Chapter Index  章節目錄

CHAPTER ONE - WINTER CHAPTER TWO - SPRING CHAPTER THREE - SUMMER CHAPTER FOUR - FALL

Kenny has been to Hell hundreds of times, but never with a terrified, living person at his side. He's almost tempted to take Kyle's hand as they follow Satan— who's still in Stan's body — toward his lair at the heart of the ninth circle. Kyle is keeping his gaze pointed forward as they walk, staying close to Kenny, his face still very pale.
肯尼已經下過地獄數百次，但從未帶著一個驚恐萬分的活人在身邊。當他們跟著仍附身在斯坦體內的撒旦走向第九層地獄中心的巢穴時，他幾乎忍不住想牽起凱爾的手。凱爾始終緊盯著前方，緊挨著肯尼行走，臉色依然慘白得嚇人。

"Are you okay?" Kenny asks for the fifth or maybe sixth time, wishing he did have a Xanax to offer. Kyle answers in a tight shrug, not looking at Kenny.
「你還好嗎？」肯尼第五次或第六次問道，真希望手邊能有顆贊安諾給他。凱爾只是僵硬地聳聳肩作為回應，目光始終避開肯尼。

"I knew something was wrong," Kyle says, his voice a tiny tremble. "Just, just. I thought maybe he needed to go back on antidepressants. Not that he was. Satanic."
「我早覺得不對勁，」凱爾的聲音微微發顫，「只是...只是我以為他可能需要重新服用抗憂鬱藥。沒想到他居然...被撒旦附身。」

"He's not satanic, this happened against his will. And it's probably my fault."
「他不是惡魔附身，這並非他的本意。而且可能都是我的錯。」

"What?" Kyle turns to look at Kenny then, fury jumping onto his features. It reminds Kenny of Sheila: it's her precise what, what, what?? look, only with two fewer what's vocalized.
「什麼？」凱爾轉頭看向肯尼，臉上瞬間浮現怒意。那表情讓肯尼想起希拉：一模一樣的「什麼、什麼、什麼？」眼神，只是少說了兩次「什麼」。

"I've been fucking the son of Satan," Kenny says, sighing. "Because I thought I could prevent him from taking over the world that way. He's already taken over Hell, by ousting his father and throwing him into Stan's body. Damien might have targeted Stan because of me, because we're friends." Saying so, he's surprised, and very glad, that Satan didn't go after Butters instead. Stan will bounce back from this once they get Satan out of his body. Butters has been through enough.
「我一直在跟撒旦的兒子上床，」肯尼嘆氣道，「因為我以為這樣能阻止他統治世界。他已經推翻父親接管地獄，還把老撒旦塞進史丹的身體裡。達米安會盯上史丹，搞不好是因為我的關係——畢竟我們是朋友。」說這話時，他既驚訝又慶幸撒旦沒找上巴特斯。只要把撒旦從史丹體內趕出去，他肯定能恢復原狀。但巴特斯已經受夠折磨了。

"You've been fucking the son of Satan," Kyle says, dryly, his psycho killer stare still fixed on Stan. "Really."
「你跟撒旦的兒子上床，」凱爾面無表情地說道，殺人狂般的眼神仍緊盯史丹，「真有你的。」

"Yes, really. I thought I was doing something good, a kind of spiritual espionage via my asshole. But of course I screwed it all up. Of course I'm not a Second Coming of Christ, fuck. I just wanted to be, I guess, instead of whatever creature from the primordial ooze of time itself I actually am. I mean, Jesus is a cool guy. He helps people. Doesn't just get killed over and over and not even remembered. People remember the fuck out of Jesus."
「對，真的。我以為自己在做一件好事，某種透過屁眼進行的精神偵查。但當然我把一切都搞砸了。當然我不是什麼基督再臨，幹。我想我只是想成為那樣的人，而不是我實際上是從時間原始泥沼裡爬出來的某種生物。我是說，耶穌是個很酷的傢伙。他幫助人。不會只是不斷被殺死甚至沒人記得。大家他媽的記得耶穌記得要命。」

"I can't listen to this," Kyle says, turning away from him. "Stop talking."
「我聽不下去了，」凱爾說著轉過身去。「別再說了。」

"Okay. Sorry."  「好吧。抱歉。」

Kenny is secretly hoping Kyle will remember this trip to Hell and all of his deaths from now on, though if he had his choice of somebody to remember his deaths, it might not be Kyle, who is not the most sympathetic friend Kenny has.
肯尼暗自希望凱爾會記得這次地獄之旅和他從今往後的每一次死亡，不過如果要他選擇一個人來記住他的死亡，可能不會選凱爾——畢竟這可不是肯尼朋友圈裡最有同情心的一位。

"Okay," Satan says when they've arrived in his private office, which features giant windows that overlook the ninth circle's nicest lava lake. Satan takes his seat behind a massive desk. Stan's body looks ridiculous in Satan's office throne when he sits there. "Let's talk about what happens next."
「好吧，」當他們抵達撒旦的私人辦公室時，他說道。這間辦公室有著巨大的落地窗，能俯瞰第九層地獄最壯觀的熔岩湖。撒旦在一張龐大的辦公桌後坐下。當斯坦的身體坐在撒旦的辦公室王座上時，看起來相當滑稽。「我們來談談接下來的事。」

"You get out of Stan's body," Kyle says, speaking pretty sharply for someone who is giving the Prince of Hell a command. "Right?" he adds, less confidently.
「你離開斯坦的身體，」凱爾說道，語氣相當尖銳，彷彿是在對地獄之王下命令。「對吧？」他補充道，語氣變得沒那麼自信。

"Right," Satan says, slowly. "But, um. I kinda don't get why I haven't yet. Returning to Hell usually works. Damien must have done some super dark shit this time, the little fucker."
「好吧，」撒旦慢條斯理地說。「不過，呃。我有點搞不懂為什麼還沒成功。通常回地獄這招都管用的。達米安這次肯定幹了什麼超級邪惡的勾當，那個小王八蛋。」

"He's your son," Kyle says, sharp again. "Why can't you just— Get him back under your thumb?"
「他是你兒子，」凱爾又尖銳地說。「你為什麼就不能——把他重新掌控在手裡？」

"You obviously don't have kids."
「你顯然沒有小孩。」

"Of course I don't have kids! I'm seventeen years old!"
「我當然沒有小孩！我才十七歲！」

"Uh, let's see." Satan reaches for a big leather-bound book on his desk, straining when he can barely reach it with Stan's short arms. He has to use both hands to push it open, and he's breathless afterward. "Jesus," he says. "I'm so ready to be out of this body."
「呃，讓我看看。」撒旦伸手去拿桌上那本厚重的皮面書，用史丹的短手臂勉強搆著時顯得有些吃力。他得用雙手才能把書推開，之後還氣喘吁吁。「天啊，」他說。「我真是受夠這副身體了。」

As if he's cast a spell by saying so, Stan's body begins to shake all over, like Satan's words have set off an earthquake inside him. Kyle shouts in horror and Kenny slaps his hands over his mouth as they watch Stan's arms and legs grow bigger and longer, his skin taking on a red tint and his eyes turning yellow.
彷彿他的話語施了咒一般，史丹的身體開始劇烈顫抖，就像撒旦的話語在他體內引發了一場地震。凱爾驚恐地大叫，肯尼則摀住嘴巴，他們眼睜睜看著史丹的手臂和雙腿變得越來越粗壯，皮膚逐漸泛紅，雙眼轉為黃色。

From a distance, Kenny could swear he hears Damien's sick, cruel laughter, but when he turns he can't see the asshole anywhere.
肯尼遠遠地發誓他聽見了戴米安那病態又殘忍的笑聲，但當他轉身時，卻到處都看不到那個混帳的身影。

"No!" Kyle shouts. "No, what— Where— Where's Stan?"
「不要！」凱爾大喊。「不，什麼——史——史丹在哪裡？」

Kenny turns back to Satan's desk, afraid of what he'll see. It's Satan, just as Kenny remembers him: huge, red, horns, looking like he's about to give them some very bad news.
肯尼轉頭看向撒旦的辦公桌，害怕自己即將看到的景象。那正是肯尼記憶中的撒旦：巨大、紅色、長著角，看起來就像要告訴他們什麼壞消息。

"Uhhh," Satan says. "Shit."
「呃...」撒旦說。「該死。」

"What do you mean, shit?" Kyle is already hysterical, hyperventilating.
「什麼叫該死？」凱爾已經歇斯底里，呼吸急促。

"Damien!" Satan says, screaming. "Get the fuck in here! I'm summoning you, officially!"
「戴米安！」撒旦大吼著。「他媽的給我滾過來！我現在正式召喚你！」

Nothing happens. Satan sighs.
什麼事都沒發生。撒旦嘆了口氣。

"Shit. He's grown too powerful," Satan says. "Guys, look at me, look me in the eyes. Don't have kids. They'll fuck up your life."
「該死。他變得太強大了，」撒旦說。「大夥聽著，看著我，看著我的眼睛。千萬別生小孩。他們會毀了你的人生。」

"Stan!" Kyle screams, vaulting forward as if he's going to kill Satan with his bare hands, or at least shake him until Stan reappears. He draws up short and sobs, falls to his knees. "Stan," he says, weakly now. "Oh— Oh my god, no, I— I never even told him I love him!"
「史丹！」凱爾尖叫著往前衝，彷彿要用雙手殺了撒旦，至少也要把他搖到史丹重新出現為止。他突然停下腳步啜泣，跪倒在地。「史丹，」他現在虛弱地說。「喔——天啊，不，我——我甚至沒告訴過他我愛他！」

"Okay, wait," Kenny says, his heart pounding because he feels it, too: Stan is gone. Damien made it so that Stan would be destroyed, body and soul, by Satan's return to form. "But why?" Kenny asks aloud, "Why would Damien even want to do this?"
「等等，」肯尼說道，他的心臟狂跳，因為他也感受到了：史坦已經不在了。達米安讓撒旦恢復原形，徹底摧毀了史坦的肉體與靈魂。「但為什麼？」肯尼大聲問道，「達米安為什麼要這麼做？」

"I'll tell you why, slut."
「我來告訴你為什麼，賤貨。」

Kenny turns to glower at Damien, who has appeared according to Satan's summons after all, or maybe at his own pleasure, because he's smiling as if he's enjoying this scene very much: Kyle's panicked weeping, Satan's fist-clenched anger, and Kenny's utter confusion.
肯尼轉頭怒視著達米安，後者終究還是應撒旦的召喚現身了，又或者只是隨心所欲，因為他正微笑著，似乎非常享受眼前的場景：凱爾驚慌的哭泣、撒旦緊握拳頭的憤怒，以及肯尼完全的困惑。

"You see, Kenny," Damien says, strolling in and slipping his hands into the pocket of his bespoke leather pants. "I know that you thought you were fooling me. I was always aware that your whole seductive act was just a ploy to get information. Why do think I fucked you with barbs? Because I wanted your scrawny ass? Ha! I was pulling one over on you the whole time, my little cherub. There was no actual information to discover, as you might have eventually noticed if you weren't a complete, unparalleled idiot. I don't want to rule the pathetic Earth. Why would I, when I can do whatever the hell I want down here?"
「聽著，肯尼，」達米安說道，一邊悠閒地走來，一邊將手滑進他那訂製皮褲的口袋裡。「我知道你以為能騙過我。我一直都清楚你那套誘惑的把戲只是為了套取情報。你以為我為什麼要用帶刺的玩意兒上你？因為我喜歡你那瘦巴巴的屁股？哈！從頭到尾都是我耍了你，我的小天使。根本沒有什麼情報可挖，如果你不是個徹頭徹尾、無可救藥的白痴，遲早會發現這點。我才不想統治那可悲的人間。既然在這裡我能為所欲為，幹嘛要費那個勁？」

"You most certainly cannot!" Satan says, pounding the desk with one of his giant fists. "Damien, you will answer for this deception, you have destroyed a soul, that is no light—"
「你休想！」撒旦用他那巨大的拳頭猛捶桌面吼道。「戴米恩，你必須為這場騙局付出代價，你摧毀了一個靈魂，這可不是小事——」

"Shut up, Dad!" Damien shrieks, red in the face. "I'm doing my villain monologue! God! You ruin everything!"
「閉嘴啦，老爸！」戴米恩漲紅著臉尖叫。「我正在進行反派獨白耶！天啊！你每次都毀了一切！」

"Damien." Satan sighs and puts his hand over his face. "Just what the fuck is going on?"
「戴米恩。」撒旦嘆了口氣，用手摀住臉。「這他媽的到底是怎麼回事？」

"You like Kenny better than me!" Damien says, pointing. "That's what's going on, you pathetic excuse for a dark lord! You always did! Who did you go to when you wanted to talk? Not your immortal son, but this— Whatever the fuck he is! But I have destroyed him, utterly, by destroying the man he loves!" Damien cackles, pretending to be triumphant but actually kind of looking like he might burst into tears. "Take that!" Damien says, pointing his finger at Kenny now. "Angel whore!"
「你比較喜歡肯尼！」戴米恩伸手指控。「這就是真相，你這個遜斃了的黑暗領主！一直都是這樣！你想談心時找誰？不是找你永生的親生兒子，而是這個——管他媽的什麼東西！但我已經徹底摧毀他了，透過毀掉他愛的人！」戴米恩發出尖笑，假裝勝券在握卻又像快要哭出來。「接招吧！」他現在指著肯尼罵道。「天使婊子！」

"Um," Kenny says. "What?"
「呃，」肯尼說。「啥？」

"Which part do you need me to repeat? The part where I double crossed you and fucked you raw while you deluded yourself with the idea that you were taking demon cock for the good of the world? Ha! Or the part where I used my father's previous possession of that pathetic human you lusted after to ensure that, when the time came, he would repossess Stan Marsh and inadvertently destroy him upon return to Hell, body and soul, so that you can't fuck the love of your life even here in Hell?"
「要我重複哪一段？是我背叛你、趁你幻想著為了世界大義吞下惡魔老二時直接上了你的那段？哈！還是我利用我爸先前附身過你垂涎的那個可悲人類，確保時機一到他會重新佔有斯坦·馬什，在返回地獄時不經意間摧毀他的肉體與靈魂，讓你連在地獄都操不到此生摯愛的那段？」

"Noo," Kyle says, his head pressed to the floor while he goes on sobbing. "Please, no, it can't be—"
「不要，」凱爾說著，頭抵著地板繼續啜泣。「拜託，不要，這不可能是——」

"First of all," Kenny says, teeth grit. "I don't know where the fuck you got the impression that Stan is the love of my life, but he's the love of Kyle's life, idiot! I—" Kenny stops short of saying something about Butters. Damien would go after him next.
「首先，」肯尼咬牙切齒地說。「我他媽不知道你哪來的印象覺得斯坦是我的一生摯愛，但他是凱子的一生摯愛好嗎，白癡！我——」肯尼硬生生把關於巴特斯的話吞了回去。要是說出口，戴米恩下一個就會找上他。

"No," Damien says, frowning. "It was Stan— I sensed it. The first time you ever jerked your sad human cock off it was to the thought of Stan Marsh sucking on it."
「不，」戴米恩皺著眉頭說。「是史丹——我感應到了。你第一次可悲地打手槍時，腦海裡想的就是史丹·馬許幫你口交的畫面。」

"Well, yeah, when I was thirteen! Things fucking change, dumb ass, and anyway that was just a sex fantasy! Are you seriously this clueless about the human heart?"
「靠，那是我 13 歲時的事好嗎！事情他媽的會變啊，白癡，再說那只是性幻想而已！你對人心真的這麼沒概念嗎？」

"Wha—" Damien sputters, looking at Kyle. "Oh, shit, are you serious? I destroyed that guy? But I wanted to destroy you! Utterly!" He moans, stomps his foot. "I wanted you to mourn this human soul for all eternity!"
「啥——」戴米恩結結巴巴地看著凱爾。「噢，靠，你是認真的嗎？我幹掉那傢伙了？但我明明想徹底毀掉你啊！」他哀號著跺腳。「我本來要讓你為這條人命哀悼到天荒地老的！」

"Damien, goddammit," Satan says. "I hearby banish you to Uncle God's house. You're staying with him until you learn to appreciate all I've given you down here."
「該死的，戴米恩，」撒旦說道。「我現在正式把你放逐到上帝叔叔家。在你學會珍惜我在這裡給你的一切之前，你就待在那裡吧。」

"What! No!"  「什麼！不！」

Satan says and gestures with his hand. Damien disappears, leaving behind only a puff of sulfuric smoke.
撒旦說著並用手比劃。達米安消失了，只留下一縷硫磺味的煙霧。

"He's in a better place now," Satan says when Kenny looks at him, as if to comfort himself. "Well, not better, but more suited to the discipline he needs. A couple centuries of charades will do the spoiled little prick good."
「他現在在一個更好的地方了，」當肯尼看向他時，撒旦這麼說道，彷彿是在安慰自己。「呃，也不是更好啦，但更適合他需要接受的管教。玩上幾世紀的猜謎遊戲對這被寵壞的小混蛋有好處。」

"That's all fine and good," Kenny says, glancing at Kyle, who has slumped over onto his side on the floor now, still crying quietly. "But what about Stan?"
「這些都很好，」肯尼說著，瞥了一眼凱爾，他現在已經癱倒在地板上，仍在低聲啜泣。「但史丹怎麼辦？」

Satan sighs.  撒旦嘆了口氣。

"I'm afraid Stan is gone," he says.
「恐怕史丹已經不在了，」他說道。

Kyle whimpers and curls in on himself. Kenny drops to his knees, defeated. All he's managed to do with this indeed delusional plot to save the world is ruin everything.
凱爾啜泣著蜷縮成一團。肯尼跪倒在地，徹底潰敗。他這個妄想拯救世界的瘋狂計畫，最終只摧毀了一切。

"There's got to be some way," Kenny says. "What if I sacrificed myself on an altar or something? So that I could never come back, not here or on Earth?"
「總會有辦法的，」肯尼說。「要是我在祭壇上獻祭自己之類的？這樣我就永遠回不來了，不管是這裡還是地球？」

"Dude, I have no clue how your powers work," Satan says. "And if you could be killed for good like that, I'm pretty sure Damien would have done it already. No, but—" Satan sighs and glances at Kyle. "Considering the amount of staggering grief this boy is in right now, there may be a way."
「老兄，我完全搞不懂你的能力是怎麼運作的，」撒旦說。「而且如果你真的能那樣被徹底殺死，我很確定戴米安早就動手了。不過——」撒旦嘆了口氣，瞥了凱爾一眼。「考慮到這孩子現在承受的巨大悲痛，或許還有辦法。」

"What?" Hearing this, Kyle sits up like a shot has been fired, his wet eyes shooting open. "What way, how? I'll do anything!"
「什麼？」聽到這話，凱爾像被槍擊般猛地坐直身子，濕潤的雙眼瞬間睜大。「什麼方法？快說！我什麼都願意做！」

"Hmm." Satan glances at Kenny and fidgets in his chair. Seems suddenly uncomfortable. "Well. There is a way. But it's a mighty sacrifice."
「嗯。」撒旦瞥了肯尼一眼，在椅子上不安地扭動著。突然顯得有些不自在。「這個嘛...是有個辦法。但代價可不小。」

"Anything!" Kyle grabs the front of Satan's desk. "What do you need? My life? Take it! As long as Stan's soul can exist here, and mine alongside his—"
「什麼都行！」凱爾一把抓住撒旦的辦公桌邊緣。「你需要什麼？我的命？拿去吧！只要斯坦的靈魂能在這裡存在，而我的靈魂也能與他同在——」

"Oh, Kyle." Satan sighs and flips through the leather-bound book again. "Your willingness to give up your life is touching, but I'm afraid it's a bit more— Intimate than all that. This spell."
「噢，凱爾。」撒旦嘆了口氣，再次翻動那本皮面裝幀的書。「你願意犧牲生命的決心確實感人，但恐怕這咒語需要更...親密的舉動。」

"What spell? Tell me, hurry! I can't stand to exist anywhere if Stan's soul is gone, I can't do it—"
「什麼咒語？快告訴我！如果斯坦的靈魂消失了，我無法忍受存在於任何地方，我做不到——」

"His soul isn't entirely gone," Satan says. "Not just yet. There's still a tiny essence of it lingering in this body that has reformed from what was once Stan."
「他的靈魂還沒完全消失，」撒旦說道。「還沒那麼快。這具由曾經的史坦重塑而成的軀體裡，仍殘留著一絲靈魂本質。」

"Good!" Kyle says, laughing, wild-eyed. "What must I do?"
「太好了！」凱爾大笑著說，眼神狂熱。「我該怎麼做？」

"I should really be the one to do whatever sacrifice is required," Kenny says, walking forward. "Since this is all your fault."
「這種犧牲應該由我來做才對，」肯尼邊往前走邊說，「畢竟這全都是你的錯。」

"Oh, it's not really your fault, Kenny, it's mine. I didn't raise Damien with the real satanic values that would have—"
「噢，這其實不是你的錯，肯尼，是我的錯。我沒能用真正的撒旦價值觀來養育戴米安，否則他早就——」

"Stop talking to Kenny and tell me what to do!" Kyle shrieks, trying and failing to shake Satan's giant desk with his hands.
「別再跟肯尼講話了，快告訴我該怎麼辦！」凱爾尖叫道，徒勞地試圖用雙手搖晃撒旦的巨大辦公桌。

"Or me," Kenny says. "I mean it, Satan. I'd like to do this for Stan and Kyle. This is still my mess to clean up."
「或者我來，」肯尼說。「我是認真的，撒旦。我想為史丹和凱爾做這件事。這爛攤子終究該由我收拾。」

"I'm afraid it can't be you, Kenny. Though I'm not clear on all your powers or where they come from, one thing I know is that you can't give birth to a human soul. It would become twisted if it emerged from your— Body."
「恐怕不能是你，肯尼。雖然我不清楚你所有的能力或它們從何而來，但有一件事我很確定——你無法孕育人類的靈魂。如果從你的...身體裡誕生，它會變得扭曲。」

"Oh." Kenny frowns and looks at Kyle, who is also frowning. "Wait. What?"
「喔。」肯尼皺起眉頭看向同樣眉頭深鎖的凱爾。「等等。什麼？」

"Look, I'm just gonna spit this out, because time is of the essence. In my next ejaculation, the soul of Stan Marsh will be present. Faint, but present, and it could gestate into a whole human soul again, within the right carrier."
"聽著，我就直說了，因為時間緊迫。在我下次射精時，史丹·馬許的靈魂會附著其中。雖然微弱，但確實存在，只要找到合適的載體，就能重新孕育成完整的靈魂。"

"The right— Carrier?" Kyle says. "Like. Stan's mom?"
「那個——凱莉？」凱爾說。「你是說...史丹的媽媽？」

"No, I can't leave Hell again to retrieve her, because the sperm that contains Stan's soul would be invalidated if I returned to Earth, and I don't have the to summon people down here remotely if they're not dead, or to remotely kill them—"
「不行，我不能再次離開地獄去帶她回來，因為如果我回到地球，含有斯坦靈魂的精子就會失效，而且我無法遠程召喚活人下來這裡，也無法遠程殺死他們——」

"So, what?" Kenny asks. "How?"
「所以呢？」肯尼問道。「怎麼說？」

"Uh. Well, the carrier has to be a living human, and there's only one of those present in Hell at this time."
「呃。這個載體必須是個活人，而目前地獄裡只有一個這樣的人。」

They both look at Kyle. He flinches.
他們兩個都盯著凱爾看。他畏縮了一下。

"I don't understand," Kyle says. "You're saying you would— Impregnate someone? But I'm a man! I don't have a womb."
「我不明白，」凱爾說。「你是說你會——讓某人懷孕？但我是男的！我沒有子宮。」

"Well," Satan says, slowly. "I do have the power to give you one."
「好吧，」撒旦緩緩說道。「我確實有能力給你一個。」

"You— What? Why would you have that power?"
「你——什麼？你怎麼會有那種能力？」

"Look, lots of people have a phobia of pregnancy! It's a legitimate Hell-based method of torture."
「聽著，很多人都有懷孕恐懼症！這可是地獄認證的合法酷刑手段。」

"But then what?" Kenny asks as Kyle staggers backward, absorbing that. "Kyle would, like. Give birth? To a baby Stan?"
「但那之後呢？」肯尼問道，凱爾踉蹌後退，消化著這個訊息。「凱爾會...呃...生下小孩嗎？一個小史丹？」

"That's right. Fortunately, human time moves very fast in Hell, and children grow up quickly here. Damien certainly did." Satan allows himself a wistful sigh before continuing. "So basically, Kyle would be pregnant for the equivalent of like, two human weeks? And then, rough estimate, the newly created Stan, who would possess the soul of the original Stan and would look just like him and all that— He would be back to eighteen years of age in like, hmm. Five months, I'd say."
「沒錯。幸好地獄裡的時間流逝得飛快，孩子們在這裡成長得特別迅速。達米安就是個活生生的例子。」撒旦語帶感嘆地繼續說道：「所以基本上，凱爾只需要經歷相當於人間兩週的孕期？然後呢——粗略估算——這個擁有原始史丹靈魂、長相完全複製的新生史丹，大概五個月左右就能重新長回十八歲的模樣。」

"So we could return to Earth with Stan in time for college to start!" Kenny says, turning to Kyle, who has gone very white.
「這樣我們就能及時帶斯坦回地球，趕上大學開學了！」肯尼轉向臉色發白的凱爾說道。

There's a long silence. Satan picks up a giant pen on his desk and fidgets with it, looking apologetic.
一陣漫長的沉默。撒旦拿起桌上的巨型鋼筆把玩著，神情顯得有些歉疚。

"Um," Kyle says, his voice quite small. "So. You're saying. I can have Stan back. Like he was. WIth his soul. But I have to let you fuck me and— Get me pregnant. With Stan."
「呃，」凱爾的聲音變得很小。「所以你是說...我可以讓史坦回來。像以前那樣。擁有靈魂的史坦。但我必須讓你上我...還要...懷上史坦的孩子。」

"Oh, no way," Satan says. "Sorry, but, like. I'm not into topping, so. We'd use a turkey baster full of my sperm to get you pregnant. But otherwise yeah, that's what's up."
「噢，不可能，」撒旦說。「抱歉，但就像，我不喜歡當主導的那方，所以。我們會用裝滿我精液的土耳其注射器讓你懷孕。不過除此之外沒錯，就是這樣。」

Kyle sinks to his knees on the floor of Satan's office. Kenny walks to him and kneels behind him, touches his shoulder.
凱爾跪倒在撒旦辦公室的冰冷地板上。肯尼走到他身後，單膝跪地，輕輕搭上他的肩膀。

"Dude," Kenny says. "I'm so—"
「老兄，」肯尼說。「我超——」

"Get. The fuck. Away from me. Kenny."
「滾。他媽的。離我遠點。肯尼。」

"Sure thing, sorry, yeah."
「當然，抱歉，對。」

Kenny backs away slowly. Kyle is breathing heavily, his hands in shaking fists over his bent knees. When he stands, there's a fire in his eyes that would rival Damien's.
肯尼緩緩後退。凱爾呼吸急促，雙手在彎曲的膝蓋上方握成顫抖的拳頭。當他站起身時，眼中燃燒的怒火足以與達米安匹敵。

"Okay," he says, his voice only shaking a little. "I said I'd do anything. I meant it."
「好吧，」他說道，聲音只微微顫抖著。「我說過我願意做任何事。我是認真的。」

"Great!" Satan writes something in his leather-bound book. "If I could just get your signature here, we'll begin."
「太好了！」撒旦在他那本皮面裝訂的書上寫了些東西。「只要你在這裡簽個名，我們就可以開始了。」

Kyle signs. Kenny feels sick, but there's nothing to be done. Satan steps away to find a turkey baster big enough to contain his forthcoming ejaculation.
凱爾簽了名。肯尼感到一陣噁心，但已經無能為力。撒旦走開去找一個夠大的火雞注射器，來裝他即將射出的精液。

"I'm here for you, man," Kenny says, keeping his distance. Kyle raises his lip and looks at Kenny out of the corner of his eye.
「兄弟，我挺你。」肯尼保持著距離說道。凱爾撇了撇嘴，用眼角餘光瞥向肯尼。

"I don't want you to be fucking here for me," Kyle says. "If I'm really going to be down here for over five months, giving buh— Recreating Stan, and then, like? Raising him, or—? Anyway, I won't leave Stan down here to grow up alone, even if it's only going to take five months. You need to go back to Earth and tell my parents I'm okay. Tell Stan's, too. Tell them we're having a gay crisis and we ran away together, I don't give a fuck. Say we'll be back in August to finish our final exams and then go to college. Don't let Ike have my car."
「我不需要你他媽的在這陪我，」凱爾說。「如果我真的要在這待上超過五個月，重新創造出史丹，然後呢？養育他嗎？總之，我不會把史丹獨自留在這裡長大，就算只要五個月也一樣。你得回地球告訴我爸媽我沒事，也告訴史丹的父母。就說我們遇到同志危機所以一起私奔了，我他媽才不在乎。說我們八月會回去參加期末考然後上大學。別讓艾克開我的車。」

"Is Ike even old enough to drive?"
「艾克年紀夠大可以開車了嗎？」

"Fuck you, Kenny! Get the fuck out of here and do as I say! Now!"
「幹你媽的，肯尼！給老子滾出去，照我說的做！現在！」

Kenny runs.  肯尼拔腿就跑。

 

-Mad Tuna-  《當南園的燈火熄滅時，第三章－夏日》

 

---

Two weeks of pregnancy in Hell has been no picnic, but Kyle is still dreading what comes next when he feels his water break, coursing as hot as Hades over the insides of his thighs and down his legs. He's nude, as usual, because he's too consistently overheated to tolerate clothing, and he knows he should be relieved that the endless torment of attempting to waddle around in his birthing quarters with the giant stomach that contains baby Stan is coming to an end, but part of him wants to deny that this is it: his actual water breaking and not just some other kind of weird side effect having to do with the fact that his body has been re-engineered to allow a baby to emerge from his ass.
在地獄懷孕的這兩週可不是什麼輕鬆事，但當凱爾感覺到羊水破裂時，他依然對接下來要發生的事感到恐懼。滾燙如冥河的液體從他大腿內側流下，順著雙腿流淌。他像往常一樣赤身裸體，因為持續的高溫讓他無法忍受衣物。他知道自己應該感到解脫——那個裝著小史丹的巨大肚子終於不用再折磨他，讓他在產房裡蹣跚而行——但某部分的他仍想否認這個事實：這真的是破水，而不只是他身體被改造後從屁股生出嬰兒所導致的某種奇怪副作用。

"Pip!" he screams, hoping the goddamn doula is in earshot. Despite all the magical interference that's been done to his body, Kyle still has no real powers. "It's happening!"
「皮普！」他大喊，希望那個該死的助產士能聽見。儘管他的身體已經被施加了各種魔法干預，凱爾仍然沒有任何真正的超能力。「要開始了！」

He hears scrambling out in the house, and scowls at Pip when he pokes his head into Kyle's room and sees him soaked in sweat from head to toe as usual, and now also soaked in— Whatever comes out when your water breaks and you're also a man who is about to give birth. Kyle supposes it's normal amniotic fluid. It's clear, anyway, and doesn't smell as disgusting as it feels.
他聽見屋內傳來一陣慌亂的聲響，當皮普探頭進凱爾房間時，凱爾對他皺了皺眉。只見凱爾像往常一樣從頭到腳都浸在汗水裡，現在還浸在——當羊水破了時流出的液體裡，更別提你還是個即將分娩的男人。凱爾猜想那應該是正常的羊水。總之它是透明的，而且聞起來沒有感覺上那麼噁心。

"Oh, jolly good!" Pip says. "I was hoping it would happen today. Two weeks right on the dot!"
「噢，太棒了！」皮普說道。「我就希望今天會發生。整整兩週，分毫不差！」

"Fuck you, Pip. Get in here and help me."
「去你的，皮普。快進來幫我。」

Kyle struggles to sit up in bed, waves of abdominal pain beginning to wrack through him as Pip flits about the room preparing things. There's an actual cradle, which implies that soon there will be an actual baby, and Kyle has a hard time wrapping his mind around that, but he's been all in with this plan from the start, because why not? It's not like he can live without Stan anyway, or with the memory of having stood there doing nothing while they watched Stan's body give way to Satan's.
凱爾掙扎著在床上坐起身，腹部開始陣陣抽痛，而皮普在房間裡忙進忙出準備東西。那裡有個真正的搖籃，意味著很快會有一個真正的嬰兒，凱爾很難理解這一切，但他從一開始就全心投入這個計劃，因為何樂而不為？反正沒有史丹他也活不下去，更無法忍受當初眼睜睜看著史丹的身體被撒旦佔據時，自己卻束手無策的記憶。

"Is Satan even going to show up for this?" Kyle asks as Pip dabs at his forehead with a towel. "I mean, I don't want him in the room, but if he was around, that might be nice."
「撒旦真的會來嗎？」凱爾問道，皮普正用毛巾輕拭他的額頭。「我是說，我不想他在房間裡，但如果他在附近，感覺還不錯。」

"I'm afraid I don't know where the old devil is right now," Pip says. "But surely he'll sense your distress and come at once!"
「恐怕我現在也不知道那老惡魔在哪，」皮普說。「但他肯定會感應到你的困境，馬上趕來的！」

"I'm not distressed," Kyle says, but soon he's screaming, because yes, of course he is. This is a surreality beyond the normal parameters of South Park. His ass will never be the same, and what's he supposed to tell Stan as he rapidly ages in Hell? I used to be your best friend, then your fuck buddy, then I gave birth to you via my ass and now you're my— Son? Kyle groans at the concept, though Satan has assured him that Stan will have none of Kyle's genetic material when he reemerges. That Kyle is merely his incubator. Great, perfect! Kyle screams again and throws his head back when the pain takes all thoughts from his mind.
「我才沒有苦惱，」凱爾說道，但沒多久他就開始尖叫，因為沒錯，他當然在苦惱。這已經超越南方公園平常的荒誕尺度。他的屁股再也回不去了，而當史丹在地獄裡急速老化時，他該怎麼解釋？我們曾經是最好的朋友，後來變成炮友，接著我從屁股把你生出來，現在你成了我的——兒子？光是想到這點凱爾就呻吟起來，雖然撒旦保證過，當史丹重生時身上不會帶有任何凱爾的基因。凱爾只是個孵化器罷了。太棒了，完美！當劇痛淹沒所有思緒時，凱爾再次尖叫，仰頭向後倒去。

"Breathe, now!" Pip says, still dabbing at him with that fucking towel. "Like we practiced!"
「深呼吸，快！」皮普說著，手裡還拿著那該死的毛巾替他擦拭。「就像我們練習的那樣！」

"I fucking hate you, Pip!" Kyle shouts when he's able to speak again, his teeth grit. He must look pretty scary right now, because Pip shrinks away as if he's afraid Kyle might bite him.
「我他媽的恨死你了，皮普！」凱爾咬牙切齒地吼道，當他終於能再度開口時。他現在的表情肯定很嚇人，因為皮普畏縮地往後退，彷彿害怕凱爾會撲上來咬他似的。

"Oh, you don't mean that!" Pip says, actually daring to smile again.
「噢，你才不是那個意思！」皮普說道，竟敢又露出笑容。

"Yes, I do! I do mean it! I want to rip your throat out with my teeth! If you weren't already dead I would have killed you brutally on at least seven separate occasions in the past two weeks!"
「沒錯，我就是這個意思！我想用牙齒撕開你的喉嚨！要不是你已經死了，過去兩週我至少有七次機會可以殘忍地殺掉你！」

"Heh," Pip says, glancing at the door as if he hopes Satan will show up and take over with the midwifery, though Pip is the one who has been ordered to do it. "Well, I'm awfully sorry you feel that way, Kyle, I tried to give you the best care I could—"
「呵，」皮普說著，朝門口瞥了一眼，彷彿希望撒旦能現身接手接生工作——儘管奉命執行這任務的人明明是他。「這個嘛，凱爾，你這麼想我真的很抱歉，我已經盡力提供最好的照顧了——」

"Arrrghh!!!" Kyle writhes and sobs when the pain is worse than ever, rolling through him at a pace that he's not sure his human body can take, magic or not. "Fucking— fuck! I can't do this."
「啊啊啊！！！」凱爾痛苦地扭動啜泣著，這波劇痛來得比以往都猛烈，以他凡人之軀幾乎無法承受的速度在體內肆虐，管他什麼魔法不魔法。「幹——該死！我撐不住了。」

"Sure you can."  「當然可以。」

That's Kenny, or maybe just a hallucination of Kenny, appearing with a worried look and a bag of what looks like bagels from Kyle's favorite bakery on Earth. Kyle growls Kenny, not caring if he's real or imaginary at the moment, though it would be nice if those bagels were real.
那是肯尼，或者只是肯尼的幻覺，他帶著擔憂的表情出現，手裡拿著一袋看起來像是從凱爾最愛的地球麵包店買來的貝果。凱爾低吼著肯尼的名字，此刻不在乎他是真實還是幻覺，雖然如果那些貝果是真的就太好了。

"Oh, thank goodness!" Pip says, apparently seeing Kenny, too. "You came just in time!"
「噢，謝天謝地！」皮普說，顯然也看到了肯尼。「你來得正是時候！」

"Pip, get out of here," Kenny says. He deposits the bagels on a side table and rolls up the sleeves on his parka. "I'll handle this."
「皮普，離開這裡，」肯尼說。他把貝果放在一旁的桌上，捲起羽絨外套的袖子。「我來處理。」

"Have you delivered a baby before?" Pip asks, fretful. Kenny glowers at him.
「你以前接生過嗎？」皮普憂心忡忡地問道。肯尼惡狠狠地瞪了他一眼。

"No," Kenny says. "Have you done this before, you French fuck?"
「沒有，」肯尼說。「你這法國混蛋以前幹過這種事嗎？」

"I'm not French, actually, or anyhow I wasn't—"
「其實我不是法國人，或者說至少以前不是——」

"Get him out of here!" Kyle bellows. "Fuck!"
「把他弄出去！」凱爾大吼。「幹！」

Pip runs. Kenny sighs and stares down at Kyle, his face full of sympathy that makes Kyle want to punt him into the lava lake that his birthing room has decent view of.
皮普拔腿就跑。肯尼嘆了口氣，低頭盯著凱爾，臉上滿是同情的表情讓凱爾恨不得把他踹進產房窗外那潭看得一清二楚的熔岩湖裡。

"I brought you bagels," Kenny says. "For after."
「我帶了貝果給你，」肯尼說。「等結束後吃。」

"Ah— after, right. When my ass is as stretched out as yours was after Damien was through with you."
「啊——結束後，對。等我的屁股被操得跟你被戴米安搞完後一樣鬆垮的時候。」

"Dude, it'll bounce right back, mine did—"
「老兄，它會馬上彈回來的，我的就——」

Kyle screams again, in part just to shut Kenny up.
凱爾再次尖叫，一部分只是為了讓肯尼閉嘴。

The whole process only takes five minutes, according to Kenny, who tells Kyle this later. To Kyle it feels like approximately five days of brutal pain, and the cries of an infant aren't exactly a relief when it's over, because that is Stan, somehow, and he just came out of Kyle's ass. Kyle rolls onto his side and weeps pitifully while Kenny cleans wailing baby Stan in the bath water Pip had prepared for him.
根據肯尼後來告訴凱爾的說法，整個過程只花了五分鐘。但對凱爾來說，這感覺像是經歷了約莫五天殘酷的疼痛，而當一切結束時，嬰兒的哭聲並未帶來多少安慰，因為那不知怎麼地就是史丹，而他剛從凱爾的屁股裡鑽出來。凱爾側身蜷縮著可憐兮兮地哭泣，此時肯尼正用皮普事先準備好的洗澡水清洗嚎啕大哭的嬰兒史丹。

"Are you gonna have him circumcised?" Kenny asks when the baby has been quieted and swaddled in a blanket, fussing softly in Kenny's arms. "Since you're Jewish?" Kenny asks when Kyle turns to snarl at him hatefully.
「你要幫他割包皮嗎？」肯尼問道，此時嬰兒已經安靜下來，被毯子包裹著，在他懷裡輕輕扭動。「因為你是猶太人？」當凱爾轉頭對他投以憎恨的怒視時，肯尼又補上一句。

"You're joking with me?" Kyle says. "Right now? Really?"
「你在跟我開玩笑嗎？」凱爾說。「現在？真的假的？」

"Sorry. Aw, look, Kyle. It's Stan."
「抱歉。噢，凱爾你看，是史丹。」

Kyle can't look. He covers his eyes with his hand and sniffles, trying to believe that his ass is going to be okay again someday and wondering if his stomach will always be all stretched out and gross. Satan has made claims that he can fix everything so that Kyle is back to normal after the birth, but he's fucking Satan. Lying is pretty much his main thing.
凱爾無法直視。他用手遮住眼睛抽泣著，試圖說服自己總有一天屁股會恢復正常，同時擔心肚子會不會永遠這麼鬆垮噁心。撒旦聲稱產後能讓凱爾完全恢復原狀，但他可是他媽的撒旦——說謊根本就是他的看家本領。

Nevertheless: the baby that has arrived somehow truly is Stan, just as promised. When Kyle has given himself a sponge bath and recovered enough to halfway think straight, he allows Kenny to help him from the birthing bed and onto a clean reclining sofa, and he only hesitates for a moment when Kenny places baby Stan into his arms.
然而：不知怎麼地，那個抵達的嬰兒確實就是史丹，正如承諾的那樣。當凱爾用海綿擦澡讓自己恢復到勉強能思考的狀態後，他讓肯尼協助他從產床移到乾淨的躺椅上。當肯尼將小史丹放入他懷中時，他只遲疑了片刻。

 

-Bamfcrawler-  《當南園的燈火熄滅時，第二章－春》

 

"Jesus Christ," Kyle says, starting to cry again. He sniffles and looks up at Kenny. "This is some fucked up shit right here, dude."
「天啊，」凱爾說著又開始哭了。他吸了吸鼻子，抬頭看著肯尼。「這他媽的太扯了，兄弟。」

"Yeah," Kenny says, smiling. "But it's also the miracle of life."
「是啊，」肯尼笑著說。「但這也是生命的奇蹟。」

"Fuck you, Kenny. And bring me those bagels."
「去你的，肯尼。還有把那些貝果給我帶來。」

"It's actually croissants and a donut."
「其實是牛角麵包和一個甜甜圈。」

"I don't care if it's a fucking loaf of bread, I'm starving, give me that bag!"
「我管他媽的是不是一條麵包，我快餓死了，把那袋東西給我！」

Kyle eats two croissants and the donut while crying and holding Stan with his free arm. Stan is sleeping. Kyle is trying to be grateful that he doesn't have to breastfeed. Satan assures him that babies born in Hell don't need human food of any kind. That they grow up naturally without it. Kyle can't imagine a worse existence, except for his own, at the moment, of course.
凱爾一邊哭著，一邊用空著的手臂抱著熟睡的史丹，同時吃了兩個可頌麵包和一個甜甜圈。他試著讓自己感恩至少不用哺乳這件事。撒旦向他保證，在地獄出生的嬰兒根本不需要任何人類食物，他們不吃東西也能自然長大。當然，此刻的凱爾實在無法想像還有什麼比這更悲慘的存在——除了他自己現在的處境之外。

"How's my mom doing?" Kyle asks when he's finished eating and feeling close to passing out. Kenny's cagey look in response to this question perks Kyle back up, however. "What?" Kyle asks, frowning. "What's that face you just made? Is my mom okay?"
「我媽還好嗎？」凱爾吃完飯後問道，感覺自己快昏過去了。然而肯尼聽到這問題時閃躲的眼神，卻讓凱爾瞬間清醒過來。「怎樣？」凱爾皺眉追問，「你剛剛那是什麼表情？我媽沒事吧？」

"Oh, yeah, yeah," Kenny says, too hurriedly. "She's fine."
「喔，對對，」肯尼回答得太過急促。「她很好。」

"Kenny. Don't fucking lie to me."
「肯尼。別他媽的對我撒謊。」

"I'm not!"  「我才沒有！」

"You are! Something is wrong. I can tell. Fucking lay it on me, why not? What's more misery heaped onto Kyle Broflovski, first man to give birth to a genuine human child in hell?"
「你就是！一定有什麼不對勁。我看得出來。他媽的有種就說啊，怕什麼？還有什麼比凱爾·布羅夫洛夫斯基更慘的？這傢伙可是地獄裡第一個生下真人類小孩的倒楣鬼！」

"Uhh." Kenny is seated across from Kyle's reclining sofa, in a rocking chair that he's now nervously rocking back and forth in, his elbows on his knees and his fingertips pressed together. "Hmm. How to phrase this."
「呃。」肯尼坐在凱爾躺椅對面的搖椅上，此刻正緊張地來回搖晃著，手肘撐在膝蓋上，指尖相互輕觸。「嗯，該怎麼說才好。」

"How to phrase what."
「該怎麼表達才好。」

Kyle braces himself. After what he just went through, what could possibly even phase him? It's not as if his parents are dead. They would be here to meet their surrogate grandson if so.
凱爾深吸一口氣。經歷了剛才那些事，還有什麼能動搖他？反正他父母又沒死。要是真死了，他們現在應該會來見這位代孕孫子才對。

"Well," Kenny says slowly, returning his anxious gaze to Kyle's. "As you know, prior to your descent into Hell, Cartman had befriended your father."
「這個嘛，」肯尼慢條斯理地說，將他焦慮的目光重新投向凱爾。「你也知道，在你墜入地獄之前，卡特曼已經和你老爸混熟了。」

"Uh-huh," Kyle says flatly, alarms beginning to sound at the back of his mind.
「嗯哼，」凱爾平淡地回應，腦後警鈴開始大作。

"Yeah, well. When you disappeared with Stan, when I gave them the note like you told me to and everything, your parents were real distraught, of course. Sheila sought solace in her faith and started going to synagogue a lot. Gerald, um. He took a different route."
「是啊，那個...當你和史丹一起失蹤時，我照你說的把字條交給他們後，你爸媽當然是傷心欲絕。希拉從信仰中尋求慰藉，開始頻繁地去猶太會堂。至於傑拉德嘛...他走了另一條路。」

"What route?" Kyle asks, biting the words out. "And what's Cartman got to do with this?"
「什麼路線？」凱爾咬牙切齒地問道。「還有卡特曼跟這件事有什麼關係？」

"Cartman moved in with your parents!" Kenny winces after saying so. "He, um. He's living in your old room."
「卡特曼搬去跟你爸媽住了！」肯尼說完後皺了皺眉。「他，呃。他現在住你以前的房間。」

"Oh, Jesus, that's all? I mean, it's disgusting and terrible, sure, but it's not the end of the world. Did Liane throw him out, or lose her house to the bank, or what?"
「噢，天啊，就這樣？我是說，這確實很噁心又糟糕，但還不至於是世界末日。是莉安把他趕出去，還是她的房子被銀行收走了，還是怎樣？」

Kenny takes a deep breath. Still seems to be steeling himself to drop some bigger bombshell.
肯尼深吸一口氣。看起來仍在為即將拋出更震撼的消息做心理準備。

"Cartman and your dad are together," Kenny says, opening his hands in a gesture that asks for mercy. "Dude, I'm sorry. They're in love. Or so they say. Mutually. And your mom's okay with it. I'm not sure if it's a threesome-type situation, exactly, but—"
「凱子和妳老爸在一起了，」肯尼雙手一攤，擺出求饒的姿勢。「兄弟，我很抱歉。他們相愛了。至少他們是這麼說的。兩情相悅。而且妳媽也接受了。我不確定是不是三人行的關係啦，但——」

"Stop talking."  「閉嘴。」

Kyle looks down at baby Stan, who is nuzzling at Kyle's bare chest. Stan may not need breast milk, but he does need human affection. Kyle strokes Stan's black hair and tries not to think about what he's just been told. No, that's Earth business. Fuck everyone up there. Kyle's business is here, in his arms.
凱爾低頭看著懷中的小史丹，他正依偎在凱爾赤裸的胸膛上。史丹或許不需要母乳，但他確實需要人類的關愛。凱爾輕撫著史丹的黑髮，試著不去想剛才聽到的消息。不，那些都是地球上的破事。去他媽的上面那些人。凱爾的世界就在這裡，在他懷抱之中。

"You're all I have left in a world gone mad," he says, softly, to Stan.
「在這個瘋狂的世界裡，你是我僅存的一切。」他輕聲對史坦說道。

"Also me," Kenny says.
「我也是，」肯尼說。

"Get the hell away from me, Kenny."
「給我滾遠點，肯尼。」

"Jesus, don't shoot the messenger! I wasn't even gonna tell you, but you forced me—"
「老天，別遷怒於傳話的人啊！我本來根本沒打算告訴你的，是你逼我——」

"Get out!"  「滾出去！」

 

-Mad Tuna-  《當南園的燈火熄滅時，第三章－夏日》

 

Kenny goes, and Kyle sighs and whispers apologies when Stan wakes up and cries, frightened by the volume of Kyle's voice. Kyle is going to have to be more careful. He's got a lot to learn about infant care.
肯尼離開後，史丹醒來被凱爾的大嗓門嚇哭，凱爾嘆了口氣輕聲道歉。他得更加小心才行，關於照顧嬰兒還有很多要學的。

"At least you won't be raised by a couple of depraved psychopaths," Kyle says to Stan, his eyes growing wet again. "Like I was, apparently."
「至少你不會被一對墮落的精神病養大，」凱爾對史丹說，眼眶又濕了起來。「顯然我就沒這麼幸運。」

As promised, Stan grows quickly. By the time another week has passed up on Earth, he's crawling. In another week he's beginning to talk in baby gibberish. His first real word is "ball," maybe because that's his favorite toy, despite the fact Satan has showered Stan with many finer things. As Stan continues to grow, Satan is often around, a little too often for Kyle's liking, and Kyle begins to get the impression that Satan is trying to vicariously relive the days of Damien's childhood through this new black-haired baby.
正如承諾的那樣，史丹成長得很快。地球上的時間才過了一週，他已經會爬了。再過一週，他開始咿咿呀呀地學說話。他第一個真正會說的詞是「球」，或許因為那是他最愛的玩具，儘管撒旦已經給史丹準備了許多更高級的禮物。隨著史丹持續成長，撒旦經常出現在他身邊——對凱爾來說實在有點太頻繁了——凱爾開始覺得撒旦似乎想透過這個黑髮嬰兒，間接重溫當年撫養戴米安童年的時光。

"You may not," Kyle says, clutching approximately 3-year-old Stan to his chest when Satan shows up to ask if he can take Stan on a fun boat ride through the lava lake.
「不行。」凱爾說道，當撒旦出現詢問是否能帶史丹搭乘小船來趟穿越熔岩湖的歡樂之旅時，他緊緊摟住約莫三歲大的史丹。

"Aw— Why not? Look, I'd be able to keep him safe, you know that! I'm Satan, this is Hell! I control everything here!"
「啊——為什麼不行？聽著，我可以保護他的安全，這點你很清楚！我可是撒旦，這裡是地獄！這裡的一切都由我掌控！」

"You don't control me," Kyle says, glowering. "And you don't control Stan. Remember, your out of control son got us into this mess in the first place. I know we're at your mercy to some extent, but please. Have some respect for my authority over the child that I had to birth from my very own ass. He didn't come out of your ass, Satan! He came out of mine."
「你控制不了我，」凱爾怒目而視。「你也控制不了史丹。記住，是你那失控的兒子先害我們陷入這種困境。我知道某種程度上我們得任你擺佈，但拜託。對我這個從自己屁股裡生出孩子的人有點尊重好嗎？他可不是從你屁股裡蹦出來的，撒旦！他是從我屁股裡出來的。」

Kyle may be going slightly insane. Though it will present new and increasingly awkward challenges, he's really looking forward to Stan developing into a kid who can actually hold a semi-rational conversation, for the sake of having some real company down here.
凱爾可能有點要瘋了。雖然這會帶來新的、越來越尷尬的挑戰，但他真的很期待史丹能成長為一個能進行半理性對話的孩子，這樣在這下面好歹能有個真正的伴。

"I healed your ass, though," Satan says, mumbling. Kyle raises his lip.
「不過我治好了你的屁股，」撒旦咕噥著說。凱爾撇了撇嘴。

"That doesn't erase the memory of the state it was in prior to your healing," Kyle says. "Or the fact that pretty soon I'll have to explain to my best friend that he came out of my ass."
「這並不會抹去你被治癒前那副德性的記憶，」凱爾說。「更別提我很快就得向我最好的朋友解釋他是從我屁股裡蹦出來的這個事實。」

"Ass?" Stan says, tugging on one of Kyle's curls.
「屁眼？」史丹說著，一邊拉扯凱爾的一綹捲髮。

"Shh," Kyle says. He smoothes Stan's hair down. It's so dry down here, and Stan's hair is so thin; it's always full of static, clinging to Kyle's palm now. "You don't want to go on some silly boat ride, do you?" Kyle asks Stan. "Don't you want to stay here with Kyle?"
「噓。」凱爾輕聲說道，一邊撫平史丹的頭髮。這裡的空氣太乾燥了，而史丹的髮絲又如此細軟；總是充滿靜電，此刻正黏在凱爾的手掌上。「你不想去坐什麼愚蠢的遊船吧？」凱爾問史丹，「難道你不想留在這裡陪凱爾嗎？」

"Kyle," Stan says in confirmation, clinging to him. "No boat."
「凱爾，」斯坦緊抓著他確認道。「沒有船。」

"He has spoken," Kyle says coolly to Satan, who is sighing and backing toward the door. "Good day to you, sir."
「他說得夠清楚了。」凱爾冷冷地對撒旦說道，後者正嘆著氣往門口退去。「祝您有個愉快的一天，先生。」

"I never get anything good," Satan mutters, sounding an awful lot like his son.
「我從來沒得到過什麼好東西，」撒旦咕噥著，聽起來簡直跟他兒子一個樣。

---

It's July 1st in South Park, and Kyle Broflovski has ruined everything.
南帕克正值七月一日，凱爾·布羅夫洛夫斯基搞砸了一切。

Cartman has been eighteen years old for five full hours now, and he should be impaled on his lover's dick for at least the third time in so many hours, but Gerald is still all limp and weepy because Kyle ran off to marry Stan in Vegas or whatever, and he hasn't even verbally committed to giving Cartman the birthday present that he's been asking for since April.
卡特曼已經整整十八歲五個小時了，照理說他早該被愛人的老二插個至少第三回才對。但傑拉德至今仍軟趴趴地哭哭啼啼，就因為凱爾跑去拉斯維加斯跟史丹結婚還是怎樣，甚至連口頭承諾要給卡特曼四月份就開始討的生日禮物都還沒兌現。

"Hey," Cartman says, breathing this into Gerald's ear. They're in Kyle's bed, which is now Cartman's bed, pretty much. Sheila and Ike are still asleep, most likely, because it's five o'clock in the morning. "Mr. B," Cartman says, whispering this in his most seductive voice. "Gerry," he tries, though he hates that nickname, because Sheila uses it sometimes. He pokes Gerald in the ribs and rests his chin on Gerald's shoulder. "Ey, babe," Cartman says when Gerald turns to squint at him. "It's my birthday."
「嘿，」凱子對著傑拉德耳邊輕聲說道。他們現在躺在凱爾的床上，不過那基本上已經是凱子的床了。雪拉和艾克應該還在睡，畢竟現在才凌晨五點。「B 先生，」凱子用他最撩人的氣音喚道。「小傑，」他又試著叫了一聲，雖然他超討厭這個綽號——因為雪拉有時候會這樣叫他。他用手指戳了戳傑拉德的肋骨，把下巴靠在他肩膀上。當傑拉德轉頭瞇眼看他時，凱子開口：「欸，寶貝，」「今天是我生日。」

"Oh." Gerald rubs his eyes and sighs, rolls onto his back. He sighs a lot now, and has started playing gambling games on his phone. Cartman is going to tell Sheila on him, maybe, but the thought of getting Gerald in trouble seems backward somehow. "Happy birthday, Eric," Gerald says. He pats Cartman's cheek tiredly.
「喔。」傑拉德揉了揉眼睛，嘆了口氣，翻身仰躺。他現在經常嘆氣，還開始在手機上玩賭博遊戲。凱子可能會向雪拉告狀，但想到要讓傑拉德惹上麻煩，不知怎地感覺不太對勁。「生日快樂，艾瑞克。」傑拉德疲憊地拍了拍凱子的臉頰。

Cheek pats: That's all Gerald has left for Cartman after Kyle's selfish flight from South Park in pursuit of Marsh's cock. Cartman gives Gerald a hopeful poke in the thigh with his morning wood. Gerald sighs again.
拍臉頰：這就是傑拉德在凱爾自私地離開南方公園去追尋馬許的雞雞後，留給卡特曼的全部了。卡特曼用他晨勃的老二充滿希望地戳了戳傑拉德的大腿。傑拉德再次嘆了口氣。

"Eric," he says. "I know you want to lose your virginity today. I'll— Try to get into the right mindset to do that, but you know I'm still depressed. And I'm certainly not doing it in Kyle's bed."
「艾瑞克，」他說。「我知道你今天想破處。我會——試著調整好心態來做那件事，但你曉得我還在憂鬱。而且我絕對不會在凱爾的床上搞。」

Cartman grunts. Gerald thinks he's a virgin, because Cartman is afraid that disclosing that he's been boned by Kyle like a hundred times would probably lessen Gerald's opinion of him or perhaps just muddy the waters uncomfortably. He kind of hopes Kyle never comes back, so that information will never come out, though possibly it wouldn't even if Kyle did return, because Kyle sure as shit won't want Stan knowing.
卡特曼咕噥了一聲。傑拉德以為他是處男，因為卡特曼擔心如果透露自己已經被凱爾上了大概一百次，可能會讓傑拉德對他的評價降低，或者只是讓情況變得尷尬難堪。他有點希望凱爾永遠別回來，這樣這個秘密就永遠不會曝光，不過就算凱爾真的回來了可能也不會說出去，因為凱爾那傢伙肯定不想讓史坦知道。

"Could I at least blow you?" Cartman asks, annoyed.
「至少讓我幫你吹一下嘛？」卡特曼不耐煩地問道。

Gerald closes his eyes and shakes his head. "It's still difficult for me to get aroused," he says.
傑拉德閉上眼睛搖了搖頭。「我還是很難興奮起來，」他說。

"Yeah, no kidding, that's why your wife is stepping out on you with the rabbi!"
「對啊，不開玩笑，這就是為什麼你老婆跟拉比搞外遇啦！」

"She's not— Really? You think they're having sex? I feel like she'd tell me. And Rabbi Eckstein doesn't really seem like he's in an open marriage—"
「她沒有——真的嗎？你覺得他們在搞外遇？我覺得她會告訴我。而且艾克斯坦拉比看起來也不像是開放式婚姻的人——」

"I was being figurative! Do you want me to go down to church and start blowing Jesus instead?"
「我只是打個比方！難不成你要我去教堂改吹耶穌嗎？」

"You— What now?"  「你——現在是怎樣？」

"It was a metaphor," Cartman says, rolling away from him angrily. Fuck Kyle! Cartman always knew that daywalker bitch would ruin his life. He hopes Kyle burns in Hell. "Hey, so, question," Cartman says, reaching back to find Gerald's hand when Gerald spoons up behind him, his sad soft dick resting against the small of Cartman's back. "Would you be willing to bone if I could procure a Viagra for you?"
「那只是個比喻啦，」凱子氣呼呼地翻身躲開。去他的凱爾！凱子早就知道那個半吸血鬼賤貨會毀了他的人生。他巴不得凱爾在地獄裡被火烤。「欸，問你喔，」當傑拉德從背後貼上來，把那根軟趴趴的玩意抵在他腰窩時，凱子反手摸索著抓住傑拉德的手，「要是我能弄到威而鋼，你願意來一發嗎？」

"I hate the thought of needing Viagra," Gerald says, mumbling. "And the idea of using it to deflower you is incredibly depressing."
「我討厭想到自己需要威而鋼，」傑拉德低聲咕噥著。「更別說還得用它來奪走你的第一次，這想法簡直讓人沮喪到不行。」

"Everything is incredibly depressing to you! Jesus!"
「所有事情對你來說都超級鬱悶！天啊！」

"I'm sorry, Eric. If you have children someday, you'll understand."
「對不起，艾瑞克。如果你將來有孩子，你就會明白。」

"If I— who am I gonna have children with? You think you're going to get me pregnant or something?" Cartman's heart is beating fast. Is Gerald saying this is just a temporary thing to him? Just a stepping stone toward Cartman finding his own weird-ass woman like Sheila to marry him despite his sexual appetite?
「如果我——我要跟誰生孩子？你以為你會讓我懷孕還是怎樣？」卡特曼的心跳得很快。傑拉德是在說這對他來說只是暫時的嗎？只是卡特曼在找到像希拉那樣願意嫁給他、儘管他有性慾的怪女人之前的一個墊腳石？

"Gay men can adopt now," Gerald says. "It's not so uncommon."
「男同志現在可以領養小孩了，」傑拉德說。「這沒什麼好大驚小怪的。」

"Don't call me a gay man." Cartman pushes Gerald's hand away and gets out of the bed.
「別叫我同志。」卡特曼推開傑拉德的手，從床上爬起來。

"Why shouldn't I call you that? You're a man now, as of today." Gerald sounds sad about it now, whereas he'd once been looking forward to it with the perennially hard dick of a teenager himself.
「我為什麼不能這麼叫你？從今天起，你就是個男人了。」傑拉德此刻聽起來有些感傷，儘管他曾經也像個永遠硬梆梆的青少年那樣期待這一天的到來。

"Fucking Kyle!" Cartman says, unable to hold it in anymore. He's standing naked in the middle of Kyle's room, wanting to tear all the posters off the walls and shred them while Gerald watches like a sad sack from the bed. "He's fucked me over for the last time!"
「該死的凱爾！」阿ㄆㄧㄚˇ終於忍不住爆發。他光溜溜站在凱爾房間中央，恨不得把牆上所有海報都撕下來扯爛，而傑拉德像個可憐蟲似地坐在床上看著這一切。「這是他最後一次耍我了！」

"I wonder if Kyle got wind of what's going on between me and you," Gerald says, covering his face with his head. "Sheila doesn't think so, but I can't help wondering if that's why he ran away from home."
「我在想凱爾是不是察覺到我們之間的事了，」傑拉德用雙手摀著臉說道。「雪拉覺得不可能，但我忍不住懷疑這就是他離家出走的原因。」

"That's bullshit and you know it! That note Kenny brought said Kyle's having a gay crisis with Stan. Who the fuck even has a gay crisis anymore? It's so fucking nineties of him, typical."
「少在那邊唬爛了！肯尼帶來的紙條明明就寫凱爾因為史丹在經歷同志危機。現在都什麼年代了還有人在搞同志危機？他根本就是 90 年代的老古板，典型到不行。」

"I wonder if the gay crisis he was referring to is mine," Gerald says. "Oh, god." He pulls the blankets up over his head. "I just want him to come home! Then everything would be fine."
「我在想他提到的那場同志危機是不是指我的，」傑拉德說。「噢，天啊。」他把毯子拉起來蓋住頭。「我只希望他快點回家！這樣一切就會沒事了。」

"Yeah," Cartman says, doubtfully. "Except where would I sleep?" He's not sharing the fucking master bedroom with Gerald and Sheila. She's just not his type, and the feeling is mutual, though she's actually been pretty cool about, like, feeding him, and letting him cuddle with her husband in a pre-sexual fashion, and stuff. He still plans to steal Gerald from her, but his method for doing so has been compromised by Kyle.
「對啦，」凱子半信半疑地說。「但我睡哪？」他死也不要跟傑拉德和希拉共用主臥室。那女的根本不合他胃口，而且對方也這麼覺得——雖然她人其實還不錯，會給他東西吃，還准他用那種不帶性暗示的方式跟她老公摟摟抱抱什麼的。他還是打算把傑拉德從她身邊搶過來，只是這計畫被凱爾那傢伙給搞砸了。

"Well, you'll all go off to college," Gerald says, speaking from beneath the blankets. "Aren't you going to CSU?"
「嗯，你們都會去上大學的，」傑拉德窩在毯子底下說道。「你不是要去科羅拉多州立大學嗎？」

"Yeah, but I was gonna commute from my mom's house, and now this is my house, so— God, forget it! What does it matter? This is the worst birthday ever."
「對啦，但我本來打算從我媽家通勤的，現在這變成我家了，所以——天啊，算了！這有什麼差別？這是我有史以來最爛的生日。」

Gerald starts weeping softly from beneath the blankets. Cartman rolls his eyes. He dresses and storms out of the house, determined to start having great birthday fun before sunrise. Fuck Gerald! Fuck every Broflovski ever, since the dawn of time, fuck Stan Marsh for stealing Kyle away from his family with the siren call of his uncut donkey dick, and fuck Kenny for knowing where they are and not telling anyone because he swore he wouldn't. Cartman offered Kenny three hundred bucks cash to reveal the location of those runaway fucks, then offered to blow him, then offered that Kenny could fuck his ass, and he got turned down every time. Kenny fucking sucks. Being eighteen sucks. Everything sucks.
傑拉德在毯子底下輕聲啜泣。卡特曼翻了個白眼。他穿好衣服衝出家門，決心在日出前開始享受超棒的生日樂趣。去他媽的傑拉德！從開天闢地以來所有布羅夫斯基家的人都該死，斯坦·馬許用他那根沒割包皮的驢屌像海妖歌聲般把凱爾從家人身邊拐走也該死，還有肯尼明明知道他們在哪卻因為發過誓就閉口不說的混蛋也該死。卡特曼開價三百塊現金要肯尼透露那群翹家混蛋的下落，後來甚至提議幫他口交，最後還說肯尼可以幹他屁股，結果每次都被拒絕。肯尼他媽的爛透了。十八歲爛透了。所有事情都爛透了。

Cartman climbs into his truck and has a moment where he's pretty sure he's going to burst into tears, but he holds it off until he drives up to the makeout point where he used to park with Gerald, before the Kyle incident. As he watches the sun rise, Cartman starts blubbering, then sobbing, then wailing and wheezing, because he just wants this one fucking thing and his life is so unfair.
卡特曼爬進他的卡車裡，那一刻他幾乎確定自己就要崩潰大哭，但他硬是忍住，直到把車開到那個他以前常和傑拉德停車約會的觀景台——在凱爾事件發生之前。當他看著太陽升起時，卡特曼開始抽泣，接著嚎啕大哭，最後變成歇斯底里的哭嚎與喘息，因為他他媽的只想要這一樣東西，而他的人生實在太不公平了。

Somehow he ends up at a 10:00 AM showing of Zoolander II, even though he didn't like the first Zoolander. Mostly he just wants to shovel popcorn and candy into his face until he's sick, and he glowers at the girl behind the concession stand when she tells him they don't normally have the popcorn machine running this early in the morning. When his jumbo popcorn bucket with extra butter is finally done, the concession stand girl shoves his snack tray at him, collects his $40.00 in cash and hands back a few coins in change. Cartman hurries away, ready to be the encompassing dark of an empty theater while a stupid movie blares down onto him, its soundtrack drowning out the sound of the crunching and chewing that will take place as soon as he tears these five packets of candy open and dumps at least two of them into his popcorn. Probably he'll need a soda refill halfway through. If Gerald were here, he would offer to get it for Cartman so he wouldn't miss the movie. That happened once. Cartman's eyes are wet again as he pushes into the theater.
不知怎麼的，他最後還是看了早上十點場的《名模大賤諜 2》，儘管他根本不喜歡第一集。他主要只是想狂嗑爆米花和糖果直到反胃，當零食櫃檯的女生告訴他這麼早爆米花機通常還沒開時，他還惡狠狠地瞪了她一眼。當他那桶加量奶油的特大爆米花終於到手時，櫃檯女孩把餐盤推給他，收下 40 元現金後找了幾枚硬幣。凱子快步離開，準備獨自沉浸在空蕩戲院的黑暗中，任由愚蠢的電影聲浪轟炸自己——只要他撕開這五包糖果，把至少兩包倒進爆米花裡，咀嚼的喀嚓聲就會被電影配樂徹底淹沒。演到一半大概還得續杯可樂。要是傑拉德在的話，肯定會主動幫他去裝，這樣就不會錯過劇情。以前有過這麼一次。凱子推開影廳門時，眼眶又濕了。

Due to this, he doesn't notice the other two people in the theater until he's seated. They're sitting in the sixth row, over on the side, as if they don't actually care about the movie at all. It's two blond guys who are whispering together— no, making out passionately during the previews. Goddammit. Cartman can't deal with this shit right now. Not on his fucking birthday. He pitches a Raisinet at them, then another, and on the third try he finally hits one of them square on the head. Kenny sits up and glares at him, Butters still cowering.
正因如此，直到入座後他才注意到影廳裡還有另外兩個人。他們坐在第六排靠走道的位置，看起來對電影根本毫不在意。那是兩個金髮小子，在預告片播放時交頭接耳——不對，根本是在熱烈接吻。該死的。卡特曼現在可沒心情處理這種鳥事，尤其還是在他媽的生日這天。他朝他們扔了一顆葡萄乾巧克力，接著又扔一顆，第三次總算直接命中其中一人的腦袋。肯尼直起身子瞪著他，巴特斯則仍縮在一旁。

"Ha!" Cartman says. "You two? I should have known. What happened to that Mercedes-driving sadist you used to call your Master, eh, Kenny? He dumped you so now you're slumming with bubble butt there?"
「哈！」卡特曼說。「你們兩個？我早該知道的。肯尼，你以前稱作主人的那個開賓士的虐待狂怎麼啦？他甩了你，所以你現在就跟那個翹臀小子混在一起了？」

"Shut up," Kenny says.
「閉嘴啦，」肯尼說。

"Ooh, brilliant comeback." This is actually just what Cartman is in the mood for: ragging on some local losers. He's cheering up already. "Butters, I can see you, okay, you can stop hiding."
「喔，這反擊真精彩。」這正是阿ㄆㄧㄚˇ現在最想做的事——嘲弄幾個在地魯蛇。他的心情已經好轉了。「阿ㄆㄧㄚˇ，我看得到你啦，別躲了。」

"Eric," Butters says, his voice pinched when he sits up and peers at Cartman with those watery blue eyes that Cartman once kind of admired, sort of. "Please don't tell anymore."
「艾瑞克，」阿ㄆ一ㄚˇ用那雙水汪汪的藍眼睛盯著他，聲音緊繃地坐起身來。那雙眼睛曾經讓阿ㄆ一ㄚˇ有點欣賞——大概吧。「拜託別再說了。」

"Don't tell them what?" Cartman asks. "That you'd go down on Kenny in a theater?"
「別告訴他們什麼？」卡特曼問道。「說你會在電影院裡幫肯尼口交嗎？」

"He wasn't—" Kenny glowers, as if he thinks he actually looks threatening or something. "Cartman," he says. "If you get Butters in trouble, I will end you."
「他才沒有——」肯尼怒目而視，彷彿他真以為自己看起來很嚇人似的。「卡特曼，」他說。「要是你害奶油泡惹上麻煩，我就宰了你。」

"Oh yeah? How will you do that, scarecrow? I can't see you holding your own in a fight against me."
「哦是嗎？你要怎麼做，稻草人？我看你根本沒本事跟我打。」

"I don't mean physically. I'll— I'll tell your gentleman lover that you used to fuck his son in the band closet."
「我不是指身體上的。我會——我會告訴你的紳士情人，你以前在樂器間跟他兒子上過床。」

"Wha— What? How did you— Nuh-uh!"
「啥——什麼？你怎麼會——才沒有咧！」

"Yes huh," Butters says, smiling a little. "I'm the one who saw you. I went in there to get my flute and boy was Kyle giving it to you! And you were making this kind of squealing sound, like— Like you were really enjoying yourself, buddy."
「才不是咧，」巴特斯帶著一抹微笑說。「是我看到你們的。我進去拿我的長笛，結果看到凱爾正在跟你那個！你還發出那種吱吱叫的聲音，就像——就像你超享受的，老兄。」

"So what?" Cartman says, feeling his face turning red. "You're gonna make fun of me for taking dick, really? When you're bending over for a disease-riddled McCormick who used to be some maniac's rent boy? Guess you're not turning tricks for pricks in Mercedes Benzes anymore, Kenny, huh? Unless— Ha! Unless Butters is paying for your dick! Or is it the other way around? Butters, are you topping that shit?"
「那又怎樣？」卡特曼說，感覺自己的臉漲紅了。「你要因為我被人上就嘲笑我？真的嗎？當你自己正對著那個滿身是病的麥考密克撅屁股時？他以前還是某個瘋子的男妓呢！肯尼，看來你現在不替開賓士的混蛋賣屁股了是吧？除非——哈！除非是巴特斯付錢上你！還是反過來？巴特斯，該不會是你在幹那傢伙吧？」

"Cartman," Kenny says. "You sound unhinged. More so than usual. Are you okay?"
「卡特曼，」肯尼說。「你聽起來瘋瘋的，比平常還誇張。你還好嗎？」

"Am I— Am I okay? Kenny, it's ten AM on my birthday and I'm at a fucking Ben Stiller movie, about to eat my weight in candy. How do you think I am? I'm great."
「我——我很好嗎？肯尼，現在是我生日早上十點，而我他媽的坐在班·史提勒的電影院裡，準備吃掉跟我體重一樣重的糖果。你覺得我怎樣？我爽翻了。」

Cartman feels his lip tremble. It's too late— They've seen this tremble, too. He whines a little and pinches his eyes shut, wants to disappear. The first sob that breaks out of him sort of hurts, maybe because his ribs are still aching from all the crying he did in his truck.
卡特曼感覺自己的嘴唇在顫抖。太遲了——他們也看到了這陣顫抖。他輕聲嗚咽，緊閉雙眼，恨不得消失不見。從他喉嚨迸出的第一聲啜泣帶著些許疼痛，或許是因為在卡車裡哭得太兇，肋骨還在隱隱作痛。

"Aw, Eric," Butters says. "Happy birthday. Has nobody else said that to you yet? Did your mom forget to make you a cake?"
「唉，艾瑞克，」巴特斯說。「生日快樂。還沒有人跟你說過這句話嗎？你媽媽忘記幫你做蛋糕了？」

Butters isn't making fun of him: he's sincerely asking. Cartman cries harder. He tries to eats a handful of popcorn but can't swallow it. It sort of falls out of his mouth and onto his chest in a disgusting glob, which makes him wail with horrified sorrow.
巴特斯不是在嘲笑他，他是真心在問。卡特曼哭得更厲害了。他試圖抓一把爆米花塞進嘴裡，卻吞不下去。那些爆米花黏糊糊地從他嘴邊滑落，噁心地沾在胸口，讓他驚恐又悲傷地嚎啕大哭起來。

"Fuck," Kenny says. "Cartman, dude. It's okay."
「幹，」肯尼說。「卡特曼，老兄。沒事的。」

"It's not okay, Kenny, fuck you! You don't know what it's like! Everyone in town wants to sleep with you! I just wanted one guy, okay. Kyle's fucking dad! Is that too much to ask?"
「這樣不對啦，肯尼，去你的！你根本不懂我的感受！鎮上每個人都想跟你上床！我只想要一個男人，就一個。凱爾他老爸！這樣很過分嗎？」

Cartman gets up, forty dollars worth of popcorn and candy tumbling onto the sticky floor of the theater along with his soda. He screeches in utter agony and runs from the theater as fast as he can, which is not very. When he gets outside he's feeling so crazed and heartsick that he considers running into traffic, but there isn't really on the road adjacent to the theater at the moment, except for one car that's pulling in. Gerald is at the wheel.
卡特曼站起身來，價值四十美元的爆米花和糖果連同汽水一起灑落在戲院黏膩的地板上。他發出痛苦的尖叫，用他所能達到的最快速度逃離戲院——雖然其實也沒多快。當他跑到外面時，那種瘋狂又心碎的感覺讓他甚至想衝向車流，但此刻戲院旁的馬路上其實沒什麼車，除了一輛正駛入停車場的轎車。坐在駕駛座上的是傑拉德。

"Eric!" Gerald puts his car in park near the theater's front drive, not in a regulation space, and leaves it running as he jogs toward Cartman. "Oh my god. I was driving around, looking for you! Are you okay? Oh— Okay, c'mere."
「艾瑞克！」傑拉德把車停在戲院前車道旁，沒停在規定車位，引擎還發動著就小跑步朝卡特曼走去。「天啊！我開車到處找你！你還好嗎？噢——來，過來。」

Cartman can't make his voice work, but Gerald doesn't seem to need an explanation. He hugs Cartman to him right there in the middle of the movie theater parking lot and makes sympathetic noises while Cartman sobs onto his shoulder, clinging to him.
凱子說不出話來，但傑拉德似乎不需要任何解釋。他就在電影院停車場中央緊緊抱住凱子，當凱子趴在他肩上啜泣時，他發出安慰的聲音，而凱子則緊緊抓著他不放。

"Okay, Eric, okay," Gerald says, petting his hair while he cries. "I'm sorry this drama with Kyle is affecting your birthday. It's not your fault and it's not fair, you're right. It's your special day."
「好啦，艾瑞克，好啦。」傑拉德一邊輕撫他的頭髮一邊安撫道。「我很抱歉凱爾這齣鬧劇影響了你的生日。這不是你的錯，也不公平，你說得對。今天可是你的大日子。」

Cartman whimpers, afraid to try to speak. He's been concerned for some time now that he might accidentally call Gerald ‘Daddy' out loud, though he doesn't really want to do that kind of roleplay shit. This just feels like something he needs, goddammit. Something long overdue to the point of also being a fucked-up sex thing, maybe, but it's also true love.
卡特曼嗚咽著，不敢開口說話。他已經擔心好一陣子了，怕自己會不小心當眾喊傑拉德「爹地」，雖然他其實並不想玩那種角色扮演的爛戲碼。該死的，這感覺就像是他內心深處需要的東西。某種遲來太久、甚至可能已經扭曲成變態性癖的情感——但同時這也是真愛。

"I dropped my popcorn," Cartman says when he lifts his face from Gerald's shoulder, sniffling and barely aware of what's coming out of his mouth. He's embarrassed but also so relieved, as if public humiliation has some kind of cleansing affect. He lets Gerald dry his face with his thumbs and considers swooning in for a kiss.
「我的爆米花掉了，」凱子把臉從傑拉德肩膀上抬起來時說道，他吸著鼻子，幾乎沒意識到自己脫口而出的話。他感到難為情，卻又莫名鬆了口氣，彷彿公開出糗有種淨化效果。他任由傑拉德用拇指抹去他臉上的淚痕，甚至考慮要不要順勢湊上去索個吻。

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that about your popcorn," Gerald says. "But Sheila's making you a cake for your birthday, and we're going to order pizza tonight, and you can pick the toppings. You can pick the movie we watch, too, since you're the birthday boy."
「聽到你的爆米花這樣，我也很遺憾。」傑拉德說。「不過希拉要幫你烤生日蛋糕，我們今晚還會叫披薩，你可以選配料。既然你是壽星，連電影也讓你挑。」

"And Ike can't say anything mean to me?" Cartman asks, wanting to add this to the list of things he gets to ask for today. Ike hates him and has threatened to kill him in his sleep. Cartman has made some semi-concrete plans to do the same to Ike. Gerald sighs.
「那艾克也不能對我說任何難聽的話嗎？」卡特曼問道，想把這條也加進今天他要求的事項清單裡。艾克恨透他了，還曾威脅要趁他睡覺時殺了他。卡特曼也擬了些半成品的計劃打算如法炮製。傑拉德嘆了口氣。

"Well, me and Sheila agreed that Ike is allowed to express his frustration with our open marriage as long as he remains respectful."
「嗯，我和希拉說好了，只要艾克保持尊重，他可以表達對我們開放式婚姻的不滿。」

"But he doesn't remain respectful! He calls me World's Fattest Sociopath and he accused me of murdering Kyle!"
「但他一點都不尊重人！他叫我『全世界最胖的反社會份子』，還指控我殺了凱爾！」

"Ah— I know, okay, well. Maybe we'll give Ike some money and tell him to go out with his friends. In the meantime, c'mon, get in my car. We can come back for your truck later."
「啊——我知道啦，好吧。也許我們可以給艾克一些錢，讓他跟朋友出去玩。現在先上我的車吧，你的卡車晚點再回來開。」

Cartman sniffles and agrees to this. He likes riding in the passenger seat while Gerald drives, likes it when they stop at the bakery on Main Street and Gerald buys him a cinnamon roll and a mini bottle of Simply Orange, and likes it most of all when they park in the spot where Cartman bawled his eyes out earlier. It's almost noon now and there are people on the jogging trail that winds behind this makeout spot, so they don't have sex, and probably won't later, since Gerald's dick doesn't get hard even when Cartman grabs it, but they do kiss, in broad daylight, five times, because Cartman is a goddamn man now and he can do what he wants.
卡特曼抽了抽鼻子，同意了這件事。他喜歡坐在副駕駛座讓傑拉德開車，喜歡他們在 Main Street 的麵包店停下來時傑拉德給他買肉桂捲和一小瓶 Simply Orange 果汁，最喜歡的是當他們停在稍早卡特曼痛哭流涕的那個停車位時。現在快中午了，這個幽會地點後方的慢跑小徑上有人，所以他們沒有做愛，可能晚點也不會，因為即使卡特曼抓住它，傑拉德的陰莖也沒有變硬，但他們確實接吻了，在光天化日之下，五次，因為卡特曼現在是他媽的男人了，他可以做他想做的事。

---

Stan is almost constantly confused, but he's also constantly in the presence of Kyle, so it's hard to really get upset about his confusion.
史丹幾乎總是感到困惑，但他也總是和凱爾在一起，所以真的很難對他的困惑感到生氣。

This is becoming increasingly difficult to reconcile, however, as Stan realizes that his feelings for Kyle involve wanting to do things to him with the erections that keep popping up when they cuddle in bed together.
然而，這變得越來越難以調和，因為史坦意識到他對凱爾的感覺包含了更多——當他們在床上依偎時不斷勃起的慾望，讓他渴望對凱爾做些什麼。

"You're too young," Kyle says, half-asleep and pushing Stan away again. "And this arrangement is too— Just, stop, Stan. Go touch yourself in the bath if you need, uh. Relief."
「你還太小啦，」凱爾半夢半醒地又把史坦推開。「而且這樣實在太——拜託住手，史坦。要是你真的忍不住，呃，去浴室自己解決吧。」

"How old am I?" Stan asks.
「我幾歲了？」史丹問道。

"I don't know," Kyle says, mumbling. "But not quite eighteen yet. Fifteen? Maybe sixteen. Fuck, please stop doing that."
「我不知道，」凱爾含糊地說。「但還不到十八歲。十五？也許十六。靠，拜託別再那樣了。」

Despite asking him to, Kyle doesn't push Stan away when he nuzzles at Kyle's cheek again, Stan's tongue darting out in timid little licks, testing to see how far he can get with Kyle today. It's been like this for weeks, and Kyle's ability to resist is definitely weakening as Stan continues to age. Stan has some of his memories of Earth back, but not all of them. He also remembers many nights down here, folding himself into Kyle's arms and feeling so safe, not as if Kyle was an actual parent but as if he was a blanket and a best friend at the same time, physical protection from the screams outside their window and emotional security like none Stan has ever felt before, even with Kyle himself, prior to his experience. Stan still doesn't understand how he came to be de-aged and why they have to remain in Hell until Stan is approximately eighteen years old again, but Kyle says he'll explain it to him someday, when Stan is old enough.
儘管凱爾要求斯坦別這樣，當斯坦再次用鼻子蹭他的臉頰時，他卻沒有推開。斯坦怯生生地伸出舌頭輕舔，試探今天能從凱爾那裡得到多少縱容。這樣的情形已持續數週，隨著斯坦持續成長，凱爾的抵抗力明顯在減弱。斯坦恢復了部分地球記憶，但並非全部。他還記得許多個夜晚蜷縮在凱爾懷裡的安全感——凱爾不像是真正的家長，反倒像條毛毯與摯友的結合體，既能抵擋窗外尖叫的物理威脅，又帶來斯坦此生未體驗過的情感庇護，就連失憶前與凱爾相處時也不曾有過。斯坦仍不明白自己為何返老還童，也不懂為何必須待在地獄直到他重新長到十八歲左右，但凱爾承諾總有一天會解釋，等斯坦夠大的時候。

"Don't," Kyle says, sighing when Stan moves down to kiss his neck. "Please, dude, it's too weird."
「別這樣，」凱爾嘆了口氣，當史丹低頭要親他脖子時說道。「拜託，老兄，這太詭異了。」

"But why?" Stan asks. He hovers over Kyle, not touching him. It's easiest to get away with these little caresses and licks when Kyle is very tired like he is now, enough to allow himself to enjoy them. "It doesn't feel weird to me," Stan says, settling his hand over Kyle's hip. "I remember fucking you," he whispers. "I remember how much you liked it, dude."
「但為什麼？」史丹問道。他懸在凱爾上方，沒有碰觸他。當凱爾像現在這樣疲憊不堪時，最容易讓這些輕撫和舔舐得逞——疲憊到足以讓自己享受其中。「我一點都不覺得奇怪，」史丹說著，將手搭在凱爾的腰際。「我記得幹你的感覺，」他低語。「我記得你有多喜歡，兄弟。」

Kyle's eyes shoot open. He glowers at Stan and shoves him away before rolling over.
凱爾猛然睜開雙眼。他怒視著史丹，一把將他推開後翻身背對。

"Get out of the bed now," Kyle says, curling in on himself, probably to hide his own arousal. "Go take a bath and don't come back until you've brought yourself off. I can't deal with this, Stan."
「現在就給我滾下床，」凱爾蜷縮著身子說道，八成是想掩飾自己的生理反應。「去洗個澡，沒解決完不准回來。我受不了這樣，史丹。」

Angry at having his aching need to be affectionate with Kyle referred to as something Kyle has to ‘deal with,' Stan kicks away the blankets and goes to the adjoining bathroom. He fills the tub and heats the water to an ideal temperature himself, with his hand. Apparently, being de-aged in Hell has this one benefit: he can control the temperature of water and some other things with his hand. He wonders if it will persist when they return to Earth.
史丹對於自己渴望與凱爾親近的情感被說成是凱爾必須「應付」的事情感到憤怒，他踢開毯子走向相連的浴室。他親手放滿浴缸，並用手將水溫調至理想溫度。顯然在地獄返老還童有這個好處：他能用手控制水溫和其他一些東西。他好奇當他們回到地球後，這種能力是否還會持續。

Whatever happens with his power, he knows his feelings for Kyle will persist once they've returned, and he prays daily— to Satan, without thinking, and then to God, just for good measure —that Kyle won't push him away up there, too. Something has changed between them, and for Stan it's purely good: he feels no obstacles at all within himself when it comes to allowing these feelings for Kyle and indulging the need to be close to him. Stan has begged Satan, Kenny and Kyle himself to tell him why Kyle feels this hesitation to allow his own feelings to return. They all say it's just the age thing, but Stan fears it could be something more. Kyle says he was very little after the de-aging, and Stan is afraid Kyle sees him as a kid now, someone to protect, non-sexual and familial.
無論他的力量如何變化，他確信回到現實後對凱爾的感情仍會持續。他每天祈禱——先是下意識地向撒旦禱告，接著又為了保險起見向上帝祈求——希望凱爾在那邊也不會推開他。兩人之間有些東西改變了，對史丹而言這純粹是好事：當談到接納這份對凱爾的感情，或是放任自己想親近對方的渴望時，他內心完全感受不到任何阻礙。史丹曾哀求撒旦、肯尼甚至凱爾本人告訴他，為何凱爾對回應這份感情如此猶豫。他們都說只是年齡問題，但史丹擔心事情沒這麼簡單。凱爾說過返老還童後自己變得非常幼小，史丹害怕凱爾現在只把他當成需要保護的孩子，那種不帶情慾的家人關係。

Though he remembers being small and sheltering in Kyle's arms when Kyle felt so much bigger than him, Stan doesn't have that familial feeling toward Kyle at all. If anything, it's made him lust after Kyle even more: the smell of his skin is not not just exciting but also a pure comfort, like coming home to the other half of his own body. Stan gets into the bath and sides, immediately parting his legs and reaching for his dick. He gets hard all the time now, especially if Kyle is anywhere near. When he closes his eyes and rests his head on the back of the tub he returns to his memoires of fucking Kyle on Earth: ow Kyle had spread his legs and pulled them up against his chest, how he'd shown Stan that he was ready and wanting and willing to take him so hard. Stan groans under his breath, aware that Kyle can probably hear this evidence of his pleasure from the bedroom. Wanting him to.
儘管史坦記得自己還小的時候，曾蜷縮在凱爾懷裡，那時的凱爾對他來說是如此高大，但他對凱爾完全沒有家人般的感覺。相反地，這只讓他更加渴望凱爾：凱爾肌膚的氣息不僅令他興奮，更帶來純粹的慰藉，彷彿回到自己身體的另一半身邊。史坦踏進浴缸滑坐下來，立刻分開雙腿握住自己的陰莖。他現在隨時都會勃起，尤其是當凱爾在附近時。當他閉上眼睛，將頭靠在浴缸邊緣，那些在地球上與凱爾交歡的記憶便湧現：凱爾如何張開雙腿並將它們拉向胸口，如何向史坦展示自己已準備好、渴望且願意承受他的猛烈衝撞。史坦壓低聲音呻吟，知道凱爾大概能從臥室聽見這愉悅的證據——而他正希望如此。

Stan's hand moves faster on his dick when he thinks about what it would be like to walk out there and find Kyle ready and waiting for him, unable to wait any longer, breathless and spread open, his eyes glistening with embarrassed tears and his hole ready for Stan's dick. Stan groans again, louder now, imagining that Kyle can hear the sound of the water sloshing as Stan brings himself off, too.
史丹的手在老二上動得更快了，當他幻想著走出去發現凱爾已經準備好等著他，等不及了，氣喘吁吁地張開雙腿，眼睛閃著羞恥的淚光，後穴早已為史丹的老二準備好的模樣。史丹又呻吟了一聲，這次更大聲，想像著凱爾也能聽見他在沖澡時自慰的水聲。

"Kyle," Stan says, in a broken whisper, and his eyebrows knit together as his cock goes off in his hand. He cries out and arches, moaning, and as soon as it's over he feels empty in more ways than one. He wants to be kissing Kyle when he comes, always. Wants Kyle's come to be sticky between their stomachs, Kyle's lips fat and puffy when they breathe against each other's mouths. Wants to drip onto Kyle afterward and fall asleep with Kyle's fingertips stroking softly over his face, Kyle's soft voice in his ear telling him that he's safe and that everything is okay.
「凱爾，」史丹用破碎的氣音呢喃，眉頭緊蹙，手中的性器隨之釋放。他弓身哭喊呻吟，高潮過後卻感到前所未有的空虛。他多渴望每次射精時都能吻著凱爾——渴望兩人腹間黏膩交纏著凱爾的精液，渴望喘息時凱爾豐潤的唇瓣摩挲著自己。更渴望事後將體液滴在凱爾身上，任那修長手指輕撫臉龐入睡，耳畔迴盪著凱爾溫柔的低語，告訴他一切安好。

Stan is in a sour mood when he leaves the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. Kyle is lying on his back under the blankets, his breath coming a bit hard. Stan is pretty sure he just jerked off and is still recovering.
史丹走出浴室時心情不佳，腰間圍著一條毛巾。凱爾正仰躺在毯子下，呼吸有些急促。史丹相當確定他剛剛打了手槍，現在還在回神。

"Did you think about me?" Stan asks, standing at the end of the bed and giving Kyle a challenging look.
「你有想過我嗎？」斯坦站在床尾，挑釁地看著凱爾。

Kyle huffs and frowns at him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he says. "Did you brush your teeth?"
凱爾氣呼呼地皺眉瞪著他。「我不知道你在說什麼，」他說。「你刷牙了嗎？」

"No. I jerked myself off to the thought of you, just like you told me to."
「沒啊。我照你說的，想著你打手槍了。」

"I didn't— I didn't say to think of me!"
「我沒有——我沒有要你想我！」

"Maybe not, but you knew that I would."
「或許吧，但你早知道我會這麼做。」

Stan gives Kyle a wicked smirk, enjoying the look of annoyance on his face. Another thing Stan can now warm with the palm of his hand is Kyle's skin, not just in the usual way, but until Kyle feels like he's glowing and the heat sinks down to pool in his balls and harden his cock. Stan reaches for Kyle's foot, which is sticking out from under the blankets.
斯坦對著凱爾露出一個惡作劇般的壞笑，享受著他臉上惱怒的表情。現在斯坦能用掌心溫暖的不只是凱爾的肌膚——不只是平常那種方式，而是讓凱爾感覺自己渾身發燙，那股熱度一路往下匯聚在胯間，讓他的陰莖硬挺起來。斯坦伸手抓住從毯子底下伸出來的凱爾的腳。

"Don't you do it," Kyle says, pulling his foot back in. There's something a bit amused in his tone, like he's teasing Stan a bit.
「你別鬧了，」凱爾說著把腳縮了回來。他的語氣裡帶著一絲調侃，像是在逗斯坦玩。

"You love it," Stan says, his hand still hovering in the air.
「你明明就很愛，」史丹的手仍懸在半空中。

"Who cares what I love? I'm doing this for your sake, Stan."
「誰在乎我愛什麼？我這麼做都是為了你，史丹。」

"Doing what?"  「在幹嘛？」

"Holding back! Being responsible!"
「克制！負起責任！」

"Why? What's the point?"
「為什麼？這樣做有什麼意義？」

"THe point is that you're too young! And—"
重點是你還太小！而且——

"And what?"  而且怎樣？

"Never mind." Kyle rolls onto his side again and punches his pillow. "Will you leave me alone? I'm tired."
算了。凱爾又翻了個身，用力捶了枕頭一下。「你能不能別煩我？我累了。」

Stan puts on some clothes, wishing he had better ones. Satan only has loincloths with metallic belts, and though Stan is getting kind of built, recently, and looking pretty good in this one, he still feels stupid walking out of their little house wearing only a piece of fabric that covers his dick and ass. At least there's no wind in Hell. He sits on their front stoop and listens to the screams in the distance, wishing Kenny would show up and at least shoot the shit with him for a while.
史坦穿上一些衣服，但心裡希望有更好的選擇。撒旦這裡只有繫著金屬腰帶的纏腰布，雖然最近史坦身材練得還不錯，穿起來挺好看的，但只靠一塊遮住老二和屁股的布料走出他們的小屋，還是讓他覺得自己蠢斃了。至少地獄裡沒有風。他坐在門前的台階上，聽著遠處的尖叫聲，心裡盼望著肯尼能出現，至少陪他瞎扯淡一會兒。

Instead of Kenny, Satan appears. Stan doesn't mind his company and scoots over on the stoop, leaving just enough room for Satan's giant red ass.
出現的不是肯尼，而是撒旦。史坦並不介意他的陪伴，在門廊上挪了挪身子，剛好騰出空間給撒旦那巨大的紅色屁股坐下。

"Hey, dude," Satan says. "How's it hanging?"
「嘿，老兄，」撒旦說。「最近混得怎樣？」

"Freely, under a loincloth, as usual."
「自由自在，只穿條纏腰布，老樣子啦。」

"Ha!" Satan always laughs at Stan's stupid jokes. It reminds him a little bit of Randy, who he almost kind of misses. "Well," Satan says, sighing and surveying the blood-soaked mountains in the distance. "I guess you and Kyle will be leaving us soon."
「哈！」撒旦總是被史丹的蠢笑話逗樂。這讓他有點想起蘭迪，那個他幾乎有點想念的傢伙。「好吧，」撒旦嘆了口氣，遠眺著遠處血染的山巒說道。「我猜你和凱爾很快就要離開我們了。」

"Yeah. Kyle says I'm sixteen already. How can he tell?"
「對啊。凱爾說我已經十六歲了。他怎麼會知道？」

"Oh, he's just guessing, but that seems about right. I'd say you'll be back to your real age in about a week of Earth time."
「噢，他只是隨便猜的，不過聽起來差不多。我估計大概再過一週的地球時間，你就會恢復實際年齡了。」

"Time sure passes slowly down here," Stan says, putting his chin in his hand.
「時間在這裡過得可真慢啊。」斯坦用手托著下巴說道。

"Yeah, that's true."  「對啊，這倒是真的。」

They sit in silence for a while, Stan wondering how mad his parents will be when he gets back. Maybe they'll just be relieved. Kenny has been in touch with them and with the Broflovskis, assuring them that Stan and Kyle are safe and sound and just ‘figuring things out' away from home for a while. Stan sure as shit doesn't feel like he's figured much out down here except what he already basically knew: that he belongs with Kyle, wants to be with him forever, and wants to fuck Kyle's ass so bad that he feels like he might die from it before he gets the chance, if the chance ever actually comes again.
他們沉默地坐了一會兒，史坦想著回家後爸媽會有多生氣。或許他們只會鬆一口氣。肯尼已經聯繫過他們和布羅夫斯基夫婦，保證史坦和凱爾平安無事，只是需要「遠離家鄉把事情想清楚」一陣子。但史坦他媽的完全不覺得自己在這鬼地方想通了什麼，除了他早就知道的事：他屬於凱爾，想永遠和他在一起，而且他媽的想幹凱爾的屁股想到快瘋掉——要是還有機會的話，他搞不好會在如願以償前就慾火焚身而死。

"Hey, Satan?" Stan says.
「嘿，撒旦？」史丹說。

"Yeah, dude?"  「嘿，老兄？」

"Since we're only going to be down here for one more week or so, aren't I old enough to know how I got de-aged in the first place? Like, what happened?"
「既然我們在這裡只剩大概一週的時間了，我是不是已經夠大，可以知道當初是怎麼變回小孩的？就是...到底發生了什麼事？」

"Ohh, well—" Satan sighs and checks over his shoulder. Stan knows Satan resents Kyle's bond with him sometimes, and that this means he can sometimes get what he wants from Satan when Kyle won't let him have it. Their shared dynamic toward him is sometimes weirdly parental, though Stan doesn't see either of them that way himself. Stan stares up at Satan, giving him a pleading look. "I suppose I might as well tell you," Satan says. "You have a right to know."
「唉，好吧——」撒旦嘆了口氣，回頭張望。史坦知道撒旦有時會嫉妒凱爾與自己的情誼，這意味著當凱爾不允許時，他偶爾能從撒旦那兒得到想要的東西。他們對待他的方式有時詭異地像父母管教孩子，雖然史坦自己從不這麼看待他們。史坦抬頭凝視撒旦，露出懇求的眼神。「我想我還是告訴你吧，」撒旦說。「你有權知道。」

"Yeah," Stan agrees. "So? What happened? The last thing I remember is being in my bed and South Park and feeling like I'd been set on fire."
「是啊，」史坦附和道。「所以呢？發生什麼事了？我最後的記憶是躺在床上，然後南公園那邊感覺像被火燒一樣。」

"That was the completion of the cycle of possession," Satan says. "When I took over your body completely. Inadvertently!"
「那就是附身循環的完成，」撒旦說道。「當我完全佔據你的身體時。無意間！」

"Yeah, I figured that part out. And I know it wasn't your idea. But then what happened?"
「是啊，這部分我搞懂了。而且我知道那不是你的主意。但後來發生了什麼事？」

"Hmm," Satan says, tapping his fingers over his huge red knees. "How to put this delicately."
「嗯，」撒旦輕敲著他那巨大的紅色膝蓋說道，「該怎麼委婉地表達呢。」

Ten minutes later, Stan walks back into the house. He moves blindly through the rooms, into the bedroom. Kyle is fast asleep. Stan needs a while to think, anyway. About. What was just revealed to him. The startling sense of unshakable truth he felt when he heard it. He sits in the rocking chair across from the bed and watches Kyle sleep.
十分鐘後，史坦走回屋內。他茫然地穿過房間，走進臥室。凱爾正熟睡著。反正史坦也需要時間思考。關於。剛才被告知的事情。當他聽到時，那種令人震驚、無可動搖的真實感。他坐在床對面的搖椅上，看著凱爾入睡。

Kyle wakes hours later: yawning, stretching, rubbing at his face. He flinches and curses when he sees Stan staring at him.
凱爾在幾個小時後醒來：打著哈欠、伸著懶腰、揉著臉。當他發現斯坦正盯著他看時，猛地一縮並咒罵出聲。

"What are you doing?" Kyle asks, still blinking his eyes open fully. "What's wrong?" he asks when he notices the look on Stan's face. He frowns and sits up. "Stan? What happened? What's the matter?"
「你在幹嘛？」凱爾問道，仍眨著眼睛試圖完全清醒。注意到史丹臉上的表情後，他追問：「怎麼了？」他皺起眉頭坐起身。「史丹？發生什麼事了？到底怎麼回事？」

"Satan says I came out of your ass."
「撒旦說我是從你屁眼裡蹦出來的。」

Kyle stares for a moment, as if he's trying to interpret that as a metaphor. He blinks, groans, and looks away, his shoulders curling inward.
凱爾凝視了片刻，彷彿試圖將這句話解讀為某種隱喻。他眨了眨眼，發出呻吟聲別過頭去，肩膀向內蜷縮。

"They told me it was the only way," Kyle says. "To save you."
「他們告訴我這是唯一的方法，」凱爾說。「為了救你。」

Stan isn't sure how to respond. He wants to get mad at Kyle for this, but how could he? Kyle did save him, this way. Through ass rebirth.
史坦不確定該如何回應。他想為此對凱爾發火，但又怎麼能呢？凱爾確實用這種方式救了他。透過屁股重生。

"Did it hurt?" Stan asks, his eyes filling with tears when he imagines how much it must have. Kyle winces as if in memory, shrugs.
「會痛嗎？」史丹問道，當他想到那該有多痛時，眼裡噙滿了淚水。凱爾像是回憶起什麼似地皺了皺眉，聳聳肩。

"It was worth it," Kyle says, still mumbling. "Worth the pain. And I guess I knew I'd lose you, but—"
「值得的，」凱爾依然低聲咕噥著。「那些痛苦都值得。雖然我早知道會失去你，但——」

"Lose me?" Stan gets up, the rocking chair tilting wildly behind him. "Dude. I'm right here."
「弄丟我？」史丹站起身，身後的搖椅劇烈晃動。「老兄，我就在這啊。」

"Right, but. You're not going to want to rub your dick on me and lick my cheeks anymore, now that you know the horrible truth."
「沒錯，但是。現在你知道這個可怕的真相後，應該不會再想用你的老二蹭我、還舔我的臉了吧。」

"It's not horrible," Stan says. Kyle gives him a look. "I mean, okay, it kind of is, but. I could just not think about it."
「也沒那麼糟啦，」史坦說。凱爾給了他一個眼神。「我是說，好吧，確實有點糟，不過...我可以選擇不去想它。」

"That seems unlikely."  「這似乎不太可能。」

Stan sits in the rocking chair again. He needs a moment. There are a lot of ins and outs here to consider.
史丹又坐回搖椅上。他需要一點時間。這裡頭有太多需要考慮的細節了。

"Fuck Satan for telling you," Kyle says, scowling down at the rumpled bedclothes. "I wanted to tell you myself. I would have phrased it better, surely."
「去他媽的撒旦告訴你這件事，」凱爾皺著眉頭瞪著凌亂的床單說道。「我本來想自己告訴你的。我肯定會說得更好聽些。」

"Maybe," Stan says, incredulous. "But, like. How else do you tell someone that they're an ass baby?"
「也許吧，」史丹難以置信地說。「但是，不然你要怎麼告訴別人他們是個混蛋寶寶？」

"You're not an ass baby! Jesus!"
「你才不是個混蛋寶寶！天啊！」

Kyle puts his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He needs a haircut. His fro has gotten enormous, but he refuses to let Stan cut it. Kyle only ever gets his hair cut at a special salon in Denver. His stylist is a man named Redmond.
凱爾將手肘撐在膝蓋上，雙手掩面。他該理髮了。那頭爆炸頭已經膨脹得誇張，但他堅持不讓史丹幫他剪。凱爾向來只去丹佛一家特別的沙龍理髮，他的專屬設計師名叫雷蒙。

"Satan says we can go home soon," Stan says, muttering this glumly.
「撒旦說我們很快就能回家了，」斯坦悶悶不樂地低聲說道。

"Great," Kyle says, equally glum.
「太好了，」凱爾同樣悶悶不樂地說。

Stan continues rocking himself in the chair, trying to feel soothed by it and closing his eyes, attempting to picture what things will be like when they return home. Apparently Cartman has stolen Kyle's bed and is fucking Kyle's dad, possibly also his mom. Stan has already promised that Kyle can move in with the Marshes in lieu of returning to that nightmare. Surely Stan's mom will understand the need for this and allow it. Stan tries to imagine Kyle in his bed at home, and when he does he envisions Kyle sadly pushing him away because Stan once came out of his ass.
史丹繼續在椅子上搖晃著自己，試圖藉此獲得些許安慰。他閉上雙眼，努力想像他們回家後的生活會是什麼樣子。顯然卡特曼已經霸佔了凱爾的床，還正在上凱爾的爸爸，可能連他媽媽也不放過。史丹已經承諾凱爾可以搬來馬許家住，不用回到那個惡夢般的環境。他確信自己的媽媽會理解這種需求並同意這個安排。當史丹試圖想像凱爾躺在他家床上的畫面時，腦海中浮現的卻是凱爾悲傷地推開他的場景——因為史丹曾經從他屁股裡鑽出來過。

He's somewhat optimistic that Kyle will want him again anyway, but it will certainly be weird for Kyle to have Stan in there again. Just hopefully not weird enough to keep Stan out forever.
他多少還抱著樂觀的態度，覺得凱爾終究會重新接納他。但對凱爾來說，斯坦再次踏入那個空間肯定會很彆扭。只希望彆扭程度不至於讓斯坦永遠被拒於門外。

"Hey," Stan says when Kyle seems to be drifting to sleep in the bed again. Kyle opens one eye and turns to him. "I love you," Stan says, his voice trembling with the weight and the truth of it. Kyle usually says it to Stan, every night, just before they fall asleep together here.
「嘿，」當凱爾似乎又要睡著時，史丹出聲喚道。凱爾睜開一隻眼睛轉向他。「我愛你，」史丹說道，聲音因這句話的真摯與份量而微微顫抖。通常都是凱爾對史丹說這句話，每晚在他們即將相擁入眠之際。

"You love me even though I pushed you out of my ass?" Kyle asks.
「就算我把你從我屁股裡推出來，你還是愛我嗎？」凱爾問道。

"Dude," Stan says. "I love you especially because of that."
「老兄，」史坦說。「我特別愛你這一點。」

Kyle snorts as if this can't be true, but when Stan slides back into the bed Kyle allows Stan to spoon up behind him. Stan tries not to think too much about the fact that doing this usually gives him an erection and that there's no such physical reaction happening now. He knows Kyle is thinking about it, worrying. He kisses Kyle's neck and makes a solemn promise to himself to go to therapy when they return to Earth, so he can work through his many and very complex issues with Kyle's ass. Kyle is worth it. Kyle is everything to him now— Always was, really.
凱爾哼了一聲，彷彿這不可能是真的，但當史坦滑回床上時，凱爾允許史坦從背後環抱住他。史坦試著不去多想這個動作通常會讓他勃起，而現在卻沒有任何生理反應的事實。他知道凱爾正在想著這件事，擔心著。他親吻凱爾的脖子，並暗自鄭重承諾回到地球後要去做心理治療，這樣他才能解決與凱爾屁股有關的眾多且非常複雜的問題。凱爾值得他這麼做。凱爾現在對他來說就是一切——其實一直都是。

 

• « Previous Chapter  〈上一章〉
• Next Chapter »  下一章 »