’re mad, aren’t you?” it mourned, its body clumping into a dejected heap next to an increasingly wary Kakashi, its tendrils plucking at the bedding as it refused to look at Madara’s vessel; “maa~ I just wanted to learn about human copulation, that’s all... and they promised to share...”

“Oh God...” the youngest member of the room murmured through a shudder, his eye closing as he tried to regulate his breathing; he couldn’t go back to them doing such things to him again, he wouldn’t last the week, especially if they were going to start loaning him out... loaning him out to monsters...

The thought had him retching...

“Hey, hey, Bakashi... Kakashi stop that, look at me...”

Flinching when a hand (warm, familiar, gentle) capped his shoulder, the last Hatake somehow resisted the need to pull away; there wasn’t much point, was there? He was trapped, he was weak and alone and trapped and he had never, never been made to feel this way before... he’d always been strong, always been able to do something, to save himself, save others...

“Kakashi, breathe...”

Hiccupping, his nostrils flaring as years of ANBU training attempted to subdue the panic-attack that’d been threatening to take him, the jonin sucked in a few deep, calming breaths, his body trying to relax from the ball he’d curled into.

“Now look what you’ve done...”

“Ehh? Nah-nah, Obito, that isn’t fair... I haven’t been able to do anything to him...”

“Shut. Up” was the clipped reply as the milk-skinned ninja slowly opened his eye, his trembling subsiding lightly.

“That’s it... now, just try to ease your joints a bit... do you remember what I told you, hm? You’re mine now and I won’t allow them to take you away from me...”

‘Oh Gods...’ the last Hatake thought, a new wave of horror cascading down his spine; ‘that’s all I am to him, too, a possession, something to own... I can’t let myself forget that... not even after last night... after how he made me feel... not after those words we exchanged... no, no I can’t afford to think that he’ll see me as a person...’ he thought, the other’s words of comfort becoming so much white-noise. ‘Shit... get it together Kakashi... you’ve endured torture, you’ve gone on extended missions where becoming another person was imperative... you can do that now... the sex stuff, it’s just sex, it doesn’t mean...’

“Hey, look at me, I’m going to keep you safe, alright?”

‘I wish... oh, Kami-sama... I wish I could believe that...’ he thought whilst offering a nod, his singular gaze swiftly moving to the ichors creature when it leaned a little closer to him.

“Now, as for you” the Uchiha hissed, his body standing tall as it slumped further into the well-used covers; “What, exactly, have you been planning with the zombie-combo?”

“Maa-eee~ Kakuzu-san suggested that I let a Hunter-nin patrol into the statue’s cave and, when you were seeing to them, Hidan-san could break the seals on your apartment...”

“You told them who I am!?” the Uchiha snarled, his Sharingan spinning to form a series of livid, dangerous patterns; “you insufferable...”

“No! No! Please, I only said that Bakashi was being kept here... they still think that Leader-sama has kept him... Kakuzu-san said that it even made sense, that the Hatake could be used to make the Uzumaki boy surrender or, at least, draw him out and into a trap...”

Head snapping to chakra-fiend at those word, his mouth parting in shock, the youngest male in the now quiet bedroom (the sound of heavy rain pelting against the glass doing little to soften the news) felt his mind spin with the new information.

Yes, that made perfect sense...

However, before he could do or say anything, a weird, hissing-sound started to bubble through the air and the scent of burning quickly joined it.

“They’re here” Obito stated, his tone cold and merciless; “Zetsu, destroy every-one of those Hunter-nin or you’ll not see day-light again until his resurrection” he ordered, his hands moving to secure the orange mask over his sharply smiling face.

“Hmm, it’s a good job that I don’t particularly like the rugs in the living area, yes, they're much too dull” he announced to the room at large, his gloved fingers cracking their knuckles ominously.

“Yes, I believe that they’ll look so much better in red...”

Chapter Text

Grinning manically, his interlaced fingers releasing the final sign with a chuckle of demented glee, Hidan moved to push the door open until a strong hand snagging his arm stopped him.

“What the fuck, man?”

“Your impatience is going to get you killed...”

“Aww, Kakuzu-sama, I knew you cared!” the crimson eyed fiend crooned, his amusement dwindling when the other man narrowed those eerie eyes at him.

“Don’t misunderstand me and don’t underestimate him” the older growled; “you don’t get to be my age in this forsaken world through being careless and rushing in to enemy territory... regardless of how valued the treasure you want is” he added, his tone gruff. “That creature may have been enthralled by your offer but it is a thing of whims... and if it has betrayed us then all six of them could be just beyond that door...”

“Wah? You worry too much” the Yugakure defector snorted; “and besides, it’s not like they’re going to do anything... hell, he could have easily killed me back there but he didn’t because I’m still useful or some shit; meh, it’s not thanks to Jashin-sama’s grace and your intervention that I’m here, you know” he added with a shrug. “Although it was real sweet of you to cut-in... mm... remind me to pay you back when we get to our next stop, alright?” he finished with a grin, his hand grabbing the door handle to secure their entrance.

“Oh? Next stop? Yari-yari, Hidan-san... are you and Kakuzu planning a trip out or something? Maa~ I’m not sure that Leader-sama will approve of that” Tobi greeted, his tone light and playful as he waved at them; “ah! Silly me! Where are my manners, neh? Welcome, welcome.... won’t you come in? Wouldn’t you like some tea? Breaking seals from an ancient, forbidden text must give you quite the thirst, hmm?”

Blinking incredulously at the orange mask, friendly gestures and an offering of two chairs before a table bearing piping hot tea, the two immortals paused, their bodies tensing with uncertainty.

“Ano... are you really just going to stand there? Come on, come on, I insist” Pein’s lackey stated; “it wouldn’t do to be rude to me, Leader-sama really wouldn’t like that” he continued whilst wagging a finger at them. “You can’t tell me that you’ve gone to so much effort to get in only to check out my door-way” he reasoned mildly; “hmm, which begs the question of what you’re doing sneaking into my private quarters anyway... I most certainly haven’t gone sneaking around in yours...”

“The hell you haven’t!” the pale haired menace hissed; “just because I don’t remember doesn’t mean I don’t know what you did!” he snarled, his legs striding him into the living space, his eyes roving around the apartment in hopes of spotting his quarry. “Where the fuck is he?!”

“Maa~ Hidan-san, I don’t know...”

“Don’t you bullshit me, Tobi” he growled whilst Kakuzu moved to stand beside him, a selection of threads snaking out from between the patch-work of his skin; “where is Hatake Kakashi? I know you have him, I can all but smell him on you” he seethed. “Look, I don’t care who you are or what you mean to Leader-sama but you taking my, no, our stuff is not okay!”

“Umm? Oh? That’s funny” the masked man breathed, a finger tapping at his chin in a childish gesture of thinking hard; “I don’t remember seeing your name on him... and trust me, I’ve seen everything there is to see...” he said, the goofy persona easily slipping away as he purred out a: “mm, I think you’ll find my teeth-marks are embedded much deeper than yours...”

“You creepy, mother-fucking son of a...”

“Careful, Hidan-san” that same dark, sultry voice murmured in a strange, mockingly sweet tone; “you are very important to the plan but I’ll only let you push me so far... there are still thirty people on the problems list and now all five Kage must be considered, too...” he said, his arms hanging deceptively loose at his sides. “Da-na... you are important but you can be replaced...”

“Heh! I’d like to see you try!”

“Hidan” Kakuzu snapped; “stand down” he ordered, his keen gaze sizing up the enigmatic man. “Remember what I told you outside...”

“But...”

“No buts” the eldest member of the room snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument; watching as the other pouted and crossed his arms with a “tch, whatever”, the thread wielder nodded briefly then levelled his caustic gaze at their host.

“The Hatake is ours” he informed bluntly. “He gave himself and his bounty to us in a fair exchange... if you’re not going to return him then I demand equally fair compensation...”

“You what?!” Hidan yowled.

“Hmm, sounds reasonable” Tobi admitted; “state your terms...”

“Aww... Kakuzu, this isn’t what...”

“The sum of his current bounty, paid in full” the string manipulator began; “and the use of his body when we’re at the base... if you want him, you can have him while we’re away” he added, his tone thoughtful. “That way no one need to be concerned about him potentially breaking loose and causing trouble...”

“Heh! At’a’boy Kakuzu-sama... that arrangement sounds perfect” the youngest man in the room crowed, his smile wide and pleased; “what do’you say Tobi-kun? If you agree then everybody gets what they want, right?”

Arms folding loosely, his stance going from ambiguous to relaxed, Obito regarded the members of his organisation whilst the singular Sharingan peering out of the blackened eyehole rotated in thought. “Umm” he said, a brief nod tilting that mask; “yes... that is very tempting” he announced before turning slightly to view the sole bedroom’s entry-way.

“Excuse me for a moment” he said, his legging clad legs walking casually toward the chamber; “we’ll be right out... please take a seat while you wait” he insisted, his tone calm and welcoming as he moved.

Chuckling, a poorly whispered “well, that was easy” leaving his lips, Hidan wasted no time in taking up the offering, his body sliding into the wooden, sparsely cushioned chair; rolling his eyes at the other man’s antics, Kakuzu remained where he was, the tendons which made up his body wrestling under his flesh.

Yes, this was easy alright... too easy...

“N-no... please... I... this isn’t what...”

“If you want to keep your tongue in your head, then I suggest you still it” Tobi warned, his right hand dragging a ebony and crimson cloud cloak covered Kakashi out of the bedroom by the wrists; “you’re the property of the Akatsuki, remember? We alone get to decide your fate” he reminded sternly before throwing him to the ground, his body landing in a heap at the feet of a calmly observing string manipulator.

“B-but, you said...”

“What is said in this miserable, imperfect world ultimately means nothing, Kakashi... now, be a good-boy or you know what I’ll do to you... and you know you won’t like it” the Uchiha declared, his tone blunt as he kicked the younger man back to the floor when he attempted to sit up, his orange-masked face then turning back to the pair who’d breached his seals.

“I’ll have the money transferred to your account within the hour and, in exchange, I have my own set of demands...”

“What? Hey, that’s not fair! We’d already...”

“Firstly” the undercover leader cut through, his hand raising to count of his amendments; “the Sharingan is to be left alone... Pein-sama did originally send me to collect it but our medical facilities are lacking when it comes to storing such a rare dojutsu” he explained, his middle finger rising to join the index. “Secondly, if you break my seals and enter my residence again, it won’t matter what excuse you have, I’ll tear you to pieces and feed you to the wild dogs on the southern border” he close to spat, a final finger finishing his list. “Thirdly, Hatake’s ties to Konohagakure could be useful in the near future and so you are not to disfigure or dismember him without consent... when I took him from your quarters, he was babbling some nonsense about being sacrificed” he said, his head tilting when Hidan snarled at him; “he was not joking?”

“I don’t expect atheists like you to understand” the cultist sneered; “killing is the purest gift you can give to Jashin-sama, however, sending servants and concubines that’ve been broken, well, those kind of presents will ensure a place in his Kingdom beyond any mortal pleasure you can name” he announced with fervour. “’Kashi-kun, when he’s properly tamed, will make the perfect tribute to my Lord... now do you see why I was so pissed off with the boss? Maa~aa, we still have a long way to go before he’s truly ready for service so, if you don’t mind, we’ll be on our way with him...”

“Not so fast” Tobi warned, the threads racing towards the last Hatake stilling as that singular grey eye narrowed in horror, his head shaking in denial; “I didn’t only take him to preserve the Sharingan so make sure that he’s in-tact for when Pein-sama sends you on your next mission” he furthered, his arms folding. “Should you make any attempt to remove him from the Compound or, as I suspected you were suggesting earlier, make to leave the Organisation, then you will be hunted, tortured and killed for your trouble, do I make myself clear?”

“Heh, crystal” the Yugakure nin snorted as he stood, his grin positively shit-eating when his partner coiled their re-captured prey within those flexing tendons and started to drag that struggling form towards the exit; “it’s been a pleasure doing business with you, and everything, but I really don’t want to deal with you again, you know?”

~*~*~*~

“Oh? Next stop? Yari-yari, Hidan-san... are you and Kakuzu planning a trip out or something? Maa~ I’m not sure that Leader-sama will approve of that” Tobi greeted, his tone light and playful as he waved at them; “ah! Silly me! Where are my manners, neh? Welcome, welcome.... won’t you come in? Wouldn’t you like some tea? Breaking seals from an ancient, forbidden text must give you quite the thirst, hmm?”

Resisting the urge to chuckle (regardless of how furious this breach of his territory had made him), Obito watched as the pair slackened their stances as the genjutsu he cast went to work.

Oh, but what to do, what to do?

Sure, he could summon any number of blades, kunai and the like to butcher them; the under-flooring was polished marble which was easily cleaned with a team of shadow-clones, after all, and yet...

The five Kages were a problem and one he couldn’t entrust to Sasuke alone, then there were the teams of hunter-nin from several Villages who had skills he wanted to aquire and, of course, the easiest way to do this would be to enlist Kabuto’s services through the kuchiyose edo tensei once they’d been vanquished.

That kind of assassination work was what had driven Pein to recruit the zombie-combo in the first place...

Frowning, his murderous intent subsiding with the gentle, rolling of the rinnengan, Obito sucked in a breath and allowed his desire to castrate the pair (so that they’d writhe and bleed to death in front of him) to slide away, another idea swiftly formed as his imagined self took in Kakuzu’s offer.

Hmm...

Walking away, his after-image still engaging with the trapped pair, the Uchia re-entered the bedroom, his eye zeroing in on the ichors creature whose form was still slumped on the bed; at the window, that svelte body wrapped in a haori which bared his Clan’s crimson and ivory symbol (the sight made his mouth water and his loins burn), Kakashi sat upon the window-ledge, a lone eye watching the storm outside.

“I have a plan” he announced, his words causing both of them to observe him; “Zetsu, come here” he ordered, his frown tilting up and into a smirk. “Do you still want to learn about human copulation?”

“Ooh! Do I ever!” it chirped, its sadness long forgotten as it virtually bounced on the squeaking bed-frame, its face wide with joy.

“Good” he said, his head nodding to a rapidly blinking, paling Hatake; “you only need a little DNA to take on the form, shape and memories of a person, isn’t that so?”

“Hai-hai...”

“Okay then...” the raven haired Akatsuki murmured; “Kakashi... the sample needs to be fresh...”

“Madara, I will snap my own neck before I...”

“Aww...”

“Don’t be ridiculous” Obito snorted, his arms lifting in an exasperated gesture; “he’s not going to fuck you, alright? I’d burn this whole place to the ground before I allowed that to happen” he huffed, his tone more possessive than annoyed whilst the flaxen haired male relaxed and the monster deflated once again. “No, he only needs a sample or your blood or skin cells...”

“Nah-nah! Can I lick him? Please? I saw Hidan-san do it when he was taking those pictures...”

“Pictures...” the heavily scarred male breathed, a deadly aura radiating from his person; “what pictures?”

“Oooohhhh... they’re so lovely... some show him in that gown, in others he’s naked and, in my favourites, Hidan-san and Kakuzu-san are...”

“That... that’s enough” the last Hatake cut in, his hands pulling the silken, formal jacket he’d been given a little closer to himself; “I don’t want to think about them...”

“Where are these pictures now, Zetsu?”

“In Hidan-san’s bedside dresser” he replied promptly, a devious smile twisting his frightening features into something truly terrible; “would you like me to fetch them?”

“Hai” the Uchiha said, his mind dutifully disregarding the wounded noise that no doubt crept out of his former team-mate without permission. “I’ll erase any memory they have of them, too... However, first things first... you can send a clone to retrieve them after I give you your reward for being such a good, cooperative boy, alright?”

Nodding wildly, the ichors being slouched off the bed and scuttled its way over to an increasingly dubious looking Kakashi, its long tongue lolling out of its head. “Mmm, I bet you taste almost as good as you look, Bakashi!” it crooned, the tip swiping up the side of his comically blinking face before he could think to move or stop it.

“Gah! Get the hell away from me!”

“Mmmhhh! You taste better...”

“Zetsu, that’s enough, come on now, transform yourself and be sure to stay that way unless I tell you to change, do you understand?”

“Hai!” it chirped and, to the silver haired ninja’s amazement (even as he desperately rubbed a long, silky sleeve at his mortified, blushing face), he watched as the being morphed into a perfect doppelganger, that smile dropping in exchange for a haunted, frightened look.

The likeness, seeing himself in such a vulnerable state, was enough to have the last Hatake cursing and storming off to the bathroom.

Allowing him to go, Obito snagged the disguised monster’s wrists and pulled him back towards the living quarters; “do a good job, play your part and keep them happy until I don’t need them anymore” he instructed darkly.

“Do this for me and I’ll let you eat them when the time comes...”

Chapter Text

~*~*~Yesterday~*~*~

“I can’t believe that he’s really gone, you know?”

Offering a faint smile, her emergency sake all but gone, Tsunade took another deep draw from her cup as Jiraiya contemplated the vessel he held, his expression sombre; “is Gai doing okay? He took it pretty hard when we found...”

“He’s refusing to attend counselling sessions” the blonde cut in, her eyes narrowed. “Every day he comes to the mission desk with Raido and Genma, and every day they demand missions related to the Akatsuki” she added before draining the rest of her sake. “I just wish that I had more information to give them... however, they have settled with being my escort for tomorrow...”

“So you’re all going to meet up? Are you sure that’s wise?”

“Asks the man who didn’t want to be Hokage and who, instead of staying in relative safety with his Godson, has come back to Konoha with thoughts of his own bloody retribution?” she snorted, her eyes momentarily sparkling with more than just the alcohol. “You can’t fool me, Jiraiya, one of your summon’s came by at dawn this morning with a message from your former student in Rain Country... Yahiko, was it?”

Blinking away from his brew, the Toad Sage watched as the only woman he’d ever love moved to pull a scroll from her desk, their eyes locking briefly when he took it.

“Call it gut-instinct but, given their trajectory when we were following Kakashi’s scent, I had a hunch that our little black-cloaked friends might have ties in Ame or, at least, make their way through there on the way to Kumo no Kuni” he mused, his fingers deftly spreading the paper. “Hmm, bingo” he stated, a true grin finally pulling at his lips; “Yahiko has asked to meet with me at his base of operations... they don’t have a Kage system like the main-stream Villages do but he’s the closest thing you’ll find to one” he added, an eyebrow quirking. “Hey, is it worth postponing your meeting long enough for me to see if he wants in?”

“I doubt that his presence will be welcomed” Tsunade admitted with a light shrug. “Those crotchety old bastards hate change almost as much as they hate each other and you know what Mei is like around handsome, young men” she snorted, her right brow quirking whilst her companion folded the small, neat scroll back into its cylindrical shape before sequestering it into his haori. “Are you sure you can trust that boy? You’ve not seen him in over twelve years and with the Akatsuki being so close...”

“Why hime-sama, is that concern I hear?”

“Is it so wrong that I don’t want to see you dead yet, you randy, old pain in the ass?”

Chuckling, Jiraiya raised his hands in surrender; “I’m touched, really, but don’t you go worrying about me, alright? I’m a big boy and Gamabunta can easily help me to handle any problems I might come across, an’ besides, if I reverse summon myself I’ll be instantly transported to our old hide-out in Ame so long as it still stands” he furthered with a grin. “In fact, I might surprise the ol’gang and jutsu myself on over first thing in the morning... yeah, that should give me time to check on Naruto before I track Yahiko and the other’s down” he said with a nod, a leer crossing his features (which had Tsunade scowling a clenching a fist).

“Maa~ee, I should imagine that my pretty little Konan has grown up into quite the beauty... oowww!, Tsuna-chan! Why must you always throw such heavy things at me!?”

~*~*~Present~*~*~

“Where are you going?”

The zombie-combo had departed with their (secretly ecstatic) prize only moments ago and now, the seal’s reset and Itachi’s body slouched into the dust of his fateful, final duel with Sasuke, Obito had quite a few tasks to complete (with the first being to ensure that Zetsu had dealt with those hunter-nin around the statue) which simply couldn’t wait.

It really was a shame, though, he hadn’t realised just how comfortable curling up in bed with the other man would be...

“Madara?”

Sighing, his mental checks of the weapons inventory threaded about his person coming to an end, he turned his orange masked face back towards the man leaning against the door-jamb to the en-suite bathroom, his sharingan lingering on the how short the haori was and the gap which displayed an alabaster chest.

“I’m going to see Sasuke” he stated, a chuckle pulling on the word which inadvertently made a pun the younger man couldn’t be aware of; sure, it was macabre to be amused by transplanting one sibling’s eyes into another but that was the way of the Uchiha, he supposed.

“You know where he is?” Kakashi breathed, his unsealed eye widened. “We’ve been looking for him for years, ever since he left to train with...”

“Heh, you haven’t got to worry about the snake” the raven haired shinobi laughed, his hands resting atop black-pant covered hips; “he was no match for your former student when push came to shove and now, as he should, Sasuke’ll attain the power of his birthright and help to bring the new world to fruition” he said, his grin widening when his guest frowned at him.

“You keep on talking about this new world of yours” he murmured, his hands unceremoniously tugging the silky fabric across his body a little tighter when he noticed that his (former) friend wasn’t meeting his gaze but roving that singular, deadly dojutsu all over him. “I’m not sure what you mean by that... or whether I want to know, but it scares me when you talk about it...”

“Ha! The great Hatake Kakashi is scared of something? Wow, we’d better alert the media...”

“I’m being serious here” the silver haired ninja spat, his body straightening; “do you really know what you’re saying, what you’re doing?”

“I’m the head of the world’s most wanted criminal organisation, you do the math” he snorted, his own posture standing a little taller as they regarded each other. “I hold all but two of the bijuu, my subordinates are some of the most powerful people any Nation has ever produced and my new world is for everyone, to realise the dream we’ve held for generations, to end all wars in exchange for peace and ultimate happiness” he announced, his tone awe-struck.

“Okay, fine, let’s say for a second that I believe you and that you can bring this new-world into reality... what price are you, all of us, having to pay for it?” the last Hatake asked, his expression now less angry and more concerned, his still slightly bruised lips pulling into a soft, worried frown. “Does the end truly justify the means? Hundreds of people have died, many more are dying at the hands of Akatuski right now and you seem to be absolutely fine with that” he furthered, his eye narrowed. “When we were younger, you would have fought tooth and nail to prevent what you’re currently putting into action...”

“I was stupid and naive back then” Obito cut in, a bitter anger lacing his words. “The boy you knew just wanted recognition, petty attention from a Village that saw him as nothing more than a body to throw at the enemy” he snapped, his sharingan spinning. “In any case, this conversation is over” he close to growled; “make yourself useful while I’m out by tidying this place up, would you? I should be back for lunch and neither of us will be happy if there isn’t a meal prepared for me” he concluded before, much to the other’s amazement, he pointed at the robe. “And don’t bother changing into anything else, either... I have no desire to tear up any of my clothes and you won’t need to be dressed in anything for too much longer” he snipped before, with a gesture, he swirled away and into the ether.

Watching him go, his body minutely relaxing when he was finally alone (trapped, but alone), Kakashi sucked in a deep breath and struggled to stay standing.

So this is what he was now? Little more than a concubine with house-keeping duties?

Scowling, he looked down at his hands, those battle hardened fingers weaving the familiar signs for the kage-bunshin; upon activating the final gesture, his chakra (that’d been slowly and sluggishly replenishing itself) faltered, the seals which laced the windows and doorways glowing a brilliant, green-ish hue which seemed to suck the vitality right out of him.

Yelping, he released the gesture with a hiss, his skin rippling with goose-bumps at the sudden chill his missing chakra left him with; he’d experienced energy depletion before, of course, bearing a dojutsu that wasn’t your own would do that to a person. However, this draining feeling was as terrifying as it was potentially damaging; where in the world had Obito found such dangerous techniques?

Sighing, the last Hatake looked down at his trembling hands and tried to settle his nerves; what a mess... how the hell had all of this happened to him, he couldn’t...

A light tapping against the glass had his eye snapping to the rain-peppered window, his entire body stalling in shock.

“Oh God...”

Chapter Text

Ruffling that mop of sun-shine yellow hair, his smile fond as Naurto tried to duck away amidst the laughter of the younger toads who’d gathered to greet him, Jiraiya couldn’t help his own chortle; looking on, Ma and Pa were smiling warmly whilst Mizuko waited patiently at his side.

He would be needing her skills to track down his old disciples, after all, and it was nice to spend this time (even if he could only afford half-an hour) with all of his extended, non-human family in the warm morning sun that graced the mountain he’d inadvertently found so many years ago.

Oh, how things had changed since then...

“Neh, Jii-chan?”

“Mmh?” he replied, the teenager finally stopping his squirming to glance up at him; “how is everyone doing, you know, back home?” he asked, those blue eyes (the colour of Minato, the sparkle of Kushina) peering up at him, a tinge of guilt tinting them a deeper shade of blue. “I... I’m trying to master the oil as quickly as I can, demo...”

“Oi, what’s with the face, huh?” the Sage chuckled whilst roping the boy into his side whilst the on-lookers quieted their chuckles and leaned in to listen; “you’re doing great... hell, you can ask Pa, I was nowhere near as quick on the uptake as you are, kiddo” he admitted, his tone a little sheepish. “Hell, when I fell into the pool my first time both he and Ma had to whack me for hours before my body stopped morphing! Really, you have never seen something so pathetic, I can promise you that” he grinned, his mirth dimming slightly as they regarded each other. “I’m so proud of you, your folks and Kakashi will be too, so no more of this dull attitude, alright? Just keep trying your best and you’ll be carrying this scroll in no time” he promised, his back shrugging the aforementioned script that accompanied him everywhere.

“Now, I won’t be gone for long, okay? Two, three days at most and I hope that you’ll be ready to show off how much progress you’ve made by then, you hear?”

“You got it, Jii-chan!” Naruto chorused; “I won’t let you down! Be careful, okay?”

“I will be, you do the same!” he called, his eyes closing into fond eye-smiles the likes of which Kakashi used to bestow whilst the boy launched himself back towards the pond and awaiting toad-priests, his energised whoop of “let’s do this!” resounding around the greenery and echoed by the toads who hopped after him.

“He’s got your spirit, Jiraiya-boy” Ma commented warmly, her small but immensely powerful form moving to perch upon his left shoulder; “Pa believes that he’s the child of prophecy... mm... and to think that he’s come to us so soon is a miracle all in itself” she added, her husband jumping to land on the opposite shoulder. “My, my, but he does so remind me of Minato-boy, too... and all you humans never do seem to appreciate my cooking” she furthered with a chuckle whilst the three of them observed the teen stripping off to the waist before assuming his meditative stance.

“Wari, Ma, we just don’t have any knowledge of good food, is all” the Sage tried to laugh off, a droplet of sweat momentarily appearing by his temple; “ah, and speaking of eating, Mizuko-chan, have you had breakfast yet?”

“Hai, boy-o” the little female croaked; “I’m ready to leave when you are.”

“Let’s be off then” he agreed, his head bowing at the ancient toads when they leapt to crouch upon the ground to view him; “thanks again for looking after him for me...”

“Nonsense” Pa huffed; “that boy’s just as much our family as you are... but, Jiraiya” he said, his eyes narrowed whilst he tapped his staff against the ground. “I have a bad feeling about all of this Akatsuki business, and a dream I had last night has left me very unsettled, yes, very unsettled indeed” he furthered through a frown. “Be sure to call us if you find trouble, my son, be sure to call even if you believe the odds are in your favour, promise me that you will before you go.”

“Of course, I promise you, Pa” the pale haired sannin replied through a blink and another bow; “both you and Tsunade-hime feeling worried about my venture to Ame can’t be just a coincidence...”

~*~*~*~

Chirping to call forth any frogs in the area to get much needed intel, Jiraiya watched whilst the small, purple-green female began her conversations with the creatures who’d answered her as he continued to quietly observe the rain-drenched structures in the near-distance.

Since when had Yahiko started to build sky-scrapers? Not that they were the worse or even the most imposing thing that scattered the industrialised landscape; it seemed that the peace between his disciples and Hanzo had brought wealth back to the Country he hadn’t seen for so long but the pollution, the darkness of the place was making him uneasy.

This was not the peaceful vision the young, orange haired boy had spoken to him about during their bitter-sweet parting all of those years ago...

“Boy-o?”

Blinking out of his observations, the Sage looked down at the summon, his right brow quirking at her worried look; “what have they told you?”

“A lot of things I don’t think you’ll like much” she stated, those large, amber eyes looking at each of the seven toads in turn. “These three claim that ningen in black cloaks painted red in places have often travelled into that Village smelling of blood and sometimes carrying bodies with them” she began, her frown deepening. “Then the two here say that a man and woman meeting the descriptions you gave me also wear those cloaks and are often seen around that biggest structure... that’s where the ningen take their dead to be cremated too, they think” she continued before gesturing to the last pair. “Mmh, as for them, they can’t be 100% sure but they claim to have felt huge plumes of chakra, natural chakra that only summons or bijuu can create coming from there every so often before just disappearing without a trace.”

Allowing his right hand to rub speculatively at his chin, Jiraiya found himself scowling; there was something terribly wrong about all of this.

“Tell them thank you from me” he murmured, his sandals squelching in the mud as he left the tree line and began to walk across the wide expanse of muddy, life-less earth which ringed the towering, grey smeared Village.

“Eto... do you want me to...”

“I would rather you stay, just in case” he said, his eyes still focused on the monstrous structures mocking him from behind steel-wool clouds; “if your little friends are right then the children I helped to raise and train have betrayed everything I taught them... and if that is the case then I am walking straight into a trap” he muttered, his tone lacquered with anger. “Hmm... and Nagato, as sweet as I remember him being, carries a dojutsu that no shinobi alive today can battle... I dread to think what he could be truly capable of and these old bones won’t... eh? Mizuko, are you?”

“Jiraiya-boy...” she breathed, her eyes the size of saucers. “That scent, you know, the one you summoned me to track two days ago? I can smell it... hai... it’s faint but it’s carrying on the wind... it’s fresh” she added whilst popping up, onto her hind-legs and bouncing in the air. “He’s... he’s somewhere up-high, I’m sure of it!”

“W-what, you’re certain?” he whispered, his head snapping back to the tallest tower, his eyes desperately searching the lighted windows taunting him in the artificial darkness that the weather which haunted this land created.

“I suggest you henge us both and get going” the summon ordered whilst leaping ahead; “I can scent some other, unpleasant things, too...”

Chapter Text

Slithering effortlessly through the glass, its monochrome body never once stirring the seals that’d so quickly moved against Kakashi, the silver haired jonin baulked when it stood (as though it owned the place) in the exact same spot he’d occupied earlier, its body now mostly black.

“Bakashi” it greeted with a nod; “I thought that you might be lonely, so...”

“How... how can you be here when Obito said you were...”

“Oh, but I am with our friends downstairs and I am learning all kinds of things about copulation, but not in the way I would prefer” it stated, its form seemingly gliding over the carpeting, the Akatsuki cloak pooling around where its feet should be. “I’m also in Konoha, the river near Mei-sama’s home, Suna no Kuni, Kumo no Kuni and oh so many other places” it chuckled darkly, its head cocking to the side.

“I can smell your fear of me... it is quite... invigorating” it purred, its smile wide and predatory; “whatever will you do now, I wonder?”

Glaring at the ichors being (any hint of the childish, strangely (or rather, darkly) playful persona no longer present), Kakashi darted backwards and slammed the bathroom door shut, his fingers swiftly locking it before he turned, fled to the back of the room and began to hunt for anything he could use.

Aside from shampoo, a few sponges and a set of toothbrushes, there was nothing.

Of course there was nothing! This was a ridiculous...

“Knock-knock... ah, well, actually, I guess that I don’t need to do that now, do I?”

Scowling, the disembodied head of the creature poking (almost comically) through the door, the last Hatake took a taijutsu stance, his singular eye narrowed; “I’m not sure if it was you who was here, but surely you know what Obito said to one of your kind” he tried, his feet sliding a little on the moist tiles. “He’ll seal you back inside that statue if you touch me... it was enough of a threat to stop you last time...”

At the sound of warped, genuinely amused laughter, the jonin snapped his jaw shut, his whole body tensing.

“Hee-hee-hee-hee... you believe that... that child holds any sway over me? He or his great-uncle?” it chuckled through a hiss; “my mother will crush them, as all of your kind will be crushed, with her return... they are merely a, hmm, what’s the phrase?” it asked, its unnatural grin splitting its face. “A means to an end...”

Blinking, his eye watching a few long, vine-like tendrils slither out from beneath the coat the other wore, the former Konoha ninja prepared himself to move or block any possible strikes whilst he mind whirred; this thing, whatever it was, seemed to like the sound of its own voice.

He could work with that...

“You’ve spoke of your mother before” he said, his wariness levelling up when it full entered the room; “she seems very important to you... you must have gone through a lot of trouble if you need so many powerful people to bring her back from wherever she is...”

“Oh yes, yes, I’ve spent close to a thousand years nurturing and preparing the way for her” it chattered, a tendril whipping out to snag the other by the middle and his ankles, its movements far faster than what a chakra-damaged ningen could hope to see. “Mmm, I had all but lost hope until Madara cheated death and finally developed the rinnengan... maa-ee, then Nagato came along and, before you know it, I have everything I need and more!” it close to sang as Kakashi struggled, the weird flesh pulling him towards the monster.

“Well, almost everything” it relented, its body slinking (captive in tow) towards the shower cubicle which it opened with a gesture before spilling inside; it was large, the modern shower-head jutting out from the ceiling and tiled smoothly throughout.

“Oh yeah? And what is it that you’re missing? Maybe I could help you to...”

“All nine of the bijuu... his precious little pets... such a bad son, such a naughty, terrible, foolish old man... and yet they called him Sage, they called him Kami, the head of all Six Paths, when it was her power, her guidance, her wisdom that made him what he was!”

Huffing, his back roughly pushed into the shower’s only wall (the frosted glass which ensconced them making the rest of the electric light accented room foggy and distant), the last Hatake couldn’t hold back the shocked, worried gasp that left him when cool, marshmallow-like flesh divested him of his haori before it stepped back to observe him.

“W-wait, wait please...” he tried, his eye watching the black fabric drop away to reveal what he could only describe as a mishmash of ebony and ivory flesh that made a firm mockery of a human male’s body... complete with long, thick, fat helmeted male genitalia painted in black, pulsing in white.

He swallowed thickly, a chunk of ichors moving to play with the taps until a stream of cold, then hot, then perfectly warm water jetted down in the relatively small gap between them, soaking them both and the fabric at their feet.

“D-don’t... don’t do this...”

“Hmm? You don’t like it?” Zetsu asked, its tone as curious as it was confused; “my research indicates that the phallus being plump and extended is preferable... and I made sure to web hundreds of nerve receptors around it so that I could experience the inside of you properly... Hn, the ridges should be pleasurable for you too” it reasoned before looking into that widened, slate grey eye. “Ah, you’re worried that I’m just going to jab it into you, that’s it, right?” it queried, its grin now a sly smirk; “not to worry, Bakashi, since you’re male you can’t produce a natural lubricant... but I can provide some for you” it promised, its hands teasingly stroking down the human’s chest.

Around them, parts of its body had jetted out to secure and cocoon them within the cubicle (just in case anyone tried to interrupt), a rope or two dripping over its prisoner’s shoulders lattice quaking arms out to his sides whilst raising him off the wetted floor.

“N-no... wait... I...”

“Mm, now then, if I recall, male human’s become sexually stimulated when touched down there, yes?” the creature mused, a dollop of its form curving over an ivory hip to envelop a (now) truly panicking Kakashi’s nether regions, the soft, smooth tissue (so much like Obito’s) carefully, gently massaging him.

“H-hey... that-t’s... I don’t-t...”

“Neh, would you look at that? It’s so interesting to see how quickly the blood pools there... simply fascinating” it stated, its eyes wide as though it could actually view the hardening of his captive’s erection. “Hmm, I bet entering a person is more fun than being entered, though... not that I dislike what Hidan-san and Kakuzu-san are doing to my chief clone right now but I think that I’ll enjoy doing that to you more...”

“And-d what-t about m-ee, huh?” the last Hatake spat, his hips squirming thanks to the conflicting feeling of pleasure mixing with the horror of the situation. “N-no one se-ems to... to give a... a damn about-t wh-what I w-want...”

“Eh? Ah, but that’s the cruelty of this human world, isn’t it?” the chakra being reasoned; “have you often stopped to ask any of the people you’ve been told to kill what they wanted? Nah? I mean, you may not have ever invaded someone’s body like yours has been invaded, but killing is pretty intimate too, isn’t it?”

“I...”

“And speaking of intimate, you’re hardening up nicely, so let’s see about getting you ready...” it close to purred, its body now moving between trembling legs which its flesh was grabbing to pull up and around that mockery of a waist. “Now then, this lubrication isn’t as fancy or as sweet as what Hidan-san likes to use but it’ll help to make everything more slippery” it promised, its left hand covering the jonin’s mouth (and smothering his protests) whilst its right began to bead and dribble with a creamy, slick looking substance.

Then, moving in close, it began it fondle its way underneath the quaking globes of the human’s widely spread cheeks, two fingers jamming curious tips past a clenched, puckered entrance, their motion causing his prisoner to yip.

“Ooh... now that is interesting... mm, I haven’t been making my clone’s orifice tight enough, it seems” the ichors creature stated, its tone fascinated whilst delving deeper, the jest of water streaming down riveting through its sodden green hair and face whilst silver wedges slacked down Kakashi’s forehead and framed his high-coloured cheeks.

“Ah, perhaps another finger? Maybe two? I hadn’t realised that you would be this tight or this hot” it commented casually; “mm, should I decrease the size of my phallus? No, no I think a little more stretching will be sufficient so that I can have a true experience of coupling” it decided, those fingers rooting around and searching out clumsily until...

“Uummppphhhh!”

“Hai-hai... that must be the prostate? Oh! You tighten even more when I touch it... what a marvellous biological response” it praised whilst rubbing the spot and releasing more of the cooling, translucent substance inside the cavity it was so eager to explore. “Okay... I think that is sufficient, now, if I lift you a little higher, pull you away from the wall, line up and... hmm, how do human’s do this without further support? I should imagine it’s quite difficult” it murmured, its hand now generously slathering the engorged cock it’d made before pressing the tip at the quivering entrance.

Whimpering behind the fingers which capped his mouth, Kakashi tried his best to relax as the firm, rounded tip butted against him a few times before Zetsu finally managed to push it in, his eye rolling back whilst he tried not to scream and smash his head into the wall supporting his shoulders, neck and head.

“Mmm... I knew that this would be better... no wonder human male’s like to do this activity so often” it breathed out through a warm, pleased chuckle, both hands now shifting to cup the firm flesh of the other’s ass to spread him wider, the rest of his dick struggling to sink in as he jerkily thrust until his make-shift scrotum pressed firmly against the human he’d caught.

“Aaahhh... ahh... ah... please... you’re too...”

“Oh come on, I haven’t even started yet” the ichors being cooed, its tongue lolling out to caress the squirming man’s cheek before taking longer, firmer laps starting at a pinked, pebbled nipple all the way up to the sealed sharingan. “Yummy...” it chuckled, its eyes closing whilst Kakashi struggled weakly even as the slow, jerky thrusting inside his stretched channel continued until he cried out again, the monster grinning widely around its tongue.

“Hee-hee-hee, there we go... now then, I’m meant to go faster aren’t I? Good-good, I really like how you body clings to me, my nerve endings are all tingly and just sucking up that delicious heat of yours... ohh... you’re getting hotter and tighter... is this pace good? Hmm? Am I going deep enough? Fast enough? No? You like it deeper, yes, your body clenches so tightly... can you hear those lovely noises you’re making? Do you know how sweet that is? Hmm? Oh... but I think I’ll ask mother to spare you for me... we’ll change you, of course, make sure you can last as long as we do... ah... ah so good, so tantalising... Umm... perhaps I could alter your cells... yes... add them to my own... make more... fill you with them... fill you with my seed like a human male does... Ahh... yes, yes your body needs me deeper, doesn’t it? Your phallus is as hard as mine... getting harder... mmm... here, let me angle you that way... Ooohhh!! Oohh! You squeeze me so good, so right.... hai-hai, scream for me, scream.... you’re getting close... just a... a little more... Hmm... I don’t want this... to end... just yet though... Ah! But... but it’s too... too much...”

Wailing, his body quaking with the strength of the orgasm that was wrenched from him, Kakashi saw the abyss swallowing before he really knew what was happening, his body slumping bonelessly whilst a roaring, inhuman sound filled his ears and something cold, so awfully cold started to fill him to his core.

If he hit the tiled floor then he was too far gone to feel it...

Chapter Text

Invisibility was, he’d admit, not his strong suit...

“There... there is so much... death here...”

However, utilizing the oil’s unique abilities was something he’d been practising since his youth and he was a Sannin, after all...

“Just try your best to focus, Mizu-chan, you’re doing great...”

The skyscraper they’d managed to enter (the guards at the eastern entrance were fairly competent shinobi but, fortunately, no match for the genjutsu he’d managed to cast upon them as they approached) was not only tall but was a veritable, literal maze.

They’d been climbing stairs, flitting through floors and finding empty room after empty room for over half an hour...

“Ano... boy-o, that shaft... that ventilation shaft... I can smell people and... not-people... do you want me to...”

“Hold on, I’ll transform and come with you” the Sage stated, their forms crouched in one of the larger, wider stairwells; with a few, well-practised hand-signs, his body condensed its currently odourless, transparent body into a toad roughly the size of Pa. Then, the pair of them double checking that they were still unobserved, they prized open the stainless steel (a key feature in the grey, muted ambience of the whole Village, apparently) grate and shuffled their way in.

“Okay, which way?”

“Still up” the female croaked, her raspy voice gently echoing amidst the hum of the actively churning fans twirling all about the tubes they were crawling through; “Jiraiya-boy... there are so many awful things I can scent... all around us...”

“And I’m sorry to keep asking you to go through all of this, but Kakashi, the man you’re tracking, his father was like a brother to me... and he’s my grand-student too” the human added; “I promise that I’ll make this up to you when we find him, alright?”

“Neh, you better, boy-o... my nostrils are killing me...”

~*~*~*~

The smell of freshly washed, clean fabric reached him first, his eye fluttering as consciousness over-ruled the blank state he’d been trapped in.

‘What?’

Trying his best to move, the thick-heaviness of the duvet doing little to persuade his sore, aching form that getting up was something he should do, Kakashi grunted whilst pulling himself into a sitting position, his gaze taking in Obito’s bedroom with a wary, confused expression.

Everything was spotless; the scent of soaps, cleaning products and laundry detergent hung heavily around him, causing his nose to crinkle as a sneeze tried to escape; for what must have been the millionth time, the last Hatake truly mourned the lack of his mask.

‘But... none of this makes sense...’ he thought, his legs shifting out of the covers so that he could stand...

“Ahh!”

It was easier said than done; “so... it wasn’t just a nightmare, then?” he asked himself, his legs wobbling whilst he looked down at the covers, his hands moving to pull them back into place when a note caught his eye.

“Our little secret, Z.”

Glaring at the paper, a light touch of his fingers igniting it to dust sized cinders, the silver haired jonin scowled murderously at the place where the parchment had been before slowly shuffling to the bathroom; a flick of the light-switch revealed a glistening, all but sterile chamber with everything in its place and fresh towels accenting the areas where they were need.

Huffing, his hands self-consciously tightening the haori he’d been wrapped in (somehow dry, somehow clean), he made his way (slowly, carefully) to the living area, his eye widening at the small dining table decked out with covered, cold platters, two wine glasses and a bottle of the substance sitting between lit candles.

“I must be in a coma” he reasoned aloud, a quick inspection of the kitchen and lounging area portraying a similarly well-cleaned and beautifully tidied environment; “either that, or I’m in hell...” he sighed, his bare feet bouncing lightly upon the plush carpeting before being cooled upon the marbled floor which paved the way to the communal area and a useless, taunting door.

So, now what could he do? Wait around for Obito like an obedient wife, the other man’s slippers and pipe in hand? Or maybe he should start taping on the walls and see if Zetsu wanted another roll in the shower as payment for the cleaning he’d done?

Kami... how was this his life now?

Sighing, his eye lingering on the tall, green bottle upon the table, Kakashi was tempted to grab it and empty the contents right down his throat but, the shaking of his legs getting progressively worse, the jonin found the sofa he’d been dropped onto when the Uchiha had rescued him was his best bet.

At least there he could sit and look out of the floor-to-ceiling windows and fantasise about launching himself through them.

Knowing his current streak of luck, the seals would either leave him comatose or, perhaps, something equally as horrifying as what he’d experienced during these five days would catch him before he could hit the bottom.

The thought dragged a broken, ragged chuckle out of him, the force of it rattling his silk covered shoulders whilst he sat there, his head held in his hands...

“I... I just want... to go home...”

“Kakashi? Is that you?”

Head snapping up with a speed that could’ve snapped his neck, the last Hatake thought he might be imagining things until, with a pop, sizzle and clatter, a small grate skittered across the kitchen floor and a pair of toads leapt into the room.

“W-what... you... J... Jiraiya-sama-a” he breathed, his fingers gripping the cushions with such force that it hurt, his body trembling for completely different reasons when the Sage rushed to him, his own eyes tearing whilst the younger man struggled to see through the moisture cascading down his cheeks. “Y-you’re here... are you... are you r-really?”

“Yeah, yes, yes it’s me... My God, what have these monsters been doing to you, I...”

“P-please... we... we have to leave... he... he’ll be back soon...” the bruised shinobi warned, his mind and body offering no protest when strong arms whisked him up and cradled against a powerful, slightly heaving chest; “t-the, the seals...”

“Don’t you worry about them, we’re going to go straight to the Mountain” he close to growled, his mind stuttering when realised that the other was so much lighter, was quaking and timorous in a way that he’d never expect from a man of the last Hatake’s strength and resolve.

Oh, how he would make these Akatsuki bastards pay for what they’d done...

“Boy-o... the walls... something is... its inside the walls...”

“Mizuko, quickly, enact the reverse Kuchiyose no Jutsu!” he ordered, his glare sharpening when several white heads and tendrils started to sprout out of the chamber’s main structures, their eerie eyes furious as they yelled ”that’s mine! Give him ba...!!"

The fresh, clean air skating across his adopted home-land had never felt sweeter...

Chapter Text

“Eh? Jiraiya-boy, what are you doing back so... Oh! By the Sage!”

Yelping, her legs kicking towards their adopted-son, Ma sang out for the medics whilst the Sage wheezed and hissed around the singed, burning smoke of his hair and clothes, his cough wracking even as he gently lowered his two passengers to the soft, mossy ground.

“What in the world happened to you? Is that, my stars, it is! Kakashi-boy, by heavens! We thought you were...”

“Ugh! Chh, those seals... I haven’t encountered... anything like them... we nearly didn’t make it back...” the older human cut in through a choking fit whilst releasing the scroll from his back and patting at the burning fabric of his ruined clothes (a small cluster of toads already seeing to their sister and the last Hatake).

“Oh my! Shall I send for Pa and Naruto-kun?”

“No, leave the boy to his training, for now” the ningen advised as he sat cross-legged and eagerly accepted the cup of spring-water offered him, his worried gaze falling to a quietly rasping, unconscious Kakashi whom was being spread out beside an equally traumatised Mizuko. “Let’s just focus on getting these two stable first... ohh, that’s great, thanks” he complimented, his head nodding at the two healers who were systematically treating the burns which’d ravaged his arms and legs. It was a further blessing that his hair, infused with chakra as it was, had shielded them effectively when they made the jump to Myoboku or, the Sannin feared, the damage could have been much worse.

“Ano.... Mama, this human, he is dehydrated, suffering extreme chakra fatigue and, umm, these marks, this bruising...”

“Take him inside, quickly, none outside of the medics are to know of his presence here” the matriarch stated, her eyes looking at the young man’s most bare legs, exposed throat and mask-less, sleep softened face. “Call only those with experience in such assault, Koji, and make sure that any curious eyes are turned elsewhere” she added whilst a team of man sized toads scooped up and escorted the silver haired shinobi towards one of the largest, bamboo constructed huts.

“That poor child” she breathed as Jiraiya rose to join them, a smaller team of summons carrying the young female who’d been such a help to him. “What will you do, return him to Konoha when he wakes?”

“With Tsunade travelling to the Kage summit, I don’t think that that’s such a great idea” he replied gruffly, his now cup free hands still knocking ash from his proud mane of spiked, white strands; “also, I can’t trust that anywhere back home will be safe for him” he added, his expression torn between anger and worry. “The captivity he was under strongly suggests to me that he wasn’t merely being kept as a trophy or for the sharingan, no... there’s something else afoot, and I fear capturing Naruto and securing the kyuubi is at the heart of it all” he grunted.

“He will stay with us, then” the female stated with finality; “I don’t care how powerful those dastardly cowards are, without a contract, none of them can break through our borders” she reasoned with a firm nod. “Aoba, make a room ready for our guest, would you, and tell Naruto-kun...”

“I think, for now, it’s best that we leave things as they are” the Sage advised, his tone serious. “I’d rather the kid not see Kakashi like this... in many ways, Minato’s son has lived through terrible traumas and hardships but, to find his teacher, a man who he so greatly respects and cares about in such a state” he breathed, his eyes closing. “Even I shudder to think what the boy has been through...”

“I understand” Ma murmured; “come on then, let’s get you cleaned up and tucked away” she offered, a smile trying to pull at her lips. “When he’s feeling better, I’ll arrange a party for the three of you, neh? It’ll be nice to celebrate his survival and Naruto’s mastery of the oil together now, won’t it?”

~*~*~*~

Winning over Sasuke had been as simple as it had been quick and now, his body propped against a wall in one of the smaller safe-houses, Obito watched the teenager feel around the bandages which looped around his head, the scowl he’d worn earlier dropped to a neutral, resolute line.

“In the morning” the older began, “I’ll bring your team here and then transport you all to Kumo no Kuni... you’re certain that acquiring the eight-tails is something you want to do?”

“You don’t think that I can?”

“That’s not what I asked” the senior Uchiha sighed in what he hoped sounded like a concerned tone of voice; “you’re your own man now, Sasuke, you’re free to do as you please and I do not want you acting on my behalf for any reason other than...”

“The Village must be made to suffer as my brother did, all of them, every last one” the teen hissed, his fists clenching. “You’ve promised me my revenge, my much needed retribution in return for my loyalty, so you have it” he continued, his words causing the other to grin behind the thickness of his mask. “If you want the bijuu, I will get them for you, I will get anything you need so long as what you want doesn’t prevent me from righting the wrongs done to our Clan, my family” he furthered, his voice alive with chakra spiked malice.

“Very well, then” Obito stated sagely whilst making a quiet, gentle approach. “I have left rationed provisions to your right and toiletries to your left... I’m sure that you don’t require a baby-sitter and would prefer this time to reflect on your brother and our plans for the future” he said, his right hand giving the boy’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Your decision to join me will make those you fight to remember and preserve proud and soon, very soon, you will get to see them again” he promised before standing, his kamui activating to swirl him out of the room just as a strangled sob filled the air.

A small part of him, a part that worried like Rin and glared like Kakashi, nagged as he departed, wondered how he could simply leave the boy with his hurt when he should have stayed, should have comforted him.

Ah, but what use is comfort in such a cold, fake reality?

What was the use of anything until Madara returned to unmake, remake the world into what it should be instead of what it was?

In the cool, emptiness of the dimension he alone could access, the Uchiha released a breath, gathered his thoughts and prepared to re-enter the apartment Pein had afforded him, his eyes planning on finding his former team-mate putting a meal together.

What he found instead, however, made his teeth grit to the point of breaking...

~*~*~*~

“Mama, he’s waking up now...”

Blinking, both of his eyelids fluttering open, Kakashi startled for a second when he was greeted by four bulbous, warty heads crowding his vision, the aprons they wore signed with the word for healing as they helped him to sit up on the futon he’d been using.

“How are you feeling?”

Turning to the small chamber’s doorway, his shoulders sagging in relief, the last Hatake watched as the toad matriarch and Jiraiya (his tall body crouching) entered the room to sit at his side, the elderly female careful grabbing and soothing his left hand.

“I’m all the better for seeing you and for being here” he admitted tiredly, the covers pooling at his waist concealing the over-sized clothes (clearly the Sannin’s) that he’d been draped in whilst he moved to return the summons’ gesture. “I have so much to tell you” he continued, his dojutsu eye (finally free of the seal but draining precious energy) closing as his free hand roughly shoved a portion of jagged bangs to cover it like he had during those ill-fated ANBU days; “I’m struggling to think of where to begin...”

“You just take your time, alright?” the older man stated, his tone warm with his concern; “there’s no need to rush... you’ve been sleeping for the best part of two hours... mm, it looks as though you needed it...”

“Hai...” the younger sighed out, his words cutting off any further comment on his current state; he didn’t know whether be mortified or embarrassed about what had happened to him at the hands of the Akatsuki, all he knew was that he never wanted to see any one of them again.

Not even Obito...

‘Oh yeah...’ a small, secret part of him whispered, ‘of course you don’t...’

“Hey, kid, can you hear me?”

Blinking, his eye re-focusing, Kakashi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, a soft, genuine smile tugging his lips. “Wari” he said, a chuckle forcing its way from his throat; “I guess I zoned out for a second there... maybe it was using the sharingan just now” he reasoned whilst regarding the only other occupants of the room (the medics having left to grant them their privacy). “Ano... which one of you broke the seal, was it your husband by any chance?” he asked, finger tips pressing over the closed lid to feel it spinning whilst his natural eye widened when the pair exchanged quizzical glances.

“It was un-sealed when you arrived here, my dear” the matriarch answered whilst Jiraiya rubbed thoughtfully at his chin; “perhaps the process of you leaving that cursed place released it...”

“Mama! Jiraiy-sama! Come quickly!!”

Baulking, their shocked faces turning to a guard as he braced himself against the door whilst the sounds of yelling, screaming and calls for back-up rang around the building in time with the booms and thunder that accompanied explosions.

“Fushi! What in the world is...”

“A man... a man without a contract and an orange mask he... he just appeared in the clearing outside...”

“Kami-damn-it! How the hell...”

“Please, Jiraiya-sama, Pa and Naruto-kun are too far away to help... they’re training by the Ancient One’s temple with Gamabunta-sama and his sons...”

“I’m on my way...” the sannin growled, his knuckles cracking as he stood to leave, an aura of lethal killing intent swirling around him whilst he made to follow the matriarch; “it’s about time I got to smash one of these punks into ground...”

“Wait! Jiraiya-sama, let me come with you...”

“Not a chance!” the older huffed, his hair bristling. “I’m not letting a single one of them within spitting distance of you, so just hold tight and let me handle this...”

“But my sharingan... that’s how he got here, that’s why the seal was broken, don’t you see? You’ve got to let me...”

A screeching squall tore through his words as, the structure groaning, crackling and crumbling, the wall to their right imploded and vanished within the vacuum swirling into that singular eye-hole; standing there, a plethora of wounded, unconscious toads scattering the mossy ground around him was one furiously livid, concealed Uchiha Obito, his gloved hands clenched into blood-stained fists.

“Hatake Kakashi” he snapped, his voice deep and menacing; “surrender to me now and that will be the end of it” he ordered, his left arm spreading outward to showcase the fallen summons around him.

“Refuse, and I will release all seven of the bijuu I have collected here” he added, that masked head cocking to the side; “they shall not cease their attacks until every last inch of this place has burned to cinders...”

Chapter Text

The old adage about there being no rest for the wicked had finally caught up with him, it would seem.

“You! How dare you come to my home land and attack the innocent people who live here! I’ll...”

And yet, there was something different about the man who stood before the gaping hole in the medical hut; he’d only knocked the toads away, it seemed and, although injured, he couldn’t see or scent any fatalities.

“Ha! Why talk of such pointless and stupid things sannin... you earned that title through your ability to slaughter your enemies en masse, didn’t you? Are you suggesting that these disgusting little creatures never rushed to your aid? You can’t...”

He had to act fast; the words of Mianto-sensei and Rin ringing in his ears, the jonin snatched the medical notes (they were his and made for unpleasant reading) beside him and hoped that the posturing between the two would give him the time he needed to scrawl what he knew, what he planned to do.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve criticising me you jumped up, arrogant little...”

“Do not push me you senile, old fool! I am one move away from bringing hell to this place! With only a gesture I can...”

“That’s enough!”

Feeling his legs move before he knew what was happening, the sound of Jiraiya yelling not reaching him until he stood directly before the Uchiha, Kakashi pulled back his right arm and landed a solid, echoing blow across the man’s masked head, his eye narrowed when the other didn’t move to stop him but merely grabbed the his wrist of his offending hand.

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” he hissed, the slightly taller man’s grip tightening minutely as they stood amidst the dozen or so toads who were being carefully carried away whilst larger, stronger looking warriors encircled them as Jiraiya’s towering form warily approached.

“Surely that is my line” the Akatsuki leader stated, his tone dull and completely unaffected by the firm blow he’d just taken; “we had an agreement...”

“You set the terms” the younger man seethed. “And you broke one of them when that thing...”

“I am aware” Obito cut in, his sharingan sliding to view the sannin, the tomoe spinning into a more lethal pattern; “we will discuss this further at another time...”

“No, you’ll get the hell out of here while you’re still breathing, you crazy son of a bitch!” the eldest human spat, his words echoed by the summons’ as many held their webbed hands ready to perform signs whilst others eagerly brandished a plethora of weapons.

“Stay out of this” the Uchiha snarled quietly, a dangerous vibe of chakra leaking throughout his tone. “I will not hesitate to slay the lot of you” he then called, his head tilting to regard what should have been an incredibly intimidating sight with a shrug and a complacent gesture of his free hand before refocusing on Kakashi. “Would you like to watch me do it?”

“You’ve not got the time for that, have you, Madara-sama?” the last Hatake countered, his frown grim and resolved; “I’m not doubting your ability or your intent but you’re on a tight schedule, aren’t you?”

“Watch what you say...”

“You should try following your own advice” the ivory skinned ninja breathed before, with a sigh, he turned his head to regard one of his father’s closest friends, his expression the epitome of serious. “No one else has to suffer today, there doesn’t need to be any more bloodshed...”

“Kakashi, don’t... you can’t just throw your life away...”

“I’m still a nukenin, Jiraiya-sama” he reasoned bluntly. “You don’t owe me anything...”

“You’re being ridiculous!” the Sage close to yowled, his hand moving to snag an arm swamped in one of his cream under-shirts; “I won’t let you...”

“He’s mine...”

In what felt like slow-motion, Kakashi was being pulled into a black-cloaked, well muscled chest...

“No!”

The Uchiha’s head brushed past his, a naked chin perched upon a shock-stiffened shoulder...

“Jiraiya-boy!”

The borrowed sharingan spun wildly in its socket, making him dizzy...

“Nnngghhh...”

Everything had happened so quickly...

“Attack!”

The surge of chakra released by the toads, by his former friend surged up around him in successive, tsunami waves...

“Kamui...”

The world tilted on its axis...

“Jiraiya!”

Huffing, his shout cut off when he hit a cool, flat surface, Kakashi glared up at the masked man who towered over him in the strange, greyish-darkness, his frown furious; “what did you do?!”

“Itachi told me once that he’d used a similar technique on you and that he’d planned on bringing you to meet me a few years ago but was stopped by that green clad annoyance who constantly badgered us when we were children” he said, his voice lacking any emotion. “If his heart is strong enough, then he should survive those seventy-two hours of horror I’ve sent him to... you seemed to come out of it okay...”

“My God...” the younger breathed; “the tsukuyomi... Obito, that’s...”

“Tch, you worry too much... isn’t that old frog master of his an expert in releasing such things? That, and there’s always his favourite hag, isn’t there?”

“Ugh! I hate it when you spew bull-shit like that!” he yelled, his body moving to stand. “Those people you’re demeaning, they are people we care about, people we...”

“Thanks for the psychology lesson, Kakashi, but I don’t need or want your pathetic attempt at a guilt trip” the older of the pair huffed; “I’ve come too far and done too much... and besides, shouldn’t it be you thanking me? I could have sliced him in half, lanced through his heart, hell, decapitated him if I’d truly wanted... not that it would have mattered, nothing matters here...”

“Then why come after me?” the last Hatake asked, his gaze cautiously shifting around the expanse of square shaped columns which dominated the ethereal landscape before focusing his full attention upon Obito, his eyes trying to find anything in his lax stance, his seemingly calm posture.

“I have need of you” was the simple reply. “You will help me to destroy Konoha and secure the kyuubi...”

“Like hell I will...”

“Hmm, will, what a brilliant choice of words” the raven haired shinobi said; “you’re not immune to genjutsu, are you?”

Growling, a right hook flying, the jonin began a series of taijutsu moves which were blocked, countered, deflected, successful, returned, halted and stunted in a dance they hadn’t performed with each other since before Kannabi Bridge.

Part of him thrilled at the adrenaline, needed to move, needed to fight, needed to do something to defend against the useless, awful feeling of being helpless, trapped, a pawn in someone else’s games.

With a shout, he sent the other man flying with a series of aerial kicks, that demandable mask dislodging to shatter before the other ninja stood, a smirk pulling at his lips; “heh, not bad...”

“There’s no need to mock me” Kakashi spat, his form panting lightly (from a fight that he should breeze through, a fight that should win) as he mentally bemoaned how he’d been starved and assaulted in a way he never would have thought to prepare for.

So much for being a genius, he supposed; however...

“Listen” he breathed, his shoulders straightening as he slowly, carefully began to walk towards the still smugly grinning Uchiha, his resolve strengthening when the other didn’t lash out at his approach; “I need to speak with Madara...”

“Now what are you playing at? I’ve already told you that I’m not going to tolerate any of your...”

“Please” he said, his hand raising to cover the sharingan, the pale fingers he’d just used for inflicting harm gently resting over that scarred skin; “it’s really important that I talk with him.”

“I...”

“You’re being betrayed” he stated, both of his eyes focusing on the rinnengan that whorled and shifted, the iris widening so that the pitch-black nothingness could consider him; that same endless, menacing chakra was back, the harsh fingers snagging him by the throat removing any doubt about whom he was addressing.

“You try my patience, boy” that deep baritone rumbled; “who are you to demand an audience with me?”

“Someone who... hasn’t got much... left to lose...” he replied through gasping breaths. “But you do, don’t you? Aahhh!”

Chuckling, the sound strangely, thoroughly amused, Obito’s possessed body crouched down to leer at him from his sprawled out position upon the dull-chrome floor; “what a brave, daring little thing you are” he commented lightly. “A true Senjuu if ever I did see one and yet, I fear, brought so low by people other than the Uchiha” he mused, his smirk broadening when the silver haired shinobi glowered at him and rubbed at his neck. “We’ll have to do something about that when I return now, won’t we?”

Huffing and propping himself up on his elbows (his mind warning him not to appear as anything other submissive around the actual demon he was facing), the last Hatake took a breath to steady himself; “Zetsu is using you” he began, his eyes watching whilst that smirk dipped into a frown.

“Oh?” he murmured; “talk to you during your little tryst did he?” Madara continued, an imperious look clouding his features. “And your proof?”

“He called you and Obito a means to an end... he is only interested in helping you complete whatever plans you have in order to bring his mother back” he added, his head gesturing whilst he presented the sharingan. “A man of your skill should be able to view someone else’s memories through this dojutsu, right? Please, if you don’t believe me, you should...”

At the laughter (and by the Gods was he becoming increasingly more pissed off about the amount of people who were doing that to him lately), Kakashi snapped his jaw shut, a frown settling over his lips.

“Ah yes, Kaguya, hmm... well, as much as I’m touched by your concern, I am well aware of Zetsu, his history and intentions” the ancient ninja stated through a grin whilst standing with a long, languid stretch. “In fact, I’ve been relying on his desire to free that witch to keep him on-side for, you see, he believes that I wish to enact a technique which will free her, an act of great power which would, when completed, enslave the world in an infinite tsukuyomi” he sighed, a dry chuckle leaving him.

“That fool... I do, of course, have Obito believing in that plan too, just in case... but no, no that was never my intention” he admitted, his arms folding as he stared down at the silver haired young man (so very lovely, so strikingly similar to Tobirama).

“No, what I seek is the Sage’s legacy, his true power, to become the ten-tails jinchuuriki and hold dominion over life, death, space and time” he declared, a genuinely pleased smile softening his borrowed features; “when I achieve that power, a power that none can challenge, I will conquer and rule absolutely all of the Nations, I will wipe out war, poverty and disease... I will create a utopia and resurrect those needed for my service whilst vanquishing any who oppose me” he promised through a pleased, awe slathered sigh.

“It will be... beautiful...”

Chapter Text

‘Of course he’s bat-shit crazy... why ever would he be anything else?’

Lamenting the loss of sane company (and yes, he was definitely choosing to forget what it meant to be a jonin, in particular all of the gossip (which was true, accurate) passed between the chuunin in the missions-room), Kakashi decided it’d be wiser to let the Uchiha patriarch have his moment whilst carefully observing his surroundings.

Huh, so this is where the kamui led; perhaps, in one of the endless pits between the rising columns the skeletal remains of Deidara’s arm was lying.

At least he’d been able to damage one of the bastards, he supposed.

“You seem, unimpressed...”

Blinking, his miss-matched gaze flitting up to review Madara, the last Hatake withheld the urge to shrug but couldn’t quite on-line his self-preservation instincts fast enough; not that it mattered, really.

“That’s probably because I am” he heard himself sighing, the other’s face (instead of flooding with anger as he’d expected) allowing a pleased, challenging smirk to grace it.

“Is that so?”

“Sorry to disappoint you” he found himself adding, his body pulling up into a sitting position; “your utopia sounds wonderful, you know, and if subjugating the whole world is paradise then, well, congratulations, this plan of yours is just what everyone needs... Only, it’s not for everyone, is it? Just for those who are willing to live on their knees and beg you for the scraps you’ll throw every so often” he snorted, his eyes narrowed and his lips pulled into a mocking little smile. “Beautiful indeed” he all but sneered; “but I think I’ll pass...”

“Oh?” the older laughed; “you believe that you have a choice?”

“Of course I do!” the last Hatake spat, his eyes narrowed angrily. “I may not have your kind of prowess, chakra or stamina, but this is my life to do with as I wish” he snapped, his hands balling into fists upon on his knees as he stared up at Madara. “This past week has been a new kind of hell for me... I’ve been beaten, starved and raped but I’ll recover, I’ll be strong again, and when I am, I will...”

“Still be no match for a true Uchiha” the other cut in, that smirk still firmly fixed. “Hmm, your spirit, no matter how wild, should remain unbroken but tamed” he said with an air of finality, his borrowed hands forming signs for a kage bunshin.

Blinking, his body stiffening when a clone, not of his former friend and team-mate, but of a man with a long, thick mane of midnight hair, strikingly handsome (smug) features and dressed in a loose (but not as loose as the haramaki pants and over-top he currently wore) fitting ebony tunic and matching pants.

With the chakra-based form’s arrival, Obito seemed to come to himself again (his flesh hand rushing to grab his head whilst he stumbled) and the most casually dressed man turned glowing, crimson eyes towards him.

“I believe that we’ll begin your training now, what do you say, descendent?”

“What? What’s going... Madara-sama?”

“You’re not serious...” Kakashi breathed, his legs bolting into action as he glared the raven-haired men down. “No, that is it, I am not being subjected to anymore humiliation” he close to snarled, his hands moving to form a forbidden technique which would ignite the electric affinity within his veins, killing him with quick, unstoppable efficiency.

“I was a fool to think that I could help you, that I could do anything to stop this lunacy” he added, his body poised and mind resolved; “I’ll not let you use me anymore, for any reason” he hissed, his gaze sliding from the smirking Uchiha to the rapidly blinking one. “And you’re so very wrong about how easy you think it’s going to be... Naruto is his father’s son and when you meet him on the battlefield he’ll find a way to stop you” he warned, his own smirk forming; “I’ll tell Rin that you said ‘hello’...”

“Admirable” a voice cooed next to his ear, the words’ sudden utterance causing him to jerk in surprise even as strong hands snatched his wrists and parted them with ease; “but ultimately futile...”

“No! No! Get off of me!” he yowled, his mind boggling over how he’d missed (his sharingan had been staring directly at the bastard!) another clone, a clone that felt more physical than any he’d ever encountered before.

“Kakashi...”

“Obito please!” the silver haired ninja pleaded, his body struggling uselessly in a grip that didn’t budge no matter how hard he kicked at it or wrenched his shoulders; “if I ever meant anything to you then you won’t...”

“Ah, but this reality doesn’t matter, does it, descendent?” Madara purred, a look shared between the two (“no! Don’t listen to him!”) causing the younger, living male to sway slightly before, with a light shake of the head, he murmured a “no, no it doesn’t.”

“Bastard!” the last Hatake cried out, his knees buckling when the pair turned towards him, the elder leading the approach.

“Now, now, there’s no need to fret” the legendary shinobi stated; “we’ll not be doing anything that you don’t beg us for” he promised, his right hand reaching out to gently cup the trapped fighter’s cheek, his thumb securing that regal chin to effectively keep Kakashi from looking away.

Snapping his eyes closed, his left leg swinging upwards with all the force he could muster, the last Hatake grunted when it was easily caught at the knee, the hand which’d caught it squeezing tightly; “such a feisty little thing... you’ll get along well with Tobirama when he returns...”

“Ugh! I’m not going to be getting along with anyone!” the younger hissed adamantly; “I don’t know how you’re doing this... but if you don’t kill me now, then I’ll put every ounce of my life into ensuring you don’t get yours back!”

“My, my, what a hurtful thing to say” Madara chuckled, his hand releasing the other’s face as he turned to a dull-eyed Obito. “Let us return to that dismal plane of existence for a while, hmm? The safe-house in Tea-Country, if I recall, is private enough for our purposes” he stated, his grin never failing even as the word “kamui” shifted and spun the grey landscape into a familiar mix of verdant green and palate blue.

“No then, the special-tea you enjoyed with that young man from Kumo, you still have some, yes?”

Growling angrily, his body unceremoniously hoisted up and over a broad shoulder, the Konoha jonin tugged at the masses of hair within reach and scowled thunderously when the clone didn’t so much as hiss whilst Obito, his voice sounding clearer, coughed out a “Madara-sama, I... yes, I wasn’t sure if...”

“There’s no need to be bashful, my lad, you will co-inherit the world we save so it’s only fair that we start to share now, isn’t it? And besides, your young concubine will benefit from a good, strong brew... it should help to settle his nerves as he comes to realise his true place will be at our feet or in our beds” the taller man commented pleasantly.

“Obito! Don’t you fucking dare go along with this!” the silver haired male demanded, his eyes staring uselessly at the sweet smelling grass that his escort effortlessly crushed beneath its sandaled feet; “put me down you un-dead son of a... gah!”

Snorting (the lead clone having instructed the other to slap (harshly) their captive’s vulnerable backside), the ancient warrior reached the old (yet well preserved) former onsen first, his chakra signature instantly freeing the seals which locked the sliding, wooden-door in place.

“Bakashi... this doesn’t need to be so terrible, you know, it’s not as though you don’t enjoy it...”

Feeling his cheeks flood with embarrassed indignation, Kakashi raised his head to stare at (a sheepishly grinning) Obito who, once they’d all entered, closed and re-sealed the entrance.

“What? You, umm, you made all kinds of noises when we...”

“I’m going to castrate you when I get the chance” the last Hatake murmured darkly; “then I’m going to make you eat it!”

Chapter Text

Zetsu rarely had to berate itself, however, when extenuating one’s consciousness into multiple, duplicate bodies (with some requiring more sentience than others), keeping track of all of them (and what they did, especially those that were formed by younger, denser chunks of ichors), was growing more difficult.

“Do you know where they are now?”

“No...”

Sighing, the very human urge to face-palm almost too much to bear, Kaguya’s third child regarded the seven clones of itself dejectedly; “you shouldn’t have interfered” it scolded with a scowl. “Now Obito may not return to any of the rendezvous points that we’ve established... you’ve allowed your baser instincts to potentially damage the plan and the control I have...”

“Ano... that’s not really fair of you to say” one of the more twisted clones argued; “you got to do copulation in the dominant way” it added whilst gesturing to the floor. “Maa~ee, the one you sent to serve Hidan-san and Kakuzu-san is getting bored now that it has been chained up... why didn’t you send it with them? Don’t you want any of us going to that Kage meeting?”

“That Kage meeting won’t begin until tomorrow evening and I’m hoping that we can find and smooth things over with Obito before then” the original grunted. “If he does not declare the fourth shinobi war then we won’t have enough bodies to feed the tree” it grumbled, its own eyes shifting to the ground; “our brother needs to stay put for the time being since you” it gestured to the clone on the right “told them that Tobi would collect Kakashi later... Mm, not that it matters, those two probably shan’t survive a full-blown altercation with five of the most powerful ninja alive today... Hmm, remind me to collect Kakuzu’s, what were they called, negatives? Hai, we’ll make more copies of those images, too... they could prove useful in inciting the Hokage and her escorts into action, especially if the Uchiha does not show up at the agreed upon time...”

“Nah~ nah~ why does this have to be so complicated? We could just start the war...”

“Oh, so you can make a rinnengan, can you? And provide the chakra of thousands should they not take us seriously? Generate that much biomass without human-bodies, will you?” the black accented Zetsu snorted, its scowl more annoyed than angry. “I have waited so long to bring Haha-uei back... I can’t believe you rushing at that old toad may have completely ruined over a thousand years of hard-work” it close to whined.

“Eto... it’s not all bad” one of the paler clones piped up from the kitchen area. “That Sasuke-boy... the transplant was a success and he’s starting to try out his eternal mangekyou sharingan... neh, if Obito cannot bring Madara back like he plans, if that Kabuto-hebi is lying, then the younger Uchiha may develop a rinnengan that we can use” it reasoned.

“Mm! That’s true!”

“Maa~ maa~ that could work out!”

“Oi! Should we send him to catch the eight-tails now?” a lopsided ichors being slumped upon the small, broken dinner-table asked; “our brother is still watching Team Taka... should we give them cloaks? Send them to that mountain where Killer B is training? Eto... and what about Pein-sama? He wasn’t too pleased to move out of Ame... do you think that Jiraiya guy will come back like he said he could?”

“Meh, it’s unlikely” the original stated offhandedly; “but what idiots would stay in a hide-out that’d been found by an enemy? No... it’s probably for the best that all remaining Akatsuki members regroup just south of Hi no Kuni, that way securing the final piece to our puzzle will be more easily achievable” it reasoned. “So, with Kisame, Konan and all Six Paths awaiting orders whilst the zombie-combo are en-route to assist Madara tomorrow, so long as Obito doesn’t lose sight of his purpose, Haha-uei could be returned to use before this season’s end” it sighed, its demeanour so much cooler for having talked things through.

“You” it ordered, a gesture indicating three of the clones nearest Obito’s destroyed apartment’s door; “reunite Team Taka under our banner and direct them to the hachibi’s location” the leader ordered. “The rest of you are to monitor the Kage and ensure that our grand stage is set whilst I go to prepare our human forces” it stated, its golden eyes narrowed. “The kyuubi will return to Konoha soon, however, there’s no harm in preparing a way to flush him out now, is there?”

~*~*~*~

“What the hell did you just do to me?!”

And wasn’t he finding himself saying that every other day?

Ruffling his hair (as one might a dog they were particularly fond of), the clone (still stable, strong and almost physical) offered a smirk to the bound Hatake who had been sat within an old barrel to allow the Uchiha’s the time and manoeuvrability needed to set up their disused onsen.

“Just a precautionary measure, nothing more” the elder soothed with a chuckle. “You’ll not be tempted to end your life anytime soon, my dear” he added, his grin sharpening as that lovely face frowned, blinked then scowled at him.

“Why not go the whole-hog and just brain-wash me completely?!” the younger spat, his rope (it was old but tough and expertly knotted) strapped form rocking the wooden-confinement which ensconced him. “If you ever want me to bow and scrape to you, then that’s the only way you’ll ever get me to do it!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that” Madara quipped; “your training will be extensive once I’m revived but, for now, I’m sure that this little taste will go a long way to assuring you that you’re current understanding of what it is to serve the Uchiha is vastly different to the reality” he murmured. “Hai... you look at the world with young, inexperienced eyes... you are new to the ways of pleasure and have had only, what? Five days of crude treatment to inform your opinions?” he asked, his head tilting slightly. “Within a year, ah, perhaps even a month or two of a proper education, of being taught your place, you’ll come to enjoy your service... Hm, perhaps you’ll even come to support Tobirama in his role of overseeing the harem I’ll establish once the world’s been brought to heel...”

“You are fucking delusional!” Kakashi all but spat; “can you hear yourself? You’re talking like you’ve already won! Like everything has been decided...”

“That’s because it has” Obito called, his body leaning against a well hewn door-way; “don’t you remember me telling you so, Bakashi? Only, Madara-sama, I’d prefer to keep him at my side even when he’s not in use, if you don’t mind” he stated before standing upright to walk into the storage room. “He’s a self-righteous, reckless and arrogant pain in the neck but I don’t think Rin would be too pleased knowing that he’d been locked up in some sex-dungeon...”

“A sex what?”

“You leave Rin the hell out of this!”

“Maa~ Bakashi, it’s not like that” the younger Uchiha tried to calm, his hands raised in a placating gesture; “when she’s revived she’ll be as she was... and finally able to grow up in a world without war, a world you thought had been promised when Minato-sensei became Hokage” he sneered before regarding his ancestor, a light blush pinking his cheeks. “Heh, Madara-sama, do you remember when Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu and I visited Iron Country?”

“Ah... ah, I see” the long haired male murmured, his face curiously considering before wrinkling up; “what a horrid place that was... too much leather, too many desperate people and dull-eyed servers... no, no I think some of your more modern ways of securing concubines lack the finesse and etiquette I would prefer to harbour in our prizes.”

“I must be trapped in a genjutsu, this can’t be happening...” Kakashi muttered whilst sinking deeper into his barrel, his bang scattered forehead smacking into the metal rim as he closed his eyes and tried to centre his breathing.

“Is everything prepared?”

“Obito... Obito would never go to a... a... one of those places...” he continued, his head hitting the band once more; “concubines, Rin, fetish-dungeons, leather... no, no I’ve definitely been put under, this is just some really nasty trick that’s being played on me... Maa~ maybe Gai somehow learned how to utilize his chakra outside of taijutsu and this is a challenge I’m losing... or maybe I pissed off Raido... umm, that must be it...”

“Hai” the younger Uchiha replied, his right brow quirking when their guest continued to mumble to himself; “oi, are you...?”

“Oh please don’t concern yourself with my physical or mental well-being master” the silver haired jonin close to sang. “Hey, do’you know what though? I am real thirsty so why not bring on the tea? Hmm? No, seriously, if it’s special in the way you’re implying then, bring it on over, okay? Maa~ I hope you brewed several pots so I can be the perfect little server for you...”

“That’s the spirit” Madara applauded with no sense of irony or sarcasm whatsoever; blinking, Obito struggled not to face-palm whilst the silver haired jonin wilted down further until, with a yip, he was plucked out of the wooden structure by the back of his over-shirt. “Hmm, but these garments, they really need to go... will that cleaning-shop have finished restoring the kimono he was brought to that soaking-tower in?”

“Hai, they should have by now...”

“Fucking, marvellous...”

“Good, go and collect it” the elder ordered; “I would very much like to see him dressed appropriately for when we meet with our honourable foes tomorrow” he explained whilst effortlessly walking towards the younger. “Do not be gone too long, mind you” he furthered with a leer; “should I start his training without you then I will not tolerate having him distracted, do you understand?”

“Perfectly... I’ll be back soon... and I’ll bring some appropriate take-out, too...”

Chapter Text

“Hmm, these are grave tidings” Fukasaku sighed as he read the words his wife had rushed to give him after a cranky and groaning Jiraiya was released from a genjutsu that had him promptly sitting up and vomiting; luckily, they had prepared for that eventuality but not for what Kakashi had had to say.

“That dear, sweet boy” Shima murmured worriedly, her form perched upon the sannin’s back so that she could soothingly rub and pat his pain away; “is there no way to track him, Pa? Could that yukata not...”

“I fear with a man whom can leave and enter dimensions as he pleases, any tracking measures we could hope to use will prove fruitless, Ma” the elder frog leader sighed, his eyes scanning and rescanning the hastily written text. “Who would have thought that Uchiha Obito would be alive, let alone fronting a group of such vile and powerful villains?” he sighed, his solemn face then turning to a water sipping Jiraiya. “It is also as the native toads stated, my boy, both young Konan and Yahiko are amongst their number and they were seen fleeing Ame a few hours ago” he said, his right, fuzzy brow quirking. “And yet, there has been no sign of Nagato... could he perhaps be held as a prisoner?”

“No” the bristle haired male grunted, a healer moving to dab his sweaty brow whilst two others removed the pail; “no, he’ll be with them in some capacity, Yahiko would not stand for him or Konan to be used in such a way... hell, for all we know the swirled eye Kakashi describes when Madara surfaces could, somehow, be Nagato’s rinnengan” he reasoned tiredly. “We have lost so much information about that particular dojutsu and the Rikudō Sennin that I’m not sure what is folklore and what is fact” he admitted, his shoulders sagging. “Could you please read what he wrote aloud Pa? Knowing Minato’s pre-Naruto pride and joy he may have tried to add subtext to the words he chose regardless of the situation” he furthered through a shuddering stomach cramp. “I’d ask to see it myself... but my vision is blurring and time is...”

“Shh, shh, shh... just focus on relaxing your joints and listen” Ma instructed, her own attention shifting to her husband as he cleared his throat.

“Uchiha Madara, the legend, exists within the swirled eye carried by Uchiha Obito, my team-mate, orange-mask, controlled?... Zetsu is more than what it seems, it wants its mother returned, it needs all bijuu, hates Six Paths, something called the rinnengan is the key to everything... It has more than what it needs thanks to Nagato? A thousand years worth of planning... Naruto is the final piece. Obito is a pawn, Madara knows more than he’s letting on, his agenda involves revival, a new world, blood, not sensei’s way... Save Naruto, hide the kyuubi... I’ll stall if I can...”

Sucking in a deep breath, his eyes closing, Jiraiya put his head in his hands; so much for hoping that the Akatsuki were just another terrorist group out for power and fame...

“We must contact Tsunade” he said, his shoulders straightening as he looked from one toad leader to the next; “if I’m following the gist here, then there’ll be a whole world of trouble at that Kage summit... mm, and let’s hope that Naruto unlocks his potential soon...” he muttered through a wretch, his huge body slumming back onto the futon.

“We’re going to need all of the help we can get...”

~*~*~*~

So... the tea was amazing...

“Enjoying yourself, are you?”

“Figured I may as well” Kakashi responded, his limbs now free to move as he lounged (because fuck everything) beside the bubbling hot-spring, the tea’s sweet aroma helping to mask the ammonia that usually accompanied such places. “Lately it seems as though everyone else is getting to enjoy me which, by the way? Completely unexpected” he added, his fifth cup swiftly joining the fourth as he gazed (with ever growing pupils) at the bamboo fences which provided this former resort’s privacy.

“Truly?”

“Let’s just say that I’m not a peoples person” he mused, the first tea-pot almost empty (a fact that caused him to pout and Madara to leer).

“I find that hard to believe...” he countered; “is this, perhaps, the reason for that mask you used to wear?”

“Wow? Really?” the last Hatake snorted; “why is it that anyone bold enough to ask about that automatically assumes it has something to do with vanity or narcissism? Hell, the only exception is the group of genin I taught who were all convinced I was hiding some kind of deformity” he grumbled. “My Clan were called the Blood-Pack of Konoha in their heyday... the mask helped my keen sense of smell not to overwhelm me and enabled me to filter out scents I wanted to track” he huffed, the last of the teapot’s offerings gone. “Maa... I don’t even look at himself in the mirror, such things as appearances are immaterial to me...” he added before, with a shudder, he closed his eyes and felt a flush of heat bloom up his neck, across his cheeks and even touch the tips of his ears; “umm... is it getting warmer?”

“I did warn you not to drink so much, so quickly” the Uchiha chuckled, his body (so solid and tangible that he may as well be real) standing from where it had been sat in a meditative, lotus position just a few paces away from the (now lightly panting) shinobi he’d been guarding. “It acts quickly, doesn’t it? If I recall, the practitioners of these lands made such potions for poisons as well as pleasure even back when Hashirama and I were trying to unify these troubled territories” he chuckled. “Heh, that man, I may even bring him back so long as he drops that sanctimonious attitude” he admitted, his body skirting the silver haired male to kneel behind him. “It would do me good to have a sparring partner outside of the matches we will hold in the bedchamber, do you not think?”

Quaking, his vision blurring as a steadying hand grabbed and pulled his empty cup away, Kakashi sucked in a trembling gasp whilst firm lips pressed into the exposed column of his neck on the right side as (now vessel free) toughened, determined fingers pushed up and under his shit to pinch and pebble his sensitive nipples.

“Nngghhh...”

Smirking around the hickey he was working to darken, Madara let out a chuckle closer to a predatory growl whilst (at a speed the last Hatake would have found dizzying regardless of the tea) flexing those powerful arms to burst the garment open. “Up” was the command and the Konoha jonin, his breathing picking up speed (in time with the hardening of his member) felt himself rising on timorous legs, his feet aching at the cold stone he hadn’t previously been aware of whilst the scent of the lightly bubbling water made his head swim.

“Good boy, turn now, that’s it...”

Blinking dazedly, his mouth parted and naked from the waist up, Kakashi felt fingers dance through his silver strands, his head gently tilted back so that he could stare into sharingan lighted eyes whilst a finger (softly, curiously) ghosted over the mole (a kiss from his mother, his father had said) before it skimmed his bottom lip.

“Say my name...”

“W-what... I...”

“I will not ask again” Madara warned, his free hand tugging harshly at the tight belt which ensured Jiraiya’s haramaki pants did not fall from his more slender hips; “I will, instead, give you a consequence for disobeying...”

“I am... am not some-e slave or a dog... gwah!”

Grinning, shortened nails scraping into a tender scalp, the Uchiha fisted the hair and tilted the last Hatake back further, the position an uncomfortable stance for his neck and spine; “oh yes, you are so much more than that” he agreed, his form looming over the man whose clumsy hands were trying to move him away.

“You are mine” he stated; “and by mine, I mean that you belong to the Uchiha, you are Uchiha, that eye and your ability to please us is proof of it” he continued, a pained whine working itself free when he tightened his grip to the point of dislodging the hair he clutched. “You are ours and, as such, you will bend, you will kneel and you will beg when you’re told to... just as much as you will wear our crest, hold your head high in the company of others and carry a position of trust in the Kingdom I am to form” he furthered, those eternal eyes spinning.

“Now, what do you want to say?” he murmured sweetly, his wrist twisting sharply.

“A-ahh! M-Madara...”

“Hmm, better” the elder praised, the sluggish hands of the other man still gripping at his tunic; “descendent, you are just in time” he called a little louder before, with a smirk, he snatched those trembling wrists into a singular grasp after releasing the last Hatake’s hair, allowing him to stand (if a bit wobbly) in a more comfortable position.

“So it would seem” Obito chuckled, his miss-matched gaze widening when the panting, pink-accented Kakashi looked towards him, his need evident even within the baggy pants he wore; “wow... has he drank that whole pot to himself?”

“He was so very thirsty” the longer haired Uchiha laughed; “I believe that he still is... hai, perhaps t’would be better if you were to place those robes inside so as to relieve him of his thirst... I am certain that feeding this appetite will be more rewarding than the other for the time being” continued with a truly devious smirk.

“It’d be cruel to do anything else, would it not?”

Chapter Text

Obito could hear the words of his ancestor (and the almost palpable lust the clone he’d reinforced was exuding) but found that the only thing to hold his attention was the ivory and silver beauty which (surrounded by the warm, steamy vapours of the spring) looked more like a God than a sacrifice.

He couldn’t stop himself from licking his lips; a third clone was formed before he knew his hands were moving. It quietly took the bag of food and the dry-cleaning package that the kimono and obi had been diligently packed into away whilst the true Uchiha strode forward, his gaze momentarily shifting to the darkened patch on the other’s neck before regarding his venerable ancestor.

“Is he learning?” he asked, his brows quirking along with a crooked grin; “he was very slow to follow instructions from anyone other than Sensei when we were younger” he reminded before he stood so close to the last Hatake that he could feel heat radiating off of him.

“The tea is assisting with what I feel to be a natural urge for compliance” Madara replied with a light shrug. “People like him and Tobirama believe that they need control, that they want dominance and use any number of tricks and lies to hide behind... yes, the aloof-arrogance, the need to become stronger, keeping others at a distance... it’s all a very clever, if not pointless, strategy” he assured.

“Now then, I believe that this particular spring has nooks carved and smoothed into the rocks which line it to suit our purpose” he mused, his grin stretching into something truly lecherous; “however, I feel it necessary to prepare him for our pleasure beforehand and so, shall I strip him or would you prefer to?”

“If I may, Madara-sama” he close to purred, his hands accepting the trembling wrists from the solid clone; “and, if you would do us the honour, I would like for you to choose the oils we’ll be using... I have not encountered some of the ones you have selected before and am eager to try some.”

Releasing a throaty chuckle, the legendary shinobi patted the younger man on his flesh shoulder before approaching a small table set up by the disused bathing area former patrons would have used to clean themselves before bathing, his eager hands reviewing the multiple bottles he’d placed there.

Watching him go, Obito soon found a new preoccupation as, with a gasp, Kakashi seemed to lose his balance and fall into him, a burning cheek pressed heavily into his (irritatingly) clothed neck and shoulder.

“S’hot...” the last Hatake moaned; “y-your choice-e in, in tea... is... awful” he added through a whimper, the bulge in his pants being purposefully cupped and fondled.

“You won’t be saying that soon, Bakashi” he promised quietly, his free hand tickling upwards to secure and then loose the fabric belt, his whole form chuckling smoothly when the haramaki fell away to pool about unsteady feet.

“There now, doesn’t that feel better?”

“Umph...”

“Good... come on then, back down you go...”

Moving with the slow, sluggishness of Tsunade after drinking herself senseless, the alabaster male sat inside the folds of the fabric and watched, dazedly, as one Uchiha disrobed himself whilst the other (already naked, a proud erection bobbing in his wake) approached, a earthen jar in hand.

“Umm, such a welcoming sight... remind me, when things are settled, that we take both Kakashi and Tobirama to the roofed-gardens we’re planning for the palace during a full-moon” he said, his sharingan spinning to burn the image of the slender, toned creature staring up at him into his mind. “Imagine how glorious it will be to have them panting and writhing under a light so akin to their natural pallor” he added before kneeling to join them on the ground, his hand tilting to show his heir the contents of the pot.

“Um? Madara-sama, is that...”

“A form of honey” the elder finished, his left hand dipping into the golden fluid. “Tis not the kind one would use for anything other than this, of course... the Land of Tea naturally contained many farms where bees were kept and nurtured” he began to explain, his digits pulling free. “It was only a matter of time before people began experiments with this sweet nectar and, as pleasure was becoming a more sort-after pursuit in the light of territories settling, one family developed this orchid scented mix which, although the same colour and flavour, is closer to oil in consistency” he purred. “See the way it drips? It will ease the way whilst offering traction without the stickiness of a traditional honey... I used this with Tobirama to celebrate an anniversary of some kind before Hashirama’s stupidity and honour tore us all apart” he added, a hint of bitterness peppering his tone.

Then, seemingly blinking out of whatever memory had disturbed him, Obito watched as the elder regarded the pair he knelt besides, that predatory gleam returning.

“I have decided” he said, his body crawling around the slowly panting shinobi, “that he should drink from you whilst I prepare him, yes? Then, when he’s ready, we’ll make to the pool... this nectar will not weaken or slide away regardless of heat or moisture” he promised, a laugh bubbling up his throat. “No, it will take thrusting and cumming inside of him many times to remove it all” he divulged, a flash of teeth glittering as he pushed Kakashi forward with one hand and offered the younger the jar with the other.

“What are... oh, oh” Obito grinned, his cheeks pinking as he accepted the vessel, his hands (quaking with anticipation) quickly and effectively slathering his straining member; job done (through pleasure gritted teeth), he returned the pot to its own before brushing glistening fingers across their captive’s lips.

“Umm...” the ivory haired ninja admitted, those glassy, glossy eyes blown wider still as he lapped at the nectar; watching the display, his own mouth watering, the younger Uchiha was about to direct his former team-mate but was beaten to the post by the former Konoha jonin who shuffled forward to tentatively lick at his straining shaft.

“Nngghhh... ‘Kashi... that’s...”

Humming with pleasure, pale hands gripped thighs (whilst natural and unnatural brushed through snowy hair) whilst the last Hatake became more bold with his need to taste and swallow the sweet deliciousness he’d found, his mouth, teeth and tongue eagerly removing the honey whilst Obito blushed hotly and moaned with abandon.

However, with the intrusion of slick fingers, the alabaster fighter keened (the gentle, lightly pressed rubbing he’d felt mere moments ago was lost to the feel of hot, firm digits scissoring and thrusting deeper, making him keen and wriggle).

“Ahh... ah! No... no... that’s... that’s enough...” the living Uchiha whimpered as he pulled himself free with a wet, displeased pop; “ugh... Madara-sama, is he...”

“Mm, the nectar should be slick enough to prevent him from tearing” the long haired legend murmured, his grin positively shit-eating; “it has been a long time since anyone has made you so flustered, descendent.”

Nodding his acceptance (because what was the point in denying it? Madara had been with him since the loss of Rin and did, therefore, have a truly intimate knowledge of both himself and his sexual exploits), Obito scooped a compliant, mouth licking Kakashi up and into his arms before approaching the spring.

“Ah, how pleasant it is to think that the afternoon is so young and that our plans needn’t be set in motion until tomorrow’s evening” his ancestor commented warmly, his body sinking into the water after casting his legs into the pool. “Tis truly a shame that my limited chakra will only allow one bout for myself this eve... however, I am sure that you shall not be too saddened by this, hmm?”

Snorting, the younger handed over their prize with a “don’t be ridiculous Madara-sama, I owe you everything and you’re still giving me more” he reasoned, their eyes locking whilst he too entered the milky, steaming waters. “And besides, it’s not as though you can’t keep experiencing him with me until you’re resurrected... maa~ and I am very much hoping that I may get to sample Tobirama-san too when he’s re-made?”

Smirking, the elder began to wade through the pool, his charge curling into his chest with a mutter about the heat; “of course, what is mine will always be yours too, my boy” he acknowledge. “Now, if memory serves... ah, yes, here” he called, his head nodding to the eastern edge of the spring; “lay there, upon your back, and you can start” he gestured.

Nodding, Obito found a reclining position which kept his shoulders out of the water and his head strangely pillowed by the smoothness of the pomice-stone; once settled, the clone handed a dazed Kakashi over so that his back lay atop the younger Uchiha’s part flesh, part ichors chest.

“Grab his legs... yes, that’s it... keep them spread wide... yes, at the knees, and I shall guide him onto you...”

Following the instructions, his lips placing swift, stuttering kisses along the other’s temple and cheek, the shorter haired male groaned in time with the last Hatake’s startled whimper as Madara, those strong hands messaging the firm globes of their prisoner’s ass, parted the cheeks and impaled him slowly onto that fat, rounded head.

“Aahh... ah! No... you’re too... it’s too big...”

“Shh, shh, relax now... see, let the honey do its work” Obito soothed, his eyes rolling when, after what felt like minutes of slow, wonderful torture, he was fully sheathed, his hips jerking impatiently since, being so reclined, thrusting was made quite difficult.

As though reading the other’s mind, the elder began to slowly, carefully lift and push down the silver haired shinobi, his wrists tilting and angling until, instead of cries and whimpers, their captive bucked and keened.

“U-ugh... Madara-sama... he’s so... it’s almost too tight... I... you need to...”

“There, there descendent, I’m here” he promised, his voice closer to the rumble of an impending storm; “brace yourselves” he murmured, his body leaning over Kakashi with one hand gripping the stone at the side of Obito’s head whilst the other...

“Yyaahhh! Aaahhhh! Aahh! Ooohhhh...”

Growling, his own, steel-hard phallus singing out in pleasure, Madara was soon clasping either side of his descendant’s face after he’d successfully joined with the younger man to thrust slowly, deeply inside the trembling, thrashing ninja between them.

“O-oh... oh Kami-sama... Madara-sama... you...”

“I will take things... from... here” he grunted; “j-just... keep his legs.... hold him steady...” he snarled, his hungry mouth rushing to dominate the parted lips of their Hatake, his tongue plundering as he set up a deep, rough pace, the nectar (as it became more heated by the friction) serving them well and helping them to slide and hit the trapped male’s sweet-spot.

“Uuuummmm! Uuummmpphhhh!”

“Ah! Ahh! Ahhh! M-Madara-sama-a!”

Snarling, the legendary shinobi broke the kiss to allow his prize to breath and scream and wail; the sound of him, the sight of him, the feel...

“I... I’m nearly...”

Hissing, his hips slammed repeatedly against tantalising flesh, hard and fast, his eyes rolling until, with a roar, the three came together; the force of their pleasure dispelled the clone and left a tear laced Kakashi to shudder weakly in the possessively gripping arms of a quaking, awe-struck Obito.

“Wow...” the younger Uchiha murmured; “so that’s where I get my libido from...”

Chapter Text

“Come on, you must be starving...”

Snorting, the exhale rippling the water he’d refused to leave, the last Hatake continued to float on the far side of the pool, his eyes glaring at the towel-clad Uchiha and his offering of several bento-boxes.

“Yari, yari, Bakashi... how’re you going to get strong enough to exact your revenge without eating, hmm?”

“Leave a few of the boxes by the edge, fuck off and then I’ll eat, how’s that?” the younger man countered, his pinked cheeks darkening with his anger; “surely a man who is out to conquer the world has better things to do then watch me eat, right?”

Sighing out his exasperation (and mourning the loss of the tea that, no, Kakashi would drink no more of, thank you), Obito sat down next to the pool and regarded the pale haired ninja before reaching for one of the bento and belatedly opening it.

“Maa, this kind of reminds me of the bell-test Sensei subjected us to, you know, with whole starving thing?” he began, his tone light; “did you use that same, tired old ritual with those kids of yours?”

“Don’t talk to me as though you’re interested” the other sneered, his bangs framing his face as he tried to relax in the onsen’s steamy waters, the pain still radiating up his back-side and into his core making him shudder with each new attempt to stand-up.

Kami, when was he going to be given time to recover?

“Oh, you’re completely right, I couldn’t be less interested” the raven haired ninja deadpanned; “my head’s just so full of evil-villain-like-machinations that I’m trying to trick you into having a conversation... it’s diabolical, I know...” he added, his tone slathered with sarcasm. “That’s how you see me, right? The bad guy, the bogey man? What will it take to make you understand that what’s going to happen is a good thing?” he asked, his chopsticks plucking up a clump of rice and shoving it unceremoniously in his mouth, his frown deepening. “Meh... this isn’t as good as what you can make... but I guess it’s a bit much to ask if you could...”

“Really?!” the last Hatake exploded, the motion causing him to wince and flounder in the fluid that was ensconcing him; “you’ve just sexually assaulted me with a clone posing as the guy whose possessing you and now you want dinner?!” he spat, the waters spluttering around as angry arms slapped against the stream wisped surface.

“Maa~ assault is such a strong word...”

“Obito!”

“What? You belong to me, with me... hell, we probably wouldn’ve ended up being together if those bastard Iwa-nin hadn’t...”

“Oh Gods... you actually believe that, don’t you?”

Blinking, his jaw stopping mid-chew, the Uchiha felt a flush of anger (of hurt) ignite in his chest, his miss-matched eyes narrowing; “I’d choose your next words very carefully” he warned, his chopsticks stilling as they regarded each other from across the pool.

Sensing the danger (and mentally berating himself; Obito was unstable, psychologically damaged and very clearly under Madara’s thumb), Kakashi swallowed his pride and indignation in favour of (once again) playing along. They weren’t going to kill him, that much was clear, but (as life had taught him, was still teaching him) there were things so much worse than dying and keeping him onside should prove to have more advantages than it had with Kakuzu and Hidan, after all.

“It’s the objectification” he argued, his sharingan watching the other’s every intake and trying his best to gage whether or not what he was saying would produce the desired response (namely that the currently stronger shinobi didn’t drag him from the hot-spring and abuse him to make his point clear). “If Kannabi Bridge had never happened then... who knows, maybe you’re right, maybe we’d be together or, perhaps, you’d be with Rin like you always wanted” he said, his tone as calm as he could muster. “However, would you still be treating me like this if that’s how our lives had played out? Would you be making excuses about how degrading me doesn’t matter? That making me do things that I don’t want to do...”

“Isn’t that the point of being strong?” the older male cut-in, his furrowed brows making his angry frown all the more serious; “didn’t I tell you, all those years ago, that when I awakened my sharingan that I’d leave you in my dust? That you’d have no choice but to respect me and accept that I was better?”

Feeling his shoulders deflate, the same spiel he’d been subjected to in the Uchiha’s Ame bedroom resurfacing, Kakashi tried to push the sickening realisation that maybe Obito had felt this way, had been this sick, even when they were young.

No... no that boy, the one who wanted to be Hokage, who’d blush after their medic and demand more sparring sessions even as he insulted him and repeatedly lost, he had to be in there still, somewhere.

‘Maybe... maybe that’s what Rin and Sensei meant...’ he thought, his eyes widening in understanding; ‘but how do I bring him back? I can’t just forget what he’s done, what he’s doing and not just to me, either’ he pondered, his body momentarily stiffening when the older went back his mediocre meal.

‘Can... am I strong enough to just... go along with this for a while? Would he fall for it? He seems so desperate to want me to accept not only this plan but him and what he’s doing it all for... Shit... as much I need him to wake up, to be as he was... I just... I just don’t know...’ his mind churned whilst he resisted the urge to either rail against the whole stupid notion or to simply hug himself.

Damn everything, he had to try and trust that Jiraiya, Tsunade, his fellow jonin and Naruto would be ready, would be able to do what he couldn’t...

If worse came to worse, then getting closer to his former friend might even put him in to a position where, if there was no other way, he could deal a fatal blow (for as powerless as he’d been made to feel and as weak as he currently was, he’d been fighting since the age of four, killing since the age of six... and he had excelled in it, even when underestimated, especially when threatened).

‘Just take a breath, take every minute and hour as they come... this is just another mission... think about how far you’ve come, how you survived those first few days, and what’s at stake...’ he reasoned before, with a sigh, he paddled over.

“Oi... it can’t taste that bad if you’ve polished one off already” he tried, his right arm reaching out (not to take a bento, that’d be presuming too much and potentially cause for another argument) to gesture at the stack of brightly coloured boxes.

Grunting, the heavily scarred male pushed the miniature tower closer to the water, his eyes narrowed slightly but no longer angry; “you’ll cook for us later” he announced in a way that made it a statement and not a question.

“Sure” he replied, fingers popping the lid and retrieving the plastic eating utensils; “I take it that you’ve brought supplies? I can’t imagine that there’s anything edible around this old place” he added, his nose wrinkling at the blandness of the omelette he’d just taken a bite of. “Ugh... I take it back... this is bad” he continued, his rumbling stomach swiftly reminding him that this was no time to be picky.

“So... did you use the bell-test?”

Shrugging (the pickled vegetables much too sour and far too wet), Kakashi cleared his throat with a “yeah... I failed three teams with it before Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke...”

“Oh shit!”

Bracing himself (the Uchiha’s body having stood with a jarring force), the last Hatake nearly recoiled when, much to his continuing surprise, the kamui activated and his jailer swirled away, leaving him to blink dumbly at the spot where he’d been sitting.

“Huh...” he found himself saying, a chuckle almost making it past his lips; “I wonder if he realises he’s only dressed in a towel before he sorts out whatever mess he’s made?”

The mental of the man who’d been lauding his power and dominance over him appearing to anyone in such minimal attire was, he’d admit, a hilarious image and one he would have very much liked to have seen until, with a gasp, he realised what he’d spurred the other man into action.

“Sasuke...” he breathed, his eyes widening; “oh Kami... what have you gotten yourself into now?” he wondered, his frown strengthening until, with a ‘woosh’, an annoyed looking Obito returned... along with a very unexpected and very much unwelcomed guest...

Chapter Text

“Ooh! Hello again, Baka-waahh! Ow!”

Staring incredulously at a white, naked and androgynous clone of Zetsu, his hackles rising, the last Hatake contemplated whether or not just sinking below the water and not thinking about drowning would allow him to get around the...

He blinked, his train of thought vanishing...

Wait... what had he...

“Ow! Oowww! Obito! That really hurts! You...”

“Don’t think you can pull anything over on me... you’re an extension of my great-uncle’s will, don’t forget... I know that you can’t feel things unless you want to and, from now on, you’re not to address or approach what’s mine in any way or I will set you alight with the amaterasu, understand?”

Refocusing on the rough stone plateau which yawned out towards the ramshackle onsen-come-tea-house, Kakashi watched as the Uchiha (still only wearing a towel just long enough to cover his modesty) continued to push his naked heel into the creature’s temple as it scratched and skittered on the floor.

“I-I’m not trying to trick you-u!”

“Then where is Uchiha Sasuke? Where is Team Taka? Did you or did you not deploy them without my say-so?”

“Wari-wari! We thought that you’d be too busy and you were, so...”

“When I want your thoughts then I’ll give them to you!” the crop-haired ninja close to snarled; “how are they doing? Have they engaged the hachibi yet?”

“Ano... about that...”

“Zetsu!”

“Maa~ee! He got away! He hid in an amputated tentacle! We don’t know where he is... and Sasuke-tachi, they...”

“What?!”

“Eto... they were doing really well... umm... ano... that’s a lie... that Killer B guy is very strong and... he was throwing swords... and tentacles and yyuugghhhh...”

Struggling not to retch, Kakashi dropped his chopsticks to cover his mouth and nose in the hope of warding off the stench which emanated from the squished remains of the clone’s head; it stank like rotten flesh and burning chakra... not that a furious Obito seemed to care.

In fact, the Uchiha didn’t seem to care about anything other than glaring into the spoiled ichors as though the heat of his rage and disappointment would influence the puddle to do something other than continue to pool about his toes.

‘Okay...’ the last Hatake thought whilst slowly, calmly and in plain view (just in case), he pulled himself (albeit a little stiffly) out of the hot-spring and snagged two towels that’d been dropped off near the edge (when the bentos had been deposited, after the tea’s effects had worn off and he’d nailed Obito in the side with a well-placed elbow). Then, stilling but tentatively choosing to continue when his captor shifted that murderous gaze at him but did nothing more, the former Konoha jonin swaddled his own hips before draping a larger, softer sheet of fabric over the raven haired ninja’s shoulders.

“Come on” he urged, his head indicating the small pre-bathing area with its (hopefully still functioning) sinks; “that stuff could be corrosive...”

“It is...” was the raspy reply, those tense shoulders relaxing a little when he allowed himself to be moved.

Humming, his form managing to bring to other to a stool, he sat him down before moving to fetch a little, wooden bucket to fill (in the back of his mind he noticed that both the rinnengan and sharingan were twirling; perhaps they were talking to each other?).

Deciding to tuck that theory away for later, Kakashi instead focused on washing the ooze away, his mind experiencing a (very unwanted) feeling of relief when the gloop came away easily; “does that feel better?”

“We’re going to leave this place... I don’t want you left anywhere that it can find you” was the answer, the words causing the pair of childhood friends to regard each other; “this loss, although problematic, ultimately won’t mean much in the long run, however...” he murmured, his hands catching the ivory skinned ones that’d been cleaning him. “It does mean that your role will become more pivotal... I’d been hoping to keep you on the side-lines for now but, with things as they are, it really can’t be helped...”

Swallowing down the outrage (remember your plan, remember your plan) he felt coursing up his throat, the silver haired male leaned further forward, his fingers loosely grasping real and manufactured flesh.

“Does Naruto have to die?”

“Kakashi...”

“He’s Sensei and Kushina’s son, Obito, he doesn’t deserve to...”

“He’s the kyuubi” the older stated, his frown more saddened than anything else. “It doesn’t matter whose son he is and if you think that that’ll be the worst thing I could do...”

“You don’t...”

“However” he cut in, that grip tightening a little; “if he, if they mean so much to you, then you can have them after, all of them... with chakra-bindings until they adjust to the new world order, of course” he offered, his tone clearly suggesting that this was a compromise Kakashi should be thrilled with.

He wasn’t...

He was angry, disgusted, flabbergasted by the sheer ridiculousness of it all...

‘Just remember your plan...’

“You promise?”

“Hai” the Uchiha stated with a short nod; “now then, we need to get going... finish drying off and meet me inside in five minutes” he said whilst standing, their hands pulling apart. “We’re going to make a few stops before arriving in Hi no Kuni...”

“W-what?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll not or rather you’ll not be going back to Konoha just yet... maybe in a week or so” he continued, his body strolling towards the wooden structure; “it really all depends on what happens at the summit tomorrow and when the kyuubi returns to the Village...”

~*~*~*~

“I see, thank you for your pains, Shin, we’ve been calling on your family a great deal lately, it seems” Tsunade stated warmly, her expression softening a little; “tell that old pervert to look after himself, alright?”

Bowing, its jade and yellow body vanishing in a plume of smoke, the Godaime released a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding, her hands clutching the scroll she’d received within the limited gas-light provided by the lamps which hung from the tent her ANBU guards insist she used.

The rain pattered upon the canvas and the summit would be upon them by afternoon; in the darkness of midnight, it felt strangely reassuring to have words from a former team-mate and good friend rest with her now even as Gai’s snores outdid the crickets within the thicket they’d stopped in.

Considering she’d promised never to return to Konohagakure no Sato, as she sat on her bunk on this sodden night with nothing but ghosts and regrets for company, she found herself missing it.

And she’d resolved herself to save it at any cost...

“Tsunade-sama?”

Blinking, Raido’s quiet presence unsurprising given his years in ANBU, the blonde regarded the man who stood respectfully at the flaps which made up her door; “do we have orders?”

“No” she promised, her tone cool but not unkind; “please go back to your watch... I’ll call if there’s anything I need to share” she added, her eyes watching his shadow nod before vanishing; it was cruel, possibly, not to speak to her three guards when news from Jiraiya had arrived. They’d all be keenly aware, of course, that it was a toad who’d come to visit her here; however, should there by more bad news or anything relating to their last mission, well, then she’d need time to prepare what she’d want to share.

With her resolve strengthened, the current Hokage cracked open the scroll and felt the neutral line of her lips dip as she read what’d been enclosed:

“We were tricked... our boy was in Ame, but that’s no longer the case; don’t get your hopes up but they seem to want him alive...”

“No, no it can’t be, the scroll doesn’t...”

“We’re dealing with the rinnengan and a somehow revived Uchiha Madara and Obito who have managed to recruit my former disciples... Kakashi believes they intend to collect and use the bijuu to create a new world whilst the black and white being known as Zetsu has his own agenda that we may be able to sway to our advantage... Be careful at this summit, Hime, I have a bad feeling about it and Obito seems able to appear where he wishes at will; Naruto has nearly mastered the oil, what’s needed next is the ability to manipulate the kyuubi’s chakra... If you can, persuade the Raikage to allow his jinchuuriki to return home with you... the kid and I will be waiting for your return with a bottle of sake and a range of new jutsu to show off with.”

Sighing, her eyes closing, the last Senjuu gripped the paper tightly: ‘return home’ she thought, her mind’s eye flashing an image of a jonin, a shock of silver hair and an eye curved into a happy expression.

‘I will’ her inner voice added, a flare of chakra accompanying the notion; ‘and I will not be alone when I do...’

Chapter Text

“You have failed me, Sasuke...”

Scowling, his fathomless eyes (one quite severely bruised) glowering up at him through ebony bangs, the younger of the two Uchiha’s grit his teeth whilst behind him, their battered bodies working to bandage each other, Team Taka tried to keep their mouths shut as the supplies of Obito’s Mizu no Kuni safe-house were plundered.

“We were tricked...”

“And with your brother’s eyes, no less” the older criticised; behind the frigidly standing boy, the stronger shinobi almost laughed when the red-head spat curses whilst the shark-toothed ninja tried to calm her down. To their left, the slumbering giant grunted through the shudders of chakra-exhaustion, his eyelids fluttering.

“That’s not...”

“Fair?” Madara cut in, his head cocking to the side; “when I approached you, told you the truth and gave you those gifts, you promised me results...”

“And you’ll get them!” Sasuke snarled, his purpled fists screwing together tighter at his sides; “just give me a day to recover and...”

“No... no I’m afraid that another, more competent agent will be sent to secure the hachibi, Itachi’s former partner no less” he sighed, his head shaking; “it was, ultimately, my mistake in thinking that you’d be ready, that you wanted to avenge your brother before getting to see him and the rest of your family again...”

“You bastard~!”

“Wah! Karin! Don’t!”

Snarling, her body vaulting past the pale haired male who’d tried his best to contain her, the Uzumaki almost barged past her leader; if not for the slightly older teen’s arm lashing out, she would have been nose to mask with their benefactor.

“How can you say those awful, terrible things to him?! You’re family, aren’t you? You share a Clan name so...”

“Do not over-estimate your value, girl” was Obito’s grim warning, his sharingan narrowing caustically; “your temper and childish desire for his attention will see you killed if you aren’t careful” he added, his attention refocusing on the ebony haired shinobi.

“Hey! Don’t just dismiss me like some...”

“That’s enough, Karin” Sasuke muttered darkly, his ire having subsided to an almost cautious smugness. “This isn’t a social call, is it? No, you have another mission for us, don’t you? You’re just making sure that there’re no more mistakes from my end” he continued, his head bowing a little once his seriousness returned. “We will not fail you a second time...”

“That’s good to know” the cloak wearer admitted lightly (with a huff, the crimson haired woman shot him one last, nasty glare before stomping back to the floor-boards she’d been sat on, her fingers snatching the medi-kit away from a rapidly blinking Suigetsu).

“Now, if your followers don’t mind, I’d prefer to debrief you in private...”

“What?! You’ve got to be kidding! It’s pissing it down outside, you wum-umm-phh!”

Muttering under his breath, his hands desperate clinging to the young woman’s face, the former Kiri-nin offered a watery smile, a sweat-drop lowering past his temple; “meh, don’t worry, I’ll...”

“That won’t be necessary” Obito declared, his left hand landing heavily upon the younger Uchiha’s shoulder; “we shan’t be long...”

~*~*~*~

Staying in Hi no Kuni had, apparently, not worked out; the safe-house planted there was already occupied (another one of Zetsu’s ill-thought out ideas, it seemed) and so, with just a handful of conveniences both he and Obito had existed within the kamui dimension for what the Uchiha had assured was only during the night.

Vaguely, the wooden spoon he was using to stir the thickening, untraditionally milk-based, sweet* porridge that the raven-haired Akatsuki had demanded for breakfast (he’d missed that dish the most, he’d said), Kakashi wondered how the other could tell anything (let alone the time) in this strange, greyish place.

It was probably best not to dwell on it... or how the other had insisted on innocently (even whilst naked) spooning upon the large futon behind him for almost the entirety of their time here, well, after he’d ordered the last Hatake to prepare and serve their supper of ramen with pork (Obito’s favourite) and eggplant (his).

“Maa... maybe I should have opted out of the Academy to become a chef? What kind of life would I have led then, I wonder?” he mused quietly, the flames borne of a rustic log fire (his stove thanks to a make-shift spit, chain and cauldron) flitting towards his kneeling form every so often, the thick material of his kimono warming from it. He had, after his captor’s departure, been tempted to burn the damned thing (obi sash and all) under the guise of needing kindling but, with no other clothing available, Kakashi found that keeping it was (once again) the more sensible option.

Gods only knew what his former friend had in store for him today with the Kage summit only hours away now... and he really didn’t want to face anyone or anything naked if it could be helped...

“I hope you have prepared an ample meal as I instructed?”

Blinking away from the fire, the overly formal tone sounding more like Madara than Obito, the silver haired jonin went to make some kind of snarky response before a startled gasp stopped him.

‘By Kami-sama...’

“It is my understanding that you’re known to each other, so I will skip the introductions” the orange masked Akatsuki leader commented blandly, his black-booted feet walking him towards the fire whilst the student and sensei continued to stare disbelievingly at each other. “Come and join us, Sasuke, I can vouch for the quality of this meal myself or, perhaps, your teacher has made it for you before?”

“Thank you” the younger Uchiha grunted, those pitch-eyes narrowing; “but I don’t care much for sweet dishes” he added tersely, his rigid body standing stock-still just paces away from the stacked crates of various food stuffs and larger vessels of water (with the odd bottle of sake and other, exotic spirits, of course).

“Suit yourself” the red-cloud accented ninja quipped, his hands (much to Kakashi’s continued surprise) removing the swirled covering as he knelt beside him, his fingers then lifting one of the nearby bowls and passing it over for a portion.

Somehow stopping himself from rolling his eyes, the last Hatake took the vessel and began loading it with the creamy mixture; before handing it over, he laced it with honey (and oh how he’d scowled at the bastard when he’d handed it over with a lecherous grin he attempted to turn playful) and popped in a spoon, his hands then working to allot his own breakfast.

“Umm, just as delicious as I remember...”

“It would have been better with vanilla...”

“What, exactly, am I missing here?”

Keeping his eyes very pointedly on his meal (Obito’s warnings about how he was expected to behave playing repeatedly in his mind along with his own need to play along), the last Hatake continued to eat until angry feet stomped their way to his position, a hand reaching down to snag and jerk his shoulder.

“Why the hell are you here!? Is it true? Did you become a nukenin? Are you a part of Akatsuki now?”

“If you wish to keep that hand, you’ll remove it” Obito warned, his miss-matched gaze meeting Sasuke’s even as spoonful after spoonful disappeared into his scar laced mouth; clearly sensing the danger and thinking better of challenging Madara, the younger Uchiha released the fabric and took a step back.

“What has being here and seeing him got to do with my mission?” he instead hissed, his ire resurfacing whilst, his frown deepening, he reached for his sword, a determined look crossing those flawless, handsome features; “is this a test of loyalty? Am I to kill him?”

Snorting (and completely missing the deliberately neutral look his lover had adopted after witnessing the remorseless, callous expression his former student wore), the oldest of the group gestured for a refill as he observed the deadly ninja before him.

Yes, Orochimaru had done a fine job of stealing his humanity...

“Nothing could be further from the truth” he stated, a nod of thanks given to the silver haired Hatake he was allowed the last of the pot’s offerings; “you are to guard him for me...”

“What?” the pair asked in unison, their heads snapping towards him.

“You and your team are to guard Hatake Kakashi, there, was that easier to understand?” he mused with a grin that didn’t quite make his eyes; “he is to be the guest of honour at the Kage summit and, as such, will need protection” he explained, his grin all the wider as the younger men scowled in eerily similar ways.

“His wellbeing and personal safety will be your primary concern” he added, his spoon slowly, deliberately scraping the sides of his bowl.

“Should even one hair be displaced from his head then your heads will be displaced from your necks...”

Chapter Text

Having been left alone with Sasuke (Obito had needed to run a few more errands before lunch) was, as predicted, a disaster.

“Is glaring at me making you feel better?”

“Not as good as ramming my blade through your chest” the teen quipped, his body pacing past the fire with all the animosity and grace of a caged tiger; “are you ever going to give me a straight answer?”

“Are you ever going to ask the right questions?” the silver haired man replied glibly, his hands diligently working on slicing vegetables and adding them to a pot to his left. “Once again, you’re failing to see the bigger picture here... it’s a shame that you’ve grown up in so many ways other than what truly counts...”

“Don’t you dare try to patronise me!”

“Oh Sasuke, I don’t need to try” he chuckled, his tone blunt even when the younger shinobi stopped, unsheathed his tantou and levelled it at him menacingly.

“Madara said nothing about protecting you before the summit...”

“Then kill me” the older male replied through a shrug, the blade he was using to delicately sliver carrots into ribbons never once stilling; “maybe that will make you feel better... it certainly did the trick with Itachi, didn’t it?”

Howling, an all consuming rage activating his eternal mangekyo, Kakashi looked on dispassionately as, the blurred form of Sasuke lunging towards him, a seal activated within the silver haired jonin’s own sharingan to knock the other (somehow) completely on his ass, the air expelling from his lungs in a pained, wounded snarl.

“Oops, sorry about that” the last Hatake deadpanned, his hands reaching for a cucumber; “turns out that your boss doesn’t trust you to do as your told, does he?” he furthered, his gaze returning to the decorative pieces that Obito had asked for. ‘Make something fancy’ he’d declared whilst a clone had talked the disgruntled young man around; ‘you know, like what you did for Rin’s eleventh birthday?’

There hadn’t been time to ask for whom he needed to make a special meal for as, with a grin and wink, the other’s Madara persona was fully reinstated and he’d vanished to leave the estranged sensei and student alone...

“Ugh! This doesn’t make any fucking sense!”

“Agreed...”

“What the fuck is he keeping you for? Are you his maid now, or something?”

“Wife, actually” he said, his tone completely flat whilst, with a strained huff, Sasuke pulled himself into a sitting position, his expression incredulous.

“You’re kidding...”

“Oh yes, this whole situation is just one, big joke... I’m sure there are cameras hidden around here somewhere recording it for a civilian TV show” he mused lightly, his knife wielding hand gesturing at the ornate robe. “It’s clearly a high budget production given the costumes and everything...”

“Do you really expect me to believe that you’re some kind of...”

“Sex-slave? Concubine? Rent-boy? Maa, take your pick” the older cut in, his eyes finally leaving the sculpted food he’d made to grab the large, plastic cooler to his right, his hands carefully depositing the perishables inside. “It’s not a joke, it isn’t funny and, even though several people seem to think otherwise, I am not here by choice” he continued coolly before regarding the young man (so like and yet so very unlike the child he’d known).

“I don’t know what he’s promised you, Sasuke, but trusting this man and what he intends to do is a death-sentence” he warned, his lips pulling into a worried but determined frown; “you did not listen to me back in Konoha, you went out and found, for yourself, that the vengeance you craved was all for nothing so please, this time I’ll even beg you, don’t follow him... Go home, go back to the place Itachi gave up his life for, meet with Naruto and combine your forces to stop him because it’ll take the pair of you and every other shinobi you can summon to...”

“Home?!” the other growled out harshly; “home? Konohagakure no Sato is not my home! Surely a man in your position can understand that?! Where were Itachi’s comrades when he needed them? Where are yours? Do they even care that you’re dressed up like a princess stuck in a tower? Couldn’t they spare even a platoon or so of ANBU to find you? Huh? Why? Why do you defend them? How can...”

“Because I can see above and beyond myself! None of this is about me! There’s so much more at stake!” Kakashi finally snapped, his own fists clenching. “God damn-it, Sasuke! How can you still be so blind and deaf to what your brother wanted for you? If what Madara has told me is true, if they really did slaughter your Clan and prevent a civil-war then there are two very important things you’re missing” he ground out. “The first is that Itachi loved the Village, its people and what it stood for more than those who had raised him... I don’t need to tell you what pain and suffering would have been wrought should your father’s coup had gone ahead” he breathed, their mangekyo meeting. “The second” he said, his whole demeanour softening: “is that to spare you means that he loved you more than anyone or anything else... He hoped that the loss of your Clan would make you strong to be a protector, a hero, not some errand boy for your ancestor and his schemes of world-domination... Or didn’t he bother telling you that? Have you never stopped to wonder, to question how this new-world he keeps going on about will be created? Didn’t I at least teach you to think?!”

“The only thing of value you ever taught me was the chidori” was the icy reply; “I could care less about you or your sentiment... your words mean nothing when he is dead, when they are still dead!” he spat, his dark gaze becoming increasingly murderous again. “You’re a delusional, weak fool, Hatake” he furthered, his legs moving so that he could stand and look down at him, his tantou re-sheathing. “Bring them back, bring all of them back and maybe I’ll consider what you say... only, you can’t, can you? But he can, he will, with the power of all nine bijuu what can’t be achieved? Who can’t be saved?”

Feeling his shoulders deflate in defeat (the words he’d spoken to Hidan about being unable to talk Uchiha out of doing stupid things coming back to taunt him), Kakashi simply looked away, his features very carefully arranged into a neutral mask as he considered the fresh trout that lay in a smaller cooler next to his knees.

Why did he bother trying?

He should have just kept his...

“You knew him, didn’t you?”

Refusing to be drawn in by the almost unnoticeable tremor accenting those words, the older of the pair let out a sigh; “not as well as I thought, but yes, I knew him” he replied, a cleaning cloth swiping at the blade before he flipped the chopping-board up and over. “He was assigned to my team in ANBU and I oversaw much of his initial training... but his talent and dedication saw him gaining his own captaincy before long” he said, the sharpened metal easily piercing the flesh of the thankfully de-scaled animal. “He was quiet, respectful and polite to a fault... we’d meet at a tea-house* near the Inuzuka district once a month to talk and share a platter of dango” he added, a small smile touching his lips despite himself. “Heh... he’d always insist that he should pay, that I was his senpai and deserved to be treated... I always managed to slip ryo to the waitress, though... I didn’t have a little brother or, well, anyone to spoil with my earnings, after-all” he added, the filleting process almost complete.

“I’ve often wondered, every time I pass the Uchiha district, what might have happened if he’d come to me instead of seeking out Madara and following the Sandaime’s orders but, well, I guess we’ll never know...”

Chapter Text

Grinning lasciviously, his body connecting painfully with the rough bark of a huge, ancient tree (the bodies of three Hunter-Nin lying at their feet), Hidan growled his appreciation when rough, poorly sewn lips mashed into his own.

They’d finally made it to the bastard Land of Iron, their black-coated bodies having stopped on the last patch of green before the mountainous roads veered up to the point which would hold all five Kages (and their attendants) for that afternoon’s meeting to discuss and plan for dealing with the Akatsuki...

Pathetic, doomed atheists, the lot of them...

“Ngh! Ah! Come on Kakuzu... you know that I fight better after a good fucking...”

“Hn, it certainly doesn’t keep you quiet” the older grumbled, his hands ruthlessly grabbing the pale haired cultist’s hips, the threads of his forbidden jutsu spreading to unbutton and push down the other’s black pants.

“Mmm... you love it when ‘m noisy for you Kakuzu-sama... although, I am starting to think that you prefer ‘Kashi-kun’s mewling to mine... not that I can blame you... he does suffer so beautifully...” he close to purred, his lips forming a pleased, feline grin as he kicked his legs up to wrap around the other immortal’s waist. “Oi... I took the liberty of preparing for this so... Aaahhhhhh! Ooh... that hurts so good...” he groaned, the fattened head and shaft of the patch-work ninja ramming up and into him with flawless, practised ease.

Growling, his body slamming the crimson eyed male into the trunk of their hiding-place, his left hand moving to lightly choke him whilst the right grasped a naked hip, his lips once more sought the shorter male’s as their brutal pace began, Hidan’s strained erection rubbing desperately between them.

“Ah-ah-ah-ah... harder, come on, you can... ugh... better... better” the younger man close to sang, his heels digging into the small of his partner’s back, his eyes rolling as he rode the thick, pulsing shaft that buried and reburied itself with abandon within his clenching channel.

“Aaahhh... oh, why didn’t... we... get here... sooner?” he whined, his hair grating into the dusty, chipping bark; “we... don’t... have time... to... to... nnggghhhhh!”

Snarling, his forehead pressed against his lover’s Kakuzu was soon cumming with him, his strong shoulders shuddering briefly before, with a pleased sigh, he pulled free, a string or two fishing some cleaning rags (originally meant for kunai) from his cloak pocket to share with his pleasantly panting partner.

“Yari-yari, I hope that this trip was worth us having to travel all this way without our new-toy... oi, what do you think that Tobi guy is...”

“Hidan...”

“What? Surely you’re as pissed off as I am about sharing...” he whined, his hands hastily wiping himself into a more respectable state before tucking everything important back into his pants. “Uh! It burns me up just thinking about...”

“Then don’t” Kakuzu snorted, a stretch and roll of his spine seeing him back to his usual composed, stoic self; “with Pein being as he is, pissing off his pet wouldn’t have ended well... and besides, I got to have his bounty whilst you got to keep him alive for however much longer” he added, his tone a little more smug than usual.

“Oi, don’t act as though you don’t enjoy that ass as much as I do! You clearly got the better bargain here...”

“But of course” the other cut in smoothly, his sandaled feet padding across the scraggy grass to peer at Iron-Country’s strong-hold; it’d still take half an hour or so for them to infiltrate and find the place where Zetsu had promised the summit would be held.

“So, what’re we waiting for?”

“Nothing at all” he grinned, his head-dress and mask falling back into place; “but remember, no more fun until we get inside...”

“Fun? Kakuzu, religious rituals are vital, serious matters!” Hidan hissed, his tone totally affronted whilst he grabbed at his necklace (a sign of his faith; he’d have to make another one for Kakashi to wear soon) from about his neck to press the triangular symbol of Jashin to his lips.

“Oh! But I am going to send so many powerful, moronic heathens to my Lord today! Just you watch!”

~*~*~*~

Obito nearly (only nearly) breathed a sigh of relief when he returned to a (thankfully) blood-spatter-free kamui dimension, his visible eye roving from Sasuke (who was silently picking at some kind of platted, tomato* based salad) and a dutifully fish-steaming Kakashi.

Huh, was this strange feeling he had something similar to what a father returning home from a trip would feel?

“Oh honey, you’re home... and not a minute too soon” the last Hatake quipped, his sarcasm simultaneously ruining the mood and making him want to laugh at the same time; however did the younger man manage to do that to him?

“Yes, and with my return comes a good-bye for you and Sasuke, for now, at least” he replied; at his words, the ebony haired ninja (who’d sat on the opposite side of the fire and towards the infinite cubed towers which loomed up and out of the grey) finished his final bite, scooted the plate back towards the flames and stood.

“Tell your team to be ready; you’ll be dropped off inside the Iron Country’s main compound in three hours” he stated, a scroll (which he’d pulled from an inner pocket) being proffered to the younger Uchiha; “the details of where I will place you and what you’ll be expected to do in every eventuality is contained here... I expect you to follow these instructions to the letter unless, at any point, you feel that you’re either unable to meet the criteria set or are told to deviate by me and me alone... Should this happen, you’ll activate this smaller, secondary scroll which contains a teleportation jutsu perfected by the Niidaime... once triggered, anyone within a ten foot radius will be transported to a safe-house that shall serve as our base of operations until the kyuubi needs collecting. Now, do you have any...”

“We are not to actively engage the Kage?” the youngest ninja suddenly gaped, his eyes glaring at the paper he was reading; “but...”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry, my eager friend” Madara chuckled. “If anything, they’ll be the ones actively engaging you before long... all I ask is that I’m given time to make my announcement in the knowledge that Kakashi has ample protection...”

“Announcement?” Sasuke queried, a quick re-scan of the scroll not mentioning anything about...

“But of course” Obito said, his kamui starting to morph time and space; “we’re going to start the fourth great shinobi war...”

Chapter Text

“Please tell me that I misheard what you just said...”

Head jerking with the closing of his signature jutsu (Sasuke having been reunited with Team Taka), Obito removed the mask, dropped it to the ground and walked the short distance to the fire (which, thanks to a seal he’d found, continued to burn merry and bright), his arms shrugging out of his coat after grabbing one more scroll from a concealed pocket.

“Umm, hey, that smells really...”

“Obito...”

“Mm? Oh, you’re worried about that?”

Glaring, his whole body rigid when the slightly older, taller ninja knelt beside him (the paper cylinder placed between them), Kakashi picked up and launched the wooden spoon he’d used for breakfast at the other’s head, no hint of amusement piquing his features even when it connected and cart-wheeled off those jagged, ebony shards of hair.

“Gwah! Hey!”

“You’re starting another war?!” the last Hatake snarled; “you told me that you weren’t! That you’d wipe it out...”

“And I will!” the heavily scarred ninja grunted, his lips pulling a pout that almost had Kakashi doing a double-take; it was so achingly familiar to ones he’d worn when they’d been children...

No... he couldn’t let himself be...

“Maa~ Bakashi... it’s not as though I want a war... da-na... they aren’t all just going to listen to me later and say ‘oh, great idea Uchiha-sama, we’ll happily hand over the last two bijuu so that we can enjoy paradise together’ now, are they?”

Picking up his cooking chop-sticks, the silver haired ninja prepared to launch them as well before the flailing of Obito’s arms (oh so, so similar to the boy he’d known) knocked them away; “hey-y! Knock it off! Don’t make me tie you up again...”

“Oh! You’d like that, wouldn’t you?!” the silver haired ninja seethed; “I’ll stop throwing things at you when you stop saying and doing such stupid things! You can’t just...”

“Ugh! There’s no way to make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, you know?” was the other’s defence, his arms crossing as though the matter had been resolved; “and speaking of omelettes, lunch is ready, right?”

Sucking a breath in from between his teeth, Kakashi went to stand (with the ambition of storming off somewhere) until an iron grip strong enough to remind him that this wasn’t the boy from his past he was dealing with, stopped him.

“Let’s not start this up again” the raven-haired shinobi said, his tone as serious as the purpling staining Kakashi’s wrist; “can’t we just have a nice lunch together?”

Teeth gritting, the last Hatake played his mantra over and over again in his mind and forced himself to relax with a nod; he had to be careful, had to be smart and wait for a time when he could do something. For, what would be the point in fighting Obito now? Sure, his chakra wasn’t currently bound but he was stilling running on fumes and, although he could teleport things into the kamui dimension, he’d been unable to copy how the Uchiha came and went because it was a kekkei genkei and not a jutsu. And, of course, he wasn’t exactly battle ready; he couldn’t really do much beside walking in this damned kimono, after all, plus his body was a mile or so off being able to fight at the other man’s level (hell, a little voice at the back of his mind whispered, even at his best he probably couldn’t beat him).

“Good!” the older chirped, his fingers releasing the pale flesh he’d been clutching; “so, what did you make?”

Blinking at the sudden change (but becoming less surprised by the (sometimes) volatile shift in moods his unstable, former team-mate could go through), Kakashi suppressed his urge to scream and smack his head into the substantial chopping-block he’d been using earlier. “Poached trout, pickles, a sushi platter, jasmine rice and Rin’s favourite salad with strawberries*” he announced, his tone a little lacklustre as he gestured for space to made whilst snagging the plates and serving utensils he’d need.

“Wow! You managed to do all that with just a few knives, coolers and one-cooking pot?”

“We spent most of our meal-times out in the field with far less... that, and I don’t know which market you went to, but this produce is some of the best I’ve seen for a while” he added, his posture and reply meaningfully downplaying any pleasure he was meant to receive from the compliment. “It’s probably better to eat the sushi first... the trout will keep” he continued, the smaller of the two coolers opening to reveal a plethora of different rolls, bundles and bars.

“Heh! Would you look at that! They look wonderful” the Uchiha close to cheered, his fingers eagerly snagging a plate or two to set down, his flesh hand scooping up a couple to pop in his mouth like candied treats. “Mmmm... so good... nah, did you make dessert, too?”

“There was a pre-made batch of dango in one of the crates... I’ve freshened them with syrup and the rest of the strawberries” the younger answered, those elegant digits easily using the chopsticks he’d provided to pick mainly at the eel based sushi he’d made. “So... is there any reason for wanting this special lunch? I must admit, I was quite surprised to see that you’d returned by yourself...”

“Um? Well, this is an auspicious day, isn’t it?” Obito offered, a bright, genuine smile lighting his face whilst he nudged the small scroll towards the last Hatake; “after we’ve eaten, I want you to open it” he said, the sushi gone as he peered longingly at the bamboo steamer where the trout and rice were awaiting him.

“What is it?”

“A surprise” the Uchiha replied, his eyebrows wiggling comically as the snowy-haired jonin huffed and began spooning out portions of the main-course; whilst his captor dug in, he cast a sceptical look at the black, tubular object before swallowing his nervousness (he’d grown pretty wary of surprises) and pulling out the dango-tray too.

What was the point in putting off the inevitable?

“Ahh... you always season your food so well... maa~ the last time I attempted cooking my rice was crunchy and the miso-soup? Forget about it... I probably put a pound of salt in it by the time I was through...”

“So you’ve had other people cook for you?”

“Heh, does that make you jealous?”

“No, just wondering if you still had contact with any of them... I’m currently re-considering my career path and would like to know what the going rates for a chef are these days” he deadpanned, his trout eaten with the last of his pickles.

“Ha! You’re going to be much to busy at home for any kind of career path, Kakashi... that, and I don’t think Madara-sama would take too kindly to you doing anything outside of our Compound once it’s built... He’s traditional like that, you know” Obito said thoughtfully, his chopsticks tapping at his lips as he considered what the other had said.

Pinching the bridge of his nose to ward off the mounting headache (Kami-sama, he hoped those weren’t going to become a common thing) clouding his vision, the younger shinobi merely nodded along, his right hand going for one of the sake bottles behind him instead of the sweets his captor was eagerly grabbing for.

“You don’t want any?”

“I’ve never been much for sweets...”

“Hmm, yeah, you’ve only ever eaten them to be polite, haven’t you... Neh, pour me a cup, okay? We’ll toast before you open your present” he added, that smile returning full force.

Resisting the snort trapped in his nose, the last Hatake merely did as he was told, his worry (sadly) painting his handsome (now mostly bruise free; he’d found this thanks to a small mirror that’d been packed in with the toiletries Obito had provided the day before) face.

“Oi, what’s with that look?”

Blinking, the sake vessel moving straight to his lips, Kakashi shrugged and desperately consulted his brain for the right words; “what if I don’t like this surprise?”

“Eh? No, no you'll love it, you’ll see” the other laughed, the pleased lilt of his voice not happening the silver haired jonin to feel any better. “Maa, but I guess there’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?” he asked with a wink.

Draining his cup (and steeling his nerves), the younger of the pair let out a shaky breath before tentatively reaching out to pick up the scroll in a hand he was desperately trying to keep steady.

“Well, go on...”

“This seal... I don’t recognise it...”

“That’s because it’s not one used by the ninja-community, ano, not from where we’re from, anyway” the older explained; “now come on, no more stalling!” he close to squealed, his excitement palpable.

Taking a deep breath, the last Hatake cracked the wax and ink which kept the scroll intact, his eyes widening when, to his shock and amazement, he was enveloped in a thick plume of glittery smoke and red-rose petals.

Coughing, his hands releasing the paper to waft at his tearing eyes, Kakashi became aware of the following things: one, his left hand felt strange; two, the back of his kimono had become unusually warm and three, when he made to swallow, there was a definite constriction around his neck.

“Ha! Wow! Looks like I won’t have to track that guy down and murder him for lying to me after all! This is so much better than how I’d imagined!” the Uchiha crowed, his sake cup raised in celebration; “now it’s all official... although, if you really want something more traditional, I can find us a priest or whatever somewhere to say some vows and ring those ceremonial bells, if you like?”

Trembling finger-tips touching the smooth, molded metal that seamlessly curved his neck (there was no latch and he suddenly felt all the dizzying effects of chakra depletion wash over him) before coming to the front to find what must have been the raven-haired shinobi’s Clan symbol hanging like a tag on a damned dog collar.

“It’s a light-weight, right? Oh, and don’t worry about the chakra bindings, I’ll remove them when things are more settled...”

Then, his eyes tearing for completely different reasons, Kakashi found his gaze landing on a polished, silver ring which also displayed that damned red and white uchiwa*; regarding his tremulous hands as they rested on his silk clad thighs, the younger caught sight of the petals and glitter which mocked him with their cheer.

“Aw, hey, you see? I told you that you’d like it, didn’t I?” Obito close to preened, his body up and skirting around the stunned ninja so he could sit to his left, grab that numbed hand and pull it to his lips; “maa... we still have a few hours until we have to enter the summit” he continued, his free hand cupping the other’s dove-white jaw.

“Consummating a marriage is an important thing, you know?”

Chapter Text

What he wouldn’t give to feel nothing...

“Aahhh... ah! Nngghhh...”

He hadn’t put up a fight, hadn’t really said anything when they’d moved to the futon, his owner’s tag jangling lightly against what he assumed to be the silver band of his collar; “I knew it’d look good on you” Obito had said. “We’ll have to find some bracelets to match...”

“O-oh, ‘K-ashi... relax, you... ugh... how are you still so tight?”

Apparently, that was a good thing.

“Aaaahhhh...”

He wasn’t sure about the biology, why the prostate did what it did when fingers and other things stroked, pressed, prodded and jammed into it, but he was finding (less and less) that he just didn’t care.

Would it be better to have no pleasure and just the burning, almost painful stretch (regardless of whatever kind of lubrication his tormentors had so graciously used for his benefit)? Could he live easier with that?

“Mm... I... I think you’re ready just... just ease your legs for me...”

He didn’t know anymore... he didn’t know a lot of things.

“Ah... that’s it...”

He was still wrapped in the kimono, the heat getting closer to unbearable (even though he shuddered internally), on his back, his hands fisting the thick blanket as his naked hips (the silk fabric having been pushed to the side and up, around his back) were pulled up and onto the other’s lap where he was carefully skewered by a long, reddened member.

“R-relax... I... I don’t w-want to tear you-u... that oil-l... ugh... I knew I should... have bought... more...”

Screwing his eyes shut, his legs awkwardly flailing until Obito was fully seated, his back curving so that his head pressed into the last Hatake’s covered chest, he made a groan that morphed into a growl when he removed his hands from the hips he’d been kneading to somehow snag and manipulate Kakashi’s legs to wrap around his waist.

“God-s... you’re... so hot... and... tight... I can... can feel you trembling...”

‘Just get on with it!’ he wanted to scream; ‘just do it... make me feel good... make me forget... help me to hate you... help me to want you dead...’ he thought before, with a yelp, he was suddenly up and pressed to the other’s chest, the straining cock impaling him managing to sink deeper, causing him to cry out as his hands clung shoulders, the left side of his face pressed against the other’s.

“O-Obito...” he found himself breathing, the rounded helm of the other’s shaft spearing his sweet spot; “please...”

“I’ve got you... I’ve got you...” the older murmured, hands now sliding up and under the loosening obi-sash (he must remember to restyle it) to possessively hold that firm, muscle tightened waist, his fingers tickling ribs before smoothing back down to the hips he loved to nibbled. “H-hold on...” he warned; “I... my patience isn’t...”

“Nnnggghhhhh!”

All but snarling, he started by pushing the other down to the point of shared madness until, his body demanding satisfaction, he started to pick the younger man up, his engorged tip the only part to remain nestled before ramming back down again, their screams filling kamui’s dimension as Kakashi’s hands desperately clutched at broad, naked shoulders.

“Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!”

The pace was maddening and, with every merciless slam against his sweet-spot, a plethora of stars dancing around his vision, Kakashi could do nothing but tighten his thighs in time to stop from being bucked off should the older ninja’s grip on him diminish.

It hurt, by Kami it hurt to feel such exhilaration, to enjoy the sensations when he knew that he shouldn’t, that giving in was wrong, almost a betrayal of those who’d died trying to free him, had been harmed by his loss...

“Ah! Gods! That’s!”

“K-Kakashi... nnnggghhhhhh!!”

“Aaaahhhhh!”

His release was as welcomed as it was despised; Obito hugging him close and kissing his temple did nothing to change that...

~*~*~*~

Karin was not amused.
“So... he’s basically just gonna throw us into a room full of Kage and, what? Are we really just going to fucking stand in a diamond formation around who again?”

They’d been preparing all morning and, their lunches eaten and bodies refreshed (the food-pills stashed away in the secluded, mist-ridden hideout having boosted and returned their chakra levels closer to normal after the hachibi knocked them on their collective asses) they’d restocked on weapons and were now waiting...

And waiting...

“Yari-yari, what’chya getting so worked up about?” Suigetsu grumbled, his form lazing across the floorboards whilst he crunched his way through a bag of dried seaweed-snacks. “So we’re babysitting for a bit? That’s okay, right?”

“Are you fucking kidding?! How they hell are we meant to play keep-away in a chamber filled with the strongest shinobi from the top five strongest Villages, nah?! Ooohhhh! Sasuke-kun, you know that I’d do anything for you, but I just don’t see why...”

“You don’t need to know...”

“But...”

“Wah! Watch it!”

Hissing and, thanks to his enhanced reflexes, managing to roll out of the way, Suigetsu soon found himself barging into a nonplussed Jugo as the giant of a man easily pulled him out of the kamui’s field of influence; the room as a whole turned to view Madara and a beautiful, dull-eyed man dressed in the finery of a daimyo’s son.

“Greetings” the Akatsuki leader called imperially, his mask purposefully looking from one teen to the next; “I trust that you are ready?”

“Hai” Sasuke answered, his eyes shifting (against his will) to the pale, dishevelled looking man he’d once called sensei, a spark of something trying to rise at the sight of a collar bearing their crest, bare-feet and a flushed, exhausted expression before, with a thought, he squashed it and looked away.

His team, however, didn’t seem as able to tear their gazes off of the man they were to guard.

Coughing into his hand, already recognising the signs, he then directed a very meaningful glare at his female team-mate who, if the blush was anything to go by, was working herself into a swoon.

“Are we to go now?” he continued, another quick glance showing a very unexpected sight of a scowling Suigetsu and narrow eyed, frowning Jugo.

“I will return for you in ten minutes... I need to ensure that all other operatives are in place and that the Kage have assembled as planned” the black clad shinobi stated, a heavy hand resting on a stiff, silk covered shoulder. “This asset is currently under a genjutsu whose release will be triggered by a key phrase during my announcement... I do not want him tampered with in any way, do you understand?”

“Of course” Sasuke assured, his own frown deepening when the former Kiri-nin started to fidget and Karin’s swoon morphed into a look of confusion, then deep concern; her hands adjusted her glasses before crossing protectively over her partially visible stomach.

“Good; I will see you shortly...”

Watching him go, the youngest Uchiha was completely unprepared for Jugo’s deceptively swift movement; his right hand was clamped about the ebony haired male’s neck before Suigetsu could think to stop him... not that he was...

“Wh-at... the hell... are you... doing?!”

“This man” the red head stated, his tone eerily still; “has been violated” he added, those cold eyes narrowing. “I saw many men, women, children harmed this way... knowing what had been done to them made killing people easy...” he continued, a menacing aura radiating off of him; “I can smell his pain... it is the same, it is always the same...”

“T-that’s no-t... our-r... concern” Sasuke ground out; “re-lease me-e, or...”

Huffing, the taller doing as instructed when the pale-haired shinobi placed a calming hand on his bicep, the youngest Uchiha glared and rubbed at the offended flesh as the whole team turned to him (slowly, carefully, Karin made to approach the lightly panting Hatake, her eyes narrowed at purpled hickey’s displayed thanks to the kimono’s pulled, creased collar).

“Don’t touch him...”

“But...”

“Can you hear yourself!?” Suigetsu snapped, an angry arm gesturing at the silver haired man who continued to stare straight ahead, his lips lightly parted as he quivered in place; “I did not sign up for this kind of twisted shit, man... look at him, he needs to go to a hospital or something, his chakra-levels are through the floor...”

“Leave him be... he knows what he’s doing...”

“You can’t be serious” the shark-toothed teen snapped; “and just how the hell would you know?”

“Because this is Hatake Kakashi” he stated, his own ebony gaze moving to the slightly taller man, that same feeling trying to niggle at him; “he was my Sensei, once, and he knows what it means to be a ninja better than any one of us” he said, his eyebrows furrowing whilst Karin turned away, her form defensive as she no doubt relived unsavoury memories.

“Now... if you all feel so strongly on the matter, then I suggest that you do what you can to keep him alive and safe like Madara has asked” he instructed, his hands (not nervously, he was never nervous) checking the inked seals of his wrists and the placement of various weapons and tags.

“When all of this is over, we’ll all have the realities we want and none of this will matter...”

Chapter Text

Mifune (the words of his head body-guard sinking in as the doors to the conference hall groaned open), cast his dark, wary gaze at the shinobi who entered; he could feel the tension within the room as men and women who had (probably still did) viewed each other as enemies walked in together.

Around the circular, multi-levelled hall, the Shogun of Tetsu no Kuni could almost taste the unease of his samurai; he’d selected only the finest men and women from his ranks to be here today and still the terrible feeling of foreboding haunted his mind.

From what he’d heard about this Akatsuki, he didn’t think that his paranoid almost overcrowding of chakra-bladed warriors was ill-advised...

“Mifune-sama, everyone has arrived...”

Blinking, his analytical gaze shifting to the young woman who’d just spoken to him, the leader of Iron Country nodded and looked around the room as the Kage’s were assigned seats at his level whilst their valets and guards sat in the upper levels directly behind them.

The chatter was minimal and only shared between those of their own Village... with the odd exception of Suna and Konoha; hmm, the way that Gaara of the Sand spoke with the Sannin Tsunade was something that the other Kage’s seemed to find suspect too...

It was probably a safer bet to get the talks underway before a glowering Raikage could start voicing his suspicions...

“Minna-sama” he called, his tone loud enough to fill the (now sealed; an arrangement that they’d all agreed upon to keep any and all conflict strictly confined within these walls to protect the people of Tetsu) room. “Thank you for your prompt arrival and attendance at this summit” he continued, all talking having ceased as each ruler placed the hats which denoted their rank upon the polished, mahogany desks that curved in a perfect circle to crown the floor which usually served as the speaker’s platform when his Council were in session.

“Thank you for hosting” the Tsuchikage voiced, the most senior Kage stated, his grin cracking ancient lips; it seemed that him being the first to offer thanks was something that a menacingly scowling Raikage was (oddly) displeased about.

“You’re welcome, all” Mifune returned with a light bow, his intuition recognising that him taking the reins was probably the best way forward. “Now, if I may direct your attention to the folders provided, my best information-gathers have...”

“Had their time squandered and wasted, I’m afraid...”

Snarling collectively, the disembodied voice echoing around the room whilst samurai and ninjas alike unsheathed weapons and closed in around their respective leaders (whom had stood to look around the chamber whilst Mifune’s elites began to thoroughly search through the upper-tiered seating), the Shogun felt his hackles rise.

“Who dares to disturb this conference?!” he demanded; “will you show yourself or will you continue to hide like a piteous fool?”

“My, my, such strong words” the speaker laughed, his voice deep and sultry. “Surely it would have been more foolish for me to simply appear within a room made up of so many powerful people?” he added through a chuckle whilst the samurai continued to make signs indicating that their search was fruitless.

“You snivelling, pathetic weakling!! Show yourself before I...”

“Do what Raikage-sama?” the unseen male snorted; “yar-yari, what a hostile welcome... you would think that the main topic of this little get-to-together would be allowed some time to speak with you all, you know, before you transgress into your characteristic temper-tantrum...”

“My what?! Listen here you smarmy, little...!!”

“Raikage-sama, please!”

“Heh, the bastard sure called his number” the Tsuchikage snorted, his levitated body hovering above the desk as the furious leader of Kumo smashed the barrier before him into splinters.

“Calm yourselves, all of you!” Mifune ordered, his katana unsheathed; “state your name and your business here... this is currently neutral ground...”

“What?!” the irate blonde snarled, his armoured hand pointing menacingly at the Shogun; “are we being betrayed?!”

“Of course not!” the warrior countered; “however, your foe is here and seems more willing to discuss matters than incite them” he reasoned, his tone stern but fair. “Should he wish to speak, then so long as his intentions are peaceful, he may have the floor under my authority...”

“Ah, Mifune-sama, how nice it is to see a man of reason in power for a change” the hidden figure commented smoothly, the tell-tale swirl of the kamui rippling at the centre of the stone-floored ring until an Akatsuki robed, orange masked man stood in its place.

Snarling quietly, his fists bleeding from the force of the clench, Maito Gai struggled not to buffer against a stoically frowning Raido as he and a senbon-twirling Genma watched on from behind a very deliberately, carefully neutral Tsunade.

So this was Uchiha Obito?

“Gentlemen, ladies” the cloud accented male orated, his hands spreading out in a grand gesture which he swopped into a deep bow; “my name is Uchiha Madara and I am truly honoured to see that all of my efforts have been worth your attention” he said, his body returning to a full-stand.

“Uchiha?” the Mizukage stated, her singular eye shifting to the Hokage; “if was my understanding that they’d all been slain...”

“They had been” the honeyed Senjuu replied, her arms folding across her ample bosom; “and yet, it would seem that not all of them have perished if that sharingan I can see is to be believed” she continued before, her legs pushing her up and into an equally strong stance, she glared at the figure below her. “However, this man is not who he claims to be, not truly, anyway...”

“What do you mean?” the brunette asked, her azure eye narrowing on the figure that didn’t so much as flinch at the revelation.

“My friend and fellow Sannin, Jiraiya, has recently had an encounter with this boy” she belittled, her gaze caustic; “his true name is Obito, a genin lost to us during the third great war... and, although I am unaware of the circumstances, we believe that he has had contact with his ancestor...”

“No, you cannot mean...” the Tsuchikage breathed, his eyes narrowing with his grimace; “do you mean to tell me that Madara, the Madara who fought both myself and the Shodaime Hokage is still alive?”

“Not yet” the Akatsuki leader cut in, his tone blithe whilst several people in the room began to murmur; “but, in time he will be” he furthered, that orange face turning more fully to regard Tsunade. “Ah, my Lady, I shouldn’t be surprised to see that you hold such privileged information, however, it is my pleasure to inform you that knowing my real identity shall do you little good” he said with a very much put-upon sigh.

Whilst their attention was drawn to his grandiose posturing, his real self (concealed next to a fire-exit with a cloaked, slain samurai) cast a genjutsu; with the final hand gesture, he nodded to a Zetsu clone peeking out of the seating to bring the zombie-combo forth, their smug bodies prowling to sit, unnoticed, at the uppermost tire of seats.

Then, his kamui activating, Team Taka silently arrived with a towering Jugo standing at Kakashi’s elbow to stop him from swaying.

“You are hidden” he told the teens, his head nodding to the room at large; “stay here but be ready... I can’t imagine that Tsunade’s forces will remain immobile when he is revealed” the older warned, his gloved hands grasping the last Hatake’s left and leading him out to the centre, his magnificently dishevelled form now just inches behind the shadow-clone which captivated the audience.

From their places, both Kakuzu and Hidan blinked at their toy’s presentation, their brows furrowing but their mouths silent.

“Ha! So we’re actually dealing some orphaned, gutter-snipe?!” the eldest Kage cackled, his concern melting away. “Hokage, you should have let us know sooner, why, whatever do we need this summit for if...”

“You’d be unwise to underestimate both him and his organisation, sir” Gaara cut in, his jade eyes not belying the seething rage his siblings could feel radiating from his form; “let us not forget that this man currently holds seven of the nine tailed beasts” he reminded, the Uchiha’s chuckle accenting his words.

“Ah yes, my apologies for your death, Kazekage” he said, his head tilting slightly; “da-na, you seem to have recovered well...”

“Shut your stupid orange-face, you bastard!” Kankuro snapped; “how dare you...”

“It’s alright, brother” the crimson haired ruler murmured reassuringly. “Now then, Madara, you said that you wanted to talk?”

“Mm” the red-cloud wearing ninja offered, a lesser gesture with his arms garnering their attention; “I have actually come here to make you a deal, one which I strongly suggest that you consider” he furthered, his mask now turning to a thunderously scowling Raikage.

“I want the remaining tailed beasts brought to me and a human sacrifice of one-thousand shinobi of chuunin class or higher...”

“What?!”

“Preposterous!!”

“You’re insane!”

“I’ve never heard such ridiculous bullshit!!”

“Kages! Kages please” Mifune shouted, his fist smacking into his desk; “calm yourselves” he ordered, his sharp eyes glaring fiercely at the Akatsuki whom stood beneath him. “What you’re asking, Uchiha, is as absurd as it is deranged” he stated, his words seeming to settle his peers somewhat; “I would instead put to you that you surrender to our collective custody, tell us where the stolen bijuu have been housed and provide us with ways to contact any and all operatives still working under your banner...”

“Hmm, a tempting offer... but I think I’ll pass” Obito replied with a shrug. “As a happy compromise, though, I will tell you why my demands need to be met” he promised, his legs gently walking him about his concealed prisoner and actual self.

“Over a thousand years ago, a goddess by the name of Kaguya fell to Earth and fell in love with a human emperor; it is them and their offspring who are responsible for there being chakra manipulation and ninja in this world” he said, his tone thoughtful. “I’m sure as many of you may remember from childhood nursery-rhymes that this is the case and that, thanks to them and the Sage of the Six Paths in particular, that so many wonderful and yet so many terrible things have transpired...”

“Ugh! What need have we for fairy-stories?!” the Raikage hissed.

“Ah, but you see, it is these very stories which will unlock the way for true, world peace” Obito countered. “When all of the bijuu are collected, they shall be merged into the ten-tails beast and I, as a holder of the blessed rinnengan, can become its jinchuuriki, summon the divine tree of the goddess and project an infinite tsukuyomi upon the moon, effectively ensnaring every human and ending poverty, diseases, death and war” he declared.

“Surely a thousand ninja to feed the tree is a small price to pay?”

“Oh! That is it! I have heard enough of this inane babbling!” A growled, his tall, intimidating form striding through the wreckage of his desk so that he could glower down at the Uchiha; “do you have any last words before I tear your God-damned-head off?!”

Chuckling, his shoulders shaking as it developed into full-blown laughter, the clone (unseen by the Kage and Mifune) effortlessly merged back into Obito’s real body; “ha! Oh, oh that is funny” he admitted with a nod.

“But do you know what is funnier, still? A man you may have known, yes, a fierce ninja of great strength and acclaim across all six of your lands...” he began, his sharingan fixating of Tsunade and her guards, the smirk he wore stretching into something truly terrible. “Well, he thought that my plan was delusional too... maa, but why take my word for it?” he said, his head inclining to Hidan and Kakuzu so that the pair would begin their descent.

Then, with Tsunade’s horror rising, Gai’s face bleaching and the other two jonin gasping, the masked Uchiha performed a one handed sign (to the disbelief of the entire room); “when you can ask himself yourself?”

Chapter Text

Everything seemed to slow down, and yet, happen all at once...

Kakashi blinked, the lush, endless field he’d been sat in (ha, the poetic justice of becoming a scarecrow in such a place not lost on his weary mind) suddenly giving way to four of the most important people he had left, their faces warped by horror, rage and disbelief.

“Well, Hatake-san? You have seen what I’m capable of, hmm? Do you still think that I am unable to carry through with my plans?”

The summit... shit... he was at the...

Gasping, he slumped to his knees, the discomfort radiating from his core had robbed him of what little strength kept him upright; he couldn’t hear anything above the rushing of blood pounding in his ears, his head jerking back when his usually gravity defying hair (now dropped to frame his face and head with the loss of his chakra) was grabbed.

Somehow, the jangling of the uchiwa-tag managed to breach the thundering filling his head...

“Stay where you are, friends...”

Sharingan sluggishly whirling beneath his closed eye-lid, the last Hatake’s natural eye struggled to focus on the Konoha shinobi in front of him, his senses picking up more people around them... so many scents... some familiar, some not... so much anger...

“Release him at once!”

Wait, was... was that Hidan and Kakuzu... Oh God, oh Kami... no...

“Hmm? You would have him fall on his face? Has he not been humbled enough by your incompetence already, Hokage-sama?”

Why... why weren’t they reacting? Couldn’t they see the enemy? Gai... Gai... turn around! Turn the fuck around...

“How dare you?!”

No... he couldn’t talk, his throat was just too dry, his body too exhausted to do anything but fucking kneel like some prized bitch in a dog-show...

“How dare I? This is the world of your making, all of you! He is one of your best, one of the best but look at him now, look at him! He shouldn’t have to suffer, he shouldn’t be fighting his real purpose, but he is, and he will keep on resisting and punishing himself thanks to some ridiculous sense of ownership the Village has instilled in him” the Uchiha called, his free hand pointing to each Kage in turn.

“Each one of you is responsible for the deaths and suffering of thousands... you’re petty, arrogant, weak-minded war-mongers who, to satisfy your egos and to please your Daimyo masters, have sent children, children to be butchered for months and years at a time... Oh sure, you too have fought, you too have lost, suffered, but now I am offering you a way out, a way to end this pointless, needless cycle of violence... Do you not have a thousand criminals between you for the tree? Are there not a thousand bad people who could finally serve a higher purpose, a service, for their transgressions?”

His vision was becoming woozy, the words that Obito spoke rattling around his brain as he tried his best to focus; his desperation to swallow, to speak, was making that damned collar feel all the tighter...

“This nonsense stops now!” Mifune ordered; “guards! Free that man and arrest the Uchiha...”

“One move made against me will mean total war!”

But he had to... had to try...

“Watch out...behind you!” he managed through a rasp, his world blurring with motion even as the sickening sound of a scythe slicing downwards and a scream of “yahoo!” flooded the chamber; as his body flew backwards through the air to smash into a wide, broad chest, Kakashi knew no more.

He wasn’t sure that he wanted to even if he could...

~*~*~*~

Gai had never known such deep, permeating hatred...

“You bastards!!”

The heat of his chakra, the burning felt good as six of his gates sprang open without the need for seals whilst the winter of his rage made him move at speeds that many in the room were awed by as the fighting began in earnest.

Hidan’s scythe had been his first victim, closely followed by the Akatsuki immortal himself, those crimson eyes narrowed in genuine surprise when a red, glowing fist connected with his jaw and sent him spiralling up and into a sprouting mass of Zetsu clones emerging from the ceiling.

“Shit-t-t-t!”

Attention shifting to the string wielder (whose threads had been snaking out to restrain him), the Green Beast of Konoha let loose his signature spinning kick, the whites of his eyes the only thing visible as it planted in the patch-work ninja’s chest to ram him through the seating and into the concrete which lined the chamber’s walls.

“Gai...”

“Leave these villainous curs to me...” he seethed; “I will see them destroyed for what they’ve started, what they’ve done... go, go and free Kakashi, protect Tsunade-sama” he added, his right hand jetting into the crater where tendons were already trying to snake out.

“For I shall not be denied my vengeance!!”

~*~*~*~

Ordering his samurai to subdue the things bubbling out of the walls, their ashen, globulous bodies laughing and grinning as the chakra-bladed katanas sliced any which way only to become stuck or sucked in, Mifune felt his brow start to sweat.

They were becoming more out-numbered by the second...

“Ah! Minna! Stop cutting! They’re absorbing the energy... oh Gods nnnoooo!!”

Snarling, his legs kicking him up and towards the upper tiers, the Shogun howled his rage when those creatures started to envelop and suffocate his men, their screams drowning in a sea of ichors that was starting to ooze down the levels.

“No!” he growled, his weapons proving ineffective; “shinobi! To the ceiling, to the ceiling!” he called, his gaze shifting to the lower levels to a sight that made his blood run cold.

They had not been ready... how had they not been ready?!

~*~*~*~

Standing back to back whilst those jeering, laughing faces tried to wrap, strangle and bite at their legs, Raido and Genma were finding that launching their weapons was becoming increasingly ineffective even as the Raikage’s massive fist (clearly aimed at Obito) phased through the calmly standing man to smash into a glut of eerie, golden eyed white that swamped the floor.

“Is this stuff a genjutsu?”

“No... no I’ve just tried every form of release I can think of and, if anything, shit’s getting worse” the scar faced jonin told his partner whilst the longer haired of the two threw a selection of his most deadly senbon at the hulking, teenage boy who was cradling an unconscious Kakashi by a still closed fire-exit; thanks to Sasuke’s flexing tantou, however, they were easily deflected.

“Damn it! Get the fuck off of me!”

“Fire style, phoenix-tail jutsu!”

“Lightning style, thunderous rampage jutsu!”

“Wind style, one thousand dancing blades jutsu!”

All around them, the Kage’s guards (their blades, fans, puppets and kekkei genkei active and ploughing into the goo left, right and centre) were struggling just as much as they were whilst the leaders themselves where stumbling, tripping and cursing all over the orange masked man who simply stood or side-stepped their efforts when merely phasing through their attacks seemed to bore him.

This was unbelievable, a absolute nightmare...

“Gai! Watch ou- wah!!”

Yelping, all three Konoha nin tumbled from the seating, their friend’s burning, ire fuelled body having slammed into them thanks to a combined, high-octane attack launched by the zombie-combo who, sensing their advantage, were leaping down to finish the job before, with a roar, a huge gush of sand ensconced them.

“Garaa-sama!”

“G-get ready” the Kazekage breathed, his armour already cracked thanks to one of Mei’s jutsus coursing into him instead of their Uchiha enemy; “I... I can’t hold... No!”

Snarling, his four heart-monsters pushing out of the red grains with a screech, Kakuzu sprang from the suffocating granules to smash an extending fist straight into the youngest Kage’s face whilst Gai, with an inhuman scream, ploughed himself up and away from the sludgy ground to grab a grinning, hysterically laughing Hidan.

“Woo! Jashin-sama! I give you this fool to add to your flames! Watch me as I gut him for you!!”

~*~*~*~

“T-this... this can’t be happening” the Tsuchikage breathed, his particle-dissemination attack draining too much of his chakra for too little result; for every patch of the manically chuckling, multi-faced slime he eroded, more slinked in its place.

“J-just what is this?” he muttered, his disciple’s stone-golem unable to eat anymore of the hideous mess as the Mizukage’s flailing body shot past him, her mouth choking out blood whilst an irate Raikage yelled out an apology; her two guards were desperately trying to reach her before a large drop of the disgusting substance swallowed her up.

“God damn it! Fight me like a man!”

“But A-sama, it’s so much more fun watching you destroy each other” the Uchiha laughed; “neh, Sasuke, if you’d like to join in now...”

“With pleasure!”

Watching him go, her body standing behind Jugo and his unconscious charge, Karin struggled not to panic as men and women flew, fell, fainted and fought all around them, the lethal blade Suigetsu brandished doing a fine job of keeping them covered whilst their enemy found themselves progressively dwindling.

“T-they don’t stand a chance” she found herself whispering; the thought of winning and winning so easily (for the majority of them were either being tossed into the line of another ninja’s attack or having their own rebound to them by Zetsu) should be something she wanted, something she should be celebrating...

And yet...

Her cherry eyes flitting back to that handsome, sleep softened face, suddenly, she just wasn’t so sure...

~*~*~*~

Tsunade, her lip bleeding from a vicious slap that she was going to take very personally, narrowed her honeyed gaze on Obito, the pair of them the only ones to stand on a stone-patch of flooring whilst chaos reigned around them.

Behind her, she could sense that her guards were getting tired, they all were and yet the battle could not have been raging for longer than five, possibly ten minutes.

Sasuke, his training under Orochimaru serving him well, was effectively keeping the violent punches of A at bay. Mei was spewing lava, the smoke produced from the cloying, burning mass of ichors filling the top of the chamber where multiple samurai were being eaten and digested whilst their horrified counterparts desperately tried to cut them free. Garaa and the Tsuchikage (along with their entourage) were grappling with all four of Kakuzu’s creations and the man himself, his right hand seconds away from crushing the larger Iwa-nin’s throat. Then Gai, the seventh gate on the verge of opening, was virtually flying overhead as the immortal cultist he chased crowed, laughed and taunted the darker haired ninja about the sickening, depraved ways he’d forced Kakashi to subjugate himself.

The rest of their forces, Genma and Raido amongst their number, were doing everything they could to stop the hall from becoming enveloped by the Uchiha’s most versatile underling who, clearly benefitting from the fallen fighters it was eating, was growing stronger and more confident; hands were sprouting to hold weapons and form hand-signs...

“Hmm... look at all of this” Obito sighed, his arms folded as they regarded each other; “and to think that it could have been avoided...”

“Don’t say such stupid things, brat” she spat, her hands swiftly combining to release a swathe of chakra from her reserves; “this is exactly what you wanted when you came here... this is a show of force... it seems that you get a real kick out of humiliating people” she added, her head nodding to the teens only a few feet away from them. “This little stunt you pulled with Kakashi is proof enough of that...”

“Stunt you say?” the younger snorted. “Oh no, Tsunade-sama, there is nothing fabricated about what I have done to him... I merely wanted to prove a point, to give you a better understanding of how the world should be...”

“What, ruled by you and your demented ilk?”

“No, my Lady, saved by us...”

“Ha! Saved?” she sneered, her body pulling into a taijutsu stance; “so you’ve saved him, have you? You see brutalising, raping and imprisoning someone as saving them, do you?”

“Kakashi will accept his place in time and enjoy a position of power that a slug like you could never hope to touch!” was the reply, a long, black lance protruding menacingly from out of his right hand.

“However, as someone he has cared about, I suppose I will allow you to say your good-byes” he added, the chakra rolling off the both of them causing Zetsu’s draping ooze to bubble and fizz.

“The likes of you and your ilk will not be permitted in our perfect world...”

Chapter Text

“... ite down... come on...”

Coming back to consciousness was a struggle he’d always encountered in his line of work...

“... n’t you just, you know, press his teeth down?”

Not that he’d been put under too often once he’d joined ANBU; the training, the types of missions and the importance of what he’d had to do usually pushed him into a habit of passing out the second he’d re-entered his small, studio apartment...

“... –aka! It doesn’t work like...”

Gods, was he tired...

“... yet?”

Something was tapping his cheek; it didn’t hurt but...

“Mm?”

“Good” a voice, it was male, it made him worry; “bite down, Kakashi.”

Bite down?

His mouth was open...

Oh no, oh Kami-sama no, he would not be forced to do that again if he could help it; if the bastard wanted a bite then he was going to damned well have one!

“Ah-h...”

A female voice and... wow... Wow!

Steel-grey eye widening, the soft flesh now pulled free from his mouth, the last Hatake (could he you really still call himself that anymore?) sucked in a breath whilst moving to hastily wipe his mouth, his head turning away from a strange, chewing-gum like sky to blink up at a lightly blushing, crimson haired girl and a deeply frowning, orange haired boy.

Now where the hell was he?

“Sit him up... we do not have a great deal of time to waste before the whole of Tetsu no Kuni comes down around our ears...”

Blinking, his hands pushing the gigantic teen’s paws away from him so that he could sit up (his energy levels were higher than what they’d been in a while and all of his pains were gone) despite the thick, cumbersome robe he was still trapped in.

“What’s going... oh... oh my God... No...”

All kneeling thanks to copious amounts of goo, some barely breathing, other’s definitely unconscious, Kakashi looked upon all five Kage’s and the current Shogun of Iron Country; in the next tier up, their bodies similarly arranged, were their attendants and what few samurai Zetsu wasn’t happily munching on in the wings of the once pristine assembly hall.

The Tsuchikage’s granddaughter was desperately trying to fight the tears which were spilling onto the bald ring of her grandfather’s head; the youngest member of the Mizukage’s guards was in a similar state whilst the booms of muffled explosions sounded all around them alongside the raised voices of concerned men and women.

“I think we can safely say that the first victory is ours, can’t we?”

Head swivelling to look up and to his right, Kakashi felt his teeth grit together as Sasuke and Obito, both only slightly worse-for-wear, looked down at their captives with all the smug arrogance of the undisputed winners of a game they’d rigged from the start.

All around the room, the sounds of crunching and muted, gagging noise echoed about the pair in the mockery of applause.

He’d done it... his former team-mate had actually done it...

“Ooh... is the princess finally awake, ah? Maa-ee, ‘Kashi-kun, you almost missed the grand finale...”

Jerking in shock, his movements not lost on the teen still towering over him (his hind-brain, which spoke like ANBU, commenting that his posture seemed more protective then domineering); however, the greater part of his focus zeroed in on Hidan, his bruised but ever grinning face alight with fiendish glee as he stood before...

“No...” he heard himself whisper, his legs pulling him up and away at speed until the older of the two Uchiha snagged him; with a twist of his arm and the shink of a kunai being un-pocketed to lie, feather-light, against his goose-bumped skin, he was effectively restrained, back to chest, against his former team-mate.

“Easy there...” the raven-haired Akatsuki murmured so that only he could hear; “stop, think and listen” he added but, for the life of him, all the silver haired Hatake could focus on was the pale-haired monster standing next to Gai’s severely bleeding head, his scythe lazily twirling to slice off a sprinkling of pitch-hair on every turn.

The left eye of his friend, the right was swollen shut, looked into his own with a calm serenity; it was the look of someone who’d made peace with their death, who was ready for it...

Kakashi wanted to be sick...

“Aww... would you look at that? What? Are you going to cry or something? Why ‘Kashi-kun, I’m hurt that after all of my tender efforts that it only takes something as silly as loping this guy’s head off to finally upset you” the cultist sighed out, his tone awash with mock distress and exasperation. “Mataku... I just don’t get it... he’s even more hideous in person... Maa~ now that I see him up-close, I don’t even think that Jashin-sama would want him... ugh, especially when he gets angry... Heh! You should have seen how big his nostrils were when I told him all about the first deal we made and all of those delicious little noises you’d made when we fucked you... Hmm, I guess he must have been jealous” he quipped, the three blades of his signature weapon rotating a little closer whilst Kakuzu, his body split with all four thread-creatures still looming behind him, snorted and rolled his eyes from where he lounged across the wheezing shoulders of Genma and Raido.

“Could this be one of those cheesy, vomit-inducing, unrequited love stories, nah? Well, at least I’m sending him off to the pure-lands with some nice thoughts of you on your back, on all-fours, on your knees...”

“You’ve made your point” Obito cut in, the rigid stance of his captive letting him know that the taunting had created the desired effect; “now then, my enemies all bow before me... they’re defeated and some are so close to death that, should they be denied further treatment, well...” he trailed off, his naked chin resting on the almost shallowly breathing shinobi’s shoulder.

“I have offered them a magnanimous gesture, a step towards a new and better way of living but, sadly, every leader has still turned me down” he sighed, his free arm wrapping around the Hatake’s obi-sash covered stomach. “It’s regrettable but not surprising...”

“Stop playing these stupid games with me, Madara, and tell me what you want...” Kakashi breathed whilst desperately trying to relax his posture.

“Clever boy” he chuckled; “you see?” he called to the room at large, “it’s not so difficult to understand, is it?” he added, his brandished kunai tapping dove-white skin.

“You will secure the kyuubi for me” he stated, his words igniting sluggish, fevered movement within the Konoha and Suna nin alike; “and I will spare your friends for you... well, spare them for now I suppose is more appropriate... the Kage though, well, I really can’t let this transgression go...”

“That’s not good enough” the Hatake reasoned in a similar volume, his words causing Obito to blink and turn his mask to rub at a soft, stubble free cheek, the classic ninja-tool angling so that the tip nicked vulnerable flesh, a small rivulet of blood skipping out.

“Are you trying to test me?”

“Isn’t that my line?” the silver haired shinobi copied, his clenched fists slowly loosening to allow his hands to rest (in a clearly non-threatening and tentatively gentle way) over the hand that pressed against his middle. “Madara promised me a reward for good behaviour, and you have promised me more than that...” he added, a small, saddened smile pricking his lips; “if you want me to secure the kyuubi for you, then it’s going to take much more than what you’re trying to cheat me with...”

Snorting until a deep, full laugh rumbled up and out of him, Obito removed the kunai altogether whilst the captive leaders and those of their posse who were conscious looked on with wide, incredulous expressions; from his spot, Hidan quirked a brow whilst Kakuzu narrowed those eerie jade eyes.

“Oh... but I just keep underestimating you, don’t I?”

“You’re a man of your word” the Hatake stated, his grey eye purposefully softened, purposefully locking with Tsunade as she desperately tried to persuade him out of what he was planning, what he was doing...

“That I am... state your terms?”

“Those two” he said, his head gesturing; “I want them dead...”

“Eh? What?! Haa! Good one, ‘Kashi-kun! There’s no fucking way he could even if...”

“Granted... Zetsu?”

“Shimata!” Kakuzu yowled as the ooze which trapped the men he’d been reclining on swallowed him up at an inhuman speed whilst Hidan, a startled laugh turning to a feral snarl, tried but ultimately failed to escape a similar fate when the floor he’d stood on opened and hundreds of snake-like tendrils twisted up and round him, dragging him down.

“This is fucking bullshit!! You can’t do this to me!! Jashin-sama~!!”

“Anything else?” Obito asked, the string wielder’s beasts crying and squealing as Zetsu clones stuffed themselves into their masked faces and the sickening sound of bones breaking filled the chamber whilst highlights of red and black began to stain the chomping, grinning masses.

“Your war is assured now, so let them live, all of them”

“Hmm...”

“Stop pretending” the last Hatake breathed, his body leaning back onto the other’s chest; “you want the challenge, you can hardly wait to charge into this war you’ve been dreaming up, to prove, once and for all, that you’re everything you felt the world thought you weren’t” he added, his fingers lightly tapping the gloved hand they rest on. “You’re a wolf now, right? What fun will it be to scatter frightened sheep if there are no Sheppard’s’ to cast aside, hm?”

“Clever boy...”

“So?”

“Fine, but don’t ask for...”

“Just one more thing” Kakashi cut in, the tapping turning to (what he hoped (he was still so unused to these things) would feel like) a caress; “since you’re being so generous” he murmured, his tone whisper soft. “Let me say goodbye to them properly? No Zetsu, no audience besides someone you trust to keep tabs?”

“I...”

“We didn’t get to say goodbye to Rin...” he reminded quietly; “our goodbye, there was so much...”

“You’re pushing me here...”

“And you’ll be pushing into me, later, won’t you?”

Huffing, Obito pulled away with a drawn out, long-suffering sigh: “very well” he stated, his head tilting to observe the potential candidates and finding none meeting his criteria; he didn’t know the teenagers well enough and Sasuke, well, to leave him alone with Tsunade...

“Team Taka” he called; “enact the scroll” he ordered. “We will meet you at the rendezvous point shortly; tell Pein-sama to initiate phase one” he added, his sharingan narrowing at his young cousin as he went to protest.

“But...”

“Off you go” he warned, his tone clear and menacing despite the jovial lilt he used; as though sensing the danger, the last Hatake felt a wisp of relief flutter in his chest when the boy he’d once taught nodded stiffly, retrieved the scroll from the storage pouch at the small of his back and roughly pulled it open.

With a tuft of smoke, all of the younger ninja were gone and only the masses of grinning, senseless goo and its sluggishly struggling captives remained; around the walls, cracks and smoke were starting to emerge as the people of Tetsu continued their assault.

“Hmm... it would seem that our time is up... Zetsu, release the Hokage and her underlings” he instructed.

“Hai-hai... Ano sa, should I leave the rest as they are?”

“Yes” Obito commented, his right arm reaching out to snatch Kakashi’s left to pull him towards the gasping, newly freed people; “just leave your ichors in place as a reminder and, when you’re finished eating, run along to our friend to see if our master’s ready to return to us” he added, his kamui whirring into life once more.

“The freshly rendered hachibi and kyuubi should make for excellent welcome-home gifts, now, shouldn’t they?”

~*~*~*~

Yawning, a yelp jumping past his fatigue stretched lips, Kotetsu shifted affronted, displeased eyes towards his partner (and not so secret lover) whilst rubbing the offended cheek that’d been pinched; “hey! What the hell is your...”

“How the heck can you be slacking off at a time like this?” the slightly younger huffed, an index finger jabbing into the other’s chuunin-vest clad chest. “We’re meant to be on high-alert...”

“Well excuse me for breathing, alright? You know that I haven’t been sleeping well...”

“And you know that we can’t afford to let anything stop us from protecting the Village” Izumo retorted, his right arm gesturing to the main gates they were guarding; “Naruto-kun and Jiraiya-sama could return any minute and... ugh... what the heck is that?”

Blinking, the pair focused all of their attention upon what looked to be a bundle of papers roughly the size and shape of a shoe-box; they were tied together by a simple thread of twine, their edges lifting lightly in the characteristic wind which usually taunted the vast gates’ entryway.

“Umm... that was not there a minute ago...” Kotetsu murmured, a kunai flitting up and into his hand; “should we, ugh, alert ANBU or something?”

“Hmm...” Izumo murmured, his left hand brushing through the bangs which covered his eye (a tell-tale sign of his nervousness); “maa... everyone’s so busy and it’s not as though the ward-shinobi aren’t monitoring every chakra signature which comes in and out of the Village... heh, we’re probably just jumping at shadows, you know?” he asked, his bravado building.

“Yeah, yeah... it’s probably just a pile of letters dropped by that mail-ninja... wasn’t there, like, a delivery scheduled for today?”

“Huh, yeah, that must be it” the bandage faced shinobi said, a chuckle he didn’t feel ghosting out of his throat. “Man, oh, man... we’re just too highly strung, that’s all... come on” he added, his head nodding to the package. “Heh, what are you willing to bet that that guy is in the mission’s office and Iruka-sensei is losing his mind because he’s fucking lost this, whatever the fuck it is, ah?”

Grinning (but still cautious; they were chunnin after all and, well, after what had happened to Asuma...), Kotetsu leapt over the barrier which sectioned off their small observation hut, his sandaled feet (mirrored by his lover) moving swiftly and silently over the dusty ground.

“Hey... are these...”

“Photograhs?” Izumo blinked, his hands forming a “kai” to release any threatening seals of genjutsu that could be activated; when nothing untoward happened, the pair regarded each other before the older made to pick them up, his eyebrows rising.

“Woo-hoo-hoo... this is some racy... ah... wait... oh” he trailed off, the initial glee that’d sparked from the shock which the initial image (a picture of what he’d thought to be an exceptionally handsome drag-artist playing geisha, a long, supple leg peaking out of the spread kimono as he lay, spread-out, across the grass) had provided quickly dying with the next image.

“Holy-shit...” his partner gasped; “umm... I know that porn is getting more hard-core these days but... Oh God, oh my fucking God!” he yipped, his hands snatching the papers from a blinking, heavily blushing Kotetsu, his own face bleaching white.

“Wha-?”

“It’s that fucking Akatsuki prick! It’s the guy who killed Asuma and Kaka... oh... oh no...” he gasped, his body shaking from the core as his lover slowly switched on to the same train of thought.

Silver hair, a diagonal scar running down an eye, the look of pain-riddled fury and bone-deep embarrassment...

“W-we... we’ve got to burn these...”

“No... no... they need to be... they could hold clues or...”

“S-shit... shit... wait... what? What the hell?! Why are they glowing like... No!!”

Crying out, the pair could do nothing but flail and desperately try to catch, snag and crumple the photographs that began to dance, spiral and multiply in the air; before they knew it, the area was awash with them to the point where even continued use of fire-release couldn’t burn them all.

In a further, cruel, twist of fate, the wind picked up to flit and float the lewd, depraved images up and across the Village...

Just as a plume of smoke announced the arrival of two Toad Sages...

Chapter Text

Coughing sluggishly, Gai struggled to stay awake as the world literally spun around him and that fiend, that monster who claimed to be the loud, attention hungry, formidable, loving boy who’d often tried to cut in to his and Kakashi’s challenges remained at the last Hatake’s elbow even when they arrived at their grey, desolate destination.

“You have ten minutes” the masked lunatic stated, the possessive grip on the younger shinobi’s arm visible regardless of the thick, crumpled fabric which acted as an ineffective barrier. “Say what you like because there’s no way for you to stop what’s coming” he continued before the sharingan glowed ominously from the depth of his mask. “And no touching” he instructed, a lethal aura roiling over his form; “should you make any attempt on his life then I will keep you alive just long enough to see your precious Village and everyone in it burn to cinders” he warned and, with that, turned and began leaping away to the platform where all of the provisions they’d been using were laid out.

Collectively, the five remaining Konoha nin let out a sigh, their eyes slowly moving around each others’ weary faces as Kakashi sank to his knees, his left hand absentmindedly rubbing at the blood itching at his neck; “I’m sorry” he started. “I... I really don’t know what...”

“Stop it” Genma breathed, his eyes narrowed and bitter. “I can’t hear apologies from you, you’re not at fault in any of this, taichou” he breathed, his broken arm quivering whilst Raido (still calm on the surface, a torrent of emotions underneath) carefully helped him to put it into the make-shift sling Tsunade had fashioned from his ruined jonin-vest.

Having refused to look at the youngest of their number, the Hokage was instead using what chakra hadn’t been sapped out of her by the fight and that thing to help soothe the swelling of Gai’s face and throat; out of all of them, he’d taken the most damage thanks to Hidan, thanks to his outrage on Kakashi’s behalf...

The silver haired ninja just shut his eyes and focused on breathing.

How had they fallen so far in just a week?

“It’s a stupid question” Raido murmured, his words pulling all of their attention towards him; “but how are you holding up?”

Offering what he hoped was a small smile, the last Hatake shrugged; “maa~ I’ve been better” he admitted, his expression dimming a little when his former subordinates (his friends, real, honest, caring friends) didn’t attempt to mirror the joviality he’d attempted.

“You take.... too much... on yourself, my rival...” Gai wheezed, a gentle hand patting a still reluctant Tsunade on the arm; “please... Hokage-sama, you must... save your strength...” he argued, those once glistening pupils moving back to the kimono wearer. “I thank you... Kakashi... for my life... for the chance you’ve... given us... even if... it may well be... hopeless as he says...” he added whilst pushing himself up.

Trying to argue him back down together, the four of them settled on the blonde haired Senjuu and scar-faced crow-summoner propping him up.

“What in the world are you doing?”

“I... want to... speak with... him” he breathed, his face determined as he nodded to the platform in the near distance. “I must...”

“Have you lost your mind!?” Genma hissed; “Gai, for fuck’s sake, there’s no reasoning with him...”

“I know...” he said, his smile wobbly but bright; “but still... I feel that I must... say my peace... before I can... no longer...”

“But...”

“I’ll take him” Raido promised, his tone resolute; sharing a look with his (less than thrilled, beyond worried) lover, the usually stoic man nodded at him in the most reassuring way he could; “we’ll be fine... Obito may be deranged but he’s still together enough to make and keep promises” he murmured.

“Just make sure that you’re back before the time is...”

“This... this is not... good-bye...” Konoha’s Green Beast stated firmly, his eyes lighting with that usual, endearing fire that brightened the lives of all who knew him as he turned from Genma to the Uchiha’s chief-prisoner. “Kakashi... these times... they’re dark ones... and I... I know I do not have... the right to ask you... to have any faith in me... in us when we have so... so deeply failed... you...”

“Gai, don’t...”

“Please... don’t give up... this game of his... it is a game... a game that we may... win yet...” he added, a shaky thumbs up flashing before, with a grunt, he motioned towards the enemy; blinking back his own emotions, Raido huffed and began to leap (passenger in tow) towards the platform where (a now mask-less) Obito was glaring at them.

Watching them leave (a silent prayer flitting through his mind) Kakashi was quite unprepared for what happened next; “uhh... Tsunade-sama... don’t... you can’t...”

“Do you really think that I care about the orders of some ridiculous brat on a power-trip?” the last Senjuu snorted, her body moving to sit beside him before, much to his panicked floundering, she enveloped him in a strong, warm hug.

Stiffening (thoughts of Obito tearing over and tearing into one of his most trusted friends and mentor), Kakashi found his resolve fizzing away when Genma moved to join them; at the sound of his (thankfully) muffled sob, their arms collectively tightened and all three allowed the trauma of the day, the week, to surface.

~*~*~*~

Humming lightly, his scaly hand lazily swirling a beaker, Kabuto didn’t so much as flinch when his guest (so very rudely unannounced) literally poked out of his work-bench, its warped head twisting up to look at him like a particularly dangerous snake.

I little part of him, the one which sounded like his soon to be revived lover, couldn’t help but view the comparison almost fondly.

Almost...

“Why are you here?” he sighed out, his golden, reptilian eyes narrowing on the progressively thickening mixture he was gently stirring.

“Ano... we’ve just defeated all five Kage” Zetsu began, his words causing the other to still. “The war should happen... mm... soon, I think” it added, its own gold eyes flitting around the darkened, sterile environment. “Maa~ is Madara-sama’s body ready yet? Neh? Can you really revive him thanks to what Nagato told you? Can this jutsu really be done?”

“Of course it can” the medical genius snorted; “Obito isn’t the only one who wants someone precious brought back before his true goal’s reached, you know” he huffed, his tail flitting to three coffins lined against the wall to their right.

“Will he want those two brought back soon? If so, I’m going to need a lot more chakra...”

“Neh, neh, I ate a whole-bunch of powerful people today” the lead-clone chortled, a long, serpentine tongue darting out to dance across abnormally spread lips; “umm... and Hidan-san and Kakuzu-san too... hmm-hmm, I think Kakuzu-san actually counts as five people though...”

“Heh, turning on his own subordinates so soon, is he?” Kabuto cut in, a snide little smirk tugging his lips. “Not that I’m surprised, I suppose... actually, in a way, I might even be impressed” he added with a shrug, the substance he’d been blending having now cloyed into a blue, gelatinous mass. “He’s a powerful man who does what he needs to for the ultimate success of his plan” he continued before his tail perked up to snag a large, stone crucible. “Yes, I know and can respect that kind of commitment, especially if I and Orochimaru-sama are to benefit from it...”

“Umm-hmm, Tobi is a good-boy, he always keeps his promises” the white ichors being agreed, its form slumping out of the bench to slouch its way to the coffins. “So...”

“What?” the Hebi-Sage grunted, his tone clearly annoyed; it was bad enough that Obito’s strength and resources meant that he had to be at the Uchiha’s beck-and-call, but it was quite another to be disturbed whilst finalising a potion which would enable his lover (and himself) to stay young without substituting bodies.

It was to be the perfect welcome home gift...

“Eto... can you do it now?”

“It?” the grey haired glasses wearer muttered distractedly, the crucible slowly but surely lowering onto a sturdy part of his work-station. “Look, I haven’t got time for your...”

“Ano sa, ano sa, I didn’t eat so many samurai and get to be forgiven for touching something I shouldn’t have to go back to him without them...”

Sighing, his shoulders slumping, the genius pushed his glasses up his nose and regarded the creature with a long-suffering sigh.

“It will take me at least a day to...”

“Oohhh... I see, well, I can always tell him that you’re too busy too...”

“No” the scale accented Sage grumbled, his scowl thunderous. “No... if he wants them revived now then that’s what he’ll get” he stated, his hands carefully placing his equipment to rest before he spun on his heel to storm over to the coffins.

“Well?!” he spat; “don’t just stand there” he ordered, his hands exasperatedly pointing to the paper seals which carefully wrapped all three of the wooden caskets. “Start feeding your chakra into the seals here, here and there...”

“Maa~ you want me to bring back that snake-guy as well?” Zetsu queried, its expression dubious; “I don’t know... Obito didn’t say anything about...”

“Look” Kabuto cut in, his arms crossing angrily. “That was a part of the deal I made with him... In exchange for bringing back those two and reviving key shinobi for his war, he’d give me Danzo’s body with those stolen dojutsu so we could both benefit from Hashirama’s cells and allow me to return Orochimaru-sama” he stated, his frown poisonous.

“Mm, mm” the clone nodded, its body shuddering to sprout the amount of protrusions necessary to hit all of the markers at once; “okay, I guess it’s fine” it reasoned, a lop-sided grin taunting its unusual features.

“And, if it isn’t, you’re the one who’ll be in trouble” it cooed, a string of razor sharp teeth flashing as it attached itself to the assigned area, a flow of vivid, living chakra virtually gushing out of it to emblazon the coffins.

“Neh-neh, that might mean I’ll get to eat you, too...”

Chapter Text

Obito was not amused.

‘That old hag’ he growled to himself; ‘if it wasn’t for Kakashi making such good progress I’d have tossed her ancient carcass into one of the endless voids over there’ he thought, his scowl deepening when, as he’d assumed, two more nuisances from his past made their approach.

“It seems very ungrateful of you to simply through your lives away after your friend has risked so much to save them” he quipped, his body standing from the crouch he’d been in, a fresh sake bottle in hand.

“If you’d... truly... wanted us dead...” Gai rasped; “no favours... bought by... my rival... would have stopped you” he reasoned, his words causing the Uchiha to snort and Raido to glare in response.

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” the crow summoner snapped. “Is this all some kind of sick, twisted joke to you!?”

“Heh, does it look like I’m laughing?” the raven haired Akatsuki leader retorted, his miss-matched gaze giving the speaker the once over; “who the hell are you, anyway?”

“Tch, figures that you wouldn’t remember me... it’s not as though we all went to the Academy together, at the same time” he huffed. “I’m Namiashi Raido and, every lunch time, without fail, you’d accuse me of stealing the last milk carton and complain that I did so on purpose, to spite you” he reminded, a vicious little smile pulling his lips. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t know who the fuck you were back then, either...”

“Wow, you’ve got a lot of guts” Obito deadpanned, his smile equally sardonic after he took a hefty swig from the dainty vessel; “would you like me to show them to you?”

“You don’t scare me, you jumped up piece of...”

“Raido... please” Gai intervened, the chakra roiling off the pair making him light-headed. “We did not... come here... for that...”

“Which, of course, begs the obvious question” the Uchiha spat; “give me one good reason why I shouldn’t gut you here and now... aside from making a mess for him to clean up” he furthered, his eyes flashing with snide amusement as he nodded at the other trio of Konoha nin.

“You bastard...”

“Raido” the green-beast sighed, his wobbly legs desperately trying to stand unaided. “Please... Obito... you must listen... to what I have to... say” he breathed, their eyes locking.

“Hm? That’s where you’re quite wrong... I don’t have to do anything, including wasting my time on the words of a clearly dying man... but I did promise ten minutes and, according to my calculations, you still have five left” he mused before taking another deep draft from the bottle held.

“Thank you” the taijutsu specialist returned, his words causing Raido to stiffen until, with a gasp, the last Namiashi watched as the other man pulled away to bow, his whole body crouched down whilst his head (complete with lopsided hair thanks to Hidan’s scythe) planted into the solid, grey-mass that was the floor.

“Gai...”

It was the ultimate form of submission and humility...

“Please... please, I’m begging you... let Kakashi return... to the Village...” he begged, his voice choked with emotion. “Please... whatever your... your differences are... whatever has... conspired... between you... He... he has suffered enough for... for any transgression...” he argued, his eyes tearing to bleed trails of white down his cheeks which pooled onto the chrome his scalp pushed against.

“Gai, don’t...”

“No Raido... I must... I have to try...” he close to sobbed. “Onegai, if you want someone to hurt... someone to punish for... whatever it is... that’s brought you to this conclusion...” he continued, his fists clenching. “Then... I beg you... exact your revenge... upon me instead!”

Obito... blinked.

He blinked once, twice and a third time before, to Gai’s horror (and a fuming Raido’s chagrin), he started to laugh.

And laugh, and laugh until he was almost doubled over, the sound of him cackling filling the void they inhabited even as he dropped the (thankfully empty) sake vessel to wipe his eyes; watching him, the Namiashi carefully bent down to help pull a startled, teeth-gritting Maito to stand, his hands giving his friend a firm, reassuring squeeze.

“Ooh... oh my God....” the Uchiha wheezed; “you... ugh... you have no idea, do you? No, you haven’t got a fucking clue!” he accused whilst pulling his shoulders back, his amusement rapidly shifting to incredulous anger. “I’m not keeping him with me as a punishment, I’m not hurting him for revenge or even because I want to! Hell! I’m working very much towards the opposite and he’s slowly but surely coming around to realising where he truly belongs... and he doesn’t belong with you” he snipped.

“Da-na, I get that you’re trying to be noble, or whatever, and that your intentions, no matter how cringe-worthy, are borne of your feelings for him... However, I most certainly don’t want you or anyone else from the Village or from anywhere as a replacement!” he spat, his face scrunching in disgust.

“But...”

“Oh no, no more of your overzealous words, please” the sharingan wielder huffed, his flesh hand moving up so that he could pinch the bridge of his nose. “Look, allow me to let you in on the joke you’re clearly missing here” he sighed, a long suffering look sliding from a deeply frowning Raido to a blinking (now thankfully tear-free) Gai.

“Kakashi is mine, you see, he’s mine in every way and sure, I may have had to twist his arm here or there...

”You’re a fucking monster” the Namiashi hissed.

... and you, along with the rest of Konoha’s people, have benefitted from it but, what you need to understand, is that this is all very short-term” he stated, his dojutsu daring the crow summoner to interrupt him again.

“Soon, very soon, the world as you know it won’t exist and all of this pain, this sadness you’re feeling... it’ll be over, you’ll be happy and you’ll get to live in a world free of every current woe” he said, his hands and arms opening in a welcoming gesture. “It’ll be beautiful and, better still, you needn’t do anything other than stay out of my way, that’s it, just allow me and my ancestor do what the Sage of the Six Paths instructs and...”

“That is total bullshit!” Raido snarled, the scar running across his face crinkling as he struggled to remain inactive. “How do you know what will make us happy?! And how dare you talk to us about happiness when you’re degrading, manipulating and forcing yourself on...”

“D’you know what? I’ve had enough of this” Obito sighed, his kamui activating; “when you see them, tell the other Kage that I said ’hello’” he added, a grin taunting his lips when the pair attempted to leap away.

It was a shame, really, that he wouldn’t be able to look Kakashi in the eye if he went back on his word; the one thing that they had never done, would never do, was break a promise to each other.

Rin was no exception; it had been her decision, after all...

He’d have to make sure that she didn't try anything like that again when she returned...

“Obito!!”

Looking up, another sigh puffing through his lips, the Uchiha glared at Tsunade whilst she and his silver-haired lover held back a long-haired brunette who was spitting profanities in his direction and making all kinds of nasty, inappropriate threats.

Huh, Raido’s partner, then?

“Yes, Hokage-sama?”

“What have you...”

“Oh, don’t worry, your time’s merely up, that’s all” he called before, casually, beginning his journey back to their platform. “They’re perfectly fine... you’re welcome for that, by the way...”

“Tch, don’t talk to me as though you’re granting any favours” the blonde Senjuu scowled. “When are you going to drop this nonsense? It’s not too late...”

“Ha! What? You’re the one talking nonsense now, Tsunade” he cut in, his sandaled feet scuffing the ground as he landed. “Are you trying to tell me that, should I just give up now, surrender the bijuu, say I’m sorry, disband Akatsuki and come home, all will be forgiven and I can set up shop in the old-district, reinstate my Clan and live happily ever after, hmm?”

“Don’t be stupid” she spat, her chakra buffering; “you and I both know that it wouldn’t be that simple but it is doable, over-time” she reasoned, her honeyed eyes narrowed. “Minato spoke to me often, Kushina and I were firm friends before the madness of the third war” she continued, her stance strong as Genma and Kakashi stood behind her. “You were a part of his first genin-team and he loved each and every one of you... he had such high hopes and was thrilled to learn that you, his wife’s favourite, wanted to become Hokage” she said, her tone nostalgic, almost pleading.

“Their son is named Naruto and he is so much like the boy you were, he’s been raised with the lessons your death taught Kakashi and his dream is the same as the one you once held...”

“Um, so I’ve been told” Obito shrugged, his face completely nonplussed. “Heh, a kid wants to become Hokage, and? Isn’t that the penultimate goal of all the innocent, little children sent to institutions like your Village’s Academy? I could care less” he grunted, his right brow quirking. “The issue of this Naruto has already been decided... he’ll be a casualty, of course, being a jinchuuriki means that there’s no avoiding it” he admitted. “However, as I’ve just been trying to explain to your friends, this is all very short-term” he grunted, his tone suggesting that he was very much done with having to constantly explain himself.

“Now then, I guess that this is farewell until the battle starts, my Lady” he offered, his rinnengan narrowing when she moved to take a defensive position; “oohhh... don’t give me an excuse, Tsunade, because I’ll take it...”

“Brat...”

“Hokage-sama” the last Hatake murmured. “We’re nukenin now” he added, his expression sombre when she looked at him and Genma cursed under his breath; “please don’t forget that...”

“You do too much” the blonde ground out, her caustic gaze returning to the Uchiha; “no, no I won’t forget... we’ll stop you from attaining the kyuubi, I’ll bet my life on it.”

“Heh, do as you please” Obito snorted, his frown deepening when he noticed that the brunette had an arm wrapped around Kakashi’s shoulder; “oi, move away before I have the mind to move you myself...”

“You can separate us all you want” the senbon wielder stated, his tone icy as he did as instructed; “but at the end of the day, no matter who wins or loses, you can’t force true feelings on people” he warned. “If you keep up what you’re doing, you’re going to find that perfect world you want is just a flat, meaningless hallucination full of fake smiles, hollow laughter and the shadows of people who could have loved you, who could have cared” he furthered, his teeth flashing.

“I almost feel sorry for... whooph!!”

“Genma! No!”

“Obito, please!”

Throwing himself at the Uchiha, his arms flinging around the older ninja’s neck whilst he planted his bare-feet against the floor, Kakashi made a desperate attempt to stop him from swinging another sharp, efficient blow.

“Don’t!”

“Kamui!”

Still holding onto the heavily scarred Akatsuki leader, his body panting (the burst of chakra that girl had given him all but eaten away by the collar which still jangled at his neck), the last Hatake breathed a sigh of relief.

It wasn’t the first time, he knew from experience, that Genma had taken a blow to the gut; he’d be fine...

He had to be...

“No more favours” the older muttered into his hair, his own body relaxing with the feel of his lover pressed against him.

“Okay” Kakashi murmured, his form not resisting in the slightest when strong arms enveloped and lifted him clean off the ground; “thank you... for keeping your word to me...”

“No, thank you for keeping yours” the Uchiha replied, a familiar smugness lighting his voice.

“I think it’s later now, isn’t it? So I best get to pushing into you, hadn’t I?”

Chapter Text

Tobirama Senjuu didn’t often feel confusion; for a man of his skill-set and mentality, he could usually see through even the most complicated of matters with only a handful of key details.

However, meditating peacefully amongst a flower-field in the pure-lands, an odd sensation pulling his focus and waking to total darkness (his flesh itching and his limbs burning) was something not even his intellect could comprehend.

He took a deep, calming breath until, with an uncharacteristic blink, he realised that he was breathing...

No, hyperventilating...

No, living...

“W-what...?”

Shuddering, the sound of it bracketing around the close space he occupied (a coffin? A prison cell? A genjutsu?), the Niidaime Hokage focused on stilling his fingers (which were trembling as they ran over the smooth wood which ensconced him) and calming himself.

Something very peculiar was happening and, knowing his luck, it was the result of a foe, not a friend...

“Well? Are you going to grace us with your presence or do I need to fetch you out, Rama-kun?”

Eyes widening, his jaw clicking with a rekindled fire and frustration, Tobirama used this remerging energy to slam his palms into the wooden panelling before him; a flicker of satisfaction flitted across his consciousness when the coffin lid flew away at considerable speed.

That flicker promptly extinguished when a grinning face peered inside the casket to leer at him...

“You?!” the silver haired Senjuu snarled, his legs stumbling when he tried to launch himself at the long-haired Uchiha.

“Ah, careful, coming back to life is quite the jarring experience, after all” Madara chuckled, a strong hand pressing onto the younger man’s chest; taking a moment (his prey still dazed), the currently single-eyed man allowed his eternal sharingan to rove up and down that beautiful, naked body.

It was just as he remembered...

“You maniacal... lunatic” the facially red-accented shinobi hissed; “what... what kind of madness have you dreamed up now?”

Chuckling (even when his hand was slapped away), the older man (pleasantly draped in his preferred yukata and haramaki; just another reason why he’d have to reward Obito’s foresight, he supposed) stepped back to allow the Senjuu to exit before, with lightning fast reflexes, he moved to snap a silver collar his protégé had had fashioned about the other’s neck.

“What? You...”

“Yes, me” the Uchiha chuckled, his arms easily catching, turning and scooping up the man he’d so hotly pursued in their youth, the same man who’d nearly (so very nearly) given in to his advances and surrendered to him completely...

Until Hashirama and Mito had intervened...

“P-put me... d-down...” the albino stuttered, the chakra drain and sudden movement making his head spin; “Ugh... I’m not... going to let you... get away... with... umph!!”

Grinning into the kiss (it’d always been the fastest, most effective way to silence his pesky quarry), Madara all but waltzed his way to the area Zetsu had shown him after he’d emerged from death; at the back of his mind, he could sense the strange, snake-people murmuring and, through the rinnengan...

Ah, he was entertaining; he’d have to call for the boy when he’d finished taunting whomever those Konoha-nin were or had been to him.

Not that he minded thanks to the squirming of his own silver haired concubine, of course.

“H-how the-e h-ell hav-e you-u...”

“Um? Oh, I see, being alive again must be quite the puzzle for a shinobi-genius such as yourself” the older commented, his smirk thoroughly, deviously pleased. “Did I not tell you that I’d find a way to see my dream realised and that you would be a part of it?”

Scowling, his body carefully placed (naked and on full display for a group of monsters in a lab that made his old research facility look like a cheap-set in a two-bit kabuki theatre) upon a large, overly-stuffed futon, Tobirama attempted to sit up and (at least) get his bearings before, to his continued annoyance, a piece of fabric was spread over him.

The classic red and white of the Uchiha Clan’s uchiwa stared him dead in the face as he batted the fabric away.

“Am I... to wear... this?” he spat, his goose-bump laced body trembling still from the shock and fatigue; “ha! Not likely...”

“Ho? Prefer to stay naked, do you?” Madara purred, his tone sultry as he crouched down to snag the struggling Senjuu by the chin. “Well, that suits me just fine... and I am certain that my comrades will not mind the view, either” he complimented with a jaunty twitch of his eyebrows.

Scowling venomously, the pale haired Niidaime looked past the fiend who’d tried to enslave him in their youth to glare at the other three occupants of the room; one was a twisted mesh, a parody of a person who looked at him with curiosity and amusement. Whilst the other two...

“Wait” he breathed, his crimson eyes narrowing; “you... you’re the vile fiend who... turned me into a... a damned puppet...” he seethed, his body once again trying to sit up. Modesty be damned, he needed to free himself of the ridiculous, chakra-binding metal that had ensnared his neck and make an escape.

Usually, retreating would leave a sour taste in his mouth but, until he had more information and a base of operations, then...

“Ah, my apologies for that, Tobirama-sama” Orochimaru voiced in a sultry manner, his body draped in a long, black-silk kimono. “You may rest assured that I will never again make a move against you as my allegiances rest, very firmly, with Madara-sama from here on in” he added, his neck tilting to give the man in question a bow whilst a snake-like man grinned next to him and did the same. “You have my gratitude and my services, my Lord” he told the Uchiha, his body returning to its deceptively elegant pose; “were it not for you and your efforts, I would have remained in my previous state for much longer than I’d hoped... therefore, ask of me what you will, and you shall have it.”

Feeling his teeth grit (for the man, creature, before him had chakra reserves similar to his own if uncapped), the captive (bloody useless) Senjuu cursed internally whilst wrestling the dove-white, uchiwa branded yukata.

Beside him, not that he’d so much as look at the grinning bastard, he could virtually feel that devilled eye watching him.

“Um? Oh, yes, your allegiance is duly noted” the Uchiha replied, his tone bored whilst he focused on the sight provided by his rinnengan; hmm, and speaking of dojutsu.

“Ah, you there, did you collect Shisui’s sharingan from that ridiculous fool who thought himself to be a Hokage?”

Turning a keen, perceptive gaze towards the legendary ninja, Kabuto nodded before (his hand linger on Orochimaru’s even as the older man bid him to move) striding to a glass-fronted chiller; “it’s in perfect condition” he commented, his scaly fingers plucking out a vial. “Would you like me to transplant it now, or...”

“That shan’t be necessary” Madara cut in, his right hand effortlessly snatching it from the thing that called itself a Hebi-Senin; “now, sadly, Rama-kun and I must be on our way” he added, a smirk quirking his lips when the albino glared at him, the yukata’s belt tightening substantially.

“Zetsu?”

“Hai Madara-sama?”

“Has phase one been initiated?”

“Hai” the ichors being replied, its nod enthusiastic. “Konan-san’s ability was very useful in spreading those images all over the place...”

“And the kyuubi?”

“In Konoha” it stated, its smile wide and pleased; “you should have seen the boy’s face... what’s happened is the talk of the town... maa~ee~ that and their Hokage still being over a day’s journey away... ano... but that’s not quite right” it chuckled, its face warping with glee. “Tetsu no Kuni is still covered in my essence... it’ll take them at least a week to get the roads cleared and, as instructed, I’m gobbling up anyone who gets too close or too cocky...”

“Excellent” the raven haired shinobi complimented, his sharingan then swinging towards the snakes who’d pledged themselves to his cause. “Phase two will commence first thing tomorrow morning and, in the mean time, I’m expecting you to begin retrieving and reanimating gifted ninja from across the Countries... however, should my current goal of securing the hachibi fall through...”

“We will be ready” Orochimaru promised.

“Good... Zetsu, alert them if Kisame fails and direct them promptly” he instructed, his gaze finally returning to a decidedly stoic and displeased Tobirama; “we will see you in Hi no Kuni before sun-rise... make sure that Pein and the others remain stationary until then...”

~*~*~*~

Blinking, Kakashi found himself (after Obito had stopped, mid-kiss, to gasp and activate his kamui) alone on the futon, his eye staring listlessly up at the grey, domed sky as he tried to catch his breath.

Should he stay put? Did it matter?

Huffing, he moved to sluggishly scrub at his face with his hands, the sleeves of his God-forsaken kimono flapping until...

“What?”

Trying his best to sit up, the chakra-binding collar making every move laborious, the last Hatake stared intently at the inside of his right sleeve, his mouth falling open in shock.

A slender, lily-white capsule (perfect for blending in with the rich fabric) had been pushed into a lightly torn seam that secured the cuff.

Genma had given him a selection of senbon...

Clutching the plastic casing before quickly stashing it away again, Kakashi called out a silent prayer of thanks to Genma whilst taking a deep, steadying breath.

He could stop Obito now, he could stop all of this...

He just needed to wait, let the Uchiha have his way with him and then, when he was sleeping...

“Ah, I believe that my protégé was, indeed, correct when he selected silver over gold for the pair of you...”

Stilling in shock, his head snapping and expecting to find Madara leering at him from within Obito’s body to his immediate right, the silver haired jonin instead found three people stood (well, one was being carried) there.

Oh... God...

“You look even lovelier than before, my dear...”

The last Hakate just didn’t know what to do, or say, think, feel...

He was, however, beyond relieved that his lethal little secret was safe... and he’d have to put on the show of his life to keep it that way.

“Wow, it’s no small feat to render Kakashi speechless, Madara-sama” Obito chuckled as they walked over; watching them, his natural eye catching the lividly flashing crimson of (holy shit!) the Niidaime as he was (quite unceremoniously) dropped next to him, his own collar jangling, Kakashi couldn't stop his confusion from voicing itself.

“I... I don’t understand... you said that your... return was...”

“Months away?” the eldest grinned, his eye twinkling with pleased, devious mirth. “This just goes to show what the right motivation can produce, doesn’t it?” he furthered, his smirk positively shit eating as the pair (the lovely likeness was quite uncanny) glared up at himself and his younger Clansman. “It is, of course, in no small thanks to you... why, your presence at Obito’s side and your value to Konoha have helped so much in turning the tides in our favour” he added whilst crouching down, his smirk stretching when the pair glowered that much harder.

“And speaking of favours...”

“Stop this!” Tobirama spat; “I may not know who he is... but I can see... your damned marks... all about him” he hissed, his left hand thrusting out to bar the rapidly blinking Hatake’s chest in a protective gesture. “What you’re doing... it is wrong, it is a sickness... Madara!”

“Um? Oh Rama-kun, I can remember a time when you would beg for those marks, yourself...”

“Those were different times” the Senjuu seethed, his brows furrowed; “I had thought you a man of honour, integrity and strength... but you wooed me with lies... lies and genjutsu...” he snarled, their eyes locking. “After... I had thought it all... some cruel trick... as revenge for Izuna...”

“Tch, it would seem that we have much to discuss... too much for this place and time” the eldest of the group murmured as he stood; “mm, perhaps returning to the onsen in Tea Country would be better” he admitted, his head tilting towards his protégé as Kakashi paled and Tobirama cursed.

“Yes, a fitting place to begin your second life anew... we did so enjoy ourselves there, didn’t we, Rama-kun?

Chapter Text

They’d been sat together, bound (because being chakra-restrained wasn’t enough of a precaution, apparently) and locked into a minor-pantry attached to the small kitchen Obito had mentioned, their backs leaning into ancient, yet remarkably stable, wood.

The Uchiha were milling around outside, their bare feet padding whisper quiet across the floor-boards as they moved to store the onsen with whatever goodies Madara had deemed suitable from the stock-piles the younger man had somehow crammed inside the kamui dimension. Their chatter was light, pleased and bizarrely domestic for a pair of men responsible for some much death and destruction over the past sixteen years, destruction that, it seemed, was coming to a head any day now...

‘Oh Naruto...’ Kakashi thought, his eyes closing as laughter filled the onsen; ‘no matter what happens tonight, tomorrow, I promise to do everything that I can to break the promise I’ve made to him’ he added, that bright expression and brilliant smile of the teen in question flashing briefly across his mind’s eye.

“They have left once more...”

Blinking, the (technically) younger man turned his head to view the stoic, former Hokage who’d not said a word to him even after he’d introduced himself the second Obito had left them to their imprisonment; he hadn’t be surprised or concerned by the other’s reserved nature, though.

It was something he’d been famous for, after all...

“That teleportation technique” the crimson eyed ninja furthered; “what do you know about it?”

“It’s a direct manifestation of Obito’s unique kekkei genkai... he doesn’t require hand-signs or an inordinate amount of chakra because it’s an inherent trait” he stated with a light shrug; “as far as I’m aware, all Uchiha who successfully achieve the mangekyo have a special ability which, even when they’ve swapped eyes, can be used or developed further...”

“Ah... it would appear that I am speaking to no ordinary man” Tobirama cut in, his head tilting in acknowledgement; “the Uchiha don’t allow just anyone in on their secrets...”

“Maa, Niidaime-sama, a lot has happened since you were, well...”

It was awkward, speaking to a man so idolised by the Village (and by his father; Sakumo had always taught him, from the time he could understand, that ninjutsu itself would be nothing without the younger Senjuu brother). However, the quiet, reserved, often surly (but caring and loyal to a fault to those he cared about, if Sarutobi-sensei’s words were to be believed) shinobi next to him was trapped, like he was, had been humiliated, like he’d been, and was just as chakra deprived.

“Hm... roughly how much time has passed from the day of that Kumo-led ambush?”

“Fifty years, give or take” Kakashi replied, his eye absent-mindedly watching dust particles dance in and out of the solitary electric light which shone down by the tiny, multi-shelved room’s only exit; “in that time, there has been a third war and Senjuu Tsunade now rules as Hokage” he added, a true smile lifting his lips. “She is doing an excellent job regardless of her initial reluctance and, before the Akatsuki, an Organisation co-founded by those two, it looked as though all five Nations could have enjoyed an unprecedented period of peace” he furthered, his tone more bitter than he’d liked.

If only he’d stopped Obito sooner, he was a genius, he should have found a way to...

“Aside from the Uchiha, what are we up against?”

Ah, spoken like a true leader of a ninja Nation...

“There is a creature called Zetsu whom Madara is misleading and using... it isn’t human and can clone itself to feast on people and chakra alike...” he began, a light shudder running through him. “I haven’t seen the full extent of its abilities but it is able to reproduce at will and spread its consciousness across huge expanses of land... its frightening and unlike anything I’ve ever encountered before” he murmured. “Then there’s Uchiha Sasuke, he is the youngest of the three but has been trained by a man who’s achieved Sannin status... and, as for the rest of the Clan, they were assassinated on Sarutobi Hiruzen’s orders...”

“What? Why? How could such a loss be justified?”

“A coup, allegedly” Kakashi responded, his right brow quirking at the usually stern male’s demeanour so suddenly changing. “Worse still, a particularly gifted member of the Clan, a man who was my subordinate in ANBU and a credit to our Village, was the one who stepped up to do it, to prevent what surely would have been a bloody Civil War and the destruction of Konoha itself” he sighed. “That man was Sasuke’s older brother...”

“I see” Tobirama murmured; “out of all the peoples I have known, fought and worked with, none have loved so deeply as the Uchiha... and, of course, this love of theirs can very easily be warped, twisted into something possessive, ugly” he sighed. “Our current position may prove that more than anything else” he continued, his cool gaze softening slightly whilst he turned to look at him more closely. “This Obito, he was known to you before you were taken?”

“He was my team-mate, once” the last Hatake said, his bound hands twitching; “I’d thought him dead... he was lost to us during the third war when a group of Iwa-nin attempted to crush all three members of our team under a land-slide” he breathed, a flash of that awful day, the sound of his friend calling out for Rin...

“It is no small thing to defeat, let alone kill, someone you once considered a friend” the slightly taller man murmured; “but I have a hunch that I can rely on your assistance in this matter?”

“Heh, more than you might think” Kakashi murmured, his rope knotted hands (which had been laced together and were currently resting in his lap) twisting to manipulate the fabric that covered them; within seconds, his hidden treasure was revealed for the former Hokage’s inspection. “Before you arrived, I was allowed one final meeting with my comrades” he explained, the capsule swiftly returning to its hiding place; “one of them is an elite senbon specialist” he furthered, the albino’s interested look sharpening as a smirk pricked his lips.

“We will talk more on this” he promised quietly, his brows furrowing; “I can feel the strange twisting of Obito’s ability starting to puncture our reality” he breathed (whilst the last Hatake tried not to look awe-struck by those words; to be a sensory was one thing but to feel shifts in the fabric of space and time, well... that really was something else).

“I cannot promise much, not in my current state, but I will attempt to keep them occupied this evening whilst you recover and keep their attention away from the kimono” he added, his face reverting to the same, neutral mask he’d worn upon their arrival.

Nodding carefully, Kakashi tried to centre his breathing and demeanour; a small part of him, and he knew it do be wrong, was happy, glad just not to be alone anymore.

His resolve had been weakening and he wasn’t sure how he would’ve...

“Hm? What’s this? Are you so quick to slip into your reclusive ways, Rama-kun?”

Snorting, the Senjuu levelled a thoroughly unimpressed gaze at the single-eyed Uchiha, his chin tilting back at a superior angle; “I have no time for idle talk, Madara, with you or anyone else” he stated bluntly, his brows furrowing. “Playing your petty games with me is one thing, but allowing that boy of yours to do as he pleases is sloppy, even by your standards” he added, his lips dipping into a light scowl; “I had once referred to you and yours as a pack of wild animals... I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised to see that this analogy still holds truth...”

“Ah, unflappable as ever” the long haired male cut in, his long legs striding into the small space to secure a fist-full of a startled Kakashi’s hair, the force yanking the younger man forward, his kimono-clad knees skidding on the floorboards.

Hissing (but otherwise keeping quiet), the last Hatake grit his teeth and attempted to lessen the strain on his neck as the other two men continued their conversation.

“Whatever you think resurrecting me and playing dictator in your little hide-away will accomplish, allow me to remind you of the folly your last attempt at subjugation led to...”

“Um? Oh yes, but nii-chan isn’t here to stop me now, is he?” he chuckled, his hand effortlessly (and at speed), pulling the younger man completely off the floor; it snapped out, with all the deadly precision of a python, to instead snag the kimono wearer by the neck. “Your hatred of me had always been fanned by Hashirama’s desperation to secure a friendship and to merge that friendship into his vision of the Village” he said, his tone conversational despite the gasping of his victim. “When we went on that joint mission to Suna, are you telling me that that was a lie, a folly?”

“Thinking of the past is pointless” the Senjuu argued, his eyes momentarily flicking to the struggling ninja next to him; “what matters now is the future and, speaking of which, if you’re going to kill him then damned well get on with it” he snapped, his expression full of challenge. “You’re not impressing anybody with...”

“Oh? So you would let him die, would you?”

“What is he to me?” Tobirama offered; “if you think you can manipulate me through the well-being of a stranger...”

“Stranger, you say?” Madara chuckled, his hand (just as easily, just as casually) releasing (the now coughing and spluttering Hatake) to slam back into the ground; “does he not look familiar to you at all? Hmm? No tell-tale signs of family resemblance?”

“What are you...”

“It would appear...” the Uchiha said with a grin, his legs crouching him down to a glaring Kakashi’s level, his hand now reaching out to snatch the other’s handsome jaw-line to tilt an equally lovely face to regard a bewildered looking Niidaime. “That my protégé and I have very similar tastes... hmm, do you remember, I wonder, that your father had a younger brother who forsook your blasted Clan and made his way to Rai no Kuni with a small group of followers?”

“You’re not suggesting... you could not possibly...”

“Oh, but I am” he chuckled; “Zetsu has been doing some investigating around Konohagakure no Sato as we prepare for the dawn and phase two” he said, his smirk pleased and full. “Hatake Sakumo, newly inaugurated Clan-head and known as the ‘White Fang’, secretly married and begot a child with Senjuu Kagome, youngest daughter of Senjuu Kenji, your cousin... It was a scandalous affair, of course, and she chose to leave the boy with his father and return to Kumo where, understandably, she was assassinated by their Hunter-Nin... Not that it mattered, really, for all other members of her Clan branch had been despatched, their names erased from history, during the time spent with her husband in a cottage hidden deep within the border-lands of Hi no Kuni” he related, his tone the very mockery of compassionate.

“That... that isn’t right” Kakashi breathed, his face unable to pull out of the grip it’d been locked in; “there’s no way that you could...”

“Tell me, my dear, were you ever given a black box sealed with a Senjuu crest? Ah, no, you couldn’t have been for it was still locked and caked thick with dust in the Hokage Towers’ basement... hai, only someone with your unique chakra signature could hope to open it... this, of course, was no problem for Zetsu as, I believe, he has... um, ingested a sample or two of your essence?”

Snarling, his self-preservation levels at zero, the last Hatake (part Senjuu) spat at the Uchiha; however, the flicker of self-satisfaction he had soon died when the other merely grinned wider, wiped his face with his free and stood with the struggling man still in tow.

“Madara, don’t!”

“Hou? What does the fate of a stranger matter to the great Tobirama, neh?” he asked, his smirk growing progressively more dangerous.

“Release him!” the crimson eyed male ordered; “I know what you’re doing...”

“You do?”

“Yes” he growled, his expression murderous; “take me in his place...”

Chuckling, the raven-haired man (instead of dropping his captive) simply hoisted Kakashi up and over his shoulder, the motion quick and jarring to the chakra-bound jonin; “thank you for the offer, Niidaime-sama, but you’ll have to do much better than that...”

“Madara!!”

“We’ll come by to see you later, of course, for the evening meal” the Uchiha returned blithely, his hands intentionally squeezing the cursing male’s backside.

“I’m hoping that you’ll have a much more pleasant demeanour by then...”

Chapter Text

Obito hadn’t been conflicted at all since the day of Rin’s death...

“P-put me down!”

He’d slaughtered left, right and centre (when needed, when it’d suited his purposes, the rinnengan a weighty, reassuring presence as he did so) and it had never mattered who; surely the death of Minato-sensei and Kushina-chan was proof enough of that...

“Oh? Now you presume to give me orders?”

And yet, as he sat in the small onsen’s restaurant area, an open, black-lacquered box full of things (such private, delicate things) that he had no right looking at, let alone touching, a little part of him felt sick.

What if this had been a gift from his parents that his grandmother had purposefully kept from him?

“I might not be... any match for you... on the battlefield... but that doesn’t mean...”

They shouldn’t have opened it; Zetsu should never have touched it and whichever Hokage had locked it away had no right to deny Kakashi his true heritage...

It was just another example of why this desolate, corrupted world needed ending...

“Ah, my dear, that’s exactly what it means” Madara chuckled as he entered the room where Obito was sat, his arms helping the (deliciously struggling man) back to the ground, a few decisive tugs upon soft, silky ribbons freeing the others hands and legs. “Now then, I’ve been assured that the first meal of my second life shall be one of the best I’ve ever eaten” he stated, his smirk positively shit-eating; “I’d advise you to ensure that it is with a reminder that the pair of you will be sharing our celebratory feast, therefore...”

“Tch, poisoning food... is beneath me... and you deserve... so much worse” Kakashi close to growled, his lips pulled into a scowl which had the older chuckling; it really did look more like a cute-pout than anything else.

Ugh! At this point he would happily sell what was left of his soul for a mask, any mask, god-damn-it!

“Duly noted” the Uchiha replied breezily; “well, get to it, you should find everything you need in there and, as a bonus, this open hatch makes everything you do aptly visible, so no trying to stash away knives or whatnot, hmm?” he ordered whilst blithely turning (further proving just how little a threat he perceived the last Hatake to be) to enter the restaurant proper.

“We’ll be checking you quite thoroughly later to make sure... and you’ll not like the consequences should I be displeased by any brattish behaviour... it is not what I expect and not what I’ll tolerate from one of mine, do you understand?”

“Perfectly, master” the younger returned in the same sickening tones, the lilt of his voice just the right side of sarcastic; the exaggerated bow he gave may have ruined the illusion, however.

Snorting (he was much too pleased to allow a little rebellion to sour his mood and it wasn’t as though their youngest concubine could do anything other than spit feathers, after all) Madara sauntered leisurely to where, much to his surprise, Obito looked perturbed.

“Hm? Is this the face of a man who is about to see all of his dreams realised?”

Blinking, his miss-matched gaze having been tracking Kakash’s movements the entire time, Obito offered his senior a smile and pulled out the chair beside him so that they could study the kitchen together; “forgive me” he murmured, his flesh hand closing the box. “I was thinking on other things...”

“Heh, quite the distraction you’ve picked out for yourself” the older commented, his singular eye offering a wink; “but do not look so sullen... this unpleasantness will pass, it is, ah, like the breaking in of a horse” he continued with a light shrug, the jagged spikes of his midnight-hair jostling against the old, wooden seat he’d occupied. It had been strange to see the onsen decked out with them as opposed to the more traditional cushions and low tables he’d been used to, however, he did find the padded back surprisingly amenable.

Their collective home, when it was built, would have a few of these in the private dining quarters he supposed; he was certain that the Mokuton-user Zetsu was in the process of securing (in part to persuade the ichors being he was, ha, serious about summoning that cursed tree) would be able to cobble up a few for the palace.

“I can’t believe that we’ve come so far, that everything we’ve done is finally coming to fruition” Obito sighed out, his words warm and breaking Madara free of his musing; “I never doubted that you’d be able to do everything that you’ve promised, not once, but to have all our of labours bearing fruit...”

“Hai... it’s wondrous, isn’t it?” he grinned, his smile almost ethereal with pleasure; “we must celebrate thoroughly this evening...”

~*~*~*~

Flicking his eyes up from the various pots and pans he had on the go, the Uchiha’s conversation too quiet for him to thoroughly understand, Kakashi kept on checking the loose-seam on the kimono’s cuff under the guise of trying to push the sleeve out of his way whilst chopping, slicing and cutting.

Sadly, the senbon which Genma used had been engineered by the genius to seal the poison inside the core of the long, cocktail-stick-like weapon; only when the tip breached a surface would the deadly toxin or tranquiliser be released.

So he couldn’t lace the bastards’ meal even if he had wanted to...

If only they had some kind of shared allergy he could exploit...

“Maa, Bakashi, is the meal ready yet? It smells really good...”

Blinking (but managing to stop himself from jerking in surprise; shit, who knew that being chakra-deprived would making him so unaware of his surroundings), the younger man narrowly avoided throwing his spatula at the kitchen’s latest intruder whilst the scarred man looked about curiously.

“Hmm, well, if you want salmonella poisoning then, by all means, help yourself to that raw-chicken over there” he quipped, his steel-grey eye narrowing; he’d been half tempted, after Madara placed him down, to open the sharingan and knock himself unconscious so that the ebony-haired fiends had to make their own damned dinner.

However, he was starving too and, with this damned collar on, pulling strength from anywhere he could was a must; he needed, at least, to have the competency to accurately aim and throw the senbons that, if possible, he’d split and share with Tobirama.

Speaking of which...

The oldest out of the four of them was no longer seated at the table; shit...

“So... it’s going to be a while, then?”

“Twenty minutes, give or take” he replied, his face and tone as nonplussed as he could make them whilst turning back to the three tired steamer before checking the roasting ducks in the oven.

“Could everything, umm, you know, be left for a while?”

Frowning, his body warily standing to view the other at the opposite end of the small, galley-styled cooking area, Kakashi felt the icy touch of dread lick up his spine; “umm...”

“Look, I... the box, did you...”

“Oh...” he breathed, the dread morphing to hurt; it must have been visible (ugh! Mask! Please!) because Obito ducked his head in the ridiculous, guilty gesture he’d always adopted when Rin had found a wound he’d tried to hide.

“I...”

“It doesn’t matter, really” the last Hatake sighed, his body turning back to the stove; “I’ve had everything else taken away from me... so you may as well take and keep that, too...”

~*~*~*~

Tobirama hated feeling helpless; he was a genius, the Niidaime, a man whose name had been feared through every Nation other than his own...

And now, he couldn’t even release himself from a selection of decorative strings that’d been interlaced around his wrists, ankles and legs...

Somewhere deep in hell, he was certain, Izuna must be laughing at him...

“Enjoying your, ah... what is it they call it? Time-out, Rama-kun?”

Glaring angrily at the Uchiha, the albino then chose to turn his face away to observe the empty shelves (that he’d checked and re-checked twenty times or more for anything of use... not that he’d be able to get up even if there had been).

“Ah... how this reminds me of the old days...”

“Locked many unwilling lovers up in pantries over the years, have you?” the Senjuu snorted, his teeth gritting when the other closed the gap between them, his body (all chaotic-power and feline-fluidity) flowing effortlessly into a crouch.

“You weren’t always unwilling...”

“You’re boring me” Tobirama huffed; “what we had died long before the pair of us actually, truly died and...”

“You kept my body” Madara reminded, the fingers of his right hand moving to gently stroke down that soft, pale cheek; “you could have dissected it, disgraced it but, instead, all you did was look at my eyes, smooth my hair and hold my...”

“So I grieved, I am not made of stone... and it was on Hashirama’s orders that you weren’t to be...”

“Did my death truly upset you so much?” the Uchiha breathed, his digits moving to turn the other’s head towards him. “Is that why you never conformed, never married to have children of your own?”

“Don’t flatter yourself” he snorted, their eyes locking; “there was too much to do... I was to succeed my brother so that he and Mito could...”

“Tch, don’t talk to me of her” the older close to hissed; “she ruined everything...”

“She saw through what nii-san and I could not” the Senjuu countered, the crimson of his gaze sharpening with icy-distaste; “how can you talk to me of feelings and of being lovers when you were purposefully manipulating me? Using those demon eyes of yours to...”

“The pair of you weren’t listening to reason!” Madara snapped, his hands now rushing out to shake the other’s cotton-yukata clad shoulders. “And now look where we are! If you’d kept the bijuu, told all four of the Shinobi-led Nations that..."

“That what?” Tobirama cut in, his tone incredulous. “That they were second to us? That they needed to pay tribute? Acknowledge that Hi no Kuni was the absolute ruler of the world?”

“Would there have been two more wars, would what is happening now need to occur if you had done that? Hashirama had his faults but his overseeing of every Nation...”

“My brother could never have...”

“That is why it was you who should!!” the Uchiha all but exploded, his wrath and volume shaking the albino to his core as they regarded each other under the artificial light of that singular, warming-amber lamp.

“That was what I had been guiding you to do...” he added quietly, the pained looking creasing his handsome features straightening into something more resolute, serious.

“Madara-sama?”

Huffing, the jagged layers of his raven-hair shifting as he turned his head, the elder regarded (an almost sheepish looking) Obito, his glare only lessening when the boy bowed at him respectfully; “our meal is ready?”

“Hai” he replied quickly, “I have set four places, but...”

“Good” the elder stated, his whole posture relaxing as he stood to look down at a still frowning Senjuu; “are you going to join us?”

“Will I be allowed to sit with my cousin?”

Chuckling, the Uchiha snagged the other’s bicep to tug him up; with a few swift, efficient gestures, the ropes dropped away and, offering a hand which was (begrudgingly) taken, he led his prize towards the exit which is protégé was holding open.

From the scent of things, he was not going to be disappointed...

Chapter Text

The spread laid out before them could have featured on the front of any high-end gourmet magazine...

“I told you he was brilliant, didn’t I?”

Rolling his eye at the praise, Kakashi continued to place condiment bowls upon the three tables Obito had shoved together for their purposes, his sleeves having been (very carefully, meticulously) rolled up and out of his way whilst pouring various soups, sauces, dressings and juices over the appropriate dishes.

“Why Ashi-kun, it would appear that your talents have no end” Madara applauded, his hand still leading a (half frustrated, half amazed) Tobirama towards the feast.

“I’d like to say that I helped but, aside from dishing up, well...” the youngest Uchiha chuckled, his hands pulling out a chair for the last Hatake to sit on; flicking a thoroughly unimpressed glance at him, the jonin in question sighed before taking it, his head bowing lightly at the Senjuu who, as promised, was allowed to sit beside him.

“Have you really done all of this?” the Niidaime asked, his eyes shifting from beautiful display to steaming dish to glistening pot; “you could not have had more than two hours...” he added, an unflattering growl-like noise rippling from his core.

He had been alive for the better part of the day without eating...

“It’s a hobby” the younger silver-haired male admitted whilst picking up his chopsticks, his light shrug highlighting how ordinary he found his masterful creation to be; “the plum sauce isn’t as smooth as I’d like but the dumplings should more than make up for it” he furthered, his steel grey eye meeting the pleased, pitch glint of Madara’s.

“Heh, you’re too modest for your own good, Ashi-kun” the senior member of the table chuckled; “itadakimasu” he announced, his left hand lifting the pleasantly full sake cup into the air to toast Obito whilst the silver haired duo merely began their meal in contemplative silence.

Before them, two cups of tea which had been poured were left to go cold...

~*~*~*~

“Here, allow me to help you...”

Stomachs sated, the promise of other appetites to be satisfied lightly touching the conversation, Kakashi and Tobirama (as instructed) had made their way outside into the humid night-air, their bodies illuminated by the full-moon over-head as Madara watched them.

Then, convinced that their bound-chakra would keep them close-by, the Uchiha turned back inside to assist his protégé in the removal of dishes; they would be eating breakfast in the restaurant before entering Konoha and starting phase two, after all, and therefore leaving the place awry was neither productive or sanitary.

Shifting his analytical gaze to track that mass of midnight hair as it retreated into amber-lit inn, the Senjuu let a sigh escape him whilst unwrapping his fellow captive’s obi-sash, the pair of them having made their way to the small bathing area where a large, sticky scorch mark marred the ground.

“They have brought you here before?”

“Hai...”

“I see” the Niidaime breathed; “it was a notorious location in my previous life... a place where men and women with certain predilections were known to frequent” he added, his hands carefully folding and placing the expanse of material to one side. “Unlike you, I fear, I had freely come here quite often...”

“I’m not one to judge” Kakashi offered, a touch of pink fighting to occupy his cheeks at the thought of surly, intimidating, powerful Senjuu Tobirama, Niidaime of Konohagakure no Sato, coming to a seedy little love-shack in the back-waters of Tea Country with Uchiha Madara of all people.

It was a testament to their undaunted skills as ninja that no one ever spoke or even wrote about it; this may have been the reason, perhaps, for the henge-technique being born.

Now wasn’t that a thought...

“Are the senbon still secure?”

Nodding whilst shucking off the robe-based-hiding-place, the last Hatake (now naked before his father’s idol) tried not think about what was about to happen, what was happening; “I doubt that we’ll have any kind of opportunity now” he said, his eye looking about the moth-accented sliding doors that they’d walked through. “However, I’m hopeful that tomorrow there’ll be a chance... Genma will have given me something swift and potent, I’m sure.”

Humming, his own yukata joining the neatly (carefully) wrapped up kimono, the older man gestured to the waters and began his approach; “I don’t believe that I’ll be a part of whatever this phase-two is” he murmured softly, the sound of laughter rippling out of the inn making him wary. “However, Madara becomes talkative when relaxed so I’ll see what I can find out before the dawn... I wouldn’t hold out much hope, though” he sighed, his brows uncharacteristically furrowing with worry. “I have rarely had to face situations where I’m unable to overcome an opponent and, as much as I’d prefer to reassure you, I fear I may be of little assistance...”

“Maa, Niidaime-sama, I have had seven days of this so, in terms of feeling useless, I’m pretty much at Sannin level right now” he tried to chuckle, the vapours of the hot-spring making his sensitive nose twitch as he breached the waters.

“You must not be so hard on yourself... the Uchiha are...”

“Very easily offended” the oldest of their group cut in, his tone light and pleased; “so I’d choose my next words carefully, Rama-kun...”

“The Uchiha are prone to devising ridiculous nicknames, have no understanding of boundaries and love to hear the sound of their own voices” the albino quipped, his glare caustic; “also, their choice in tea is deplorable...”

“Ah, so Ashi-kun told you not to drink the brew I picked out for you, neh?”

“I wasn’t overly fond of the honey, either” Kakashi shrugged, his shoulders mostly submerged beneath the water as he and Tobirama made their way to the pool’s centre, their hair drooping to frame similarly displeased faces.

“Heh, that’s not how I remember it” Obito chuckled, his body almost stripped as Madara threw his clothes to rest atop the small stool his protégé had sat upon a day or so ago.

“You wouldn’t” the last Hatake snorted, his eye rolling; any joviality soon dropped when the dark-haired shinobis entered the onsen to join them.

“Hmm, this is a sensation I have sorely missed” Madara sighed out, his form gliding into the lightly bubbling pool with all the grace of a black swan, his body immediately swerving towards the older Senjuu whilst his descendent skirted to Kakashi, his right hand grabbing the younger man’s left to pull him along.

Sighing, but seeing little point in retaliation at this stage, the silver haired concubines parted to opposite ends of the pool with their respective Uchihas’ as guides; already place by the groupings of rocks which made private enclaves for the patrons, a selection of lit candles and bottles had been artistically arranged...

~*~*~*~

Tobirama watched the young man (who was winning more of his admiration by the minute) reluctantly follow, a surge of protectiveness cresting over his consciousness as he subconsciously went to follow; a firm grip on his wrist prevented him.

“Interested in a joint coupling so soon, are you?”

Unsuccessfully trying to tug his captured limb free, the Senjuu turned livid eyes upon the slightly taller man; “he should not be here... he should not have to...”

“But he is and so, Rama-kun, are you” Madara purred, his tone all sweetened honey and fire. “Don’t worry yourself too much, Obito is infatuated with him and, once all the unpleasantness of settling the Nations has come to pass, all will be well...”

“And to think that I’d once regarded you as sane” the albino cut in, his weakened body forced to stumble and paddle in the older man’s wake. “Do you truly believe that this scheme of yours won’t be foiled? That the ninja of this time will simply fall in line on your say-so?”

“Of course” the Uchiha snorted, his expression clearly insinuating that his captive was mad to think otherwise. “You have seen me at me peak, you know what I am capable of, yes?”

“Sadly” the other grunted, a swift kick at his ankles sending him to slip into the man-made cove (and a familiar one, at that).

“Now I want you to imagine how much more I could be as the reincarnated avatar of the Rikudo Sennin, the embodiment, no, the jinchuuriki of the ten-tails...”

“You wouldn’t survive it” Tobirama argued, his back roughly pressed into the smooth rock he’d laid on so many times before... under very different circumstances; “no ordinary mortal could...”

“Ah, but as an Uchiha, a direct descendant of the Six Paths Sage, I am anything but ordinary... the rinnengan is proof of that...”

“Rinnengan?” the crimson eyes male queried. “Do you mean that strange dojutsu that your underling is carrying? Is that how you’ve managed to convince him to follow you?”

Snorting, Madara leaned into the other man, closely, possessively, his hands very firmly planting themselves upon slender, alabaster hips; “Obito follows me because he knows and understands what you as a self-righteous, ignorant Senjuu cannot” he breathed, his tone just the wrong side of dangerous. “But I do not have the time, right now, to preach to you... no, you and your blood need to see change in action before you believe it’s possible” he said, his erection (long, firm and demanding) roughly jutting against (he was very pleased to note) Tobirama’s hardening length.

“And speaking of action...”

~*~*~*~

“Hey... I don’t want you to worry, you know, about tomorrow?”

His arms were pillowed under his chin, his full-front partially resting and partially floating against a longer, slightly curved bar of stone whilst Obito (in what the other probably thought to be a romantic gesture) tried to rub the tension out of his shoulders with some kind of lily-sweet oil.

“You’re going to use me in one way or another to murder Sensei’s son, so whatever should I be worrying about?” he replied quietly, his eye watching the flicker of several candles and, a feeling of nostalgia taking him, briefly remembering a time that his father had sat him down and spoke about ‘the will of fire’...

Maybe he shouldn’t have thought of it; fairytales had been the unmaking of him this week, and potentially the unmaking of everything else...

“His death... it’ll only happen for a little while...”

“So you say...”

“Aren’t Madara-sama and Tobirama-sama being alive proof enough for you?”

Sighing (and desperately trying to resist the moan that was crawling up his throat) at the feel of strong, talented fingers unwinding the various knots that kept his muscles taught.

“Heh, that feels good, right?”

“Um” he returned, his eyelid closing to join its twin; “couldn’t we just get away from here? Go somewhere else, together?” he asked softly, his tone tired.

“What? Don’t say such stupid things...”

“How do you know that he isn’t using you, Obito?”

“Ha! Like you’re not trying to manipulate me now, genius?”

“Of course I’m trying to manipulate you, I’m trying to make you see sense” he admitted, the stilling of those fingers letting him know that he’d probably (definitely) pushed his limited luck too far.

“How about I make you see stars, instead?”

~*~*~*~

Madara had, with some sense of carnal longing, thoroughly enjoyed wrestling his quarry into a more submissive pose, the eager fingers of his right hand already thrusting deeply (so very deeply) inside of the other to stroke, jab and massage the prostate he’d found.

“Aah... aahhh... Mmma...”

Chuckling (he’d have the other howling before long), the Uchiha ensured that his left hand retained its grip upon the other’s wrists which were pressed firmly into the small of the Senjuu’s back, the rest of that glorious, pale-marble sculpted body was bent over to press into the grass that encircled this side of the pool. Those wisps of moonlight hair, so soft and feathery despite their jagged appearance, the perfect contrast to the inky blades of grass which the handful of candles arranged around them were partially illuminating.

“S-stop... you... you’re...”

“Not until you ask me nicely to have my way with you, Rama-kun” he ground out; “I have waited far too long to long to see you like this, to hold you like this again” he reminded, the slow, torturous pace nothing that he couldn’t sustain for hours if he needed to...

“Aaahhhh!!”

“Ooh, looks like someone is enjoying themselves” he murmured, the echoes of Kakashi’s cry rippling all around them as, with a wicked grin, he thrust a particularly powerful stab at his lover’s sweet-spot; Tobirama’s answering call was just as loud.

“M-Mada-ra...”

“Yes?”

“J-just... just get-t o-n-n w-with...”

“Oh no, beloved, you will have to ask me properly...”

~*~*~*~

The preparation had lacked the gentle pleasantries of the shoulder rub (he’d been, Kami-damn-him, enjoying) and now, his channel roughly stretched, Obito was ploughing into him at speed, his hands gripping listlessly at the stone to stop himself from being smashed into it.

“Aaahhh!!”

It didn’t hurt beyond the jarring movement jostling his fatigued muscles; the lube had done a fine job and his body was becoming (tragically) used to such abuse wrought inside of him and to his aching prostate but the pace, the demanding grip on his right hip and on the back of his neck, were the main cause of his distress.

“O-Obito... please...”

“Why should I... treat you... better?” was the snarled reply; “you only see me... as someone... who’s a tool... being used, right? I’m just... your jailer... so maybe that’s how... I should treat you” he panted, the feeling of that slick, sweltering channel bearing down on him spurring him on despite his anger. “Do... do you really... think I want to... to do this... to you? Do... do you think... that I like making... my point... this way?”

“Ahh! Ah! Y-you’re... hurting me...” he whimpered, his voice breaking and spluttering against the warm water splashing around them; “please...”

“I don’t... want to hear... anything... other than... an apology...”

Screwing his eye shut, the pace and mounting pleasure warring with the bruising pressure on his neck, Kakashi sucked a deep breath between his teeth; “I... I’m sorry...” he keened, the nails digging in his scalp tightening their hold.

“What?”

“I... I’m sorry” he repeated, the brutal thrusting having slowed.

“For?”

Steeling his resolve, his body shaking, the sound of that gods-forsaken uchiwa still jangling in his ears, the last Hatake tried to relax and ease the tension building inside him; “I... I’m sorry for... accusing you... of anything” he offered, his mind cloyed and stuttering. “I... didn’t mean... to...”

The Uchiha pulled out of him slowly, deliberately and turned him around to sink into the water; blinking, Kakashi felt his jaw soften in shock when the other looked at him with tear laced eyes, his lips trembling.

“I need you, Bakashi... don’t you see? Don’t you understand?”

“Obito...”

“You’ll stay with me, won’t you?”

“I...”

“I... I don’t think that I can, you know, keep my promises unless you’re there... he... he has plans for the future that...”

“I’ll do it” the silver haired jonin breathed, his shaky legs carefully pushing through the water to wrap around the crouching man’s waist, his arms circling shoulders to pull himself closer to the slightly older man; “I’ll stay with you...”

“Kakashi...”

Gasping, the straining member of the dark haired man prodding him gently, almost asking for entrance, the collar-wearer simply nodded and didn’t resist when the Uchiha manoeuvred himself to sit against the onsen pool’s walls before breaching him once more, their lips coming together in a mixture desperation, want and worry.

Tomorrow... he would have to end everything the last Hatake realised, his hands holding onto his former friend as though letting go would be his undoing.

‘There’s nothing more I can do... there’s no way to stop him other than stopping him’ he thought, his eye rolling when the slow, deep rhythm ignited his sweet-spot and Obito began to smother his neck, jaw-line and ear with feather soft kisses mixed with playful nips.

He had no other choice...

~*~*~*~

Scowling thunderously, his face aflame and his tight loins in a similar state, Tobirama snarled out a “fine!” and looked over his shoulder at the grinning fiend that’d trapped him; “you win! So won’t you please just take me already?” he snapped, his tone irate and hungry.

Chuckling, his fingers retracting after one, final stroke against his captive’s sweet-spot, Madara released the Senjuu altogether and watched, sharingan-spinning, as the other shuddered and turned around to face him.

“Bastard” the younger grumbled.

“Your bastard” the Uchiha corrected, his body floating back to the other, his eager hands grabbing for that pale flesh to bring him closer, their lips and tongues meeting in a fierce exchange as he pushed his prize into the pool’s wall whilst Tobirama, in a fit of retaliation, fisted his hands into that midnight-mane as he was finally, harshly penetrated by that thick, (sorely missed) shaft.

“Gah! M-Madara!”

Growling possessively, his forehead pressing into that of the crimson eyed man as they sought to catch their breath, the older allowed his hips to start a slow, deep roll in and almost out again, his own moan escaping when the Senjuu kicked his legs up and around his waist, keeping him in check, proving that the Niidaime wouldn’t be submitting thoroughly just yet.

“Ma-Madara... ahh!!”

The soon to be ruler of the world wouldn’t have it any other way... for now, at least...

Chapter Text

“Have all of those images been disposed of?”

Jiraiya hated being stuck in the Hokage office, his body made to occupy that damned chair as though he should have the job to go along with it...

“Hai” Yamato (Tenzo) replied, his tone matching the grimness of his expression; “it’s taken us over half the day and a better part of the evening, but, every one of them has been incinerated” he added, his feet (uncharacteristically) shuffling as they regarded each other. “Is Naruto going to be okay? I’ve never seen him look so...”

“He, Sakura and their peers are staying at the Nara’s Compound for the night” the older of the pair relayed, his hands rubbing tiredly at his face as, outside, the moon continued its slow ascent in the clear, starry sky; the last thing he wanted to think about was his Godson’s distraught expression and tear-clouded eyes. “Luckily Shikaku’s estate is big enough for them to camp together and talk all of this madness over without me or anyone else having to worry about their safety... Hell, nothing gets past those deer and the Council have drafted all ANBU, on-leave, retired or otherwise in to keep the borders secure” he added, the weight of everything lying much too heavily across his old shoulders.

“By the Sage...” he sighed, his whole form deflating; “when I get my hands on those rat-bastards, I’ll...”

“Do you think it will come to that?” the mokuton user murmured, his eerie gaze resettling on the many electric lights sparking across the Village like fire-flies; “would they really be stupid enough to assault Konoha directly?”

“It’s not their stupidity but their arrogance that concerns me” the Sannin admitted quietly, a bottle of Tsunade’s emergency sake resting near his tented fingers; “Obito was unhinged when he attacked the Mountain and, at the same time, his power, his abilities were unlike anything even Ma and Pa had seen” he admitted tiredly. “The fucker didn’t even need two hands for signing and his taijutsu? Maa~ I just wonder what could have happened to Yahiko and the gang in the time since I left them... Those kids, they’d known such terrible suffering and the last thing any of them wanted was to cause more...” he added through a grumble whilst pouring the other man a cup.

“That may not be our only problem” Yamato breathed, his body slumping into the chair that was offered; “Obito is an Uchiha, isn’t he?”

Blinking, the words sinking in, the Sannin felt his mouth go dry; “Sasuke...”

“My thoughts exactly” the taichou sighed, his fingers gratefully accepting the drink which was lightly pushed towards him; “with what’s happened to senpai... I’m not sure how Naruto or Sakura will react if he is fighting for Madara’s cause... never-mind how powerful he has become... I mean, if the rumours of his fight with the hachibi are even partially true... I know that you’ve been training with Naruto, but...”

“Heh, there’s no doubt that physically our boy is ready” Jiraiya cut through, a small grin touching his lips before reality quashed it; “da-na, seeing him again though... mm, he’s not in the right head-space for that and the girl, well...” he muttered, his eyes momentarily closing.

“We’ll just have to see what tomorrow brings and hope for the best...” he reasoned, his shrug half-hearted at best; “will you do me a favour and try contacting Tetsu no Kuni again? I’d ask one of my summons to find Tsuna-hime directly but, after Obito’s attack...”

“Consider it done, Jiraiya-sama” the former ROOT ninja said with a courteous bow, a swift swallow downing his sake; “I’ll return the moment there is any news...”

~*~*~*~

Shikaku regarded the small camp-fire which illuminated the sullen faces of his son and other young chuunin (and a genin-sennin, if that was even possible) who were slowly but surely making their way through the meal his Clan’s cooks had put together.

It made for a sad and sorry sight but, what could he do?

He’d seen Kakashi only days ago, had been almost close enough to touch him and yet...

“Oi, your face will stick like that if you’re not careful.”

Snorting, the Clan-head offered half a smile at newly arrived Chouza whilst Inoichi nodded at him; they hadn’t really spoken before the madness of today, the calamity that those awful images had caused effectively prompting their children and friends to finally (and drastically) be brought up to speed.

It had taken all three of them being present here, during the night, to persuade the Hyuuga into allowing both Hinata and Neji to attend and, the usually laid-back shinobi would only admit this to himself, he was grateful for his team-mate’s presence here.

He just hoped that he was being paranoid but, to assault the Village with such lewd images of one of their most famous son’s, well...

Something terrible was on the rise, he could fell it in his gut...

And his gut was never wrong...

What a drag...

~*~*~*~

“We never should have gone after the Akatsuki that day...”

They’d not talked about it, not ever wanted to discuss the events and yet, when seeing a tearful, distraught Sakura desperately trying to snag those damned photos out of the air whilst Naruto howled with barely suppressed rage, Ino couldn’t keep her peace anymore.

They were adults now, shinobi and, whatever the consequences, the pair of them deserved the truth.

“Wait, what... what do you mean?” the blonde asked, his uncharacteristic loss of appetite (Shikamaru’s mother had gone out of her way to make a ramen dish for him, too) and weary, saddened demeanour darkening further at her words.

“Everything that’s happened to Kaka-Sensei... those pictures and wherever he may be now... it’s all our fault...”

“Maa, Ino, you can’t...”

“It’s true” Chouji cut in, his own food virtually untouched; “we wanted... revenge, no, justice for Asuma-Sensei and he knew... Kaka-Sensei knew that we wouldn’t... wouldn’t stand a... a chance...”

“Wait” Sakura murmured, her face pale and green-eyes haunted; “are you... are you saying that...”

“He exchanged his life for ours” Shikamaru breathed; “Tsunade-sama was right, we were no match for them and my plan, my stupidity is what’s led to him being taken away and treated like some...”

“Don’t say it...” the pink haired kunoichi pleaded, her eyes screwing shut whilst her hands rattled the plates she held; “Gods... Gods I just... I just keep thinking about all of those silly, pathetic little attempts of ours to see his face and now...”

“From what I know of Kakashi-senpai... he would not want you to destroy yourselves with guilt or grief” Sai carefully said, his calm demeanour a placid, gentle wave which crested over all of them, reminding them of what was truly important here.

“If anything, he would want us to prepare and be ready for what is to come, to ensure that everything he’s sacrificed to help the Village matters... at the end of the day, he is a man legendary for many reasons but, for those of us in ANBU, he is most famous for completing impossible missions and never allowing his comrades to die” he added, a small, genuine smile perking his lips.

“So, you see, what has happened is no one’s fault other than those despicable rogues” he confirmed, his chopsticks moving to secure a portion of brew-succulent noodles.

“And we’ll be sure to make them pay dearly, won’t we?”

~*~*~*~

Morino Ibiki was rarely disgusted; as a man who’d seen and done things (and, in turn, had things shown and done to him) that most humans couldn’t bring themselves to think about, this really wasn’t surprising.

And yet...

“How many in total?”

“Forty-two, sir” one of his hardier jonin staff informed, the last image having been placed upon the table before him, the glossy detail of it shimmering under the glare of the interrogation lights. “We believe that this is the correct order in terms of chronology and our best sealing-team have removed that strange cloning jutsu from them, too.”

“Good” he muttered, his eyes narrowed; “let’s begin the inspection then... remember, Hatake-san is ANBU trained and so any hand or finger gestures could be significant” he reminded grimly, his trench coat skirting out as he approached the table.

With nods and resolved grunts, the three specialists he’d hand-picked (for their keen eyes and discretion, not that discretion mattered when virtually every man, woman and child had seen the pictures they were studying) took to their sides of the wide, stainless-steel work-surface.

‘To degrade a man of Kakashi’s skill-set like this’ he thought, his gloved hand reaching out to grab number twenty-three; ‘these Akatsuki... just how powerful can a group of S-Class nukenin be? What could doing this to a jonin with no family, no political connections and no social-standing aside from his career possible mean? What motives could they have? It surely can’t be something as base as the obvious’ he pondered, his gaze zeroing in on every detail.

A woodland setting with larch trees, two shadow clones (one of their techniques, adding insult to injury) and more than likely a third holding the camera. The last Hatake was in the centre of the shot with fabric he assumed to be a thick, rich obi-sash artistically looped around his arms to shackle him into the low-hung branches. The clones were sewing flowers (fucking flowers) into the soften spikes of hair framing a lightly blushing, mask-less (he could vaguely remember joking with the man about keeping that damned thing covered unless your ANBU brief reads seduce) face. His expression was clearly uncomfortable, embarrassed, ashamed and aroused; with the fiend identified only as Hidan crouched down in front of him, a lewd grin spread across his face as he stared into the camera, was it any wonder that Kakashi looked that way.

The bastard seemed pretty talented at giving hand-jobs...

“Ibiki-san, an urgent message has just come through from Tetsu no Kuni...”

Blinking, the Head of the TI Division turned to view Tori as she dropped from the rafters to crouch before him.

“Report.”

“The whole territory has been overrun by a white, gelatinous-mass... they’ve been trying to get messages out all day but all forms of transport, including summons, technology and jonin themselves have been unable to break free until just now” she said, her head bowing. “We only know any of this thanks to Rai no Kuni making contact through the telephone exchange...”

“Damn-it! I knew that holding the summit in such an isolated Country wouldn’t end well” the hulking shinobi ground out; “do we know of Tsunade-sama’s status?”

“Only that she and the other Kage are alive but still trapped... the Raikage has called for any and all capable ninja of his Lands to converge on Tetsu as soon as possible to assist them and the samurai in their escape but...”

“Hmm?”

“Sir, the caller said that the mass was consuming people... it may take more men then what...”

“Well, that can’t be helped just now” the Morino Clan-Head grunted, his brows furrowed; “the Akatsuki are at our door and the hachibi is still M.I.A... therefore every one of our capable ninja must remain in the Village... I am certain that the Hokage would feel the same” he said with a nod, his frown deepening. “Has Jiraiya been informed?”

“Hai” the slender, black-clad figure stated through another bow; “the Council have asked for both of you to attend an emergency meeting...”

“I see” he sighed, his gaze shifting back to his team; “men, you know your jobs, I want a full report on any viable leads for when I return, understood?”

“Sir, yes sir.”

“Good” he breathed, his fingers deftly returning number twenty-three to lie amongst the rest of its kind; “stay alert and be vigilant... I am through with nasty surprises and will not be pleased if any information Hatake-san could have granted us goes unheeded” he warned, his booted feet stomping in the wake of Tori’s silent departure.

What a damned, blasted night; he was almost looking forward to the dawn...

Chapter Text

They’d been allowed a few hours respite; the cells of both Zetsu and (Tobirama had been furious to find) Senjuu Hashirama meant that neither Obito nor Madara needed to sleep.

However, in the near deathly quiet of the small room they’d been packed into, both of the pale haired shinobi had very much struggled to rest regardless of the plush futon and mounds of blankets which had been piled atop and around them.

Perhaps the Uchiha meant to melt them into submission...

“Did you see the kimono when he returned you here?”

They’d been left alone again, it seemed; not that he minded the other man’s silence, the noise in his own head was maddening enough without having to make conversation, after all.

“No” he breathed, his naked body still trembling slightly despite the mass of quilts; “no... I... he didn’t...”

“He has hurt you... more than physically, more than usual” the slightly older male murmured, their bodies resting back to back in the pitch-black darkness of their sealed off cell (another, slightly larger pantry, perhaps). “I do not mean to pry, but were you and he ever known to each other before...”

“No” he answered quietly. “We were children... thirteen, younger, and at the time... there was a kunoichi in our number... I... well, I’m just her replacement...” he murmured, a distant part of him wondering why, exactly, that hurt so much.

“When I kill him... when he dies, that’ll be everything I had... everything that has ever mattered to me gone...”

“So... you intend to take your own life, as well?”

Heh... well, the Niidaime was considered a genius for a reason, he supposed.

“It’s no great loss” he admitted with a slight shrug; “and more than worth it if I’m successful... not that it’s something I can actively plan for... Madara he, I believe that he’s put me under a form of genjutsu, a suicide fail-safe of some kind...”

“I see” Tobirama cut in, his brows furrowed at the thought of this young-man, his kin no less, being so alone, feeling so dejected that death was a better alternative to living; “however, speaking as a man who has made that ultimate sacrifice, I can admire your resolve but you’re foolish to think so lowly of yourself” he added, his tone softer.

Where were his family? The Hatake Clan had joined the Village under Hashirama’s rule, they were a Pack to rival the Inuzuka and their number had stretched beyond that of the Hyuuga at one stage; beside the younger man’s patriarchal branch, what of the maternal?

Were there truly no more Senjuu beyond Tsunade? What of the cousins who stayed within Konohagakure no Sato? Could they have all succumbed?

Had his older-brother’s dream of peace really been for naught?

No... no, he couldn’t afford to think that way...

“There are still many things that I wish to speak with you about” he admitted, his crimson eyes narrowing at the approach of the Uchiha; “however, just know that whatever your choices, you will have my support... regardless of what is to come...”

“Mm, is the dawn here so quickly?” the last Hatake sighed, his exhausted body sinking into the futon as the sound of footsteps reached him.

“Tobirama-sama, if I never see you again...”

“We share the will of fire, Kakashi-kun... it’s what binds us, gives us strength and promises our reunion” the other soothed, the door to the pantry opening.

“Don’t ever forget that...”

~*~*~*~

Yawning tiredly, his hands scrubbing at sleep-heavy eyes, Naruto sluggishly poked his head out of the tent he’d been sharing with an eerily silent Sai and loudly snoring Kiba; bobble-topped night-cap jostling, the youngest Uzumaki peered out into the dawn-light, his awareness shifting from zero to alert when he realised what had woken him.

“W-what? K-Kaka-sensei... is... is it really...”

“Shh...” the silver-haired shinobi breathed, his gloved right hand gesturing at the other tents, his singular eye smiling characteristically as he stood, jonin-uniform perfect, mask in place, Icha-Icha-Tactics out and open whilst sandaled feet rested lightly on the Nara Estate’s lush lawn. “You don’t want to wake them up this early, do you?”

“B-but... but sensei you, where have you...”

“I’ve been on a special mission, didn’t Tsunade-sama tell you?” the older asked, his tone calm and teased by a light chuckle. “Un, and right now, I need your help to finish it if, you know, you’re done hugging your pillow and kissing it as though you’re making out with Sakura-chan?” he added, his chuckle a touch lighter when the blonde gawped at him and inch-wormed out of the tent (his sleeping bag still firmly in place).

“Maa~ Kaka-sensei~ not so loud~” the boy whined through a poorly constructed stage-whisper; “j-just... just give me a second... I’m... I’m not dressed and you... I can’t believe that you’re here... do you have any idea how worried we’ve been? Damn-it... Don’t you know that everyone thinks you’re dead? Da-na, I’ve been going out of my mind...”

“Aww, I’m flattered that you care so much, Naruto” the other admitted, his steel-grey eye soft as they regarded each other. “Come on, I think I owe you breakfast and an explanation, you know, before everyone else starts getting in on the action” he said softly, his fingers deftly closing the book as he approached the young man and crouched down before him. “I’m sorry if I worried you but part of being a shinobi is having to keep secrets, even from your most precious people” he added, his head gesturing to the roof-tops; “you can henge some day-time clothes for now, right?”

~*~*~*~

Staring, his eyes the size of saucers, Tenzo didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or scream at the figure crouched on the diminutive windowsill that pocked out of his bedroom’s only window.

“S-senpai?!”

“Yo~ Tenzo... you look like you’ve seen a ghost” the silver-haired ninja offered, the fingers he’d used to tap the glass now offering a salute; “I’ve just come back with Tsunade-sama” he explained his head gesturing behind him. “We’re needed in her Office, so...”

“D-demo... hold on... wait... just wait a second!” the younger called, his covers thrown to the side as he dashed to the window; at his approach, the Hatake (jonin-uniform flawlessly presented, pose lazily characteristic, mannerisms perfect) offered him an eye smile before leaping away.

“Gah! Damn it! Senpai!” he seethed, his expression a strange mix of baleful and relieved as he stared down at the man standing upon the still dawn-deserted streets; “shit... how can he be... shit, shit...” he cursed, his body rushing back to his wardrobe to start pulling out various pieces of clothing and weaponry.

Something didn’t feel right about this but, damn-it, just staying in his room wasn’t going to solve anything...

Then, equipment hidden away and resolve firmly in place, the Village’s only mokuton user sucked in a breath before turning back to the window.

Whatever the hell was happening, he was going to get to the bottom of it...

~*~*~*~

“Jiraiya-sama?”

Snorting awake, his body almost rolling off the couch within the Hokage’s Office, the Toad Sage jerked into a sitting position, an apology ready to spill from his lips before, to his bleary amazement, Tori bowed at him, a claw-gloved hand moving to pull the porcelain mask away.

“No... no, it can’t be... you’re...”

“It’s good to see you again, sensei” Konan greeted, her full lips offering the barest of smiles; “have you been well?”

“Ha! Isn’t that what I should be asking you?!” the Sannin all but spat, his sandaled feet touching the floor to stride closer to the woman a girl he’d once taught had become. “Konan, angel, please don’t tell me that you’re working for the Akatsuki! I didn’t spend so much time with you and the boys for you to throw it all away on some lunatic and his crazy schemes...”

“Many things changed for us when you returned to your homeland, Sensei... although, I must admit that I can see the appeal” she offered, her smile dropping altogether; “Yahiko wishes to speak with you...”

“Tch, then where the hell is he?”

“You know that we can’t breach the seals which protect this place” the paper-manipulator replied, a few sheets wafting across her borrowed persona; “I am merely a clone sent to fetch you, if you want the opportunity to talk as opposed to the alternative” she added, her amber eyes narrowing slightly.

“The alternative? Heh, so I am right in thinking that the three of you are going to attack Konoha, and on his orders no less?” the older of the pair snorted, a look of distaste marring his lips and peppering his words. “Tell me, did Nagato willingly hand over his rinnengan, or...”

“If you’re referring to Madara-sama’s dojutsu, then you’re wrong to think that he got that from anyone other than himself” she replied, her tone and the furrowing of sculpted, petrol-blue brows suggesting that she’d offense to the accusation. “Will you come with me Sensei? Is the battlefield to be our true reunion?”

Sighing, stretching and regarding the paper-doll with a look torn between concern and suspicion, the Sannin grunted out a “fine, lead the way, then...”

~*~*~*~

“Maa... everything’s quiet... too quiet” Suigetsu murmured, his eyes roaming across the dosing Village with a frown, one of his sharpened, angular teeth poking out from between his lips.

“It’s the genjutsu” Karin murmured, her uneasy form fidgeting beside her team-mate as they looked down at the slumbering Village from atop the Hokage monument. “Didn’t you feel that strange chakra Konan-san was weaving onto those photographs? Anyone who touched one won’t wake up unless they’re prompted by that long-haired guy” she added quietly, her worried, cherry gaze briefly flitting to Sasuke’s stoic figure. “Just who is he, anyway?”

“Pshh, like I know anymore than you do” the former Kiri-nin snorted, his crossed arms jostling as the weight of his sword failed to ground him. “But, whoever he is, I get the feeling that all of this is his show” he shrugged through a sniff, his gaze momentarily resting on Jugo as he continued to sit at the cliff’s edge, his legs hanging over the sides. “Heh, must be weird for him to see a Village, huh?”

“Um, yeah, I guess” the kunoichi blinked, her frown softening whilst she too cast her eyes across the sprawling town so eloquently (suggested by its name) hidden in the leaves of numerous, green-lush trees. “Not that it’ll be there too much longer, will it? Not that it matters, it’s not like I care, or anything, you know? So what if a bunch of civilians are going to get caught up in this mess, right? Hell, none of them would probably care about us or the shit that we...”

“Karin...”

Head snapping towards her beloved, the joy she felt at the sound of her name swiftly dissipated when the raven-haired boy regarded her with that blank, menacing expression, the one that promised retribution should his urge for silence be ignored.

Closing her mouth, her cheeks pinking at the non-verbal scolding, the last female Uzumaki turned back to regarding the Uchiha’s former home.

Any minute now, she knew, this gentle peace would be gone and bloody-chaos would reign instead...

~*~*~*~

Madara, full-battle regalia in place, slipped into the Hokage’s chair (t’was much too modern and thread-bare for the seat of a world-ruling shogun) with a bemused sigh, the dull-crimson of his favourite armour clacking as he found a more comfortable position.

Hmm, what a view...

“Neh-neh, Madara-sama, my brothers are checking in...”

Elegantly spinning the seat around from the dawn tinted windows, the Uchiha patriarch watched as Zetsu’s chief clone sprouted up from the ground, its cactus like protrusions cracking further open as its black and white head nodded at him.

“Status?”

“Team Taka are atop the monument and awaiting your signal” it began, its grin wide and sharp. “Konan-san is leading the Sennin Jiraiya towards Pein-sama’s ambush within the Forest of Death and Obito is bringing the kyuubi to the extraction point whilst my secondary self and the mokuton user are nearly here” it added pleasantly. “The genjutsu is still in place and, in further thanks to Konan-san, all of the strongest jonin within the Village have been corralled and subdued, along with the Council, in the conference hall downstairs.”

“And Tobirama?”

“Still soaking in the onsen... maa~ee, or should that be sulking?”

Grinning, his rinnengan and eternal mangekyo swirling in time, Madara leaned back in the chair and allowed a laugh to bubble up and out of him, his body smoothly gliding back to look out and over the place he was to destroy and rebuild, the place where Hashirama’s dream had failed and his future would become a reality.

“Good, good... Tell your original to be ready” he chuckled; “now that Kisame has finished feeding the hachibi into the statue, we should see our vision realised today...”

~*~*~*~

Obito may have only met with Shisui a handful of times over the years (the younger man had been a prodigy and a favourite of Fugaku which, of course, had meant that they hadn’t swam in the same circles) but he had to admit, the younger man’s sharingan was exceptional.

“Naa~ Kaka-sensei~ how come we aren’t going to the restaurant district?”

It was certainly strong enough to keep his multiple illusions so solid that the kyuubi had no clue about the actually deserted streets and snoring citizens; Konan’s ability to infect paper which could and would in turn infect every person who touched said paper (and went on to touch other people) was a an interesting and infinitely useful quirk.

Perhaps he’d persuade Madara into giving her and her lovers (once Yahiko was properly resurrected) higher positions of power than merely ruling Ame and parts of Rai no Kuni...

“Maa~ What are you complaining about? I was planning on making you something...”

“Honto-ni?! Yaa-taa! Kaka-sensei’s cooking is almost as good as Ichiraku Ramen!” the blonde chirped, his whole form lifting off the ground as he fist-bumped the air; “ano-sa, ano-sa, what are you going to make me, sensei? Mmm... neh, now I feel kind’a bad that we didn’t invite Sakura-chan... she was really worried about you too, you know?”

“Hm? Ah, well, we’ll treat her later, alright?” he tried, his Kakashi disguise a strange but comforting weight across his body; “you’re the one who Tsunade trusts the most to complete this mission with me and, I thought, why not catch up a little beforehand, na? I was quite surprised that the first thing out of your mouth wasn’t at all related to my face...”

“O-oh? Oh, ah, d’you mean that those photos were...”

“Real? Why, of course they are” the Uchiha in Hatake’s clothing chuckled; “haven’t you always accused me of being a pervert in the past, mm?”

“A-h... hah... ah, ha...” the younger man deadpanned, a sweat-drop beading at his temple; “maa~aa, Kaka-sensei... I just didn’t realise that you were, you know...”

“Gay?”

“Ahahah... hee, yeah, there’s that... demo...” he said, his sheepish tone darkening a little; “those men, the Akatsuki, they’re the ones who killed Asuma-sensei... and in most of those pictures you looked as though they were really hurting you...”

“Un...” Kakashi nodded, his long legs striding the kyuubi closer to the Village’s gates; even if the boy was focusing on his surroundings, this shouldn’t have been a concern for the jonin he was impersonating, predictably, lived on the outskirts of Konoha. “I had to play-act in order to gain their trust, you know, to get close to them... it’s... it’s a skill-set you develop when you end up in ANBU... da-na, you don’t have to worry though” he continued, his eye curving into a smile. “They died an excruciating death for what they did...”

“Oh, right, but, ugh... those photos... That was... Kaka-sensei... they were...”

“Heh, sometimes I forget just how young and innocent you are... na, you’re certainly a lot more grown up than the first time we met, though...”

“Ha! You think so?” the teen preened, his chest puffing even through the henge’d orange and black uniform he was known for wearing; “neh, I guess I was pretty annoying back in the ol’days, huh? Even Ero Sennin thinks I’ve matured a lot since then...”

“Hmm?” Obito cut in, his sandaled feet stopping a few yards away from the opened gates (and the many illusionary people milling in and around it); “ah, I didn’t mean when I became your sensei, Naruto” he breathed, that eye smile cracking open to view the boy (his henge concealed sharingan, Shisui’s legacy, flashing).

“Not that anyone other than the two of us know this... but I was the first person to hold you when you were born...” he murmured, a burst of chakra and a whirl of tomoe making his target stiffen on the spot.

“Hn... and that’s why I’ll make what has to be done quick...”

~*~*~*~

Kakashi paced like a dog awaiting its master’s return, his bare-feet occasionally catching on the flecks of stone thanks to the encroaching darkness that the few candles Obito had dotted about the chamber were failing to subdue.

“Hnn-hnn-hnn, neh, Hatake-san, you seem quite highly strung” Hoshigake Kisame commented from where he sat, quite comfortably, atop the corpse of Killer Bee, his shark’s grin and wild eyes made all the more menacing by the flickering of the flames.

“Bakashi is so kawaii when he worries” Zetsu added from its spot upon the ceiling, its golden eyes wide and focused on the Konoha jonin who was all but wearing a strip across the floor before the ten-tails (currently inert) statue. “You know what would make you feel better, mm? Sitting down... Umm... unless you’re too sore, neh?”

Ignoring the shared chuckles of the Akatsuki members, Kakashi continued to process everything he knew whilst (his hands secreted away under the sleeves of the kimono) he counted and re-counted the four senbon he’d freed from their capsule to lace into the fabric for easier access.

“Is it true that you finally learned about copulation with him, you plant-devil? Or was that twisted-face clone of yours just bragging about nonsense again?”

“Ooh... no, no it’s true, all very much true... Umm-hmm, it was a, mm, rewarding experience...”

Right now, Obito was coercing Naruto into following him whilst Madara prepared to flatten his home as Pein dealt with Jiraiya... and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it...

“Hnn-hnn-hnn, well, good for you... nnnhhhh, and to think I was going to strike that grin off of your face with samehada after you tried propositioning my mate” the Kiri nukenin admitted, his fingers absentmindedly playing with his fallen enemies sunglasses. “You’ll be sure to leave Itachi alone later, right?”

What the fuck was he meant to do with four senbon, a near immortal mass-monster, a shark-man and the second most powerful Uchiha? By the gods! Obito (that absolute prick) had brought him here to assist with the breaking of their sensei’s seal; why, oh why had Kushina and Minato insisted on using his DNA as the third chakra code needed to secure the kyuubi? And how the actual hell had his former team-mate known? Only the Namikaze’s, the chief medic and the seal-specialists had been privy to that information; the third chakra signature was a failsafe and was activated thanks to just a few drops of his blood pre-mixed into the sacred-ink.

And now, if (somehow) the Uchiha knew the original procedure used and could unlock it successfully, then the nine-tails would be kept completely subdued, asleep and tame during the transfer from the blonde into the statue.

All the raven-haired menace needed was his fucking presence here and a blasted hand-sign...

Shit... How hadn’t he made this connection sooner? Of course that was the reason he was still alive!

Kami-sama-damn-it! He thought his role of securing Naruto would have seen him acting under a genjutsu to catch him or something equally mundane and potentially breakable; perhaps Obito wasn’t underestimating him as drastically as he thought (or expected, hoped)...

“Later? What do you mean by that?” Zetsu asked, its head drooping to regard Kisame specifically; “I can’t enter the infinite tsukuyomi... umm, and come to think of it, I’m not sure that the people of Konohagakure no Sato will be enough to birth the tree and maintain it until the moon-rises” it sighed, its tone a little concerned now. “Maa-ee, I hope that Madara-sama knows what he’s doing...”

“So-da, so-da-na” Kisame soothed (in an attempt to cover up his exhaustion brought on blunder), his battle tarnished body the picture of weary but relaxed; “it’ll all be fine... maa, we haven’t come this far so soon and so successfully for it not to work out now, have we?”

“Hai-hai” Zetsu returned, its face considering; “I suppose...”

Sensing an opportunity (to set the cat amongst the pigeons if nothing else), the last Hatake stopped his pacing, turned and craned his neck to look up at the ichors fiend, a plan forming in his mind; “you’re right to be suspicious” he called, his words causing the Kiri-nin to scowl thunderously.

“The Uchiha plan on betraying you...”

~*~*~*~

Dropping the boy with one well-placed punch, the Zetsu clone questioning him and babbling about ‘Bakashi’s accusations’ causing his temper to sky-rocket, Obito ground out an angry “ignore him” before scooping the young Uzumaki up and into his arms before slinging him over his shoulder. “And for Gods’ sake, don’t bother Madara-sama with your stupidity! He’s preparing to summon the ten-tails into Konoha and cannot be disturbed by your childish tendency to listen to the ridiculous babblings of a dog still being trained!” he added nastily.

“But...”

“I’m on my way there now... the tree will be restored today... you have that Tenzo with you now, don’t you?”

Humming and nodding its malformed head, its expression still dubious, the mostly white ichors being cut him a sly, almost menacing look before descending into the ground.

And speaking of things going into the ground...

With a snarl (mostly directed at himself; he knew he should have put Kakashi under a genjutsu but who’d have thought that he’d try to gain Zetsu’s loyalty of all things?), the Uchiha hopped, skipped and jumped through kamui to arrive at the gedo mazo’s location, his chakra boiling in the wake of his rage.

“Kisame” he barked, a rough gesture throwing Naruto’s unconscious body in the older man’s direction; “you know what to do...”

“No!” the last Hatake all but howled, his hands still hidden within kimono-sleeves; “Hoshigaki! Don’t do it! This is not what Itachi would wan-nnnggghhhh!!”

“It didn’t have to be this way, you know” Obito breathed, his tone dark and menacing as, the younger man’s neck firmly secured, he started the drag the kimono wearer towards his student’s limp form. “I was going to let you talk him through what was going to happen and promise the both of you that he and his parents would soon be back together, alive, healthy and able to live the family life they’d always dreamed of” he added, his sharingan glowing angrily.

“Maybe they’ll all stay dead now, thanks to you...”

“O-Obi...”

“What the fuck did you think you were doing?!” he hissed, his grip loosening to throw the last Hatake to the floor, his attention then refocusing on a strangely silent Zetsu who continued to loom above them. “Oi, you’re not really considering what he’s told you, right?” he asked, part of his senses focusing on Kisame stripping the boy down to the waist as Kakashi (still chakra bound and wheezing) sat up.

“You know that Madara-sama would never... ah! What the fuck?!”

“Yah! You sneaky little...”

Spinning on his heels, his fingers tugging two bloody tipped senbon from his neck with a grimace, Obito felt his knees buckle even as the former Kiri-nin hit the ground and started spluttering; between the pair, his body panting, the kimono-clad jonin looked at him, a trembling hand resting protectively over the peacefully breathing Uzumaki’s seal.

“You...”

“For what... it’s worth... I am sorry” Kakashi breathed, the sound of Kisame struggling becoming progressively louder as Genma’s poison did its job; “you... you really left me with... no choice” he reasoned, their eyes locking as the Uchiha grabbed at his heart.

“I... I hope that, when we meet in the after-life... that we can... maybe... start things over, you know?” he said, a small, tired smile touching his lips.

“Tell Rin... that I’m sorry, too... okay?”

Chapter Text

Watching Obito collapse into the ground, its head tilting quizzically, Zetsu then turned his attention to Kisame before swinging back to the silver-haired jonin and the unconscious kyuubi.

“Huh” it stated, its button eyes widening a fraction; “is this what they call, playing possum?”

Blinking up at the creature, his attempts to rouse Naruto proving futile, Kakashi felt the tidal wave of shock tinged horror rise up and over him even before the Uchiha’s laughter filled the emptiness of the candle lit room, his body sitting up even as the former Kiri-nin grunted and stretched across the ground.

“O-ohohoo! The look on your face!” the raven-haired ninja called as he sat up, his puncture wounds already healed as they regarded each other; “Bakashi! How could I have not noticed Genma’s little parting gift, umm? I had Madara-sama’s rinnengen for fuck’s sake! Is the chakra-depletion affecting your brain so much that you’ve forgotten the basics? I’ve had ample time to swap them with something harmless! Ha! I can’t believe that you thought that this could actually work! And, man-oh-man, what a time to try it! What the hell would you have done next? The kid’s under a genjutsu and you’re stuck in a fucking cave!”

Letting out a shaky breath, the laughter bouncing between the Akatsuki almost out-shining the thundering of misfired adrenaline ricocheting around his ears, the last Hatake tried his best to focus on the Uzumaki’s sleeping face whilst Kisame joked at the ‘tearful good-bye’ he’d just witnessed.

It was all over for him, then...

And it was over for Naruto, too; he was already touching the seal, he didn’t know why, probably just another way in which one or both Uchiha had used him.

He’d been such a fool, such a damned, stupid fool...

“No, seriously Bakashi, what were you thinking?”

He took in a breath, released it and struggled to focus on anything other than the crippling ache in his chest and sharp, stabbing pain behind his eyes.

“That we’d all be dead, and that would be the end of it” he heard himself say, his voice raspy and dull; “that you, me and Rin could go on together and forget about what’s happened... and that I could forgive you for this, for everything because I’d be the one to stop you... But I suppose even that was stupid, wasn’t it? Even without the ten-tails, Madara is probably strong enough to do whatever the hell he wants... but I might have given someone else a chance, there might have been someone out there who could oppose him in time” he added, his eye never once leaving the blonde’s peaceful expression.

How ironic that the young man should look so calm in these few minutes before all hell broke loose.

“Neh, Hatake-san, I think that you’ve got a whole bunch of shit backwards” the Kisame chuckled, his body rocking back up on to Bee’s lukewarm corpse with a laborious sigh. “Da-na, you’re the bad-guy here...”

“Don’t you talk to me” Kakashi close to spat. “I meant what I said before, Itachi would not want this, this mindless slaughter of people... how could you just go along with that when you know what slaying his Clan must have done to him?” he asked, a low, raspy croak leaving him, the shock of it causing him to blink.

“Maa-ee, Kisame, I wouldn’t waste your breath” Obito stated, his tone slathered with exasperation as he stood and brushed the dust off of the purple, ceremonial robes Madara-sama had picked out for him, a crooked smile flitting the shark-man’s way (in hopes of quelling his rising ire). “And besides, he’s played his part, so we should have no trouble extracting the kyuubi...”

“Can you really kill Sensei’s son, master?” the silver haired shinobi (ha, now wasn’t that a laugh?) hissed, his steel-grey eye clouded with despair and rage; “can you really stoop that low?”

Letting out a laugh, his body leisurely walking the short distance to his clearly distraught lover, the smile he offered far too toothy to be kind, the Uchiha peered down at him empirically; “oh Bakashi, haven’t you figured it out yet?” he asked, his tone the epitome of patronising.

“I am going to kill Naruto and, I guess it’s only right that you know, the deaths of both Minato and Kushina were also brought about by me...”

“No...”

“Oh yes, I’m afraid it’s true, every word of it” Obito admitted, the pallor of his former team-mate’s skin paling to a sickened shade of spoiled milk. “I snuck into the Village, watched you put fresh lilies on Rin’s grave, bided my time until Kushina’d finally birthed the kid and then, when her bond with the fox was at its weakest, I swooped in, stole it and set it free in Konoha” he stated, his smile sinking into something truly terrible.

“They deserved it, after all, those self-righteous hypocrites sacrificing orphaned children to their wars... nothing changed when Minato became Hokage and for you, for Rin, it only got worse... I was going to cleanse the whole-damned place, burn it to the ground but, well, who’d have thought that Sensei would use that technique, huh?” he asked, his tone light, conversational.

“However, as you’re about to see, there is no one to stop me... ha, us, this time” he continued, his sharingan spinning into deadly patterns.

“And as punishment for your little stunt today, I’m making sure that you have a front-row-seat...”

~*~*~*~

Drawing the chakra necessary to summon the ten-tails was, he’d admit, almost as boring as it was taxing; however, at least securing the mokuton user had been a simple enough matter...

“L-let me... go... I won’t... let you...”

“Ooohhhh... this one is a fighter” Zetsu’s clone chortled whilst it continued to wrap and bond the struggling man; “neh-neh, Bakashi-senpai would be so proud of you...”

“D-don’t you... dare... talk about... my senpai!” Tenzo half-snarled, half-yelped, his chakra diminishing whilst he continued to struggle and wrench against the ichors playfully toying with and ensconcing him; “where is... he? What... what have you done... to him?!”

Sighing, his eyes rolling at the bickering going on behind him (he’d let the fool enjoy taunting and playing with the only inheritor of Hashirama’s legacy for now, he supposed; it seemed to be placating Kaguya’s third child and keeping it distracted, at present, would keep upcoming events complication free), Madara allowed his smile to widen.

The stage was set and he could perform the summoning jutsu as soon as...

“Oh! Our first says that it’s ready! It’s time!” Zetsu chattered, its smile wide and ghastly whilst it turned to nod energetically at the raven-haired man who was still leisurely, demurely reclining in the Hokage’s chair.

Chuckling, the oldest Uchiha re-cast a pitiless gaze upon the still slumbering Village; “excellent” he purred, his body positively humming with a mixture of excitement and blood-lust.

“Alert Sasuke and do tell the boy to enjoy himself” he continued, his tone light with laughter; “today, we’ll flatten this retched place, its people and its grim past... yes, and from the burning cinders a new, better Konohagakure no Sato shall rise and we Uchiha will stand at its apex, our gaze overseeing everyone and everything else...”

~*~*~*~

Jiraiya hissed, his face planting into the mud when a heavy, booted foot continued to press into the back of his neck forced him to remain submissive; it wasn’t the crushing stomp of someone who wished him dead, however but he was effectively pinned into the floor, his limbs punctured by strange, chakra draining rods of black.

Well, shit...

If only he’d called on Ma, Pa or Gamabunta and his sons...

“There’s really no need to struggle, Sensei.”

Scowling, his left eye narrowing through the needles of ivory hair scattering across his face, the Toad Sage tried his best to glare at Yahiko who was not Yahiko but Nagato... all of the orange haired corpses were.

“S-stop this-s...”

“It’s too late to stop it” the rinnengan wielder stated blankly, his face as neutral as his tone; “not that I would even if it were possible” he murmured, the other puppets and Konan closing in. “The world you promised us is close at hand, Sensei, and Madara-sama isn’t only going to revive Yahiko, but he’s letting us keep you alive, too” he promised, a hint of a smile pricking those piercing studied lips.

“If you can bring yourself to behave, that is...”

~*~*~*~

He hadn’t screamed; it was just like the day he’d found his father’s body curled into a pool of rapidly cooling blood...

“Madara-sama has been informed.... shall we go?”

He’d sat, just like that day, in stony, absent-minded silence as Naruto’s body (for all the world a boy peacefully dreaming) floated in a miasma of dully-luminous chakra, his life essence sinking into the creaking, groaning monstrosity that shook and trembled within the caves crumbling walls.

“Kisame, are you ready?”

He was dead, Naruto was dead because of him, them, all of them...

“Naa~ that water was just enough to wash most of the dirt off... neh... I don’t look as fancy as you do Obito... did Madara-sama pick out any pretty clothes for me to wear?”

It was almost too much to bear...

“Maa~ee~Kisame-san, you can have this” Zetsu called, its grey on black form shedding the red-cloud clotted cloak like so much dead skin; “it’s relatively new and quite lovely” it added pleasantly, because they were all having such a wonderful time, weren’t they?

If he could, Kakashi would have been sick; he’d have aimed for their stylish garb, of course...

“Great, come on then...”

Naruto’s greyed body dropped, unceremoniously, to the ground with a thud that churned his empty stomach and twisted what was left of his heart.

“Up.”

“Fuck off” he heard himself distantly say, his pupil narrowed and dull; he couldn’t look away from those whiskered cheeks and the soft, lax eyelids which had closed over the sparkling azure that shone like his father’s and glinted like his mother's.

When Obito roughly grabbed a fistful of his hair (as he’d done before), the last Hatake still made no sound, made no move and (he was strangely aware enough to note) felt nothing as he was pulled up.

“You’re being ridiculous” the Uchiha accused, his sharingan narrowed when, regardless of giving his former team-mate a shake, the silver haired beauty continued to stare listlessly at the body; “hey, hey! You’re embarrassing yourself, stand up!”

Kakashi wouldn’t even if he could; what was the point?

“Hey! Look at me, look at me!”

He couldn’t...

“Maa~ can your lovers quarrel wait?” Zetsu called, the statue besides them thrumming expectantly; “I can almost hear Mama’s sweet voice calling me” it added through a sigh, its golden gaze widening with pleasure.

“Tch, fine...” Obito breathed, his hand releasing the slightly younger man’s silvery hair; like a wounded dove, the jonin fell to the floor, the ruined fabric of his kimono flaring about him like a cascade of freshly plucked feathers.

“On to Konoha and a new day...”

Chapter Text

Karin could not see the huge, roiling mass of chakra that was making her teeth chatter but she could feel it...

“Umm? Na, Karin, you okay? You look...”

“No, no there’s something... I’ve never felt...” she breathed, her arms hugging her middle in the characteristic way she did when panic started to take hold. “T-that guy... he’s... he’s getting ready to...”

“Obito is coming” the strange, white on black creature announced, its words (almost as though summoning the devil) heralding the second oldest Uchiha’s arrival; his face, still creased with the remnants of his rage as his companions swirled out to either stand or sit beside him, never once turned away from the sitter.

“H-hey! It’s...”

“Don’t look at him, don’t talk to him and don’t touch him” the raven-haired Akatsuki founder snapped, his sharingan eyes spinning nastily as the pair of previously concerned teens blinked from the dust-coated, shoulder slumped form whose bowed head hung in solemn, dejected defeat to the livid kamui user.

“He’s in time-out.”

Scowling, his sharp teeth close to bleeding his lip, Suigetsu took a step forward, his angry gaze shifting from the man (Sasuke’s former sensei, no less) to the scarred male before sliding it dangerously towards his leader. “Oi! How can you just stand there and let this happen? This guy helped raise you, he taught you the chidori, didn’t he...”

“It’s short-sighted and stupid to focus on the past” was the youngest Uchiha’s reply, his tone cold and his gaze anywhere but on the last Hatake; “Zetsu says it’s time” he directed at his cousin. “When will he...”

“No, no look, I’m sorry, but that just isn’t good enough” the Kiri-nin cut in, his right hand going to secure his sword’s handle, an action that had Kisame smirking; “Sasuke, if you can be okay with that fucker being a dick to him, then how do we know you’ll not suddenly turn on us, ah? Ano... no, wait, that’s my real point here, either” he continued, his expression furious. “When you asked me to join you, you promised me the training and the glory I deserved, you promised to lead me but this? I did not sign up for beating up and breaking down good-people! That’s just the kind of shit that led to my brother dying, to Karin’s mother dying and you know exactly what the fuck happened to Jugo...”

“Enough” Obito snapped, his frown deepening; “know your place, boy, you are only here thanks to Sasuke’s intervention when your true place is down there or somewhere worse” he reminded, his lips finally tilting upwards.

“Heh, not that there’ll be too many place worse than here by the time we’re done...”

“What?” Karin breathed, her cherry eyes shrinking in horror; “no, no you don’t mean that you’re going to unleash all of that chakra I can sense building?” she asked, her whole form trembling thanks to the smirks her Akatsuki compatriots greeted the fears she’d voiced with. “B-but... everyone’s asleep, there are, there must be thousands of innocent people down there! They can’t defend themselves or even get away from...”

“Exactly” Sasuke called, his gaze callously pleased; “Konoha and all of its people will burn today...”

“What?!”

“That’s fucking genocide!” Suigetsu snarled, his sword brandished whilst Kisame, his laughter rumbling like an on-coming storm, removed samehada from his back; “you can’t do this!”

“We can and we are” the youngest Uchiha snapped; “if you don’t like it, well, you can either start running or just throw your lives away now” he offered with a shrug, his face impassive. “Either way, I don’t really care...”

“No... no Sasuke, you don’t mean that... This isn’t... this isn’t you...”

“Shut-up” he growled, his sharingan spinning briefly into life as the last female Uzumaki shook her head and fought back tears.

“What did you think would happen on this day, hmm? Did you think, perhaps, that I’d turn around, view my homeland and instantly rescind one of my only reasons for living? That I’d open my arms, spread them across this ugly, putrid place and declare myself to be Hokage or something?” he huffed, a sharp bark of mean, twisted laughter running through him.

“Ha! What a joke, what a stupid thing to think” he spat, his mirth shifting gears into a cold, menacing tone; “and I don’t like what you’re inferring or this weakness you’re showing” he added, his pitch-black eyes narrowed and analytical.

“If you choose to challenge me, then you’re nothing, less than nothing.... and what should I care for people like that?”

Sighing, his massive form rising to stand, Jugo cracked and popped his shoulders as he moved to stand next to the sharp-toothed ninja and their medic, his face a neutral mask of indifference; “no more senseless killing” he stated bluntly. “No more... if I fall back into the habit then there’ll be no stopping me” he added, his hands tearing the Akatsuki cape from his back to allow its form to dance away from him in the winds which taunted the monument’s peak.

“Heh, finally, someone whose talkin’ sense!” the former Kiri-nin chirped, his own coat hitting the ground. “You don’t care about us? We’re less than nothing to you, oh mighty Sasuke? Okay, sure, fine, whatever” he snorted; “if that’s the case then we’ll be on our way... Karin? You coming?”

Head snapping back and forth between the pair on her right and the man before her (a man who, before today, she would have gladly died for), the flame-haired female swallowed, her fists clenching at her sides whilst she grit her teeth.

“I can’t believe that I’m in love with a prick like you!” she snarled; “Sasuke, tell me that I mean something to you, tell me that you care and I’ll...”

“Sure, you mean plenty” the Uchiha shrugged; “prove to me that you’re worth loving by killing these two and I’ll allow you to pledge yourself to us and our cause... if you can’t do that, then die with them” he furthered, his right brow arching imperiously to the crude chuckling of both Zetsu and Kisame.

“Neh~ Obito, this kid’s almost as cold blooded as you are” the shark-man chuckled, the stiffening and paling of the young woman causing both himself and the ichors being to grin wider.

“Karin...”

“Suigetsu” she breathed, a sudden, violent ripple of chakra flaring around her as she spun, her right arm raised to attack; “duck past me, grab that guy, throw him at Jugo and let’s get the fuck out of here!”

Blinking, his shocked expression turning into a wolfish grin as her chakra fuelled punch ploughed past him to plant into the ground, Suigetsu was a blur of motion; upon her fist's impact, the whole-cliff side started to shake and crumble whilst, true to her orders, the Kiri-nin darted to snatch up the dumbfounded Hatake, toss him to their comrade and begin their escape.

All but howling with rage, their feet unsteady and bodies flailing, the Uchiha and their allies could only watch as the teens sprang away whilst the ominous, booming call of “Kuchiyose no Jutsu!” filled the air and, within seconds, a terrifying, sky-shattering screech lanced through reality.

Karin had timed her move perfectly for there, in the centre of Konohagakure no Sato, shrieking in the place where Hokage Tower had once stood, was a monstrous, ten-tailed goliath, swathes of fire, smoke and the piteous squeals of the people unfortunate enough to wake-up within the madness.

~*~*~*~

“Shit! Shit! Fucking shit!!”

“What the hell? What the fuck?! Kami! I knew something big was coming but that’s just insane!”

“Calm yourselves” Jugo called, the three of them still able to see the plumes of cinder-laced smoke even at the high speeds with which they were pelting through the forests; “we need a plan...”

“Get... get this collar... off me... and I... I can help...” Kakashi rasped out, his steel-grey eye blown wide with horror and possibilities; “please... it’s... it’s the least I can... I mean... thank you...” he breathed, his expression slackened with shock and relief even as the colossal teen easily reached up to snap the metal with the ease of a toddler breaking a dry-noodle.

Then, just like that, his power and strength welled up in him as though some great flood or tidal wave was being released from a vast-dam; gasping, the urge to move too strong to resist, the last Hatake pulled himself away to glide alongside what remained of Team Taka, his smile genuine and pleased for a handful of seconds before the sound of distant screaming wiped it away.

“We don’t have much time” he called, his legs kicking out with abandon against each tree limb he encountered; “but I think what I’ve cooked up will be enough to give us a decent head-start and, if we’re lucky, some further help...”

~*~*~*~

“No! Nnooo! Bakashi was right! You bastards! You bastards lied to mmee-eerrkkkk!”

His sharingan still focused on the path the others had taken, Obito couldn't even relish the satisfaction of crushing and melting away the clone's throat as he motioned for Kisame to pull his hand away from a furious Sasuke’s shoulder.

“Why did you stop me?!” the younger demanded, his body whirling round; “this is my mistake, I’ll...”

“Don’t worry yourself” his cousin sighed, his own gaze looking across the plethora trees; “maa, how far are they really going to get? What can they hope to do now?” he asked lightly, his head cocking towards the towering beast which was writhing in the Village’s centre, its huge tails and flailing arms smashing and atomising everything they touched.

“That mokuton user has released the Jubi and, once Madara-sama’s allowed you to exact your revenge, he’ll become its jinchuuriki and wipe out the rest of Zetsu no matter where it creeps or lurks” he reminded, his look of pleasure much to dark and menacing to be truly pleased.

“We’ve won” he breathed, his tone slaked with awe; “so let them run, let them hide, let them grant us a tang of entertainment” he said casually, his flesh arm outstretched towards the burning buildings, a grin flicking up scar marred lips.

“Now go, avenger, go and exact your revenge upon those fools who saw your brother slaughter our Clan... go and enjoy your birthright and the power it’s granted you” he ordered, their eyes locking as the tension eased out of Sasuke and a feral, cruel animosity rose up to take its place.

“Today, every Nation under the sky will know the name Uchiha and, if they do not bow then they will all burn...”

Chapter Text

The scent of burning matter wasn’t quite as strong as it had been and, thanks to Karin’s sensory abilities, they could be certain that they’d not been followed; well, by conventional means, at least.

“You sure it’s okay to stop here?”

Nodding at the young swordsman, his kimono sleeves falling to ground thanks to a few quick nicks of the kunai Jugo had offered him, Kakashi released a sigh whilst the others tried to catch their breath; all around them, the trees whistled with the whipping winds and fine grains of ash, soot and people fluttered by.

People... his people... those he didn’t save, those he’d left to die...

“Oi... are you alright? You...”

“Oh my gods Suigetsu!” Karin cut in, her face thunderous; “did you not see what just happened back there? Eh?! Have some sense! That’s his home...”

“Yeah! Well! Of course I get that, but, you know, isn’t that the kind’a thing you ask when...”

“Thank you both, maa~ it’s been a good, long while since anyone considered me so much” the last Hatake cut in gently, his face softened by grief but his gratitude genuine; at his words, the male rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly whilst the young Uzumaki blushed and squirmed under the praise. “Da-na, if we’re all ready, I think it’s time I shared my plan with you and, if we’re lucky, this may just give us an advantage... however...”

“It’s not as though we have anything to lose” the larger of the group shrugged whilst cracking his knuckles; “so what’s the play?”

“Kamui” Kakashi replied whilst rolling his shoulders and revealing the sharingan; “Obito and I, we share this dojutsu but, up until just over a week ago, I could only send matter to that other dimension... hell, I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I didn’t even know about that plane of existence before then” he said. “Demo... now that I’ve been there, experienced it, I’m pretty sure that I can get us there and, more importantly, get us to other places, too...”

“Like where?” Suigetsu asked, his right brow cocking; “you can’t think that the Kage will just shake our hands and welcome us on side, can you?”

“Not yet, no” the Hatake admitted; “but that won’t be our first stop” he said, his face determined as he began channelling his chakra.

“We need to pick up a friend before heading to Tetsu...”

~*~*~*~

Zetsu’s flailing dissolution into a greasy mark upon the stone encircling the onsen (its body melting next to a similar stain) had been... interesting...

Scowling, a stick of bamboo he’d snatched from one of the many overgrown plants sticking out from between the numerous rocks aesthetically piled up about the bubbling-waters poking at the goo, Tobirama found himself almost grateful for the distraction.

The morning was well underway and, so too he feared, the destruction of his former homeland.

What to do, what to do?

His jailer, for one reason or another, had wasted away and now, trapped within seals which had his DNA sown into their fabric, he could still do little more than prowl about his prison like a caged tiger, his body wrapped in the ridiculous yukata Madara had so graciously provided for him.

He’d never felt more useless, more helpless than now...

Not even when he was a boy upon the killing fields...

“Whoa!!”

Blinking, his eyes widening in shock (had he been so distracted by his thoughts that he’d failed to sense the kamui’s formation?), the Senjuu looked up and over the pool, his pupils widening when the vortex which appeared there dropped out three, spluttering strangers and a familiar, now collar-free, shinobi.

“Ahh! What the fuck?!”

“Wah! Are you kidding me?!”

“Hmm... is this an onsen, then?”

“Maa~ wari-wari...” Kakashi coughed, the four of them splashing to stand in the water as, with a gasp, Tobirama was on his feet and rushing (chakra-depletion and all) to the pool’s edge.

“You’re... freed?” he rasped, his crimson gaze flicking from his relation to the teens moving towards him; the smaller of the three seemed more put out than the largest boy who simply waded through the steaming liquid as though there was nothing to hinder him at all.

“You’ll be, too” the last Hatake said, his sodden robe swiftly drying with a blast of katon infused chakra once he’d cleared the pool’s edge. “Here, let me... there we go” he breathed, a true smile tugging at his weary lips as, with the snapping of metal, came the Senjuu’s power which surged whilst his latest group of allies dried themselves off in a similar fashion to the jutsu he’d just performed.

“Whoa...” Karin breathed, her right hand adjusting her glasses as she observed (another silver-haired-hottie) the man who rubbed his neck with one hand and flexed the fingers of his other.

“Maa~ so this is the guy you were telling us about?” Suigetsu asked, his head cocking to the side; “I gotta admit, he’s a power-house alright... naa... but just one extra set of hands isn’t going to save us from that giant thing of his...”

“What?” Tobirama breathed, his eyes narrowing with shock and horror; “Kakashi, surely he doesn’t mean...”

“We’ll fill you in on the way, Niidaime-sama” the younger of the two breathed, his expression grave; “I fear I’ll only be able to enact this jutsu a few more times before I’m drained completely and, should I let that happen, then our only advantage may be lost...”

~*~*~*~

Mifune had grown sick and tired of the wailing and it had only been an hour...

“Is this Obito’s master-plan then? To lock us up here and drive us mad with gore and screaming?” A grumbled, the long, thick fingers of his hands scraping over the mess that his formally pristinely combed hair had become, its blond strands now sticking out like so much displaced hay.

They’d been sequestered in the Shogun’s private residence since the Akatsuki’s departure; the hospitals were overrun, the schools filled with people whose homes had been swamped by the now squealing, writhing mass that, its hungry mouth screaming instead of eating, still sprawled out to encompass his entire Country.

The ninja of Kumogakure no Sato had been seen by his scouts but were, however, just as ineffective as his own forces (heh, whichever brave men and women he had left) when it came to shifting the thing.

“Perhaps it is a good omen” Mei murmured, her heavily bandaged form sitting the closest to the bay-window which dominated Mifune’s study; “I have heard many people howl when dying... maybe this hideous crying means...”

“Tch, giving yourself over to false-hope is as bad, hell, if not worse than fantasising about the impossible” the Tsuchikage snorted, his small, almost broken body laid out upon an old, comfortable leather sofa to the right of the Shogun’s mahogany desk, his granddaughter and guardian kneeling dutifully at his side.

“Heh, it’s not like you to be defeatist, o-san” A snorted, his head momentarily lifting from where he was sat upon plush carpeting, his broad shoulders leaning back against a sturdy, well-stocked book-case whilst his own serves leaned into him on either side, their breathing deep and laboured by medicine induced sleep.

“Beh! Look at me!” the oldest snapped irritably; “I’m immobile, useless, just about alive and no good to anyone...”

“Jiji... don’t... you can’t speak that way...”

“Oh... but I am sorry that you had to be here, my dear, to see me like this, to die in the way that bastard promised...”

“That’s enough of that talk for now” Garaa cut in, his form sat atop the gourd of sacred sand he usually carried, his gaze briefly shifting up from the forms of his slumbering siblings who’d curled up opposite the Raikage and his honour-guard. “Once we’ve fully recovered, we’ll be more than able to break through the ichors to rejoin with the Raikage’s forces and our own” he stated, his eyes narrowing as possible battle-plans and tactics swirled within his mind. “We cannot afford to think otherwise and we cannot resign ourselves to that madman’s whims... we have suffered losses, it’s true, and I’ll admit that this show of force was concerning...”

“Hah! Concerning” the Tsuchikage sneered; “boy, you listen to me and you listen good” he snapped, his glare caustic. “I have fought with Madara... I have seen, first hand, what he could do even without the help of an army or a bijuu” he added, his voice cracking with feeling even as his last relative and heir gently placed her hand upon his bandaged shoulder. “And if that Obito is successful in reviving him, if they truly have the tailed beasts and are able to combine them then, well... it’s over, everything is over... But hell, you want to prolong your misery? You want to see the Uchiha rip your loved ones to shreds and smash your Village to pieces for objecting? Then please, be my guest because it’ll mean that their wrath is coming down on you instead of my granddaughter and our people” he huffed, his words choking off when he began to cough violently.

“Jiji!”

“Master!”

“Ken, send for Tsunade-sama...” Mifune ordered, his body standing of its own volition as the other conscious rulers and their shinobi curved towards their elder.

“No-o, no... cuh! Le’me... be...” the aged leader grunted out; “that woman is needed in... your hospitals... your people may... may yet survive this... this madness with her aid...” he continued through a wet, raspy wheeze. “No... let her to her work... at least she and her ninja... can be of use here...” he added, his blackened eyes flitting to Mifune; “for what... it is worth to you now, Shogun... I am sorry that it was... your door that we all darkened with this...”

“Please do not apologise, Lord” the samurai offered, his own wounded body sitting heavily back down; “from what you have said and I have seen with my own eyes... we would have only lasted so long before those men and their evil intentions knocked on our doors” he stated grimly.

“My only regret is that we were not of more aid and, although it does seem foolish, childish even, I continue to pray and hope for a break in this drear...” he murmured, his eyes rolling to the decorative lattice work of beams which made up his study’s ceiling. “If Kami-sama exists, if he can hear us, then surely a sign must... wait, wait what is...?!!”

Gasping, their own faces snapping to regard the spot where a vortex had started twirling, the ninja and swordsman were almost clumsy in their desperation to secure their weapons and stand whilst, with yelps and flailing limbs, a group of familiar people dropped from the hole...

To crush Mifune’s desk...

Chapter Text

“I don’t know what he’s promised you, Sasuke, but trusting this man and what he intends to do is a death-sentence...”

The streets of his homeland were warped, mangled and crumbling into cindery piles of ash amidst the growing flames and dying cries of pain...

“You did not listen to me back in Konoha, you went out and found, for yourself, that the vengeance you craved was all for nothing so please, this time I’ll even beg you, don’t follow him... Go home, go back to the place Itachi gave up his life for, meet with Naruto and combine your forces to stop him because it’ll take the pair of you and every other shinobi you can summon to...”

All around him, the bodies of men, women and children (some faces he knew, some he didn’t, some too scorched to tell) littered what parts of the once thriving, prosperous town he’d grown in that weren’t completely swallowed by the blaze or atomised by the huge, ravenous creature at the Village’s centre...

“Because I can see above and beyond myself! None of this is about me! There’s so much more at stake!”

The smell was horrific and the slaughter all too easy...

“God damn-it, Sasuke! How can you still be so blind and deaf to what your brother wanted for you? If what Madara has told me is true, if they really did slaughter your Clan and prevent a civil-war then there are two very important things you’re missing...”

Kisame had found the Nara Compound with its many tents and soundly sleeping occupants...

“The first is that Itachi loved the Village, its people and what it stood for more than those who had raised him... I don’t need to tell you what pain and suffering would have been wrought should your father’s coup had gone ahead....”

Obito had called him over, his smirk crooked and pleased...

“The second... is that to spare you means that he loved you more than anyone or anything else... He hoped that the loss of your Clan would make you strong to be a protector, a hero, not some errand boy for your ancestor and his schemes of world-domination... Or didn’t he bother telling you that? Have you never stopped to wonder, to question how this new-world he keeps going on about will be created? Didn’t I at least teach you to think?!”

He was to incinerate them as they slept...

“Tch, it’s just like spearing fish in a barrel” the former Kiri-nin chuckled from the tiled roof on which he and the older Uchiha perched, the vicious howls of the juubi a terrifying back-drop to the serenity that the quiet snores rising from the tents provided.

He was to incinerate his class-mates...

Naruto’s precious people...

His...

“Hah! You did not just say that!” Obito chuckled, his previous ire having disintegrated along with the greater part of Konoha; “isn’t that racist for you, or something?”

Could he do it?

“Teme! What the hell do you think I am, ah?!” the shark-man snorted, his own grin wide, pleased and full of blood-lust fuelled challenge; “I have half a mind to smack you for that one!”

Yes... yes he had to...

“What? Ha! I’d like to see you try!”

To have ties to this place, these people, could only lead to further problems down the line...

“Don’t think that I won’t just because you and your ancestor are going to rule this world... hell, someone’s got to give you a good ass-kicking from time to time... neh... and speaking of ass...”

And besides, Madara had promised to revive his Clan, revive the people that truly mattered to him and maybe, maybe that could include his old class-mates, their families, their precious people...

“Tch, don’t you worry... Itachi will be at your side before you know it... say, is it true that you guys used to, you know, do it under-water?”

Kakashi was wrong, he had to be wrong; hadn’t he seen with his own eyes, his brother’s eyes what his seniors in life could do? Were doing?

“Hhhnnnhhhnnnn... hai, we did, when the mood took us and the location was right... Da-na, that’s not where I was going with that comment, though...”

The tents, dusted with ash, were puckering and dimpling in the breeze and, around them upon a spacious, squared veranda, the dead bodies of Shikamaru’s family lay along with two others who he didn’t recognise out-right but he was sure that one of them was Choji’s father...

“Oh?”

“Neh... about that silver-haired piece of tail of yours... you sure that you want to just, let him loose? He is a pretty resourceful guy with quite the reputation as a shinobi, after all... ”

If he used a katon styled jutsu or even rai, then it would be over quickly and, in their genjutsu induced state, they wouldn’t feel a thing, wouldn’t know that their deaths were upon them before they were actually gone, all safely tucked away in the Pure-lands with Naruto...

Because Naruto was dead...

“Umm? Pff, what exactly can he do? Heh, trust me, with someone like Kakashi hope is the best thing to use when it comes to breaking him... maa, and what better way to bring him to heel than to let him run free for a while? Hah! The look on his face when he realises that, not unlike a fish, he’s been caught on my hook this whole time and that I’ve had the power to reel him in when I so choose... Well, let’s just say that that’s a look I’m very eager to see... So eager, in fact, that him joy-riding around the Country with a group of stupid kids is more an entertaining thing to think about then a cause for any actual concern...” he shrugged. “I just hope that he finds his way to Tetsu sooner rather than later so that he can be of use in bringing this final act to a close...”

What he was doing was a kindness, really; this way they wouldn’t have to fight, wouldn’t have to see Konoha in its current state or suffer...

“Nnnnhhhhnnnnhhhhnnnn... maa~ Obito, I almost feel sorry for the guy...”

“Tch, you have sympathy for a man who tried to kill you this morning?”

“I did say almost...”

What he was doing was a kindness...

“Katon...”

Grinning, their faces turning from each other to look down at their youngest member, both of the Akatsuki nodded in approval as the boy’s chakra continued to build.

“Grand Fire-Ball no Jutsu!!”

~*~*~*~

Panting, his legs burning from the speed with which he was running, Gai paid little heed to his samurai guides as he and his fellows pushed through the double, mahogany doors which guarded Mifune’s inner sanctum, their eyes narrowed with shock before blowing wide with joy.

“My eternal rival!!” he cried, his bruised body (still limping but improving hour by hour) hauling itself closer to the man approaching him. “Oh! It is so good to see you my friend! Did I not tell you that we’d see each other again? Did I not say it’d be so?!” he added, his arms wrapping around the other man, all but crushing him in enthusiasm.

“S’great... to see... you too... Gai” the Hatake breathed, a few hesitant pats on the man’s back gesturing that he wanted release; grinning sheepishly (after putting the silver haired ninja (who was wearing a plain version of the standard samurai uniform) down), the green-beast stepped back to allow Genma and Raido their turn.

“Do you have any news?”

“Hai” the younger Konoha ninja breathed after their greeting embrace had ended, his right arm gesturing to a man seated upon the only viable couch; “minna, this is Senjuu Tobirama-sama, Niidaime Hokage” he stated, his soft lips quirking into a small, bitter-sweet smile. “Niidaime-sama, this is Maito Gai, Namiashi Raido and Shiranui Genma... they’re all jonin and some of the best people you could hope to know” he admitted, his smile quickly fading when he turned back to his friends.

“I’m sorry that we couldn’t have arrived sooner or with better news, but...”

“Wait... just wait” Genma breathed, his shock plain to see; “you’re being serious, aren’t you? That is really Niidaime-sama, isn’t it? Then...”

“Then Obito wasn’t bluffing?” A called, his bulky form stood resolutely by the window that Mei had been staring through earlier, his tone gruff and posture stiff; “go on, tell them what you told us, what caused your current Hokage to punch that hole in the wall...”

Gasping, the three looked from the Raikage to the partition the older man had shrugged towards; there could be no doubt that their ruler had been deeply displeased.

“Look, just come in, sit down before I...”

“Where is everyone else?”

Blinking, Kakashi looked to Raido’s calm, stoic countenance and found himself glad for the man’s consistent manner; “Mifune-sama’s staff have kindly re-housed those too injured to move whilst everyone else, including Tsunade-sama, have gone to clear the roads leading out of the City...”

“That’s madness, we were just down by the southern exit and there’s not a chance that...”

“Maa~ we haven’t arrived alone” the last Hatake cut through, his steel-grey eye softening slightly when Genma regarded him with a confused, worried expression. “We have a sensory and a shinobi wielding Momochi Zabuza’s demon-blade... between them, Garaa-sama and the other honour-guards, we might just break through within the hour... especially now that Zetsu is dying” he reasoned.

“But this news you have... what has...”

“Konohagakure no Sato is no more.”

Snapping their heads back to the sombre, former Hokage, their faces draining of colour, all three ninja felt their heads shaking slowly in grief tinted denial; “d-demo...”

“I am truly sorry” Tobirama stated, his crimson eyes troubled even as he sipped the cooling tea he’d been offered. “From what Kakashi and his saviours have told me, Madara has completed that most horrifying of jutsu and summoned the juubi to our world... I fear it is only a matter of time before he merges with it to become a reincarnated Rikudo Sennin” he added quietly, his features grim.

“When spoken aloud, it sounds preposterous...”

“Hah! Now isn’t that the truth!” A called, a glass of something distinctly stronger than tea pressing against his lips; “tch! Why are we even bothering to shift that melting ooze? What’s the point of it? Where exactly will we go? What are we to do?! Ugh! I hate it when that crotchety old bastard is right and he is!”

“Raikage, please” Mifune murmured from his chair, his booted feet resting atop the kindling that’d once served as his great-grandfather’s desk; “my poor home can take no more Kage led renovations...”

“Feh! I may as well bring this whole damned place down around our ears and spare us the trouble” the man in question grumbled, his drink now drained; “one last stand, one final battle” he muttered tiredly. “Heh, oh how this makes all of those wars we’ve waged seem all the more petty and small, doesn’t it?”

Sighing softly, Kakashi opened his mouth to offer some comfort before, with a blink, he snapped it shut, his gaze turning to Tobirama as panic started to lance through him.

“Um? Cousin, are you...”

“K-kamui...” he breathed, his hands rushing to cap his eye. “No... no, no, no!!”

“By the gods!” the albino yelped, his body up and moving before anyone else could react; “keep it closed for as long as you can whilst I get us out of here” he ordered, his arms scooping the last Hatake up whilst the other’s stumbled over their questions.

“Mifune-sama! Call everyone back and quickly!” the Niidaime yelled, a loosed kunai smashing through the bay-window; “A-sama’s prophecy of a final stand is upon us!”

Chapter Text

“G-gouge it out! It’s the only way!”

Tobirama flitted them towards an expanse of dense forest still littered by groaning, warbling Zetsu, his form much too fast for the samurai or his fellow nin to follow thanks to his haste; he needed to limit the damage the approaching battle was sure to cause.

“Don’t be ridiculous... the second you open your eye they’ll...”

“Then rip it out along with my eye-lid!” the younger gasped out, the pain growing too much to bear even when cradled against the other man’s chest; “hand me a kunai and I’ll do it!”

“Mutilating yourself will only delay the inevitable... Obito is more than capable of bringing them here... he’s just using you like this as some kind of twisted punishment for your rebellion...” the Niidaime reasoned, his words causing the younger man to flinch and scowl angrily.

He was right, of course...

“Aahhh! I... I can’t...” he cursed; “get-t away from-m me... it’s going-g- to...”

Allowing his own frown to deepen, the Niidaime offered a brief nod of understanding before helping the younger man to spring towards the least habited area he’d been able to find; fortunately, it seemed as though Mifune’s forces had already cleared the homes at their territory’s borders.

However, if he expected to see the colossal behemoth which the teens had reported to emerge from Kakashi’s borrowed sharingan, then he was disappointed.

“No... no it cannot be...”

For there, leaping forth from the vortex blossoming out from his cousin’s face, were the forms of Obito (decked out in purple, black and cream finery), a man who must be of water-demon descent, a young man who bore the classical looks of the Uchiha and...

“Ahh! So you are here as well, Rama-kun! What an unexpected surprise!”

Glaring at the ivory creature who wore the title of Sage upon his forehead like a crown, a coat of similar hue flaring all around him as he floated above the roof-top Tobirama had perched upon, the Senjuu could only grind out a: “what in the world have you done to yourself now, Madara!?”

Smirking, his minions scattering to occupy one of the many snow-capped building-tops, the Patriarch gestured to himself with the onyx staff he held whilst six baubles of a blackened, nightmarish shade lazily waltzed around him even as Kakashi elegantly flipped and skittered his way to the former Hokage’s side.

“Do you not like it? I admit, the style is a bit archaic for these more modern times but, with practise, I should be able to alter myself if I wish” he replied, his tone wickedly pleased; “da-na, I wouldn’t go probing my new form with your sensory-skills too much, Rama-kun, I fear the power I hold will be far too much for you...”

“Oh, how I grow sick and tired of you and your posturing!” the Niidaime spat, his hands whipping into a series of swift, forbidden formations; “suiton! Ice-Dragon no Jutsu!”

“Pff, such juvenile behaviour... your brother would be ashamed to see you using such cheap, forbidden tricks to maim me... he always did want us to get along, after all...” he chuckled, a mere gesture of his free hand dismantling the ice-borne chakra like so much glass from a broken window.

“Shit” Kakashi heard himself whisper, his eyes wide with disbelief as he struggled to get his breathing under-control; closing his sharingan (for fear of anything else attempting to travel through it), he did a quick check of his chakra reserves.

It looked as though Kisame was his only feasible target...

“Hmm? What’s this? One last hurrah?” the Uchiha called, his tone the epitome of smug as he continued to float above snowy roofs, his caped-coat billowing majestically as he turned to allow dual rinnengan to view the assembling forces clattering their way across the buildings and through civilian-cleared streets. “Why throw your lives away? Why not submit to me, to our rule, and enjoy lasting peace?”

“Lasting subjugation, you mean!” A snarled bitterly, his words heralded by a puff of smoky-steam; “which, I suppose, is better than the fate that befell my brother? That has befallen the innocent people of this Village? The Leaf Village?” he added through a growl, his fists crackling with chakra.

“Ask me for your brother back, and I’ll give him to you... Ask for this Village, that Village to be revived and I will do it” Madara returned, his smile serene. “That wouldn’t take even an ounce of my power, a gram, perhaps...”

“Ha! What!? You’re not talking sense, man! You think that a change of clothes, a boost of chakra and the tailed beasts make you God?!” the Raikage roared; “hell! Even if I believed you, even if you could raise the dead, what good would it do? You propose that we don’t die on our feet because living on our knees is better?!”

“I propose that you accept this charitable offer and enjoy living in a world free of human conflict” the Sage breathed, his smile dipping slightly whilst the shadowed orbs circling him spun a little faster. “However, reject that offer and you can die, crumble away like ashes, just like this old, imperfect world” he stated, those ethereal eyes narrowing unkindly as he slowly, carefully brandished his staff and pointed it towards the furious male.

“Make your choice now, A” he ordered, the arctic wind sweeping up and around him; “kneel to me or burn...”

“Madara! Stop this!” Tobirama called, his shock at the chakra building in such a small, concentrated area prompting him to act. “Think about what you’re saying, what you’re doing!” he urged whilst both he and Kakashi edged cautiously closer; “there’ll be no turning back from this! You are begging for a world-war...”

“No, Rama-kun, I am merely bringing about much needed change” the older cut in, his eerie gaze shifting from the Kage and their amassing forces to his two concubines, a smirk quipping his lips. “Hmm... this is not the place for you to be, I think” he admitted, his dojutsu narrowing from one collarless neck to another. “No, I think it best that you not have to witness what is to come... for neither of you are to be warriors from now on, heh, well... not in the traditional sense of battling and sparring, anyway” he reasoned, his left hand elegantly spreading fingers to summon one of the spheres to him.

“We’re not leaving” the Niidaime spat, a brief nod to his cousin solidifying their stance; “if you plan to go through with this lunacy then we’ll pledge our lives to stop you” he promised, their chakra levels rising in time as the Hatake’s electric element sparked about him whilst Tobirama called to the ice-trapped water to his aid.

Around them, a chorus of answering cheers and war-cries filled the air even as the Akatsuki members snorted and Madara chuckled.

“Admirable... cute, even” the Uchiha said with a sharp grin; “da-na, we’ll see about redirecting some of that passion later, neh?”

“Bastard!!”

“Niidaime-sama! Kakashi-san! Move!”

“Heh, they can’t...”

Yelping, his left arm automatically reaching out in an attempt to shield the younger man, the Senjuu could do nothing more than that as the orb hurtling towards them expanded within milliseconds and, in a blink of an eye, they were swallowed whole.

Gasping, his crimson eyes virtually eaten by darkness stretched pupils, Tobirama felt as though he was floating in syrup before realising (a wave of horror cascading through him) that it was chakra, pure, unadulterated, raw-elemental chakra.

It was beautiful, awful, monstrous, suffocating...

“... you hear me? Tobirama-sama?”

Blinking, his body fighting off the need to hyperventilate, the albino blinked when Kakashi’s gentle hands on his shoulders eased him out of sensory-mode and brought him back to reality.

“Thank goodness” the silver haired jonin breathed; “I’ve been trying to wake you for... well... I’m not really sure” he admitted, his left arm gesturing around the hazy, shadow-crawling void that they were drifting in. “This place... nothing feels right and yet... maa~ I can’t feel anything but I can feel everything... That, and I can’t perform any ninjutsu even though I can tell that my body has been completely healed and I mean completely... it’s so strange, my body hasn’t been in this good’a condition in years, really” he murmured, his face (he looked young, much too young to be caught up in the madness they were facing; he, himself, had been in his early fifties when death claimed him during that ambush) awash with confusion and worry.

“This whole area must be made up of Sage energy” he heard himself say, his pupils finally calming as he became more aware of his body and forced himself to uncoil from the foetal position he was floating in; “we may even be in the literal belly of a bijuu” he added whilst performing a cautious visual assessment of his body.

He was glowing a pale, luminescent blue, just as his cousin was.

“Is there anything we can do?”

Sighing, their eyes locking, Tobirama wondered, vaguely, what his brother might have said and what valiant words could have left that determined countenance in the wake of such overwhelming odds...

“Kakashi... I’m sorry, but...” he began, his expression grim (and saddening further when his cousin’s beautiful features morphed to mirror his own look of resignation). “I don’t think that there is...”

Nodding, the Hatake raised his right hand to tap at his scarred, closed-eyelid; “maybe the kamui...”

“No, no that’s much too dangerous to consider” he cut in, his gaze scrutinising their warped, purplish surroundings. “Even if you could activate it, this realm is pure chakra and I am unsure as to what the consequences would be... you could potentially create a vortex that’d become unstoppable, or the jutsu may be inverted due to the massive pressure of the Sennin energy” he added, his arms crossing over the bland-tunic he’d been provided with.

“Ah... I see, of course, you’re right” the younger murmured, his steel grey eye small whilst he looked around, his posture that of a harried animal, his flesh peppered with goose-bumps despite the warmth such a colossal swirling of chakra was sure to emit.

“Come here” the Senjuu found himself saying, a spike of paternal worry sparking through him when the (technically; he’d been resurrected back to his prime) younger man startled at the words; deciding to make his intentions clear, the albino reached over and pulled Kakashi into the warm circle of his arms.

“Whatever is to happen next” he said, his own form relaxing at the contact; “we will face it together, alright?”

“Hai” the Hatake replied, his head tucking under the Niidaime’s chin like a child; not that he’d ever known this kind of contact well, not after his father’s death, anyway. “Thank you Tobirama-sama...”

“Tch, I think that we can drop that honorific now, don’t you?” the former Hokage asked through a dry, mirthless chuckle; “we are family, after all...”

Chapter Text

They’d been holding onto each other like that for a handful of moments and surely no longer when, with a sickening twist and lurch, their peaceful bubble burst to throw them (limply) to land with solid thuds upon hard, polished floor-boards.

Gasping, his arms still clutching the younger man as they shuddered (everything was suddenly so much colder, the air thinner and easier to breathe) and heaved into the wood, their eyes screwed shut whilst they struggled to gather their bearings.

Soon, they’d wish that they hadn’t...

“Wow, they really haven’t aged a day in there, have they?”

Blinking, his body aching under the fresh strain that gravity provided, Tobirama managed to pull both himself and Kakashi into a slumped sitting position, his left eye cracking open to blearily view a sight he’d never thought that he’d see.

“My, my, Rama-kun... it’s unlike you to be so...” the white creature that’d once been Madara mused, a smirk slanting his lips; “flustered...”

The throne was a grand, carved obsidian monstrosity which dominated what he supposed to be the deranged man’s audience chamber; stood next to him, scar-less and smug, stood Obito in the same purple and ivory finery he’d glimpsed him in earlier. The patriarch, too, was dressed in that flawless, milk-white coat, his Sage’s staff held in a slot cut out for it beside him as he somehow lounged into the towering chair within the wide, square, furniture-less chamber lined with shuttered windows and lamps alone.

“W-what?”

“Do you like it? You always were more of a minimalist and, whereas I would love to have our Clan’s symbol hanging all about the place, I have been told that that is not the done thing” he offered with a strangely casual shrug, his rinnengan softly swirling. “Umm, ‘tis nice to see it hand-painted upon the walls though... a touch of nostalgia from when I built my first estate within the greater walls of Konohagakure no Sato...”

“Ugh... I... I don’t...” Kakashi breathed, the palms of his hands pressing into his eyes whilst he focused on his breathing; “w-where are we? W-hat is h-happening?”

“Shh-shh-shh” Madara tutted out, his smile softening; “why don’t the pair of you go and see for yourselves, hm? Go on, get up, turn around and open up those doors... but only open them, mind” he warned, his right hand gesturing whilst Obito grinned all the wider.

Grunting, the last Hatake managed to pull himself to stand upon quaking legs alongside his shuddering cousin, his steel-grey eye struggling to focus whilst he turned to view two ominous, black-varnished doors, his left brow quirking.

A more obvious trap couldn’t have been set; however, what choice did they have?

“And what is it... exactly, you are wanting us to see?” Tobirama threw over his shoulder, his body (not unlike Kakash’s) growing stronger and more resilient with each movement.

“Why, the world that I promised you, of course...”

Snorting, his hands reaching out to help the younger man in their joint task, the Senjuu found that only the lightest of touches (a red-inked seal momentarily flashing above to alight the doorjamb) prized the towering, pitch-darkened wooden structures apart.

Once parted, the silver haired ninjas looked out at what Kakashi immediately recognised as Konoha only larger, more developed and thriving in a way that some of the larger, civilian Cities were starting to...

“Is this the Village? Did you not see the juubi destroy it...”

Yes, yes had had, he’d been so sure and yet, standing to stare out (the room from which they peered was clearly perched upon what they knew to be the top of the cliff in which the Hokages’ faces had been carved) there it was, pristine and peppered with life.

“Oh, it did!” Obito called, his bare feet cheerfully padding him across the flawless, glossy wood. “The whole place was razed to the ground... yep, every last building, plant and person was completely wiped out but, as you can see, it’s all come back together quite nicely” he said, his body moving to stand next to the Hatake, an arm roping out to snag the other’s waist.

“Hey...”

“Maa~ Bakashi, don’t be so cold... I kept my side of the deal even if you broke more of the promises that you made and tried to ditch me” he sighed with mock anger, his smile quirking when Tobirama scowled at him and made to pull the pair apart.

“He wants your advances no more than I do... you, your master and whatever trickery this is...”

“Trickery? Well, as sorry as I am to contradict you, Niidaime-sama, but this is no trick” Obito chuckled, a twirl of his form spinning both him and a scowling Kakashi a few steps away; “this is it! This is what we’ve worked so hard to achieve, what every sacrifice was made for” he announced, both arms now bringing the struggling Hatake to stand, back to chest. “Da-na, as wonderful as it is to see Madara-sama’s ideal Village realised, it’s not even the tip of the iceberg” he close to chirped, the younger man’s fidgeting not phasing him in the slightest whilst he turned back to the patriarch.

“Ah! Obito! L-let go! Y-you’re c-crushing my ribs!”

“Stop fussing like a toddler and I won’t need to hold you so tight now, will I? You’re still collarless and I’m not stupid enough to think that you aren’t planning something” he reasoned, his eyes flashing sharingan red when Tobirama’s posture subtly changed. “We haven’t brought you back to reality to fight... well, not in the traditional sense... maa~ no one has to do that anymore outside of sparring and training, anyway...”

“Stop talking in riddles” the albino spat, his crimson gaze reverting to the smug male still lounging, still amenably grinning even as the doors swooped shut with a resounding bang. “What is it that you have done?”

“I have taken over the world” Madara shrugged again, his shoulders languidly moving to insinuate what a trifle he’d found the whole event to have been. “You, my dears, have been dozing through quite the ruckus and have many people who are eager to see you both, just waiting in the wings” he added, his head tilting to where, as if by magic, another set of doors seamlessly materialised in the centre of the wall to his left.

“Your genjutsu won’t...”

“Release it then, if you can” the oldest of the four challenged with a smirk; “your chakra is building, your body has not been impeded in anyway so please, assuage your doubts and try to dispel what you believe to be my illusions” he offered lightly. “Amuse me...”

Snorting, his glance flicking to a similarly perturbed looking Kakashi, Tobirama interlaced his fingers, a swell of power rising at his call: “kai!”

Everything remained as it was...

“Taa-daa...” Obito deadpanned whilst Madara laughed out-right.

“You were correct, descendent, the look on their faces was, indeed, worth the wait” he mused, the fingers of his right hand snapping; “ah... but, perhaps, the best is yet to come?”

Glaring in kind, the Senjuu and his cousin begrudgingly looked to the newly formed entryway and stared, jaws loosening, as a small group of familiar faces appeared, each sporting collars and clothing bearing the Uchiha family’s crest.

“By the Gods...”

“Obito... you didn’t...”

Giving his quaking lover’s firm, muscle-corded stomach (beneath the ghastly, standard top which’d once been a part of Kumo’s jonin uniform) a gentle, soothing rub, the youngest Uchiha present propped his chin onto the other’s shoulder, a smile smoothing across his perfect, reconstructed features.

“Naa~ Rin-chan, I told you that he’d be lost for words” he called, his eyes crinkling when the girl’s doe-brown eyes (tearful and worried) sprang from the ivory beauty he held, to him; “why don’t you bring his folks over, neh?”

Somehow finding the strength to look away from Hashirama’s tired but relieved features, Tobirama felt torn between going to him and their younger brothers (all three of them standing still, most likely waiting for orders if the way Mito kept flicking her own exhausted gaze to the smugly sat warlord was any indication) and staying to ensure the wellbeing of the man whose fate he shared.

It was all so, so surreal...

“How much time has passed?” he found himself asking, his analytical mind whirring with a thousand thoughts.

“Ten years, give or take... our returned families’ have been back amongst the living for about two of those, though” Madara replied, his rinnengan flicking to the assembled Senjuu beside him whilst Obito oversaw the Hatake reunion. “You have an hour to talk, Rama-kun, and then everyone will need to return to their duties to prepare for the banquet this evening” he ordered; “descendent? Come along now, we have our own preparations to take care of, don’t we?” he chuckled, the smirk he shared with the younger man an unmistakable leer.

“This evening shall prove to be a reunion not to be forgotten...”

Chapter Text

The tattered remains of his heart throbbed painfully as they knelt together upon the lacquered floor-boards; his father (strained, tired, looking so much older than thirty-five) holding the hand of a woman he tried to call oka-san (but the word just wouldn’t come out) whilst a sixteen year old Rin sat just to his left and continued to blink to and away him.

He’d had nightmares so similar to this...

“You’re as tall as your father, I see...”

She was beautiful, younger than him, with platinum blonde hair, mist-green eyes and a mole, just like his, resting near the corner of her softly smiling lips.

“Almost” Sakumo tried to chuckle, the chakra-drain from the collar he wore clearly keeping him exhausted; “he’s definitely got your brother’s smile, though” he added, the pair of them sitting directly across from him, their forms rigid as though they were forcing themselves to remain where they were.

Obito had previously forbidden the people he cared about from touching him, hadn’t he?

“And my good-looks, too” the woman, Kagome, added through her own strained laugh, her eyes slightly red and reddening further, still; “I... I really wish that I’d been able to help you grow up, Kakashi-kun... I, we shouldn’t have let you down with our poor choices...”

“Me-chan...” the older Hatake male (but only by five years at this point) breathed, his hand tightening its grip on hers as they looked towards each other; a small voice, one that sounded suspiciously like his pre-Academy self, whispered that being raised by them would have been wonderful.

They were so clearly in love; how had his father managed to live so long without her?

“Oh... don’t start or you’ll have me weeping like some old-housewife” the former Senjuu laughed, her smile genuine as they turned back to him; “he’s a terrible one for making a fuss, isn’t he?”

“I wouldn’t know, really” he heard himself say, his eyes blinking in shock whilst his father’s head bowed a little lower; “I... I’m sorry, I... I didn’t mean...”

“It’s quite alright, Kakashi” Sakumo breathed, his gaze a fraction duller; “you have every right to be angry with me, more than angry” he furthered, his shoulders straightening a little when they regarded each other. “And that’s why I shan’t allow anything to stop me from making amends now that we have been granted this second chance...”

“About that” the younger male cut in (he couldn’t dare to hope, he couldn’t afford to let this be real), his analytical mind rapidly fixing pieces of this new reality together; “what have they done? What has happened...”

“We’ve been told not to say” Rin breathed, her left hands quickly swiping a stray tear away. “Obito he... he and Madara-sama want to speak to you about the world and our roles in it” she added, her face turned away to view the Senjuu quietly talking just a few feet away. “Ano... I can tell you that Minato-sensei, Kushina-san and Naruto-kun are all alive, along with his genin group... I can also tell you that Itachi-sama and all of the Akatsuki members are too... them and the three Sannin...”

“Wait.... what, every member of the Akatsuki?”

“Aside from someone called Zetsu” his father relayed whilst Rin tried harder to compose herself and control her breathing. “There is a large urn with that name upon it in the main-reception hall... Madara-sama has honoured guests look at it before they attend an audience with him... he... Eto, let’s just say that disobedient people have been thrown into it and never return... it is hearsay that the thing within the urn was a former member who attempted to deceive Madara-sama and that it cannot truly die” he furthered, his dark eyes shifting uneasily as he spoke. “As for the Akatsuki, they serve as Madara-sama’s honour-guard now and there are many more amongst their number than there were when you fought with them ten years ago” he finished quietly.

“I see” Kakashi murmured, a sigh shuddering through him; “and you, all of you, you’ve been treated well?”

“Oh yes, yes, very well... and you mustn’t concern yourself with us...” his mother was quick to breathe, her left hand going to reach out until she stopped herself with a jerk; “Kakashi” she close to whispered, their eyes locking. “No matter what happens, you mustn’t...” she broke off before leaning back again, her aura briefly alight with righteous fire as she challenged the walls to do anything whilst Sakumo stiffened and Rin flinched.

“Kagome-san” the young healer murmured before, a flash of resolve sparking across her own features; “Kakashi-kun, there are rules and then there are rules” she said, her body shifting more fully towards him, her lovely face marred by salt-laced streaks. “I will not let your parents risk their lives and Obito... Obito will protect me from anything” she admitted, a twist of guilt pulling her lips; “the collars do more than restrain chakra, they can kill in an instant” she stated, her hands fisting into the beautiful yukata she wore. “Everyone wears one now... and anyone who steps out of line can be dealt with in seconds... Madara-sama, he is, he can be merciful but in what he wants from you and Tobirama-san, ano... he will not be swayed” she said, her features paling. “He wants to use us... us and the others you’re close to, to keep you in line... and he’ll stop at nothing to ensure that you do what you’re told but I, we won’t stop, either... We’re your friends, your family, and after letting you down in the past, for hurting you, we’ll find a way to free you no matter the cost and... and soon I’ll be old enough... and some of the guards have said that...”

“Maa~ Rin-chan, you never were one for gossip before... is Kushina-san a bad influence on you, I wonder?”

Blinking, the three turned to find Obito swirling into existence beside her, his purple robes seamlessly flaring out all about him as he moved to sit directly beside the younger of the two male Hatake, his tone playful despite the Nohara biting her lips and glaring at him.

“Tch, well, if you’re going to try and spoil my good mood then I suppose I’ll have to retaliate by ruining a surprise, neh?” he asked, his grin flashing from the frowning girl to the family they were sat with; “Kagome-san, I believe that congratulations are in order, hm?” he asked, his words causing the four listeners to stiffen. “How far along are you now? Two months, three?”

“I...”

“Maa~ Bakashi, you get to be an onii-chan, isn’t that wild?”

Sucking in a breath, Sakumo shifted subtly closer to his wife who wrapped protective arms around her silk-sashed middle; just like Rin, they were dressed in summer-weight yukata of simple colours and patterns, the uchiwa hanging at their necks shinning in the late-afternoon light that played through the barred windows.

They looked terrified...

Perhaps they had every right to be...

“Hey, which would you prefer, hm? A brother or a sister? Eh? What? Aren’t you even a little excited? It’s a pretty big responsibility... heh, babysitting shouldn’t be too difficult between the two of us, either, you know, when the kid’s old enough... We didn’t do too badly during our fifth C-Ranked mission with the Tanaka triplets, after all” the Uchiha reasoned, his arms crossing as his shoulder nudged into the silver-haired man’s to prompt a response.

“Their child is nothing to do with us” he replied neutrally, his eyes turning away from the couple to focus on Obito instead. “Is the hour over? Can we go now?” he furthered, his legs pushing up to stand as Kagome, Sakumo and Rin watched, all three widening their eyes in desperation, pleading with him for... something he shouldn’t give...

“Kakashi...”

No, he couldn’t indulge them; he couldn’t have ties... no more strings, no more links to anyone or anything... He had to break them all, make sure that the Uchiha couldn’t manipulate him through them...

“It has been good to see you, chichi-ue... and Kagome-san, congratulations, I hope all goes well for you and the baby” he said, his eyes narrowing on a shocked (then delighted) world-ruler who was quick to join him.

“You sure? You still have twenty-minutes or so...”

“It’s fine” he cut in; he couldn’t look at Rin, he couldn’t look at any of them.

He would not allow either of them to use his family, his friends against him; if the bastards wanted him so damned much then they could fucking-well have him.

They would, anyway.

“Wait, please, Uchiha-sama, can he not stay with us, at least until the celebration? When we were revived, you said...”

Sakumo was standing; shit, fuck! What the hell was he doing?

“Maa~ Hatake-san, there’s no need for dramatics” Obito assured; his tone had a steel-like edge to it, though, and Kakashi knew enough about that sudden change to be instantly wary.

“Demo, Uchiha-sama, I have done everything you have asked, more than that, and I have worked incredibly hard to...”

“And your efforts, of course, have been noted” the raven-haired shinobi promised with a nod; “however, you are merely a citizen playing his role, a citizen with all the freedom and luxury that someone in Madara-sama’s favour is entitled to receive” he furthered, his eyes momentarily flashing sharingan red. “It would be a great shame for a soon-to-be-father to find himself, suddenly, out of favour now, wouldn’t it?”

“Uchiha-sama, I...”

“Oi, don’t we have somewhere else to be?” Kakashi interrupted, his right hand reaching out to snag Obito’s left; “there’s no need for this, for any of this, alright? You’ve won, you’ve won and that’s it, so can you just be satisfied? Threatening them, threatening anyone to get my cooperation is ridiculous and it’ll only make me hate you... or is that what you want?”

“Eh?! Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I don’t...”

“Then let’s go... and let them go, while you’re at it... dragging a pregnant woman here and scaring her half to death is one thing, but forcing her to stay for this meal or whatever when she should be at home resting is...”

“Alright, alright, fine” Obito sighed, his free hand rising in surrender; “Rin-chan, you’ll see them home and get back in time, right?”

“Demo, Obito, you promised that we could speak about...”

“Great, we’ll see you later, then” the Uchiha declared, his legs walking the Hatake who’d grabbed him towards the nearest wall with a jaunty little wave, his head cocking a smirk towards the Senjuu (Hashirama and Tobirama had also stood at the commotion; Mito was softly skirting her way to a quietly sobbing Kagome). “Fifteen minutes” he called, his tone light and amused.

“We wouldn’t want to start the party without you...”

~*~*~*~

He supposed he’d have to get used to the kamui walls, grand-sculptures, ancient vases, cultivated gardens, water-features and the like...

“Ano... I wasn’t sure if you were serious about cooking or not but, just in case, I’ve had a small, private kitchen with a store built... umm, I think that I put Akamichi Sango in charge of stocking it so, if you want anything in particular, just send one of your servants to the kitchens with a note...”

The palace seemed unending; he supposed it very well could be since the Uchiha had the power to alter and control dimensions at will. Whilst starting at the back of that ebony head, he wondered whether it was Hashirama’s cells, the Sage chakra or just some weird quirk of their kekkei genkai that allowed them to do everything they did without going blind.

“You have three of those, by the way, no one you know... Eto... I think that they were brought here from Suna... they’re all very polite, well-behaved and have been told to address you as Uchiha-sama, alright? Hmm, speaking of which, we’ll have to get you re-fitted for a ring... maybe in platinum this time?”

The servants all wore black (what better colour for mourning?), plain western-styled pants and tunic tops with the uchiwa brandished atop their hearts; everyone beside the actual Clan members (who bore the symbol upon their backs as was traditional) wore the symbol there like some kind of cattle-brand.

Were the collars truly not enough?

“Oh! And I almost forgot! We have five different kinds of onsen and I’ve also had an enclosure built for your ninken which backs on to the forest-borders... heh, not that they’ll need to be ninken anymore and I’m sure that Pakkun will enjoy his retirement... Maa~ won’t it be nice for him and the other’s to see Sakumo-san again?”

They’d been walking for at least ten minutes and still, with every window passed, with every servant whom stopped to bow and the pleasant chirping of birds and general thrum of shared conversation from an open door-way or two, Kakashi was beginning to feel dizzy.

Dizzy and trapped...

“Not that I want too much of your time taken up with people outside of the Clan... ano... both Itachi-kun and Shisui-kun want to see you at some in the next week or so but that all depends on Madara-sama, really...”

“Is that where we’re going? To see him?”

“Hai... you’ve been sorely missed these past ten years...”

“Has it really been that long? You don’t look any different...”

“Eh?! What do you call this?” Obito laughed through indignation, his free hand (for he was still pulling his prize along the infinite corridors, courtyards and hallways) stroking down his smooth, flawless face.

“Your scars were honest...”

“Mm, as honest as the eye you sacrificed to save me that day” the slightly older man murmured, his legs stopping so that he could regard and stroke down the dead skin marring Kakashi’s features; his frown deepened as they regarded each other. “I can have this fixed...”

“I’d prefer to keep it” the Hatake was quick to state; “but the sharingan...”

“I’d prefer you keep that, too... this way we’ll always be together, even when we’re apart...”

~*~*~*~

Sighing out in contentment, his body already shimmered to the look of his thirty-year old self, Madara lazed comfortably upon his (fittingly) Emperor sized bed, his obsidian eyes observing the gentle flutter of the various crimson, silver and ebony silks which adorned the four-posters and danced softly in the breeze flowing in through the opened terraced doors from his private garden.

A garden with a special set of hot-springs purely for himself and his guests to enjoy.

A knock at the gold-patterned doors had his soft pull into a smirk; “enter” he called, his gaze observing as the barrier parted to reveal Obito and their youngest concubine still wearing that hideous, mud-coloured garbage of a shinobi uniform.

“Descendent, why have you brought him to me in such a piteous state?” he sighed out in over-exaggerated exasperation, his eyes roving over the beautiful, collar-free creature who stood next to his protégé, that singular grey eye cautiously flitting from him to the expansive, decadent chamber.

Hmm...

“Gomen-ne, Madara-sama... Tobirama-sama still has ten minutes left and I have that important errand to run before tonight’s celebration, so I thought...”

“That Ashi-kun and I could use this time to become reacquainted? You’re so thoughtful, Obito” he purred, his burgundy-kimono glistening in the wake of his feline movements as he slinked and slipped his way off of the bed to descend the three-stepped dais.

“It is very good to see you, Ashi-kun... come here and let me see to that gift of yours; if you are well behaved, you’ll not only be allowed to keep it but I’ll also help you to develop your use of it” he said, his right hand moving to cup a cautiously rigid Kakashi’s scarred cheek.

“I don’t understand” the younger man breathed; “why would you...”

“Oh come now, Ashi-kun, you’re family and anyone capable of wielding our dojutsu should at least be able to do so to the best of their ability... and besides, I would much prefer to see you with both of those beautiful eyes open as opposed to keeping one closed... Ah, there, that should do it... and the scar?”

“He wants to keep it” Obito voiced; “that was a pretty big day for us all those years ago...”

“I see” Madara nodded, his own dojutsu flashing in order to check the Sage chakra’s work; pleased with what he found (and marvelling at the soft, amazed expression on the former Hatake’s handsome features) he then turned to blink at his heir. “Your errand?”

“Ah, yes, of course... I’ll see you both this evening” the younger Uchiha replied, his lips moving in to give Kakashi a quick peck on the cheek before stepping back and activating his kamui and twirling out of sight with a respectful bow to the patriarch.

“Well, come on then” the raven-maned world-ruler chuckled; “let’s get you cleaned up before Rama-kun makes his entrance” he instructed, his hand proffered for the silver-haired concubine to take.

“I have just the set of lily-scented soaps and oils for us to use and a beautiful set of kimono for the pair of you to wear this evening... hmm, but there’s nothing to say that our fun has to wait for this evening now, is there?”

~*~*~*~

Tobirama could only frown and watch whilst Hashirama, Mito, their children, grandson (Tsunade was being detained at the hospital and wouldn’t be visiting until the feast in four hours time) and his little brothers (both tearful) begrudgingly followed the Akatsuki sent to marshal them with only silent nods in his direction.

He’d promised them that he would endure, that he’d exploit any weaknesses he could find...

Such talk, he was sure, would get him into some kind of trouble but he would deal with such problems when they arose and not a moment sooner.

“Tobirama-sama, it’s such a pleasure to see you again...”

“Tch, am I meant to know who you are?”

“Nnnnhhhnnnnhhnnnn... no, no I suppose not... then allow me to introduce myself as we make our way to Madara-sama’s chambers, nah? My name is Hoshigaki Kisame... officially, I am Uchiha Itachi-sama’s personal honour guard...”

“Do not talk to me as though I am meant to care” the Niidaime snorted, his crimson gaze purposefully elsewhere whilst they walked to a seemingly solid wall; at the blue haired male’s touch, the partition gave way to a short corridor with a set of gold-encrusted doors at its end. “I have no intention of remembering you or any of your ilk during my time here...”

“So-da-na, so-da, I suppose that’s only fair” the taller man chuckled (as though this whole situation was one big joke to him) whilst his black, red-cloud accented arm gestured to the barriers with a flourish, his massive sword squirming at the chakra emanating from the room beyond. “Maa~ then I shall leave you to your work...”

“What did you just say?!” he found himself snapping, his eyes narrowed and chakra flaring; “how dare you...”

“Rama-kun, there’s no need for such animosity... we’re all friends here, after all...”

Snarling, his rage (like a torrent) surging towards the speaker, Tobirama turned, his hands preparing to sign before, with a bitten off growl, he paused at the sight that greeted him.

“Are you such a coward that you’d choose to hide behind a man whose family you hold hostage?” he snapped, his shoulders straightening as they regarded each other; Madara (bathrobe loosely tied) smirked from behind the naked (bar a short towel clutched to slender hips) man whose middle he was hugging.

“Ooh... hostage is such a strong word...”

“An appropriate one” the silver haired shinobi cut in, his crimson gaze narrowed whilst Kisame merely chuckled, bowed and made his way back through the still present opening; however, upon his departure, it sealed up to leave the three watching each other in a stand-off. “Are you happy now? Have you finally gotten everything that you wanted?”

“Mm, yes, aside for breaking the pair of you in to your new roles, I couldn’t be happier” the raven haired Sage replied, his chin moving to rest on Kakashi’s left shoulder. “I have so missed you, Rama-kun... won’t you come over here and join us, hmm?”

“Tch, giving me an illusion of choice is just your style, isn’t it? I have been told about the collars that our kin and your other slaves are forced to wear...”

“Ahh, harsher still” Madara sighed, a small pout tugging his lips; “Rama-kun, the collars won’t be needed in a generation or two... hai, when Mito’s latest child is a grandparent everyone will be used to my rule and the peace, the prosperity that I bring” he reasoned. “When that time comes, you’ll see that everything I’ve done was ultimately for the best... hmm, maybe sooner still... Hashirama seems to be coming around...”

“You underestimate us to our advantage” the Niidaime sneered before steeling himself, sucking in a breath and letting it loose with a sigh; “however, I can’t deny your sizeable advantage nor your influence, for now, at least” he admitted before walking forward. “I have no interest in sharing your time so leave Kakashi be and I’ll give you my unmitigated attention in exchange...”

“Oh? That’s a tempting offer, Rama-kun, but this is not a negotiation” the Uchiha patriarch grinned before jerking a startled, former Hatake back into the expansive bedchamber; “da-na, you can either join us or stand there, though, if my illusions are too mundane for you...”

~*~*~*~

Obito was certain that he’d been told to return to his ancestor’s chambers upon his return, and yet...

“Ahh... ahh... ahhh!!”

He wasn’t sure how Madara had garnered their cooperation (genjutsu, perhaps) but the sight of Tobirama rolling his hips into the parted flesh of a thrashing, straining Kakashi who was sprawled across the lavish, obsidian silk sheeted-bed on his stomach wasn’t something he’d expected to see...

“Ahh... ahh... ahhhh... ah!

The Senjuu’s hands were laced into the Hatake’s, his dove-white face stained pink and crimson across his cheeks and mouth as he panted into the sweat softened spikes of thrust-quivered silver hair...

“A beautiful sight, isn’t it?”

Gasping, Obito (his own face reddened) turned to see Madara stood beside him, the technically old man casually sipping at a champagne-flute, his eyes focused on the carnal display of two marbled gods trysting and writhing desperately against each other, the slightly shorter of the two whimpering and begging to be taken harder, faster...

“H-hai...” he heard himself breathe; “I had thought that you...”

“Mm? Oh, yes, well... I fully intend to take my turn as we still have two hours before the banquet but this... this is Rama-kun’s punishment” the patriarch said with a grin, his tongue flicking out to wet his dry lips when the Senjuu added more chakra to his movements, his nails scraping down lily-skinned arms to secure ivory hips as he buried himself more deeply into his pleasured-screaming partner.

“You and I have... mm... very different understandings of what... umm... a punishment is” the younger Uchiha murmured, his own arousal building steadily.

“Heh... can you believe that he tried to drown me in my favourite onsen outside? I had a good mind to drag Kawarama in here and gut him like a fish” the older male grumbled, a glance sneaking towards his descendent; “luckily for that snot-nosed brat, your little treasure there is wonderfully self-sacrificing...”

“Aaahhhh! Ah! Oh... there... there!!”

“Such a lovely little thing... Rama-kun has been fucking him solidly for a good forty minutes...”

“Whoa...r-really?”

“Mm? Ahh, don’t be jealous there, Obito-kun, you’ll have him all to yourself for the rest of the week, I promise” Madara chuckled; “but you’ll forgive this old man his pleasures now, won’t you?”

“O-of course, of course I just... how can you just look without touching for that long? You’re far more legendary than a mere Sage for that feat alone” the purple cloaked male breathed, his erection uncomfortably straining against the soft fabric of his pants.

“Heh, I’ll admit that it’s difficult but it’ll all be worth it when I do this” the smirking male purred, the fingers and thumb of his right hand snapping Tobirama out of the genjutsu he’d been trapped in just as he and his bed-mate came with twin cries of euphoria.

“W-what... no, no... I... Kakashi? I...”

“There, there, Rama-kun” the oldest of the group called from where he and his heir stood, his arms crossed smugly; “do you feel as though you’ve learned your lesson?”

Scowling thunderously, his sore, tired body carefully easing away from the quivering, exhausted man beneath him, Tobirama turned venomous eyes towards the pair, his mouth opening to...

“Ah, ah, ah... before you say or do anything that you’ll regret, you should consider that Ashi-kun can’t save your brother from my wrath for a second time this evening” he warned, his eyes swirling into the eternal pattern with a few, swift whirrs. “It’ll take a mere moment for poor, snivelling Kawarama and all of his fear of me to be here but, I think, an eternity for you to suffer the guilt of watching him die by your own hand...”

“You monster!!” the Senjuu snarled, his body shifting to sit in front of the Hatake who was slowly curling himself into passion-ruined sheets; “I’ll not forgive you any of this, not even if I live to see the end of this miserable world” he furthered before, his teeth gritting, he pushed himself off of the bed and descended the dais. “And I will hate you until it consumes me but, if I must, I will play your hellish little games and bow and kneel and beg if that’s what it’ll take to soothe your precious ego” he added, his naked form standing tall and proud as he boldly looked his tormentor in the eye. “So yes, I have learned my lesson, master” he furthered before, to Obito’s astonishment, the Niidaime knelt; those crimson eyes, colder than blood-soaked ice, never once left Madara’s.

“Very good” the patriarch complimented; “back to the bed with you, then” he instructed with a leer before regarding his protégé. “Why don’t you run-along and get cleaned up before joining us, um?” he asked, his smirk pulling into something truly terrible; “just don’t take too long...”

~*~*~*~

Kakashi grunted in shock at the feeling of his strength and vitality returning at a singular touch.

“That feels better, doesn’t it?”

Swallowing through his nod, his body kneeling on the (somehow) fresh, clean silk sheets of Madara’s expansive bed, the Hatake (Uchiha) flexed a few of his muscles and found that he didn’t have any aches or pains.

Tobirama, his handsome face troubled and tired, had not been granted the same privilege.

“Mm, now, Rama-kun... as a gesture of good-will, I shall have you prepared... in fact, since you enjoyed Ashi-kun so thoroughly, I think it only fair that he be the one to...”

“I... umm... I really don’t...”

“Oh?”

“I’ve never...” Kakashi tried to say, the high colour of his cheeks darkening a shade; “and I don’t...”

“Ah? A case of a little too much, too soon?” Madara chuckled; “very well, we shall use this as an educational experience then... Rama-kun, on all fours, please” he instructed whilst a shadow clone (which manifested without so much as a finger twitch) left its creator to secure and bring over a silver tray harbouring multiple bottles. “Come here” he ordered, his grin predatory whilst Tobirama stared resolutely at the golden, uchiwa-branded headboard; “mm, the scented oils of this era are vastly superior to what he and I would use when our love first began some hundred years ago... I do particularly enjoy the smell of this one” he murmured. “It’s a blend of cinnamon and vanilla... the merchant who presented to me said that it would both a warming and tingling sensation to what is already a very pleasurable experience” he continued, his left pouring a liberal amount onto the right.

“Did you enjoy the feel of that lily-oil Rama-kun used on you?”

“H-hai...”

“Good, good, now watch” the older murmured, his index finger slipping down between Tobirama’s parted cheeks to circle and lightly prod the tight, puckered entrance.

“Just get on with... ah!”

“Patience is a virtue, Rama-kun” the Uchiha chided, the finger having fully submerged; “ruining Ashi-kun’s lesson will not be tolerated” he added whilst slowly pulling the digit to and fro before adding the middle and ring finger to help widen the hot, tight channel he was exploring. “Now, it is always advisable to bathe beforehand for obvious reasons and applying copious amounts of oil help to ease the stretch whilst you search for...”

“Aaahhhhh!!”

Blinking, the memories of his own experience briefly flooding his mind, Kakashi tried his best not to squirm when Madara winked at him, his hand shoving the exploratory digits harshly against the prostate he’d found, causing the Senjuu to wail, his body buckling as he was wracked by pleasure.

“Aaahhh!”

“There we go” the patriarch purred; “you see, I can be merciful, I can be kind” he said softly before, his smirk (and that glint in his eyes that the Hatake was starting to associate with him being on his back or worse) tilting: “lie beneath him.”

“Madara, don’t...”

“Hush” the Clan leader cut in; “you are to get used to each other, enjoy each other as I and those whom I trust shall enjoy you” he stated, his gaze meeting Kakashi’s whilst the younger hesitated.

“This is but the first day of the rest of your lives...”

~*~*~*~

Tobirama hated how his body revelled in the heat of his distant relative, and yet...

“Kiss him... give him... that comfort...”

Soft lips eagerly opened to him as he rocked into the younger man whilst Madara thrust at his leisure; he was trying to be gentle, trying to ensure that his friend was pleasured as his right hand fisted the sheets near those silver strands whilst his left gripped the straining erection trapped between their muscle rippled stomachs.

“I... I’m... sorry...”
By the gods... the younger man was tight, supple and bone-numbingly hot; with every thrust, with each slide of his choked member inside of him, the crimson eyed warrior couldn’t quench the urge to push harder anddeeper to enjoy the silky channel’s constriction.

“It’s... it’s...”

Well, what could he expect the jonin to say?

There he was, coated in the passions of men who had no right to touch him, his family trapped, his world ended and future locked into a pattern... all tied up with strings spun by forces beyond his control...

At least he, Hashirama and their kin had lived past their current age, made their own decisions and died as proud, honourable shinobi for the protection of those they held dear...

“Ah...”

“Umm... you’re both getting... close...”

Oh, how he wished he’d done things differently; would it have been better if he’d ignored Mito’s warnings all those years ago? If he’d allowed Madara to court him openly, if he’d said ’yes’ when the older man had offered him a civil-partnership, if he’d become an Uchiha and supported the raven-haired man’s desire to become Hokage, could all of this have been avoided?

“Aaahhh... ahhh... ah!”

Unfortunately for Hatake Kakashi, his friends and this world, they would never know...

~*~*~*~

The feeling of two strong, muscular bodies writhing atop him was something that he was sure he’d never get used to; Tobirama’s shaft was long and nearly as thick as the Uchiha’s’ he’d been bedded by and, true to the sympathies the other had expressed, his every movement seemed geared to ensuring that this experience wasn’t painful.

Well, not physically, anyway...

“Ah!”

He was so close; for the fourth time in so many hours he felt the telltale signs of a climax building, his spread thigh aching as he struggled to tilt his hips to help the other (who was being very deeply rutted, himself) to slam against his prostate.

If this was his life now then he may as well enjoy what he could...

“K-Kashi...”

“Nnghh!”

“Oh... I had... almost forgotten... your tightness... Rama-kun-n...”