Archive of Our Own ^beta

The sound of moans rang loud in the confinement of the dim room. 
昏暗的房間裡，呻吟聲響亮地迴盪著。

It’s embarrassing, knowing that those noises are coming out of his own mouth, as Beomgyu was lying face down on the mattress, making a mess out of it. He was naked from below the waist. The friction of the sheets was starting to irritate his skin as he’s getting rocked into the fabrics, all because of the other male who was caging him down into the bed, pressing him down and providing nowhere else to go other than to take it. 
這些從自己嘴裡發出的聲音讓范奎感到羞恥，他面朝下趴在床墊上，把床單弄得一團亂。他的下半身赤裸著。隨著他被壓進床單的動作，布料摩擦開始刺激他的皮膚，這一切都是因為那個將他困在床上、壓制著他、讓他無處可逃只能承受的男人。

“Hyung,” he whined, voice higher than his usual deep voice. His fingers fisting the sheets next to the pillow. He sobbed into the said cushion as Soobin pressed his face into his neck, his breathing hot and harsh against his skin, Beomgyu might as well have caught on fire right there. 
「哥...」他帶著哭腔喊道，聲音比平時低沉的嗓音更高亢。他的手指緊抓著枕頭旁的床單。當秀彬把臉埋進他的頸窩時，他對著枕頭啜泣起來，秀彬灼熱而急促的呼吸噴在他的皮膚上，范奎覺得自己簡直要著火了。

The pace of Soobin’s hips moving against him was getting faster, their room was condensed with humid air from their exertions, and Soobin was rutting against his ass, skin slapping. He feels Soobin’s hand underneath his abdomen, caressing his bare skin and holding around him tightly just before he breathed out the command into his earlobe, lips hot against the skin.
秀彬抵著他擺動臀部的速度越來越快，房間裡瀰漫著他們激烈運動產生的濕熱空氣，秀彬不斷撞擊著他的臀部，皮膚相觸發出拍打聲。他感覺到秀彬的手掌貼在他的腹部下方，撫摸著他赤裸的肌膚並緊緊環抱著他，接著那對熾熱的唇瓣貼著他的耳垂，呼出命令的氣息。

“Cum.”  「射了。」

The wail that escaped Beomgyu’s lips was almost embarrassing as he jerked under the other, gasping and losing his breath when he was being held down to take the onslaught when Soobin fucked him through it. He started losing his mind, head lolled on the pillow and his eyes squeezed shut when Soobin worked himself to completion, finally relaxing atop of him, his weight comforting and suffocating at once. 
範奎發出的嗚咽聲幾乎令人難為情，他在對方身下顫抖著，當秀彬持續抽插時，他被壓制著承受這波攻勢，喘息著幾乎無法呼吸。他開始神智不清，頭顱在枕上無力地晃動，雙眼緊閉，直到秀彬達到高潮，最終放鬆地壓在他身上，那重量既令人安心又同時令人窒息。

The room was filled with their breathing sound that’s gradually growing even, giving a sense of calmness that contrasts with the heated moment they shared just minutes ago.
房間裡充斥著他們逐漸平穩的呼吸聲，與幾分鐘前共享的激情時刻形成鮮明對比，帶來一種平靜的氛圍。

It was supposed to be a tender moment after such an intimate situation. The ideal for them as a couple was to bask in the afterglow together, gentle kisses and intertwined hands. After all, you were the most vulnerable after sex, that moment you became most sensitive to each other, so prone to catching feelings. 
這本該是親密過後的溫存時刻。作為一對情侶，他們理應一起沉浸在餘韻中，輕吻彼此、十指交纏。畢竟性愛後總是最脆弱的時刻，那時你們對彼此的感受最為敏銳，也最容易動情。

Except with these two, there were only grunts of discomfort. The illusion was broken the moment Beomgyu’s fingers relaxed from around the fabric, reaching out to clasp his hand around the video camera and switch it off before swatting it away. But he still couldn’t move under the weight of the other guy that was still comfortably lying down atop him. 
但這兩個人卻只有不舒服的咕噥聲。當范奎的手指從布料上鬆開，伸手抓住攝影機關掉電源並將它拍開時，幻象便破碎了。然而他仍無法動彈，因為另一個男人仍舒舒服服地壓在他身上。

“Get your ass off me, what the fuck, stop moving like that, your dick is touching my thigh?” he yelled, squirming under the weight. 
「把你的屁股從我身上移開，搞什麼鬼，別那樣動來動去，你的老二碰到我的大腿了？」他在對方的重量下扭動著身子大喊。

Soobin laughed, and being the annoying roommate slash best friend (sadly for Beomgyu), he didn’t comply right away. His weight stayed dead on top of him, and he went even so far to clutch around his waist and squeeze him. 
秀彬笑了，身為一個煩人的室友兼死黨（對范奎來說很不幸），他並沒有馬上照做。他的體重依然重重壓在范奎身上，甚至還變本加厲地環抱住他的腰並用力緊勒。

“Weren’t you begging for my dick earlier, Beomie?” he teased, rubbing his nose against the back of his ear, which started to redden whether from shame or anger. It was closer to the latter. 
「剛剛不是還求著要我的老二嗎，范奎？」他調侃道，用鼻子蹭了蹭對方發紅的耳後，那抹紅不知是出於羞恥還是憤怒——但顯然更接近後者。

“FUCK OFF!”  「滾開！」

He exploded finally, throwing the taller male off his frame. Soobin doubled over in laughter, having no shame at all that he was sitting there with his pants off and his dick exposed. He raised his brows when Beomgyu threw a blanket over him. 
他終於爆發了，把那個高個子從自己身上推開。秀彬笑得彎下腰，完全不在意自己褲子脫了、老二還露在外面。當範奎扔了條毯子蓋住他時，他還挑了挑眉。

“Why? Not like you haven’t seen everything.”
「為什麼？反正你什麼都看過了。」

“Just because I’ve seen everything, doesn’t mean I wanted to see your disgusting disco stick.”
「就因為我什麼都看過，不代表我想看你那根噁心的迪斯可棒。」

Beomgyu crawled towards the camera to check the footage that they just took. The duration was not that long, and they might have to blur out their faces later on. But that’s not the important point here. The important thing was to make the video believable. The angle of their position should not expose the true nature behind this amateur porn video they were making. 
Beomgyu 爬向攝影機檢查剛才拍攝的畫面。影片長度不算太長，之後可能還得把他們的臉打上馬賽克。但這不是重點，重要的是要讓影片看起來可信。他們擺放的拍攝角度必須掩飾這場業餘色情影片背後的真實情況。

He felt Soobin moving to peek over his shoulder towards the screen, humming in thought. “Why did we dim the lights again? It’s so blurry now.”
他感覺到秀彬湊過來偷瞄螢幕，若有所思地哼了一聲。「我們幹嘛又把燈調暗？現在畫面糊成這樣。」

“We can’t let our faces show?”
「我們不能讓表情露餡嗎？」

“They’re shown anyway.”  「反正他們都被看到了。」

“I can blur them out, but we need to make sure it looks like we’re actually fucking!”
「我可以把他們模糊掉，但我們得確保看起來像真的在做愛！」

“I did a good job at that though,” Soobin gestured at the camera, huffing as he plops back onto the mattress, but not without landing a slap on Beomgyu’s bare bottom, earning a hiss from the guy. “Better than you, what kind of pillow princess.”
「我這部分可是表現得很好，」秀彬對著鏡頭比劃，氣呼呼地倒回床墊上，但不忘順手拍了范奎光溜溜的屁股一記，惹得對方倒抽一口氣。「比你強多了，你這種枕頭公主。」

“EXCUSE ME?”  「不好意思？」

“I did all the work!”
「這些都是我做的！」

“WE did some research just now and this is what those bottoms did! They just lie down there and take the fucking. I’m a good bottom and I sound very hot, fuck you.”
「我們剛剛做了點研究，這就是那些零號幹的好事！他們就躺在那裡被幹。我可是個稱職的零號，而且叫床超辣，去你的。」

“Doesn’t make you less of a pillow princess.”
「這又沒讓你少當一點枕頭公主。」

Beomgyu took a deep breath, resisting the urge to pounce at the guy and choke him, and not in a sexy way at all. But he couldn’t afford a lawyer if he were to be tried for an assault case, not when he couldn’t even afford the rent for this battered apartment he was occupying with his roommate.
範奎深吸一口氣，強壓下想撲向那傢伙掐住他脖子的衝動——而且完全不是出於什麼性感的原因。但他可請不起律師來打傷害官司，畢竟他現在連和室友合租的這間破公寓的租金都快付不起了。

//

In retrospect, he should not have listened to Soobin, no matter how dire the situation was
回想起來，他真不該聽秀彬的話，不管情況有多糟

This happened just a few hours ago. A rather impulsive decision that Beomgyu started to regret now.
這件事發生在幾個小時前。一個相當衝動的決定，讓范奎現在開始後悔了。

They had to pay their rent the following week and they didn’t have enough, with how many hours Beomgyu had to cut from his part-time job after the finals and Soobin. Soobin sometimes forgot that he had to pay half of the rent, and this time he ended up spending most his money on a new pair of earbuds.
他們下週就得付房租了，但錢根本不夠——期末考後，範奎被迫縮減打工時數，而秀彬又老是忘記自己得分攤一半的租金。這次秀彬甚至把大部分錢都砸在一副新耳機上。

They had to somehow earn the money this week, or they would have to sleep on the streets. Basically, they were fucked.
他們這週無論如何都得賺到錢，否則就得露宿街頭了。基本上，他們完蛋了。

“I can borrow from my parents to cover for the rest this month…” Beomgyu mumbled, biting onto his nails as he stared down at the paper filled with numbers and scribbled out words. 
「這個月的差額我可以先跟爸媽借...」范奎咬著指甲，低頭盯著那張寫滿數字和塗改痕跡的紙張喃喃自語。

“You did that for our rent three months ago and haven’t returned it,” his roommate responded from across the room. It elicited a groan from him as he let his head fall with a thud onto the floor, repeatedly bumping lightly on top of the cold tile. 
「你三個月前就為了房租這麼幹過，到現在還沒還錢。」他的室友從房間另一頭回應道。這話讓他發出一聲呻吟，腦袋重重地砸在地板上，在冰涼的磁磚上輕輕地來回磕碰。

It didn’t make sense for a studio apartment to be this expensive. There was barely enough room for the two of them, not even a table or a TV. It consisted of a wide room that they separated into two with a black tape in the middle to mark their own ‘territories’, a tiny bathroom, and a balcony to hang their laundry. It would bruise his ego to be kicked out of such a foul place.
一間套房要價這麼高實在沒道理。這裡的空間勉強夠兩個人住，連張桌子或電視都沒有。整個空間就是一間大房間，他們用黑色膠帶在中間劃分出各自的「領地」，外加一間小浴室和用來晾衣服的陽台。要是被趕出這種爛地方，他的自尊心肯定會受傷。

“I shouldn’t have moved out with you,” he whined, a rather familiar complaint that Soobin had gotten used to as they faced this kind of situation almost every month. 
「我不該跟你一起搬出來的，」他抱怨道，這句耳熟能詳的牢騷秀彬早已習慣，畢竟他們幾乎每個月都會面臨這種情況。

“What do you want me to do then? Get a sugar daddy?” 
「那你到底想我怎樣？去找個乾爹包養嗎？」

“Like someone rich would ever want you.”
「有錢人才不會看上你這種人。」

“Screw you. I’m hot.”  「去你的。 我超辣。」

Beomgyu gave him a look, which turned to be a longer one as he started considering the idea. He had been living with the guy for a year, and he had gotten too used to the sight of him that he never considered the hotness level Soobin had. Now that he actually opened his mind and looked at him again, he did look pretty handsome, not like he would ever admit it.
Beomgyu 給了他一個眼神，隨著他開始考慮這個想法，那眼神停留得更久了。他已經和這傢伙同居一年，早已習慣了他的模樣，從未想過 Soobin 的魅力值有多高。現在他真正敞開心扉再次打量他，確實長得挺帥的，雖然他打死也不會承認這點。

The guy’s image for him had been ruined after too many nights catching him crying snotty tears over a mildly sad movie and those nights of pretending to be asleep while his roommate jacking off a few meters away from him. Not a very pleasant experience. 10/10 a roommate he would replace.
這傢伙在他心中的形象已經徹底毀了，畢竟他看過太多次這人因為一部稍微感傷的電影就哭得鼻涕眼淚齊流，也經歷過無數次假裝睡著卻聽著室友在幾公尺外自慰的夜晚。實在不是什麼愉快的體驗。滿分十分的話絕對會想換掉的室友。

“If you’re so hot, maybe you should like… open an onlyfans and sell your nudes or something?”
「如果你這麼火辣，或許該考慮...開個 OnlyFans 賣賣裸照之類的？」

“So you think people would pay to see my nudes? That’s flattering for someone who doesn’t think I’m hot.”
「所以你覺得大家會花錢看我的裸照？對一個不覺得我性感的人來說，這還真是恭維啊。」

Beomgyu massaged his forehead, starting to get a headache after talking to the other instead of solving the initial problem. What did he expect from Choi Soobin, really?
范奎揉著太陽穴，和對方談話非但沒解決原本的問題，反而開始頭痛起來。他到底對崔秀彬有什麼期待啊？

At this point, he could only have his parents to rely on, after promising that he would never ask for money again after moving away from Daegu. What a disappointment.
此刻，他只能依靠父母了，明明當初搬離大邱時承諾過再也不會開口要錢。真是令人失望。

“Hey, I have an idea,” Soobin said again, earning his attention right away as his head shot up, throwing a look at the male over his shoulder. “Promise not to hit me.”
「嘿，我有個主意。」Soobin 又說了一遍，立刻引起他的注意，他猛地抬起頭，越過肩膀瞥了對方一眼。「保證不會揍我。」

“If you had to say that, it means the idea is bad. I don’t want it.”
「如果你非得這麼說，那表示這主意很爛。我不想要。」

“The idea is bad, but the money will be good. Are you sure you don’t want to know?” 
「這主意很爛，但錢會很多。你確定不想知道？」

Beomgyu stayed silent for a moment, trying to weigh out the options between asking people to borrow money or entertaining Soobin’s stupid idea. He decided on the latter. He had to entertain the guy’s stupid shits every day either way.
范奎沉默了片刻，試著在向人借錢和配合秀彬的蠢主意之間權衡。他選擇了後者。反正他每天都要應付這傢伙的蠢事。

“What is it?”   「什麼主意？」

“Let’s make a porn clip.”
「我們來拍 A 片吧。」

//

The whole process that built up prior to the shooting was nothing but a mess. They set up the video camera and a bed in the middle of the room. They dimmed the lights. Yet they only sat there like a couple of virgins who were about to have their first time with their first boyfriend.
拍攝前的整個準備過程簡直一團糟。他們在房間中央架設了攝影機和床鋪，調暗了燈光。但兩人卻像初次與男友發生關係的處子般，只是呆坐在那裡。

“How are we even supposed to do this?” Beomgyu said, tugging on the hem of his shirt to cover his thighs. He already shed his pants off, thinking that it would be as easy as the actual sex itself where everything just fell into place.
「我們到底該怎麼做啊？」范奎邊說邊拉著衣角想遮住大腿。他早就脫掉了褲子，以為會像實際做愛時那樣一切水到渠成。

But there was nothing easy about faking a sex scene in front of a camera, with your best friend.
但在鏡頭前與摯友假裝演出激情戲碼，絕非易事。

“Just lie down first then I get on top?”
「先躺下來，然後我再上去？」

“No shit. How are we going to have sex without actually have sex? Nevermind, why am I even asking you?” he groaned, finally crawling forward to flop down on his stomach atop the messy sheets. His cheek was uncomfortably pressed against the pillow while his dick brushed painfully against the bed.
「廢話。不真的做愛要怎麼做愛？算了，我幹嘛問你？」他呻吟著，終於往前爬了幾步，整個人趴在那團凌亂的床單上。他的臉頰不舒服地壓在枕頭上，而他的老二則痛苦地摩擦著床鋪。

Soobin must be as nervous as he was, because for once he didn’t quip an annoying remark or make a joke. Beomgyu heard the rustles of the fabric just before he felt Soobin’s warmth ghosting atop his own frame. He never noticed how big Soobin was compared to him, he felt so small even with just Soobin’s arms caging the sides of his head. 
秀彬一定和他一樣緊張，因為這次他沒有說出煩人的話或開玩笑。就在感受到秀彬的體溫籠罩自己之前，埈奎聽見了布料摩擦的沙沙聲。他從沒注意到秀彬比自己高大這麼多，光是對方的手臂框住他頭部兩側，就讓他感覺自己好渺小。

“I can’t believe I let you, out of all people, fuck me from behind,” he mumbled against the pillow, feeling Soobin’s hips pressing against his ass, and trying not to notice something else pressed against his thigh. This was so wrong on so many levels.
「真不敢相信我居然讓你，偏偏是你，從後面上了我，」他對著枕頭咕噥著，感受著秀彬的臀部緊貼著自己的屁股，同時努力不去注意還有什麼東西正抵著自己的大腿。這簡直錯得離譜。

Soobin laughed, voice so deep and so close to his ear. “Too bad you lost the rock paper scissors. It’s up to me now.”
秀彬笑了，聲音低沉得幾乎貼在他耳邊。「可惜你猜拳輸了，現在由我說了算。」

He rolled his eyes, but stayed silent. They had seen a few porn videos, it wouldn’t be so hard to recreate them. 
他翻了個白眼，但保持沉默。他們看過幾部 A 片，要重現那些畫面應該不難。

And they did okay, for a first timer. Beomgyu noticed after editing the video to blur out their faces that they really could pass as an actual couple having sex. Although he still couldn’t bear listening to his own faked and exaggerated moans, he couldn’t help but think that they did pretty well.
以初次嘗試來說，他們表現得還不錯。在後製影片模糊掉臉部後，玟奎發現他們真的可以假裝成正在做愛的情侶。雖然他還是無法忍受自己那些假裝又誇張的呻吟聲，但不得不承認他們演得挺像回事。

The illusion they built was pretty convincing, and as Beomgyu watched the video for a last check before posting it, he noticed a few things that he didn’t feel during the shooting itself. Things like the way Soobin was holding him, tilting his hips up in an angle that he knew would feel good if he was being fucked for real. The way Soobin held his hands while he fisted the sheets. The way he kissed Beomgyu’s neck in response to his desperate noises. 
他們營造的幻象相當逼真。當玟奎最後檢查要上傳的影片時，他注意到一些拍攝當下沒察覺的細節——比如秀彬摟著他的方式，將他腰部抬起的角度，那姿勢若是真的被上肯定很舒服；比如當他緊抓床單時，秀彬握住他手的模樣；又比如每當他發出難耐的喘息，秀彬就會親吻他脖子的反應。

It almost stirred something dangerous in his abdomen. He had to stop watching or even thinking about it before he got aroused for real.
這幾乎在他腹部激起某種危險的感覺。他必須停止觀看，甚至停止去想這件事，以免真的被挑起慾望。

“I’m uploading it,” he announced, earning a low hum from the other who had already gone back to his bed, fully clothed and scrolling down his phone nonchalantly.
「我正在上傳，」他宣布道，換來對方一聲低沉的哼聲，那人早已回到自己床上，衣著完整，漫不經心地滑著手機。

After clicking the button, he quickly turned his attention away, not wanting to admit that his heart started beating madly in his chest. He went to Seoul to get his degree, and now he was making an amateur (fake) porn video with his roommate. 
按下按鈕後，他迅速移開視線，不願承認自己的心臟開始在胸腔裡瘋狂跳動。他來首爾是為了取得學位，而現在他卻和室友一起拍了部業餘（假）色情影片。

The roommate who was fully unfazed, laughing over something that he saw on his phone as if he didn’t put Beomgyu in the most awkward situation he had ever experienced over the 21 years of his life. 
那個完全無動於衷的室友，正看著手機上的內容大笑，彷彿他沒把范奎推向 21 年人生中最尷尬的處境一樣。

“Soobin,” he called out again after crawling over towards the other, making him jump upon just realizing now that Beomgyu had gotten to him.
「秀彬，」他再次呼喚，同時爬向對方，讓秀彬在發現範奎已經來到身邊時嚇了一跳。

“What?”  「什麼？」

“How come you didn’t get hard at all? It’s almost insulting,” Beomgyu frowned, looking at Soobin with his pair of eyes round and almost innocent.
「你怎麼一點反應都沒有？這簡直是在侮辱人。」范奎皺著眉頭，用那雙圓潤又近乎天真的眼睛盯著秀彬。

At least until he reached out to pat the other between his legs, and Soobin’s horrified scream was the highlight of the day. 
至少在他伸手拍向對方兩腿之間時，Soobin 驚恐的尖叫聲成了當天最精彩的瞬間。

The video was fully uploaded by the time Beomgyu fled back to his part of the bed, and he could go to sleep content tonight after that little payback to his roommate for looking so unbothered. 
影片在范奎逃回自己那半邊床時已經完整上傳了，今晚他終於能心滿意足地入睡，畢竟這小小的報復行動讓他那位看起來毫不在意的室友吃了點苦頭。

That’s right. There’s no reason he should be nervous or bothered about the video when no one would probably watch it. Not everyone would be interested in some amateur porn where the guys’ faces were blurred.
沒錯。當這支影片可能根本沒人會看的時候，他實在沒必要感到緊張或困擾。不是所有人都會對這種臉部打碼的業餘色情片感興趣。

He had nothing to worry about other than where to get the money for rent. But that’s a thought for another day.
他除了要想辦法籌到房租外，沒什麼好擔心的。不過那是改天再煩惱的事。

//

He was proven wrong less than 24 hours later.
不到 24 小時後，他就被證明是錯的。

As both of them forgot to set up an alarm, the morning went by in a flurry of panicked curses and picking a random shirts from the floor so they could arrive at their respective morning class before the profs could mark their absence. There was no time to ponder about the bad decision from the night before or views in their video. 
由於兩人都忘了設鬧鐘，早晨在慌亂的咒罵聲中度過，他們隨手抓起地上的 T 恤，只為了趕在教授點名前抵達各自的早課。根本沒時間思考昨晚的錯誤決定或影片的觀看數。

It was after finishing his part time job that Beomgyu was aware of the notifications. First, he noticed that the counter of the unread emails were going up, mildly panicking and thinking he got his email hacked or he got another payment due, until he opened the very top email. 
兼職工作結束後，范奎才注意到那些通知。起初，他發現未讀郵件的數量不斷增加，心裡有些慌張，以為自己的電子郵件被駭了，或者又有帳單到期了，直到他點開最上方的那封郵件。

It was an alert of an anonymous tip, just one of the many that had filled the first page of his emails. 
那是一則匿名舉報的警示，不過是他電子郵件首頁眾多郵件中的其中一封。

It took him three whole minutes of standing in the middle of the busy street until it clicked in his head, just where the money came from and where the comments of ‘ that was hot!’, ‘nutted to this, thx.’ ‘bottom’s voice sounds good, i need more.’ ‘will you upload more’ could come from because 1) he was not a youtuber and 2) there was only one source of this kind of comment. 
他在繁忙的街道中央站了整整三分鐘，才猛然想通那些錢的來源，以及「這太辣了！」、「射爆了，感謝。」、「受的聲音真好聽，我還想要更多。」、「你會上傳更多嗎？」這類留言的出處——因為 1) 他根本不是 YouTuber，2) 會留下這種評論的來源只有一個。

“Holy shit,” it slipped out of his mouth first before it was repeating in his head in a litany of curses as he started running the rest of the way home. 
「靠北，」這句話先從他嘴裡溜了出來，接著在他腦海中不斷重複，伴隨著一連串的髒話，他開始拔腿狂奔剩下的回家路程。

The run up to their room in the third floor nearly made his lungs burst from the lack of air, but it was nothing much when he was rewarded with Soobin’s surprised - terrified face as he slammed the door open. 
衝上三樓房間的這段路程幾乎讓他缺氧到肺部爆炸，但當他猛然推開門看見秀彬那張驚恐萬分的臉時，這一切根本不算什麼。

“Holy shit, we’re rich!” 
「靠！我們發財了！」

Okay, that was an exaggeration, but judging from the way Soobin’s eyes widened to a size of a saucer when he showed him the amount of ‘donations’ they got, they were rich enough to have a place to sleep in for the rest of the month at least.
好吧，這說法是有點誇張，但從秀彬看到那些「捐款」金額時瞪得像碟子一樣大的眼睛來判斷，他們至少夠有錢能找個地方安穩睡到月底了。

“Holy shit, indeed,” Soobin whispered under his breath, just as fascinated as he was, and that was when they found out that Choi Soobin could actually come up with a smart idea for once.
「靠，還真的耶。」秀彬低聲咕噥著，同樣被眼前的景象震懾住——就在這一刻，他們才發現崔秀彬這傢伙居然也能靈光一閃想出好點子。

//

With the rent being paid, there was one less thing to worry about. 
房租付清了，少了一件煩心事。

Everything would have been brushed under the rug and forgotten if only Beomgyu didn’t come back to the video from time to time to read comments underneath. That was his first mistake, to be intrigued by what people would think of their scene, if anyone noticed at all. So far, apparently they got everyone fooled, which was also funny, considering he saw a few comments about them jacking off to this. To this video of them fake-fucking.
要不是 Beomgyu 時不時回來看影片底下的留言，這一切本該被掩蓋遺忘。這是他犯的第一個錯誤——好奇人們會怎麼看待他們的演出，是否有人察覺端倪。到目前為止，顯然所有人都被騙過了，這其實挺滑稽的，尤其當他看到幾則留言說有人對著這段假做愛影片打手槍。

That was it, until two weeks later when Beomgyu finally came back to the video again to witness a long discussion going on in the comments.
就這樣，直到兩週後，范奎終於再次回到影片，目睹評論區掀起了一場長篇討論。

They didn’t even make out, are you guys really believing that this is real?
他們連親熱都沒有，你們真的相信這是真的嗎？

You can’t see them going at it either.
你也看不到他們在搞什麼。

What are you saying? _._ i’ve been getting off to this
你在說什麼啊？_._ 我對這個超有感覺的

Dudes sound hot but maybe we need better camerawork… if they’re really fucking. 
這些傢伙聽起來很火辣，但或許我們需要更好的攝影技巧...如果他們真的在做的話

      The point is that it’s amateur
重點在於這是業餘拍攝

                Is it ok to fake it if it’s amateur? It’s a whole new level of faking an orgasm.
如果是業餘作品，假裝可以嗎？這完全是假裝高潮的全新境界

The comments pissed him off that Beomgyu slammed his chopsticks on the table. The small folded table they used to eat dinner while sitting on the floor. Soobin blinked up at him, his attention drawn away from his phone as well. 
那些評論讓范奎氣得把筷子摔在桌上。那張他們坐在地上吃飯時用的小摺疊桌。秀彬抬眼望向他，注意力也從手機上移開。

He shouldn’t have the right to be angry over what they were saying, yet it irked him, knowing that these people were discussing them like this. The thing about Choi Beomgyu was that he always wanted to prove people wrong. 
他其實沒資格對那些言論生氣，但知道這些人這樣議論他們，還是讓他心煩。崔范奎這個人就是這樣，總想證明別人是錯的。

“They are doubting our video! Saying it’s fake and stuff.”
「他們在質疑我們的影片！說那是假的之類的。」

“What video?” Soobin tilted his head to a side, only to have his eyes widened and realization filling his eyes when he earned a kick on his knee. “Ahh! That one. Isn’t it actually fake?”
「什麼影片？」秀彬歪著頭，直到膝蓋被踢了一腳才瞪大眼睛恍然大悟。「啊！那個啊。那不是假的嗎？」

Beomgyu stayed quiet for a few seconds, realizing the absolute truth of that statement. Still, the stubbornness got the better of him. He slammed his hand on the table again. 
范奎沉默了幾秒，意識到這句話完全屬實。但倔強還是佔了上風，他再次用力拍桌。

“Not the point! If they exposed us like this, we won’t get any more tips on our next video.”
「重點不是這個！要是他們這樣曝光我們，下次影片就收不到小費了。」

“What next video? It’s just a one time thing.”
「還下次影片？就這麼一次而已啦。」

“What if we’re running short for our next rent again? It’s due in two weeks and look what we are eating now? We even brought a new keyboard,” he scoffed, gesturing to the table filled with takeout orders that they decided to spend the last of their tips on as a reward. 
「要是我們下個月的房租又不夠怎麼辦？再兩週就要繳了，看看我們現在吃的是什麼？甚至還買了新鍵盤。」他嗤之以鼻地指著滿桌外帶餐盒——那是他們決定用最後的小費犒賞自己的成果。

Being a holder of the same brain cells, they never thought about what to do until the problem arose, which was why they always struggled a few days before having to pay rent. Beomgyu wouldn’t even bring it up if it was not to support his intention.
擁有相同腦迴路的兩人總是等到問題爆發才思考對策，這就是為什麼他們總在繳房租前幾天陷入窘境。要不是為了支持自己的企圖，范奎根本不會提起這件事。

Soobin ignored him to finish the rest of his food before he finally sighed, placing his chopsticks down as well. “What do you want to do, then? Do you want to have sex with me that much?”
秀彬沒理會他，自顧自吃完剩餘的食物後才嘆氣放下筷子。「那你到底想怎樣？就這麼想跟我上床嗎？」

Beomgyu’s face twisted in a disgusted look. “No?”
范奎的臉上露出嫌惡的表情。「不要？」

“What do you want me to do?!” Soobin grumbled, starting to get fed up.
「那你到底要我怎樣？！」秀彬抱怨道，開始感到不耐煩。

“I mean… making out is okay, or foreplay. We don’t need to actually have sex to convince them that we are authentic.”
「我是說...接吻可以，或是前戲。我們不需要真的做愛來讓他們相信我們是真的。」

“We are not, though.” 
「但我們本來就不是啊。」

“Whatever. Come on. Do you want to do it or not?” Beomgyu moved the table with his unfinished food out of the way, scooting forward on his crossed legs to get closer to the other and stare him down. “Come to think of it, we didn’t kiss or even touch each other much last time. But the first time is always the worst. We’re going to do better this time.”
「隨便啦。快點。你到底要不要？」范奎把沒吃完的食物推到一旁，盤腿往前挪動，靠近對方並直視著他。「仔細想想，我們上次連親都沒親，甚至沒什麼肢體接觸。但第一次總是最糟的。這次我們會表現得更好。」

Beomgyu was never good at persuading, but it must have been his trick of cornering into Soobin’s space and whining in a much disgusting way that finally made the resolve crumble from the male’s eyes. He groaned in defeat. 
范奎從來就不擅長說服人，但或許是他那招把秀彬逼到角落、用噁心至極的方式撒嬌的伎倆，終於讓對方眼裡的決心逐漸瓦解。秀彬挫敗地呻吟了一聲。

“Fine! How are we doing this?”
「好啦！我們要怎麼做？」

//

No amount of watching porn or other media could prepare you into answering that question.
無論看過多少 A 片或其他媒體，都無法讓你準備好回答這個問題。

There’s no preparing you for a situation where you have to make out with your best friend in front of a camera either. 
你永遠無法為必須在鏡頭前與摯友親熱的場面做好準備。

Now that he was not so irritated by the comments anymore, Beomgyu started wondering if he had made the worst decision of his life. This was saying a lot because he had made a lot of bad decisions. At least, he reasoned, they had seen each other butt naked for this to be any more awkward than that.
現在他已經沒那麼在意那些評論了，范奎開始懷疑自己是否做了人生中最糟糕的決定。這可是相當嚴重的指控，畢竟他這輩子做過的爛決定可不少。至少他自我安慰道，他們都已經看過彼此赤裸的樣子了，再尷尬也不會比那時候更糟。

There was no going back either, since they had set the camera, and the bed in the middle of the room again. The camera was now pointing at them, its light blinking red. 
現在也無法回頭了，因為他們已經再次架好攝影機，房間中央也擺好了床。鏡頭此刻正對準他們，紅燈不斷閃爍著。

“Nervous, Beomie?” Soobin, that asshole, had the audacity to be smiling when Beomgyu was so close to exploding. 
「緊張嗎，范奎？」那個混蛋秀彬居然還敢笑，而范奎已經快要爆炸了。

His heartbeat was loud in his ears as he scooted closer, eyes momentarily distracted by the red light panning on them, before he finally pulled himself together and focused his whole attention on the male in front of him.
當他挪近時，耳邊的心跳聲震耳欲聾。他的視線一度被掃過兩人的紅色燈光分散，最終他還是強迫自己集中精神，將全部注意力放在眼前的男人身上。

“Let’s get this over with. It’s not like this is our first time kissing or whatever.”
「速戰速決吧。反正這也不是我們第一次接吻之類的。」

Even with that being said, there was nothing similar about this kiss to the ones they had before. No clumsy bump of their noses or teeth clanking when they were too drunk to coordinate their limbs. No purposely blowing alcohol stank breath at each other’s faces.
儘管話是這麼說，但這個吻與他們過往的親吻截然不同。沒有因酒醉肢體不協調而笨拙地撞到鼻子或牙齒打架，也沒有故意朝對方臉上呼出酒臭味。

There was only a gentle touch of lips, almost too chaste and innocent. A pair of awkward teenagers who just had their first kisses. The fact that they were looking into each other’s eyes when doing this didn’t help much, as it made Beomgyu shook with laughter and leaned backwards. 
那只是輕輕的一觸，純潔得幾乎過分。一對剛經歷初吻的笨拙少年。當他們四目相對時，情況並沒有好轉，反而讓范奎笑得渾身發顫，整個人向後仰去。

What he didn’t expect was for Soobin to pull him back in and chase after his lips. It elicited a gasp that he exhaled into the kiss, which melted into a sweet one. Soobin’s fingers circled around his wrists, holding him in place for a moment until he relaxed into it. 
他沒料到的是，秀彬會將他拉回並追尋他的唇。這讓他倒抽一口氣，氣息在親吻中呼出，融化為甜蜜的吻。秀彬的手指環繞著他的手腕，將他固定片刻，直到他放鬆下來。

The awkwardness left as Beomgyu started losing his mind into the kiss. His head was only filled with the taste of Soobin’s lips against his own, the feeling of the plush lips, wet and insistent against his. It was almost like Soobin was hungry for him. Like he wanted Beomgyu for real. It stirred something low in his abdomen. The bubbling heat that started to betray him.
尷尬感隨著范奎逐漸沉醉於這個吻而消散。他的腦海中只充滿了秀彬雙唇的觸感，那柔軟的唇瓣濕潤而執著地貼著他的。幾乎就像秀彬對他飢渴難耐。彷彿他真的想要范奎。這在他腹部深處激起某種躁動。那股翻騰的熱度開始背叛他的理智。

He didn’t even notice when Soobin released his grip, and he was the one holding onto Soobin’s shoulders, even went so far as getting on his knees to get closer to the other male. How embarrassing, when he noticed it the moment he pulled away from the kiss with a soft sigh.
他甚至沒注意到蘇彬何時鬆開了手，反而是自己緊抓著對方的肩膀，甚至跪下來只為了更靠近那個男孩。當他輕嘆著結束這個吻時才意識到這點，真是尷尬極了。

Not like he could go anywhere, as Soobin’s arm circled around his waist and pulled him flush against his own body. Soobin’s heat radiated into his body as he was being held so firmly, almost possessively. 
他哪兒也去不了，因為秀彬的手臂環繞在他的腰際，將他緊緊拉向自己的身體。被如此堅定、幾乎是佔有性地摟著，秀彬的體溫不斷傳遞到他身上。

“Baby,” Soobin said in his low, bedroom voice, almost making Beomgyu’s heart drop into his stomach. Until he realized that the guy had to call him something else as it would be caught by the camera. “How much is too much?”
「寶貝，」秀彬用他那低沉、充滿臥室氛圍的嗓音說道，差點讓范奎的心臟直接掉到胃裡。直到他意識到這傢伙得換個稱呼，不然會被鏡頭拍進去。「多少才算太多？」

The way he asked it was filled with an urgency. His hand tightened around his waist, holding him securely, almost possessively. Beomgyu’s eyes searched around Soobin’s face, gripping onto him tighter as he saw his eyes, the shine even in this dimmed light.
他詢問的方式充滿了急切。他的手緊緊環住對方的腰，牢牢地、幾乎是佔有性地摟著他。范奎的目光在秀彬臉上搜尋著，當他看見即使在這樣昏暗的光線下依然閃爍的眼神時，更加用力地抓緊了他。

If he could get into the character as well, he could pretend that Soobin really wanted to devour him. 
要是他也能融入角色，就能假裝秀彬真的想把他生吞活剝。

“Hey…” Soobin called out again, his fingers slipped under his shirt this time. The touch burned his bare skin.
「喂…」秀彬又喚了一聲，這次他的手指滑進了襯衫底下。那觸感灼燒著他裸露的肌膚。

His answer came as Beomgyu ran his fingers into Soobin’s hair and yanked a handful of them to tilt his head back. He was the one who initiated their next kiss; one that was just as hungry. His head tilted to a side, and then his lips were locked against the other’s in a deep kiss, their tongues meeting inside the warmth of Soobin’s mouth and the taste exploded everywhere and fuck . 
他的回應是範奎將手指插入秀彬髮間，猛然揪住一把頭髮向後扯，迫使對方仰頭。這次是範奎主動索吻——同樣飢渴難耐。他偏過頭，雙唇隨即與對方緊緊相貼，在秀彬溫熱的口腔中，兩條舌頭交纏廝磨，滋味在唇齒間炸開，該死的。

Soobin’s lips looked kiss-swollen when they parted, the way they deserved to be. It was a sin for Soobin’s lips to be there and not to be kissed. 
秀彬的雙唇分開時看起來像是被吻腫了，那正是它們應得的模樣。讓秀彬的雙唇在那裡卻不被親吻，簡直是一種罪過。

As Beomgyu got his focus back into the real time, he also realized that his position had changed into a more comfortable one. During the kiss that blew his mind away, he was positioned to sit on Soobin’s lap, straddling his hips. As he moved slightly, he could even feel his erection pressing against his ass. It stroke his ego, now more confident than even as he ran his tongue along Soobin’s plush lips while grinding his ass down into Soobin’s lap, earning a grunt from the latter.
當范奎將注意力拉回現實時，他發現自己的姿勢已經變成更舒適的狀態。在那個讓他神魂顛倒的吻中，他跨坐在秀彬的大腿上。當他輕輕移動時，甚至能感受到對方勃起的部位抵著自己的臀部。這大大滿足了他的虛榮心，此刻他比任何時候都更有自信，一邊用舌頭描繪著秀彬豐滿的唇瓣，一邊將臀部往秀彬腿上磨蹭，引來後者一聲悶哼。

“Nothing is too much,” he finally answered, breathily, punctuated by a moan that’s punched out of his throat when he felt Soobin’s hand grabbing his ass. 
「沒有什麼是太過分的，」他終於氣喘吁吁地回答，當秀彬的手抓住他臀部時，喉間迸出一聲呻吟。

God, Soobin’s hand. He had seen the way his roommate grabbed things with an innocent intention, only to have his veins flexing on his smooth hands. It didn’t help that Soobin’s hand was just as big as Beomgyu’s whole face.
天啊，秀彬的手。他見過這位室友用純真無害的方式抓握物品，卻讓青筋在那雙光滑的手上浮現。更糟的是，秀彬的手掌大得能蓋住范奎整張臉。

He wouldn’t mind being crushed by Soobin’s hands.
他不會介意被秀彬的手壓垮。

Okay. Beomgyu totally did not have a hand kink.
好吧，范奎絕對沒有手部癖好。

“Are you sure?” Soobin asked, pulling his attention back forcefully towards him, as if his hand that was shamelessly groping Beomgyu’s ass was not distracting enough. “I’m not holding back.”
「你確定嗎？」秀彬問道，強行將他的注意力拉回自己身上，彷彿他那隻毫不羞恥地揉捏范奎臀部的手還不夠分散注意力。「我可不會手下留情。」

“Well, don’t. I don’t want you to.”
「別這樣。我不希望你這麼做。」

//

It was only later that night that Beomgyu started wondering how they went from kissing to that.
直到那天晚上，寶賢才開始納悶他們是怎麼從接吻發展到那一步的。

The curse was especially heavy upon him, since he had to edit the scenes before uploading it. There’s no excuse to how things could escalate that far. He remembered clinging tightly onto Soobin’s frame. His head was spinning and his heartbeats were going on all time high. His brain also came up with three different scenarios of what he was going to do to Soobin if he passed out. 
詛咒在他身上特別沉重，因為他必須在上傳前編輯這些場景。事情怎麼會演變到這種地步，實在沒有藉口。他記得自己緊緊抓住秀彬的身軀。他的頭暈目眩，心跳快得不像話。腦海裡還浮現了三種不同的情景，想著如果秀彬昏過去，他會對他做些什麼。

Now that Beomgyu was the one watching the scene unfold on the screen, he might be exaggerating a little. It would be embarrassing if he actually passed out as Soobin was not even fucking him. 
現在換成是 Beomgyu 在螢幕上看著這一幕，他可能有點誇張了。要是他真的昏過去，那可就尷尬了，畢竟 Soobin 甚至還沒開始上他。

They had shifted their position so that Beomgyu had his back pointed towards the camera. His pants were thrown somewhere in the corner of the room, and he was still clinging onto Soobin’s frame. Other than his soft breathy noises, the camera caught the slick sound of Soobin’s fingers entering him.
他們調整了姿勢，讓范奎的背對著鏡頭。他的褲子被扔在房間角落，而他仍緊抱著秀彬的身體。除了他輕柔的喘息聲外，鏡頭還捕捉到了秀彬手指進入他體內時濕潤的聲響。

Beomgyu could see the way his rim was stretched around the girth of Soobin’s fingers, which started off moving gently, until he started to pick up the pace in fucking into him. The Beomgyu in the screen arched his back in response, moving his hips back to feel more of it. 
范奎能看見自己的邊緣被秀彬的手指撐開，起初那些手指只是溫柔地移動，直到節奏逐漸加快，開始在他體內抽插。螢幕中的范奎隨之弓起背部，向後擺動臀部以求更深入的感受。

The Beomgyu who was watching the screen through the gaps of his fingers that covered his face was absolutely horrified with how needy he was earlier.
此刻透過指縫偷瞄螢幕的范奎，對自己先前那副渴求的模樣感到無比羞恥。

It’s not like he paid attention to them, but Soobin always got pretty fingers. Long and thick in a good way - the good way being a situation where his fingers were fucking him. The way his hand flexed when he moved his wrist also looked good captured on camera. 
他其實沒特別注意這些，但 Soobin 的手指確實生得好看。修長又粗壯，恰到好處——所謂恰到好處，就是當他的手指正在操他的時候。當他轉動手腕時，手部肌肉的線條在鏡頭下也顯得格外迷人。

“S...Soo-” he managed to bite back his name in his mouth right before he could whimper it out. Good one, he didn’t have to edit it out now. “Fucking hell… slow down.”
「S...Soo——」他硬生生將差點脫口而出的名字咬回嘴裡。幹得好，現在不用後製消音了。「該死...慢點...」

“Oh? Usually you’d ask to go faster.” That fucker.
「哦？通常你會要求再快一點的。」那個混蛋。

Usually. As if they had been doing this often and not just as an act. As if this was not the first time he had his fingers inside Beomgyu, stretching him out and reducing him into nothing but a whining mess.
通常如此。彷彿他們已經做過無數次，而不僅僅是演戲。彷彿這不是他第一次將手指探入范奎體內，將他撐開，讓他化為一灘嗚咽的爛泥。

Perhaps that was why Beomgyu closed his eyes. When he didn’t see the camera, he could fool himself into thinking that the camera wasn’t there and they were doing this because they wanted to.
或許這就是為什麼範奎閉上了眼睛。當他看不見鏡頭時，就能欺騙自己，假裝鏡頭並不存在，而他們這麼做只是因為自己想要。

“Shut up. Just…”    「閉嘴。就…」

His words were swallowed in a yelp when Soobin actually slowed down his movement. His fingers were moving at an excruciatingly slow pace now, and it’s even worse this way, because this way, Beomgyu could feel the drag of his fingers when he moved them. He could feel the pads of his fingers brushing against the sensitive spot inside him too, making him squirm away because it’s too much .
當秀彬真的放慢動作時，他的話語瞬間化為一聲驚呼。此刻那修長手指正以折磨人的緩速移動著，這種方式反而更糟——因為這樣鉉辰能清晰感受到每次抽動時指節的刮搔。更過分的是，他還能察覺到對方指腹刻意碾過體內那處敏感點，逼得他扭腰逃躲，這實在太過火了。

But Soobin was holding his waist more firmly, mouth pressing against Beomgyu’s earlobe where he whispered something that wasn’t captured by the camera. 
但秀彬更用力地摟住了他的腰，嘴唇貼上范奎的耳垂，低聲說了句沒被鏡頭捕捉到的話。

(“Aren’t you liking this a little too much, Beomie? You’re squeezing me so tightly.”)
（「范奎，你是不是有點太享受了？把我抱得這麼緊。」）

Beomgyu’s face heated up again when he remembered the certain scene, watching as his own body grew pliant on the screen, his body slumped against the taller male’s, even though his hips readily moved to ride Soobin’s fingers when he stopped moving. Soobin kept talking to him in a hushed whisper that was only reserved for the both of them, and the lewd moans leaving his mouth were proof of that.
范奎想起那個特定場景時，臉又熱了起來。他看著螢幕中自己的身體變得柔軟無力，整個人癱在較高的男性身上，卻在秀彬停止動作時仍主動擺動腰肢迎合他的手指。秀彬持續用只有他們兩人才聽得到的低沉耳語對他說話，而他口中流洩出的淫靡呻吟就是最好的證明。

“What is it? Hmm…” Soobin spoke again, nuzzling into his cheek and being the cocky guy he was. “You want me to go faster now, baby?”
「怎麼了？嗯…」Soobin 又開口了，用臉頰蹭著他，一副自以為是的模樣。「寶貝，現在想讓我快一點嗎？」

God. The pet name. 
天啊。那個暱稱。

Beomgyu groaned and buried his face more into his hands, not able to watch himself crumbling into this submissive state on screen. It had an even stronger effect on him back when it happened, making him mewl while nodding quickly. What a baby. 
Beomgyu 呻吟著，把臉更深地埋進手掌中，無法直視自己在螢幕上逐漸陷入這種順從狀態的模樣。當時的情況對他影響更大，讓他邊快速點頭邊發出嗚咽聲。真是個小寶寶。

Soobin’s deep laugh sounded in the earphones lodged in Beomgyu’s ears now, but he couldn’t hear it anymore the next second as it was engulfed by the sound of his own noises. The slick sound grew louder too, accompanied by the way Soobin moved his hand faster, and harsher. The way his hand hit his ass every time he drove his fingers in. 
秀彬低沉的笑聲透過耳機傳入范奎耳中，但下一秒就被他自己的呻吟聲淹沒。隨著秀彬手指抽插的動作越來越快、越來越粗暴，黏膩的水聲也越發響亮。每當他將手指頂入時，手掌拍打臀部的聲響在房間裡格外清晰。

Beomgyu made the wrong decision to peek at the camera again, just to see Soobin’s hand tensing and flexing as it moved to fuck him. The veins decorating the usually smooth hand only made the whole scene look even hotter, and Beomgyu felt dirty as his eyes locked at the sight.
范奎又忍不住偷瞄了一眼鏡頭，結果正好看到秀彬的手緊繃又放鬆地在他體內抽插。那隻平時光滑的手此刻青筋暴起，讓整個畫面更加火辣，范奎盯著看時覺得自己好下流。

The thing that snapped him out of the daze was the sound of his own loud, orgasmic moan. He ripped his earphones off his ears, deciding to cut the scene a few seconds afterwards and not showing the awkward moment after that as Soobin would laugh afterwards upon seeing cum stain on his black shirt, and how the Beomgyu in the screen would shove his face. All while still having his fingers inside him. Despite him being sensitive and burn up with every touch of Soobin’s hand on his body afterwards.
將他從恍惚中拉回現實的，是自己那聲高潮時發出的響亮呻吟。他猛地扯下耳機，決定在幾秒後切掉畫面，不讓鏡頭拍到之後的尷尬時刻——畢竟事後秀彬看到黑色襯衫上的精液痕跡肯定會大笑，而螢幕裡的范奎還會把臉埋進去。這一切發生時，他的手指仍留在體內。儘管事後秀彬每碰觸他的身體，他都會敏感得渾身發燙。

He also cut the part where he felt Soobin’s hard-on under his ass, and stuffed his hand into his pants to help him with it. Beomgyu had casually wrapped his fingers around the girth and jacked him off until he tipped his head back and groan deeply as he spilled his cum all over Beomgyu’s hand.
他也省略了感受到自己臀下秀彬硬挺的部分，直接把手伸進褲子裡幫他解決。范奎隨意地圈住那粗大的尺寸，上下擼動直到秀彬仰頭發出深沉的呻吟，將精液全數射在范奎手上。

It totally had nothing to do with the fact that the camera caught Beomgyu’s face as he stayed there stunned, watching Soobin’s pleasured face, with his hand on the guy’s spent cock. And it was absolutely not because he had kissed Soobin again right there, earning a tired, curious hum from the owner of the plush lips.
這完全跟攝影機拍到范奎呆愣在原地的表情無關，他看著秀彬愉悅的臉龐，手還放在對方已經發洩過的性器上。也絕對不是因為他又在那裡親了秀彬，惹得那雙豐唇的主人發出一聲疲憊又好奇的輕哼。

He couldn’t take any more second of this humiliation. 
他再也無法忍受這種羞辱了。

Especially since he had to do this on his own while Soobin had already dozed off on his bed on the other side of the room. The lights were off, only left with the laptop’s light illuminating his face in his own dark corner. 
尤其是他得獨自完成這一切，而房間另一頭的 Soobin 早已在床上睡著。燈已熄滅，只剩下筆記型電腦的光線在他黑暗的角落裡照亮他的臉龐。

How nice for Soobin that he didn’t have to sit there and edit the video the way Beomgyu had to do it, while feeling the pain of humiliation on his side. He glared at the lump of blanket in Soobin’s bed, just before he slipped under his own blanket. 
對秀彬來說真是太好了，他不用像範奎那樣必須坐在那裡剪輯影片，同時還要忍受著屈辱的痛苦。範奎鑽進自己的被子前，狠狠瞪了一眼秀彬床上那團鼓起的棉被。

There was nothing on the internet that warned him about getting hard watching your own porn video. The way he was now with a painful tenting in his pajama pants and too much heat under his skin.
網路上沒有任何警告告訴他，看著自己的色情影片會讓人硬起來。他現在就是這樣，睡褲被撐得發疼，皮膚下熱得發燙。

What’s more humiliating than the porn itself was him grabbing his own bottle of lube he stuffed on the tight gap between his bed and the wall. What’s more humiliating was that he had fingered himself that night, with his roommate sleeping just a few steps away from him, while thinking of the said roommate’s fingers. 
比 A 片本身更羞恥的是，他從床與牆壁的狹窄縫隙中掏出了自己藏在那裡的潤滑液。更難堪的是，那晚他趁室友僅幾步之遙熟睡時，一邊幻想著對方的手指，一邊自瀆。

They felt nothing like Soobin’s fingers. He could usually get off by fingering himself, but this was hard, way too hard, and he could only start getting more heated up only as he remembered the scenes from earlier in the day.
這些手指感覺一點都不像秀彬的。他通常可以靠自慰達到高潮，但這次太難了，實在太難了，只有當他回想起今天早些時候的場景時，才能開始更加興奮起來。

The orgasm was not a satisfying one, and his eyes were wide open he flopped down onto his stomach, grunting as his dick was too sensitive when it brushed against his sheet. 
高潮並不令人滿足，他睜大雙眼，整個人趴倒在床上，當他的陰莖摩擦到床單時，過於敏感的觸感讓他忍不住悶哼出聲。

What’s more humiliating was that Soobin had ruined this for him.
更令人難堪的是，是 Soobin 毀了這一切。

//

They didn’t pay the next month’s rent, and instead got a new apartment unit to share. It was only a little more expensive than the last one, but worth every won they spent. Apparently, they got scammed for their last one, and now they could afford an actual living space with separate bedrooms and a tiny kitchen. 
他們沒付下個月的房租，反而合租了一間新公寓。雖然比之前那間貴了一點點，但每一分錢都花得值得。顯然他們之前被坑了，現在總算能負擔得起真正的居住空間——有獨立臥室和小廚房的那種。

Beomgyu tried to explain that the porn videos actually helped, but Soobin stopped acknowledging their existence. He could understand that, though. Ever since they got their own rooms, Soobin started bringing his ‘friend’ over, every other week. It would’ve been believable if only Beomgyu hadn’t heard their activities through the wall when he tried to sleep.
范奎試圖解釋那些色情影片其實有幫助，但秀彬選擇無視它們的存在。不過他能理解。自從他們各自有了房間後，秀彬開始每兩週帶他的「朋友」回來。要不是范奎試圖入睡時總會隔著牆聽到他們的動靜，這說法或許還可信些。

It’s not like he was angry about it. There’s nothing to be pissed off about. He couldn’t be jealous over Soobin’s partners because they were never exclusive to begin with, or even had sex at all.
他並不是為此生氣。這根本沒什麼好發火的。他不可能對 Soobin 的伴侶們吃醋，因為他們從一開始就不是排他的關係，甚至根本沒上過床。

They were just roommates who worked together to make ends meet. There was nothing personal about the kiss, or the fingering, or the handjob. Definitely not the fake fucking.
他們只是為了維持生計而合租的室友。那個吻、那些愛撫、那些手活兒，都不帶任何私人情感。當然更別提那場假裝的性愛了。

Except it bothered him, and Beomgyu didn’t know why until shit went down.
只是這讓他很困擾，而范奎直到事情搞砸了才明白為什麼。

“Are you going out again?” he asked without looking up from the video that’s playing on his phone. He was sitting at the table in their makeshift living room when Soobin came out of his room, dressing up in a way he only did whenever he went out to a party or a club. 
「你又要出門了？」他頭也不抬地問道，視線仍盯著手機上播放的影片。當秀彬從房間走出來時，他正坐在臨時客廳的餐桌旁。秀彬那身打扮，向來只有去派對或夜店時才會這樣穿。

“Hmm.”  「嗯。」

“Going to come back late with someone?”
「要帶人回來晚點嗎？」

A confused hum was the initial answer, as Soobin stopped on his track towards the door to stare at him. “Oh. Right. We never talked about bringing over guests and stuff. Do you mind about it? I mean… I never did it back in our old place for the obvious reason, but now that we got our own bedroom…”
秀彬原本正走向門口，聞言停下腳步，困惑地哼了聲望向他。「喔，對。我們從沒討論過帶客人回來之類的事。你會介意嗎？我是說...以前在舊住處因為明顯原因我從沒這麼做過，但現在我們有自己的房間了...」

“It’s okay, Soobin. You don’t need to explain yourself to me,” he said, finally turning off the video to look at the other. What he said totally didn’t match his tone and his expression, seeing how the other wasn’t convinced either. It’s not his problem, though. So he, with all his passive aggressive air around him, went to his room without sparing another look at his roommate.
「沒關係的，秀彬。你不用向我解釋什麼，」他說著，終於關掉影片看向對方。但這句話與他的語氣和表情完全不符，顯然對方也沒有被說服。不過這不是他的問題。於是他帶著滿身被動攻擊的氣場，頭也不回地走進自己房間，連一眼都沒多看室友。

“Why do you sound so pissed off then?” 
「那你幹嘛聽起來這麼不爽？」

“I don’t? Just leave, please.”
「我沒有？拜託你離開。」

Just as Beomgyu was about to enter his bedroom, Soobin came up behind him and pulled on the handle of the door to slam it back to close. Beomgyu rested his forehead against the wood for a second before he sighed and turned around.
就在范奎準備進入臥室時，秀彬從後方跟上，一把拉住門把用力甩上門。范奎將額頭抵在門板上片刻，嘆了口氣後轉身。

“What?”  「啥？」

“Talk to me, Beomie. We live together, so we should come into a kind of agreement here. Do you actually mind when I brought someone home?”
「跟我談談吧，Beomie。我們住在一起，總該達成某種共識。我帶人回家時，你真的介意嗎？」

“Why the fuck is it my business?” he sighed in exasperation, starting to get pissed off for real now. “Just tone down your noises please. The walls aren’t that thick.”
「關我屁事啊？」他不耐煩地嘆了口氣，這下真的開始火大了。「拜託你小聲點，牆壁沒那麼厚。」

Realization crossed Soobin’s face, followed by a laugh that made it Beomgyu’s turn to look at him in confusion this time. “Oh. That. I thought you were actually upset because I was messing around with other people.”
秀彬臉上閃過一絲領悟，隨即笑了出來，這回換成范奎一臉困惑地望著他。「喔，原來是這樣。我還以為你是因為我跟別人打鬧才真的生氣了。」

“No, what the fuck? Why would I be jealous?” he snapped, almost offended. 
「不，搞什麼鬼？我幹嘛要嫉妒？」他幾乎是惱怒地脫口而出。

“Not sure. Because you didn’t get some?”
「不確定。因為你沒拿到一些嗎？」

Okay, that’s so uncalled for.
好吧，這也太莫名其妙了。

“First of all, I do get some. I just don’t see why you need to know.”
「首先，我確實有拿到一些。我只是不懂你為什麼需要知道。」

“Oh, how come I never heard them before then?” Soobin arched his brow. Now he’s just being annoying on purpose.
「哦，那我之前怎麼都沒聽說過？」秀彬挑起眉毛。現在他根本是故意在找碴。

“Maybe because I have the decency to be quiet when I have a roommate?”
「也許是因為我有室友時會識相地保持安靜？」

“Or maybe you just didn’t pleasure them well enough for them to be loud.”
「還是說你技術太差，根本沒讓他們爽到叫出來？」

“The fuck- yah! Do you wanna brawl right here?” now that he took a full offense, he launched himself forward and grabbed Soobin by the collar of his shirt. It’s even more annoying that the guy laughed instead of getting intimidated. 
「幹——靠！你是想現在就幹架嗎？」這下他徹底被激怒了，直接衝上前揪住秀彬的衣領。更氣人的是，這傢伙非但沒被嚇到，反而笑了出來。

“I don’t think brawling would solve the problem, Beomie,” Soobin said, still with the playfulness twinkling in his eyes even as he grabbed Beomgyu’s hand from his shirt and cornered him backwards. “Shouldn’t you be showing me instead?”
「我覺得打架解決不了問題，範奎，」秀彬說，眼中仍閃爍著調皮的光芒，一邊將範奎抓住他衣領的手拉開，將他逼退到角落。「你應該示範給我看才對吧？」

“Why do I have to prove anything to you? It’s easy to make fake moans, I did that for you .”
「我憑什麼要向你證明什麼？假裝呻吟很簡單啊，我可是為了你才這麼做的。」

Beomgyu gasped when his back hit the door, and Soobin wasn’t stopping, only removing the barrier of their hands from being stuck between them. Their chests are pressed flush, and Beomgyu could feel Soobin’s breath tickling his ear as he spoke. “That’s not what happened last time you had my fingers inside you.”
範奎的背撞上門板時倒抽了一口氣，而秀彬沒有停手，只是將卡在兩人之間的手移開。他們的胸膛緊密相貼，範奎能感覺到秀彬說話時呼出的氣息搔癢著他的耳朵。「上次我手指在你裡面的時候，你可不是這樣的。」

The recollection of their last ‘shooting’ made him want to die right there, but it was hard to focus his willpower on dying when he could feel Soobin’s lips on his ear, distracting him from making any more comebacks. 
回想起他們最後一次「拍攝」的情景，讓他當場就想死，但當他感受到秀彬的唇貼在耳邊時，那股想死的意志力實在難以集中，更別提反駁什麼了。

“W-well… you wouldn’t know if I faked them. You really thought they were real?” he scoffed.
「哼...反正你也分不出來我是不是裝的。你真的以為那些反應都是真的？」他不屑地嗤笑。

That seemed to send a blow to Soobin’s poor, little ego. He pulled back to look at Beomgyu, with disapproval at first, before his gaze turned into a challenging one. Beomgyu had been familiar with the mischief on his eyes. After all, they shared a brain cell, and whenever any of them developed an idea they deemed as ‘good’, it probably would turn bad in the end. 
這句話似乎狠狠打擊了秀彬那可憐的小自尊。他先是帶著不贊同的表情退開審視著泛奎，隨後眼神逐漸轉為挑釁。泛奎對那雙眼睛裡的狡黠再熟悉不過了。畢竟他們共用同一個腦細胞，每當其中一人冒出所謂「好主意」時，最後往往都會演變成災難。

“Should we do it again then? You wanna bet, Beomgyu?” Soobin’s voice turned more stern, and Beomgyu had to bite back a pleased hum as he felt Soobin’s hands slid down his side before gripping onto his waist. That alone already made Beomgyu want to give in, and Soobin was still so close. He had no idea how he was supposed to win whatever bet they were going to do. 
「那要再來一次嗎？敢不敢打賭啊，泛奎？」秀彬的嗓音變得更加低沉，當那雙手順著腰側滑下並掐住他的腰際時，泛奎不得不咬住嘴唇壓抑愉悅的輕哼。光是這樣就讓他幾乎想投降，而秀彬還靠得這麼近。他完全不知道接下來這場賭局自己到底要怎麼贏。

//

One thing about Beomgyu that would also be his downfall was his inability to back down from a challenge. The moment he saw the mocking glint in Soobin’s eyes earlier in the living room, he had accepted the bet right away. They had gone their own ways filming porn videos; he had nothing more to lose.
范奎有個特質，同時也是他的致命傷——他從不輕易退縮。當他在客廳裡看到秀彬眼中那抹挑釁的光芒時，他立刻就接受了這場賭注。反正他們都已經各自拍攝色情影片了，他沒什麼好再失去的了。

But he didn’t really expect to find himself in this kind of position either. 
但他也沒真的預料到自己會陷入這種處境。

The agreement they came up with was to have this filmed, and Soobin would win the bet if he could make Beomgyu ‘loud’ in under ten minutes. This was a really bad idea, and Beomgyu realized it as he laid on his bed naked under his blanket, watching Soobin undressing from the side. 
他們達成的協議是把這一切拍下來，如果秀彬能在十分鐘內讓杋圭「叫出聲」，就算他贏。這真是個糟糕透頂的主意，當杋圭裹著毯子裸身躺在床上，看著秀彬在一旁脫衣服時，他徹底明白了這點。

“Ready?”  「準備好了嗎？」

“You got ten minutes,” he said, starting the timer on his phone before tossing it to the bedside table. 
「你有十分鐘。」他說著啟動手機計時器，隨手將手機扔到床頭櫃上。

Before he could fix his position on the bed again, Soobin was already on him, barely undressed. His hands were instantly all over Beomgyu, and Beomgyu was suffocated by a kiss that Soobin placed on his lips. It was almost like Soobin wanted to devour him whole, and Beomgyu was drunk from the taste of Soobin filling his mouth, his head spinning when he felt Soobin’s tongue rubbing against his own, earning a stifled gasp. 
還沒等他在床上重新調整好姿勢，秀彬就已經壓了上來，衣服幾乎沒脫。他的手立刻在范奎身上四處遊走，而范奎則被秀彬印在唇上的吻給淹沒。那感覺幾乎像是秀彬想將他整個吞下肚，范奎因充斥口腔的秀彬氣息而醉醺醺的，當他感受到秀彬的舌頭與自己的交纏時，腦袋一陣暈眩，忍不住發出一聲壓抑的喘息。

“What was that? You could be louder,” Soobin said as he broke the kiss, suckling Beomgyu’s lower lip between his teeth.
「那是什麼？你可以再大聲一點，」秀彬在結束親吻時說道，同時用牙齒輕咬著范奎的下唇。

“Never.”  「休想。」

“We’ll just have to make you then.”
「那我們只好讓你叫出來了。」

True to his words, his hands were determined to do it. His touches were gentle, but firm enough that Beomgyu could feel their ghosts all over his bare skin, as they left no part untouched. Before long, he was panting, chest heaving while Soobin dragged his mouth down his neck and towards his chest. A strangled moan was bitten back in the last second when the plush lips found his nipple. 
正如他所言，他的雙手堅定地執行著這個任務。他的觸碰溫柔卻又帶著不容抗拒的力道，范奎能感受到那些觸感如同幽靈般遊走在他裸露的肌膚上，沒有一寸被遺漏。不久後，他開始喘息，胸膛劇烈起伏，而秀彬的唇正沿著他的頸項向下滑至胸口。當那柔軟的雙唇找到他的乳尖時，一聲壓抑的呻吟在最後一刻被他硬生生咬住。

“Fuck, that hurts!” he yelped when Soobin bit down, earning him a deep laugh from the other, but he squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the teeth claiming a spot next to the perked nub instead. A teeth mark was left on his skin once Soobin went lower on his body. 
「幹，好痛！」當秀彬咬下去時他痛得叫出聲，換來對方一陣低沉的笑聲。但當他感覺到牙齒轉而啃咬那挺立乳頭旁的肌膚時，他緊閉雙眼。隨著秀彬的唇舌逐漸往下游移，他的皮膚上留下了一排齒痕。

Beomgyu might have lost his mind right there, his lower lip bitten until it was swollen and tender, and his fingers were fisting his bed sheet to the point of almost ripping them. But that was the least he could do without combusting, because Soobin had disappeared under the blanket, and Beomgyu was left in the unknown to what the other was doing down there. 
范奎可能已經瘋了，他的下唇被咬得腫脹發疼，手指緊抓著床單幾乎要把它們撕破。但這已經是他不至於爆炸所能做的極限了，因為玹彬消失在被子底下，范奎完全不知道對方在那裡做些什麼。

All he knew was that he had warmth wrapped around his cock, and lubed fingers inside him, and he had to suffocate himself with a pillow to not scream into the room. Soobin had really outdone himself right now, despite claiming not to be a competitive person. It seemed that Beomgyu had unleashed the beast. 
他只知道此刻有溫暖包覆著他的性器，潤滑過的手指正探入體內，他必須用枕頭悶住自己，才不會在房間裡放聲尖叫。儘管自稱不是好勝的人，但此刻的秀彬確實超越了自己。看來是范奎釋放了這頭野獸。

“Soobin!” he grunted, pressing his foot to Soobin’s shoulder to shove him away. “Choi Soobin!”
「秀彬！」他低吼著，用腳抵住秀彬的肩膀將他推開。「崔秀彬！」

“What, are you really calling my name now?” his head popped out from under the blanket, and Beomgyu almost passed out seeing the guy with his lips wet, precum staining his tongue. He could’ve cum right there, right on Soobin’s face. But he suspected that the guy wouldn’t be so amused about the turn of events. 
「怎樣，現在真的在叫我的名字了？」他的頭從毯子底下探出來，看到對方濕潤的嘴唇和舌頭上沾染的前列腺液時，範奎差點昏過去。他當場就能射出來，直接噴在秀彬臉上。但他懷疑這傢伙對事態發展不會感到太有趣。

He glanced at the camera, red light still staring at him. “I can edit it out anyway, just… I think I might cum for real if you keep doing this, just a heads up.”
他瞥了眼攝影機，紅燈仍直盯著他。「反正我後製可以剪掉，只是...我覺得你再這樣下去我真的會射，先跟你說一聲。」

Soobin looked at him like he had grown a second head. “Isn’t that the point?”
秀彬看著他的眼神，彷彿他頭上突然長出第二顆腦袋似的。「這不就是重點嗎？」

“No? This is fake porn– what the hell,” he tipped his head back and tensed again when Soobin started moving his fingers inside him, the digits insistently brushing against his prostate. It’s unfair, how the guy seemed to know how much he loved having them. 
「不是吧？這根本是假 A 片——搞什麼鬼，」他仰起頭，當秀彬開始在他體內移動手指時又繃緊了身體，指節執拗地擦過他的前列腺。太不公平了，這傢伙似乎完全知道他有多享受這種感覺。

“Too late for that, Beomie.”
「來不及反悔啦，彬尼。」

And with that, Soobin went down to take his cock in his mouth again. The pink plush lips were wrapped tightly around him, forming a slick slide around the base and dragged up to his tip. Soobin kept his eyes on him this time, challenging, and Beomgyu could not even feel humiliated anymore when he finally tore his gaze away, eyes rolling back and back arched as he cum into the warm cavern of Soobin’s mouth. A strangled sound was trapped in his throat, desperate.
就這樣，秀彬再次俯身將他的陰莖含入口中。那粉嫩的柔軟唇瓣緊緊包裹著他，形成一道濕滑的通道從根部滑至頂端。這次秀彬直視著他，眼神充滿挑釁，而范奎甚至無法感到羞恥——當他最終別開視線時，雙眼翻白、背脊弓起，在秀彬溫暖的口腔中達到高潮。一聲壓抑的嗚咽卡在他喉嚨裡，顯得無比絕望。

His body was high strung, a thread pulled tight and ready to snap if Soobin were to stimulate him further. And Beomgyu suspected that he would, since he hadn’t gotten what he wanted yet. 
他的身體緊繃得像根拉緊的弦，只要玟玟再進一步刺激，隨時都會斷裂。而範奎懷疑他確實會這麼做，畢竟他還沒得到想要的東西。

Instead, he felt a pair of arms on him, around him, gently caressing his body that were still sensitive from his orgasm. He blinked slowly, sighing when he felt Soobin’s lips finding his neck first, before he came up to press a kiss to his parted lips. 
相反地，他感受到一雙手臂環繞著他，輕柔地撫摸著他因高潮而仍舊敏感的身體。他緩緩眨了眨眼，當修斌的唇先是找到他的頸項，接著又貼上他微啟的雙唇時，他輕嘆了口氣。

“Was that a win for me?” he asked. Beomgyu could taste his smirk on the kiss.
「這算是我贏了嗎？」他問道。吻中，范奎嚐到了對方那抹得意的笑。

“No, fuck off. That happened because I accidentally bit my lip.”
「不，滾開。那是因為我不小心咬到嘴唇。」

“Accidentally?” came a snort from the latter, before warm tongue swiped its way along Beomgyu’s lower lip that still stung from being bitten so hard he drew blood. “And what made you bite down in the first place, huh? You could’ve just let it go.”
「不小心？」後者嗤之以鼻，溫熱的舌頭隨即舔過范奎的下唇——那處方才被咬得滲血仍隱隱作痛。「那你一開始幹嘛咬下去？明明可以放開的。」

The stinging was persistent now as Soobin kept irritating it with his tongue and warm caress of his own lips. Beomgyu couldn’t stop thinking about how Soobin had his cum in his mouth just moments earlier and now he was kissing Beomgyu. He should be grossed out, but he could feel a new sort of heat bubbling in his abdomen again.
此刻的刺痛感持續不斷，因為秀彬不斷用舌頭和溫熱的雙唇挑弄著。范奎無法停止想著秀彬嘴裡還殘留著自己稍早前的精液，現在卻這樣吻著他。他應該感到噁心才對，但腹間卻又竄起一股新的燥熱。

He whimpered, masking it as a pained one. Soobin pressed an apologetic kiss to his lips. 
他嗚咽著，假裝那是痛苦的呻吟。秀彬帶著歉意輕吻了他的唇。

“It still wasn’t pleasured noises, and I wasn’t even loud anyway, unlike how you claimed you could make me do.”
「這還算不上是愉悅的聲音，而且我也沒那麼大聲，不像你聲稱能讓我發出的那樣。」

The air of gentleness disappeared from Soobin’s face then, replaced by that challenged look again, just like every time Beomgyu would provoke him. It’s sick, that Beomgyu could feel excitement pooling in his guts at the promise trapped in the dark eyes. 
Soobin 臉上那抹溫柔的氣息瞬間消散，取而代之的是那副被挑釁的神情，就像每次 Beomgyu 撩撥他時那樣。真病態啊，Beomgyu 竟能從那雙暗沉眼眸中讀出的承諾，感到一股興奮在腹底翻湧。

“I still have three minutes, that would be more than enough,” Soobin said.
「我還有三分鐘，那綽綽有餘了。」秀彬說道。

Beomgyu would laugh at his face just to spite the guy and his cockiness, but like hell he could do that when he was soon busy swallowing down his noises again. Soobin’s hands were all over him again, now added with the stimulation from his mouth kissing down his neck and leaving possessive bite marks. 
范奎會當面嘲笑那傢伙的傲慢，但當他又忙著吞下自己的呻吟時，根本不可能這麼做。秀彬的手再次在他身上游移，現在還加上用嘴親吻他脖子的刺激，留下佔有慾十足的咬痕。

His legs were being parted, and he could feel tears filling his eyes when his cock rubbed against Soobin’s abdomen when the guy started to roll his hips down, rubbing his dick against his ass. He could feel it slipping between his ass cheeks and against his lubed rim and. Fuck . Beomgyu’s jaw went slack as he felt the head of Soobin’s cock caught on his opening. 
他的雙腿被分開，當索彬開始擺動臀部，將自己的陰莖抵在他臀部摩擦時，他能感覺到自己的陰莖蹭過索彬的腹部，眼淚不禁湧上眼眶。他感受到那東西滑過他的臀縫，蹭過塗滿潤滑劑的穴口。操。範奎的下巴鬆垮下來，因為他感覺到索彬的龜頭正抵在他的入口處。

He snapped his gaze back at Soobin, who looked at him and slowed down, probably noticing the alarmed look on his face. He felt comforting circles drawn on his hips, and Soobin’s low voice by his ear.
他猛地將視線轉回秀彬身上，秀彬看著他並放慢動作，大概是注意到他臉上驚慌的表情。他感覺到有人在腰際畫著安撫的圈圈，秀彬低沉的嗓音在他耳邊響起。

“Can I put it in?” he asked, exhaling a shaky breath as he pushed his hips forward. “I know we’re not supposed to be doing it for real, but you’re here, looking so fuckable, and I can’t… oh god. I really want to fuck you right now, Beomgyu-ya.”
「我可以放進去嗎？」他問道，一邊顫抖地呼氣一邊向前挺腰。「我知道我們不該真的做，但你就這樣出現在我面前，看起來好欠操，我實在...天啊。我現在真的好想上你，范奎啊。」

The desperation in his voice was what closed the deal for Beomgyu, along with the grip on his hip that turned into a bruising one, making his toes curl. It’s the feeling of being wanted that aroused him this much, and Beomgyu was aching with desire. 
秀彬聲音裡的渴望成了壓垮范奎理智的最後一根稻草，再加上那隻掐在他腰際幾乎要留下瘀青的手，讓他腳趾都蜷曲起來。正是這種被渴望的感覺讓他如此興奮，范奎此刻滿懷慾望，渾身發疼。

“Please please, fuck me. Just fuck me, Soobin. Put it in me,” he keened, grabbing at Soobin’s arms. 
「拜託，操我。快點操我，秀彬。插進來，」他哀求著，緊抓住秀彬的手臂。

He thought he’d have it right then, already prepared himself for it, but instead Soobin pulled away, making him blink away the tears from his lashes. His eyes were lidded as he stared at the elder, glancing down to see him quickly rolling on the rubber over his cock, and then he was on top of Beomgyu again. 
他以為那一刻終於要來了，早已做好心理準備，但修斌卻突然抽身，讓他不得不眨掉睫毛上的淚水。他半垂著眼簾凝視著年長者，低頭瞥見對方迅速將橡膠套上自己的性器，接著又再度壓上了范奎。

“One minute left,” Soobin said, a curl of smile on his lips when he pressed a rather sweet kiss to Beomgyu’s cheek. 
「還剩一分鐘。」Soobin 說道，嘴角勾起一抹微笑，同時在 Beomgyu 的臉頰上落下一個相當甜蜜的吻。

The male in question was confounded for a moment, opening his mouth to ask, but what escaped him was a yelp when he felt the stretch. Soobin’s cock was filling him up in a quick slide, stretching him out around the girth, and he only stopped to make sure that it didn’t hurt Beomgyu before he started pounding inside him. And that was the last strike. 
那名男子一時之間困惑不已，張口想問些什麼，卻在感受到那股擴張感時發出一聲驚呼。秀彬的性器迅速滑入，將他撐開，在確認不會弄痛範奎後才開始猛烈抽插。而這成了最後一擊。

Beomgyu was so gone . 
Beomgyu 已經完全淪陷了。

His noises filled the room, lewd and unabashed, every time Soobin filled him up. It didn’t help that he was huge, filling him nicely and pressing against all the sensitive spots inside him and Beomgyu couldn’t think anymore. Couldn’t even move away as Soobin was holding him tightly, pressing him down into the bed. He was being made to take the onslaught of every pounding of his cock inside him, and the grunts and moans Soobin released next to his ear only thrilled him even more.
他的呻吟聲充斥著整個房間，淫蕩而毫不掩飾，每當秀彬填滿他時。更糟的是秀彬的尺寸驚人，完美地填滿他並壓迫著他體內所有敏感點，讓范奎無法思考。他甚至無法逃離，因為秀彬緊緊抓著他，將他壓進床裡。他被迫承受著那根肉棒在他體內每一次的衝擊，而秀彬在他耳邊發出的低吼與呻吟只讓他更加興奮。

He didn’t even care anymore if he was gasping out Soobin’s name, but the male was on him every time he did that, pressing kisses to his neck, or his face, and meeting his eyes to make sure he knew he was taking care of Beomgyu,. 
他已經不在乎自己是否喊出了秀彬的名字，但每當他這麼做時，對方總會立刻貼上來，在他頸間或臉頰落下親吻，並直視他的雙眼，確保他明白秀彬正好好照顧著范奎。

The feeling of being taken care of was mixing in his guts with the feeling of being pleasured to no end. His heart was beating too fast, and Beomgyu was sure that he would pass out anytime soon, but it never came. Just as he was so ready to cum again, Soobin slowed down his pace, almost stopping. 
被照顧的感覺與無盡的愉悅在他體內交織。心跳快得不像話，范奎確信自己隨時會昏過去，但那一刻始終沒來。就在他準備再次高潮之際，守彬放慢了節奏，幾乎停了下來。

“Why did you stop?” he whined, wrapping his legs around Soobin’s waist and moving his own hips to try fucking himself into completion.
「幹嘛停下來？」他不滿地嘟囔著，雙腿環住秀彬的腰際，扭動著自己的臀部試圖自我滿足。

Soobin pressed his hips down, trapping him completely and rendering him immobile. He was so deep, Beomgyu could almost feel him in his guts. His mouth went slack again, and Soobin took the advantage to dip his tongue into his mouth the next time he was being kissed. He felt a drop of saliva trickling down a corner of his lips when the other withdrew, and Soobin’s mouth was on him again, chasing after the drop to mouth at his chin. 
秀彬將臀部壓下，完全困住了他，使他動彈不得。他進入得如此之深，范奎幾乎能感受到他在自己體內深處。范奎的嘴再次鬆開，秀彬趁機在下一次親吻時將舌頭探入他的口中。當對方退開時，他感覺到一滴唾液從嘴角滑落，而秀彬的唇又貼了上來，追逐著那滴唾液，輕吮著他的下巴。

“I won, right? Tell me that I really made you that loud and nothing was faked.”
「我贏了，對吧？告訴我我真的讓你叫得那麼大聲，沒有半點作假。」

“Right now? Really ?” Beomgyu wanted to scream, and he did scream in frustration when Soobin’s cock would purposely drag slowly along his prostate, making him shiver and twitch and god he needed it so much. “Please please please, I need to cum. Don’t do this to me.” 
「現在？真的假的？」范奎簡直想尖叫，而當秀彬的陰莖故意緩慢擦過他的前列腺，讓他顫抖抽搐時，他確實挫敗地喊出了聲——天啊他超需要這個。「求你了求你了，我要射了。別這樣對我。」

“Just say it, Beomie. It’s not that hard,” he coaxed. His sweet voice was in contrast to the evil thing he was doing right now. 
「說出來嘛，Beomie。沒那麼難的，」他輕聲哄道。那甜美的嗓音與他此刻所做的惡劣行徑形成強烈對比。

He moved his hips again, purposely delivering a harsh thrust in an angle that made Beomgyu yelp. A drop of precum drooled out of his cock. And he sobbed when Soobin stopped again.
他再次擺動臀部，刻意以一個讓范奎驚叫的角度狠狠頂入。一滴前液從他的陰莖滴落。當秀彬再次停下時，他嗚咽出聲。

“Goddamn— FINE! Your monster cock drove me crazy and I could scream just thinking about you fucking me so— Jesus— ” his narration was reduced into a long, strained moan as Soobin started moving again. His hips slapping against his ass, and Beomgyu had to tug at his own hair to not lose the little sanity he had. 
「該死的——好吧！你那根怪物般的傢伙讓我發瘋，光是想到你幹我的樣子我就想尖叫——天啊——」他的敘述變成了一聲長而緊繃的呻吟，因為秀彬又開始動了起來。他的臀部拍打著他的屁股，范奎不得不拉扯自己的頭髮，以免失去僅存的一絲理智。

But it was Soobin’s laugh that made his heart beat for a different reason. It was not a mocking one, but a gleeful one, as he kissed his words into his skin. “You’re amazing, Choi Beomgyu.” He even took Beomgyu’s hands from his hair, locking their fingers together. 
但讓他的心因不同原因跳動的，是秀彬的笑聲。那不是嘲弄的笑，而是歡欣的笑，當他將話語吻進他的肌膚。「你太棒了，崔范奎。」他甚至將范奎的手從自己髮間拉下，十指緊扣。

Beomgyu felt tears escaping his eyes at the tenderness, despite the different kind of sensation twisting his guts right now. He kept his eyes locked with Soobin’s own, until his eyelashes fluttered, his mouth parted with a moan as he spurted his cum between their bodies. It was a noise straight out of a porn video, and Beomgyu would’ve been ashamed of it, if only it was not for the pleasure that was still thrumming in his system, beating in time with his heart. 
范奎因那份溫柔而流下了眼淚，儘管此刻有另一種截然不同的感受正絞緊他的內臟。他始終與秀彬四目相對，直到睫毛輕顫，隨著一聲呻吟在兩人身體之間釋放。那聲音簡直像從 A 片裡傳出來的，若非快感仍在體內脈動、與心跳同步，范奎或許會為此感到羞恥。

“Fuck.”  「幹。」

Soobin had cursed, but he didn’t cum. The next thing Beomgyu knew was that the warmth was gone from atop of him, and he could only blink in confusion. Tears escaping his eyes once more. He was left alone on the bed, his legs still spread out and his rim twitching from losing the stretch so abruptly. 
秀彬咒罵了一聲，但他沒有射出來。下一秒，范奎只感覺到身上的溫暖消失了，只能困惑地眨著眼。淚水再次從他眼中滑落。他被獨自留在床上，雙腿仍大張著，後穴因突然失去填塞而不適地抽搐。

//

Beomgyu was laid on the bed in the dimness of his room. The sheet had been changed and his body was cleaned up so tenderly as he pretended to pass out from the exertion. He just simply did not have the face to talk to Soobin after all that, nor did he have the ability to make sense of the whole thing because.
範奎躺在昏暗房間的床上。床單已經換過，他的身體也被溫柔地清理乾淨，而他假裝因過度疲勞而昏厥。在那一切之後，他實在沒臉面對秀彬，也沒有能力理清整件事的來龍去脈。

He just had sex with his roomate, after claiming that they would only shoot fake porn videos. 
他剛跟室友上了床，明明之前還說好只是拍假 A 片而已。

The video that he was watching in the preview cam was definitely not a fake porn video. Hecould see the camera shook a little at one point, that moment Soobin left him on the bed just to grab the camera. He remembered being so disoriented, crying from both the pleasure and the emptiness in his chest. Then, he felt the dip on the bed, the presence of Soobin brought warmth back inside him. Until he saw the camera panning towards him. 
他在預覽畫面中觀看的那段影片絕對不是假的情色影片。他能看見鏡頭在某個瞬間微微晃動，那是秀彬將他留在床上只為去拿攝影機的時刻。他記得自己當時多麼恍惚，因快感與胸口的空虛感而啜泣。接著，他感受到床墊下陷，秀彬的存在為他重新帶來溫暖。直到他看見鏡頭緩緩轉向自己。

He should’ve been mortified, ashamed for being filmed up close in this state. Instead, Beomgyu saw himself eyeing the camera in daze. The screen went down to capture the length of his body, stained by his own cum, bruises and bite marks; and then it went further down to what was happening between his thighs.
他本該感到羞恥難當，為自己被近距離拍攝這種狀態而羞愧。相反地，杋圭看見自己恍惚地凝視著鏡頭。畫面向下移動捕捉他佈滿精液、瘀青與咬痕的身體，接著繼續向下拍攝他雙腿間正在發生的景象。

Mildly, he could also hear the familiar slick sound of hand working on jacking off, and lowered his gaze just to find Soobin pumping his own cock between his thighs; the condom taken off already. The sight had him whimpering, parting his legs a tad more and presenting himself towards the other.
隱約間，他還聽見熟悉的手淫濕黏聲響，低頭便看見秀彬正用大腿夾著自己的陰莖抽動；保險套早已被取下。這景象讓他發出嗚咽聲，將雙腿分得更開些，向對方展示自己。

Soobin cursed under his breath and spilled his cum all over Beomgyu’s thighs. His low, pleasured groans were captured by the camera, and Beomgyu would’ve gotten aroused again if only he was not too tired and confused. 
秀彬低聲咒罵著，將精液全灑在范奎的大腿上。他低沉而愉悅的呻吟被鏡頭捕捉下來，要不是范奎已經累得頭昏腦脹，他可能又會被撩撥起來。

“You’re driving me crazy, you know that? I could eat you out right here…” the camera captured Soobin’s words that he didn’t hear back then, just as it captured the sight of Soobin’s fingers collecting the stain of his cum on Beomgyu’s inner thigh, bringing it to rub it all over Beomgyu’s stretched rim. 
「你知道你快把我逼瘋了嗎？我現在就能在這裡把你吃掉…」攝影機捕捉到當時他沒聽見的秀彬話語，同時也拍下秀彬用手指沾取他大腿內側殘留的精液，將那些液體塗抹在他張開的穴口周圍的畫面。

Beomgyu dropped the camera aside just after it went black, groaning in shame and covering his face with a pillow. Not only did he lose the bet, but now he had to admit that it was the hottest sex he had ever had in his life, and it just had to be with his roommate. Not to mention, the sexual moments between them had been happening for all the wrong reasons.
畫面轉黑後，杋圭立刻把攝影機扔到一旁，羞愧地呻吟著用枕頭蓋住臉。他不僅打賭輸了，現在還得承認這是他這輩子經歷過最火熱的性愛——而且對象偏偏是他的室友。更別說，他們之間會發生這些親密關係，從一開始就全是錯誤的理由。

Staring at his ceiling, he mouthed his question into the air. “Now what?”
他盯著天花板，對著空氣無聲地吐出疑問：「現在怎麼辦？」

//

“Well don’t ask me,” Yeonjun said, crossing his arms across his chest as he sat there all in his gracefulness. Why he would wear such fancy coat when they were just going out for coffee, Beomgyu would never understand him. “What do you want to do with Soobin? Do you just want his dick or his heart too?”
「別問我，」然竣優雅地環抱雙臂坐著。明明只是去喝杯咖啡，他卻穿著這麼華麗的外套，這點範奎永遠無法理解。「你想對秀彬做什麼？只想要他的身體，還是連心也想要？」

Beomgyu yelled, launching himself forward to slap a hand over Yeonjun’s mouth. The elder looked offended, licking at his palm. “Gross! And don’t put it like that. It makes me sound so vain.”
Beomgyu 大喊一聲，猛地撲上前去，一手摀住 Yeonjun 的嘴。年長者露出不悅的表情，還舔了他的手掌。「噁心！別這樣說，聽起來我好像很虛榮似的。」

“I didn’t say that. It’s okay to want someone just for their dicking game,” he shrugged, playing with the sleeve of his coat that were decorated with white fur. 
「我可沒那麼說。單純因為對方的床上功夫而想要一個人，也沒什麼不可以，」他聳聳肩，把玩著袖口鑲有白色毛皮的大衣。

“But it’s not like… that. Even before we started doing this stupid thing I won’t tell you about, I’ve always trusted him the most, but I never considered the thought of having sex with him… until he started bringing people home and. Oh my god, hyung. Did I always think that he was mine, that’s why I didn’t feel like I had to make a move?”
「但這並不是…那樣。甚至在我們開始做那件我不會告訴你的蠢事之前，我就一直最信任他，但我從沒想過要和他上床…直到他開始帶人回家。天啊，哥。難道我一直覺得他是屬於我的，所以才覺得不需要主動出擊嗎？」

Yeonjun only listened while taking sips of his americano. His eyebrow shot up while his lips curled in amusement. The ever-so-knowing smile on his lips just made Beomgyu feel more nervous. It’s like the hyung knew something.
Yeonjun 只是邊啜飲著他的美式咖啡邊聽著。他的眉毛挑起，嘴角因感到有趣而微微上揚。那抹了然於心的笑容讓 Beomgyu 更加緊張。就好像這位哥哥知道些什麼似的。

“So, what do you think you have to do right now?” he asked, resting his chin on top of his hand. 
「所以，你覺得現在該怎麼做？」他用手托著下巴問道。

“I think I should move out of the apartment.”
「我想我應該搬出這間公寓。」

Yeonjun’s smile fell at the statement. “How did you even come into that conclusion?”
聽到這句話，然竣的笑容瞬間消失。「你怎麼會得出這種結論？」

“Being around him messed up with my mind and now I’m even thinking of claiming him against my wish, so I don’t think that would be wise for us,” Beomgyu said, nodding in determination. He smiled at the other then. “Good talk, hyung! Thank you for the advice.”
「待在他身邊讓我的思緒一團亂，現在我甚至想違背自己的意願佔有他，所以我覺得這對我們來說並不理智。」范奎堅定地點頭說道。接著他對對方露出微笑。「聊得很愉快，哥！謝謝你的建議。」

“I didn’t even give you the advice?!”
「我根本沒給你建議好嗎？！」

“You helped, still. Making me realize and all.”
「但你還是幫上忙了。讓我意識到這些事。」

“Oh my god,” Yeonjun sunk back in his seat, running a hand down his face in defeat. “You both are so stupid. Especially Soobin, that stupid motherfuck-”
「天啊，」然竣整個人癱回座位，挫敗地用手抹了把臉。「你們兩個真是蠢斃了。尤其是秀彬，那個白痴王八——」

“What?” Beomgyu tilted his head to a side, catching the other off guard. 
「什麼？」杋圭歪著頭，這舉動讓對方措手不及。

“Nothing. You two are just. Ugh. ”
「沒事。你們兩個真是。唉。」

That earned a laugh from Beomgyu, who finally just waved the matter away. He extended his hand to pick at the fur on the collar of Yeonjun’s coat, eyeing it for suspiciously way too long before he lifted his head to look straight at the elder. “Okay, enough about me. You did get a sugar daddy, didn’t you?”
這句話逗得范奎笑了出來，他終於揮手作罷。他伸手撥弄著然竣外套領口的毛皮，可疑地盯著看了太久，才抬起頭直視這位哥哥。「好了，別再說我了。你確實找了個金主爸爸對吧？」

Yeonjun choked.  Yeonjun 嗆到了。

//

Being an impulsive person Beomgyu was, naturally, he acted upon it quickly. 
衝動如他，范奎自然很快就付諸行動了。

The evening after meeting Yeonjun, he was already sitting on the floor of his bedroom, stuffing his clothes inside his luggage. He might start to get used to moving places after this. He hadn’t even started decorating his bedroom fully yet. 
遇見然竣的當晚，他已經盤腿坐在臥室地板上，把衣物塞進行李箱。或許這次之後，他會開始習慣不斷搬遷的生活。這間臥室甚至還沒來得及完全佈置妥當呢。

What he would not get used to would be the presence of Soobin. Even though they were not sleeping in the same room anymore, he still got comfort from hearing Soobin move around outside his room, attempting to not burn the kitchen as he cooked or cursing after he slammed his toe against a table’s leg. Thinking about it alone already made Beomgyu smile. 
他永遠無法習慣的是有秀彬在身邊的感覺。即使他們不再同睡一房，光是聽見秀彬在房外走動的聲響——試圖煮飯時不燒焦廚房，或是腳趾撞到桌腳後的低聲咒罵——都讓他感到安心。光是想到這些畫面，就足以讓范奎露出微笑。

But he couldn’t stay here any longer. Not when his feelings just kept growing every day, and he couldn’t stand being in the same room with Soobin without throwing himself at the guy. 
但他不能再繼續待下去了。尤其是當他的感情日漸增長，甚至無法和秀彬共處一室而不撲向對方時。

Apparently, he didn’t pack up as quickly as he thought, because he heard the front door being open and shuffling of shoes by the entrance, before Soobin appeared at his door. “Do you want to eat glass noodles? I bought some for you– wait, what’s with the mess?”
顯然他收拾得不如想像中快，因為他聽見大門開啟的聲音和玄關處的腳步聲，接著秀彬就出現在房門口。「你要吃冬粉嗎？我幫你買了些——等等，怎麼這麼亂？」

Beomgyu zipped up his suitcase before standing up, bringing the case up as well. “Just packing up, for my new place.”
范奎拉上行李箱站起身，順手提起箱子。「只是在打包，準備搬去新住處。」

“Are we moving again?” Soobin frowned.
「我們又要搬家了嗎？」秀彬皺起眉頭。

“My new place, Soobin. I’m the one who’s moving out.”
「我的新住處，Soobin。這次換我搬出去了。」

He felt a clench in his chest at the way Soobin’s face dropped from its excited one into a confused, then dejected one. “You don’t want to live with me anymore.”
看著秀彬的表情從興奮轉為困惑，最後變成沮喪，他胸口一陣緊縮。「你不想再跟我一起住了。」

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, but I’m just going to switch room with a friend anyway. He has a crush on you, that’s how he agreed so quickly!” he tried to smile brightly to not let the tense air engulf them. Dejection didn’t suit them. After all, they were known as a pair of idiots who were attached at the hips. 
「抱歉沒早點告訴你，不過反正我只是要跟朋友換房間而已。他暗戀你啦，所以才這麼快就答應了！」他努力擠出燦爛笑容，不讓緊繃的氣氛籠罩兩人。沮喪不適合他們。畢竟，他們可是出了名的連體嬰傻瓜二人組。

The term meant something else for a moment right there, and that was already a taint on their friendship. The whole porn business should have never happened. Now everything was potentially ruined between them, just because Beomgyu couldn’t help but to catch feelings for the other. Although it was impossible not to.
那一刻，這個詞彙的意義突然變了調，已然在他們的友誼上蒙了塵。那整齣荒唐的成人影片鬧劇根本就不該發生。如今兩人之間的一切都可能毀於一旦，只因為范奎無法克制對對方萌生的情愫——雖然這根本是無可避免的事。

Soobin didn’t say anything, and Beomgyu was just dying to escape the awkward moment, so he quickly shouldered his backpack and dragged his suitcase out of his room. 
秀彬什麼也沒說，而范奎只想快點逃離這尷尬的時刻，於是他迅速背起背包，拖著行李箱離開房間。

“I still have a box of my stuff here, but I can come to take them any other day.”
「我還有一些東西放在這裡，但我可以改天再來拿。」

“Did I do something wrong?” he stopped at his track, noticing that Soobin had just been standing in the middle of the living room all along, watching him do the last of his packing. “There’s no way you would leave if I didn’t… but you know how stupid I am when it comes to this kind of thing so, I’m sorry, Beomgyu ya.”
「我做錯什麼了嗎？」他停下腳步，注意到秀彬一直站在客廳中央，看著他收拾最後的行李。「如果不是因為我...你不可能會離開的，但你知道我對這種事有多遲鈍，所以對不起，范奎啊。」

Soobin was not even looking at him when he said that, and it broke Beomgyu’s heart to see the other look so distraught. Even more so that he was the one who’s causing this. 
秀彬說那句話時甚至沒有看他一眼，看到對方如此心煩意亂的樣子讓范奎心都碎了。更讓他難受的是，這一切都是他造成的。

“Soobin, this is not because of you okay, I just…” he exhaled a deep breath, dropping his bags to rush over to his best friend and cup his face in his hands, making him look into his eyes. “Hey, you’re perfect. I just need a space to clear up my mind, and I can’t do it here.”
「秀彬，這不是因為你，好嗎？我只是...」他深深嘆了口氣，丟下包包衝向摯友，雙手捧住對方的臉龐讓他直視自己。「聽著，你很完美。我只是需要一個空間整理思緒，在這裡我做不到。」

“Don’t go,” he said, and Beomgyu would have been offended if he had worded it like a command, like he had a say about Beomgyu’s choice. Except his voice sounded strained when he said it, almost desperate.
「別走。」他說。如果這句話是用命令語氣說出口，彷彿他有權干涉範奎的決定，範奎肯定會感到被冒犯。但此刻他的聲音聽起來緊繃，幾乎帶著懇求。

“Soobin…”  「秀彬...」

“I won’t bring anyone else home anymore, I’ve stopped doing it for weeks actually. I won’t be noisy or annoying either, just… god, can’t you tell me what I did wrong? Tell me if I can fix it?” Soobin held onto his hands, keeping them pressed to his cheeks. For a moment, Beomgyu thought that the latter would cry, but it was him who started feeling the familiar burn at the back of his eyes. 
「我不會再帶任何人回家了，其實我已經好幾個星期沒這麼做了。我也不會吵鬧或惹人煩，只是...天啊，你不能告訴我哪裡做錯了嗎？告訴我能不能補救？」秀彬緊握著他的手，將它們貼在自己臉頰上。有那麼一瞬間，杋圭以為對方會哭出來，結果反而是自己眼眶開始發熱。

This looked weirdly too similar to some breakup scenes that he saw in movies. He always hated those. Ironically, he had to experience it before he could even date the person. 
這詭異地像極了電影裡那些分手場景。他從來都討厭那些橋段。諷刺的是，他居然在還沒正式交往前就得經歷這種場面。

He couldn’t lose Soobin without even having him, so if he was going to break everything like he always did, maybe he could risk it now. Soobin had seen him naked. He knew all the little secrets Beomgyu had never told anyone else. 
他不能連擁有都來不及就失去秀彬，所以如果註定要像往常一樣搞砸一切，或許現在值得冒險一試。秀彬看過他的裸體，知道他從未告訴任何人的小秘密。

This was still a little scary, but it’s about time Beomgyu laid his feelings bare for Soobin. 
雖然還是有點害怕，但該是杋圭向秀彬坦露心意的時候了。

“The only mistake you ever did was making me feel all these things I wasn’t supposed to feel,” he started, watching as Soobin’s frown relaxed, replaced by a confused look. “You’re already the only person I trust in this world, and then you went on your way to make me see you in a different way with that fake fucking and kisses and all those sweet words for camera. I want them to be real so badly that I became greedy, got upset over you bringing home some ‘friend’ and wanting you all to myself and… and…” 
「你唯一犯的錯，就是讓我感受到這些本不該有的情緒，」他開口說道，看著秀彬的眉頭逐漸舒展，取而代之的是困惑的神情。「你早就是這世上我唯一信任的人了，卻還要用那些該死的假裝親熱、親吻，還有鏡頭前那些甜言蜜語，讓我用不同的眼光看你。我太渴望這一切都是真的，貪婪到因為你帶『朋友』回家而惱火，想把你佔為己有，甚至...甚至...」

He was out of breath by then, after pouring everything he wanted to say but the most important thing itself. The words were lodged inside his chest, sticking to the lining of his throat, and disappearing like a cotton in water when they met his tongue. Why was it so hard to say it when it’s the only thing filling his head right now? 
那時他已氣喘吁吁，傾訴了所有想說的話，唯獨最重要的那句始終哽在胸口。字句黏附在喉嚨內壁，一碰到舌尖便如棉絮入水般消散。明明此刻腦海裡只盤旋著這句話，為何說出口竟如此困難？

The litany of I like you, I like you so much, I want you all to myself. I like you, Choi Soobin . 
無數次排練的我喜歡你、好喜歡你、想獨佔你。我喜歡你，崔杋圭。

“I like you,” Soobin was the one who blurted it out, looking dazed after listening to what Beomgyu had to say. 
「我喜歡你。」反而是聽完范奎傾訴的玟準脫口而出，神情恍惚。

Silence dragged between them, too silent that they would even hear a pin drop. And then it was broken when Beomgyu yelled, stepping backwards like he was burned. “NO!” and made Soobin jump on his feet. “I was the one who’s supposed to say it!”
沉默在兩人之間蔓延，靜得連針落地都能聽見。直到范奎突然大喊「不行！」後退的步伐像被燙傷般，嚇得玟準從座位上彈起來。「這句話應該由我來說才對！」

“Why does that matter? I like you! I’ve liked you before this whole fake porn thing ever happened! Actually, it might even be my excuse to kiss you and I’m stupid for that but– wait, what did you just say?”
「這有什麼關係？我喜歡你！在這些假 A 片的事情發生之前我就喜歡你了！說實話，這可能只是我想親你的藉口，我這樣很蠢，但是——等等，你剛剛說什麼？」

“You don’t get to steal my line, Choi Soobin!” Beomgyu yelled, angry tears escaping his eyes, or maybe they were relieved one. “I wanted to say it first so you won’t think that I’m just using you for sex and money. Now you’re going to think that way about me…” he sniffled.
「崔秀彬，你沒資格搶我的台詞！」范奎大吼，憤怒的淚水從他眼中滑落，又或許那是釋懷的淚水。「我本來想先說出口，這樣你才不會以為我只是貪圖你的肉體和金錢。現在你肯定會那樣想我了⋯⋯」他抽泣著。

“But I thought you were going to think that way about me if I confessed!” Soobin exclaimed, eyes wide now. “Yeonjun hyung said that too, god. He’s right.”
「但我以為如果我告白，你也會那樣想我！」秀彬瞪大了眼睛喊道。「連玹準哥也這麼說，天啊。他說得對。」

“You’re so stupid, god! Why do I like you?”
「你真是蠢斃了，天啊！我怎麼會喜歡你？」

“Yeah, why?” Soobin challenged. “Is it the dick game?”
「是啊，為什麼？」秀彬挑釁地問。「是因為床上功夫好嗎？」

“No, because you’re so stupid. That’s why. Who the fuck would suggest doing a fake porn?” he grumbled. 
「才不是，因為你蠢得要命。這就是原因。哪個白痴會提議拍假 A 片啊？」他抱怨道。

“Who the fuck would agree to it then?”
「那又是哪個白痴會同意這種事？」

Beomgyu rolled his eyes, but he reached his arms around towards the taller male, who willingly came closer into his embrace. But instead, he cupped Beomgyu’s cheeks this time, tilting his head up before swooping a kiss from his lips. 
范奎翻了個白眼，但還是伸手環抱住高個子的男孩，對方也順從地靠進他的懷抱。不過這次，他反而捧起范奎的臉頰，輕輕抬起他的下巴，然後俯身吻上他的唇。

“I guess that’s why I can only like you this much, we’re both stupid,” he said, smiling softly as he caressed Beomgyu’s cheek with his thumbs. “Can you stay with me? Don’t leave your idiot.”
「大概就是因為這樣，我才只能這麼喜歡你吧，我們兩個都傻。」他輕聲說著，拇指溫柔地摩挲范奎的臉頰，嘴角掛著淺笑。「可以留在我身邊嗎？別丟下你這個笨蛋。」

His breath caught at the gentle affection poured to him, but he could only nod, pouting as he tugged onto the front of Soobin’s shirt. “No more bringing people home. Bleach your sheets.”
這份溫柔的愛意讓他呼吸一滯，只能點點頭，噘著嘴揪住秀彬的衣襬。「不准再帶人回家了。床單都給我用漂白水洗乾淨。」

“Okay. No more fake porns and tips either, only us,” he said, dropping his arms to wrap Beomgyu up in his arms. The warmth of his embrace made all of Beomgyu’s worries melt away. Except maybe he had to find a way to explain to his friend about the cancellation of the room switch.
「好。不再有假 A 片和技巧了，只有我們。」他說著，放下手臂將范奎擁入懷中。那溫暖的擁抱讓范奎所有的憂慮都融化了。只是，他或許得想個辦法向朋友解釋取消換房的事。

Nonetheless, everything fell into place in the way it was supposed to, and Beomgyu couldn’t be more content than this. 
然而，一切終究如預期般步上正軌，而范奎對此再滿意不過。

Maybe there’s still one problem, though.
不過，或許還有一個問題。

“Can we still record the tapes? I actually enjoyed them a lot.”
「我們還能繼續錄那些錄音帶嗎？其實我超喜歡的。」

Soobin groaned in dismay, but only hugged Beomgyu tighter in his arms. Well, at least that’s not a no.
秀彬沮喪地呻吟了一聲，卻把抱在懷裡的杋圭摟得更緊。好吧，至少這不算拒絕。

//

(“You’re an idiot.”  「你是個白痴。」

Soobin sank into his own seat, his hands came up to cover his face as he groaned into them. Yeonjun was sitting across from him, watching him with the same judging look he had had ever since Soobin finished his story.
秀彬癱坐在自己的座位上，雙手掩面發出痛苦的呻吟。然竣就坐在對面，從秀彬說完那個故事後，就用同樣批判的眼神盯著他看。

The cursed story of how he somehow proposed an idea to make a fake porn with his roommate-slash-crush and ended up having sex for real with the roommate-said-crush. 
這個該死的故事講述他如何突發奇想，提議和既是室友又是暗戀對象的人拍假 A 片，結果卻假戲真做和對方上了床。

If he asked himself from a few weeks ago if things could escalate to this point, he would’ve laughed at the idea. But here he was, wondering how the fuck things fell into the right place in the wrongest way.
要是幾週前的自己問事情怎麼會演變到這種地步，他肯定會嘲笑這個想法。但現在他卻在這裡，納悶事情怎麼他媽的以最錯誤的方式走向了正確的結局。

“Let me get this straight. You asked Beomgyu to film a porn video with you so you two could pay the rent.” 
「讓我搞清楚。你為了付房租，邀玟奎一起拍 A 片？」

“ Fake porn, but yes.”
「假 A 片，但沒錯。」

“And then people started doubting the authenticity so you decided to do it for real?”
「然後大家開始懷疑真實性，所以你就決定來真的？」

“That’s right.”  「正是如此。」

“All while keeping him in the dark about how you’re feeling?”
「就這麼一直瞞著他，不讓他知道你的感受？」

This one hurt a little, but eventually Soobin nodded. “Yeah… I didn’t get the chance to confess.”
這句話有點刺痛，但最終秀彬還是點了點頭。「嗯……我沒機會告白。」

“Yeah, you’re an idiot,” Yeonjun heaved a sigh, looking at Soobin as if he had committed the biggest mistake ever. “How are you going to tell him without making him think that you’re just in for the sex and money?” 
「對，你就是個白癡。」然竣嘆了口氣，看著秀彬的眼神彷彿他犯了天大的錯誤。「你要怎麼告訴他，才不會讓他覺得你只是為了性跟錢？」

“Do I look like someone who would do that?”
「我看起來像是會做那種事的人嗎？」

Yeonjun stared at him. “I mean, you suggested that horrendous idea. Like. Who the fuck would even suggest that?”
然竣盯著他。「我是說，那個爛主意可是你提的。拜託，誰他媽會想出這種餿主意啊？」

“You.”  「你。」

“Darling, I would suggest having sex to forget the anxiety about the rent, but not to pay it,” the elder laughed, reaching out to tickle Soobin by his chin. 
「親愛的，我可能會提議用做愛來忘記房租的焦慮，但絕不會用這招來抵房租啦。」年長者笑著伸手搔了搔秀彬的下巴。

“Shut up.” The taller male turned his head away, sulking some more as he sank further into his seat. 
「閉嘴啦。」高個子的男生把頭轉開，更加賭氣地往座位裡縮了縮。

“Better to confess soon, Soobin-ah.”
「早點坦白比較好，秀彬啊。」

“I know, I would do it…” he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “It’s just harder when we’ve gone this far already.”
「我知道，我會這麼做的…」他呻吟著，把臉埋進雙手裡。「只是我們都走到這一步了，真的很難。」

“Honestly, it would’ve been okay if you’ve stopped after the first video. What made you keep going?”
「說真的，你拍完第一支影片後就收手也沒關係。是什麼讓你繼續拍下去？」

Soobin smiled unconsciously. “He just sounded so cute when he moaned for–”
秀彬不自覺地笑了。「他呻吟的時候聽起來真的好可愛——」

“STOP. I didn’t need to hear that– Nope, good bye.”
「停。我根本不想聽——不，再見。」

“Hyung! You’re supposed to tell me what I have to do!”)
「哥！你應該告訴我該怎麼做才對！」

//