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Regulation #14: Any human who is twenty years of age or above and wishes to be turned must complete a lengthy application process as well as a full physical health and psychological competence evaluation. Upon completion of this process, a human may not be turned until they reach the top of the national waitlist in their country. If an applicant is deemed to be vital in their position within human society, or if they have any criminal activity noted on their record, their application to the waitlist may be declined without appeal. 
第十四条规定：任何年满二十周岁及以上、希望被转化的人类，都必须完成冗长的申请流程，以及完整的身心健康和心理能力评估。完成这些流程后，只有当申请者在其所在国家的全国等待名单上名列前茅时，才允许被转化。如果申请人在人类社会中担任重要职位，或者有任何犯罪记录，其进入等待名单的申请可能会被拒绝，且不接受任何申诉。

~

Over the next few days, Seonghwa spent most of his time alone, although not necessarily by his own choice. As Hongjoong had mentioned, his sleep schedule was opposite that of the vampires whom he now lived with, and they were only awake at the same time for a handful of hours around dawn and dusk. Hongjoong was still the vampire he spent the most time with due to their arrangement, but he always enjoyed the moments he spent with the others, although fleeting.
接下来的几天，星化大部分时间都是独自一人度过的，虽然这不完全是他自己的选择。正如弘中提到的，他的作息时间和与他同住的吸血鬼们正好相反，他们只有在黎明和黄昏前后才有几个小时是同时醒着的。弘中仍然是和他相处时间最多的吸血鬼，因为他们之间的“安排”，但他总是很享受和其他人相处的时光，哪怕那些时光是如此短暂。

Seonghwa found that the time he spent alone was pleasant, however, for it was quite different from how he used to live. Now that he had a room inside of a house, he didn’t need to spend the day wandering the city, desperate for something to fulfill him as every day continued on the same as the last. His life had more of a structure now, and he had food and shelter at his disposal, which was brand new to him. Without spending all of his time worrying about his next meal and if he would make his rent payments on time, he had time to spend on other things instead.
星火发现，他独处的时间是如此惬意，这和他过去的生活截然不同。现在他在房子里有了一间属于自己的房间，不必再像过去那样，每天在城市里漫无目的地游荡，渴望着有什么能填补内心的空虚，日复一日，毫无新意。现在他的生活更有条理了，食物和住所唾手可得，这对他来说可是全新的体验。不必再为下一顿饭着落和能否按时支付房租而焦头烂额，他终于可以把时间花在其他事情上了。

On his second day at the coven house, Jongho had shown him how to place an order to have items arrive at their door. He could order anything he wanted, ranging from clothes to food to home goods to anything else under the sun. In a separate room of the house that was termed ‘the study’, all he had to do was sit in front of the computer and add the things he wanted to his cart before making the purchase, and the order would arrive within a day or two. It felt like magic, and as soon as his first check came through into his bank account, he decided to buy a few things.
在女巫集会所的第二天，钟浩就教了他如何在网上订购东西，直接送到家门口。他想买什么都行，从衣服、食物到家居用品，应有尽有。在房子里一间被称为“书房”的房间里，他只需要坐在电脑前，把想买的东西添加到购物车，然后付款，订单就能在一两天内送到。这感觉就像魔法一样，所以当他的第一笔工资到账后，他立刻决定买一些东西犒劳自己。

He didn’t tell Hongjoong, because he was sure that the vampire would insist on paying for all of it, and he didn’t need a lot of things anyway. All he purchased were a few clothing pieces that appealed to his brand new sense of personal style, along with some supplies for a few hobbies that he had always been interested in. A notebook for drawing, a set of colored pencils, and a beginner’s kit to learn how to crochet a simple pink bunny. He had never owned a stuffed animal, but he had always wanted one, so the idea of making one himself was perfect.
他没告诉洪仲，因为他肯定那只吸血鬼会坚持为所有东西买单，而且他其实也不需要很多东西。他买的只是一些符合他全新个人风格的衣服，还有一些他一直很感兴趣的爱好的用品。一本绘画用的笔记本，一套彩色铅笔，以及一个初学者套件，用来学习钩织一只简单的粉色兔子。他从来没有拥有过毛绒玩具，但他一直都想要一个，所以自己做一个的想法简直太完美了。

Once everything arrived at the doorstep, he spent his hours of alone time during the day attending to his new hobbies, discovering a creative side of himself that he had never had the privilege to pursue before. Even when he failed at crocheting a few times and had to start over, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face, overjoyed that his greatest frustration at the moment centered around a length of fluffy pink yarn. In a matter of days, his entire life had changed, and he was actually happy.
东西一到家，他就把白天独处的时间全用来捣鼓这些新玩意儿，挖掘出自己从未有机会开发的创造力。就算钩针活儿搞砸了好几次，不得不从头再来，他也乐得合不拢嘴，因为他现在最大的烦恼，竟然只是那一团毛茸茸的粉色纱线。短短几天，他的生活彻底变了样，而且，他竟然真的感到快乐。

Aside from the items he had purchased for himself, his other favorite thing about his new life in the coven house was the refrigerator and all of the food stocked within it. Seonghwa had never cooked before, but he started to learn, printing out recipes from the computer in the study before bringing them into the kitchen and making his best attempt at replicating the directions. He wasn’t always successful, but everything tasted delicious to him anyway, even if it had been partially charred in the oven or seasoned incorrectly.
除了给自己买的东西，圣华在新居中最喜欢的就是冰箱和里面塞满的食物。他以前从没下过厨，现在开始学着做饭，先从书房的电脑上打印出菜谱，然后带到厨房，尽最大努力地照着步骤做。虽然不总是成功，但对他来说，一切都美味极了，哪怕是在烤箱里烤焦了一点，或者调味不对，他都觉得好吃。

In truth, Seonghwa had always had a hard time actually tasting flavors, which was part of why he had been able to survive off of such measly scraps for so long. Everything tasted kind of bland to him, and now that he was learning how to make his own food, he seasoned everything so heavily that the aromas filled the entire house, lingering even for hours afterwards.
说实话，星和一直以来对味觉都不太敏感，这也是为什么他能靠那么点儿残羹冷炙活这么久的原因。对他来说，所有东西吃起来都寡淡无味。现在他开始学着自己做饭，恨不得把所有调味料都不要钱似的往里加，那香味儿，简直能飘满整个屋子，好几个小时都散不去。

After receiving a new order of groceries courtesy of Hongjoong about a week after the first, Seonghwa set out to make himself steak. He had been experimenting with the way he liked his meat cooked, and now he was quite proud of himself for the outcome. All of his printed recipes were held together by a binder clip that Yunho had given him, and he referred back to the written instructions when he needed to, until he was finished. His stomach rumbled as he arranged his finished plate, and he quickly washed the last of his dishes before taking his plate and heading for the front door.
大约一周后，在洪中又一次慷慨地送来一堆食材后，星化决定给自己煎块牛排。他一直在尝试不同的烹饪方法，现在对自己的成果相当满意。他所有的打印食谱都用允浩给他的一个夹子夹在一起，他时不时地翻看那些手写的步骤，直到完成。当他摆好盘子时，肚子开始咕咕叫起来。他迅速地洗完最后几个盘子，端起盘子，走向前门。

He liked living out in the forest, because the city itself had always held such misery, the setting of the worst times of his life. But here in the forest, he felt as if he could start anew, and he ate most of his meals outside on the porch in one of the few chairs arranged around a small table. The air held a slight chill, but his sweater kept him warm as he began to eat, humming to himself in satisfaction.
他喜欢住在森林里，因为城市里总是充斥着痛苦，是他人生中最糟糕时光的背景。但在这片森林里，他感觉自己可以重新开始。他喜欢在门廊上，围着一张小桌子摆放的几把椅子上吃饭。空气中带着一丝凉意，但他穿着毛衣，感觉很暖和，开始一边吃饭，一边满足地哼着小曲儿。

Birds twittered in the nearby trees, and he caught the occasional glimpse of small creatures darting through the foliage, squirrels and rabbits and even the occasional red fox. At this time of evening, diurnal and nocturnal creatures coexisted for a short time, and he even caught a glimpse of a bat flying over the coven house, landing briefly on one of the second floor window sills. The world was so peaceful when humans weren’t around to disturb anything, and Seonghwa wished that forests weren’t so limited. He preferred this over the city any day. 
鸟儿在附近的树上叽叽喳喳地叫着，时不时能瞥见小松鼠、兔子，甚至偶尔还有赤狐在树叶间穿梭。傍晚时分，昼行动物和夜行动物短暂地共存着。他甚至还看到一只蝙蝠飞过女巫集会所，还在二楼的窗台上短暂地停留了一下。当人类不在的时候，世界是如此的宁静祥和，盛华真希望森林能够无边无际。比起城市，他更喜欢这里。

He smiled to himself as he remembered when Hongjoong had told him that squirrels were his favorite animal, watching those bushy tails as they scurried up the trees around the coven house, chasing each other and picking up acorns from the ground. He wondered what it would be like to be an animal like that, to not have to worry about human and vampire regulations, and politics, and all of the aspects of humanity that had wronged Seonghwa since his birth.
他独自一人笑了笑，回忆起洪中告诉他，松鼠是他最喜欢的动物时的情景。看着那些毛茸茸的尾巴，它们在女巫集会所周围的树上窜上窜下，互相追逐，从地上捡起橡子。他忍不住想，如果能变成那样的动物会是什么感觉？不用担心人类和吸血鬼的规矩、政治，以及所有那些从他出生起就一直伤害他的，属于人性的东西。

Pressing a hand to his neck, he pursed his lips, staring down at his now empty plate. He was beyond grateful that he now had a place to stay, but he couldn’t help but think sometimes about how different he might be if his life had gone down a different path. If his parents had been in the picture, raising him the way that a child was meant to be raised. If he hadn’t been bait for vampires as a baby, until he was found abandoned and nearly dead in an alley within the city and brought to the orphanage where he had spent most of his life. 
他抬手按了按脖颈，抿着嘴，盯着眼前空空如也的餐盘。他当然无比感激现在能有个落脚的地方，但偶尔还是会忍不住想，如果当初人生走的是另一条路，他会变成什么样呢？如果他的父母没有缺席，像所有父母那样，好好地把他养大成人，又会怎样？如果他没有在襁褓中就成为吸血鬼的饵食，直到被人发现，奄奄一息地躺在城市的某个小巷里，然后被送到孤儿院，在那里度过了他生命中最长的时光，又会怎样？

He had mostly made peace with those parts of his past, considering that he had been far too young to remember the trauma that he had suffered in the first two years of his life, but it would still haunt him for as long as he could still draw breath. The vampires around him now were all gentle and kind, but the scars on his neck stood as clear evidence that not all vampires were like this. It would do him well to be cautious, because especially out here in the forest, anything could happen.
虽然他基本上已经和过去的那些事达成了和解，毕竟他还太小，根本记不清最初两年受过的创伤，但那些阴影还是会像鬼魅一样缠着他，直到他咽下最后一口气。现在的这些吸血鬼都温柔又善良，但他脖子上的伤疤却清清楚楚地证明，并非所有的吸血鬼都是如此。小心驶得万年船，尤其是在这片森林里，什么事都可能发生。

A shiver crawled down his spine with the eight spindly legs of a spider, and he turned his head to the glimpses of the sky that he could make out through the trees, now colored with the vibrant hues of a sunset. The sunset was more beautiful out here than it had been in the city, and Seonghwa was captivated by the image as the colors shifted and darkened, the first hints of stars peaking through the leaves as well before the sun sank fully beneath the horizon.
八条小细腿像蜘蛛一样，一阵寒意爬上了他的脊梁。他转过头，透过树木间的缝隙，瞥见被染上绚丽晚霞的天空。这里的日落比城市里更美，圣华完全被这景象迷住了，色彩变幻，逐渐暗淡，太阳完全落入地平线之前，第一批星星的微光也透过树叶显现出来。

When the sunset disappeared, the night sky blanketed the earth in all of its glory, and Seonghwa wrapped his arms around himself as he stared up at the stars, although the trees obstructed most of his view. He didn’t know any constellations or anything like that, but he had still always liked to look at the night sky, for the appearance of the moon served as proof that he had survived another day. It reminded him that he was as deserving of being alive as anyone else, even if he had often been made to think otherwise.
当最后一抹夕阳消失，夜幕带着它所有的辉煌笼罩大地，星河璀璨。星化（Seonghwa）抱紧双臂，仰望星空，尽管树木遮挡了他的大部分视线。他对星座一窍不通，但他一直喜欢看夜空，因为月亮的存在证明他又活过了一天。它提醒着他，他和任何人都一样，有活下去的资格，即使他经常被别人弄得觉得自己不配。

Once darkness settled over the forest, the front door of the coven house opened, distracting Seonghwa from the owl he had been observing as it flew low through the trees. He turned his head to find Hongjoong standing there, his form shadowed in the night, a long cloak blanketing his shoulders and brushing the porch floor as he approached.
当黑暗完全笼罩森林时，女巫集会所的门打开了，星化（Seonghwa）正观察着一只低空掠过树林的猫头鹰，被这动静吸引了注意力。他转过头，看到弘中（Hongjoong）站在那里，身影隐没在夜色中，一件长长的斗篷披在他的肩上，随着他的走近，斗篷的下摆扫过门廊的地板。

“Hi,” Seonghwa greeted, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around his folded legs as Hongjoong sat down in the chair opposite him. “Did you sleep well?”
“嗨，” 星化打着招呼，把膝盖拉到胸前，双臂环抱着蜷起来的双腿。弘中在他对面椅子上坐下，他才又问了句：“睡得好吗？”

Hongjoong nodded, shadows pooling beneath his cheekbones and within the sockets of his eyes. In this light, he looked more like a vampire than a man, and Seonghwa could almost believe that he was dangerous. At least, until he smiled softly, an expression which shattered the image completely. His fangs poked out from behind his lips, luminous in the moonlight. “Yes,” he answered. “Thank you for asking.”
洪仲基点点头，阴影在他颧骨下方和眼窝里汇聚。在这光线下，他看起来更像个吸血鬼，而不像个人，星化几乎要相信他是危险的。至少，在他温柔地微笑之前，这个表情彻底打破了那种错觉。他的犬牙从嘴唇后探出，在月光下闪闪发光。“是的，”他回答道。“谢谢你问我。”

A gust of wind blew past the house, and Seonghwa shivered slightly. Although he had been warm enough before in only his sweater, the disappearance of the sun had lowered the temperature further.
一阵风吹过房子，星化微微颤抖了一下。虽然之前只穿着毛衣已经足够暖和，但太阳的消失让温度进一步下降。

Without a word, Hongjoong removed his cloak and stood from his seat, crossing around to the other side of the porch table to drop it down over Seonghwa’s shoulders. “Oh, um, you don’t have to-” Seonghwa started to protest, but he clamped his mouth shut when Hongjoong leaned forward to speak, his breath ghosting past Seonghwa’s ear.
洪仲基一言不发，解开自己的斗篷站起身，绕过门廊边的桌子，将斗篷披在了星化的肩上。“哦，不用，你不用……” 星化刚想推辞，但洪仲基俯身靠近，气息拂过他的耳畔，让他立刻闭上了嘴。

“I do not need it,” he said, no louder than a murmur. “The cold has no effect on me. I only wore it for you.”
“我不需要它，” 洪仲基的声音低得几乎听不见，宛如低语。“寒冷对我无效。我穿它，只是为了你。”

He returned to his seat, and Seonghwa pulled the cloak around himself, grateful to the night for covering his blush. Of course Hongjoong didn’t need the cloak - he couldn’t feel the cold. I only wore it for you. Such a simple sentence, but Seonghwa’s heart skipped a beat, his head spinning as he breathed in Hongjoong’s scent that still clung to the fabric. “You smell like the rain,” he said as Hongjoong settled back down.
洪仲基回到座位上，星化紧紧裹住斗篷，感谢夜色掩盖了他的脸红。当然，洪仲基不需要斗篷——他感觉不到寒冷。“我穿它，只是为了你。” 多么简单的一句话，却让星化心跳漏了一拍，头晕目眩，贪婪地呼吸着斗篷上残留的洪仲基的气息。“你闻起来像雨后的味道，” 他说道，此时洪仲基已经重新坐好。

Cocking his head in interest, Hongjoong held Seonghwa’s gaze. “Is that so?” he asked, and Seonghwa nodded.
洪仲基饶有兴致地歪了歪头，眼神紧紧锁住星化。“哦？是吗？” 他问道，星化点了点头。

“It’s one of my favorite smells,” he admitted, and Hongjoong lit up at that. “It’s subtle, but calming, too. I like it.”
“我超喜欢你身上的味道，”他坦诚地说，洪中听到这话，眼睛都亮了。“淡淡的，但又很让人安心。我很喜欢。”

“As long as you like it, that is what matters the most to me,” Hongjoong answered seriously, crossing one of his legs over the other as he leaned back in his chair. Now that his cloak was gone, Seonghwa could see his shirt in full, a white silk garment with buttons spaced down the front. He always dressed like this, old fashioned in a way that was still acceptable, and again Seonghwa found himself fascinated by the line that Hongjoong walked between the past and present. Vampires did not age, he was well aware of that fact, but this was the first time he had ever truly understood what it meant for someone to be timeless.
“只要你喜欢，对我来说就足够了，” 弘中认真地回答道，一条腿优雅地搭在另一条腿上，向后靠在椅子里。现在他的斗篷已经不在了，星化可以完整地看到他的衬衫，一件白色的丝绸衬衫，纽扣一直延伸到前面。他总是这样穿着，带着某种可以被接受的老派风格，星化再次发现自己被弘中游走于过去和现在之间的那种感觉所吸引。他非常清楚吸血鬼不会变老，但这还是他第一次真正理解，对一个人来说，永恒意味着什么。

Biting at his lower lip, Seonghwa observed Hongjoong from across the table, the breeze shifting the vampire’s hair forward into his face. “Is there a reason why you came out here?” he asked eventually, breaking the comfortable silence between them. That was another thing he liked about Hongjoong - his presence was always warm, and he never made Seonghwa feel nervous. At least, not the bad kind of nervous.
星 화 轻轻咬着下唇，目光越过桌子，落在对面的弘中身上。微风拂过，吸血鬼的发丝调皮地拂过他的脸庞。 “你特地跑来这里，有什么原因吗？” 最终，星火打破了两人之间那份令人感到舒适的沉默。这就是他喜欢弘中的另一点——他的存在总是那样温暖，从不会让星火感到紧张。至少，不是那种让人不舒服的紧张。

“Because you are out here,” Hongjoong said simply. “I worry that sometimes it may be dangerous for you to leave here. Not because I own you, but because of the other vampires that live in this city. They are not all so kind.”
“因为你在这里啊，” 洪仲基语气简单，却带着一丝不易察觉的温柔。“我担心你离开这里会有危险。不是因为我占有你，而是因为这座城市里还住着其他的吸血鬼。他们可不都像我这么好说话。”

“I wasn’t planning on leaving,” Seonghwa reassured, flattered that Hongjoong cared about his safety. “And if I ever did have to leave for something, I would only go during the day. I don’t like going through the city at night.”
“我压根儿就没打算走，”星化安抚道，心里暗爽，原来洪中这么关心他的安危。“就算真有事儿要出去，我也肯定挑白天。晚上我可不喜欢在城里瞎晃悠。”

Hongjoong leaned forward, resting his elbows against the table. His sleeves fell to expose his wrists, slender and pale in the light of the moon. “Do you know the eight bloodlines?” he asked, his tone serious. “This is something you must know, for your own safety. You know that we are immortalists, but do you know the rest?”
洪仲基身子前倾，手肘撑在桌上。月光下，他的袖子滑落，露出苍白纤细的手腕。“你知道八大血脉吗？”他问道，语气严肃。“为了你的安全，你必须了解这些。你知道我们是不死者，但你了解其他的吗？”

Feeling a bit embarrassed, Seonghwa shook his head. “I only know of a few,” he admitted, rubbing the sides of his sneakers together under the table. “I don’t know a lot about vampires. Most of those details are kept from humans, unless if you’re someone of importance, which I am most certainly not. I don’t even really know why the bloodlines are so important. What makes you different from any other vampire? Aren’t all of you immortal, anyway?”
星和有些不好意思地摇了摇头。“我就知道那么一丁点儿，” 他承认道，同时在桌子底下，略带局促地用鞋子蹭着地面。“关于吸血鬼的事情，我了解的真不多。那些细节大部分都对我们人类保密，除非你是很重要的人物，但我肯定不是。我甚至搞不懂血统到底有什么重要的。是什么让你们和别的吸血鬼不一样？反正你们不都是永生的吗？”

“We can discuss all of that at another time,” Hongjoong promised. “There is a lot of information for you to learn. For now, I will simply tell you what an immortalist is. Although vampires are dead, we can still be injured, but we can only be killed in a few specific ways. However, when we are injured, it can take a very long time for wounds to heal, because our bodies do not regenerate with the same speed as human healing. We are called immortalists because our wounds heal immediately. Would you like to see?”
“那些事我们以后有的是时间慢慢聊，” 洪中承诺道，“你得学的东西还多着呢。现在，我先简单跟你说说什么是‘不死者’。虽然吸血鬼是死的，但我们还是会受伤，只不过只有几种特定的方法才能杀死我们。而且，我们一旦受伤，伤口愈合会非常慢，因为我们的身体不像人类那样能快速再生。我们被称为‘不死者’，是因为我们的伤能瞬间痊愈。想看看吗？”

Processing the information, Seonghwa immediately tried to protest. “You don’t have to hurt yourself just to show me, I think I get the point-”
星化赶紧理解着他话里的意思，立刻想要阻止。“你没必要为了证明给我看，就伤害自己啊，我觉得我明白你的意思了——”

Without breaking eye contact, Hongjoong grabbed his own pinky finger and snapped it, the sound of crunching bone disrupting the otherwise peaceful environment. “Oh my god!” Seonghwa jumped out of his chair, mouth agape as he rushed to the other side of the table, staring at Hongjoong’s evidently broken finger. At the first knuckle, it was now bent and pointing in the wrong direction, the sight of which made Seonghwa’s stomach churn as he reached for Hongjoong’s hand, cradling it carefully between his own. “Why would you do that, oh my god-”
洪中没让眼神有丝毫的动摇，抓起自己的小拇指，咔嚓一声掰断了。清脆的骨头断裂声，在这原本还算平静的环境里，显得格外刺耳。“我的天哪！” 星化猛地从椅子上跳起来，张大了嘴，赶紧绕到桌子的另一边，盯着洪中那明显已经断了的手指。从第一个指节那里，手指弯曲着指向了错误的方向，这景象让星化一阵恶心，他连忙握住洪中的手，小心翼翼地捧在自己的手心里。“你为什么要这么做啊，我的天哪——”

“It is not a big deal, look,” Hongjoong countered, his voice completely unaffected by the injury. Seonghwa watched as his finger straightened again with another crack, although he hadn’t touched it at all to set it back in place. The swelling and discoloration immediately went away, and Seonghwa was left staring at a normal pinky finger. “Like I said, we heal instantly. The only way for us to die is for a stake of wood to go straight through the heart, killing us before we can heal. Or decapitation, or being burned alive, or going out in the sun. Pure silver can inflict damage, but it is not deadly.”
“这算个屁事儿，你看，” 洪仲语气轻松地反驳道，好像受伤的人根本不是他。盛华目不转睛地盯着他的手指，又是一声脆响，那小拇指竟然自己直了回去，他可都没碰它一下。肿胀和淤青瞬间消失得无影无踪，盛华傻眼了，那又变回一根粉嫩嫩的小拇指。“我说了嘛，我们能瞬间自愈。唯一能弄死我们的办法，就是用木桩直接穿透心脏，让我们在愈合之前就嗝屁。或者砍头，或者活活烧死，或者跑到太阳底下。纯银的东西能伤到我们，但不会致命。”

As he stood in front of Hongjoong, Seonghwa stared at him with wide eyes, still holding his completely healed hand. “Why are you telling me that!” he practically shrieked, unable to fathom how Hongjoong was still so unbothered. “That’s, like, the biggest secret about vampires! Humans speculate, but we don’t actually know what’s true and what’s myth! I could kill you with that information, do you not get that?”
星火就这么愣在弘中的面前，眼睛瞪得老大，手里还抓着他那只完全复原的手。“你、你干嘛告诉我这些啊！”他简直要尖叫起来，实在没法理解弘中怎么还能这么满不在乎。“这可是，关于吸血鬼最大的秘密啊！人类只能瞎猜，根本搞不清哪些是真的，哪些是神话！我完全可以用这些信息宰了你，你懂不懂啊？”

“But you will not,” Hongjoong countered, his lips curving. “So what does it matter?”
“但你不会的，” 洪仲语气带着一丝玩味，嘴角微微勾起，“所以这又有什么关系呢？”

Letting go of Hongjoong’s hand, Seonghwa instead dropped his head into his own hands with a groan. “You’re too reckless,” he muttered, and much to his irritation, all Hongjoong did was laugh. “I’m serious! You’ll get yourself killed if you act so careless.”
松开洪仲的手，星化懊恼地把头埋进自己的掌心里，低声抱怨：“你太莽撞了。” 让他更恼火的是，洪仲只是笑了笑。“我是认真的！你这么不小心，迟早会丢掉性命的。”

“You forget that I have survived this long,” Hongjoong pointed out, and Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “I am not careless. I simply know who I can trust.”
“别忘了我已经活了这么久，” 洪仲反驳道，星化翻了个白眼。“我不是不小心，我只是知道该信任谁。”

“You’ve known me for a week, Mr ‘I’m-so-old-and-wise.’ You know nothing about me.”
“你认识我才一个星期，‘老成持重’先生。你根本不了解我。”

Hongjoong shrugged. “You say that as if it matters. It does not. I like you, Seonghwa. You are most endearing when you lose your composure.” All that did was make Seonghwa gape at him again, which Hongjoong seemed to find quite hilarious.
洪仲耸耸肩。“你说的好像这很重要一样。其实一点也不重要。我喜欢你，星化。你失去冷静的样子，真是太可爱了。” 这番话让星化再次目瞪口呆地看着他，而洪仲似乎觉得这很有趣。

Pulling the cloak tighter around himself, Seonghwa turned around to face the forest again instead, bracing his hands against the black railing that circled the porch. He spoke without looking at Hongjoong, for his heart couldn’t bear another moment of that smug expression. “Whatever. That doesn’t change the fact that you don’t know the first thing about me. You can’t be sure that I won’t just decide to kill you one day when your teasing pushes me over the edge.”
星化拽紧了身上的斗篷，转过身，再次面向森林，双手撑在环绕着门廊的黑色栏杆上。他没有看弘中，因为他的心再也承受不了那副自鸣得意的表情。“随便你怎么说。但这改变不了你根本不了解我的事实。你别得意，说不定哪天你再这么逗我，惹毛了我，我就一刀捅了你。”

He didn’t receive a response right away, and he exhaled a slow breath as he enjoyed the silence, the night breeze caressing his cheeks and blowing his bangs away from his face. Hongjoong’s cloak was well made, and it kept the chill away, allowing him to enjoy the peace that surrounded this house in the middle of the woods. Now that he had spent time out here, he could never go back to the urban disorder of the city.
他没立刻收到回复，便缓缓吐出一口气，享受着这片刻的宁静。夜风温柔地拂过他的脸颊，吹散额前的碎发。洪中的斗篷质地极佳，挡住了寒意，让他能尽情享受这栋林中房子的静谧。在这儿待了这么久，他再也回不去城市里那喧嚣嘈杂的生活了。

A quiet rustling sound came from behind him, and then Hongjoong’s presence was impossible to ignore, his chest pressing against Seonghwa’s back as he rested his hands against the railing as well, effectively caging Seonghwa in place. Seonghwa froze, his breathing coming to a halt as Hongjoong spoke, his lips right beside Seonghwa’s left ear. “Well, I want to know more about you. You know that, do you not?”
身后传来一阵细微的窸窣声，紧接着，洪中的存在感变得无法忽视——他的胸膛紧贴着星和的后背，双手也撑在了栏杆上，有效地将星和困在了原地。星和僵住了，呼吸也随之停止，洪中的嘴唇几乎贴在他的左耳边，轻声说道：“嗯……我想更了解你。你明白的吧？”

Swallowing with force, Seonghwa kept his eyes trained forwards, although he couldn’t even think straight with Hongjoong’s body pressed against his own like this. But at the same time, he didn’t want to free himself, even though he easily could have. He was bigger than Hongjoong - he could break out of the cage of his arms, if he wanted to.
星化喉结滚动，硬生生咽了口唾沫，眼睛直视前方，虽然洪中这样紧紧地贴着他，搞得他脑子都快没法思考了。但同时，他也不想挣脱，明明他可以轻易挣脱的。他比洪中高大，如果他想，完全可以挣脱他双臂的束缚。

The problem was that he didn’t want to.
问题是，他不想。

“Well, that’s too bad,” he managed to say, trying to keep the strain out of his voice. “Because I’m not telling you anything.”
“好吧，那真是太可惜了，” 他努力稳住声音，不让语气听起来太紧绷。“因为我什么都不会告诉你的。”

When Hongjoong chuckled, chills spread over Seonghwa’s neck, and he fought the urge to shudder. “I already know more than you think I do,” he said, his voice still soft, his accent adding to the sultriness of his tone. “I will learn more, with time. You interest me, Seonghwa.”
洪中轻笑一声，星化感到一阵战栗沿着脖子蔓延，他竭力克制住颤抖的冲动。“我已经知道的比你想象的要多，” 洪中声音依旧轻柔，带着口音，更添了几分撩人。“随着时间推移，我会知道更多。你让我很感兴趣，星化。”

“I’ve barely told you anything,” Seonghwa protested, and he swore the stars were winking at him, mocking him from all the way up in the sky. “Anything you think you know is just from inferences you’ve drawn on your own. Don’t get too cocky.”
“我都没跟你说什么呢，” 星化抗议道，他发誓星星肯定在朝他眨眼睛，仿佛在遥远的天际嘲笑他似的。“你自以为知道的一切，都不过是你自己推断出来的。别太得意忘形了。”

Hongjoong hummed, unbothered by this, much to Seonghwa’s irritation. Did anything ever bother him? He never reacted to anything, and Seonghwa couldn’t stop himself from reacting to everything, which left him feeling like he never had the upper hand. Which, truth be told, he never did. For a moment, he considered moving one of his legs backwards to step on Hongjoong’s toes in hopes of drawing a reaction out of him, but that probably wouldn’t bother him either. He would probably find it endearing, if his earlier words held any truth.
洪中哼了一声，压根没把他的话放在心上，这让星化更加恼火。到底有什么事能让他烦心？他好像对什么都无动于衷，而星化却总是忍不住对所有事情都做出反应，这让他觉得自己永远都无法占据上风。 说实话，他也确实从未占到过上风。 这一刻，他甚至想把一条腿往后挪，踩洪中的脚趾一下，希望能让他有点反应，但估计那样也没用。 如果他之前说的那些话是真的，那家伙说不定还会觉得这很可爱呢。

“I know that you like your steak cooked rare. I know that you over season your food. I know that you’re right handed. I know that bunnies are your favorite animal. I know that you like the color pink. I know that you have a kind soul, even though life has not treated you well. I know that you hug your pillow when you sleep. I know-”
“我知道你喜欢牛排三分熟。我知道你做菜总是盐放太多。我知道你是右撇子。我知道你最喜欢的动物是小兔子。我知道你喜欢粉红色。我知道你心肠很好，即便生活对你不太友善。我知道你睡觉的时候喜欢抱着枕头。我知道——”

“Okay, stop!” Seonghwa finally blurted, letting go of the porch railing and turning around to face Hongjoong. Now the railing pressed into his back, and they were still standing way too close for comfort, breath mingling as they looked at each other. “I get your point. Why did you watch me sleep, that’s creepy!”
“好了，打住！” 星化终于忍不住打断了他，松开了扶着门廊栏杆的手，转过身来面对弘中。现在栏杆顶在他的后背上，而他们之间的距离仍然近得让人浑身不自在，呼吸交织，彼此凝视。“我明白你的意思了。你干嘛偷看我睡觉啊，太变态了吧！”

Still grinning, Hongjoong didn’t move his arms, leaning in a bit closer. “You always ask me to stay with you after a feeding. I wait until you are fully asleep. You like to hug your pillow.”
弘中依旧挂着那副笑容，没有挪开手臂，反而又凑近了一点。“每次喂食后，你都会让我陪着你。我会等你完全睡着了才走。你喜欢抱着枕头睡觉嘛。”

Face flaming, Seonghwa shook his head. “I’m not going to ask you to stay anymore,” he threatened, and even that didn’t trip up Hongjoong, his expression not faltering in the slightest.
盛怒之下，盛火涨红了脸，摇了摇头。“我不会再求你留下来了，” 他带着威胁的语气说道，可即便这样也没让洪中乱了阵脚，他的表情甚至连一丝动摇都没有。

“That is not true,” he said, not a hint of doubt behind his words. “You do not like to be alone. You like it when I stay.”
“你口是心非，” 洪中语气笃定，没有丝毫怀疑。“你不喜欢一个人待着。你喜欢我留下。”

The worst part about all of this was that every word Hongjoong said was true, and Seonghwa couldn’t even think straight when they were positioned like this, a mere breath’s distance from each other. He couldn’t resist the urge to glance at Hongjoong’s lips, and when their eyes met again, Hongjoong was smirking. Fuck. “What happened to being nice to me?” Seonghwa whined, finally unable to keep up his end of… whatever this was. “Stop teasing.”
最糟糕的是，洪中说的每一句话都是对的，而且当他们这样近距离地站着，彼此之间只有呼吸可闻时，盛火简直无法冷静思考。他忍不住瞥了一眼洪中的嘴唇，当他们的目光再次相遇时，洪中正带着一丝坏笑。该死。“说好的对我好一点呢？” 盛火终于支撑不住，开始抱怨，没法再继续这场... 不管是什么的拉锯战了。“别再逗我了。”

Hongjoong’s expression softened immediately at that, and his arms moved closer to Seonghwa’s body, now touching his waist on either side. “That was all you had to say, darling,” he said innocently, the stars reflected in the dark color of his eyes. His irises held galaxies of their own, and Seonghwa’s breath hitched as he stood there, frozen in place. “You know your comfort is what matters to me the most.”
洪中一听这话，表情立刻柔和了下来，双臂也更贴近星化的身体，双手正搭在他腰的两侧。“宝贝儿，你要是早这么说就好了，” 他无辜地说着，眼睛里倒映着点点星光。他的虹膜里仿佛藏着整个银河，星化站在那里，一动不动，呼吸都屏住了。“你知道我最在乎的就是你舒不舒服。”

“I really don’t think I can handle you,” Seonghwa breathed, the thought coming out before he could force himself to keep his mouth shut. “I’m way too far out of my depth here.”
“我真觉得我快招架不住你了，” 星化喘着气，话没过脑子就溜了出来，想憋都憋不住。“我陷得太深了，完全超出我的能力范围了。”

“I do not agree,” Hongjoong said with a slight shake of his head. “I believe you are the only one who can.”
“我不同意，” 弘中轻轻摇了摇头，说道，“我相信只有你才能做到。”

Seonghwa’s blush deepened at that, his heart doing funny things under that stare. “Why are you so adamant about that?” he whispered, unable to find his voice. “I haven’t done anything to warrant your interest.”
听了这话，星化的脸更红了，被那双眼睛盯着，心跳得厉害。“你…你为什么这么肯定？” 他低声问，嗓子像是被什么堵住了。“我…我没做什么值得你感兴趣的事啊。”

“Ah,” Hongjoong murmured, tilting his head slightly to one side. “Yes you have. I find everything about you to be interesting.” Seonghwa parted his lips, although any attempt to speak died in his throat when Hongjoong’s finger pressed gently against his mouth, keeping him quiet. “You do not have to do anything to warrant my interest like you say. I like you the way you are.”
“啊，” 弘中低声说道，头微微一偏。“你做了啊。关于你的一切，我都觉得很有意思。” 星化张了张嘴，想说些什么，但弘中却用手指轻轻地按在他的嘴唇上，让他安静。 所有的话都堵在了嗓子眼里。“你不需要做什么来‘值得’我的喜欢，我喜欢的就是你现在的样子。”

He said the words so easily, and yet they hit Seonghwa directly in the heart, his eyes burning the next second as he blinked a few times. “You can’t just say things like that,” he replied, the words slightly choked. Surrounded by only the forest and the stars, Seonghwa found it easier to be honest, and when he looked into those kind eyes it all came tumbling right out of his mouth. “I’m really used to being alone, okay? And if you say things like that, I’ll forget how to be alone, and that will only make my life harder later on. So just…” he sighed, biting the inside of his cheek. “This can’t amount to anything, anyway. I know that my life is a blip compared to yours, but don’t play with me. Please.”
这话他说得轻巧，却像一记重锤，狠狠砸在星和的心口。他眨巴了几下眼睛，顿觉眼眶发热。“这种话……不能随便说啊。”他的嗓音有些哽咽。置身于森林和星光之下，星和觉得坦诚似乎变得容易了些。当他对上那双温柔的眼睛，所有的话都一股脑地涌出了口。“我已经习惯了一个人，真的。你如果老说这些话，我会忘记怎么独处的。这样以后我的日子会更难过。所以……就……”他叹了口气，咬了咬腮帮子。“反正我们之间也不可能有结果的。我知道我的生命对你来说不过是弹指一挥间，所以……别玩弄我，好吗？求你了。”

As soon as he was done, Hongjoong’s expression had already shifted, all hints of amusement gone now. He dropped his arms, and Seonghwa missed his touch as soon as it was gone. “My intention was never to play with you,” he said seriously. “I apologize if I came off that way. But you must understand… you do not need to be alone. You may stay here for as long as you desire.”
他刚说完，洪中那戏谑的表情就消失得无影无踪，取而代之的是一片严肃。他放下手臂，圣华立刻就感到失落，没了那份触碰。“我从来没想过要玩弄你，”他认真地说，“如果我给你的感觉是那样，我很抱歉。但你一定要明白……你不需要孤身一人。你想在这里待多久都可以。”

Looking down at his shoes, Seonghwa sucked in a breath. “Do you really mean that?” he asked, although he had asked similar questions countless times already. But Hongjoong never stopped reassuring him, and now was no exception, either.
圣华低头看着自己的鞋子，深吸了一口气。“你……你真的是这么想的吗？”他问道，虽然类似的问题他已经问过无数次了。但洪中从未停止过安抚他，这次也不例外。

“Of course I do,” he said firmly, and when he reached out again, Seonghwa expected to feel that cold touch against his hands, or his face, but that was not the case. All Hongjoong did was adjust the cloak to wrap more fully around Seonghwa’s frame, buttoning the front to keep it closed. “I will prove it to you. You will see.”
“当然是真的，” 他语气坚定地说。星化本以为他再次伸出手时，会感受到那种冰冷的触碰，要么是落在他的手上，要么是抚上他的脸庞。但这次却不一样。洪中只是帮他把斗篷裹得更紧实，扣上前面的扣子，不让寒风钻进来。“我会向你证明的。你会看到的。”

Seonghwa glanced up at him again, and after a moment of silence he nodded. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll wait for you to prove it to me, then.”
星化再次抬眼看向他，沉默片刻后，轻轻点了点头。“好吧，” 他低声说道。“那我就等着你来证明。”

“Very well,” Hongjoong agreed, gesturing towards the front door. “Shall we go inside? You will be tired soon. I would also like to give you something.” He reached across the table, grabbing the plate that Seonghwa had left there after finishing his dinner. 
“很好，” 洪中应允道，并示意了一下房门。“我们进去吧？你很快就会累的。而且，我还想给你点东西。” 他越过桌子，拿走了星化吃完饭后放在那里的盘子。

Once Seonghwa nodded, the two of them headed inside, Seonghwa’s interest now piqued after that last sentence. “You want to give me something?” he asked as he stepped back inside, Hongjoong holding the door open as he always did. “What is it?” 
成华一点头，两人就一前一后地进了屋。成华的好奇心啊，全被最后那句话给勾起来了。“你想给我点儿什么？”他边往里走边问，洪中像往常一样，替他把着门。“到底是什么啊？”

Hongjoong just smiled, walking past Seonghwa and bringing him into the living room. None of the others were around yet, for they had the tendency to linger in their rooms for a while after the sunset, not waking up until closer to midnight. Hongjoong wasn’t normally awake at this time either, but he was quite lively tonight. 
洪中只是笑了笑，径直走过成华，把他带到了客厅。其他人现在都还没影儿呢，他们总是习惯在日落之后，还在自己房间里赖一会儿，不到午夜都不起床。洪中平时这个时候也该睡着了，可今晚却精神得很。

The two of them sat down on the loveseat, and Hongjoong set down the plate before he slid his hand into one of the front pockets of his pants, pulling out an object. It fit in the palm of his hand, and he held it out for Seonghwa to see. A small metal rectangle, long and thin, with various gemstones encrusted within the silver exterior. “What is this?” he asked, taking it from Hongjoong and running his fingers over the ridges between the gems. 
两人在双人沙发上落座，洪中放下盘子，然后把手伸进裤子前袋，掏出一个东西。那东西刚好能放在他掌心，他摊开手，让星和看个仔细。那是一个小小的金属长方形，又长又细，银色的外壳上镶嵌着各种宝石。“这是什么？”星和问道，从洪中手里接过那玩意儿，手指摩挲着宝石之间的纹路。

“It’s a knife,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa frowned, looking at it more closely. He couldn’t see any sign of a blade, and he glanced up at Hongjoong, willing him to elaborate. “If you press down on the right stone, the blade will come out. Let me show you.” 
“是把刀。”洪中说道，星和皱起眉头，更仔细地端详起来。他没看到任何刀刃的痕迹，抬眼看着洪中，示意他解释一下。“如果你按下右边的宝石，刀刃就会弹出来。我来给你演示一下。”

Seonghwa let the knife sit in his palm, and Hongjoong reached over to touch it, his fingers just barely brushing over Seonghwa’s skin. “This ruby, right here. See how it is a bit larger than the others, and it sits in the center? If you press down on it, the blade will come out. But make sure you are holding it correctly so that you do not hurt yourself. The flat emerald marks where the blade will emerge from, right here.” 
星化把刀放在手心里，弘中伸出手去碰它，指尖几乎擦过星化的皮肤。“这颗红宝石，就在这里。看到它比其他的稍微大一点，而且位于正中央吗？如果你按下去，刀刃就会弹出来。但要确保你握的方式是正确的，这样才不会伤到自己。那块扁平的祖母绿标志着刀刃会从哪里出来，就是这里。”

He touched the stone he was referencing, and Seonghwa flipped the knife around, allowing the emerald stone to point away from himself. Then, he rested one of his thumbs against the ruby that Hongjoong had pointed out, and he pressed down on it. Quite a bit of pressure was required, and he supposed that was a good thing, so that he wouldn’t accidentally stab himself. 
他摸了摸刚才提到的那块石头，星和也跟着翻转刀柄，让那颗祖母绿宝石尖朝外。然后，他把一根拇指抵在弘中指出的那颗红宝石上，用力按了下去。需要的力气还不小，他心想这倒也好，省得一不小心把自己给捅了。

However, once he pressed down with enough force, a blade emerged from within the gemstone-encrusted handle, and he gasped at the speed with which it moved. Now, he was staring at a unique blade, the end curved into a sharp point while the base was thicker and more sturdy. 
但当他加大力气往下按时，一柄利刃竟从那宝石镶嵌的刀柄中弹射而出，速度之快让他倒吸一口凉气。此刻，他正目不转睛地盯着这把造型奇特的刀刃，刀尖弯曲成一个锋利的尖端，而刀根却更加厚实坚固。

The blade was not that of a typical knife, he realized as he stared at it, and he moved one of his hands to lightly brush over the blunt side. While the outline of the blade was made from expertly crafted silver, free of any blemishes and glowing in the warm light of the roaring fireplace, the center of it was made from wood. 
他盯着那东西，才发现那玩意儿可不是什么普通的刀。他抬起一只手，轻轻拂过刀背。刀刃的轮廓是用精湛的银制成的，完美无瑕，在熊熊燃烧的壁炉的温暖光芒下闪闪发光。但刀的中心部分，却是木头做的。

Silver and wood - an obvious combination, and Seonghwa now understood why Hongjoong had gifted him this. 
银与木的结合——真是天作之合。现在星化总算明白洪中为什么要送他这个了。

“So first you tell me how to kill a vampire,” he murmured, looking at Hongjoong once more, those smoldering eyes already watching him. “And now you give me the perfect weapon to follow through?” 
“所以，你先是告诉我怎么弄死吸血鬼，”他低声说道，又一次看向洪仲，那双炽热的眼睛已经盯上了他。“现在又给我送来这么趁手的家伙，是想让我动手吗？”

Hongjoong smiled, and his fangs looked sharper than any blade, entrancing in their own lethal way. “You must be able to protect yourself,” he replied in earnest. “If you drive this blade through the heart of a vampire, they will die. Blades like this one were only ever made a long time ago. Humans are not permitted to wield them, but I need you to have this. In case you ever need it.” 
弘中笑了，露出的獠牙比任何刀锋都锋利，带着致命的吸引力。“你必须有自保的能力，”他认真地说。“如果这把刀刺穿吸血鬼的心脏，他们就会死。这种刀很久以前才被制造出来。人类是不允许使用它们的，但我需要你拿着它。以防万一，你需要它。”

“If this is the key to killing you, why do you even have it?” Seonghwa asked, his curiosity winning out. “Why didn’t you destroy it?” 
“如果这是能要你命的玩意儿，那你还留着它干嘛？” 星化实在忍不住好奇，脱口而出，“怎么不直接毁了它呢？”

“This blade that I gift to you now used to belong to me,” Hongjoong said, reaching out to press the ruby again and retract the blade before closing Seonghwa’s fingers around it. “When I was a human, a long time ago. I killed many vampires with this weapon. But I wish for you to have it, because I know that it will keep you safe.” 
“这把剑，现在我把它送给你，” 弘中说着，伸手又按了一下红宝石，收回了剑刃，然后合拢盛花的指头，让他紧紧握住。“很久以前，当我还只是个凡人的时候，它属于我。我用这把武器杀过很多吸血鬼。但我希望你拥有它，因为我知道它会保护你。”

Hongjoong had never shared a word of his past with Seonghwa before now, and that was certainly not what he had expected to hear. “You… killed vampires?” he asked, looking down at the knife in his grasp, imagining a human Hongjoong wielding it prior to his turning. “I didn’t know that.” 
洪仲之前从未向星和吐露过半点过往，而这绝对不是他期望听到的。“你……杀过吸血鬼？”他问道，低头看着手中的刀，想象着变成吸血鬼之前的洪仲挥舞着它的样子。“我不知道这件事。”

“It was a long time ago,” Hongjoong said cryptically, and Seonghwa could tell that he wasn’t interested in offering any further information right now, which was okay. After all, Seonghwa had shared very little about his own past, so it would be unfair for him to expect that from someone else. “It is yours now. Keep it on your person at all times. Please.” 
“那都是很久以前的事了，” 弘中故作神秘地说，星化看得出来他现在并不想透露更多，好吧，这样也行。毕竟，星化自己也鲜少提及过往，所以他也不好强求别人坦白。“现在它是你的了。请务必一直贴身带着它。”

Seonghwa nodded, clutching the knife tight, the gems pressing into his skin. “I will,” he promised, although he hoped he would never have to use it. Violence wasn’t new to him, as it was often difficult to avoid on the streets of the city, but Seonghwa had always erred more on the side of flight than fight. 
星和点点头，紧紧握着刀，宝石硌得他皮肤生疼。“我会的，” 他承诺道，尽管他打心底里希望永远都用不上它。暴力对他来说并不陌生，毕竟在城市街道上，想完全避开冲突几乎是不可能的。但星和向来更倾向于三十六计走为上计。

He slid the knife into his own pocket now, making a mental vow to always keep it with him. If Hongjoong was concerned enough about other vampires to ask him to carry it, then he would obey. Just because he preferred to avoid violence did not mean he wouldn’t use it if the opportunity arose. 
他把刀滑进自己的口袋里，心里暗暗发誓要一直带着它。既然洪中那么担心别的吸血鬼，还特意让他带着刀，他当然会听话。他只是更喜欢避免暴力，但这不代表机会来了他不会用。

At the end of the day, he would rather kill than be killed. 
说到底，他宁可杀人，也不想被人宰了。

~

Seonghwa blinked his eyes open, staring up at the ceiling, still not quite used to waking up in this bed. All of the aches and pains caused by the time spent sleeping in his car had disappeared, soothed away by the large, comfortable mattress beneath him. He moved his hand to his neck straight away, just as he did every morning, but no pain met his touch. The places where Hongjoong’s fangs had pierced his skin healed every time, and he smiled softly to himself as he sat up. 
星化惺忪地睁开眼，呆呆地望着天花板，还是不太习惯在这张床上醒来。曾经睡在车里留下的各种酸痛，早已被身下这张又大又舒服的床垫抚平。他像每天早晨一样，立刻抬手去摸自己的脖子，但并没有摸到任何疼痛。弘中的獠牙刺破皮肤的地方，每次都会自动愈合。他坐起身，忍不住轻轻地笑了。

The blankets pooled around his waist, and yawned, stretching his arms over his head. His back cracked in a few places, and he rubbed at his eyes to clear the blur of sleep out of his vision. Sunlight was already streaming through his window, the sun higher in the sky than it usually was when he woke up; he had slept in, then. 
被子滑落到腰间，他打了个哈欠，伸了个懒腰。后背传来几声脆响，他揉了揉惺忪的睡眼，想把眼前的模糊驱散。阳光已经洒满了整个房间，太阳的位置也比他平时醒来时要高了不少，看来是睡了个懒觉。

That was okay, because he didn’t have any obligations to attend to other than the rumble of hunger in his stomach. The antique clock on his wall told him that it was already lunch time, and he forced himself out of bed, padding over to his closet and pulling the door open. 
倒也还好，反正除了肚子咕咕叫之外，也没什么非做不可的事儿。墙上那老古董钟告诉他，都到午饭点了。他这才不情不愿地从床上爬起来，慢吞吞地走到衣柜前，拉开了柜门。

Now that he owned more clothes than he had at any other point in his life, he had a wider selection to choose from, but he opted for something comfortable today. A pair of loose jeans and a brown sweater, so soft that he couldn’t stop touching the material even after he had already pulled it on. He slid the knife Hongjoong had given him into his pocket as well, upholding his promise. Pulling on a pair of socks, Seonghwa then vacated his room, making a stop in the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his appearance before quietly moving through the hallway towards the staircase. 
现在他拥有的衣服比以往任何时候都多，选择的范围也更广了，但他今天还是选了舒适至上。一条宽松的牛仔裤，加上一件棕色的毛衣，柔软得他穿上后还是忍不住一直摸。他也没忘记洪中送他的那把小刀，顺手滑进口袋，算是履行了之前的承诺。穿上袜子，星化离开了房间，先去了趟洗手间刷牙，整理了一下仪容，然后才悄悄穿过走廊，走向楼梯。

As far as he knew, most of the other vampires also slept on the second floor, other than Wooyoung and San who occupied the third floor. Although Hongjoong hadn’t said it outright, Seonghwa suspected that the two of them slept upstairs for his safety, in case Wooyoung ever lost control. 
据星化所知，除了住在三楼的佑荣和伞之外，其他吸血鬼大多也睡在二楼。虽然弘中没明说，但星化怀疑他们俩住在楼上是为了他的安全，以防佑荣哪天失控。

He understood that fledglings weren’t fully in control of themselves yet, for even Wooyoung himself had said that on the first night, but Seonghwa had yet to see that side of him. They had interacted little since the first night, mostly because Wooyoung didn’t actually spend a lot of time downstairs to begin with, but he had been sweet every time they had encountered one another. Seonghwa had taken a liking to him; to all of them, really. 
他明白雏鸟有时难免会控制不住自己，毕竟宇荣第一天晚上就这么说过。但成华还没见过他那一面。自从第一晚后，他们几乎没什么互动，主要是因为宇荣本来就不怎么待在楼下。不过，每次碰到的时候，他都很甜。成华挺喜欢他的——实际上，是喜欢他们所有人。

Now, he descended the stairs, pressing a hand to his mouth as he yawned again, intending to head straight for the kitchen to satisfy his hunger. However, when he reached the first floor and turned towards the kitchen, he found that the room was already occupied by the very same vampire he had just been thinking about. 
他一边下楼，一边忍不住又打了个哈欠，手也捂在了嘴上，心里想着直奔厨房，先填饱肚子要紧。 谁知刚下到一楼，转头往厨房一看，好家伙，那个他刚才心里还念叨着的吸血鬼，居然已经在里面了！

Hongjoong’s words crossed his mind, his warning to never be alone with Wooyoung, but Seonghwa continued to walk forward anyway. He purposely made a bit of noise to alert Wooyoung to his presence, and the vampire whirled around from where he was sitting at one of the barstools around the kitchen island. 
洪仲的声音在他脑海中盘旋，告诫他永远不要单独和佑荣待在一起。但星和还是继续向前走去。他故意弄出一点声响，好让佑荣注意到他的到来。那个吸血鬼正坐在厨房岛台旁的高脚凳上，听到动静猛地转过身来。

“Hi,” Seonghwa greeted, keeping his distance just in case as he moved towards the refrigerator, resting his hand on the handle but not opening it yet. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
“哈喽，” 星化打着招呼，为了以防万一，他特意保持着距离，一边走向冰箱，手搭在把手上，却没立刻打开。“你现在不应该睡觉吗？”

Wooyoung just stared at him for a moment, his lips parted in surprise, as if he had forgotten that a human lived in their house now with a different sleep schedule from the rest. “Oh, um, hi,” he said eventually, and he sounded a bit nervous, which softened Seonghwa’s heart. “Yeah, I should be, but I couldn’t. I’m still having a hard time adjusting in that way, I guess. But I can leave, I’m not supposed to be around you without someone else here.” 
禹英愣愣地盯着他，嘴唇微微张开，像是忘了家里现在住着一个作息时间跟他们都不一样的人。“哦，嗯，嗨，”他终于开口了，听起来有点紧张，这让星和心里软了一下。“是应该睡了，但我睡不着。看来我在这方面还是很难适应。不过我可以走开，没有其他人在的时候，我不应该出现在你面前。”

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa assured, patting the pocket of his pants where the knife resided. “I know how to protect myself if something ever were to happen, but I don’t think it will. I think you’re more in control of yourself than you think.” 
“没事，” 星化安抚道，拍了拍裤子口袋，那里藏着刀。“我知道如果真发生什么事，我能保护自己。不过我觉得不会。我觉得你比你自己想的更能控制自己。”

That drew a small smile out of Wooyoung, and Seonghwa returned it easily before returning his attention to the fridge, pulling open the door to scan the contents. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted, so he just opted for leftovers from a meal he had made the day before, an assortment of meat and vegetables with some rice and kimchi. Removing the cover from the bowl, he placed it in the microwave and started the timer. 
这让佑荣嘴角微微上扬，星化也轻松地回以一笑，然后又将注意力转回冰箱，拉开门，扫视着里面的东西。他不太确定自己想吃什么，所以就随便选了昨天做的一顿饭的剩菜，是一些肉和蔬菜，还有米饭和泡菜。他揭开碗上的盖子，放进微波炉里，开始计时。

“I miss being able to eat,” Wooyoung admitted, watching the microwave as the seconds hummed away. “I don’t get hungry for human food anymore, but it’s like… in my mind, I miss it. Blood is all that satisfies my hunger, but I don’t like it. I just want to eat.”
“我怀念能吃东西的日子，” 宇勇承认道，眼睛盯着微波炉，听着时间一秒一秒地流逝。“我现在对人类的食物已经没感觉了，但就是…在我的脑海里，我还是想念那种味道。现在只有血才能满足我的饥饿感，可我不喜欢血啊。我只是想吃点别的。”

Seonghwa paused to consider that, for he could only imagine how hard it would be to adjust to never eating actual food again. Vampires like Hongjoong who had been around for a long time were used to it, but someone like Wooyoung who had lived completely as a human up until two months ago would still be coming to terms with all of the changes accompanying his death and subsequent revival. 
星火停顿了一下，认真地思考着这个问题，因为他能想象到，要适应再也不能吃真正食物的日子是多么困难。像弘中这样活了很久的吸血鬼早就习惯了，但像佑荣这样，直到两个月前还完全是人类的家伙，肯定还在努力接受死亡和随之而来的重生所带来的所有变化。这对他来说，简直就是一种“忍痛割爱”的折磨啊！

“You’re really brave, you know,” Seonghwa said, leaning his elbows against the kitchen counter. “For persisting, even though so much in your life has changed. It’s inspiring. There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel - I’m sure that every vampire has a hard time at first.”
“我说，你真的很勇敢，” 星化说道，手肘撑在厨房台面上。“经历了这么多变故，还能坚持下来。真是让人佩服。你现在的感受一点都没错——我相信每个吸血鬼一开始都不好受。”

Nibbling at his bottom lip, Wooyoung looked at the marble countertop, not quite meeting Seonghwa’s gaze. “San says that, too,” he murmured, his voice a bit distant now. “But it’s hard to believe him, sometimes. I don’t feel brave. I feel weak, and sad, and I miss being a human. I miss being alive.”
Wooyoung 轻轻咬着下唇，目光闪躲着，盯着大理石台面，不敢完全和 Seonghwa 对视。"San 也这么说，" 他喃喃道，声音听起来有点飘忽，"但有时候，我很难相信他。我感觉不到自己有多勇敢，反而觉得很脆弱，很悲伤，而且…我好想做回人类啊，想真真切切地活着。"

The microwave beeped, and Seonghwa removed his bowl once more, steam billowing from the food before dispersing into the air. He grabbed a pair of chopsticks and walked around the island to sit on the barstool beside Wooyoung, waiting for his food to cool. “What were your favorite parts of being a human?” Seonghwa asked, watching the boy beside him. “Other than the obvious things. What do you miss?” He hoped that maybe if Wooyoung had the opportunity to talk about it, he would have an easier time making peace with how things had changed since. 
微波炉“叮”地一声响，星化再次拿出他的碗，热气从食物中袅袅升起，然后消散在空气中。他拿起一双筷子，绕过料理台，坐在佑荣旁边的吧台上，等着食物降温。“当你还是人类的时候，你最喜欢什么？” 星化问道，一边观察着身边的男孩。“除了那些显而易见的事情。你怀念什么？” 他希望如果佑荣有机会谈论这些，他或许能更容易地与现状达成和解。

Wooyoung met his eyes again now, his voice small as he answered. “I liked cooking,” he admitted, glancing at Seonghwa’s plate. “I really liked it. I would have gone to culinary school, if it weren’t for other things that happened in my life that needed my attention. But since I became a vampire, I have no reason to continue with that passion anymore. That has been the case for so many things, because all I do now is stay here in this house. I know that I have endless years ahead of me now, but I don’t think my life will ever be as fulfilling as it was before.” 
禹英再次看向他的眼睛，声音低了下来，回答道：“我喜欢做饭，”他承认道，目光扫过星和的盘子。“我真的很喜欢。如果不是生活中发生了其他需要我关注的事情，我本来会去烹饪学校的。但是自从我变成吸血鬼后，我就没有理由再继续这份热情了。很多事情都是这样，因为我现在所做的就是待在这栋房子里。我知道我还有无尽的岁月，但我认为我的生活永远不会像以前那样充实了。”

He shook his head, and he almost sounded like he was trying not to cry. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful. I wanted to be turned, and I love this coven. I just feel so many conflicting emotions right now, and it’s sometimes just…” 
他摇了摇头，听起来像是极力忍住哭腔。“对不起，我不想让你觉得我不识好歹。我一直都想被转化，我也爱这个女巫团。我只是现在心里五味杂陈，有时候就…控制不住。”

His voice trailed off, and Seonghwa finished for him. “Too much?” 
他的声音渐渐弱了下去，星化替他补完了后半句。“太多了吗？”

Wooyoung hesitated for a moment before nodding. “And that’s okay,” Seonghwa said, taking his first bite of food and swallowing before he continued. “But I’m sure that we could figure out ways for you to still enjoy those parts of your human life that you miss. Like, if you miss cooking, you could always cook for me. I would love to eat anything you want to make.” 
佑荣犹豫了一下，然后点了点头。“没事的，”星化说着，咬了一口食物，咽下去之后继续说道。“但我相信我们能找到办法，让你继续享受你怀念的人类生活。比如，如果你想念做饭，你可以随时为我做。我什么都爱吃。”

Immediately, Wooyoung brightened. “Really?” he asked, and Seonghwa nodded, chewing another bite. “I - I would love to do that. And I’m really good at cooking, I swear. Anything that you like to eat, I can make for you.” 
Wooyoung 瞬间眼前一亮， “真的吗？” 他问道。Seonghwa 点点头，又咬了一口食物。“我…我真的非常乐意。而且我做饭超厉害，我发誓。只要是你爱吃的，我都能给你做出来。”

“I’m not really very knowledgeable when it comes to food,” Seonghwa said, shrugging. Sitting here with Wooyoung, he saw no reason to keep his walls up, not when this boy was clearly hurting. Maybe the two of them had experienced different kinds of hurt, but the feeling was still the same. “I didn’t have steady access to it for most of my life. Living here is the first time I’ve been able to fall asleep with a full stomach. So I assure you, I will love anything that you make.” 
“要说吃的，我其实不太懂，” 星化耸耸肩，坦白道。和佑荣坐在一起，他觉得没必要再竖起什么防备，这孩子明明伤心着呢。也许他们经历的伤痛不一样，但那种滋味儿，总是相通的。“我这辈子，大部分时间都没好好吃过饭。住在这儿，才是我第一次能饱着肚子睡觉。所以，我保证，你做的什么我都爱吃。”

Wooyoung’s expression softened, and despite how little they knew of each other, Seonghwa had no doubts that he was an empathetic soul above all else. It was present in the way he spoke, his facial reactions, everything. “That’s awful,” he murmured with a slight shake of his head. “No one should have to live like that.” 
Wooyoung 的表情柔和了下来。尽管他和 Seonghwa 彼此了解不多，但 Seonghwa 确信，Wooyoung 首先是个极富同情心的人。 这点体现在他的言谈举止，面部表情，以及他的一言一行中。 “太糟糕了，” Wooyoung 喃喃低语，微微摇了摇头。“不该有人过这样的日子。”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa agreed. “But hey, I have plenty of food now! Hongjoong has made sure of that.” He gestured at his plate with his chopsticks, mustering a smile to keep the mood from dropping too low. “I would love to eat any of your cooking, okay?” 
“是啊，” 星化赞同道。“不过话说回来，我现在可是食物充足！洪中保证的。” 他用筷子指了指自己的盘子，努力挤出一个笑容，想让气氛别太低落。“我很乐意吃你做的任何东西，真的。”

“Okay,” Wooyoung replied with a nod, the gears already turning behind those sparkling eyes. “I’ll make you something for dinner! Well, if I don’t fall asleep before then. I can’t really figure out this whole sleeping during the day thing.” 
“好嘞，” 佑荣点点头，那双亮晶晶的眼睛里已经开始打着小算盘，“那我给你做晚饭吃！ 呃，如果我没在那之前睡着的话。 我实在搞不懂这白天睡觉的玩意儿。”

“Me neither,” Seonghwa agreed, finishing up the last of his food, feeling pleasantly full. “I’m gonna be here for a while, so I figure it might be better if I can adjust my sleeping too, because I’m kind of lonely during the day. But I don’t know if I can convince my body to change like that.” 
“我也是，” 星化赞同道，吃完最后一口饭，感觉舒坦地饱了。“我得在这儿待一阵子，所以我想着如果能调整一下睡眠就好了，因为白天我有点孤单。但我不知道能不能说服我的身体做出这样的改变。”

Wooyoung smiled, and the apples of his cheeks puffed the slightest bit, which Seonghwa found to be extremely adorable. “At least we’re awake together now,” he remarked, pushing his bar stool away from the island. “If you’re done, want to go sit by the fire? I can’t feel the cold anymore, but I still like to sit where it’s warm.” 
禹英笑了，苹果肌微微鼓起，在星化看来真是可爱到爆。“至少现在我们一起醒着，” 他一边说，一边把吧台椅从料理台边推开。“你弄完了吗？要不要去火炉边坐坐？我感觉不到冷了，但还是喜欢待在暖和的地方。”

Grabbing his empty plate in his hands, Seonghwa agreed easily, washing his dishes quickly before joining Wooyoung by the fireplace. He sunk down onto the largest couch this time, the middle one, sighing as the plush cushions enveloped his body. “So, were you originally from Seoul?” Seonghwa asked once they were both settled, curious to hear the answer. 
星化顺手抄起空盘子，痛快地应了一声，麻利地把碗筷洗干净，就跑到壁炉边和佑荣汇合了。 这次他直接瘫倒在最大的那张沙发上——中间那个位置，柔软的靠垫瞬间将他包裹，舒服得他长叹一口气。“对了，你老家是首尔的吗？” 等两人都安顿好了，星化才好奇地问道。

The firelight turned Wooyoung’s skin to gold, and shadows shifted across his face as he nodded. “Yeah, I’ve always lived here,” he replied, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his sock-clad feet against the cushion beneath him. “My parents were always from here, too. Well, I never knew my dad, but my mom told me that.” 
火光映在佑荣的脸上，镀上了一层暖金色，随着他点头的动作，光影在他的面庞上流转。“是啊，我一直住在这儿，”他回答道，把腿蜷起来抱在胸前，穿着袜子的小脚丫抵在身下的垫子上。“我爸妈也一直在这儿。嗯，我没见过我爸，不过我妈是这么跟我说的。”

Seonghwa hummed in understanding. “I never knew either of my parents,” he supplied, mostly so that Wooyoung wouldn’t feel out of place. “I grew up in the city too, though. My first time being in the forest was when I came here, but there’s something about it that I think I like. It’s quiet in a way that the city never was.” 
星和轻轻哼了一声，表示理解。“我也不知道我爸妈是谁，”他补充道，主要是为了不让佑荣觉得自己格格不入。“我也是在城里长大的。第一次进森林就是来这儿的时候，但这里有种我说不出的感觉，挺喜欢的。这儿很安静，那种感觉在城市里是永远体会不到的。”

“It is,” Wooyoung agreed. “I used to like how busy the city was, but something in me changed a few years ago, and I couldn’t bear it any more after that. That’s why I’m here at all, really. I met San, and he kept me afloat when otherwise I don’t think I would have had it in me to keep going.” 
“是啊，” 宇英赞同道。“以前我挺喜欢城市里那种熙熙攘攘的感觉，但几年前，我内心的一些东西变了，之后就再也受不了了。说真的，这就是我来这儿的原因。我遇到了 San，他就像我的救生圈，不然的话，我觉得我可能坚持不下去了。”

Although he was still sitting right beside Seonghwa, he had clearly traveled somewhere far away, and Seonghwa chose not to pry. Instead, he just sat there in silence alongside Wooyoung, providing him with silent support in case he needed it. After a minute or two, he made the choice to shift over a little bit, resting his hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder. 
虽然宇荣明明就坐在星化身边，但他的思绪显然已经飘到了很远的地方。星化没有追问，只是默默地陪在他身边，用无声的支持告诉他：我在。过了一两分钟，星化稍稍挪动了一下身子，把手轻轻地放在了宇荣的肩膀上。

At the contact, Wooyoung’s head snapped in direction, and he blinked himself out of his trance. “Sorry,” he breathed, shaking his head. “That was rude. I was just… remembering some things. I didn’t mean to check out like that.”
就在指尖相触的那一刹那，佑荣猛地回过神来，像是从什么梦魇中惊醒一般，用力眨了眨眼。“对不起，”他低声喘息着，摇了摇头，“真没礼貌。我只是……想起了一些事。我不是故意走神的。”

With a gentle smile, Seonghwa gave a small shake of his head. “No, it’s okay,” he assured, dropping his hand. Wooyoung’s face fell once the contact was gone, however, so Seonghwa shifted even closer, so that the sides of their arms were touching. “I understand the feeling. If it would help you to talk about anything, you can. I’m a good listener.” 
星化温柔地笑了笑，轻轻摇了摇头。“没事，”他安抚道，收回了手。可佑荣的脸上立刻浮现出失落的神色，星化见状，又往他身边挪了挪，让两个人的手臂紧紧挨在一起。“我明白那种感觉。如果你想找人倾诉，随时都可以。我可是个很好的倾听者。”

Not that Seonghwa had been confided in many times in his life, but he had always yearned for it. When he was young, he used to sit alone at a long lunch table while others made the choice to cram onto the benches of the other tables instead of sitting with him. He had listened to the conversations near him as his stomach rumbled, imagining that he was a part of them, that he had friends too. 
诚然，成华这辈子也没被人倾诉过几次心事，但他一直渴望着能有这么一天。小时候，漫长的午餐时间，他总是孤零零地坐在空荡荡的餐桌旁，而其他人宁愿挤到其他桌子的长凳上，也不愿和他同桌。他只能听着不远处传来的喧闹谈笑，肚子咕咕叫着，却只能在脑海里幻想自己也是他们中的一员，自己也有朋友。

He had never had the opportunity to be a good listener for someone else, but he had always wanted to be. 
他从未有机会成为一个好的倾听者，但他一直都想成为那样的人。

Wooyoung sighed softly, leaning further against Seonghwa, soaking in his warmth just like he had on that first night. “You might regret saying that,” he said, although the humor in his voice fell a bit flat, laden with an undertone of sorrow. “Once I start talking, it’s hard for me to stop.” 
佑荣轻轻叹了口气，更加依偎在成华身上，贪婪地汲取着他的温暖，就像初次相遇的那个夜晚一样。“你也许会后悔这么说的。”他说，语气中带着一丝苦涩，那点幽默感也显得有些苍白无力，仿佛被悲伤所浸透。“我这人啊，一旦打开话匣子，就很难停下来了。”

“That’s okay,” Seonghwa replied, nudging Wooyoung in a playful, gentle way. “If it’ll help you to talk about it, I’m more than happy to listen.” 
“没事，” 星化带着点小调皮，轻轻地碰了碰佑荣，说道，“如果你觉得说出来会好受点，我很乐意当你的听众。”

“You’re really too nice,” Wooyoung said, resting his cheek against his knees as he turned his head to face Seonghwa more directly, one half of his face smushing as a result. “I get why Hongjoong likes you.” 
“你人真是太好了，” 佑荣嘟囔着，把脸颊搁在膝盖上，转过头，半张脸都挤变形了，更直接地面对星化，“我懂洪中为什么喜欢你了。”

Seonghwa blushed at that, and Wooyoung giggled. “You can talk to me about anything except Hongjoong,” Seonghwa grumbled, pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead, the mere sound of his name provoking a headache. “He drives me crazy.” 
星化被他这么一说，脸颊泛起微红，佑荣咯咯地笑了起来。“除了洪中，你什么都可以跟我说，” 星化嘟囔着，用手掌根按压着额头，光是听到他的名字就让他头疼。“他简直要把我逼疯了。”

“Vampires do that,” Wooyoung agreed, and as Seonghwa listened to him speak up close like this, he began to notice the barest hint of a lisp clinging to his words. Probably because of the fangs, since he was still just a fledgling, and Seonghwa’s heart swelled with fondness. Something about that was so endearing to him. “San was like that too, when I first met him. Well, he’s still kind of like that, although nowadays he’s too busy being worried to flirt me to death.”
“吸血鬼都这样，” 佑荣表示赞同，星化听着他如此近距离地说话，开始注意到他话语间带着一丝若有若无的口齿不清。大概是因为獠牙的缘故吧，毕竟他还是个刚长成的雏鸟，星化心里涌起一阵喜爱之情。不知怎么的，这一点让他觉得格外可爱。“我刚认识伞的时候，他也这样。好吧，他现在也差不多是这样，虽然现在他忙着担心，没空再来撩拨我了。”

Intrigued, Seonghwa nudged Wooyoung again as a silent request for him to continue, to which he obliged. “I met him when I was in a really bad place. It was always just my mom and I, but she got sick, and that’s the whole reason why I didn’t pursue culinary school like I mentioned before. I took care of her, but she only had a few years left, and then she passed away. That was about three years ago, now, but I don’t think it’ll ever hurt any less.” His voice cracked on the last word, his features sinking. “I would’ve thought that a heart that doesn’t beat wouldn’t hurt as much, but that isn’t the case.” 
听得入了迷，星化又轻轻推了推佑荣，示意他继续往下说。佑荣会意，便接着道：“我遇到他的时候，正是我人生最灰暗的时候。一直以来，都是我和我妈相依为命，后来她病了，这也是我之前提过，没能去上烹饪学校的原因。我一直在照顾她，但她还是只剩下了几年的时间，然后就去世了。这件事大概是三年前发生的，但我觉得，伤痛永远都不会减轻一丝一毫。” 他的声音在最后一个字上破裂，表情也变得黯然。“我还以为，一颗不会跳动的心脏，应该不会再那么痛了，但事实并非如此。”

“I’m so sorry,” Seonghwa murmured, and he would have liked to wrap his arm fully around Wooyoung then, but he didn’t know if that would be okay considering the warning Hongjoong had given him at the start. So he stayed where he was, but he hoped his voice conveyed the additional warmth that he would have liked to provide. “If she raised you, then I’m sure she was an amazing woman.” 
“对不起啊……” 星化低声喃喃，那一刻，他真想一把将佑荣搂紧，可又想起洪仲一开始就给他的警告，不知道这样做是否合适。所以他只能克制着，留在原地，但他希望自己的声音能传递出更多温暖，弥补这无法给予的拥抱。“既然是她把你养大的，我相信她一定是个了不起的女人。”

Wooyoung smiled at that, huffing a pained laugh. “She was,” he said, eyes shining. “After she died, I visited her at the cemetery every day. That was where I first met San.”
听了这话，佑荣苦笑一声，像是忍着疼一般，轻轻地哼了一声。“她啊，”他说道，眼眶闪着光，“她去世后，我每天都去墓地看她。在那里，我第一次遇到了 San。”

Of all the ways Seonghwa had expected for the story to go, nothing like this had crossed his mind. “What was he doing there?” he asked, finding it a bit strange.
事情发展到现在这个地步，和星化预想的任何一种可能性都截然不同。他觉得有点奇怪，忍不住问道：“他当时在那儿干什么呢？”

“The cemetery where she was buried is on the edge of this forest,” Wooyoung explained. “He didn’t intend to go there the first time, but he saw me there alone and told me to get home, that it’s dangerous to be so close to a forest after dark. And I knew he was right, but at that point I didn’t really care what happened to me either way.” 
“她埋的墓地就在这片森林的边上，” 宇英解释道。“他第一次来的时候，估计也没打算去那儿，但他看到我一个人在那儿，就让我赶紧回家，说天黑以后在森林边上很危险。我知道他说得对，但那时候我真的不在乎自己会怎么样了。”

His words were devastating, but Seonghwa also related to the sentiment more than he let on. “I didn’t know he was a vampire at first. I didn’t know until I saw him smile for the first time. But after that first night, I didn’t listen to his warning, and so he started sitting there with me instead. To keep me safe. It annoyed me at first, because I thought that I wanted to be left alone, but in truth that wasn’t really what I wanted. I was just afraid to become attached to someone, because I didn’t want to be left behind again.” 
他的话像一把刀子，刀刀扎心。但星化听了，心里却也泛起一丝共鸣，只是他没表现出来。“我一开始不知道他是吸血鬼。直到我第一次看见他笑，我才知道。但自从那晚之后，我就没听他的劝告，然后他就开始坐在我身边陪着我。为了保护我。一开始我挺烦他的，因为我以为我只想一个人待着，但其实我不是真的想那样。我只是害怕再次对某个人产生依赖，因为我不想再被抛下。”

Wooyoung sniffled, wiping at his eyes and nose with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, and Seonghwa was stricken by his every word. Had he not thought the same thing about his current situation with Hongjoong, afraid to grow attached? He had known that he would be able to relate to Wooyoung on the level of their shared connection to humanity, but they had far more in common than he had anticipated, and he felt his own emotions stirring as well. 
宇永抽了抽鼻子，用卫衣袖子擦着眼睛和鼻涕，盛华听着他的每一句话，心里都像是被什么东西狠狠地撞了一下。难道他之前对和弘中的关系，不也是这样想的吗？害怕投入感情，害怕依赖？他早就知道，因为和人类之间的连接，他和宇永肯定会有共鸣，但他们之间的共同点远比他预想的要多得多。他感觉自己的情绪也跟着翻涌起来，五味杂陈。

“Over time, I fell in love with him. I didn’t mean for it to happen, and we both knew that it’s against the law, but… he was the perfect mixture of sweet and enticing, and he cared about me when no one else did. I had nothing left, but then suddenly I had him. And I couldn’t bear the thought of continuing to age as a human while he stayed young forever, so when he mentioned the idea of turning me, I didn’t think twice. He warned me about how hard it is to be a fledgling, but I didn’t care back then, which I regret now. I wish I had at least prepared myself better. I don’t think I would be taking this quite as hard if I had done that.
不知不觉地，我爱上了他。这并非我本意，我们都清楚这是违背伦理的，但是……他身上混合着甜蜜和诱惑，简直完美，而且，在没人关心我的时候，他却对我关怀备至。我一无所有，突然间，我拥有了他。一想到自己会衰老死去，而他却会永远年轻，我就无法忍受。所以，当他提起让我变成和他一样的时候，我没有丝毫犹豫。他警告过我，成为一名新生的吸血鬼有多么艰难，可我当时根本不在乎，现在我后悔了。我真希望当初能做好更充分的准备。如果那样的话，我想我现在也不会这么难熬了。

“We had to go about it the legal way, otherwise it would’ve all been pointless, but with Hongjoong on the council it only took about two years until I was at the top of the list. So when the time came, San sired me, and here I am now. And I don’t regret a thing, I really mean it. There was nothing left for me as a human. But that still doesn’t change the fact that I miss parts of it. I miss having a heartbeat, and I miss feeling warm. I miss how my face used to burn whenever San talked to me, back then. But I was so dejected as a human that I didn't appreciate it enough until it was all gone. I only came back to life after I died, ironic as it sounds, and now I just miss it.” 
“咱们得按规矩来，不然就全白费劲了。多亏洪中在议会里，我才花了两年就排到了第一。所以时机一到，San 就赐予了我新生，这才有了现在的我。我一点也不后悔，真的。做人的时候，我一无所有。但即便如此，我还是会想念过去。想念心跳的感觉，想念那种温暖。还记得那时候，San 跟我说话的时候，我的脸总是烧得慌。唉，当时我太丧了，没好好珍惜，直到一切都消失了才追悔莫及。听起来是不是挺讽刺的，死了之后我才真正活了过来，现在却又开始怀念过去的一切。”

He sighed heavily as he finished, watching Seonghwa through hooded eyes, his cheeks shining in the light of the fire. How interesting that vampires were dead, and yet they could still cry, could still bleed. Where was the line drawn? Seonghwa didn’t have the slightest idea, because Wooyoung seemed pretty damn alive to him. 
他完事后，沉重地叹了口气，眯着眼，借着火光打量着星和，脸颊泛着光泽。真有意思，吸血鬼明明是死人，却还能哭泣，还能流血。那条界限到底在哪里？星和一点头绪都没有，因为在他看来，佑荣简直活得不能再活了。

“Thank you for telling me all of that,” Seonghwa murmured, for he understood this boy beside him now on a level that he hadn’t before. “I don’t think there is anything shameful in the way that you feel. All of those conflicting emotions - it all makes sense to me, at least. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough for everyone else around you. It just has to be enough for you, too.” 
“谢谢你告诉我这些，” 星化喃喃地说，因为他现在对身边这个男孩的理解更深了一层，是之前从未有过的。“我不觉得你感受到的这些有什么可耻的。所有那些矛盾的情绪——至少在我看来，一切都说得通。我不觉得你疯了。我觉得你已经在尽你所能做到最好了，这对你身边的人来说已经足够了。只是你也要觉得这样就足够了。”

The tears in Wooyoung’s eyes reflected the fire, creating a warped image of the flickering flames, illuminating his face even amidst his turmoil. “I’m trying,” he whispered timidly, as if he was afraid of his own words. “But I’m afraid that it won’t get better. I don’t know if I can believe it will, because then it will hurt even worse if it doesn’t.” 
火光映在佑荣的眼眶里，泪光潋滟，扭曲了跳动的火焰，即使在他一片混乱的情绪中，也照亮了他的脸庞。“我在努力，”他怯生生地低语，仿佛害怕自己的话语。“但我害怕一切都不会好转。我不知道我是否还能相信它会变好，因为如果它没有，我会更痛苦。”

Exhaling a soft breath, Seonghwa nodded. “I get it,” he said, and he moved his hand to squeeze Wooyoung’s arm gently, hoping that the touch would bring him comfort. “Trust me, I do. But you said it to me just now - you’re trying. And you’re going to figure this out. You’ll feel safe in your own skin again, okay? I promise.” 
星化轻叹一口气，点了点头。“我懂，”他说着，挪动手掌，轻轻地捏了捏佑荣的胳膊，希望这触碰能给他带来一丝慰藉。“相信我，我真的懂。但你刚才也对我说了——你在努力。你会找到解决办法的。你会再次在自己的身体里感到安全，好吗？我保证。”

“How do you know?” Wooyoung asked, and when he blinked a tear escaped the corner of his eye, rolling down to where his cheek rested against his knee. 
“你怎么知道？” 佑荣问道，他眨了眨眼，一颗眼泪从眼角滑落，流到他脸颊抵着膝盖的地方。

“Well, because I’ll help you in any way that I can. If you need to feel the warmth of a human, I’ll be around. And if you want to talk to someone who still remembers what it’s like to be human, you can come to me. Not that you have to, but the offer will always stand for when you need it. All of the other vampires around here clearly care about you a lot, I can see that. You don’t have to handle it all on your own.” 
“哎，因为我愿意尽我所能地帮你嘛。如果你需要感受人类的温暖，我就在你身边。如果你想找个人聊聊，一个还记得做人是什么滋味的人，你可以来找我。当然，这并不是说你*必须*这么做，但只要你需要，这份情谊永远都在。这儿其他的吸血鬼们都很在乎你，我看得出来。你没必要什么都自己扛着。”

Wooyoung’s stare was piercing as he clung to the words, his mouth trembling at the corners. “The blood is the worst part,” he said, voice wavering. “It’s disgusting. And it hasn’t gotten better. I don’t know how any of the others can live off of it. San tries to coax me to drink enough, but I always gag and can’t do it until my instincts take over and I go through multiple blood bags at once. That’s why the two of us aren’t supposed to be alone together, because I could hurt you if that happened when I was around you. I would never do it on purpose, but in those moments I’m not in control of myself.”
禹英的目光如芒刺背，紧紧抓住那些字句不放，嘴角颤抖着。“最可怕的是血，” 他的声音飘忽不定，“太恶心了。而且一直都没有好转。我不知道其他人是怎么靠那个活下去的。San 总是哄着我多喝点，但我总是恶心想吐，根本喝不下去，直到我的本能占据上风，一口气干掉好几个血袋。这就是为什么我们俩不能单独待在一起，因为如果我在你身边的时候发生那种情况，我可能会伤害你。我绝不会故意那样做，但在那些时候，我根本控制不住自己。”

“You seem in control now,” Seonghwa pointed out. 
“现在看起来，你总算能 hold 住了。” 星和意有所指地说。

“That’s because I just had one of those episodes yesterday, and I drank enough blood to sustain myself after starving for days. So right now, I’m fine. But the reason why I wasn’t really around the last few days was because of that. I stayed upstairs, because I didn’t want to risk hurting you.” 
“那是因为我昨天刚经历过一次，你知道的，那种状态……我喝了足够维持我好几天的血量，毕竟我饿了好久。所以现在我没事。但过去几天我没怎么出现，就是因为这个。我一直待在楼上，因为我不想冒着伤害你的风险。”

That explained why Seonghwa hadn’t encountered Wooyoung or San quite as much as the rest, then. “Still, you’re mindful of how you might react, and that means more than you think. I can’t understand what living off of blood feels like, but… give yourself time. Needing more than two months to adjust to an entirely new way of life is okay. Years from now, you’ll be grateful that you fought through it now. Right?” 
这么说，就能解释通为什么星化感觉最近没怎么碰到佑荣和伞了。“即便这样，你还是会考虑到自己的反应，这比你想象的更有意义。我无法理解靠血为生的感觉，但是……给自己一些时间吧。花两个多月来适应一种全新的生活方式，这没什么大不了的。说不定多年以后，你会感谢现在努力熬过去的自己。对吧？”

Biting his lower lip, Wooyoung nodded. He still didn’t raise his head from where it rested against his knees, and Seonghwa’s heart ached at the sight of him. “Would it help if I touched you?” he asked, keeping his tone kind, unassuming. “I could give you a hug, if you want.” 
Wooyoung 咬着下唇，点了点头。他还是没抬起头，脑袋抵在膝盖上，Seonghwa 看着他这副模样，心疼得厉害。“要是…我碰碰你，会不会好点？”他问得小心翼翼，尽量让自己的语气听起来温柔又不会冒犯。“要不…我抱你一下，行吗？”

Wooyoung lifted his head then, and his expression made it clear just how badly he wanted that. But he shook his head anyway, tears filling the wells bordered by his lower lashes. “I don’t want my face to be that close to your neck,” he explained in a whisper. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 
宇泳闻言抬起头，那神情分明写着他有多渴望。但他还是摇了摇头，泪水在下睫毛围成的水洼里打转。“我…我不想脸离你脖子那么近，” 他低声解释道， “我觉得那样…不太好。”

“Okay, something else then,” Seonghwa said without pause, offering a smile. “What would make you feel less worried?”
“好吧，那就换点别的，” 星化不假思索地说，脸上带着一丝笑意。“怎样才能让你不那么担心呢？”

Contemplating this for a moment, Wooyoung’s mouth twisted into a small pout. “Um, maybe you could just… hold my hand again. That made me feel happy last time.” 
Wooyoung 听了这话，微微皱起嘴，像是认真思考了一会儿，才不太情愿地说：“嗯……要不，你……你再握握我的手吧。上次那样，我感觉挺开心的。”

“I can do that,” Seonghwa said, and he moved his hand down slowly until their palms were touching, curling his fingers around Wooyoung’s hand. “Is that okay?’ 
“这当然可以，” Seonghwa 语气温柔，说着便慢慢地将手向下移，直到两人的手掌碰到一起。他用手指轻轻地包裹住 Wooyoung 的手，带着一丝试探地问道：“这样可以吗？”

Looking somewhat shy now, Wooyoung nodded. “Yeah,” he said, and he looked so small curled up on the couch like this. “Thank you.” 
Wooyoung 似乎有些害羞了，轻轻点了点头。“嗯，” 他小声应道，整个人蜷缩在沙发上，显得格外小只。“谢谢你。”

With his free hand, Seonghwa ruffled Wooyoung’s hair, unable to resist the urge. Wooyoung leaned into that touch as well, and Seonghwa’s heart clenched. “Whenever you feel okay to come down here, I’ll always do this for you. I don’t mind. Being close to someone is good for me, too.” He paused, a blush rising to his cheeks. “Well, I’ve been close to Hongjoong, but that’s different. He’s tormenting me - it’s nice to be close to someone as sweet as you.”
星化空着的那只手，忍不住揉了揉旴荣的头发。旴荣也顺势靠了过去，星化感觉心头一紧。“只要你想下来，随时都可以，我一直都会陪你。我不介意。和人亲近对我来说也是好事。” 他顿了顿，脸颊泛起一丝红晕。“嗯...之前我和弘中也很亲近，但那不一样。他就是个折磨人的主儿——还是和你这样的小甜心待在一起舒服。”

That made Wooyoung smile, the tips of his fangs showing. While Hongjoong’s fangs contributed to his air of dangerous appeal, Wooyoung’s fangs just made him look cute, invoking feelings of fondness. “I’ve never seen Hongjoong like that,” he commented, visibly calmer now that he had their shared touch to ground him. “I haven’t known him for super long, but I used to just think he was… um, old, for one thing. Always kind, but with an air of immortal elegance that was kind of intimidating sometimes. But now whenever I see him, he’s different. You’re good for him, I think.”
伍永听了，嘴角咧开一个笑，露出了尖尖的小虎牙。洪仲那两颗虎牙，是让他更添了几分危险的吸引力，可伍永的虎牙，就显得格外可爱，让人忍不住心生喜爱。“我从没见过洪仲那样，” 他评论道，显然有了肢体接触的慰藉，平静了不少。“我认识他不算太久，以前总觉得他…嗯，首先，就是觉得他老，总是那么温柔，但身上总带着一股不食人间烟火的优雅，有时候挺让人望而却步的。但现在每次见到他，都感觉不一样了。我觉得，你对他来说是良药。”

Seonghwa wasn’t quite so sure of that, but his heart fluttered just the same. “I don’t know if he’s good for me,” he admitted, although he was mostly joking. “Everything he says makes me blush, and yet he’s never affected by anything that I say, so I’m left reeling while he just stands there with that stupid grin on his face.” Seonghwa’s lips curled into a pout as he spoke, and it drew a giggle out of Wooyoung.
星化心里其实也没那么确定，但心跳还是不争气地漏了一拍。“我也不知道他是不是适合我，”他承认道，虽然 большей частью 只是在开玩笑。“他说的每句话都能让我脸红心跳，可我说的任何话好像都对他免疫，结果就我一个人在那儿晕头转向，他倒好，就站在那儿傻乐。”星华说着，嘟起了嘴，引得佑荣咯咯地笑了起来。

“But he’s gentle too, isn’t he?” Wooyoung pointed out, and Seonghwa nodded, for he couldn’t deny that. “He’s a good man, Seonghwa. They all are. From what you say, it sounds like he likes to tease you, but when he feeds from you he’s completely sincere.”
“不过，他也很温柔吧？” 禹英一语中的，星化也点点头，没法否认。“他是个好人，星化。他们都是。听你说的，他好像是喜欢逗你玩，可他吸食你的时候，那份真心实意可一点都不打折扣。”

“That’s the problem,” Seonghwa groaned, flopping back against the couch, letting his head hang back. “I can’t even find it in myself to be annoyed at him, because he treats me so kindly. He teases me while fixing my coat, or says something shameless while brushing the hair out of my face. And when he feeds from me, he’s so gentle that it sometimes makes me want to cry.” He sucked in a long, shuddering breath. “He takes care of me. No one has ever done that for me before.”
“问题就出在这儿，” 星化呻吟着，整个人瘫倒在沙发上，头无力地向后仰。“我甚至没法真的对他生气，因为他对我太好了。他一边帮我整理外套，一边逗我，或者一边帮我拂开额前的头发，一边说些不要脸的话。还有，他吸我的血的时候，是那么的温柔，有时候温柔得我都想哭了。” 他长长地吸了一口气，身体都有些颤抖。“他照顾我。从来没有人这样照顾过我。”

Wooyoung’s smile softened now, and he squeezed Seonghwa’s hand. “I don’t think it’s a problem,” he said, thoughtful. “I think that maybe this is exactly what you needed. I like to believe that life has a way of doing that; of bringing us what we need when we need it most. And I don’t believe for a second that your words don’t have any effect on him. I think he’s smitten with you.”
宇永的笑容变得温柔起来，他捏了捏星和的手。“我不觉得这是个问题，”他若有所思地说，“我觉得这也许正是你需要的。我总是相信生活自有安排，会在我们最需要的时候，把我们需要的东西带到我们身边。而且我一点都不相信你的话对他毫无影响。我觉得他已经被你迷住了。”

Biting back a smile, Seonghwa shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe,” he said, although in truth, Wooyoung’s words made a lot of sense. “Hey, do you want to see something I’ve been making?”
强忍住笑意，星化耸了耸肩。“我不知道，也许吧，” 他说道，虽然实际上，佑荣的话很有道理。“嘿，想看看我最近在搞什么东西吗？”

“What is it?” Wooyoung asked, perking up further.
“什么东西？” 宇英的好奇心彻底被勾起来了，忍不住追问道。

“A pink bunny, I’m learning how to crochet it myself. I’ve messed up a lot, but this is my seventh attempt now, and I think it looks pretty good.” He smiled, and Wooyoung returned it, and suddenly the world didn’t seem so bad.
“一只粉色小兔子，我正在学着自己钩呢。 搞砸了好多次，这已经是第七次尝试了，我觉得这次看起来还不错。” 他笑了， 禹英也回以一笑， 突然间， 世界似乎也没那么糟糕了。

~

After another few days, Seonghwa found himself rolling out of bed after only a few hours of sleep, the night sky still visible through his window. From downstairs, he could hear voices traveling through the wooden floor, and he tried to listen but couldn’t make out any of the actual words. Resigning himself to leaving his room well before the sunrise, he quickly got dressed before opening the door and slipping out into the hallway. 
又过了几天， 星化发现自己只睡了几个小时就从床上滚了下来， 窗外还能看到夜空。 从楼下传来一些说话的声音，穿透木地板， 他努力想听清，但什么也没听明白。 认命地在日出之前离开房间， 他迅速穿好衣服，打开门溜进了走廊。

When he reached the first floor, his attention was drawn immediately to the group of vampires all sitting in the living room, talking and laughing with each other. They hadn’t noticed him yet, and Seonghwa kept his distance at first, just watching them interact. He hadn’t seen them all together since the first day, but almost all of them were here now, other than Wooyoung and San. 
刚下到一楼，成华的目光就被客厅里那群吸血鬼吸引住了，他们正聚在一起说说笑笑。他们还没注意到他，成华一开始只是保持距离，默默地看着他们互动。自从第一天之后，他就没见过他们全体聚在一起了，除了佑荣和伞之外，几乎所有人都到齐了。

They all wore easy smiles, sitting together casually, arms draped over shoulders and sides pressed together. Seeing them like this, he was able to understand that they were more than just a coven brought together by their shared bloodline - they were a family, each with their own special bond to each of the others. Seonghwa could have stood there all day, just watching them. It was fascinating to him, for he had never known that kind of love before. 
他们脸上都挂着轻松的笑容，随意地坐在一起，手臂搭在彼此的肩膀上，身侧紧紧相依。 看着他们这副模样，他终于明白，他们不仅仅是因为共同的血脉而聚集在一起的女巫集会——他们更像是一个家庭，每个人都与其他人有着自己独特的羁绊。 晟华能站在那里一整天，就这样静静地看着他们。 这对他来说太吸引人了，因为他从未体会过这种爱。

Mingi said something funny, and they all started to laugh, Yunho jumping in to respond straight away. As he laughed, Hongjoong tipped his head back just far enough to notice Seonghwa’s presence, and for a moment their eyes locked. Seonghwa froze as Hongjoong whirled around, no longer laughing. The others noticed him as well then, and then he was being stared at by all five of them, fighting the urge to squirm in place. 
玟星说了什么好笑的事情，大家都笑作一团，允浩更是立刻跳出来回应。洪仲基笑得仰起头，恰好瞥见了盛华的身影，那一瞬间，他们的目光交汇了。盛华瞬间僵住，洪仲基也猛地转过身，笑容戛然而止。其他人也注意到了盛华，五个人齐刷刷地盯着他，盛华极力忍住想要原地逃离的冲动。

“What are you doing over there?” Jongho asked, patting the section of couch beside him. “Come join us, it’s okay. You’re always welcome.” He said the words so easily, and all of the others nodded in agreement. 
“你在那边干嘛呢？”钟浩问道，拍了拍身旁的沙发，“过来一起坐吧，没事的。我们随时欢迎你。” 他说得那么自然，其他人也纷纷点头表示赞同。

Hesitating for a moment, Seonghwa then shuffled his way over, sitting beside Jongho. On the long middle couch, Yunho and Mingi sat beside Jongho, leaving Hongjoong and Yeosang sitting on the couch to the left. Although they were sitting on different couches, Hongjoong was still just an arm’s length away, and he reached over to briefly rest his hand on Seonghwa’s knee. “Good morning,” he said, eyes bright. “It is a pleasure to see you this early.” 
星河略微犹豫了一下，还是挪动着身子，挨着钟浩坐下了。长长的中央沙发上，允浩和民基也在钟浩旁边，这样一来，弘中和瑜 Sang 就只能坐在左边的沙发上了。虽然隔着沙发，但弘中离星河也只有一臂的距离，他伸手轻轻地放在星河的膝盖上，停留了片刻。“早上好，” 弘中说道，眼神里闪着光，“这么早就见到你，真是令人愉快。”

Already blushing, Seonghwa was only able to take a breath once Hongjoong’s hand retreated, his heart in his throat. “Yeah, I woke up early today,” he said with a small shrug. “I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation, though. Don’t feel like you have to talk about something else now that I’m here.” 
盛华本就有些泛红的脸颊，直到洪中收回手的那一刻，他才终于敢喘口气，心脏都快跳到嗓子眼了。“嗯，我今天醒得早，”他耸了耸肩，轻声说道。“不过，抱歉打断你们的谈话了。不用因为我来了就觉得非得聊别的事情。”

Yunho stood from the couch, wearing a set of scrubs and a lab coat again, the fire dancing in the reflection against his glasses. “No it’s good that you interrupted us, actually,” he said, brushing the wrinkles out of his clothes. “I’m gonna be late, at this rate. I’ll be back later. I wish I didn’t have to go, because I would’ve liked to talk with you, Seonghwa.” 
允浩从沙发上站起身，又穿上了手术服和白大褂，镜片上跳动着火焰般的光芒。“不，你打断得正好，”他一边说着，一边掸平衣服上的褶皱。“照这样下去，我要迟到了。我晚点回来。真希望我不用走，因为我还挺想和你聊聊的，盛华。”

“Um, any other time is fine,” he answered, and Yunho seemed pleased with that answer. Everyone bid him goodbye, and then he left the living room, the front door opening and closing a moment later. That left four vampires around Seonghwa, and they didn’t show any intention of leaving, each of them turning back to look at him once more. 
“嗯，其他时间都行，” 他回答道。允浩听了这话，似乎很满意。大家跟他道别，然后他离开了客厅，前门随即传来开关的声音。现在，晟华周围就只剩下四个吸血鬼了，而且他们丝毫没有要走的意思，每个人都转过头，再一次看向他。

The attention made Seonghwa want to sink all the way into the cushions, but he tried to keep his expression neutral, embarrassed at his own lack of social skills. He wasn’t used to interacting with one person, let alone four at once. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Mingi started, and Seonghwa looked over at him as he spoke. “How much do you know about vampires, anyway?” 
被这么多人盯着，星和恨不得把自己完全埋进沙发里。他努力维持着面上的平静，心里却为自己拙劣的社交技巧感到难堪。他不太习惯和人一对一交流，更别说一次性面对四个了。“所以，我一直想问你，” 旼琦开了口，星和看向他。“你对吸血鬼了解多少？”

His question reminded Seonghwa of his conversation with Hongjoong out on the porch that day, and he shook his head. “I don’t know a lot,” he admitted, finding it easier to just be honest. “I didn’t even know what it actually means to be an immortalist until Hongjoong showed me.”
圣华的疑问让他想起那天在门廊外和弘中之间的对话，他摇了摇头。“我知道的不多，”他坦诚地说，觉得还是实话实说比较轻松。“我甚至不知道成为永生者到底意味着什么，直到弘中向我展示了。”

“Hey, well that’s okay!” Mingi assured, and he appeared rather excited now. “That just means we get to tell you about all of it. What else do you want to know?” 
“哎哟，没事没事！” 旼琦安抚道，看起来反而更兴奋了。“那不正好，我们可以从头到尾好好跟你说说。你还想知道什么？”

The others nodded as well, and Seonghwa parted his lips before closing his mouth again, trying to think of something. If they actually wanted to talk with him about this, then he would take advantage of that. “Um, what are the other types of vampires, then?” he asked, for that was something he had been wondering about for a while. “I know about immortalists, and I’ve also heard about the speed and strength enhanced ones, but aren’t there eight kinds?” 
其他人也纷纷点头，星化张了张嘴，又闭上，努力想着措辞。既然他们真的想跟他聊这个，那他可得抓住机会好好问问。“嗯，那其他种类的吸血鬼都有哪些啊？”他问，这个问题他好奇很久了。“我知道有长生者，也听说过速度和力量增强型的，但不是说有八种吗？”

Seonghwa’s knowledge on this entire topic was extremely limited, but he had always suspected that the actual lack of confirmed information related to vampirism was purposeful, not only on behalf of the vampires themselves. Any faith that he should have possessed in the humans in positions of power had left him ages ago, after their system had failed him time and time again, and he wouldn’t be surprised if those people of importance withheld information on purpose. 
关于吸血鬼这事儿，星化的了解那真是少得可怜。但他一直隐约觉得，市面上压根就没啥靠谱的实锤信息，绝对是有人在背后捣鬼，而且还不光是吸血鬼自己。他对那些当权派早就死了心了，他们的那一套体系把他坑了一次又一次，要是说他们故意藏着掖着，星化一点儿都不会觉得奇怪。

All they had ever really wanted was to exert control over as much of the world as possible. By keeping humans in the dark, fear ran rampant, and they maintained their hold on the city. The regulations kept vampires in check as well, leading to society as it stood now. 
他们一直以来真正想要的，不过是尽可能地掌控这个世界。通过蒙蔽人类，恐惧便会蔓延，他们也就能牢牢掌控这座城市。那些规章制度同样也束缚着吸血鬼，这才有了如今的社会局面。

“Speed enhanced vampires are called fleeters, yes,” Jongho confirmed, taking over. “And ironbloods are strength enhanced. There are no Fleeter or Ironblood Covens in Seoul, though. Only four covens occupy this city, all from different clans, native to the patches of forest just like this one. Us, the immortalists, of course but three others as well. Hypnotists, sunwalkers, and mindreaders. All with abilities that are attributed to their overarching clan, the bloodline that runs through each vampire within it. Our coven is by far the smallest - the others have upwards of one hundred members.” 
“速度型血族，对，我们叫他们飞毛腿，”钟浩接话，肯定地说。“还有铁血族，那是力量型的。不过首尔没有飞毛腿或者铁血族的聚集地。这座城市只有四个族群，都来自不同的氏族，就像这片森林一样，是本地土生土长的。我们永生者是其中之一，当然还有其他三个。催眠师、日光行者，还有读心者。他们的能力都归功于他们所属的氏族，那流淌在每个血族成员体内的血脉。我们族群是最小的——其他的都有超过一百个成员。”

Seonghwa struggled to make sense of all of this, taking a moment to organize it within his brain. From what he could tell, covens were the individual groupings of vampires within a distinct area, but they had to originate from the same bloodline. He didn’t necessarily understand how that worked, but he assumed it had something to do with how vampires were turned, the blood from the sire influencing the blood of the fledgling in some way. 
星和努力理解着这一切，他需要一点时间在大脑里整理这些信息。就他目前所了解的，血族（covens）是特定区域内吸血鬼的独立组织，但他们必须源自同一血脉。他不太明白这其中的运作机制，但他猜测这和吸血鬼的转化方式有关，始祖的血液以某种方式影响着新生的血液。

“What are their abilities?” he asked eventually, curious. “It sounds kind of self explanatory, but…”
“他们都有什么能耐？” 他终于忍不住好奇地问了出来，“听着好像功能挺直白的，不过……”

“It is,” Hongjoong agreed, but he explained anyway. “Sunwalkers can walk in the sun. They aren’t bound by the rules that the rest of us are; they don’t burn up in the sun like we do. Hypnotists have the gift of persuasion, and they can coerce anyone into doing their bidding. Their clan is the most heavily regulated though - they can only use their gift in certain ways without punishment. And mindreaders can’t necessarily read a mind completely; they read memories. They can see into a person’s past, but they can’t read their present thoughts.” 
“没错，” 洪中赞同道，但他还是解释了一番。“驭阳者能在阳光下行走。他们不受我们这些普通吸血鬼的规则束缚，不会像我们一样在阳光下被烧成灰烬。催眠师则拥有说服的天赋，可以强迫任何人服从他们的意志。不过，他们的氏族也受到最严格的监管——他们只能在特定的情况下使用他们的天赋，否则会受到惩罚。还有读心者，他们不一定能完全读取一个人的思想，他们读取的是记忆。他们可以看到一个人的过去，但无法读取他们现在的想法。”

Seonghwa listened attentively, absorbing all of that information and filing it away in his mind, a clearer picture of vampires now being painted within it. “So every bloodline has its own gift,” he said, and he received a round of nods in return. “How did that come about? How are these things possible?” 
星化听得格外认真，将所有信息都吸收进脑海，关于吸血鬼的认知在他脑中逐渐清晰起来。 “所以每个血脉都有自己独特的天赋？” 他问道，换来大家一致点头。“这都是怎么来的？这些事情怎么会变成可能？”

“There are a lot of possibilities when you’re dead,” Yeosang answered, his voice timid. “But most people believe that vampirism started from an instance of necromancy gone wrong, but none of the founders are alive to confirm or deny. They were executed a long time ago, but they had already passed on their newfound power.”
“人死了之后，可能性可就太多了，” 吕尚怯生生地回答，声音里带着一丝不确定，“不过大多数人都觉得，吸血鬼的起源是因为某种死灵术出了岔子，但那些始作俑者早就灰飞烟灭了，谁也没法证实或否认。 他们老早之前就被处决了，但他们已经把那股邪门的力量传下去了。”

That sounded like a long, complicated story, and Seonghwa didn’t know if he could handle all of that information at the moment. Instead, he asked the one thing that was now nagging at his mind, a frown twisting his mouth. “So… there are really vampires who can walk in the sun? I always thought that if I avoided staying out after dark, I wouldn’t ever encounter a vampire.” 
听起来像是个冗长又复杂的故事，而星化不知道自己现在是否能承受得了这么多信息。他皱着眉头，问出了现在脑海里最在意的问题：“所以……真的有能在阳光下行走的吸血鬼？我一直以为只要我不摸黑出门，就不会遇到吸血鬼。”

“That is the way the myths go, but yes. There are vampires who can walk in the sun. One of the few positive sides to the peace negotiations between humans and vampires was our right to keep our secrets close. Since human lifespans are so short, any concrete knowledge has been warped into fable by now, leaving questions of what is true and what is not,” explained Hongjoong, and from the way he spoke, Seonghwa knew that he was speaking from memory and not just from his knowledge of history. 
“传说嘛，就是那样以讹传讹的，不过，没错。确实有能在阳光下行走的吸血鬼存在。人类和吸血鬼之间的和平谈判，为数不多的积极成果之一，就是我们有权保守自己的秘密。毕竟人类寿命太短了，任何确凿的知识，到现在都被扭曲成各种各样的寓言故事了，搞得人根本分不清真假。” 弘中解释道，听他的口气，星和知道他说的这些，不仅仅是历史知识，更是他亲身经历的记忆。

He had actually been alive during those times. He had witnessed the way that vampire and human relations had changed, had experienced the shift from a lawless land to a heavily regulated one. Seonghwa couldn’t help but wonder what it had been like back then. Vampires had existed unchecked, so it was no leap to assume that humans had lived in constant fear as a result. 
他居然真的经历过那个年代。亲眼见证了吸血鬼和人类关系的变化，从一片无法无天的土地，变成了一个受到严格管制的社会。星和忍不住好奇，那时候到底是什么样子。吸血鬼不受约束地存在着，所以不难想象，当时的人类一定生活在持续的恐惧之中吧。

“And… you were a part of those negotiations?” he asked, looking at Hongjoong, their eyes meeting. Hongjoong looked dangerously handsome tonight, dressed in all black. His skin was so pale that his eyes almost always appeared to be ringed with reddish-purple color, almost like permanent twin bruises. 
“这么说…你当时也参与了谈判？” 他问，目光落在弘中的身上，两人的视线交汇。 今晚的弘中一身黑衣，显得格外英俊，带着一丝危险的气息。 他皮肤白皙，衬得眼周泛着红紫色的阴影，像一对永远无法消退的淤青，更添几分神秘。

He nodded, the firelight highlighting the sharp line of his jaw, casting a shadow along the hollow of his throat. “Yes,” he said, the end of the word slightly drawn out, characteristic of that accent of his. “Many years ago. Each regional council was founded at that time, and I have upheld my place on ours ever since. You are lucky to be my feeder, I can tell you anything that you wish to know.” He winked, and Seonghwa had to look away. 
他点了点头，火光映衬着他棱角分明的下颚线，在喉结处投下一片阴影。“没错，”他说，尾音微微拉长，带着他特有的口音。“很多年前的事了。那时候各个区域委员会都成立了，我从那时起就一直坚守着自己的位置。你能成为我的 feeder，算你走运，你想知道什么我都可以告诉你。”他眨了眨眼，成华不得不移开视线。

“Isn’t most of that supposed to be confidential?” he pointed out, glancing back at Hongjoong just in time to watch him roll his eyes, leaning back and draping an arm over the side of the couch.
“这些东西，大部分不应该是保密的吗？” 圣华忍不住指出，同时回头瞥了眼弘中，正好看到他翻了个白眼，向后一靠，一条胳膊随意地搭在沙发边上。

“What the humans do not know cannot hurt them,” he replied, not sounding terribly concerned about breaking the law. “I would never pass on important information to people I do not trust. But I will tell you all that you wish to know.” 
“凡人不知，便无所伤，” 弘中回道，听起来对违反法律什么的，一点都不在意，“我绝不会把重要的情报泄露给我不信任的人。但你们想知道什么，我都会告诉你们。”

Seonghwa gave up on trying to understand him, and instead he considered that, an immediate question coming to mind. “Do you only handle occurrences that involve vampires? Or do you handle humans at times as well?” After all, he had never heard of a human being brought before the vampire council for trial, but he wouldn’t put it past the government to hide that from the public. The more he learned from these vampires, the more he understood how little humans actually knew. 
星和放弃了理解他，转而考虑起另一件事，一个疑问立刻涌上心头：“你只处理跟吸血鬼有关的事吗？还是说，有时候也会管人类的事？” 毕竟，他还从没听说过有人类被带到吸血鬼议会接受审判，但他也不会觉得政府不会对公众隐瞒这种事。从这些吸血鬼身上了解得越多，他就越发明白人类知道的到底有多么可怜。

Humans weren’t bound by such a tight set of regulations like vampires, but they were still bound by fear, blind to their own ignorance and left to speculate over important information. And vampires, while regulated heavily, knew everything. Two worlds side by side, both with their own set of trade-offs. 
人类不像吸血鬼那样被严苛的规矩束缚，但他们逃不过恐惧的支配，对自身的无知视而不见，只能对重要的信息妄加猜测。而吸血鬼呢，虽然规矩一大堆，但什么都知道。两个世界并肩而立，各有各的优劣，真是让人忍痛割爱，难以取舍啊。

But now, Seonghwa felt as if he were walking between worlds, privy to the information he had been denied before while still escaping the laws that restricted vampires. He wasn’t supposed to know any of this, he was sure of that, but he was curious and Hongjoong was willing. How could he pass up an opportunity to gain more knowledge, especially when he of all people owed nothing to humanity?
但现在，星化感觉自己仿佛行走于世界的夹缝之间，既能窥探到之前被禁止的信息，又能逃脱束缚吸血鬼的法则。他确信，自己本不该知道这些，但他充满了好奇，而洪中也乐于分享。面对这样一个获取更多知识的机会，他又怎能错过呢？尤其是，他可是最不欠人类的那一个。

“It depends on the situation,” Hongjoong answered, and he lost the air of humor to his tone now, his features settling into a more serious expression. “If only humans are involved, then most of the time, the vampire council plays no role. But there have been times where the governing humans will consult the council despite that, if a case still concerns vampires in some way.” 
“这取决于具体情况，”洪中回答道，语气中少了些许戏谑，表情也变得严肃起来。“如果只涉及人类，那么大多数情况下，吸血鬼议会是不会插手的。但有些时候，即使案件与吸血鬼有关联，人类的统治者也会咨询议会的意见。”

Reading the confusion on Seonghwa’s face, he elaborated further. “Several decades ago, a serial killer evaded human attempts at capture for months. He was a human as well, but he staged his murders to frame vampires as the guilty ones. In that case, the council was heavily involved, even after the killer was determined to be human. Same with the vampire-obsessed scientist who went mad, and the woman who tried to turn her unborn child into a vampire while she was pregnant. When it involves vampires in some way, the council plays a part as well.”
看到星和脸上那副迷惑不解的样子，他进一步解释道：“几十年前，有个连环杀手逃过了人类好几个月的追捕。那家伙也是个人类，但他把所有的谋杀现场都伪装成是吸血鬼干的，想栽赃嫁祸。当时，就算后来查明凶手是人类，议会也深度介入了。还有那个痴迷吸血鬼，最后疯了的科学家，以及那个想在她怀孕的时候把她未出生的孩子变成吸血鬼的女人。只要事情牵扯到吸血鬼，不管深浅，议会都会插手。”

“Oh,” Seonghwa breathed, thoroughly disturbed. “How do you, um, handle that kind of thing? I don’t think I could bear having to be involved in something so awful.” 
“喔……”星和倒吸一口凉气，感觉浑身都不舒服，“那…你们怎么处理这种事啊？我光是想想自己要参与这种糟糕透顶的事情，就觉得受不了。”

“I would rather it be me than someone else,” Hongjoong answered simply. “And remember that I have been alive for a long time. It is not so easy to disturb me, now. It does happen, but not often. Perhaps once per decade, if that. But what I will say is that the cases I’ve handled that involve humans are the most disturbing. Vampires are not as evil as many humans are.” 
“与其是别人遭罪，不如我来，” 弘中语气淡淡的，却带着一股不容置疑的坚定。“而且记住，我活了这么久，可没那么容易被撼动。也不是说完全不会，但真的很少，可能十年都碰不上一次吧。但说实话，我处理过的案子里，只要牵扯到人类的，都最让我心里不舒服。吸血鬼远没有很多人类那么邪恶。”

Seonghwa moved his hand to touch his neck, recalling his own scars, and Hongjoong’s face softened. “That is not to say that vampires cannot be evil as well,” he added, reaching over to touch Seonghwa’s arm, a silent show of support. “I have known plenty that are.” 
星化抬手摩挲着自己的脖颈，想起了那些伤疤，弘中的表情也柔和了下来。“我并不是说吸血鬼就不会作恶，”他补充道，伸手碰了碰星化的手臂，无声地支持着他。“我认识的坏吸血鬼可不少。”

Something occurred to Seonghwa then, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you remember prosecuting a vampire who fed from young children? It would have been about twenty-four years ago. You - you probably handled that case.” 
盛华突然想到什么，倒吸一口凉气。“你还记得大约二十四年前，你起诉过一个吸食幼童的吸血鬼吗？你——你可能经手过那个案子。”

For a moment, Hongjoong said nothing, searching Seonghwa’s face as the muscles in his jaw shifted beneath the cover of his skin. “I…” His voice trailed off, and he let out a sigh. “I did not want to say this unless you asked, but I have handled many cases like that. I do not remember yours specifically. I am sorry.”
洪仲基沉默了片刻，目光紧锁着星和的脸，下颚的肌肉在他皮肤下微微抽动。“我……”他的声音越来越轻，叹了口气。“除非你问，否则我不想说这个。但我处理过很多类似的案子。我不记得你的具体情况了。我很抱歉。”

Biting his lip hard, Seonghwa tried to ignore the pain that had started to accumulate in his chest. “How many?” he whispered, afraid of the answer. “How often does the same thing that happened to me happen to other children? Other babies?”
星和狠狠地咬着嘴唇，努力忽略胸口开始积聚的痛楚。“有多少？”他低声问道，害怕听到答案。“像我这样遭遇的孩子，其他婴儿，有多少？”

“Seonghwa…” Hongjoong said, reaching for his hand, but Seonghwa withdrew it before their skin could touch. His fingers were trembling, and he curled them into fists to hide it. “At least once a year, usually,” he finally admitted, and the words hit Seonghwa like a blow to the chest. “It leads to executions, which allows new vampires to be turned. There’s a consistent turnover because of people like that, who do terrible things. I’m sorry if that wasn’t the answer you were looking for.” 
“星和……” 洪中说着，伸出手想要握住他的手，但星和却在他碰到之前迅速抽回。他的手指微微颤抖，紧紧握成拳头，想要掩饰住这不安。“至少一年一次，通常情况。” 他终于承认，这句话像重击一样打在星和的胸口。“这会导致处决，从而允许新的吸血鬼诞生。因为像他们这样的人，做了可怕的事情，所以人员流动一直很稳定。如果这不是你想要的答案，我很抱歉。”

“Obviously it wasn’t,” Seonghwa answered, his voice cracking over the words, diminishing their intensity. “That shouldn’t be allowed to happen. My life was ruined before it ever even started, all because of a vampire who couldn’t resist - couldn’t resist what? The taste of blood yet to be tainted by the world? It’s evil. That’s fucking evil.” 
“明摆着不是吗！” 星化回答，声音嘶哑，反而削弱了话语中的强烈情绪。“那种事情根本不该发生。我的人生还没开始就被毁了，就因为一个忍不住的吸血鬼——忍不住什么？还没被世俗玷污的血液的味道吗？简直是恶魔行径，他妈的太邪恶了。”

His eyes burned, and he held both hands to his neck, suddenly embarrassed about his own reaction. But he was shaking and he couldn’t stop, and when Hongjoong reached for him again, he jolted straight to his feet. “I’m going upstairs,” he said, and his voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away. “I’m - I’m sorry.” 
他的眼神里像是燃着一团火，他下意识地用双手捂住自己的脖子，突然为自己刚才的反应感到难堪。但他浑身都在颤抖，根本停不下来。当洪中再次向他伸出手时，他猛地站起身来。“我上楼了，” 他的声音听起来像是从遥远的地方传来。“我……我真的很抱歉。”

He darted from the living room, the first tears blinking free as he rushed up the stairs, hating himself for reacting like that. Aside from Hongjoong, he had barely interacted with the other vampires at all since he moved into their house, and here he was making a terrible impression.
他箭一般地冲出客厅，眼泪在冲上楼梯的时候终于忍不住掉了下来。他恨死了自己刚才的反应。自从搬进这栋房子以来，除了洪中，他几乎没有和其他吸血鬼交流过，结果第一次正式见面就留下了这么糟糕的印象。

As he stopped in front of his door to push it open, he heard footsteps behind him, and he whirled around with his stomach twisted into a tight knot. He intended to tell Hongjoong to leave, the words already sitting on the tip of his tongue, but they died there when he realized that Hongjoong wasn’t the one who had followed him. 
他停在自己门前，正要推门进去，却听到身后传来脚步声。他猛地转过身，胃里像打了个死结一样难受。他本来打算让洪仲赶紧滚蛋，话都到嘴边了，结果发现跟踪他的人根本不是洪仲，那些话就又咽了回去。

Yeosang was standing there, his hands clasped awkwardly in front of his waist, his eyes gentle as he stared at Seonghwa. He left a bit of distance between them, and his presence wasn’t hulking, unlike some of the others. “I’m not going to force you to talk to me or anything, don’t worry,” he said, offering a smile.
只见 Yeosang 站在那里，双手略显局促地交握在腰前，目光温柔地注视着星和。他与星和保持着一段距离，不像其他人那样带着压迫感。“别担心，我不会强迫你和我说话什么的，” 他笑着说道。

Seonghwa didn’t return it, but he didn’t open his door yet either, waiting to hear what else Yeosang had to say. “I just want to tell you that most of us went through terrible things when we were still human, too. And I’m not saying that to diminish or take away from your pain in any way; I just want you to know that we understand. Life hasn’t been fair to you. It’s okay to be upset about that.” 
星化没有回应，也没立刻打开门，他在等，想听听瑜伞还有什么要说。“我只是想告诉你，我们大多数人，在还是人类的时候，也都经历过糟糕透顶的事情。我这么说，不是想让你觉得你的痛苦微不足道，或者想减轻你的痛苦。我只是想让你知道，我们理解你。命运对你不公，你有权为此感到难过。”

The sentiment was simple, but it was one that Seonghwa needed to hear, and he softened a bit as a result. “Thank you,” he murmured, swallowing around the lump building in his throat. “I… I appreciate you telling me that. I didn’t mean to leave so abruptly, and to make the conversation take such a turn, but I feel like this world gets crueler every time I blink. Or, at least, I learn more about how cruel it has always been, right under my nose.” 
瑜伞的话语很简单，但对星化来说，却是他现在最需要的安慰。他的心柔软了几分，低声喃喃道：“谢谢。”他努力吞咽，喉咙里却哽咽得厉害。“我……我感谢你告诉我这些。我不是故意要突然离开，把天聊死的，但我感觉，这个世界每眨一下眼，就变得更加残酷。或者说，至少，我了解到了更多一直隐藏在我眼皮底下的残酷真相。”

“I know,” Yeosang said, completely sincere. “It shouldn’t be this way, but this world has always been fucked up. Especially to people like you, who never even had a chance.” 
“我知道，” 吕尚语气真挚地说。“这本不该是这样的，可这世界一直烂透了。尤其是对你这样的人，连一丝机会都没给过。”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa agreed, shoulders slumping as he sighed. “But… thank you. For understanding.” 
“是啊，”星化叹了口气，肩膀也垮了下来， “但是… 还是谢谢你， 谢谢你的理解。”

He twisted the doorknob and pushed open his door, looking back at Yeosang as his lips curved into a small smile. “We all do,” he said again, his eyes holding so much depth that Seonghwa couldn’t fully decipher. “But it’s okay to need time alone, too. No one will deprive you of that.” He raised his hand in a small wave. “See you later?” 
他拧动门把手，推开了自己的房门，回头看向余相，嘴角勾起一抹淡淡的笑意。“我们都会这样的。”他再次说道，眼神深邃得让星化无法完全解读。“但给自己留点独处的时间也没什么不好。没人会剥夺你这份自由。”他抬起手，轻轻挥了挥。“待会儿见？”

Seonghwa smiled too then, and he nodded. “Yeah,” he replied, touched. “I’ll see you later.” 
星化也笑了笑，点了点头。“嗯。”他回答道，心里暖暖的。“待会儿见。”

He entered his room then, closing the door gently and sitting down on his bed, dropping his head into his hands. He sat there in silence for minutes that turned into hours, his head spinning as he considered all of the children who had been hurt so young like himself, who had never had a chance at life. It was so unfair that it made him want to scream, but he couldn’t find the strength to do that. 
他走进房间，轻轻地关上门，坐在床边，双手捂住了脸。就这样沉默地坐着，几分钟仿佛过去了几个小时，他思绪混乱，想到那些和他一样，小小年纪就受到伤害，从未有机会好好生活的孩子们。这太不公平了，让他想放声尖叫，却又找不到力气。

So instead, he just cried. He cried until he had no tears left, and then he lay there on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, grateful to these vampires for taking him in. Otherwise, he would still be sleeping in his car as the chill of autumn set in, freezing as he curled up in his back seat in an attempt to conserve his warmth. 
所以，他最后只是哭了。哭到眼泪都流干了，然后就那样躺在床上，呆呆地望着天花板，心里感激这些收留他的吸血鬼。要不然，现在他还得睡在车里，瑟瑟秋风中，蜷缩在后座上，拼命想留住那点可怜的热气，估计都快冻僵了。

The world was cruel, but for the first time in his life, he had found people who were kind. And the more time he spent with them, the stronger his attachments grew. Now, when he thought about them, his heart warmed and his anxiety calmed, and he was starting to understand why humans were supposed to be social creatures. 
这世界待他凉薄，可他这辈子头一回，遇到了这么一群真心待他好的人。和他们相处越久，那份牵绊就越深。现在，只要一想到他们，心里就暖洋洋的，焦虑也跟着烟消云散。他开始有点明白，为什么人天生就是群居动物了。

After living so long without being touched, he now yearned for soft touches and gentle hands. His initial reaction to any question posed his way was surprise, because he wasn’t used to anyone caring about what he had to say. All of these experiences were new to him, but in a positive way, contrasting so extremely with all of the years of his life that had come before. 
许久未曾被人触碰，他现在渴望的是温柔的爱抚和轻柔的双手。 任何问题抛向他时，他最初的反应都是惊讶，因为他已经不习惯有人在乎他的想法了。所有这些经历对他来说都是全新的，而且是以一种积极的方式，与他之前人生岁月中经历的完全相反。

He didn’t know how long he would be able to hold into this new life, but he would make every effort to cherish these connections while they lasted. Because even when the pain struck now, the blow was cushioned by the newfound care that surrounded his heart, a product of the vampires whom he now lived alongside. 
他不知道自己能在这崭新的生活中坚持多久，但他会竭尽全力珍惜这些缘分，哪怕只是昙花一现。因为现在就算痛苦袭来，也会被心中这份新生的关爱所缓冲，而这份关爱，是来自他现在朝夕相处的吸血鬼们。

The world was cruel, and vindictive, and wrought with pain, but they weren’t. 
这个世界是残酷的、充满报复心的、饱含痛苦的，但 *他们* 不是。