---

 

He's exhausted. Who wouldn't be… after three orgasms? He should be feeling satisfied. But he's not… he was far from it. Don't get him wrong, the sex was great. Ten was great and Ten seemed to be enjoying it and he tried. He tried to focus on Ten and tried really hard to erase a certain face from his brain every time he was deep inside him. It's just that... it was impossible.

"Great fuck, 7/10. Minus 3 points for moaning someone else's name."

"I'm sorry. I was out of it. I did not notice." A lie. Jaehyun was aware of it because it kept happening.

 

Ten only scoffed at his response. "Yea whatever, I don't mind. I just hope I am not ruining anything?"

Jaehyun let out a small bitter laugh. "It's already ruined anyway. Don't worry about it."

"Damn that sounds deep. Want to talk about it?" Ten offered sincerely. 

"Oh wow, I never thought my one-night stand would come with a free therapy session?"

"Just because it looks like you need it. But anyway, here's my calling card. If you change your mind."

He did not change his mind. Well, at least not until 3 weeks later when he saw HIM again.

 

With a list of grocery items in his right hand and a cart in the other, Jaehyun almost did not notice him. He was busy checking the list, and when he looked up, it was as if the oxygen was knocked out of his system. The world stopped. It's him, not so far from Jaehyun's position. The man was wearing his signature black leather jacket, white shirt, black jeans, and bucket hat. He's with someone whom Jaehyun recognized as his best friend, he remembered the name Taeyong. The one friend he told Jaehyun not to worry about. They did not see him and Jaehyun rushed to the counter to pay for what was on his cart. The list was already crumpled and forgotten in his palm.

 

"Okay, so this guy, the name you were moaning-"

"Please let's not talk about that!" Jaehyun cut Ten off. He's still feeling guilty and embarrassed.

"Okay so this 'Doyoung' guy, that's the name, right? If I heard you correctly that night-"

"Ten, please! I said I was sorry!"

 

Ten only laughed when he saw Jaehyun sulking. "I'm just kidding. I just want to lighten up the mood."

Jaehyun, sipping on his iced coffee, was appreciating the calm atmosphere of the coffee shop they chose to meet up.

"So, you saw him again."

"Yup"

"He saw you?"

"Nope"

"Was he with someone?"

"Yup"

"Did it look like he's WITH that someone?"

"I know that someone, he's Taeyong. His best friend. The one he left me for."

"Oh damn"

"Yea"

"Do you think they are together?"

"Well, he did say that I should not worry about Taeyong since they both don't have any feelings for each other ‘like that."

"Well... there you go."

"Still hasn't changed the fact that he left me for him."

"Well yeah... but maybe there's another side of the story, the one you haven't heard yet."

 

Jaehyun of course had thought about that. Doyoung is the most reasonable person anyway. But Doyoung never contacted him after he left, did not even say where he was going. They did not even break up, “That means we are, technically, still ‘together’.”    

“I don’t know. Unless it’s coming from him directly, what’s the use of assuming?” Jaehyun didn’t want to have any unnecessary hope.

 

“The fact that you’re still unable to move forward after 2 years just means it’s one of the things you’ve been holding on to. Don’t lie to yourself.”

Ten’s words were neither harsh nor unfamiliar. The same words he kept hearing from Kun. It’s why he chose to meet with Ten instead of him, his only friend, and cousin. He knew what Kun would probably say and it’s not what he needed to hear, but hearing the same words from a new friend, maybe Kun was right all along.

 

“You know what, I can introduce you to a friend, you two will look good together”

 

Ten frowned at his attempt to change the topic but did not push. “Will he be moaning someone else’s name if we fuck?”

Jaehyun ignored the obvious implication, “Well, he’s been single for so long so I doubt that.”

 

“Well, then he’s better than you already,” Ten said, grinning while giving Jaehyun his phone so Jaehyun can save the phone number. Jaehyun entered Kun’s contact on Ten’s phone  “I’m sorry Kun, this is me doing the universe a favor”

 

“Here you go, I can’t wait for him to tame you.”

 

“Oh, I can’t wait to see him try!”

 

Jaehyun thought Ten was a little over-excited. He could only hope Kun wouldn't disown him.

 

Another two weeks passed and Jaehyun did not see Doyoung again. Sometimes, he would go back to the same grocery store hoping to see him again. But he also did not have any idea what he’d do once he'd see him again. He just wanted to catch a glimpse of Doyoung. He did not have any plan in approaching the other yet. 

He went home after another failed attempt and definitely did not expect Kun to be sitting in his living room, a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Tell me honestly Jae, are you stalking someone? You are always out and what’s with that stalker outfit?”

“It’s not a stalker outfit and I am not stalking!” Jaehyun said while unwrapping the scarf from his neck and hanging it on the rack together with his jacket and cap. 

“Sounds like something a stalker would say.” Kun simply replied. “And you still have your sunglasses on.”

“Why are you here, Hyung?” Jaehyun probed while he finally took off his sunglasses and put it aside. 

“Who’s this person and why is he asking if there’s a chance I’ll be moaning another person’s name if we fuck, and claimed you as his friend?”

Jaehyun didn’t need to look at Kun’s phone to know who the person was. Jaehyun only grinned at Kun. 

“Don’t give me that face Jaehyun, I ignored it at first because I know you don’t have any other friends but he sent me a photo of him with you in a café. Who’s this?”

“He’s safe, Hyung. I once went home with him from the bar and we’ve been friends ever since.”

“What happened to ‘never be friends with your one-night stands'?”

“He’s an exception, we’ve known each other for a while now and he’s a very good friend but we are not interested in each other because of our  unfortunate 1 st encounter,  and yea here we are”

“And that “unfortunate encounter” had something to do with ‘moaning someone else’s name’, I assume?” 

“Just be friends with him and you’ll see.” Kun brushed aside the fact that his cousin completely ignored his question. He knew he was right anyway. And he definitely knew whose name it was. 

 

Jaehyun did not know his actions would backfire right away as he is now in front of a big house, and he’s definitely not third-wheeling his cousin and his friend. He did not expect they would hit it off right away.

“Who even hosts a frat party at this age?” Jaehyun complained while looking for the best parking space left. 

“It’s not a “frat” party per se, just ex-members in reunion.” Ten explained while unbuckling his seat belt. 

“And you were a member?” Jaehyun probed.

“The host and I were a thing during my junior in college but we are buddies now, that’s why I am invited and free to bring whoever!”

“And you are okay with this, Hyung?” Jaehyun asked Kun after they all got out of the car. “Of course, it’s been so long since the last time we had fun. Ever since Doyoung left-“ Kun realized what he was saying “I’m sorry.”

“Tsk, there’s that name again, come on, we are here to have fun.” Ten said while he wrapped his arms around Kun’s waist. Jaehyun couldn’t say anything. 

They headed inside and were welcomed by loud music. 

“Ten hey, thank you for coming!” A tall man approached them and bro-hugged Ten.

“Johnny, this is Kun, he is off limits… and this is his cousin Jaehyun.”

Johnny’s shocked face was not very subtle after hearing Jaehyun’s name. “Nice to meet you both, Kun,  Jaehyun,  please help yourselves around, have fun, I’m just gonna go get something.” And he just left after that, if there was an implication in the way he mentioned Jaehyun’s name, only Jaehyun noticed. 

They made their way to the drinks and occasionally swayed to the music, Ten said the tracks were Johnny’s original mixes. The dude’s an established DJ.

Ten dragged Kun and they were already mingling in the middle dancing, obviously tipsy.

Jaehyun is standing at the corner, minimizing his alcohol consumption since he’ll be driving.

  And that’s when saw him, Kim Doyoung. It’s like that day in the grocery store when he saw him for the first time. He couldn’t hear the music anymore and everything else became blurry, all he could see was Doyoung, but he snapped back when he realized the situation Doyoung was in. 

A guy kept pestering him and Doyoung looked uncomfortable. He stood observing for a while until the guy forcefully hugged Doyoung, his legs acting on their own and he closed their distance, rage took over his system when he saw Doyoung flinching and trying to push the guy away. The next thing he knew, he’s grabbing the guy’s shirt from the back. The guy’s shock made him let go of Doyoung, he tried to face the intruder, but he was greeted by Jaehyun’s fist on his face.

“What the fuck?! Who are you?! What the fuck is your problem?!” The guy shouted at Jaehyun, still confused.

“You! You are my problem! Couldn’t you see he’s uncomfortable with you touching him? Don’t you dare lay your hands on him!”

 Jaehyun was about to punch him again when he felt a soft hand on his arms stopping him, he turned to see Doyoung. “Jaehyun, don’t.”

Jaehyun wanted to melt after hearing his voice and feeling his touch again. Doyoung let go of his arms when he felt Jaehyun calm down. 

“Jaehyun, what the fuck happened?” Ten came rushing to them, Kun behind him. Kun’s eyes widened when he saw who was with Jaehyun. “Doyoung?”

Ten instantly realized what was going on. “Ohh, so he’s THE Doyoung, the face of the name-“

Ten wasn’t able to continue his sentence when he felt Kun pinching his arm. “Right.”

“What happened here?” Johnny made his way in front of them.

“This motherfucker punched me in the face! I did not do anything!” The guy pointed his fingers at Jaehyun. 

“Is that true, Jaehyun?” Jaehyun felt a lot of eyes on him, he acted before he could think, not that he regretted it though, the asshole deserved it. But the party stopped because of him, and he saw Taeyong appearing at Johnny’s side, he could not read his expression.

 Jaehyun didn’t realize his fists were trembling until he felt Doyoung hands on them. He’s trying to calm him down again, the effect was almost instant.

“Hyung, this asshole was harassing me, he was so persistent even after I said no, and he hugged me without consent, Jaehyun only came for my aid,” Doyoung explained to Johnny while still holding his fist. 

He saw Johnny’s jaw clenching as he was about to go to the guy when the small man beside him beat him to it and kicked the harasser’s front. The guy cried out. “What the fuck is wrong with you all?!” Johnny held Taeyong down when he attempted to hit him again, Taeyong somehow calmed down and Johnny dragged the man away from the group. 

Taeyong faced the audience “I’m sorry about that but we do not tolerate harassment here, okay? If you are planning to harass someone tonight, you can go home, if not, let’s go get the party resumed!” The music picked up and everyone went back to dancing as if nothing happened. 

 

Jaehyun noticed that Doyoung was, in fact, still holding his hand when he saw Taeyong, Ten, and Kun lowered their gaze to it. Doyoung looked like he was not even aware at all, he stared at Taeyong and as if there was a telepathic connection between the two, Taeyong met Doyoung’s eyes and nodded at him before following Johnny. 

Kun also dragged Ten away and now there were only 2 of them. Doyoung let go of his hand and Jaehyun instantly missed the warmth. 

Silence. They’ve been silent for the whole 3 minutes that they were alone. Jaehyun turned to look at Doyoung, the other was already staring at him. Doyoung’s face was red due to the alcohol and the ray of lights was making him look ethereal. Jaehyun cupped his face, Doyoung did not move, nor showed any sign of resistance. Jaehyun put Doyoung’s stray hairs behind his ear. Doyoung leaned into his touch. Doyoung’s lips are perfect, Jaehyun thought staring at them wasn’t enough, he needed to taste them so he did. Doyoung met him halfway, and their lips met. Their kiss was rushed, and far from being elegant. “Do you want to get out of this party for a bit?” Doyoung asked and Jaehyun could only nod and let Doyoung lead him upstairs. 

Doyoung had Jaehyun pinned against the door, one of his legs in between Jaehyun’s knees as he ran his hand up his thigh. Jaehyun exhaled, overwhelmed just by his touch. Doyoung kissed him this time. His hand slowly moved up his thigh towards the front of Jaehyun’s crotch.

Suddenly, Jaehyun was suffocating but he did not want it any other way. He could give up breathing if that means he could have Doyoung’s attention like this. He moaned into their kiss, trying to pull Doyoung’s body closer to his. 

His mind was hazy but he’s not sure if it was the alcohol or because of Doyoung’s mouth on his neck. Or both. His grip tightened on the older’s waist. He missed him so much. 

Doyoung looked up and met his eyes, no words needed, they knew exactly what’s the next thing to do.  “Just like the old times”. Doyoung grabbed Jaehyun’s shirt and pulled it up, Jaehyun did the same with Doyoung’s. Only half of their bodies were clothed, they did not waste time and took off the rest. Not rushed. Not slow. They felt so natural to be doing it again even after a couple of years apart. 

Their mouths and tongues met again, this time, Jaehyun tried to fight for dominance but who was he kidding? It’s so easy for Doyoung to make every part of his body weak, tongue included, if there is an exception, it’s definitely his dick that’s painfully hard already. 

They made their way to the bed trying not to break the kiss until Jaehyun’s back hit Johnny’s soft bed sheets, Doyoung on top of him. 

Eyes on each other, both were trying to catch their breaths while trying to process what was happening, but they knew it was too late for that. Jaehyun brought his eyes to Doyoung’s lips, to his collarbone, and to his chest. “You are still as beautiful as ever” the words came out before Jaehyun could even think about it. Doyoung smiled at the comment while Jaehyun looked away, red growing more on his chest and ears. He’s supposed to be mad at him, but he’s madder at himself now.

“I know you have a lot of questions, we can talk first”, it’s the longest Jaehyun heard from Doyoung throughout the night that they were alone.

 

  Jaehyun shook his head, “No.”

“No?” Doyoung probed while adjusting his position to be comfortable again while still hovering over Jaehyun. 

“I mean yes, but not now. Please…” Jaehyun hates how he sounded almost pleading. But it’s definitely what he’s doing anyway.

Doyoung nodded and rubbed Jaehyun’s cheeks, he brought his thumb to Jaehyun’s lips and replaced it with his own. Jaehyun reciprocated it almost instantly. Doyoung’s mouth is a poison and Jaehyun is addicted. Doyoung stopped and Jaehyun almost lifted his head to follow, he wanted more. Their noses were now only an inch apart. 

“Tell me what you want, Jaehyunie…”

 Jaehyun almost teared up upon hearing the name again but he did not want to ruin the moment. “You, inside me… please.” 

Doyoung did not budge and only raised an eyebrow.

 “…  Hyung, I want you inside me, Hyung, please. Please fuck me Hyung.”

“Very well then, baby.” 

Their mouths were connected once again and Jaehyun sighed. He could feel more of Doyoung’s weight on his body now and he melted against his warmth. Their kiss was sloppy and rough yet still full of passion. 

Doyoung’s mouth left his and he could only arch his back when he felt Doyoung’s mouth on his neck, to his collarbone, and finally, on his chest. Doyoung dragged his tongue in small circles around the sensitive area of his chest before flicking his tongue against his nipple. Jaehyun moaned, which encouraged Doyoung to latch onto the nipple and suck on it while he pinched the other one with his fingers. 

Jaehyun’s hands gripped Doyoung’s hair, his nipples were over-stimulated and it was becoming too much. A strand of saliva connecting Doyoung’s mouth to the reddened skin was Jaehyun’s view when he looked down. Doyoung glanced up at Jaehyun and met his lustful eyes. 

 

道英总是那么迁就和纵容，尤其是在面对在玹的时候。对他来说，宠爱自己的恋人是天经地义的事情，在玹也会很感激、很喜欢。如果不是那么想念道英，他或许还能享受这份温柔，但现在，他却变得焦躁起来。

“哥…我可以给你口吗？”在玹的声音带着喘息。道英愣了几秒，终于点了点头。他稍稍抬起在玹的身体，交换了位置，现在是在玹压在了道英的身上。

在玹没浪费时间，立刻俯身开始亲吻道英。他听到年长者发出一声轻笑，不禁感到一丝窘迫。

“你还是这么迫不及待。” 在玹听见道英低声说着，语气里带着几分戏谑，但更多的是兴味。在玹没搭理他。

在玹沿着道英的肉体缓缓游走，试探性地落下几个猫咪般的轻舔。他听到道英倒吸一口凉气，这鼓励他最终将道英的整个长度含入口中，带着几分挑逗意味，又故意放慢节奏，一下一下地吞吐着。道英的手指纠缠进在玹的头发里，催促他再快一点。在玹顺从了道英无声的请求，加快速度，得到了来自年长者高亢的呻吟作为奖赏。“在…玹…” 在玹还想再听一遍，道英却另有打算。几分钟后，他猛地将在玹拉起，双唇再次紧密相贴，直到在玹的后背重新陷回床单里。

道英下了床，径直走向 Johnny 的抽屉。在玹眼尖地看到他手里拿着安全套和润滑油，忍不住吐槽：“你是怎么做到对别人放哪儿安全套和润滑油都一清二楚的？”

道英翻了个白眼，怼了回去：“这叫常识，在玹。”

“我的在玹尼”和“宝贝”都喂狗了吗？

“那好，我的小宝贝，能跪趴着吗？” 在玹没有反驳，默默地顺从了。

道英移步到在玹身后，轻拍了一下他的屁股，在玹顿时发出一声低吟。道英用力捏了捏他的臀肉，然后凑得更近，将唇瓣压在那片泛红的肌肤上。他缓缓地用舌尖沿着在玹的双丘之间向下探索，能感觉到在玹的呼吸骤然一窒。

道英双手捧着在玹的脸颊，让他完全打开，方便自己更容易地进入在玹的那个地方。他的舌头平贴着，上下滑动了好几次，试图让他放松下来，在玹彻底沦陷在低吟中，不成样子。

“感觉怎么样，在玹尼？”

“哥，感觉真他妈爽。”

道英低声哼了一声，他自己也开始变得不耐烦起来，打开润滑油瓶，往手上倒了厚厚的一层。感到满意后，他用两根手指抵住那已经微微张开的、属于在玹的穴口，缓缓地探了进去。他自己的阴茎也早已在他双腿间坚硬如铁，蓄势待发。

在玹发出一声压抑的低吼，双手死死地抓紧了被子。

道英忙着帮在玹扩张，又加了一根，更深地压了进去。“你这里他妈的还是这么紧。”

“哥…操我。” 在玹哭喊着。道英稳稳地用手指扩张，确保他被充分地打开。

“直接上吧，我已经够开了，哥，求你了。” 在玹已经迫不及待了。

道英抽回手指，在玹立刻发出呜咽，似乎不满这突如其来的空虚，眼角甚至泛起了晶莹的泪光。

“在玹呐，想要我怎么做？”

在玹没有回答，但当道英看到他翻身，再次仰面躺着时，便明白了。看到在玹眼角的泪光，道英的神色柔和了下来。他拿起安全套，套在了自己的欲望上，又用手抚摸了几下，将手上的润滑液均匀涂开。

在玹一直很耐心，他值得一份奖励。道英翻身骑到在玹身上，再次吻住了他的唇。“你对我来说真是太好了，在玹啊。”

在玹叹了口气。

“我现在就需要你，哥……求你……求你……”

“宝贝儿，准备好了吗？” 道英嗓音低沉，带着一丝沙哑的性感。他将那炙热抵在在玹紧致的穴口，坏心眼儿地磨蹭了几下，惹得身下人一阵轻颤。然后，他才放缓动作，小心翼翼地、一点一点地没入。

“你他妈的真紧，宝贝。” 当道英的整个分身都进入他体内时，在玹只是呻吟了一声。

 

“告诉我，我不在的时候，还有谁像这样操过你？”

“不要”——在玹能说出口的，只有这两个字。

“骗子，”道英说道，同时小心翼翼地、带着试探地缓缓深入，目光一刻也不敢离开在玹的表情。

 

“哥，是真的……我跟人睡过，但我从来不让他们上我，都是我上他们。” 在玹注意到道英的表情有了变化，虽然对方极力掩饰，但还是被他捕捉到了。

 

“都是哥你的……全部都是哥你的。我一直在等你。” 道英的表情柔和了下来，“真乖。” 他低声呢喃，几乎听不见。“你这样完全敞开的样子，只能给我一个人看。”

 

他再次用手肘支撑起身子，亲吻在玹的嘴唇。然后，他向下移动，亲吻在玹脖颈的弯曲处，温柔地亲吻着，然后用牙齿轻咬那敏感的肌肤。他狠狠地咬了一口，同时将皮肤吸入嘴里，像是在宣告自己的领地。

 

在玹的手也在道英敏感的肌肤上游走，贪婪地汲取、记忆着每一寸细节。“我太想念这份感觉了。”他的目光落在道英的脸上，像一位雕塑家欣赏自己的杰作。道英那张俊俏的脸庞似乎没什么变化，如果非要说，那就是五官变得更加精致、立体。他变得更美了。

 

道英缓缓加快了速度，身体也随之下倾，直到他听见了在玹压抑不住的、粗重的喘息声。

 

“抓到你了。”

在玹终于开始发出低吟

每一次深深刺入在玹紧致火热的身体，都像一阵狂喜的风暴，席卷道英的意识。

 

在玹紧紧抓住床单，道英那充满整个身体的粗长感让他快要承受不住。这感觉好得简直要命。

 

道英一下又一下地撞击着，目标还是那个地方，下巴抵在在玹的脖子上。他感觉到在玹的眼泪滴落在他的脸颊上。“哥，再用力点，我可以承受更猛烈的。”

他依言更加用力地将整个人贯入在玹体内，肉球撞击在玹臀部的声音清晰可闻。

“哥……我快到了……”在玹喘息着说道。

“那就来上我啊，宝贝。” 道英说着，更狠地顶了进去。

道英微微撑起身子，没有分开彼此的连接，再次攫取在玹的嘴唇。在玹在他口中发出压抑的呻吟，那声音简直要让道英彻底失控。他向下抚摸在玹的身体，一把抓住在玹尚未释放的分身。在玹叫喊得更厉害了。道英配合着自己的律动，手掌有节奏地上下撸动着。

他们都觉得浑身的神经像是被点燃了一般，一切都太过火热了。

“哥…求你了…我要出来了…别停…操…哥…我忍不住了。”在玹低声吟唱着。

道英放纵着自己，更加用力地挺动。最终，在玹一声高亢的呻吟中，释放在了道英的手中。他的身体向前蜷缩，这反而让道英的坚挺更加深入，而这正是道英所需要的，他也随之爆发。他亲吻着在玹，一边缓缓地抚摸他，一边在他体内慢慢地律动，直到他们彻底释放了所有。

道英像是被抽空了力气，一下子倒在了在玹身上。在玹也昏睡了过去。

 

道英又等了几分钟，才将自己的身体从在玹身上移开，然后走进了浴室。他拿着一条湿毛巾回来，细心地为两人清理干净。

 

“How long?”“还要多久？”

道英的手停在了半空中，因为他听到了在玹的声音。刚才在玹不在的时候，他正温柔地抚摸着他的头发。“就摸了几分钟，”道英回答道，完全收回了手，放在身侧，依旧保持着侧卧的姿势。

他侧躺着，胳膊支着头，眼神温柔地注视着在玹。在玹早就知道道英在他睡着的时候都做了些什么。事实上，他早在开口说话的前一分钟就恢复了意识，但他不想让道英停下抚摸他头发的动作。而且，他感觉身体清爽干净，还换上了衣服，他知道道英又把他清理了一遍……就像往常一样。他感到心跳加速，于是决定缓缓睁开眼睛，却刻意避开了道英的目光。

道英没吭声，只是耐心地等着。

“你为什么离开？” 道英预料到了这个问题。

道英撑起身子，背靠着床头板，抱着枕头，双腿笔直伸着。在玹则完全没有动弹的意思，依旧躺在那里。

“泰容那家伙，从一开始就没喜欢过你，知道吗？” 道英慢悠悠地开了口，语气里带着一丝不易察觉的恶意。

“我知道，他表现得太明显了。所以你离开是因为他不喜欢我？”

道英没理会在玹的话，深深叹了口气。“他一直向我爸妈告我的状。我每次迟交作业，每次上课迟到或缺席，每次宿醉生病……每次嗨大了的时候。”

在玹的身体僵住了，“那些事…我们都一起做过了啊……”

“那些开心的事，我们一起做了个遍，我从没后悔过，而且我想一直和你一起做，因为我知道那样你会快乐。” 道英又叹了口气，才继续说道：“他们通过泰容向你发出了威胁，但泰容根本没告诉你。相反，他只是对你表现出敌意。在我高三之前，我的父母就想让我转学，但我恳求泰容说服他们，让我毕业，让我和你一起度过剩下的那一年。他是个好朋友，他理解我，也照做了。”

“我从未对道英生气过，也永远不会对他生气，但高三那年，我们相处的时间越来越少，因为为了让我能顺利毕业，道英得寸步不离地盯着我。”

在玹回想起那些邀请道英却一次又一次被拒绝的时刻。

“今晚…想出去玩玩吗？” （尾音略带上扬，暗示期待）

“抱歉，我要和泰容在一起。”

“哥，你都快毕业了，得好好玩玩啊，反正也没考试了。”

“对不起啦，在玹尼……”

直到他实在忍无可忍，问道英是不是和泰容有什么事。“你在说什么鬼话？我们可是从小一起长大的死党，简直就像亲兄弟一样。别往那方面想。”

 

“我爸妈从美国飞过来，毕业第二天晚上就到了我们住的地方接我们。机票早就订好了，一切就绪。”

道英清了清嗓子。“我想告诉你，我是想好好道别的，但是我做不到，我怕我一张口，就会求你跟我一起私奔。” 他苦涩地笑了笑。

“我带着他们还有道英一起离开了，我们回了美国，我开始在自家公司实习，一路往上爬，直到我确信自己可以独当一面。我答应自己要回到这里，即使有很多不确定性，很多假设。但正是这些假设支撑着我，因为我不能允许自己活在‘如果当初’的遗憾里，我必须亲眼见到他们。”

“对不起，对不起，没能保护你，对不起，没能保护我们，对不起，我就是个懦夫。” 道英说着，这才发觉自己早已泪流满面。

“你现在才意识到我们本可以并肩作战？我本可以帮你守护我们？道英，我们成为情侣是有原因的！” 在玹模仿着道英的姿势，但眼神仍然看向前方，躲避着道英的目光……他害怕一旦看到他眼含泪水，自己就会轻易妥协。

“当时我——不对，*我们*在我的父母面前毫无反抗之力，在玹。你还在读大三，我刚毕业。我们根本无能为力。我不想拿我们的未来冒险。我希望我们能实现梦想，哪怕这意味着要分开实现。”

“哥，就算这样，你也不能一个人就这么决定啊！什么都不告诉我！那我呢？你完全可以跟我说说你的烦恼，你的想法啊。说不定，哥。说不定我们能一起解决的。你知道我有多难熬吗？我一直在等你，等那个我们说好一起参加的毕业派对。结果呢？你连一条短信都没有，我就这么一直等着，几天，几周，最后变成了几年，哥。”

在玹极力控制着自己，不让哽咽声在字句间泄露，可眼眶早已泛红，泪光闪烁。

道英把头埋在抱着的枕头里，呜咽地哭着。他理解在玹，他也曾有过同样的想法，但关键是，在玹不了解他的父母。他们什么事都做得出来。泰容一直在帮他把生意上的事瞒着他的父母，他很感激泰容，泰容总是向他的父母保证会好好照顾道英。他的父母甚至比他更信任泰容。

“可能也有我的错，哥。我带坏了你。现在我能理解你爸妈和泰容哥了，他们只是为了你好。”

 

道英听了在玹的话，瞬间抬起头，转向他，急切地说：“不，不是的，在玹，我们都想要的，一直都是我主动约你，后来才变成我们的日常。所有事情都是我们一起做的，我们都很开心。没错，有时候会影响学习，但我们总会补回来，最后也能拿到满意的成绩。我永远不会后悔和你一起度过的那些快乐时光。永远不会，在玹。”

在玹终于抬眼看他，嘴角勾起一个浅浅的笑，小小的酒窝若隐若现。“哥，你又要走了吗？”在玹问他，道英看到了他脸上带着期盼的神情，也回以一笑，同时擦去了眼角的泪水。感觉好多了。

“老子现在经验值爆表，想去哪儿混饭吃都行。”

“哥，你这回答可没解决我的问题。”

“我打算永远留在这里了，在玹。” 在玹的脸上瞬间绽放出光彩。他向道英靠得更近了些，把头轻轻地搭在道英的肩膀上，道英也自然而然地把脸颊贴在了在玹的头顶。两人几乎同时发出了一声叹息。一时间，谁也没有说话，但与之前不同的是，他们沉浸在一种令人感到舒适的寂静之中。

“在玹，要我再追你一次吗？”道英语气认真得要命。

“什么意思？你又没跟我说分手，所以严格来说我们还是在一起的啊。” 在玹发出一阵轻笑，道英最喜欢听的声音，简直要了他的命。

“即便如此，你还是和其他人睡了。”

“哥～” 在玹知道道英嘴上是这么说，其实根本没生气，但他还是忍不住撒娇。毕竟他自己也觉得有点丢脸。

“我只是开玩笑，在玹。还有……我还是想追你。两年真的很长。我每天都想你，你知道吗？”道英伸手握住在玹的手，在玹则将他们的手指纠缠在一起，然后把两只手抬起，亲吻了道英的手背。道英对这个动作微笑不已。

“哥，我每天都爱你。”道英握紧了在玹的手。

“对了，哥……” 在玹从道英的肩膀上抬起头，转向他，道英也转过脸。 “你想知道我和 Ten 是怎么变成朋友的吗？” 在玹说着，耳根却越来越红。 道英笑了。

 

“他之前都那样说了，我总得知道吧。嗯，当然，没问题。”

在玹滔滔不绝地讲述着一切，直到他把认识 Ten 并介绍给锟哥的经过也一五一十地说了出来，道英忍不住笑出了声。“幸好锟哥没跟你断绝关系？”

在玹嘟着嘴，因为道英一直止不住地笑：“我知道你不是在笑他，但，是啊，他差点就那样了。”

道英意识到了一点，“你觉得昆会生我的气吗？”他和昆也是好朋友，因为他们同龄，总是和在玹一起玩，因为在玹对他们的关系比太永更包容。

“他从来没生你的气，一直都是他在说，你肯定有你的理由。”在玹解释道。

“泰容哥还在生我的气吗？”在玹问，眼神躲闪着道英。

“哟，现在都变成“泰容哥”了？” 道英揶揄道，在玹只是朝他翻了个白眼。他忍不住又被逗笑了。他就是个离了在玹就没辙的家伙，他眼里在玹的一切都可爱到爆炸，而且老天，他是真的太想他了。“泰容哥从来没真生你的气。他只是太保护我了。要是他真的生你气了，肯定不会让我们在这里待这么久的。这可是他们的房间，你知道的。”

“想知道他们俩是怎么搞到一块儿的吗？在玹？”道英笑着问。

“你可以稍后再告诉我他们的爱情故事，我们得先照顾好自己。”在玹说着，随手把自己的枕头扔掉，然后从道英的怀中抢过他的枕头，接着就抬起身体，骑在道英的腿上。道英本能地将双臂环绕住在玹的腰间。

“你打算干什么呢？嗯？”在玹只是对他咧嘴一笑，随后吻上了他的唇，道英在这个吻中露出了微笑，他早就期待着。道英感受到在玹抓住了他的头发，情不自禁地呜咽了一声。他们不断地亲吻着，仿佛要弥补这几年间的离别。在玹是第一个停下来的，他喘着气，稍微抽离。

道英托起在玹的脸颊，调皮地捏了捏：“我那个需要你的宝贝回来了。”

“那又怎么样？”在玹撅着嘴，但眼中却闪烁着欢愉的光芒。

道英轻笑着：“我那小讨厌的宝宝回来了。”说着，他将在玹的脸拉过来，再次唇齿相碰。“我好爱你，在玹。”道英在吻间低声说道。

“我更爱你，哥，求你不要再离开我了。”

“我不会的，我永远不会离开你。”

他们在一起继续热吻，情势几乎升级成更亲密的举动，直到一个突然扔来的枕头打断了他们的亲密时刻。

“去你妈的，勇！”

道英最先看到了他，因为他正面朝着门。

“谁让你把枕头扔地上的？外面都他妈知道你们刚干完，还在这儿亲得难舍难分？滚出去，我们要房间。”

他们听到了 Johnny 的笑声。

在玹从道英的腿上挪开了身体。他觉得自己此刻肯定脸红耳赤，根本抬不起头来。

“走了，在玹，我那饥渴难耐的死党要霸占房间了。” 两人下了床，并肩往外走，道英拉着他的手。 还没完全走出门口，在玹回头看到泰容正看着他，带着温暖的微笑点头示意，他也笑了笑。

“勇志，小声点！”道英在泰容猛地关上门前，最后撂下这么一句。

在玹只是笑着看着这两个死党的滑稽举动。

“要来一杯吗，在玹？”道英问道，手上动作也变了，原本牵着在玹的手，现在旁人一望过来，就改为霸道地搂住他的腰。在玹笑着，身子又往道英那边靠了靠。

“如果我喝酒的话，我就会醉得很厉害，变得特别火热，那时候我就想让你再操我。”

“那我就直接把你带回我家吧。”

在玹对这个“交易”笑得眼睛都弯了。