The Relationship Is the Job维系关系即是工作本质

What remains when we automate most manual labor and cognitive labor?当我们将大部分体力劳动和脑力劳动自动化之后，还剩下什么？

I

The myth of progress is that efficiency always wins: that the future belongs to solo geniuses with infinite leverage, aided by armies of machines that run themselves.
关于进步的神话认为效率永远制胜：未来将属于那些凭借无限杠杆效应的孤胆天才，他们身后还有能自主运转的机器大军作为后盾。

First, we automate the hands. Then we automate the head. With each technological wave, what was once skilled human labor becomes infrastructure. But the more we automate, the more we notice what’s missing.
起初，我们让双手实现自动化；接着，是头脑的自动化。在每一轮技术浪潮中，曾需人类技能完成的工作逐渐成为基础设施的一部分。然而，自动化程度越高，我们反而越能察觉那些无法被替代的部分。

This begs the obvious question: What remains when machines surpass us at manual and cognitive work? When do we prefer a flawed, imperfect human instead of a perfect machine — or an infinite number of them? We’re just beginning to ponder how much we still need people, and how to value them.
这自然引出一个问题：当机器在体力劳动和脑力工作上都超越人类时，什么才是我们独有的价值？在什么情况下，我们会宁愿选择有缺陷的真实人类，而非完美无缺的机器——甚至是无限复制的机器？人类才开始真正思考：我们究竟在多大程度上需要彼此，又该如何定义人的价值。

In this pursuit, we often point to traits like curiosity, creativity, willpower, attention, agency, and taste. Yes, these will all matter. But this essay isn’t about the ingredients of individual brilliance. It’s about the roles we want humans to play, the ones that make us valuable to each other beyond any single trait or skill.
在这一探索中，我们常提及好奇心、创造力、意志力、专注力、主观能动性和审美等特质。诚然，这些都至关重要。但本文探讨的并非个人才华的构成要素，而是聚焦于人类应当承担的角色——那些让我们彼此的价值超越任何单一特质或技能的存在意义。

I call this the third labor — Relational Labor.¹
我将此称为第三种劳动——关系型劳动。

Relational labor is an essential layer embedded alongside manual and cognitive labor — rooted in presence, context, commitment, and care.
关系劳动是与体力劳动和脑力劳动并重的核心维度，其本质在于在场性、情境感知、全心投入与人文关怀。

It’s the kind of work that doesn’t always show up in metrics, but you feel it in morale, momentum, and trust. And it lives in so many modern roles: cofounders, assistants, coaches, therapists, creative producers, teachers, social workers, doulas, chiefs of staff.
这类工作往往无法通过数据衡量，却真切地体现在团队士气、前进动力和彼此信任中。它渗透于众多现代职业角色：联合创始人、行政助理、职业教练、心理治疗师、创意制片人、教师、社工、分娩导乐以及幕僚长等。

Relational labor aligns, animates, and amplifies the other two kinds of labor.
关系型劳动能协调、激活并增强另外两种劳动形式的作用。

It’s why we hire for companionship as much as competence.
正因如此，我们在招聘时既看重能力，也注重志趣相投。

The job isn’t just the job. It’s the relationship.
工作不只是工作本身，更是人际关系的建立。

II

Startups give us a useful mirror.
初创企业为我们提供了一面有益的镜子。

The cofounder, the coworker — both are underrated. Consider the new aspiration: the billion-dollar solo founder. One person with infinite leverage, courtesy of AI.
无论是联合创始人还是同事，他们的价值常被低估。不妨树立一个新目标：成为身价十亿的独立创始人。凭借人工智能，一个人也能拥有无限的杠杆效应。

Yes, it’s possible. But it’s also lonely. And limiting. No one dreams of winning in a vacuum. We want people in the room — friends, co-conspirators, witnesses. Most meaningful work demands at least a few people, not just to handle strictly “productive” work, but to breathe life into the quest itself.
确实，独自成事并非不可能。但难免孤独，亦有局限。无人愿做孤胆英雄，我们渴望同路人——挚友、伙伴、见证者皆可。真正有意义的事业往往需要众人之力，不仅为完成所谓“生产任务”，更是为共同的目标赋予鲜活的生命力。

Someone who shares the burden, spots what you miss, finishes your half-thoughts, indulges your tangents, and still laughs at your bad jokes. AI might imitate that — with synthetic empathy, simulated guidance, algorithmic support — but one-sided relationships quickly become sycophantic.

People keep telling me how many more things I can do on my own now — with AI — and they’re right. I can write, build, launch, sell, automate — forever. I could assign an agent to every task — even companionship. And maybe it would do its job. But it’s so obviously spiritually vacant.

I’m not against a solo dinner or a solo quest once in a while. But I don’t want to live in a world where presence is just a product and relationships are just responsive interfaces. All this newfound leverage hasn’t lowered my need for human co-conspirators. It’s just raised the bar.

All this tech. I still want a teammate.

AI will flood the zone with intelligence. But as intelligence gets cheaper, presence gets more expensive. Real, earned, interpersonal trust will become the rarest currency. And relational labor is how that currency gets minted.

Working with the right person is exponential. We’ll be reminded of that again soon. The human teammate will be one of the most valuable roles of the future. When tech is everywhere, people are the new edge. Chemistry beats code.

III

Marc Andreessen argues that many jobs will remain safe from automation because they exist in regulated sectors — like healthcare, education, government.

These jobs are still safe — for now — because they carry risks no machine can yet assume, involve complexity no algorithm can yet automate, or rely on interfaces no technology can yet convincingly fake.

Many of these jobs — doctor, teacher, civil servant — have also been relational at their core. Do we still consciously value human presence in these domains, or do we simply fear its absence — or fear change itself?

Inertia, regulation, and entrenched incentives still hold the line for now. But ultimately, regulation can’t force markets and culture to value what they no longer do, and to employ people they no longer have to.

We’re used to paying for professional relationships, but we justify the cost as payment for output. What happens once most ‘output’ is automated, and markets are left to price relationships independently? Will we treat human partnership as a commodity, or watch it become a luxury? As Paul Graham points out, people accept there’s no “fair” price for a commodity — until the commodity is labor.²

Some interactions will get faster and more synthetic. But presence doesn’t scale, and that will make truly human work not just rare, but increasingly unequal. As teams get smaller and orgs flatten, the leverage of the relational role only grows. With luck, the future will start to look more like the past: relationships at the core. I’m so bullish on the resurgence of the right-hand man. Hell, maybe even the right-hand renaissance man. 10x is cool, but 1:1 might be more powerful.

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We’ve automated the hands. We’re automating the heads. What’s left is the heart — the third labor is relational labor: presence, commitment, and care. It’s the work machines can’t replicate because they can’t relate to us in the truest sense.

Life is better with good company. And companies, communities, homes are all better when full of life. It’s not about how many people, but about how human.

In a world of infinite machines with infinite output, the most irreplaceable work won’t be done by those who replace us, but by those who do it with us.

A timely example — Jobs once called Ive his “spiritual partner at Apple.” Their work was technical and creative. It was also deeply relational.

This is the first in a two-part essay series. Subscribe to get the next in your inbox. And if you enjoyed this essay, consider sharing it with a friend or community that may enjoy it too. I welcome reactions, reflections, & thought-provoking questions!

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1. I’m a longtime fan of Sociologist Arlie Hochschild’s thesis on “emotional labor.” I consider relational labor to be a broader umbrella under which emotional labor exists.

2. It is hard to really grasp ‘pricing’ relational labor in a market. We’ve always looked for other ways to triangulate to this value, relying heavily on the manual and cognitive labor bundled with it. With the unbundling of these two from humans, we’re a bit lost.