Chapter Index  章節目錄

CHAPTER ONE - WINTER CHAPTER TWO - SPRING CHAPTER THREE - SUMMER CHAPTER FOUR - FALL

Springtime generally brings little change to South Park, muddled over by the continuing oppression of winter's snow and ice. This spring is no exception, and Kenny has his work cut out for him when he shimmies up the icy tree that he uses to access Butters' bedroom. He's increasingly sure that he's the actual second coming of Christ, but this knowledge comes with no exceptional tree-climbing powers, and his hands are raw and cold by the time he's knocking on Butters' window, his too-human breath fogging the air.
春天通常不會為南方公園帶來太多變化，依舊被冬季冰雪的持續壓迫所籠罩。這個春天也不例外，當肯尼爬上那棵結冰的樹（他總是用這棵樹潛入巴特斯的臥室）時，可真是費了九牛二虎之力。他越來越確信自己就是基督再世，但這份認知並未賜予他超凡的爬樹能力，當他敲響巴特斯窗戶時，雙手早已凍得發紅——他那再平凡不過的呼吸在空氣中凝成白霧。

It's the week of Easter, just three days from the holiday, and Butters looks like a candy tucked into a basket, amid fluffy paper Easter grass when Kenny pulls open the window. Butters has pink cheeks and bed-wrecked hair, fluffy with static.
時值復活節前一週，距離節日只剩三天。當肯尼推開窗戶時，巴特斯看起來就像藏在復活節籃子裡、被蓬鬆紙草包裹的糖果。他臉頰粉撲撲的，睡亂的頭髮因靜電而毛躁翹起。

"Shoot, Kenny," he says, reaching out to help Kenny climb inside. "I'm sorry, I was fast asleep."
「哎呀，肯尼，」他伸手協助肯尼爬進屋內說道，「真抱歉，我剛才睡得好沉。」

"It's fine," Kenny says, teeth chattering. "I wasn't waiting long."
「沒關係，」肯尼牙齒打顫地回答，「我也沒等多久。」

Butters' room is warm, almost oppressively so. Kenny shucks off his cheap coat and then his boots, sitting on the edge of Butters' bed while Butters hovers and stares at him, unashamed of the attention that he's focused on Kenny since the night that Kenny drove to the Airport Hilton and helped Butters with the grisly disposal of the body of spongebobpatrick65.
巴特的房間溫暖得幾乎令人窒息。肯尼脫下他那件廉價外套和靴子，坐在巴特床邊，而巴特則在一旁徘徊凝視著他——自從那晚肯尼開車到機場希爾頓，協助巴特處理 spongebobpatrick65 那具駭人屍體後，巴特便毫不掩飾對肯尼的專注目光。

"Any concerns tonight?" Butters asks, kind of breathlessly. Kenny shakes his head.
「今晚有什麼狀況嗎？」巴特氣喘吁吁地問道。肯尼搖了搖頭。

"I think we're still okay," he says, his heart clenching with the need to protect Butters from the idea that they might not be. "But let's go over the story one more time."
「我想我們暫時還安全，」他說，心臟卻因必須保護巴特遠離「可能不安全」的念頭而揪緊。「不過我們再複習一次說詞吧。」

Kenny keeps using this excuse to climb into Butters' bedroom. They go over their story: how Butters was at the Airport Hilton to apply for a job as a bus boy in the hotel restaurant, but he got cold feet, cried in his car, called Kenny to come get him when he felt he couldn't drive himself home, and they spent the rest of the night watching Back to the Future movies on DVD in Butters' family room.
肯尼總用這個藉口溜進巴特臥室。他們反覆核對故事細節：巴特去機場希爾頓應徵飯店餐廳的傳菜員工作，卻臨陣退縮，在車裡哭了起來，覺得無法獨自開車回家便打電話叫肯尼來接，兩人整晚都在巴特家的家庭影院看《回到未來》DVD。

They did in fact watch Back to the Future</I> after dismembering spongebobpatrick65 and throwing his severed body parts in the nearest river. Hollow-eyed, holding hands, they had watched all three Back to the Future movies both of them fantasizing about time travel and imagining what its grace could do for them, if it were only real.
他們確實看了《回到未來》，在肢解了 spongebobpatrick65 並將他的殘肢扔進最近的河流之後。他們眼神空洞、手牽著手，看完了全部三部《回到未來》電影，兩人都幻想著時光旅行，想像著如果這份恩典真實存在，能為他們帶來什麼。

"Good, good," Kenny says when they've got their story straight yet again. Butters has taken hold of his hand, as he usually does when they both silently remember the way some of the body parts they tossed in the river had floated.
「很好，很好。」肯尼在他們再次對好說詞時說道。巴特斯像往常一樣握住了他的手，每當兩人默默想起那些被扔進河裡的屍塊是如何漂浮時，他總會這麼做。

"I wish I hadn't done it!" Butters says, not for the first time, his grip on Kenny's hand tightening until it's painful. "Oh, Kenny. I'm going to Hell, whether I get caught for this or not. Hell!"
「我真希望我沒這麼做！」奶油酥餅說道，這已經不是他第一次這麼說了，他緊握肯尼的手，力道大得發疼。「噢，肯尼。我完蛋了，不管有沒有被抓到，我都完蛋了！徹底完蛋！」

"Nah," Kenny says, though Butters is certainly going to Hell, unless he converts to Mormonism, which is unlikely. Kenny would encourage a conversion if he thought Butters would have a better time in Heaven than in Hell, but as much as he enjoys charades, Butters is too fond of raunchy sex to spend eternity amid those chaste assholes in the clouds. "You acted in self defense," Kenny says. "God gives you credit for that, even if the law might not."
「才怪，」肯尼說，不過巴特斯肯定會下地獄，除非他改信摩門教——這機率微乎其微。要是肯尼覺得巴特斯上天堂會比下地獄過得爽，他肯定會慫恿這小子改宗，但即便巴特斯再愛玩比手畫腳，這傢伙對下流性事的熱衷程度，實在很難讓他在雲端跟那群禁慾的混蛋永遠作伴。「你那叫正當防衛，」肯尼說，「就算法律不認帳，上帝也會給你記上一筆的。」

"I just— I wasn't ready for what he wanted to do—"
「我只是——我還沒準備好他要做的事——」

"Butters, I know, it's okay—"
「阿ㄆㄧㄚˇ，我知道，沒關係——」

"And he was gonna force me, and I ain't somebody that everybody can just force to do that stuff when they want it—"
「他還想強迫我，但我可不是那種隨便誰想怎樣就能強迫我做那種事的人——」

"Of course you're not." Kenny puts his arms around Butters. They've talked a bit about his uncle recently. Kenny is going to kill that man someday. Satan has a special place in hell for men like that, and Bud needs to arrive there sooner rather than later.
「你當然不是。」肯尼伸手環抱住巴特斯。他們最近稍微聊過他叔叔的事。肯尼總有一天要宰了那個傢伙。像那種人渣，撒旦在地獄裡早就留好了特別席位，巴德那混帳最好趕快下去報到。

"But it's my fault, really," Butters says, his eyes shining with tears. "I shoulda known he didn't just want to play Cards Against Humanity and role play Sailor Moon. What did I expect, meeting him in a hotel like that?"
「但這真的是我的錯，」巴特斯說道，眼中閃爍著淚光。「我早該知道他不會只想玩『反人類卡牌』和角色扮演《美少女戰士》。在那種飯店見面，我還能期待什麼呢？」

"You expected a fellow eighteen-year-old, for one thing. Not a liar who was actually pushing fifty."
「你原本期待的是一個十八歲的同齡人，結果卻是個謊報年齡、實際快五十歲的騙子。」

"Oh, shoot. I tried to be nice to him when I saw what he really looked like. He said he was insecure about his age and afraid I wouldn't like him. I wanted to like him anyway, to not be so shallow! But then I just bashed his head in with a lamp."
「噢，糟了。當我看到他真正的模樣時，我試著對他友善點。他說他對自己的年紀很沒安全感，怕我不會喜歡他。我本來想無論如何都要喜歡他，不要這麼膚淺！但後來我卻直接用檯燈砸了他的頭。」

"After he attacked you!"
「在他攻擊你之後！」

"Well, yeah. But even so."
「嗯，是啦。不過就算這樣。」

"Butters, please. What you did was perfectly understandable. Commendable, even. One less predator in the world, well done. And if none of those body parts have been found by now, I think we might be in the clear. Fish will have eaten off distinguishing marks by now."
「巴特斯，拜託。你做的事完全可以理解，甚至值得稱讚。世界上少了一個掠食者，幹得好。而且如果到現在都沒找到那些屍塊，我想我們應該安全了。魚群現在應該已經把辨識特徵啃光了。」

Butters looks queasy. Perhaps that was a step too far. Kenny puts a reassuring arm around him, and he's flooded with something all too human when Butters looks up at him and gives him a small smile, moving a little closer.
巴特斯看起來不太舒服。或許這一步走得有點太遠了。肯尼安慰地摟住他的肩膀，當巴特斯抬頭對他露出淺淺的微笑，又稍微靠近一些時，肯尼心中湧起一股再人性不過的情緒。

"I just wanted to believe that a boy my age might actually like me," Butters says, speaking softly. "I guess I shoulda known it was too good to be true, with me being a hopeless Melvin and all."
「我只是想相信，一個跟我同齡的男孩可能會真的喜歡我，」巴特斯輕聲說道。「我想我早該知道這好得不像是真的，畢竟我就是個沒救的書呆子。」

"You're— Butters, c'mon. You're adorable. Any guy would be lucky to have you."
「你——阿ㄆㄧㄚˇ，拜託。你這麼可愛，哪個男生能追到你都是他的福氣。」

"Aw, Kenny, you're just saying that because we concealed a murder together."
「唉，肯尼，你會這麼說只是因為我們一起掩蓋了一樁謀殺案啦。」

"I am not." Kenny wants to kiss Butters on his soft, hot cheek, but that would be inadvisable for a number of reasons. However, when Butters looks up at him, pale blond eyelashes fluttering, Kenny thinks: When's the last time something being inadvisable stopped me from throwing myself head first into it, potentially starting the apocalypse or not?
「我才沒有。」肯尼想親吻奶油仔那柔軟又發燙的臉頰，但基於許多理由，這並非明智之舉。然而當奶油仔抬起頭望向他，淡金色的睫毛輕輕顫動時，肯尼心想：上次因為事情不理智就阻止我不管不顧地一頭栽進去——管他會不會引發世界末日——是什麼時候的事了？

When Damien appears outside, below Butters' bedroom window, Kenny feels it like a hook in his chest: sharp, dragging him away from Butters and his warm blue eyes.
當戴米安出現在外頭，就在巴特斯臥室窗戶下方時，肯尼感覺胸口像被鉤子勾住般——尖銳的痛楚，將他從巴特斯那雙溫暖的藍眼睛旁硬生生拖開。

"Shit." Kenny releases Butters and stands, stumbling over his boots when he moves away from the bed. "I, uh. I gotta go."
「靠。」肯尼放開巴特斯站起身，從床邊走開時還被自己的靴子絆了一下。「呃，我、我得走了。」

"So soon?" Butters says, fidgeting. Usually Kenny stays for hours, enjoying the comfort of the central heating and the closeness he's begun to feel with Butters since that night when Kenny held him while he cried on the floor of room 543 at the airport Hilton, blood splattered on the walls and a fresh corpse splayed out on the bed. But Kenny is already putting on his boots, hurriedly tying the laces with shaking hands, ready to run though he wishes he could stay. He's not just risking his own ass here, or the threat of apocalypse. He's putting Butters in danger by lusting after him this way.
「這麼快？」巴特斯不安地扭動著身子。往常肯尼總會待上好幾個小時，享受中央空調的溫暖，還有自從那晚在機場希爾頓 543 號房——牆上濺滿鮮血、床上橫陳著新鮮屍體——肯尼抱著啜泣的他倒在地板上後，兩人逐漸產生的親密感。但此刻肯尼已經在穿靴子，顫抖的手匆忙繫著鞋帶，明明想留下卻準備拔腿就跑。他冒的不僅是自己被逮的風險，或是世界末日的威脅。像這樣渴望著巴特斯，等於是把對方也拖入險境。

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Kenny says, shrugging on his jacket. Butters smiles sadly and nods.
「明天學校見。」肯尼邊說邊穿上外套。巴特斯苦笑著點點頭。

"Thanks for dropping by. I know you got better places to be. You don't have to spend your time making me feel better about the murder I committed, but I sure do appreciate it."
「謝謝你過來。我知道你有更好的地方可以去。你不用花時間讓我對自己犯下的謀殺案感覺好過一點，但我真的很感激。」

"Butters." Kenny wants so bad to kiss him goodbye, even just on the cheek, but Damien and hellfire await. "It's really my pleasure. I'll see you soon. Sleep tight."
「奶油。」肯尼好想給他一個道別的吻，哪怕只是臉頰也好，但戴米安和地獄之火正等著他。「真的很高興認識你。我們很快會再見的。睡個好覺。」

Kenny bounds across the bed, probably leaving muddy footprints, and opens the window, crouching on the sill. Damien glowers up at him from the snow-covered yard. Kenny winks, smiles. Turns on the charm.
肯尼蹦蹦跳跳地跨過床鋪，八成留下了泥巴腳印。他蹲在窗台上推開窗戶，達米安正從積雪的院子裡怒目瞪視。肯尼眨眨眼露出笑容，瞬間開啟撩人模式。

"Hey," he says as he shimmies down the tree, pretending to be casual.
「嘿，」他假裝隨意地說著，一邊從樹上滑下來。

"Hey?" Damien says, fury steaming off of him, melting the snow in a three-foot radius around where he stands. "That's how you address your dark master?"
「嘿？」戴米恩說道，怒火從他身上蒸騰而出，融化了周圍三英尺範圍內的積雪。「這就是你對黑暗主宰說話的態度？」

"Sorry, babe," Kenny says, because he can sense that Damien is wounded right now, and being stupidly affectionate is something he secretly likes. Kenny takes Damien's hands and tries to pull him away from Butters' window, but Damien yanks his hands free and stands in place. "What's wrong?" Kenny asks. "Don't you want to go somewhere and fuck?"
「抱歉啦，寶貝。」肯尼說道，因為他察覺到戴米安此刻受傷了，而這種傻氣的親密舉動正是他暗自喜歡的。肯尼握住戴米安的手，試圖把他從巴特斯的窗邊拉開，但戴米安猛然抽回手，站在原地不動。「怎麼了？」肯尼問，「你不想找個地方來一發嗎？」

It occurs to him with pure horror that Damien might ask to fuck him right here, in view of Butters.
他驚恐地意識到，達米安可能會當著巴特斯的面要求和他做愛。

"What are you doing here?" Damien asks, sneering. "Coddling that sniveling little idiot up there."
「你在這裡幹嘛？」戴米安冷笑著問道。「在上面哄那個哭哭啼啼的小白痴。」

"I—"  「我——」

"And I'm not fucking jealous, so don't you dare presume that as the cause for my current desire to rip you limb from limb, slave. Jealousy is something only mortals and my idiot father feel. I'm above it. If you want to fuck a warm human asshole, I don't give a shit. I couldn't possibly care less, in fact. Fuck every blond idiot in South Park. But do not keep me waiting when I call for you."
「而且我他媽的才沒有嫉妒，所以你這個奴隸最好別把這當成我想把你大卸八塊的理由。嫉妒是那些凡人和我那個白痴老爸才會有的情緒，我可不屑這種東西。你想操哪個溫熱的人類屁眼都隨你便，老子根本不在乎。事實上，你就算把南方公園每個金髮白痴都操遍也無所謂。但當我召喚你時，別讓我等。」

"Master," Kenny says, bowing, relieved. "I'd never presume to think you, in all your fearsome excellency, care where I stick my dick. But you must know that my dick has not been stucketh within that particular blond idiot?"
「師父，」肯尼鞠躬說道，鬆了一口氣。「我哪敢妄想您這般威嚴尊貴的存在會在乎我把老二插在哪兒。但您必須知道，我那話兒可沒插過那個金髮蠢貨吧？」

It hurts to call Butters that, but it's not like he can hear. Kenny has kept his voice low, and Butters' face has yet to appear in the window above.
稱呼 Butters 為那樣實在令人難受，但他反正也聽不見。Kenny 壓低了嗓音，而 Butters 的臉始終沒出現在樓上的窗戶裡。

"Of course I know!" Damien says. "I'm fucking omniscient."
「我當然知道！」戴米恩說。「老子他媽的全知全能。」

Kenny is pretty sure that's not true, but he continues bowing.
肯尼很確定那不是真的，但他還是繼續鞠躬。

"On that note," Damien says. "I met an interesting person in Hell today, as he suffered through the Initial Trials."
「說到這個，」達米安說道。「我今天在地獄遇到一個有趣的人，他正在經歷最初的試煉。」

"Oh yeah?" Kenny comes out of his bow then, straightening, and resisting the urge to check Butters' window again to make sure his sweet face hasn't appeared there. Damien's lip curls up.
「是嗎？」肯尼這時從鞠躬中直起身來，強忍著再次查看巴特斯窗戶的衝動，確認那張可愛的臉龐沒有出現在那兒。戴米恩的嘴角微微上揚。

"He was a man by the name of George Tanner, on Earth," Damien says.
「他在地球上名叫喬治·坦納，」達米安說道。

"Cool."  「酷。」

"Cool? You think so? Well, perhaps you'd know him better as — spongebobpatrick65."
「酷？你這麼覺得？好吧，或許你更熟悉他的另一個身份——spongebobpatrick65。」

Kenny's blood seems to freeze. In a panic, he can't resist looking up at Butters' window. It's still empty, and when he returns his gaze to Damien, he knows there will be hell to pay. Damien's eyes narrow. He smiles.
肯尼的血液彷彿瞬間凍結。驚慌中，他忍不住抬頭望向巴特斯的窗戶——那裡依舊空無一人。當他將視線移回達米安時，他知道自己要大難臨頭了。達米安瞇起雙眼，嘴角勾起一抹冷笑。

"Yes," Damien says. "I've met the victim of your sweet little friend's violent murder."
「沒錯，」達米安說。「我已經見過你那可愛小朋友暴力謀殺的受害者了。」

"Victim?" Kenny's stomach curdles. "Forgive me, Master, but even in the glory of your perfect darkness, I had thought that you despise men like that?"
「受害者？」肯尼的胃一陣翻攪。「原諒我，主人，但即使在您完美黑暗的榮光中，我本以為您鄙視那樣的人？」

"I despise all men!" Damien says, screaming. "Including you, at this moment, vile slut. My point in mentioning this particular denizen of eternal torment is that the remains of his mortal body are lodged against some rocks in a nearby river, and that you ought to keep in mind that I could easily use this information to doom your precious friend who is named after a dairy product to hell on earth prior to his stay in my Hell. And I think you're well aware that hell on earth can be far, far worse."
「我鄙視所有男人！」達米安怒吼道。「包括此刻的你，你這下賤的蕩婦。我之所以提到這個永世受折磨的傢伙，是因為他凡軀的殘骸正卡在附近河道的岩石間。你最好記住——我隨時能用這個情報，讓你那位以乳製品命名的寶貝朋友在抵達我的地獄前，先嚐嚐人間煉獄的滋味。而你很明白，人間煉獄...往往比真正的地獄可怕千萬倍。」

Kenny is speechless for a moment. He makes his eyes less wide and forces a smile.
肯尼一時語塞。他稍微收斂了瞪大的雙眼，勉強擠出一絲笑容。

"Babe," he says.  「寶貝，」他說。

"Why in the fucking hell are you calling me that?"
「你他媽的幹嘛這樣叫我？」

"I— Sorry, Master. Just glad to see you. Showering you in stupid human affection. You know I can't help it. I'm a weak creature."
「我——抱歉，師父。只是很高興見到您。忍不住對您傾注這些愚蠢的人類情感。您知道的，我就是克制不住。我是個軟弱的生物。」

Damien huffs and looks away, toward Butters' window.
戴米安哼了一聲，別過頭望向巴特斯的窗戶。

"I will not turn this other weak creature over to the authorities in your world," Damien says when his gaze slides back to Kenny's. "Because I am not jealous. But I need you to continue to be aware that I can do anything I want to you and to the pathetic mortals you care about."
「我不會把這另一個軟弱的生物交給你們世界的當局，」戴米恩說道，目光重新回到肯尼身上。「因為我並不嫉妒。但我需要你繼續明白，我可以對你和你所在乎的那些可悲凡人為所欲為。」

"Of course, Master." Kenny has to swallow down the urge to rip Damien's throat out with his teeth. He can't do that. Yet. "I submit to your dark power, always."
「當然，主人。」肯尼強壓下用牙齒撕碎達米安喉嚨的衝動。現在還不行。「我永遠臣服於您的黑暗力量。」

"Do you." Damien's eyes narrow. He puts out his hand. "Come, slave," he says, "I desire a meal at Elway's Steakhouse. And you have not eaten anything but Pop Tarts and ramen noodles in days. Allow me to feed your body before I plunder it with my cock."
「你。」戴米安瞇起眼睛，伸出手。「過來，奴隸，」他說，「我想去艾爾威牛排館用餐。而你這幾天除了果醬吐司和泡麵外什麼都沒吃。在我用肉棒掠奪你之前，先讓我餵飽你的身體吧。」

"Yes, my Lord."  「是的，我的主人。」

Kenny takes Damien's hand. He doesn't allow himself to look back at Butters' window. Doesn't allow himself to flinch or to stop smiling when Damien looks upon him, checking his face for gratitude.
肯尼握住達米安的手。他不讓自己回頭看巴特斯的窗戶。當達米安注視著他、檢視他臉上的感激之情時，他不讓自己退縮或停止微笑。

Tells himself: Soon. Not now, but soon.
他告訴自己：快了。不是現在，但快了。

*

Kyle likes to think of himself as a patient person, though he knows in his heart it's not true. He's too desperate for everything: for Stan to come to his window, for Stan to slide inside him, for Stan to offer any inkling that he feels something real behind the thrusts that he slams into Kyle when he grunts in Kyle's ear until he's almost whimpering behind each grunt, as if there's something fragile beneath this that he's hiding. Regardless, Kyle comes just from being fucked, spraying all over Stan's tight stomach and shushing Stan when he chokes out a desperate half-shout at the feeling of Kyle's ass spasming around his still-thrusting dick.
凱爾總喜歡自認為是個有耐心的人，儘管他心底明白這並非事實。他對所有事情都太過渴求：渴求史坦來到他的窗前，渴求史坦滑入他體內，渴求史坦能在每次猛烈抽插時流露出絲毫真情——當史坦在他耳邊喘息，直到每聲喘息都近乎嗚咽時，那猛力撞擊彷彿在掩藏某種脆弱的東西。無論如何，凱爾光是這樣被幹就高潮了，精液噴灑在史坦緊實的腹部上。當凱爾的後穴因高潮痙攣而絞緊仍在抽插的陰莖時，史坦忍不住發出半聲壓抑的嘶吼，凱爾連忙用氣音安撫他。

"Get me some tissues," Kyle says when they're done, both panting, Stan wiping moisture that might count as tears from the corners of his eyes. "They're on my desk," Kyle says when Stan gives him a hopeless, searching look of deep confusion.
「給我拿些面紙來，」凱爾在他們完事後說道，兩人都氣喘吁吁，史丹正擦拭著眼角可能算得上是淚水的濕潤。「在我桌上，」當史丹投以他一個充滿困惑、無助搜尋的眼神時，凱爾這麼說。

Stan sniffles and crawls over Kyle, walking naked to his desk. Kyle thinks it's so unfair that Stan gets to be the one who acts all torn up over this, just before slinking off with his tail between his legs, back to Wendy. Stan notices the scowl on Kyle's face and stops before he reaches the bed, holding the box of tissues over his dick.
史丹吸了吸鼻子，赤裸著身子從凱爾身上爬過，走向自己的書桌。凱爾覺得這太不公平了，史丹憑什麼能表現出一副心碎的樣子，然後夾著尾巴溜回溫蒂身邊。史丹注意到凱爾臉上的怒容，在抵達床邊前停下腳步，用那盒面紙遮住自己的下體。

"What?" Stan asks, his voice hard again, eyes dry.
「什麼？」史丹問道，聲音又變得冷硬，雙眼乾澀。

"Nothing," Kyle says. "What are you doing? Give me those."
「沒事，」凱爾說。「你在幹嘛？把那些給我。」

Kyle uses tissues to mop at his ass, not appreciating the fact that Stan is just lingering there near the bed, watching this. But then again, it's kind of nice for Stan to finally stand there witnessing the state that he leaves Kyle in when this whole thing is done.
凱爾用衛生紙擦拭著自己的屁股，對於斯坦只是杵在床邊看著這一切感到不太自在。不過話說回來，當這整件事結束後，能讓斯坦親眼見證他讓凱爾陷入的狼狽狀態，倒也有種微妙的滿足感。

"Does Wendy do this after you fuck her?" Kyle asks, sneering, still looking for a fight as the bliss of his orgasm fades far away.
「溫蒂跟你上完床後也會這樣嗎？」凱爾嘲諷地問道，高潮的餘韻早已褪去，他仍擺出一副挑釁的姿態。

"We don't fuck much anymore," Stan says, looking sad about this. "In fact. I haven't really talked to her in like, a week."
「我們最近很少做愛了，」史丹說，看起來對此感到難過。「事實上，我已經快一個禮拜沒跟她好好說話了。」

"What?" Kyle is surprised that this news isn't all over the school by now, though he supposes gossip about Stan and Wendy breaking up and getting back together in an endless, tedious cycle grew stale back in middle school, or maybe even elementary school. "What happened?"
「什麼？」凱爾很驚訝這消息還沒傳遍學校，雖然他猜想關於史丹和溫蒂分分合合的無盡循環八卦，早在國中、甚至小學時就已經讓人聽膩了。「發生什麼事了？」

"I growled at her."
「我對她低吼了一聲。」

"You. What?"  「你。什麼？」

"I was eating this cheeseburger in her car, and I was really hungry, I've been— Really hungry, and some of it was dripping onto the seat, and she snapped at me and said what's wrong with you, watch where you're dripping that burger grease, and I looked up at her with burger meat half-chewed in my mouth and growled at her like I was an animal and she was trying to steal my food."
「我在她車上吃著這個起司漢堡，當時我真的餓壞了，我已經——真的餓到不行，有些醬汁滴到座椅上，她就突然對我發飆說你是怎麼回事，注意別讓漢堡油滴得到處都是，我嘴裡還嚼著半碎的漢堡肉抬頭瞪她，像隻野獸般對她低吼，彷彿她想搶走我的食物。」

Kyle stares, two tissues still perched under his leaking ass, and waits for Stan to burst into laughter and tell him the real reason Wendy is pissed off at him this time. But Stan just goes on staring at him, looking sad. Also: scared.
凱爾瞪大眼睛，兩張衛生紙仍卡在他滲漏的屁股下，等待史丹突然大笑並告訴他這次溫蒂對他發火的真正原因。但史丹只是繼續盯著他，神情悲傷。還有：恐懼。

"I don't know what's wrong with me, dude," Stan says. There's a shake in his voice, then a weird kind of flash in his eyes, like something dark has passed behind them. "I just. Can't stop."
「我不知道自己怎麼了，老兄，」史坦說。他的聲音顫抖著，眼中閃過一絲詭異的光芒，彷彿有某種黑暗的東西掠過眼底。「我就是。停不下來。」

"Can't stop what?" Kyle asks. He balls up the tissues and throws them toward his trash can, misses.
「停不下來什麼？」凱爾問道。他將衛生紙揉成一團，朝垃圾桶扔去，卻沒投進。

"Eating," Stan says.  「吃東西，」史坦說。

"Well. You haven't gained weight."
「嗯，你沒變胖。」

"Kyle— I'm not worried about my fucking figure! I'm— It's not just food. I can't stop— consuming things. Liquor, too, but it doesn't get me drunk anymore. Even if I finish the bottle. And I can't stop this either."
「凱爾——我才他媽的不在乎我的身材！我是——不只是食物。我停不下來——一直吞東西。酒也是，但我已經不會醉了。就算喝完一整瓶也一樣。而且這個我也停不下來。」

"This?" Kyle is afraid he knows. He watches Stan bend down and pick up the tissues that are sticky with his own come, wiped from Kyle's ass. The act disgusts him, and yet he appreciates it as Stan brings them over to the trash can and drops them in.
「這個？」凱爾心裡有數，卻仍感到不安。他看著斯坦彎腰撿起那些沾滿自己精液的紙巾——那是從凱爾屁股上擦下來的。這個動作讓他作嘔，但當斯坦把紙團扔進垃圾桶時，他心底又泛起一絲感激。

"Fucking you," Stan says, mumbling. "I think about it nonstop. I feel crazy on the way here, like. Like I want to tear you apart. But not— Not really!" He turns toward Kyle again, showing him that terrified gaze. "I wouldn't hurt you, it just. I need it."
「幹你，」史丹低聲咕噥著。「我無時無刻都在想這件事。來這裡的路上我覺得自己快瘋了，就像...就像我想把你撕碎一樣。但不是——不是真的！」他又轉向凱爾，露出那種驚恐的眼神。「我不會傷害你，只是...我需要這樣。」

"Are you drunk right now?" Kyle asks, though Stan sounds disturbingly lucid. Stan scowls.
「你現在是喝醉了嗎？」凱爾問道，儘管史丹聽起來清醒得嚇人。史丹皺起了眉頭。

"No," he says, his voice hardening. "I just told you, I can't get drunk anymore. Are you calling me a liar?"
「不，」他的語氣轉硬。「我剛說了，我已經沒辦法喝醉了。你是在說我騙人嗎？」

"Jesus, no, calm down!"
「天啊，別這樣，冷靜點！」

Some of the rage drains from Stan's eyes, but before it does, Kyle feels truly threatened by it, just for a moment. He pulls the blankets up over himself to hide his nakedness, his heart beating a bit faster when Stan remains standing in the middle of the room, seeming as if he's trying to get hold of himself. His cock is getting hard again, a bit, which is strange.
史丹眼中的怒火消退了些，但在那之前，凱爾確實感受到了一瞬間的真實威脅。他拉起毯子遮住赤裸的身體，當史丹仍站在房間中央、似乎正試圖控制自己時，凱爾的心跳加快了些。奇怪的是，他的陰莖又微微硬了起來。

"Maybe you should go," Kyle says. Stan nods and then pinches his eyes shut so tight that it looks painful, shaking his head.
「也許你該走了。」凱爾說。史丹點點頭，然後緊閉雙眼，緊到看起來很痛苦的樣子，搖著頭。

"I know," he says, his voice strange, as if he's fighting some other words back. "I know I need to just. Leave you alone."
「我知道，」他的聲音聽起來怪怪的，像是在壓抑某些話語。「我知道我該...讓你一個人靜一靜。」

"Stan, what is going on? Do you need an adult? Need to see a doctor or something? I'm so confused, I— Thought we were just fuck buddies."
「史丹，到底怎麼回事？你需要大人幫忙嗎？還是要看醫生之類的？我完全搞不懂，我——還以為我們只是炮友關係。」

"Kyle! Of course we're not just fuck buddies! You're my best friend!"
「凱爾！我們當然不只是炮友！你是我最好的朋友！」

Now Stan sounds like himself, so much so that Kyle holds his arms out. He does it sort of automatically and doesn't expect Stan to rush right into them and crumple against his chest, but that's exactly what happens. Kyle pulls Stan closer and holds him tighter when he feels Stan shivering.
現在史丹聽起來像他自己了，以至於凱爾不自覺地伸出雙臂。他幾乎是下意識地這麼做，沒料到史丹會直接衝進他懷裡、整個人癱軟地靠在他胸前，但事情就這麼發生了。凱爾感覺到史丹在發抖，便將他摟得更近、抱得更緊。

"It doesn't matter," Stan says, his mouth hot on Kyle's shoulder. "I'm fucked."
「沒關係，」斯坦說，他的嘴在凱爾的肩膀上發燙。「我完蛋了。」

"What do you mean? No, you're not."
「你這話是什麼意思？不，你才不是。」

"Kyle, I am. There's something inside me and I can't get it out. It's going to consume me. When I can't eat enough, or drink enough, or fuck into you hard enough— Then this hunger will eat me, it'll eat me whole."
凱爾，是我。我體內有某種東西，我無法擺脫它。它會吞噬我。當我吃不夠、喝不夠，或是無法狠狠幹進你體內時——這股飢餓就會吃掉我，它會把我整個吞掉。

"Stan, you sound—" Kyle hesitates to use the word crazy. He strokes Stan's back and brings the blanket up to cover him, too. "You sound like you need to talk to someone. To a professional."
「史丹，你聽起來——」凱爾猶豫著是否該用「瘋了」這個詞。他輕撫史丹的背，把毯子拉上來也蓋住他。「你聽起來需要找人談談。找個專業人士。」

"I tried, Kyle. My shoes started melting."
「我試過了，凱爾。我的鞋子開始融化了。」

"Your— what?" Kyle puts his hand on Stan's forehead, reminding himself of his mother in a not very pleasant way. Stan's skin is hot, but that's been true for months. He always seems to be sweltering. "I think you need a doctor, dude," Kyle says, making his voice soft, needing Stan to actually listen. Stan sits up and shakes his head, pinching his eyes shut again.
「你的——什麼？」凱爾把手放在史丹的額頭上，這動作讓他不太舒服地想起自己的母親。史丹的皮膚發燙，但這情況已經持續好幾個月了。他看起來總是熱得冒汗。「兄弟，我覺得你需要看醫生，」凱爾放輕聲音說道，希望史丹能真的聽進去。史丹坐起身來搖搖頭，再次緊閉雙眼。

"I'm doomed," he says. He pulls himself from Kyle's arms and begins to dress.
「我完蛋了，」他說。他從凱爾的懷抱中掙脫出來，開始穿衣服。

"Are you suicidal?" Kyle asks, as gently as he can. The way Stan laughs at this question seems— Unnatural. Unnerving, certainly.
「你有自殺傾向嗎？」凱爾盡可能輕聲問道。史丹對這個問題的笑聲顯得——不太自然。令人不安，這是肯定的。

"No," Stan says. "Dammit, Kyle, are you even listening? I'm doing everything I can to survive this for as long as I can. Including— You."
「不，」史丹說。「該死的，凱爾，你到底有沒有在聽？我已經竭盡所能讓自己撐得越久越好。包括——你。」

"Me?"  「我？」

"It helps," Stan says, muttering. "When I go home, I'll be able to sleep. Because I came in you."
「這有幫助，」史丹低聲咕噥著。「等我回家，就能睡著了。因為我進過妳裡面。」

"Huh." Kyle is tempted to feel insulted. Mostly he's just confused. "Well. We could fuck again?" He probably shouldn't; he's already sore from Stan really giving it to him tonight, and the night before that, and the night before. But he's addicted to it, too, and he wants to feel close to Stan right now, to help him with whatever the hell he's going through.
「哼。」凱爾差點覺得被冒犯了，但更多是感到困惑。「好吧，我們可以再來一次？」他其實不該這麼做的——史坦這晚、前一晚、再前一晚都把他搞得渾身痠痛。但他已經上癮了，此刻他只想貼近史坦，幫他度過這該死的低潮期。

"No," Stan says, sharply. "I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, if I'm still me."
「不行，」史坦語氣堅決地說。「我得走了。明天見，如果那時我還是我。」

"Who else would you be?"
「不然你還能是誰？」

"Bye, Kyle." Stan kneels onto the bed, headed for the window. He leans and gives Kyle a chaste, somewhat shocking kiss on the lips before reaching for the window. When he pulls back, Kyle searches Stan's eyes, his heart pounding and his mind reeling. Stan blinks, swallows, and goes.
「掰啦，凱爾。」史丹跪上床鋪，朝窗戶移動。他傾身給了凱爾一個純潔卻令人震驚的唇吻，接著伸手去開窗。當他退開時，凱爾凝視著史丹的雙眼，心跳加速、思緒混亂。史丹眨了眨眼，嚥了下口水，然後離去。

When Stan is gone, Kyle sits in bed for a while and tries to process what just went on. He almost wants to write it all down, in an organized fashion, and then definitely does. He puts his laptop into the bed and opens a new document, types:
當史丹離開後，凱爾在床上坐了一會兒，試著消化剛剛發生的一切。他幾乎想有條理地把所有事情寫下來，然後他真的這麼做了。他把筆電搬到床上，打開一個新文件，鍵入：

 

• 1. We had sex.
  我們做愛了。

 

 

• 2. Stan told me a story about growling at Wendy.
  史丹告訴我一個關於對溫蒂低吼的故事。

 

 

• 3. Stan segued into a kind of confession that he fears he's losing his mind.
  3. 史丹轉而坦承他害怕自己正在失去理智。

 

 

• 4. Stan denied requiring help and left, claiming to be doomed.
  史丹否認需要幫助並離開，聲稱自己注定完蛋。

 

Kyle stares down at this list of facts, hating all of them. Even the sex, because he knows he'll grab his legs and hold them against his chest while Stan plows him again tomorrow night, solving nothing. Apparently Stan is suffering, too. Kyle supposes he sort of knew that, that this window-climbing behavior coupled with Stan's unwillingness to end the lie that was his relationship to Wendy were already two important signs pointing toward STan being at least a bit unraveled. But this thing about an insatiable hunger is new, and apparently he's distanced himself from Wendy only because he caught himself literally growling at her. Kyle thinks about getting in touch with her, maybe texting that they could meet tomorrow to discuss Stan's current issues, but then he resents the idea that he'd need her help with this, or that she has any real insights on Stan that should be valued over his own.
凱爾低頭瞪著那份事實清單，對每一條都感到厭惡。就連性愛也是——因為他知道明晚史丹再度進入他體內時，自己又會抓住雙腿蜷縮起身子，而這根本解決不了任何問題。顯然史丹也在受苦。凱爾猜想自己多少察覺到了，那些爬窗行為加上史丹不願終結與溫蒂的虛假關係，早已是兩個重要徵兆，顯示史丹至少有些精神崩潰。但這種永無饜足的飢渴感倒是新發現，而且他之所以疏遠溫蒂，竟是因為發現自己會對著她低吼。凱爾考慮聯絡溫蒂，或許傳訊息約明天見面討論史丹的現狀，但隨即又厭惡起這個念頭——他居然需要她的協助，或是她對史丹的見解會比自己的更有價值。

As he's getting dressed, Kyle hears a car in the driveway. He frowns, wondering if Ike has been out late with friends, and decides to go downstairs to investigate when he hears loud whispering and muffled laughter. Ike is popular and has been pushing at their parents' boundaries lately. Kyle is slightly concerned about Ike, but nowhere near as worried as he's become about Stan over the course of this evening. Regardless, he creeps downstairs intending to tell IKe to keep it down unless he wants to attract the ire of their parents, expecting to find Ike and a few friends slightly baked and scavenging in the fridge. Instead, when he walks into the dark kitchen, he sees his father and Eric Cartman eating ice cream right from the container.
凱爾正穿衣服時，聽到車道上有車聲。他皺起眉頭，心想該不會是艾克又跟朋友混到這麼晚，決定下樓查看——這時他聽見壓低的竊竊私語和悶住的笑聲。艾克在學校很吃得開，最近老是在挑戰爸媽的底線。雖然凱爾對弟弟有點擔心，但遠不及他今晚對史丹的憂慮程度。總之他躡手躡腳下樓，打算叫艾克小聲點，除非這小子想惹爸媽發火。他原本預期會看到艾克和幾個朋友微醺地在冰箱翻找食物，沒想到走進漆黑的廚房時，卻撞見老爸和艾瑞克·卡特曼正直接抱著冰淇淋桶挖來吃。

Kyle puts on the light and they both blink against this sudden illumination.
凱爾打開燈，突如其來的亮光讓兩人都不禁眨了眨眼。

"What the fuck," Kyle says. He glares at Cartman, then at his father. They look at each other, at Kyle, then back at each other, and both burst into laughter at the same time, melted ice cream spilling disgustingly down over Cartman's chin.
「搞什麼鬼，」凱爾說。他瞪著卡特曼，然後又瞪向他父親。他們互看了一眼，又看向凱爾，接著再次對視，兩人同時爆出笑聲，融化的冰淇淋噁心地沿著卡特曼的下巴滴落。

"Sorry, Kyle," Gerald says. "We just got back from the Nuggets game and—"
「抱歉啦，凱爾，」傑拉德說。「我們剛從金塊隊比賽回來，然後——」

"What? You two went to a Nuggets game together?"
「什麼？你們兩個一起去看金塊隊比賽？」

"Yeah, it was pretty sweet," Cartman says, giving Kyle a shit-eating grin that makes Kyle want to throw both of the kitchen chairs that are in within reach at him. Kyle has been aware of his father's weird, verging on creepy "friendship" with Cartman since hearing the news that they both got stuck with volunteering for some legal aid charity. He's against it. Unfortunately, Kyle's mother thinks that Cartman needs a ‘positive male role model' in his life, for the good of South Park and society as a whole, and she's been encouraging this travesty since the start.
「是啊，超爽的。」卡特曼說著，對凱爾露出那種欠扁的賊笑，讓凱爾恨不得把觸手可及的兩張廚房椅全砸到他臉上。自從聽說老爸和卡特曼被迫一起擔任某個法律援助慈善團體的志工後，凱爾就意識到他們之間那種詭異到近乎噁心的「友誼」。他當然反對這種關係。不幸的是，凱爾的母親認為卡特曼人生中需要個「正向男性楷模」，為了南公園鎮乃至整個社會著想，她從一開始就鼓勵這場荒謬劇。

"I might have liked to go to a Nuggets game," Kyle says, glowering at his father. "You are aware that I'm a basketball fan, I think?"
「我本來可能還想去金塊隊的比賽，」凱爾瞪著他父親說道。「你應該知道我是籃球迷吧？」

"I asked you if you were busy tonight," Gerald says. "You said you had plans."
「我問過你今晚忙不忙，」傑拉德說。「你說你有安排了。」

Plans, right: the nightly rough fuck from Stan. When Kyle's gaze slides to Cartman's he feels as if Cartman is reading this on his face, still giving him that sneering smile.
計畫，沒錯：每晚與史坦的激烈性愛。當凱爾的目光滑向卡特曼時，他感覺卡特曼彷彿從他臉上讀出了這些，仍舊掛著那抹譏諷的笑容。

"You and Stan must have been hanging out, huh?" Cartman says, pronouncing ‘hanging out' in a way that deliberately insinuates they were doing more than that.
「你和史坦一定經常『廝混』吧？」卡特曼說道，刻意用「廝混」這個詞暗示他們之間不只如此。

Kyle doesn't dignify that with a response. He gives his father one last withering look and turns out the light in the kitchen.
凱爾不屑回應，只是最後冷冷地瞥了他父親一眼，隨手關上了廚房的燈。

"I'll leave you two to your ice cream," he says, hatefully. Cartman stopped begging him for clandestine ass poundings in the band closet months ago, and though Kyle doesn't miss it at all, something about the fact that this coincided with the start of Cartman's friendship with his father is alarming.
「你們兩個慢慢享用冰淇淋吧。」他語帶厭惡地說。幾個月前，凱子已經不再哀求他在樂器櫃裡偷偷來一發了。雖然凱爾一點也不懷念那種事，但這件事恰巧與凱子開始和他父親交好的時間點重疊，這讓他感到不安。

As Kyle heads back up the stairs, he hears Cartman's stupid laugh again. He tells himself that whatever is going on with that vile fat ass is beneath his regard. Kyle has bigger problems at the moment, such as why Stan thinks he's doomed and how Kyle can save him if that happens to be true.
凱爾走上樓梯時，又聽見卡特曼那愚蠢的笑聲。他告訴自己，那個可惡的肥屁股不管在搞什麼鬼都不值得他關注。此刻凱爾有更棘手的問題要處理，比如為什麼史丹覺得自己完蛋了，以及如果這真的發生，凱爾該如何拯救他。

---

When he hears Kyle's bedroom door close upstairs, Cartman throws the ice cream covered spoon onto the kitchen table, letting the ice cream splatter there. He doesn't give a fuck. Gerald still holds the container, giving Cartman a searching look.
當凱爾的臥室門在樓上關上時，凱子把沾滿冰淇淋的湯匙甩向廚房餐桌，任憑冰淇淋濺得到處都是。他根本不在乎。傑拉德仍握著冰淇淋盒，用探究的眼神盯著凱子。

"What if you fucked me right here on the table?" Cartman asks, in a seductive whisper. Gerald looks horrified by the suggestion, but he's probably actually pretty turned on.
「要是你現在就在這張桌子上幹我，會怎樣？」卡特曼用誘惑的耳語問道。傑拉德對這個提議露出驚恐的表情，但他心裡八成已經興奮起來了。

"Eric," Gerald says, in a less seductive, kind of angry-sounding whisper. "Please. You promised this kind of talk would— Cease."
「艾瑞克，」傑拉德壓低聲音說道，語氣不再那麼誘人，反而帶著一絲憤怒。「拜託。你保證過這種話題會——到此為止。」

"I don't think you really want it to cease, Mr. B."
「我不認為你真的想讓這一切結束，B 先生。」

Gerald likes being called Mr B. Cartman called him that just before their first kiss, the power of which Gerald now wants to deny. That was months ago, on Valentine's Day, when Cartman was crying in the front seat of Gerald's car about how no one has ever really loved him. He'd had half a bottle of cinnamon schnapps and barely knew what he was doing, but when Gerald touched his shoulder it was on. The fiery chemistry between them cannot be denied. If Gerald actually wanted to stop it, he would have ditched Cartman by now, but he hasn't. Cartman knows what he's really waiting for: the bullshitting 1st of July. Cartman's eighteenth birthday. Gerald is a lawful good druid, pretty much. Cartman is a chaotic evil wizard with a mad craving for Broflovski dick, and Kyle's just seems so passe and lame now that Gerald's is possibly on the horizon.
傑拉德喜歡被稱為 B 先生。凱子第一次這麼叫他時，就在他們初吻之前——而現在傑拉德極力想否認那次親吻的魔力。那是幾個月前的情人節，當時凱子在傑拉德車子的前座哭訴著從來沒有人真正愛過他。他喝了半瓶肉桂利口酒，幾乎不知道自己在做什麼，但當傑拉德碰觸他的肩膀時，一切就這麼發生了。他們之間熾熱的化學反應無可否認。如果傑拉德真想停止這一切，他早該甩掉凱子了，但他沒有。凱子心知肚明他真正在等待的是什麼：那個狗屁的七月一日。凱子的十八歲生日。傑拉德本質上是個守序善良的德魯伊。而凱子則是混亂邪惡的法師，瘋狂渴求著布羅夫斯基的老二——如今凱爾的傢伙在傑拉德的可能登場下，顯得如此過時又遜咖。

Gerald sighs and puts the ice cream away. He brings a dish towel over to Cartman and holds it out to him, looking said.
傑拉德嘆了口氣，把冰淇淋收起來。他拿了條抹布走向卡特曼，神情哀傷地遞給他。

"Wipe your chin, Eric," Gerald says.
「擦擦你的下巴，艾瑞克。」傑拉德說。

Cartman sort of loves being given commands by him. There's just— Something about it. It's pretty cool. So he does as asked, licking his lips afterward. Seductively.
卡特拉其實有點喜歡被他命令的感覺。就是——那種感覺很特別。挺酷的。所以他照做了，事後還舔了舔嘴唇。帶著挑逗意味。

"You're driving me crazy," Gerald says, still whispering.
「你快把我逼瘋了，」傑拉德依然低聲說道。

"I know," Cartman says. He sits on the table, the stupid, flimsy thing creaking under his weight. He's gained a bit recently. That always happens when he's happy, or when he's depressed. Maybe once Gerald starts actually fucking him he'll stop teetering back and forth between one or the other all the time. "You could have me right here," Cartman says, leaning back onto his elbows, the table creaking more loudly as he settles his full weight onto it. "Fuck the law. No one would have to know."
「我知道，」卡特曼說。他坐在桌上，那張愚蠢又脆弱的桌子在他體重下發出吱呀聲。最近他又胖了點。每當他開心或沮喪時總是這樣。或許等傑拉德真的開始幹他時，他就不會再這樣反覆搖擺不定了。「你現在就可以在這裡上我，」卡特曼往後靠到手肘上，當他全身重量壓上去時，桌子發出更響亮的嘎吱聲。「去他媽的法律。沒人會知道。」

"Eric, get up. Enough."
「艾瑞克，起床。夠了。」

But he doesn't mean it. They sat close at the basketball game. Gerald bought him all the snacks he wanted. Didn't make him eat from a bag of shitty sneaked-in pretzels the way Liane always does. Gerald confessed to Eric, after their steamy make out in the car on Valentine's Day, that he is bisexual and has talked with his wife about exploring outside their marriage. This whole thing is basically going to happen, as long as Cartman doesn't die of lust before his eighteenth birthday.
但他並不是認真的。他們在籃球賽時坐得很近，傑拉德買了所有他想吃的零食給他，不像莉安總是偷偷帶進一包難吃的椒鹽脆餅打發他。傑拉德在情人節那晚與艾瑞克在車上激情擁吻後坦承，自己是雙性戀，而且已經和妻子談過要探索婚姻外的關係。只要卡特曼別在十八歲生日前被慾火燒死，這整件事基本上就會成真。

"Do you think Kyle suspects something?" Cartman asks when he sits up, hoping so. Gerald groans and shakes his head.
「你覺得凱爾有懷疑什麼嗎？」阿ㄆㄧㄚˇ坐起身問道，心裡暗自期待著。傑拉德呻吟著搖搖頭。

"I don't think Kyle has the imagination required to conceive of this," Gerald says. "I certainly didn't, before it— Happened."
「我不認為凱爾有足夠的想像力能構思出這種事，」傑拉德說。「至少在我親身經歷之前，我是絕對想不到的。」

"So it is happening! Ha, you admit it!"
「所以這真的發生了！哈，你承認了！」

"Shh, please keep your voice down. Maybe we should call it a night. Let me drive you home."
「噓，請小聲一點。或許我們該結束今晚了，讓我開車送你回家。」

"Nnn, but I barely got any ice cream before Kyle barged in here and ruined the moment!"
「嗯，可是我冰淇淋都還沒吃幾口，凱爾就衝進來破壞氣氛了！」

"I'll buy you an ice cream on the way home."
「回家的路上我請你吃冰淇淋。」

"But it's after ten, all the shops are closed!"
「但現在已經十點多了，所有商店都關門了！」

"Not the 7-Eleven. Don't they have the cookie sandwich things you like?"
「不是 7-11 啦。他們不是有你喜歡的那種餅乾三明治嗎？」

"Oh, yeah." Cartman grins and reaches for Gerald, who moves away. "You know all the things I like."
「喔，沒錯。」卡特曼咧嘴一笑，伸手想抓傑拉德，後者卻閃開了。「你知道我喜歡的所有東西。」

"Come on, Eric." Gerald's tone is scolding and indulgent at the same time. It's like verbal heat that goes right to Cartman's dick as he stumbles out of the kitchen, hoping that Kyle is upstairs worrying that his former pity fuck is about to steal his dad away from his mom. Cartman isn't into this whole ‘exploring outside the marriage thing' — not in the long term, at least. He fully plans to snatch Gerald away for himself. It should be easy once Gerald has known the pleasure of Cartman's newly eighteen-year-old ass, and perhaps even easier if Cartman manages to enclose Gerald's dick in his jailbait ass before then. That would mean blackmail material, after all.
「快點，艾瑞克。」傑拉德的口氣既像責備又帶著縱容。這番話語如同熱流直衝阿ㄆ一ㄚˇ的胯下，他踉蹌地走出廚房，暗自希望凱爾正在樓上擔心他曾經出於憐憫而上的砲友即將搶走他老爸。阿ㄆ一ㄚˇ對這種「婚姻外探索」的把戲沒興趣——至少長期來說是這樣。他完全打算把傑拉德據為己有。等傑拉德嘗過他剛滿十八歲的嫩屁股，這事應該會很簡單；要是他能在那之前用未成年誘餌的後庭夾住傑拉德的老二，或許會更容易。畢竟，那將成為絕佳的把柄材料。

But Cartman doesn't like the idea, somehow, though it's pretty much genius and would work great in terms of making a demand that Gerald leave his wife. It would also kind of ruin things, maybe. This is pure, this is beautiful, and Cartman likes the way Gerald looks at him now. As if Cartman is actually… innocent. Something that should be cherished and protected. Someone who deserves an ice cream cookie sandwich at eleven o'clock on a school night, someone Gerald would rather be at a basketball game with than his own stupid kid.
但卡特曼不知怎地並不喜歡這個主意，儘管它簡直天才到爆，而且對於要求傑拉德離開他老婆會非常有效。這或許也會有點毀了整件事。這很純粹，這很美，而卡特曼喜歡傑拉德現在看他的眼神。彷彿卡特曼真的是...無辜的。某種值得珍惜與保護的存在。一個在平日上課夜裡十一點該得到冰淇淋夾心餅乾的人，一個傑拉德寧願陪著去看籃球賽而非自家蠢兒子的人。

The 7-Eleven is a glowing oasis in the midst of the shut down shops and dark storefronts of this lame ass town. Someday Cartman is going to blow this popsicle stand and live in the city that never sleeps: Los Angeles, where he will share a mansion with Gerald amid palm trees and famous people, and Gerald will be a big shot celebrity lawyer and Cartman will be a big time celebrity manager, and they'll have a swimming pool in their backyard and sunbathe naked and have their servants bring them cookie ice cream sandwiches. In the meantime, Cartman selects a jumbo-sized one from the cooler in the back of the 7-Eleven and laughs when Gerald gets a stupid rocket pop for himself.
這座鳥不拉屎的小鎮裡，7-11 就像一片閃閃發光的綠洲，周圍盡是打烊的商店與漆黑的店面。總有一天，卡特曼要逃離這個鬼地方，搬到那座不夜城——洛杉磯。他會和傑拉德一起住在棕櫚樹環繞的豪宅裡，周圍都是名人。傑拉德會成為叱吒風雲的名人律師，卡特曼則是呼風喚雨的明星經紀人。他們後院會有座游泳池，裸著身子曬太陽，讓僕人端來餅乾夾心冰淇淋三明治。此刻，卡特曼從 7-11 後方冰櫃挑了支巨無霸冰棒，看到傑拉德只拿了支蠢斃了的火箭冰棒時，忍不住哈哈大笑。

As they approach the checkout counter, another pair making a late-night purchase does the same. It's Kenny and some guy with black hair and dark eyes that also seem kind of —Red? The guy is freakishly pale but also super hot, and he looks like an asshole. Typical. Kenny would go for that type. They're buying condoms and cigarettes.
當他們走向結帳櫃檯時，另一對深夜購物的情侶也做了同樣的事。是肯尼和某個黑髮黑眼的傢伙——那雙眼睛怎麼好像有點...泛紅？那傢伙蒼白得嚇人但又該死地性感，而且看起來就是個混蛋。典型。肯尼就愛這款。他們正在買保險套和香菸。

"You boys go ahead," Gerald says. He seems nervous, fidgeting.
「你們先去吧。」傑拉德說道。他看起來有些緊張，坐立不安。

"What are you two up to at this hour?" Kenny asks when the black-haired guy goes to the register to pay. Kenny seems amused, and maybe he shouldn't look so smug while he also has bite marks on his neck and puffy lips that look like they've nearly been sucked off his face by that pale prick who is paying with a crisp $100 bill, as if everyone is supposed to be impressed by him or something.
「你們兩個這時間在搞什麼啊？」肯尼問道，當那個黑髮小子走向櫃檯結帳時。肯尼看起來挺樂的，不過他實在不該擺出那副得意樣——畢竟他脖子上還留著咬痕，腫脹的嘴唇活像被那個正在用簇新百元大鈔付帳的蒼白混帳給吸得快脫層皮似的，好像大夥都該對他肅然起敬還是怎樣。

"Oh, Cartman and I work together at the legal aid society," Gerald says, though that's not true anymore. They both finished their community service hours there months ago. "We're just, ah. Pulling an all-nighter. On behalf of the homeless. They need legal representation, too!"
「噢，卡特曼和我在法律援助協會一起工作，」傑拉德說道，雖然這已經不是事實了。他們倆幾個月前就完成那邊的社區服務時數了。「我們只是，呃。為了無家可歸的人通宵加班。他們也需要法律代表啊！」

"Yeah," Kenny says, eyeing Cartman. "They certainly do."
「是啊，」肯尼盯著卡特曼說。「他們確實會。」

"Who's that asshole?" Cartman asks, nodding to the guy who is buying Kenny condoms and smokes. The guy turns, snarling. Trying to look scary. Cartman could kick his ass, probably. Though actually he's kinda tall, and sort of built, even though he's slender at first glance. He has a broad chest and his teeth are, like— Sharp? But whatever. Gerald won't let Cartman get his ass kicked in a 7-Eleven.
「那混蛋是誰啊？」卡特曼朝正在幫肯尼買保險套和香菸的傢伙努了努嘴問道。那傢伙轉過身來，齜牙咧嘴地試圖擺出兇狠樣。卡特曼大概能把他打趴——雖然這傢伙其實有點高，乍看瘦削但身材其實挺結實，胸膛寬闊，牙齒還他媽的尖得像什麼似的。不過管他的，傑拉德總不會讓卡特曼在 7-11 裡被人揍扁吧。

"This is my friend," Kenny says hurriedly. The black-haired guy snorts.
「這是我朋友，」肯尼匆忙說道。黑髮男子不屑地哼了一聲。

"Please, Kenny," he says. "Introduce me properly. We have nothing to hide."
「拜託嘛，肯尼，」他說。「好好介紹我一下。我們沒什麼好隱瞞的。」

Kenny stares at the guy. Seems kinda angry. Cartman suppresses a smile. This is about to get humiliating for Kenny, perhaps, which is good.
肯尼瞪著那傢伙，看起來有點不爽。卡特曼憋著笑。這下肯尼可能要出糗了，真不錯。

"I'm his master," the guy says, slinging his arm around Kenny's bitten-up neck. "Damien Thorn. Perhaps you've heard of me."
「我是他的主人，」那傢伙說著，一把摟住肯尼滿是咬痕的脖子。「戴米恩·索恩。或許你聽過我的名號。」

"Uh, no," Cartman says. "Are you and Kenny doing gay porn together or something?"
「呃，才不是，」阿ㄆ一ㄚˇ說。「你跟阿尼該不會是在一起拍甲片吧？」

"Hardly." Damien smiles. "You really don't remember me, do you, piggy?"
「才怪。」戴米安笑著說。「你真的不記得我了對吧，小豬？」

"Hey now," Gerald says. "There's no reason for, uh. Insults, boys."
「嘿，」傑拉德說。「沒必要這樣，呃。說這些難聽話，孩子們。」

"Silence, old man," Damien says, hissing behind each word. He turns back to Cartman, who was going to tell this fucker right off before he saw the red shit in his eyes sort of— flicker. "You don't remember how I ruined your birthday party?" Damien asks. "When we were kids?"
「閉嘴，老頭。」達米安說道，每個字都帶著嘶嘶聲。他轉回身面對卡特曼，後者原本正要直接嗆爆這傢伙，卻瞥見他眼裡那抹紅光詭異地——閃爍。「你不記得我是怎麼毀掉你的生日派對了？」達米安問。「在我們還是小鬼的時候？」

"What the fuck?" Cartman says. "I've never seen you before in my life!"
「搞什麼鬼？」阿ㄆ一ㄚˇ說。「我這輩子從來沒見過你！」

"Let's just go," Kenny says, under his breath. "Sir," he adds when Damien's burning gaze slides to him.
「我們走吧，」肯尼低聲說道。「長官，」當戴米恩灼熱的目光掃向他時，他又補上一句。

"Fine," Damien says coolly, drawing his fingers along Kenny's jaw. "I desire your hot little hole again anyway, slave."
「好吧，」戴米安冷冷地說，手指沿著肯尼的下巴滑動。「反正我又想要你那火熱的小洞了，奴隸。」

"Jesus Christ!" Eric says. "Gross!"
「耶穌基督啊！」艾瑞克說。「真噁心！」

"Kenny," Gerald says, looking similarly distraught. "Do you need an adult?"
「肯尼，」傑拉德說道，看起來同樣心煩意亂。「你需要大人幫忙嗎？」

"I am an adult," Kenny says, looking glum about it. "I'm eighteen."
「我已經是個大人了，」肯尼悶悶不樂地說。「我十八歲了。」

"He's fine, you mortal fool!" Damien says, the red in his eyes seeming to flare outward again. "Mind your damn business with your own teenage lover!"
「他好得很，你這凡人的蠢貨！」戴米恩說道，眼中的紅光似乎又向外閃爍。「管好你自己跟小情人的破事吧！」

"What!" Kenny's eyes go wide and he stares at Cartman, then at Gerald. "Wh— What?" He seems halfway cheered up by this, halfway horrified.
「啥！」肯尼瞪大眼睛，先是盯著卡特曼，接著轉向傑拉德。「什——什麼？」他看起來既因為這個消息振奮，又同時感到驚恐。

"Now, that's— heh," Gerald says. He drops his rocket pop. It snaps in half inside its plastic wrapper. "That's just silly," Gerald says, bending down to pick it up. Something makes it melt before he can, entirely, as if a laser beam has focused on it. Cartman gets the feeling that Damien did that somehow, and moves away from him when he smiles at the sight of Gerald hold a soggy packet full of melted pop.
「這還真是——嘿，」傑拉德說道。他的火箭冰棒掉在地上，塑膠包裝裡斷成兩截。「太蠢了吧，」傑拉德彎腰想撿起來。但某種力量讓冰棒在他碰到前就完全融化，彷彿有雷射光束聚焦在上頭。卡特曼感覺這八成是戴米恩搞的鬼，當他看到傑拉德拎著那袋濕漉漉的融化冰棒時露出的笑容，讓卡特曼默默挪遠了腳步。

"You still have to pay for that," the guy behind the counter says.
「你還是得付錢，」櫃檯後面的傢伙說道。

Damien laughs. "Enjoy your evening," he says. "Sodomizers. See you in hell."
戴米安笑了。「好好享受你的夜晚吧，」他說。「雞姦犯們。地獄見。」

"Ey!" Cartman says as Damien walks off with Kenny. "You can't— You can't call us sodomizers! You just bought a 12 pack of condoms to fuck Kenny with! You're the sodomizer, asshole!"
「喂！」凱子看著戴米安帶著肯尼走開，大聲嚷嚷。「你憑什麼——憑什麼罵我們是雞姦犯！你才剛買了一打保險套準備幹肯尼耶！你他媽才是雞姦犯啦，混蛋！」

He knows he's playing with fire, perhaps literally, but this dickhole can't push his middle-aged boyfriend around, fuck no.
他知道自己在玩火，或許是字面上的意思，但這個混蛋休想對他中年男友呼來喚去，門都沒有。

Damien doesn't even turn back, still laughing as he walks out through the sliding doors with his arm around Kenny.
戴米安甚至沒有回頭，仍舊笑著，手臂搭在肯尼肩上，兩人一起穿過滑門走了出去。

"It's not sodomy if you're immortal," Damien calls back. "It's more akin to bestiality, but the heart wants what it wants. Ta, future denizens of my domain."
「如果你是不死之身，那就不算雞姦，」戴米恩回喊道。「這更接近獸交，但心之所欲難以抗拒。再會了，我未來領地的子民們。」

"What the fuck?" Cartman says when they're gone. "Mr. B— Are you okay?"
「搞什麼鬼？」他們離開後，凱子說。「B 先生——你還好嗎？」

"Of course I'm okay," Gerald sighs and pulls out his wallet, pays for the melted rocket pop and for the ice cream cookie sandwich that Cartman is already unwrapping and sinking his teeth into, needing the sweet reassurance of sugar on his tongue to soothe him after the weird shit that just went down. "What a strange boy," Gerald says, watching Damien and Kenny climb into what looks like a very expensive Mercedes, Damien sliding in behind the wheel.
「我當然沒事，」傑拉德嘆了口氣，掏出錢包付了融化火箭冰棒的錢，還有卡特曼已經拆開正大口咬下的冰淇淋夾心餅乾——這孩子剛經歷那詭異場面後，急需舌尖上的甜味安撫。「真是個怪孩子，」傑拉德看著戴米安和肯尼鑽進那台看似價值不菲的賓士車時說道，只見戴米安滑進駕駛座。

"Yeah, seriously," Cartman says, chewing. "I guess Kenny's into some weird shit. That doesn't surprise me. He was always a little freak."
「對啊，認真的，」阿ㄆ一ㄚˇ邊嚼邊說。「肯尼那傢伙八成在搞什麼變態玩意兒。我一點都不意外啦，他本來就是個怪胎。」

Gerald drives Cartman home, and when they park outside of Liane's house Cartman tries to lean in for a kiss, as usual. Gerald mutters a lame protest and lets Cartman kiss his lips in chaste little pecks, then in a full on ice cream-flavored makeout, until they both have erections and Gerald is somewhat literally throwing Cartman out of the car, saying he'll see him tomorrow.
傑拉德開車送卡特曼回家，當他們停在莉安家門外時，卡特曼照例又想湊上去索吻。傑拉德含糊地咕噥著蹩腳的抗議，任由卡特曼先是純情地輕啄他的嘴唇，接著演變成冰淇淋口味的激情熱吻，直到兩人都起了生理反應。傑拉德幾乎是用扔的把卡特曼趕下車，只丟下一句「明天見」。

"Soon," Cartman says to himself, hard and standing in the snowy front yard as he watches Gerald peeling away, surely hurrying home to jerk off in the shower like the sadly unfulfilled man he is. He'd better not put the rocks to Kyle's mom while thinking of Cartman.
「快了，」凱子自言自語道，他直挺挺地站在積雪的前院，看著傑拉德駕車離去，那傢伙肯定急著回家在淋浴間打手槍，就像個可悲的慾求不滿男人。這渾蛋最好別一邊想著凱子，一邊對凱子的老媽意淫。

Although—  雖然——

Cartman grins. He kinda likes the idea, in a fucked up way. He's always been a little freak, too, if he's honest with himself.
卡特曼咧嘴一笑。說實話，他內心深處還挺喜歡這個扭曲的點子。畢竟他自己也一直是個怪咖。

---

Satan is not unaccustomed to waking up feeling hungover after a night that he can't entirely remember, but this is different. The room doesn't smell like sulfur, and what appears to be actual greyish sunlight is streaming in through the window over this mysterious bed, which appears to belong to some mortal. Satan sits up with a grown, his head aching as he searches the sheets for whatever asshole he ended up bending over for after getting too blitzed to remember leaving whatever Seventh Circle bar he'd been cruising in, but there's no one in bed with him, and something else is— Deeply wrong. He feels incredibly weak. Small. He looks down at his hands and groans when he sees they are flesh-toned and tiny, belonging to some human.
撒旦對於宿醉醒來後完全不記得前一晚發生什麼事並不陌生，但這次情況不同。房間裡沒有硫磺味，窗外透進來的似乎是真正的灰濛陽光，照在這張神秘床鋪上——這顯然是某個凡人的床。撒旦呻吟著坐起身，頭痛欲裂地翻找床單，想看看昨晚在第七層地獄酒吧喝茫後，自己到底把哪個混蛋壓在身下搞到失憶，但床上除了他空無一人，而且還有件事——非常不對勁。他感到異常虛弱。身體變小了。低頭看見自己那雙膚色正常的小手時，他發出痛苦呻吟——這分明是人類孩童的手。

Great, terrific. He's possessed some dude on Earth without even meaning to. Again.
太好了，太棒了。他又一次無意間附身了地球上的某個傢伙。

Satan rubs his eyes, sighs. Damien is likely behind this, and he's just so tired of trying to reign the little bastard in. Though technically he's not a bastard so much as whatever the equivalent of not having a mother is. Though also Satan might be considered Damien's mother more than his father. He sort of doesn't like to think about the whole thing now, but at one time in his immortal existence he was so determined to have a baby of his own that he did a kind of spell on himself that allowed him to create a child from his own materials entirely. There was a pregnancy, a birth. Those first few weeks were bliss, but babies age fast in hell, and soon Damien was a holy terror unlike anything Satan had dealt with before. In a way he's kind of proud of the man his son has become, as he's fierce and dark and very handsome, but this ‘I'm going to take over Hell, fuck you, Dad' shit is getting really old after several centuries of adolescence that seem as if they really should have ended already.
撒旦揉了揉眼睛，嘆了口氣。這八成又是戴米恩搞的鬼，他實在受夠了要管束這個小王八蛋。雖然嚴格來說他算不上私生子，畢竟這小鬼根本沒有母親——真要說的話，撒旦自己反而比較像他的母親而非父親。現在他不太願意回想這段往事，但在永恆生命中的某個時刻，他曾經如此渴望擁有自己的孩子，甚至對自己施了某種咒術，完全用自己的血肉孕育出後代。那段懷孕與分娩的過程，還有最初幾週的天倫之樂——可惜地獄裡的嬰兒成長飛快，沒多久戴米恩就成了連撒旦都招架不住的混世魔王。某種程度上他其實挺以兒子為傲，畢竟這小子既兇狠又邪魅，還長得十分英俊，但這種「我要統治地獄，去你的老爸」的戲碼，在持續了好幾個世紀的青春期裡實在演到讓人膩味，照理說早該結束了才對。

At the mirror over this human's wardrobe, Satan peers at the body he's now occupying. Perhaps strangely, Damien has chosen a human who looks a bit like himself, though not pale and less sharp-featured: this is a boy verging-on man with black hair and very tired-looking blue eyes, nice features and a good body. Hmm. Satan looks down at himself and nods in approval.
在這人類的衣櫃鏡前，撒旦端詳著他現在佔據的軀體。或許有點奇怪，戴米恩選擇了一個與自己略有相似的人類，雖然膚色不那麼蒼白、五官也沒那麼銳利：這是個介於男孩與男人之間的軀體，黑髮、帶著疲憊神情的藍眼睛，五官端正且身材不錯。嗯。撒旦低頭審視自己，滿意地點了點頭。

He's always sort of wanted to be human. Well, no, that's not true. He's always wanted to enjoy the pleasures of Earth while inhabiting a mortal from. The trouble is that he tends to destroy the mortals he occupies before long, unintentionally, and though he knows that makes him soft-hearted, he really does feel bad about it. These people have only so long to live outside of his domain, and he's got all of eternity to enjoy the pleasures of Hell that are available to him, as different and sometimes inferior as they may seem to what humans get to experience up here. He sighs and tries to concentrate on removing himself from this mortal cage, but maybe he's just too hungover, because it's not working. Anyway, he's got some time before his human is doomed: he might as well, like, eat some real food, feel the sunlight on his skin, and maybe fuck a dude, since this guy's body is giving off some majorly toppy vibes.
他一直都有點想當人類。呃，不對，這不是真的。他真正渴望的是在附身凡人時享受人間的樂趣。問題在於他總會在無意間很快毀掉那些被附身的軀殼，雖然明白這種想法顯得心軟，但他確實為此感到愧疚。這些人在他管轄範圍外能活的時光如此短暫，而他卻擁有永恆來享受地獄裡能獲得的歡愉——儘管那些樂子與人類在陽世體驗的相比，時常顯得遜色又不同。他嘆了口氣，試著專注於脫離這具凡人軀殼，但或許是宿醉未消，怎麼都使不上力。反正離這具肉身報廢還有段時間：不如趁機嚐點真正的食物、感受陽光灑在皮膚上的溫度，或許還能搞個男人——畢竟這副身體正散發著強烈的攻君氣場。

The mortal's consciousness can't really be accessed: it's balled up into a corner, crouched and hiding from him in terror, exhausted after fighting off the possession for weeks. Or months? Years? Something about this is more fucked up than usual. Satan sighs again. Getting the soul of the person he's inhabiting to communicate with him is useless, and this poor kid wouldn't know how to help him evacuate anyway, so he crosses the hallway of the kid's house, wearing the kid's flannel pants and sporting the kid's morning wood, and takes a piss. Even taking a piss feels good, in a human body. Lucky fuckers get everything. It's part of why Satan enjoys torturing them in Hell. They had it so good up here, and it's like, why? What did humans really do to deserve all these riches, God? Other than being His random, drooling favorites? It's the injustice that will haunt Satan for all eternity.
凡人的意識其實無法真正觸及：它蜷縮成一團躲在角落，驚恐地躲避著他，在抵抗附身數週後已精疲力竭。或是數月？幾年？這次的情況比往常更他媽詭異。撒旦又嘆了口氣。要讓這具軀殼的靈魂與他溝通根本徒勞，何況這可憐的小鬼也不可能知道如何幫他脫離，於是他穿著小鬼的法蘭絨睡褲、頂著晨勃穿過屋內走廊去撒尿。即便只是排尿，在人類軀體裡也感覺如此美好。這些幸運的混蛋什麼都享受得到。這正是撒旦樂於在地獄折磨他們的部分原因——他們在人間過得如此滋潤，憑什麼？上帝啊，人類究竟做了什麼配得上這些恩賜？除了當祂隨機挑選的流涎寵兒？這份不公將永遠折磨著撒旦。

He returns to the human's room and consults some homework assignments on his computer to determine his name: Stan Marsh. Sounds familiar, for some reason. As predicted, the guy's computer is loaded with gay porn. He watches a few videos, wistful, then feels a powerful need to eat that is also sort of arousing, very novel and primal, with the edge of human vulnerability that always gets him off.
他回到人類的房間，在電腦上查閱了一些作業資料，確認他的名字叫史丹·馬許。不知為何，這名字聽起來有點耳熟。正如預期，這傢伙的電腦裡塞滿了男同志色情片。他看了幾部影片，帶著一絲惆悵，然後感到一股強烈的進食慾望——這種慾望同時也帶著某種興奮感，非常新奇而原始，夾雜著人類脆弱性的邊緣感，這總能讓他興奮起來。

Downstairs, there are no parents or other interested parties to keep him from taking what he wants from the fridge, so he makes himself four Eggo Waffles and eats them in a hurry, grunting under his breath at the delicious processed flavors. Back upstairs, he dresses in Stan's clothes and consults Stan's phone, which is beeping with a blue light. He has a new message from Kenny McCormick.
樓下沒有父母或其他好事者阻攔他從冰箱裡拿取食物，於是他快手快腳地做了四片樂格鬆餅，邊低聲咕噥著讚嘆那些加工食品的美味。回到樓上後，他穿上史丹的衣服，查看那部正閃著藍光嗶嗶作響的手機——肯尼·麥考密克傳來新訊息。

"Ah!" So that's why this Stan's guy's name sounds familiar. Kenny used to be Satan's BFF, and they talked about Kenny's problems up in South Park all the time, along with Satan's troubles in Hell. That was before Damien stole Kenny away from Satan like the sandy little butthole he is.
「啊！」原來如此，難怪這個史丹的名字聽起來這麼耳熟。肯尼以前可是撒旦的麻吉，他們經常聊肯尼在南園鎮遇到的麻煩，還有撒旦在地獄的煩惱。這一切都在戴米安那個沙包小混蛋把肯尼從撒旦身邊搶走之前。

Remembering this, Satan hesitates to disclose, over the phone, that he is currently possessing Kenny's human friend Stan. He consults the message Kenny has sent:
回憶起這件事，撒旦在電話中猶豫著是否要透露他目前正附身在肯尼的人類朋友史丹身上。他查看了肯尼傳來的訊息：

Dude, Kyle is really worried about you. He says you broke up with Wendy? What's up?
老兄，凱爾真的很擔心你。他說你跟溫蒂分手了？發生什麼事了？

Satan wonders what Stan has been like in the days leading up to his possession. Typically it makes humans unpleasant to be around. He responds to Kenny's message:
撒旦好奇史丹在被附身前的日子是怎麼過的。通常這種情況會讓人變得難以相處。他回覆了肯尼的訊息：

Dude, let's meet and discuss. You free?
老兄，我們見個面討論一下吧。你有空嗎？

Hopefully this diction resembles Stan's usual style of communication. Satan supposes it must have been fine, because Kenny's response comes swiftly and he doesn't seem to suspect anything.
希望這樣的措辭能符合史丹平常的說話風格。撒旦猜想應該沒問題，因為肯尼很快就回應了，而且似乎沒起疑心。

I'm actually with Kyle right now. You okay with him knowing that you're willing to talk about it?
我現在跟凱爾在一起。你介意讓他知道你願意談這件事嗎？

Why wouldn't I be? Satan asks, hoping to gain some insight on the situation from Kenny's response.
我為什麼不會呢？撒旦問道，希望能從肯尼的回答中獲得一些對情況的洞察。

I thought maybe this alleged weirdness had to do with you fucking Kyle.
我猜這所謂的怪事可能跟你和凱爾上床有關。

Oh, Satan sends back, wondering if this ‘Kyle' is attractive. Nah it's something else, he sends, because he's got to tell them what's really going on sooner rather than later, in order for Stan to be saved. Kenny will help— He's some kind of deeply magical creature who even predates God, Satan thinks, though it's hard to be sure —and this Kyle person probably won't interfere, if he's fucking the actual owner of this body.
噢，撒旦回覆道，好奇這個「凱爾」是否長得迷人。不，是別的原因，他傳訊說，因為他必須盡快告訴他們真相，才能拯救史丹。肯尼會幫忙——撒旦認為，他是某種極其神秘的生物，甚至比上帝更早存在，雖然難以確定——而這個叫凱爾的人大概不會插手，如果他正在跟這具身體的真正主人上床的話。

Come on over then, Kenny sends. We're at Kyle's, in the backyard.
那就過來吧，肯尼傳訊說。我們在凱爾家，在後院。

Satan is not a good driver, since he can normally just bilocate, but he manages to reach Kyle's house by focusing his dark energy on Kenny and determining his location, and he doesn't run anybody over on the way there, though he does get honked at a lot by other cars, their drivers seeming to imply that he doesn't know what he's doing. It's a relief to park the car outside of Kyle's house and to walk through the snow and into the backyard, where he finds Kenny and Kyle sitting on an old swingset, their hot human breath puffing in the cold air. Kyle is a ginger who appears to be Kenny's age, kind of cute but not really Satan's type, and he looks nervous at Satan's approach. Hopefully he can't tell anything is wrong yet. Kenny just smiles.
撒旦並不是個好駕駛，畢竟他通常都能直接分身移動，但他還是成功將黑暗能量集中在肯尼身上並鎖定位置，一路開到了凱爾家。雖然途中被不少車輛按喇叭，那些駕駛似乎都在暗示他根本不懂怎麼開車，但至少沒撞到任何人。把車停在凱爾家門外，踏著積雪走進後院時，他總算鬆了口氣。肯尼和凱爾正坐在老舊的鞦韆上，兩人呼出的熱氣在冷空氣中凝成白霧。凱爾是個紅髮男孩，看起來和肯尼同齡，雖然有點可愛但完全不是撒旦的菜。他緊張地看著走近的撒旦，希望他還沒察覺任何異狀。肯尼則只是微笑著。

"You look terrible," Satan says, drawing up short when he's close enough to see the dark circles under Kenny's eyes and the bruises on his neck. Bite marks: Damien. "Who did that to you?" Satan asks, his voice coming out too deep, too unlike Stan's.
「你看起來糟透了。」撒旦說道，當他靠近到足以看清肯尼眼下的黑眼圈和頸部的瘀青時，突然停住了腳步。那些咬痕：是戴米恩幹的。「誰把你弄成這樣的？」撒旦問道，他的聲音過於低沉，一點也不像史丹的。

"Did— What?" Kenny adjusts the hood of his parka, trying to hide the marks. "It's nothing, dude. Just rough sex with a good lay."
「啥——什麼？」肯尼拉了拉派克大衣的兜帽，試圖遮住那些痕跡。「沒事啦，老兄。只是跟個好炮友玩得有點激烈。」

"Ugh," Satan says, wincing when he imagines Damien and Kenny as lovers. It's all wrong for both of them. "Well," he says, hoping that Damien isn't eavesdropping, psychically or otherwise. "I think you could do better."
「呃，」撒旦皺著眉頭說道，一想到達米安和肯尼成為戀人就讓他渾身不對勁。這對他們倆來說簡直大錯特錯。「這個嘛，」他壓低聲音說，暗自祈禱達米安沒有用讀心術或其他方式偷聽。「我覺得你可以找到更好的對象。」

"Man, whatever," Kenny says. He kicks off and swings a little. Kyle is staring at Satan, looking sad rather than suspicious. "What's going on with you?" Kenny asks, pumping his legs so he'll swing higher. "You've scared the crap out of Kyle."
「唉，隨便啦。」肯尼說道。他蹬了一下地面，輕輕盪起鞦韆。凱爾正盯著撒旦，神情憂傷而非懷疑。「你怎麼回事？」肯尼邊問邊用力擺動雙腿讓鞦韆盪得更高，「你把凱爾嚇得半死。」

"Shut up, Kenny!" Kyle reaches over to slap Kenny's arm. He sighs and looks at Satan again. "Do you still think you're doomed?" Kyle asks. "You seem— Calmer, suddenly."
「閉嘴啦，肯尼！」凱爾伸手拍打肯尼的手臂。他嘆了口氣，再次看向撒旦。「你還是覺得自己注定完蛋嗎？」凱爾問道。「你看起來——突然冷靜多了。」

"Uh, yeah." Satan scratches at Stan's ear and glances around the yard. He's never actually announced his possession to a concerned loved one before. At least Kenny is here to mediate. "About that. I've been going through— Well. Stan has been going through a difficult change, recently. An unnatural one, you might say."
「呃，對啦。」撒旦搔搔史丹的耳朵，環顧庭院四周。他其實從未向擔憂的親友坦承過附身這件事。至少肯尼在場能幫忙緩頰。「關於這個嘛...我最近經歷了——該怎麼說呢。史丹正在經歷一段艱難的轉變期，某種程度上可以說...不太自然的那種。」

"Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?" Kyle asks, looking unamused.
「你剛剛是在用第三人稱稱呼自己嗎？」凱爾問道，看起來一點也不覺得有趣。

"Well, no," Satan says. "Because, you see. I'm not actually, like. Stan."
「呃，不是，」撒旦說。「因為你看，我其實並不是...那個...史丹。」

"What?" Kenny laughs, then glances at Kyle and looks less amused when his eyes return to Satan. Kyle looks heartsick, like he's contemplating Stan's forthcoming commitment to a mental institution. Satan sighs. He's going to have to demonstrate his powers.
「啥？」肯尼笑了出來，接著瞥了凱爾一眼，當他視線轉回撒旦時，臉上的笑意便淡了下來。凱爾看起來心碎欲絕，彷彿正在想像史丹即將被送進精神病院的畫面。撒旦嘆了口氣。看來他非得展現一下自己的神力不可了。

"Kenny," he says. "You know me. We used to be bros."
「肯尼，」他說。「你認識我。我們曾經是好兄弟。」

"We— uhhh." Kenny looks at Kyle again. Kyle is still staring at Satan, studying him, as if suddenly he does think something might be different. "Come again?" Kenny says.
「我們——呃。」肯尼又看了凱爾一眼。凱爾仍盯著撒旦，仔細打量著他，彷彿突然間真的察覺到某些異樣。「你說什麼？」肯尼問道。

"My son and I are having some difficulties. I believe you are aware, seeing as how you've been fucking Damien for almost six months now."
「我兒子和我之間有些問題。我想你應該知道，畢竟你和戴米恩已經搞在一起快六個月了。」

Kenny frowns and rears backward, grabbing the chains of the swing. "What?" he says. "How did— How do you know that?"
肯尼皺起眉頭，向後仰身抓住鞦韆的鐵鍊。「什麼？」他說，「你怎麼——你怎麼會知道這件事？」

"Dude, it's me. Satan. Damien kicked me out of Hell again, and he's stuffed me into your friend's body. I'm not sure what his game is this time. Do you know?"
「老兄，是我啦。撒旦。達米安又把我趕出地獄，還把我塞進你朋友的身體裡。我搞不懂他這次在玩什麼把戲。你知道嗎？」

"Okay," Kyle says, standing. "No."
「好吧，」凱爾站起身說道。「不行。」

"If you're really Satan—" Kenny begins to say, but before he can finish, Satan holds out his hand and makes a ball of fire appear in his palm. It's a dumb trick, but he's impressed a lot of guys he ended up in bed with it, even down in Hell, where it shouldn't really be that impressive. Kyle screams.
「如果你真的是撒旦——」肯尼開口說道，但話還沒說完，撒旦就伸出手，掌心突然冒出一團火球。這招很蠢，但確實唬過不少最後跟他上床的傢伙，就連在地獄裡也一樣——雖然在那裡這根本沒什麼好大驚小怪的。凱爾尖叫起來。

"Okay," Kenny says, hopping out of the swing. "What the fuck!"
「好吧，」肯尼說著從鞦韆上跳下來。「搞什麼鬼！」

"Dude, I know!" Satan closes his fist around the fireball, putting it out. Kyle has stopped screaming but is scrambling backward, crashing into the swing he'd been sitting in and then tripping straight through it, landing on his ass. "Tell your friend it's okay," Satan says. "We're gonna figure this out, bros. Damien isn't as powerful as he thinks he is."
「老兄，我知道啦！」撒旦握拳掐滅了火球。凱爾已經停止尖叫，但正手忙腳亂地向後退，撞上他原本坐著的鞦韆後直接絆倒，一屁股跌坐在地。「告訴你朋友沒事的，」撒旦說。「我們會搞定這一切的，兄弟們。戴米安沒他自己想的那麼厲害。」

"There's something I need to tell you, too," Kenny says. He glances at Kyle. "Dude," he says. "It's okay. We're gonna fix this."
「我也有件事要告訴你，」肯尼說。他瞥了凱爾一眼。「兄弟，」他說。「沒事的，我們會解決這個問題。」

"What," Kyle says, panting. "What—"
「什麼，」凱爾氣喘吁吁地說。「什麼——」

"What do you need to tell me?" Satan asks, glad that Kenny doesn't seem to be siding with Damien on this.
「你有什麼要告訴我的？」撒旦問道，很高興肯尼在這件事上似乎沒有站在達米安那邊。

"Well," Kenny says. He holds out his hands in a gesture that reminds Satan a bit of his old pal Jesus. "I think I might be the Second Coming of Christ," Kenny says.
「這個嘛，」肯尼說道。他伸出雙手的姿勢讓撒旦想起他的老友耶穌。「我想我可能是基督再臨，」肯尼說。

"I'm dreaming," Kyle says. He takes handfuls of snow and jams them again his cheeks, shouting when he feels the cold. "I'm dreaming!" he shouts again, anyway.
「我在作夢，」凱爾說。他抓起一把把的雪往臉頰上抹，感受到冰冷時大聲尖叫。「我在作夢！」儘管如此，他還是又喊了一次。

"Can you give him a Xanax or something?" Satan asks. "And explain what you mean by the— Wait, if you're the Second Coming, where's Jesus?"
「你能給他來顆贊安諾還是什麼的嗎？」撒旦問道。「還有解釋一下你說的——等等，如果你是第二次降臨，那耶穌在哪？」

"Exactly. I haven't seen him in South Park in years. And I can— Well, you know about my powers."
「沒錯。我已經好幾年沒在南園看到他。而且我可以——嗯，你知道我的能力。」

"Yeah, but— Dude, no. You're older than God. You can't be his son, in any shape or form."
「是啦，但是...老兄，別鬧了。你年紀比上帝還大，怎麼可能是祂兒子，不管從哪個角度看都不對吧。」

"I'm— What?"  「我——什麼？」

"I never told you that? I mean, it's just a theory, but I have a pretty strong feeling—"
「我沒跟你說過嗎？我是說，這只是個理論，但我有很強烈的感覺——」

"All right," Kyle says, pulling himself to his feet. "Stan. Kenny. You fucking assholes. This isn't funny. I demand that you show me how you did that trick. WIth the fire in his palm!" he shouts when they both just stare at him. "Show me, now!"
「好了啦，」凱爾一邊說一邊站起身來。「史丹。肯尼。你們這兩個王八蛋。這一點都不好笑。我命令你們立刻告訴我剛才那個把戲是怎麼變的！」見兩人只是愣愣地盯著他，他氣得大吼：「就是手掌噴火那個！現在就示範給我看！」

"Kenny," Satan says. "Can I turn you into a platypus real quick? Just so he'll believe us?"
「肯尼，」撒旦說。「我可以把你暫時變成一隻鴨嘴獸嗎？這樣他才會相信我們。」

Kenny sighs and tilts his chin up, staring up at the sky as if he has a bone to pick with God right now. "Fine," Kenny says.
肯尼嘆了口氣，仰起下巴望向天空，彷彿此刻正想跟上帝好好理論一番。「好吧，」肯尼說道。

Ten minutes later, Kenny is human again, Kyle has gotten very quiet and pale but seems to have accepted what is happening, and Satan is conjuring a portal to hell adjacent to the swingset.
十分鐘後，肯尼恢復了人形，凱爾變得異常安靜且臉色蒼白，但似乎已接受眼前發生的一切，而撒旦正在鞦韆旁召喚通往地獄的傳送門。

 

-Bamfcrawler-  《當南園的燈火熄滅時，第二章－春》

 

"Get in, losers," he says when it's complete. He hopes they'll recognize the quote. It's from his favorite movie. "We're going to Hell."
「上車吧，廢物們，」完工時他說道。他希望他們能認出這句台詞。這是他最愛的電影裡的。「我們要去地獄了。」

 

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